tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37403703026977937132024-03-16T02:33:51.350-05:00Cinematic SaraCritiques and commentary of films.Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.comBlogger541125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-75382675566345989122024-03-13T20:18:00.002-05:002024-03-13T20:22:53.622-05:00Honey, I Shrunk Myself<div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Downsizing</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Director: Alexander Payne</div><div style="text-align: left;">Cast: Matt Damon, Christoph Waltz, Kristen Wiig, Hong Chau</div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: December 22, 2017</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://i0.wp.com/citymagazine.si/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/downsizing-movie-four.jpg?resize=1400%2C584&ssl=1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="334" data-original-width="800" height="167" src="https://i0.wp.com/citymagazine.si/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/downsizing-movie-four.jpg?resize=1400%2C584&ssl=1" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">As someone who lives in Omaha, the people of Omaha/Nebraska should be thankful for Alexander Payne. Why? Because if it weren't for him, the state of Nebraska would probably be best known for <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2021/08/fox-is-wolf.html">Teen Wolf</a>, and trust me, we need all the help we can get. Yes, we have Warren Buffett and that one Lady Gaga song, but as far as films, it would be totally embarrassing and shameful if <i>Teen Wolf </i>(which takes place in some fictional Nebraska town, but wasn't filmed there) was the movie everyone thought about if (for whatever reason) movies that take place in Nebraska was brought up. Payne, who is from Omaha, has set many of his movies in Nebraska, usually Omaha. I remember when I saw <i>About Schmidt</i> with my mom and she goes, "Oh! There's [name of friend]'s house!" </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So this movie is interesting, to say the least. I knew that it was about Matt Damon becoming small (very small!) and when I first started watching it, I was like, Oh, this movie is like <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2018/01/little-children.html">Honey I Shrunk the Kids</a>! Except it's not. In that movie, Rick Moranis invents his contraption to shrink items; it's not meant for shrinking people. In this movie, shrinking people is very intentional and the whole point. Also, once you become small, you can never go back to your normal size, but, luckily, in <i>Honey</i>, the four shrunken kids are restored to their normal size. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The movie starts in Bergen, Norway, where we see a scientist inject a mouse with something and put it into some machine, and, later, when he opens it, he looks surprised. We don't see the mini mouse (heh), but we know what he's seeing because we know what this movie's about. He excitedly tells his news to another colleague. </div><p>Five years later and we're in Istanbul at a conference with a company called Global Solutions where the topic that day will be "Human Scale and Sustainability" with Dr. Andreas Jacobsen and Dr. Jorgen Asbjornsen from the Edvardsen Institute. In case you couldn't tell from their names, they're the two men from Norway we met in the first scene. </p><p>Dr. Jacobsen tells the audience that the Institute "identified overpopulation as mankind's single greatest long-term threat" in the 1950s. One of their ideas they came up with many year ago seemed "too ambitious" and "out of their grasp", but they have finally made it a reality. While he's talking, he's standing next to a podium with a wooden box, maybe a little bigger than a shoebox, on it. He announces they are about to unveil what they "believe to be the only practical, humane and inclusive remedy to humanity's gravest problem" (He sure is laying it on thick here!) and that his colleague, Dr. Jorgen Ashborgsen, will tell them what it is. The audience clearly sees what is it when he lifts the box to reveal the tiny man who is Jorgen. He is standing behind his own tiny podium. </p><p>Everyone is gasping and I can't blame them. That would freak me the f*** out. People are standing to get a better look and most of them are taking pictures/videos with their phones. Honestly, I'm surprised they were allowed to bring their phones. Somebody could just post a picture/video to social media and it would be out before they were ready to share their finding with the rest of the world. Even though Jorgen is small, his voice is still the same when he was his normal size. He says he and his colleagues "discovered a process by which all organic material can be reduced at the cellular level by a ratio of approximately 2,744 to one." This converts a man of 1.8 meters (5'11"; I had to ask Alexa to convert!) to 12.9 centimeter (5 inches)! That's a lot of science and math in one sentence. They also tested flora and fauna and "with the exception of some fish and shellfish, no side effects were detected." (I wonder what they were). </p><p>He presents a slideshow on the screen with the "experimental group" which consisted of 36 volunteers who joined him and his wife, Anne-Helene. Once they knew the procedure was safe, these 36 people became the "very first humans to undergo cellular reduction." I'm sorry, but who the f*** would volunteer for this? Jorgen says the volunteers are brave, but I would call them stupid idiots. We see a slide of the group sitting on some rocks outside. I guess the rocks are supposed to be pebbles, but they look like normal sized people sitting on/standing around boulders, which it probably is in reality! He claims the process is "short and painless" (heh, I wonder if he realized he was making a pun), the only discomfort being the "removal and replacement of dental and other prosthetics" We see a before and after picture of a man who downsized and the latter has a ruler and a measuring cup next to the tiny man to make it clear and obvious he's tiny! </p><p>This must be going viral by now (thanks to all those audience members publishing their pics and videos to social media!) because other people who are in the building (at other conferences or meetings, I guess) come rushing into the auditorium to see the tiny man. He is now talking about their "little village" which is 7 meters (23 feet) by 11 meters (36 feet). It was "placed inside a gas-permeable enclosure designed to protect [them] from the hazards of weather, animals, and insects." Obviously, these people have never seen <i>Honey, I Shrunk the Kids </i>or they would know they could become friends with ants! Remember Anty? While he tells them they are living together in "the world's very first self-sustaining community of the small" (well, duh), Dr. Jacobsen, who had left while Tiny Jorgen was talking, walks in with a trash bag that's probably a third full, and announces to the audience that he's holding "all of the un-compostable waste produced by 36 people over four years." Wait, shouldn't it be 38 people since it was 36 people who joined Jorgen and Anne-Helene? Well, 36/38, either way, they don't use that much trash. Can you imagine how much waste 36 (or 38!) people produce in four years? Much more than that! I guess the tiny people have to feel smug about something! They have a "proposal for a two to three hundred-year transition for the world to transform from big into small." </p><p>This seems like a lot of work to transform every person in the world (not to mention all the flora and fauna!) into miniature versions of themselves. Not to mention you'll have to completely change the infrastructure and don't get me started on transportation. Are there going to be tiny planes and boats now? I'm not exactly sure how far they got into their plan. There's a lot of holes in their plan that don't always get addressed. </p><p>The very first village of tiny people are brought out on stage on a cart and the audience thinks this is the greatest thing ever. Nobody seems to have any objection to this at all. You think there would be one person who might find this a little unethical? No? Anyway, as you may have guessed, trick photography is used in scenes like this. </p><p>They don't specify but I'm guessing all the small people are Norwegian. Jorgen points out a family with a toddler and baby and tells them that Ronni Nestrud is the "first small baby ever born." I'm guessing his baby sister is the second small baby ever born! </p><p>I have to wonder....they said these 36 people volunteered to become small, but do you think there was a much larger pool of volunteers and they specifically picked these 36 people because they would help society? Like, maybe there was a doctor, someone in engineering, computer software, construction, just different experts in different subjects so they would have the knowledge to create what they needed? They don't really address that, but it must be the case! </p><p>To no one's surprise, this thing goes viral and is shown all over the world. This is when we meet Paul Safranek (Matt Damon) who lives in Omaha and works at Omaha Steaks. This is just a quick introduction and the next thing we know, ten years have passed. He's now married to a woman named Audrey (Kristen Wiig) and still works at Omaha Steaks, but he's an in-house physical therapist who helps people with their wrists and joints. </p><p>By this time, it's been fifteen years since the reveal of the new technology that can make people become small and several people have undergone the treatment. Paul and two of his friends are at a bar watching a news program that is debating the effects of people becoming small. We see a regular sized man and a small woman debating. The man says it's having a "devastating effect on our world economy" as billions of dollars are lost in consumer spending. </p><p>So in this part of the movie, it's set in Omaha and I did get a chuckle out of a few things that only I (or anyone from here) would get. Paul and Audrey are wanting to move and are looking at a very nice house (that's probably in west Omaha!) and Audrey really likes it, but Paul thinks they should look "at that place in Benson". Haha, I know where that is! We see them attend a reunion at Creighton Prep. I've heard of it! Matt Damon wears a "Nebraska" shirt in a couple scenes. Ha, do you think he felt like a traitor? </p><p>At the reunion, Paul runs into a former classmate randomly played by James Van der Beek (we'll see some other cameos pop up later) who is in the medical field. We find out that Paul was pre-med and wanted to be a surgeon, but had to take care of his sick mom (who has since passed away). Basically, he could have had this great life and make good money, but that's not the way things worked out for him.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://variety.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/downsizing.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="113" src="https://variety.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/downsizing.png" width="200" /></a></div>During the reunion, a guy walks in with a diorama box and it contains a former class mate, Dave Johnson, and his wife, Carol who have both become small. In the box there are two small couches and they both have miniature megaphones (hmmm, is that an oxymoron?) they use to communicate. Quick question: do they have to make the small furniture, or can they shrink that too? I'm guessing it's the former. Now if they had Wayne Szalinkski's contraption, they could have easily just shrunk furniture and other objects. <p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.filmcomment.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2017/12/downsizing-FF-002R2-CROP-feature-1600x900-c-default.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="113" src="https://www.filmcomment.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2017/12/downsizing-FF-002R2-CROP-feature-1600x900-c-default.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>After the party, a few people have gone back to Paul and Audrey's house, including the small couple. While Carol is talking to a large group in the living room (she's on the coffee table they're sitting around), Paul is talking to Dave in the kitchen. Dave tells Paul that he and Carol had been living in Vegas where he had gotten "into some real bad habits" and "hit rock bottom." He and his wife decided they needed to change and "start all over" and that's why they became small. (That's a pretty intense and permanent change!) Paul tells him he must feel good about helping to save the planet, but Dave tells him "downsizing is about saving yourself." He says it takes money pressure off and that he's not "driven and ambitious", but he and Carol have a pretty cushy life. He tells Paul that if he and Audrey ever decide to go to small, they should live in Leisureland which is located in New Mexico. The name makes me laugh because it sounds like something you would find at the Magic Kingdom at Disney World, you know, like Adventureland or Tomorrowland, etc. Leisureland has the best houses, doctors, and restaurants...it even has three Cheesecake Factories! (Why the f*** do you need THREE of those?) <p></p><p>Much later, Paul will have another conversation with his (small) neighbor who tells him that people don't become small to help the environment, but do it to become rich and have the things they couldn't have if they weren't small. </p><p>Both Paul and Carol have romanticized the idea of being small and Paul and Audrey basically think what do they have to lose? They drive to Sante Fe where people go to get small just so they can check it out and see "if it's for [them] or not." On the drive there, they pass a billboard for Leisureland Estate claiming to be "America's #1 micro communinity." Pictured is a bunch of people and a dog...and a hot air balloon, so I guess they've created hot air balloons for the miniature people! They enter a huge building that has models of the homes that small people in. Actually, models would imply that they're smaller scale, but these are probably the same size of the actual homes you would see in Leisureland. They look like huge doll houses, so they're basically mansions for the miniature people. </p><p>A huge home for the small if set up in a theater and Senior Product Specialist Jeff Lonowoksi (played by Neil Patrick Harris) comes out the front door, being filmed by a camera guy and it's being shown on the screen for the normal sized people to watch. How did they create a camera that small? I guess it's very possible to create anything in small scale! </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BNWFmMGU2YTgtZTU1Yy00ZjA5LWI4YjMtOGQ3N2Y1YzdjOGIwXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNDE5MTU2MDE@._V1_.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="333" data-original-width="800" height="83" src="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BNWFmMGU2YTgtZTU1Yy00ZjA5LWI4YjMtOGQ3N2Y1YzdjOGIwXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNDE5MTU2MDE@._V1_.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>He shows the audience the inside of his house (which, let's be real, probably isn't really his house, but probably a version of it) and it opens up like a dollhouse. I'm guessing since this is a show house for normal sized people, they created it that way so they could see the inside. Laura Dern is taking a bubble bath in the upstairs bathroom and her name is Laura and I thought she was playing herself, but she's the wife to Jeff, so she's just playing a character named Laura. I know Alexander Payne worked with Bruce Dern in<i> Nebraska</i>, so it was probably easy for him to get her to have a quick cameo in this movie. She's pretty much there to schmooze about what an amazing life they have. She's taking a bubble bath "to relax after such a busy day." She took a tennis lesson, had a massage, and after "a gourmet lunch with the girls" (heh, guess they didn't go to one of the three Cheesecake Factories in their town!), they went downtown to the new jewelry store where she bought "another diamond necklace" with a matching necklace and earrings. Of course she had to add that they were "all conflict free and set in platinum." All of it cost only $83 which is also equal to their food budget for two months. I have to say, they are doing a great job of selling becoming small because the normal sized people are looking very impressed and Paul and Audrey both have an excited look on their face as if to say that they're ready for this lavish lifestyle. I don't know...I don't know if I could become a miniature version of myself just to have all this nice stuff. It might seem great at first, but I feel like I would regret it very soon! <p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.dispatch.com/gcdn/authoring/2017/12/22/NCOD/ghows-OH-5de57011-e241-3db6-e053-0100007fd233-16533373.jpeg?crop=2157,1218,x118,y0&width=2157&height=1218&format=pjpg&auto=webp" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="452" data-original-width="800" height="113" src="https://www.dispatch.com/gcdn/authoring/2017/12/22/NCOD/ghows-OH-5de57011-e241-3db6-e053-0100007fd233-16533373.jpeg?crop=2157,1218,x118,y0&width=2157&height=1218&format=pjpg&auto=webp" width="200" /></a></div>Paul and Audrey talk to a (normal-sized) representative about going small and how much it would cost. She tells them that if they "liquidate [their] current home, cars, and other assets, they can purchase the Regency-level estate (which is the 12,000 square foot equivalent home on the 1.5 acre equivalent lot) at a base price of $63,000." Added to that will be the heat and fitness package ($4,500) that includes gym, pool sauna, stream, hot tub, and a tennis court. The medical procedure for the two of them will cost $15,00 and insurance doesn't cover any of it, but "at the Recency level [they] qualify for a substantial discount." Now I wasn't quite clear if it was $15,000 for the both of them or each of them, but either way, it seemed kind of cheap for the procedure they might undergo. She takes a look at their current debt and retirement and other savings to see they are at a $152,000 in equity and tells them that's a "comfortable number" and in Leisureland that translates to 12.5 million. Both Paul and Audrey are very impressed by this and it makes them happy. Audrey asks the woman why she hasn't become small since it's such a good thing and she replies that she would except that her husband had a hip replacement so he's ineligible. A part of me (the cynical part) was wondering if the woman was just making that up, that she was just trying to sell them on becoming small and makes up some reason why she isn't a small person because she does a great job of selling it! <p></p><p>Back home, Paul and Audrey decide that they're going to go through with becoming small and they sell a bunch of their stuff at a garage sale. In one of the last scenes set in Omaha, they have a farewell dinner with their friends at a restaurant called Jams downtown in the Old Market. This was the most exciting part of the movie for me because I've been to that very restaurant a couple times! The last time I was there I ordered the Texas Chopped Salad. </p><p>Audrey tells her friends that she'll miss them, but they'll be back at least once a year to visit. Her dad shows up without her mom. He tells her that she "couldn't bring herself to come, but she sends her love." He adits that he was a little skeptical about the idea at first, but then he talked to an old friend who became small and he and his wife retired in Leisureland and that they're "getting along just fine" and that now he "sees the appeal." I appreciate that they gave at least one character (even though they're off screen) some reservation about this whole procedure. </p><p>Before they head out to Santa Fe, Paul and Audrey have put their wedding rings and a few sentimental photo and letters in a box marked "Keepsakes" and these will be the only things they will keep. When they're small, they can hang the pictures on their walls as huge portraits! </p><p>Once they get to New Mexico, they take a bus from the airport to the facility. There's a closed off section (kind of like a display case) where a bunch of small people are sitting in their small seats. One of the small women (played by Margo Martindale) strikes up a conversation with Paul (who was sort of staring at the small people). When he tells her he's nervous about becoming small, she tells him he shouldn't be, because "it's the best thing you'll ever do." Seriously, does not one person regret becoming small? I find that hard to believe. </p><p>Okay, better put a spoiler warning here, just in case.</p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Slight spoilers coming up ahead! You have been warned! </span></p><p>Before they go through with the procedure, they have to answer some legal questions such as "Do you understand of your own free will, you will undergo the permanent and irreversible medical procedure commonly known as 'downsizing', and that following the procedure your bodies will be approximately .0364 percent of their current mass and volume?" They have to give their consent to have this medical procedure and they are also told "that there exists an approximately one in 225,000 chance that the procedure could result in injury, permanent disability, or death." </p><p>They're sitting in the waiting room and Paul's name is called. They both get up, but the nurse tells Audrey that she'll have to wait until her name is called because they separate the men and women. The whole procedure will take about five hours and they'll be reunited in the recovery room. Paul and Audrey hug goodbye and tell each other "I love you" and Audrey watches as Paul walks down the very long hallway with the nurse. It's gotta be a scary thought that the next time you'll see your spouse, they will be complete different. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://i.redd.it/lk3nn3s5spg91.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="343" data-original-width="800" height="86" src="https://i.redd.it/lk3nn3s5spg91.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>The majority of the five hours is spent getting ready for the actual procedure and we are shown a montage as Paul and other men are being prepped. Everyone's head and face is shaven clean, including eyebrows, then they are put under sedation and the rest of the body hair is shaved off. Next, dentists work on teeth to remove any cavities or fillings. When that is done, all the patients are wheeled into a huge machine (there's probably 30 men on gurneys in there) and they are all injected with "downsizing solution" which you must "shake well before use." Now don't get that mixed up with any other kind of solution! The door is shut and secured and the machine is turned on and it only seems like the actual shrinking only takes about a minute! The hell? A few nurses, who have been waiting (cuz they know this doesn't take much time at all!), go in and lift the tiny men off the beds with a spatula-like tool (hell, they probably WERE spatulas) and place them on a cart and they are delivered through a slot where small doctors and nurses are on the other side to finish up the rest which is just pretty much putting in new fillings for their teeth. <p></p><p>Paul wakes up in the recovery room and the nurse checks up on him and everything seems to be okay. She asks if he's hungry and comes back holding an individually wrapped saltine cracker and of course it's almost as big as she is. (I'm sure they had a lot of fun with the props!) This is just a cute joke she plays on everyone and tells him she'll bring him some real food. Paul asks about his wife and she checks the records where she sees Audrey's name, but she hasn't been transferred over yet. She assumes she's probably still in dental. Now, at this point, it did cross my mind that something happened like maybe Audrey had died during the procedure. But what actually happens makes way more sense to the plot: she didn't die; she never went through with the procedure. Paul finds this out when he receives a phone call from her. We see her at the airport wearing a hat and one of her eyebrows has been shaved off, so it looks like she made it that far, and, as she tells him, she freaked out after they shaved her hair. She came to the realization that she didn't want to leave her friends and family and while she feels awful, she realized she was only doing this because she was trying to make him happy. Look, I don't blame her at all; that is a very big change to undergo, but it's too bad she didn't talk to him about this sooner. It's pretty funny when she tells him she's upset and he replies, "You're upset? I'm the one who's five f***ing inches tall!" </p><p>Paul now has his nice, cushy big small home all to himself. When the keepsake box (which transforms into a storage truck) arrives at his house, a delivery man carries the rings up to his house and it looks like he's carrying two heavy gold hula hoops. </p><p>One evening, Paul is watching BBC World News where the anchor is talking about how the U.S. Department of Homeland Security and the Immigration and Naturalization Services "have been warning about the ease with which downsized people, from illegal immigrants to potential terrorists, could penetrate U.S. borders." They report a story about how last week at a Target store in Eugene, Oregon, workers "opened a suspicious TV box (there were small holes in one corner) and discovered 17 downsized stowaways from Vietnam, 14 of them already dead, two more dying hours later at a local hospital." The only survivor was a woman named Ngoc Lan Tran (Hong Chau) who was transferred to the best hospital in Leisureland and doctors had to "amputate a portion of an infected leg". Her condition is "described as fair but stable." Ngoc Lan claims to have been jailed for her "political and environmental activism and was miniaturized against her will in a Vietnamese prison facility." This will all come back later. </p><p>One year has passed and Paul and Audrey are officially divorced and Paul has moved into a nice apartment. He works at call center for Land's End and we see he's not really into the job and snaps at a caller who can't decide what color sweater she wants. The woman tells him, "Don't be short with me!" and he gets offended. </p><p>I think this movie is more interesting when you see small people interacting with normal sized people because then you can see the obvious difference, but when Paul is interacting with other small people, you kind of forget they're all five inches tall...probably because they're just normal sized people in real life! </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://static01.nyt.com/images/2017/12/22/arts/22DOWNSIZING/22DOWNSIZING-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="600" height="133" src="https://static01.nyt.com/images/2017/12/22/arts/22DOWNSIZING/22DOWNSIZING-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale" width="200" /></a></div>Paul starts dating a woman, but it doesn't really go anywhere, so he decides to check out one of the wild parties that are often hosted by his upstairs eccentric European neighbor, Dasan (Christoph Waltz). He introduces his friend, Konrad, who is a sea captain, to Paul. Dusan had been in Paul's apartment earlier and noticed he had a life size rose that he got from the shop that sells life size flowers, so Paul brought it to him as a gift. I do enjoy when they bring in props to show us (and remind us!) that these are tiny people. <p></p><p>The next morning after the wild party Paul wakes up in Dasan's living room and sees three Vietnamese cleaning ladies come in to tidy up the place. He recognizes one of them as the one found in the box from the news because she's limping. He catches her stealing pills and thinks she's taking them for her leg. She informs him that they're old pills and Dusan allows her to take them; she's taking them for her roommate who is very sick. He offers to help with her prosthetic leg and after looking at her leg, he tells her she has arthritis and if she doesn't do something about it soon she's going to need a new knee. He advises her she need to go to a specialist as soon as she can to get a new foot. In the meantime, he can make adjustments to her exiting prosthetic and give her tips on how to walk better. She tells him when she's done with her cleaning, he can come with her. He says they can do it here, but she wants him to go with her to help her sick friend. He tells her he's not a doctor, but she says she's tried to take her to a clinic, but her friend has to wait too long and she can't find any doctors to help.</p><p>So they take a bus that goes through a tunnel and Ngoc Lan takes him to her very crowded and shambled apartment building where she shows Paul her bed ridden and sick roommate. Paul gives her some pills that might ease her comfort, but the next day, we find out she died. This whole plot point was to get a working relationship/friendship started with Paul and Ngoc Lan. He tells her he will help her clean until she has a better prosthetic to walk on. </p><p>Ngoc Lan gathers leftover food from the wealthy people she cleans for (with permission) and takes it back to some of the people who reside at her apartment. </p><p>Two weeks pass and Dusan invites Paul to join him and Konrad to visit the original small colony in Norway. After the party, Paul told Dasan that he met met Little Ronni (remember, he's the first small baby ever to be born and now he's a teenager) who still lives in Norway and how he's always wanted to visit the original small colony. Dasan tells him it's "all right" and he usually goes once or twice a year with Konrad for business. </p><p>Now Paul has his chance to go and when the three men tell Ngoc Lan this, she invites herself along (not what they were expecting!) because she's been invited before because of her story. She had received a letter from Dr. Jorgen Asbjornsen who told her he feels guilty that her becoming small was a bad thing and that he never meant for it to be that way. He had invited her to Norway and she never had the means to get there, but now she has the chance to go there and meet him. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMjQ1NDg1MzEwOV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMzQyOTUzNDM@._V1_.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="515" data-original-width="800" height="129" src="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMjQ1NDg1MzEwOV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMzQyOTUzNDM@._V1_.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>The next thing we know, they're on a boat in the waters of Norway and Jorgen and Anne-Helene have joined them. They're talking about how methane in Antartica has been released and "it's the end of everything" and that "homo sapiens will soon vanish from the Earth." Paul asks if downsizing is an option for humankind, but Jorgen informs him that only 3% of the population has downsized and there isn't enough time. That's a shockingly low number considering that downsizing has been around for about 16 years. I guess the majority of the population wasn't into it. <p></p><p>When they get to the first small colony (I can't remember the name of it...Smallville, perhaps? Heh.), Paul and Ngoc Lan are shown a huge tunnel (well huge for small people) that leads to the vault the colony have been workin on "almost since the beginning." They are told "the tunnel leads to a vault 1.6 kilometers (almost one mile) inside the Earth's lithosphere (which is the solid outermost rock shell of the planet...I had to look it up) and is encased in a double layer of Inconel 625" (I have no idea what the f*** that is). There's way too much math and scidene in this movie! Anyway, back to this vault. In it, they will be containing a "broad spectrum of biodiversity, the vault is equipped with fields for growing foods, forest for lumber, livestock for animal husbandry, the residential areas are spacious and easily expandable to provide for future generations." While they are being told about this, there's a monitor with many screens so they can see all this. Everything is lit because of artificial light. The power is 100% geothermal. They have though of everything and it's only possible for them to do this because of their small size. They all will be heading down in the earth's core soon and they will stay down there for 8,000 years (!!!) or "until the surface environment stabilizes." Ugh, no thank you! Paul, however, thinks this is the best idea ever and he wants to join them. </p><p>He tells Ngoc Lan and he wants her to go with him. By this point, they've developed a somewhat romantic relationship. She refuses and tells him she needs to go back home and take care of the people there.</p><p>When it's finally time to go into tunnel (just a few days later), Paul says his goodbyes to Ngoc Lan, Dusan, and Konrad who will all be heading home soon. There's a long line of people going into the tunnel and he's the very last to enter. The only thing he has with him is his suitcase...something tells me he's not going to have enough clothes for this expedition. He runs up to somebody and asks him if they're walking uphill. The guy replies that they are because it prevents flooding. Then he adds a bombshell that Paul wasn't ready for (and thank God he found out about it now!): It's just a few hours climb before they descend to the vault and that entire walk will take eleven hours. Ugh, no thank you! </p><p>Paul looks ahead at the people who are walking towards the vault, then back at the door which is still open, about half a mile away. Two guys are about to shut the door (and once the door shuts, it will be shut for good!) and he starts booking it, yelling at them not to shut it. He barely makes it out (and has to leave his suitcase because it gets stuck) and his three friends are still waiting for him outside. </p><p>Can you imagine if he hadn't gotten that information about the eleven hour walk until one minute later? He might have not made it out in time! Also, how could he not have already known this information before he went? It seemed like this was just a spur-of-the-moment decision he made with no thought behind it whatsoever. Yeah, I'm sure the eleven hour walk didn't seem like a fun time to him, but I feel like if he really wanted to do this, he would have endured i.</p><p>They go back home and back to their lives.</p><p>This movie was interesting, but not my favorite. It gets pretty preachy at times. Honestly, if you want to watch a movie about people who become small, go see <i>Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. </i>It's much more entertaining, not to mention much shorter (I swear, that was not meant to be a pun!). Not to mention, in <i>Honey, I Shrunk the Kids</i>, you are constantly reminded that the kids are small (Anty, Rick Moranis almost eating his son who fell in his Cheerios, the entire backyard, the Lego, etc. etc.), while in <i>Downsizing</i>, I would literally forget that they're supposed to be tiny. </p>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-40893765392273341562024-02-27T14:43:00.002-06:002024-02-27T14:43:53.703-06:00Always a Bridesmaid <div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">27 Dresses</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Director: Anne Fletcher</div><div style="text-align: left;">Cast: Katherine Heigl, James Marsden, Malin Akerman, Edward Burns, Judy Greer </div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: January 18, 2008</div><div style="text-align: left;">Viewed in theaters: January 24, 2008</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/sei_51230205-0f92.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&crop=0px%2C0px%2C2500px%2C1313px&resize=1200%2C630" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="420" data-original-width="800" height="210" src="https://metro.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/sei_51230205-0f92.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&crop=0px%2C0px%2C2500px%2C1313px&resize=1200%2C630" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">This movie sort of reminded me of a weird agglomeration of <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2020/12/wedding-crasher.html">My Best Friend's Wedding</a> and <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2022/02/ready-to-run.html">Runaway Bride.</a> The former because our main character, Jane (Katherine Heigl), has to watch her sister get prepared to marry the man that she (that would be Jane) has been in love with for years and she even tries to sabotage the engagement at one point and the latter because there's a newspaper story angle to this story.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Jane absolutely loves everything about weddings. She loves being there for her friends and helping them prepare for their big day. Uh, why isn't she a wedding planner? This is literally what she was put on this earth to do, but instead she works at some company called Urban Everest that sells outdoor stuff? I'm not sure. She's the assistant for the company's boss, George (Edward Burns), who she's in love with, but he only sees her as a devoted employee and a good friend. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The beginning of the movie starts with Jane being a bridesmaid at TWO wedding in the same night, so she's taking a taxi back and forth from Manhattan to Brooklyn all night. Good Lord, when Robin Williams had to pretend to be Mrs. Doubtfire to celebrate a birthday (?...I don't remember) with his family and also be his character for a job interview with that one guy, at least he chose the same restaurant! Well, I don't think he chose it, but he just got lucky that both events were at the same restaurant. Anyway, this girl is crisscrossing across the city several times while changing her dress, shoes, and accessories each time. She hires a taxi for the night and offers the driver $300 for the night, but that seems very low, even for 2008 money. She knocks him down to $140 because he kept looking in his rearview mirror when she was in the backseat changing. While I'm sure he snuck looks when he wasn't supposed to, he is a taxi driver and does need to look in the rearview mirror to do his job. He would have made a lot more money by not being her chauffeur that night! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">At one of the weddings she's at, she catches the eye of a guest named Kevin (James Marsden) who notices that she's looking at her watch while she's standing besides the bride. Later, he will see her get in the cab and start changing. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.ocregister.com/wp-content/uploads/migration/kpj/kpjw2e-16dresseslg.jpg?w=535" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="352" data-original-width="535" height="132" src="https://www.ocregister.com/wp-content/uploads/migration/kpj/kpjw2e-16dresseslg.jpg?w=535" width="200" /></a></div>When she's back at the same wedding as Kevin, she gets knocked over when she's trying to catch the bouquet and another girl bumps into her and Jane hits her head on the floor. Kevin helps her and this is their "meet cute." He helps her to her cab and rides with her to her home. There's really no reason for him to ride with her except to advance the plot. Having a guy share a taxi with you to your home after you've just met him after hurting you head seems like a very idea but maybe that's just because I listen to too many true crime podcasts! After they introduce themselves to each other and Kevin mentions that he's a writer, he tells her that he saw her changing in the cab and knows she was at another wedding that night. She says two of her good friends happened to get married on the same day and she loves wedding. (She really must love weddings to have to go through all that! I think you just need to choose one wedding to attend and just buy an extra nice gift for the one you missed.) He asks her, "Which part? The forced merriment, the horrible music, or the bad food?" I'm going to hazard a guess that Kevin does not feel the same about weddings as Jane does! Obviously, Jane is not impressed with his disdain for weddings. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">After Jane is dropped off at her apartment and the taxi drives off with Kevin, he sees something on the floor and it's Jane's day planner. Actually, she'll refer to it as her FiloFax later on, a word I was not familiar with. I guess that's a brand name? <a href="https://us.filofax.com/collections/all-organizers">I will say they do look pretty nice and I kind of want one now even though I would probably never use it!</a> He's about to tell the driver to turn back, but changes his mind. </div><p>At Jane's place, we get a quick glance of the coat closet that holds all of her bridesmaids dresses. Since there are so many of them and a few of them have pouffy skirts, it's almost impossible for her to shut the double doors. There are several hooks on the inside of the doors that hold purses and hats. Her idea of unwinding after a big day is sitting down and reading <i>The New York Journal</i>'s "Commitments" section, which is articles about people getting married written by a Malcolm Doyle. The wedding-obsessed Jane loves reading about couples' upcoming nuptials and how they met. </p><p>Well, guess what? The next day we see that Kevin works at <i>The New York Journal</i>. (Do you think it's a mix between <i>The New York Times</i> and <i>The Wall Street Journal</i>? Because if you do, you would be totally wrong.) He's Malcolm Doyle. He's the one that writes the romantic and heartfelt stories that Jane loves so much. I do appreciate that the movie doesn't make this some stupid "twist" for the audience to find out later; they tell you who he is in the scene after we see Jane reading that section of the paper. Now, she won't find out for awhile, but for now, the audience knows who he is. Kevin tells his boss he's got a great idea for a story and is hoping it will get him out of writing for the Commitments section because he hates it and wants to be writing "real" stories. His boss agrees and tells him he has one chance to write a story that will impress her. </p><p>At Jane's job, she sees there are a basket of flowers on her desk with no note. She thinks they might be from George. Everyone she works with knows she has it bad for him. Everyone but George that is. </p><p>One of Jane's co-workers/friends, Casey, is played by Judy Greer, and I admit, when I first saw her, I immediately recognized her but I couldn't think of her name! I did eventually remember it a few minutes later, but it made me think of this commercial she was in about a year ago, you know the one where she goes, "What is my name?" I'm sorry that I almost forgot your name, Judy Greer!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ise03BYD2ZE" width="320" youtube-src-id="Ise03BYD2ZE"></iframe></div><p>Jane's beautiful younger sister, Tess (Malin Ackerman), comes to visit. She's been living in Italy for the past six months where she designs handbags...I think? I'm not sure. All I know she's involved in the fashion industry because she mentions that "the fall fashion shows are done." She's staying with Jane and calls her apartment "tiny and cute" and there's no way that apartment would be considered "tiny" for NYC! </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://media1.popsugar-assets.com/files/thumbor/mLsZtG0ZVdYUwWNw3SIoce8EC34/fit-in/2048xorig/filters:format_auto-!!-:strip_icc-!!-/2022/01/14/237/n/46712211/15bdd05f08099493_27_dresses/i/27-Dresses.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="531" data-original-width="800" height="133" src="https://media1.popsugar-assets.com/files/thumbor/mLsZtG0ZVdYUwWNw3SIoce8EC34/fit-in/2048xorig/filters:format_auto-!!-:strip_icc-!!-/2022/01/14/237/n/46712211/15bdd05f08099493_27_dresses/i/27-Dresses.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>One of Jane's co-workers (played by Krysten Ritter) is having an engagement party and Jane invites her sister (oh, she's going to regret that), but Tess tells her she's meeting friends, but she might show up later. <p></p><p>At the party, George asks Jane if she got "that thing" he left on her desk that morning and she gets excited, thinking he's talking about the flowers, but later, she'll realize he was referring to a dry cleaning slip he left on her desk. Ouch. To make matters worse, her beautiful sister with her beautiful blonde hair (damn that Malin Ackerman and her Swedish-born beauty!) comes sauntering in the room in a beautiful dress and catches the eye of George. These guys hit it off fast and I mean fast. Jane sees it happening right in front of her and she is devastated, but she doesn't let it show. It gets even worse when Kevin shows up (since he had her FiloFax, he knew about the engagement party) and asks Jane if she got the flowers. Yeah, I knew they were from him. He returns her FiloFax to her. </p><p>Tess and George go out for drinks and Jane starts cleaning her kitchen at three in the morning because her sister still isn't back yet. When Tess comes back, she barely even notices that her sister is cleaning at an ungodly hour and instead asks her if she thinks it's weird that she went out with her boss and Jane says no even though the way she's acting, she's obviously not okay with it. But her sister is oblivious (her head is in the clouds) and tells her she and George are having lunch tomorrow.</p><p>Tess wants to know all about George, so Jane tells her that he dropped out of college and "climbed every peak in the world" which makes sense since he "would rather spend all his time outside than anywhere else." He started his business, Urban Everest, from his apartment and turned it into "one of the most eco-friendly, philanthropic businesses in the world." I still have no idea what exactly the business sells or does, but I'm going to say it sells outdoor camping equipment. He also has a dog that he loves more than anything and doesn't eat red meat. Tess is all dreamy, commenting about how he sounds amazing, but Jane is quick to point out that he also has flaws and cites him hating cashews as one. The hell? How is that a flaw? Another "flaw" is that he doesn't wear socks with sneakers, which is a bit odd, but again, who cares. Tess even points out that those aren't flaws.</p><p>They have breakfast with their dad the next morning (I should mention their mother died when they were both younger) and he asks Tess how long she's in town. Jane confirms with her that it's only two weeks, but Tess says "It depends on how a few things pan out." This has Jane a little freaked out and at work, she's in a very bad mood because Tess is also there, flirting with George (who called her that morning) and when Jane flips through her FiloFax, she is annoyed that Kevin has written his name and number in several pages of it. </p><p>George has a "little brother" who he's a Big Brother for named Pedro, who's probably eleven or twelve. When he introduces him to Tess, she says "Hola, Pedro" in a really loud voce even though he literally just spoke English seconds before. George tells Jane that he and Tess are taking Pedro to his baseball game and invites her to join them. She refuses at first, but he insists that she join them, joking that her boss is a jerk. </p><p>At the concession stand, George orders some Cokes and fries and asks them if they want anything else. Jane says she wants a chili dog and asks Tess if she wants one too. Tess says no, replying that she's recently become a vegetarian (probably when she found out George was one!) Of course, this prompts George to tell her that he's a vegetarian too. Tess tells him that every time she goes hiking, she brings her own "homemade tofurky jerky". While all this is going on, Jane is making a WTF face. Probably because she knows her sister isn't a vegetarian and doesn't like the outdoors. George tells her that she doesn't seem like "the kind of girl that hits the trails" and I get it because she wears heels and always has her hair and make up done and is usually wearing outfits that aren't exactly for the great outdoors. She tells him that she loves "all the outdoorsy type of stuff" and I laughed when when she said "like hiking an biking and climbing...up things." </p><p>We next get a montage of George and Tess getting closer and Jane having to witness all of it. One evening, before leaving work, Jane notices that George forgot his wallet (it's on his desk under a bunch of papers) and she looks at his schedule and sees he's at a restaurant. She takes a taxi there and when she walks in, there's roses on a table and two waiters lift up a sign that says "Will you marry me?" George comes out and tells them to put the sign down because "she's not the one." Ouch! Then Tess walks in at that moment and the sign goes back up and George's dog comes out with the ring box around its neck and George starts to propose. Jane is trying to get the hell out of there (I don't blame her!), but a band comes out and starts playing and they're blocking her path. It's all so awkward. Even if Jane didn't have feelings for George, it would still be incredibly awkward as she's sort of unwillingly become part of this proposal. You would think George would thank her for bringing his wallet, then wait for her to leave before he started his proposal to Tess. The restaurant appears to be empty, so he must have rented it out for the evening. </p><p>Things start happening pretty fast. Tess tells Jane that Malcolm Doyle (and we all know who he really is!) wants to do a Commitments column on her and George. We also find out they're getting married in three weeks! This seems insane because that's probably the amount of time they've known each other, if that! This is because Tess wants to get married at the Boathouse in Central Park because that's where her and Jane's parents got married. She had called several times and there was no availability for eighteen months, but on the ninth time she called, she got lucky because there was a cancellation hence the reason the wedding is in three weeks. </p><p>While Jane is with the newly engaged couple to order a cake at a bakery, Kevin comes in and Jane asks what he's doing there. He introduces himself to the couple as Malcolm Doyle and Jane is surprised (but not the audience!) She is super mortified when Tess introduces her (Jane) to Malcolm and tells him she's "obsessed" with his stories and that she's his "number one fan." When asked why he said his name was Kevin, he tells her that is his name and he uses Malcolm for the byline so he doesn't "get stalked by the crazy brides." Jane is not happy because he's been lying to her this whole time. She takes him aside to tell him this; he replies that he told her he was a writer but didn't tell her what he wrote. Jane doesn't understand because he writes "the most beautiful things." She asks him, "Do you actually believer in love and marriage and just pretend to be a cynic, or are you actually a cynic who knows how to spin romantic crap for girls like me." He tells it's the latter which probably just enrages her even more! </p><p>Later, Kevin comes over to Jane's place and tells her he has to interview the friends and family of the engaged couple. (You would think he call to make this appointment or ask her to set up a time for an interview when he saw her at the bakery). Jane isn't too thrilled to talk to him, but agrees to do it for her sister. When he asks how she feels about Tess's "whirlwind romance", she tells him she couldn't be happier. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://cache.moviestillsdb.com/i/500x/qsl8ldzi/27-dresses-lg.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="398" data-original-width="600" height="133" src="https://cache.moviestillsdb.com/i/500x/qsl8ldzi/27-dresses-lg.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>It doesn't take long before he sees the closet full of her bridesmaid dresses. (Well, it's not that hard since the doors won't stay shut!) He is flabbergasted that she kept them all and when asked why (something I'm sure every viewer was wondering), she replies, "I have a lot of friends and I like to keep them." WTF? This makes no sense. I'm sure she has pictures of her in these dresses next to the bride; isn't that enough for her? Why is she keeping all these dresses (many she'll never wear again) in a pretty good-sized closet where she would keep other, more practical things like coats and shoes and boots and umbrellas and cold-weather gear. Hell, she could even keep a vacuum in there if she wanted! Why not give them to a consignment shop? That's what my mom did after I wore the dress the one time I was a bridesmaid. Holding on to all of these dresses is just weird and unhealthy and does Jane have a therapist? Because maybe she needs one. Now, if she had been a bridesmaid only once, maybe twice, even three times, I wouldn't really blink about her keeping her dresses, but twenty-seven? TWENTY F***ING SEVEN dresses? The hell? (Well, technically I guess it's 26 because the 27th will come in play later).<p></p><p>Kevin sarcastically tells her it makes sense she would want to keep all of them because they're so beautiful. She replies that they're not that bad and he wants to see one that's "not that bad". She picks out an olive green dress which he thinks the color is "vomit". She says the bride told her it would look good on anyone and into his recorder (in front of her, no less!), he states that she's "slightly delusional and will believe anything anybody tells her." She tells him she's going to show him he's wrong and goes to her bridegroom to change into the dress.</p><p>While she's gone he snaps a few photos of all the dresses in the closet and takes one of her when she comes back. He admit the dress itself isn't that bad, but thinks the color is still awful. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://people.com/thmb/LS0FgPuU33tYKhlyP3TNqtW-T_4=/1500x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():focal(663x0:665x2)/katherine-heigl-2-1-2000-be75aa66763a4a8383307fe25d922b55.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="531" height="200" src="https://people.com/thmb/LS0FgPuU33tYKhlyP3TNqtW-T_4=/1500x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():focal(663x0:665x2)/katherine-heigl-2-1-2000-be75aa66763a4a8383307fe25d922b55.jpg" width="133" /></a></div>Guess what happens next? Of course it's a montage of Jane in all the dresses! At first, I was going to do something insane and count all the dresses to see if there were indeed twenty-seven (or twenty-six) and I was even going to take notes on some of the dresses, but then I realized, I bet someone already did that for me. <a href="https://www.buzzfeed.com/jennaguillaume/dresses-from-27-dresses-ranked">And I was right.</a> Some dresses are worse than others and some are just god awful. They must have had Katherine Heigl try on all the dresses and take pictures of her in them because you see Kevin going through his camera and see all the pictures of her in the different dresses. We also see some flashbacks of her at the weddings, mostly theme weddings like where she's riding a horse in a cowgirl getup or underwater in scuba gear. Who the hell gets married underwater? I mean, besides a mermaid? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://s3.amazonaws.com/thetech-production/images/web_photos/web/823_27dresses.jpg?1460732751" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="446" height="200" src="https://s3.amazonaws.com/thetech-production/images/web_photos/web/823_27dresses.jpg?1460732751" width="178" /></a></div><p></p><p>Jane has a lot of fun trying on all the dresses. She tells Kevin she doesn't mind wearing the dresses because she knows it means a lot to the bride and she wants to make her friends happy and she knows when it's her big day, they'll be there for her too. Hmm, could this be foreshadowing? (Yes, it totally is.)</p><p>Kevin's boss asks him how his article is going and he tells her he's still working on it. She reads what he has so far and likes it and wants to run it next Sunday on the front page of the section. He wants to hold it a week because he's not quite done with it and tells his boss that Jane is more than "a perpetual bridesmaid" and that "there's a lot more to her than that." He asks for another week and his boss agrees. </p><p>A few things are revealed in the next couple of scenes. We find out that Kevin is cynical about marriage because he was once married and his wife left him for his college roommate. Actually, Jane randomly guesses that for the reason why he hates marriage and turns out she was right! We really don't get too much about this backstory. </p><p>Also, Kevin finds out that Jane is in love with her sister's fiancé. Jane is meeting George to go over the menu and Kevin needs to talk to Jane about something and he finds out where she is, so he sees her chatting and laughing with George. I don't know if I would surmise that she's in love with him just because they're enjoying each other's company, but whatever, I guess they need it for the sake of the plot. Before Kevin had arrived and interrupted them, George was telling Jane how much he admires Tess because "she's not afraid to be herself" which we all know is a lie! You can tell Jane wants to tell him that everything Tess has told him is pretty much a lie (she's not a vegetarian, she's not a dog person, and she's not a girl who loves the outdoors!), but she just tells him that she's happy that he and Tess found each other. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://hellogiggles.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/7/2019/02/08/katherine-heigl-e1549648309605.jpg?quality=82&strip=all" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="420" data-original-width="800" height="105" src="https://hellogiggles.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/7/2019/02/08/katherine-heigl-e1549648309605.jpg?quality=82&strip=all" width="200" /></a></div>After Kevin shows up, he offers to go with Jane to pick up linens or something. George was supposed to go, but he's gotta meet his parents and yada, yada, yada, they movie just needs an excuse for Jane and Kevin to be in the same car together and that's how they got there. While they're driving, a heavy rainstorm has started. Kevin is goading her about George and tells her he knew she had a thing for her sister's fiancé "the second I saw you mooning over him over polenta." Jane denies this, but he keeps egging her on and she gets angry and soon the car runs off the road and spins around and falls into a muddy ditch by a tree. They're unharmed but there's no way they'll be able to get the car out of the ditch. Then end up at a karaoke bar where they have a drink (and maybe a few more) and start dancing on the bar while singing "Benny and the Jets." After they get down from the bar, Kevin admits to her that he "cried like a baby during the Keller wedding" and this makes Jane passionately kiss him. Earlier at the bar, while having their first drink, she was quizzing him on the articles he wrote about the couples he interviewed and he tells her he didn't remember that particular one. They end up making out, then return to the car where they have sex. Okay, ten bucks says he didn't cry at all during that wedding, but just told her because he knew it would score points with her. Yes, maybe I really just am that cynical! <p></p><p>The next morning they grab breakfast at a diner while they wait for a tow truck to get the car. Some guy comes up to them and remembers them as "Benny and the Jets" from the night before. The waitress pours their coffee and tells Jane, "You're that girl." Jane thinks the's referring to the karaoke bar, but she's actually referring to seeing her in the paper as Kevin's article has come out one week earlier then he expected. Guess his boss didn't listen to him after all! It's a full page article with many pictures (if not all!) of Jane and her many bridesmaid dresses. The caption reads "Always, Always, Always a Bridesmaid." Kevin tries to explain he told his editor not to run it and that nobody reads that section anyway. Jane is pissed and walks away, but not before slapping him. When she comes home, Tess is there and she's also read the article. She's furious because Kevin wrote, "If Jane is the prototypical accommodating bridesmaid, than her sister, Tess, is cast as the overbearing, overindulged bride-to-be, who at any moment one worries might start stomping around Manhattan, berating fire and swatting planes from the sky." Hmm, have we seen any evidence of this? Tess may be a bit high-maintenance, but I wouldn't compare her to a Bridezilla. </p><p>Kevin tries to call Jane many times to apologize, but she won't answer his calls. Not only is Jane angry at him, but she's also angry at her sister when she finds out that, in a very <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2019/04/threes-crowd.html">Pretty in Pink</a> move, she has cut up their mother's dress (which her father said she could wear) and used parts of it in her new, more modern dress. Jane is furious that she did that and goes off on her, telling her that she's going to have to tell George the truth about her. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/01/11/20/66370831-11607915-image-m-71_1673469752135.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="438" data-original-width="634" height="138" src="https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/01/11/20/66370831-11607915-image-m-71_1673469752135.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>It just so happens that the couple's engagement party is that night and Jane had the responsibility of creating the slideshow. Tess had given her a script to read during it and wants to make sure that Jane reads it word for word and Jane promises her she will. Tess must think very highly of herself as this is the opening line she wrote for her sister to read: "Tess and George are a perfect couple. No, a divine couple. A couple whose love is the stuff of myths. Their compatibility is so exact that is can only be described as having been designed by the gods." <p></p><p>Jane is true to her word and reads what Tess wrote to her, but she has picked photos of her sister that aren't the most flattering. Not that she doesn't look good in them, but while the photos of George show him volunteering at a soup kitchen or visiting the UN, the pictures of Tess are of her flirting with boys or wearing a bikini for a car wash or stuffing her face with barbecue ribs. </p><p>Jane ends with the words Tess wrote for her to read: "And today Tess and George still share the same values. Their love is based on a deep understanding and acceptance of who the other person really is."</p><p>Things get worse when Casey tries to clear this awkward moment by shooing Jane away and inviting Pedro up to say a few words. He mentions how great George is as his Big Brother and how happy he is that George has Tess who he calls "really cool" because she's going to help him "start [his] own cleaning business." In an earlier scene, Jane had gone to George's apartment where her sister was staying. George was gone for the day and when Jane comes over, she hears a vacuum, and then sees Pedro vacuuming. Tess tells Jane that she's paying him to clean the apartment, but wants to keep it a secret. Guess Pedro was so excited about his new business that he couldn't keep his mouth shut! Boy, George was not happy about that! I think he (maybe) could have forgiven Tess for lying about being a vegetarian, but her exploiting Pedro like that definitely wasn't a good look. </p><p>To no one's surprise, the wedding is off and when Tess tells this to Jane, she adds, "I hope you're happy." (For the record, she isn't, but let's be real, I bet she's a little relieved that her younger sister isn't marrying her boss). Jane goes outside, upset, and Kevin is there to apologize since she won't answer his calls. He apologizes and says he wanted to be there for her because he knew this night was gonna be rough for her and tells her he thinks she "deserves to be taken care of for a change." It's a sincere apology and he also gifts her with a Blackberry. He tells her it's "so [she] doesn't have to carry around the crazy FiloFax from 1987." Considering you can still buy FiloFaxes in 2024, I very much doubt hers is from '87! Also, maybe she preferred to carry it around and it's just easier for her to write things down then type it down. I get he meant well, but he shouldn't have just assumed she would have wanted a new phone. </p><p>The sisters talk and Tess tells Jane that she stayed in New York because she was fired from her job (still not exactly sure what she did) and her Italian boyfriend dumped her. As she tells Jane, when she met George, he was nice to her and treated her well and she "wanted to be someone that he wanted"; she "was trying to be someone who deserved him, someone he could respect." She basically tells Jane she was trying to be her. </p><p>Later that day, Jane gets a call from George who asks her to be his date to some benefit thing (since he no longer has a significant other in his life!) that really doesn't matter. This scene is just so she can apologize to him for what she did during the slide show. It's also so she can quit her job and confess that the only reason she stayed was because she was in love with him. They end up kissing (twice) and realize neither of them feels sparks for the other. Can you imagine kissing someone that you liked and they didn't feel anything for you? Ouch. But luckily, these two kids' feelings are mutual. I did't like this scene. I get why Jane quits, but I don't know why we need to see them kiss. I guess this is just to show the audience that these two aren't meant for each other. Well, duh. It just seems so unnecessary when we know she's going to end up with Kevin, if anyone. </p><p>Speaking of which...they get together and one year passes and the movie ends with their wedding. I've heard some people on podcast reviews of this movie complain that it doesn't make sense that the anti-marriage Kevin would want to get married. Well, he was burned by his first wife, but then he met Jane and his views on love and marriage changed. That's the story I'm going with anyway. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.thestatesman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/27-dresses.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="447" data-original-width="800" height="112" src="https://www.thestatesman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/27-dresses.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>The 27th dress is Jane's wedding dress. Remember when I said it was foreshadowing when Jane told Kevin that her friends would there for her big day just like she was there for theirs? Well, we see Tess and Casey as her bridesmaids in strapless pale yellow dresses, then the camera pans out and we see a line of women wearing all of her bridesmaid dresses. I assume they're all the brides of which the original bridesmaid dress was worn at their wedding and now Jane is <strike>getting back at them for making her wear these horrendous dresses </strike>returning the favor and letting them be in her wedding. After they show Tess and Casey, we see Krysten Ritter and she's wearing the black goth dress with the spiky collar which is the dress Jane wore when she was a bridesmaid for her wedding. <p></p><p>I am a little confused by a couple of things:</p><p>1. I Googled a still shot of this scene and counted the bridesmaid dresses. There are 27, not counting Tess's and Casey's. I thought Jane's wedding dress was supposed to be the 27th so shouldn't there only be 26 women modeling 26 dresses? I looked at two rankings of the 27 dresses and both of them had Jane's wedding dress as #1 so they're counting the wedding dress as one of the titular 27 dresses. I suppose if I took the time, I could look at the photo and see which dress wasn't part of the ranking, but, yeah, I'm not gonna do that. </p><p>2. After Jane quits her job and before she reconciles with and starts dating Kevin, we see her clean out her closet and throw away her dresses! At least, I assume she threw them away because she's stuffed them into several trash bags. I guess she could have given them to a consignment shop, but I would think she would put them in garment bags if she did that. So if she threw them out, how did these women wear her dresses? Did they have to go out and buy a replica of them? Did she go digging through the trash? (I highly doubt that!) Or did the movie just forget that scene or just not care? </p>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-44207601407195913632024-02-14T10:32:00.016-06:002024-02-14T18:16:30.887-06:00Love Stories <div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Valentine's Day</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Director: Garry Marshall</div><div style="text-align: left;">Cast: Ashton Kutcher, Jennifer Garner, Julia Roberts, Jamie Foxx, Anne Hathaway, Hector Elizondo, Shirley McClaine, and a million other people</div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: February 10, 2010</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi7RatM_zbVSPxZU_UF84FF-xYbaHHEAv4tgqj9-aXCftPVx7bgDiDQUZkymemMcNqVM1ucGdqesggadLuPFfwGrDsXzODomw_iXfmQI5HLhQ1GrW-lVn87JJ8oUeB2BoRbe7prKPI7AJZP2QzAVJWpThamk1OJmIXj9z_LlVdzrdaK1cXnBMkjMW6J0GI" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="526" data-original-width="936" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi7RatM_zbVSPxZU_UF84FF-xYbaHHEAv4tgqj9-aXCftPVx7bgDiDQUZkymemMcNqVM1ucGdqesggadLuPFfwGrDsXzODomw_iXfmQI5HLhQ1GrW-lVn87JJ8oUeB2BoRbe7prKPI7AJZP2QzAVJWpThamk1OJmIXj9z_LlVdzrdaK1cXnBMkjMW6J0GI=w400-h225" width="400" /></a></div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">When I start watching a movie, the first thing I usually do is check to see how long it is and this one is a little over two hours. At first, I was surprised (and a little annoyed, ha!) because why would some romcom be over two hours long, but then I remembered that half of Hollywood is in this movie and there are a billion little storylines, so that quickly explained that. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I feel like Garry Marshall watched <i>Love, Actually</i> (which would have come out 7 years prior) and wanted to do that except have it set in L.A on Valentine's Day. There's even a plot line that's sorta similar to one in <i>Love, Actually</i>, but I'll explain more when I get there. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">It's clear Garry picked up the phone to call many of his favorite people to work with: Julia Roberts from <i>Pretty Woman</i> and <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2022/02/ready-to-run.html">Runaway Bride</a>, Anne Hathaway from <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2018/07/teen-royalty.html">The Princess Diaries</a>, Hector Elizondo from pretty much everything he's directed, and Patrick Dempsey and Eric Dane from the one episode of <i>Grey's Anatomy </i>he directed. Just kidding. He never directed an episode of <i>Grey's Anatomy</i>, but I did have to double check to see if he did or not since two actors from that show are in this movie! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">As you can imagine, some of the storylines collide with each other. There are at least two, maybe three (hell, perhaps even four) storylines that could have easily been cut and it wouldn't have affected the movie at all, but I'll tell you about those later. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">It's Valentine's Day morning and Reed (Ashton Kutcher) has just proposed to his girlfriend, Morley (Jessica Alba) and she says yes. (By the way, I had to look up pretty much everyone's characters name because I only remembered a couple of their names in the movie!) Reed sells flowers and obviously this is a big day for his business and he's got his friend and co-worker, Alphonso (George Lopez) to help him on this big day. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Reed is friends with Julia (Jennifer Garner) and she has recently started dating a cardiothoracic surgeon named Dr. Derek Sheperd, oops, I mean Dr. Harrison Copeland (Patrick Dempsey - actually, Dr. Shepard was a neurosurgeon, wasn't he?) Haha, I wonder if they call him Dr. McDreamy at his hospital? Julia is so in love with him and basically has hearts for eyes. Unfortunately, he can't spend the day with her because he has to go to San Francisco for something work related. Later, we'll see him call Julia from his car, telling her he's just gotten to the airport, but in actuality, he's pulling into the driveway of a nice house. My first thought was, OMG! He's married! and not five seconds later we see him take a ring out of his pocket and slide it onto his finger. What a jerk! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Julia goes to see Reed and she's a little surprised that Morley said yes to his proposal, but is happy for him. When she tells him her new flame will be in San Francisco for the day (so she thinks!), he suggests that she go up there and surprise him. Boy, he's going to regret suggesting that when Dr. Copeland will stop by his flower shop in a few hours to buy two arrangement for his two ladies. Before he gives his credit card to Reed, he asks if he can be discreet about this. He agrees, but then when he recognizes his name on the card, he clarifies that Julia Fitzpatrick is his girlfriend and Pamela Copeland is his wife since she has the same last name as him. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">He's having a huge dilemma of whether he should tell Julia or not that her boyfriend is married. He asks Alphonso what he would do and Alphonso asks him what HE would do if the roles were reversed. Reed knows he needs to tell Julia and he tries to when he delivers the flowers from Harrison to her, but isn't able to. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Unfortunately, Reed will get hit with his own dose of bad news when he comes home to find Morley packing a suitcase and tells him she is leaving him and can't marry him. I saw this coming a mile away because in an earlier scene he asks why she's not wearing her ring and she tells him she doesn't want people asking a bunch of questions since it's Valentine's Day and that they should keep their engagement secret for now. At the last minute, and I mean at the very last minute, he runs to the airport where Julia is waiting to board a plane. He tells her that Harrison is married, but she thinks this means he used to be married and is still being stubborn. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">We see that Julia did not get on the plane, but instead went to the hospital where Dr. Copeland works and asks a nurse if he's working tonight and she says no. She then asks if he's married and the woman confirms he is and he and his wife just celebrated their 15th wedding anniversary. An older nurse comes over to Julia and whispers to her what restaurant he'll be at tonight and what time. It just so happen that one of Julia's students' (she's an elementary school teacher) dad is a maitre'd at that restaurant (or maybe he owns the place, hell, I don't know), so she is able to pretend to be a waitress for Harrison and his wife. At first, he's not paying attention as he's looking at the menu and talking to his wife as Julia pours them water, but when she announces she'll be their waitress, he chokes on his water. She tells them one of their specials is called "the lying, stinking pig." The wife is not getting the clue and is amused by this special and asks how it's made and Julia goes into gruesome detail (and some fast thinking for being put on the spot; guess she got the training when she was a spy in the CIA, haha) about what the chef does to its scrotum and heart. The wife says she'll go with the salmon, but Harrison stutters that he's not hungry. Surely, the wife had some suspicion. Oh, well, I suppose if she did, she decided to wait until they got home before she went off on him. This scene reminded me of the one in <i>Adventures in Baby-Sitting </i>when Elisabeth Shue sees Bradley Whitford with some girl in a restaurant when he told her he couldn't go out because his sister was sick and when she goes in to confront him she overhears him say to the girl, "Girls like you only come around once in a lifetime" which is a line he told Elisabeth and she's like, "Or twice in the same night." </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Julia thanks her student's dad and picks up some carry out she's taking to a party and tells him to charge it to her "friend over there." He says he figured and tells her he also added some extra lobster tails and cheesecake, heh.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So now Reed's (one day) fiancee has left him and Julia's boyfriend is married. Guess who gets together? They find out they were meant for each other all along! How sweet! Okay, so that wraps up their storylines (for the most part), who's next? </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Like I said, Julia is an elementary school teacher (fourth or fifth grade) and one of her students is a boy named Edison. His grandparents are Edgar (Hector Elizondo) and Estelle (Shirley McClain). This is the storyline that (sort of) reminded me of <i>Love, Actually</i> when Liam Neeson's son tells him he's in love with a girl in his class. Edison tells his grandfather he wants to send flowers to his Valentine and we see him trying to order a bouquet of roses at Reed's shop even though he doesn't have enough money. I think we're supposed to think he has a crush on this girl in his class, Rani, an Indian girl who's also a good friend of his and they both play soccer together. Another one of their teammates calls her his girlfriend to Edison's face, but he denies it. But when Julia (Ms. Fitzpatrick to her students) is telling her students the history of Valentine's Day, he's the only one paying attention so I knew that he had a crush on his teacher. For some reason, his flowers aren't delivered to the school (probably because he didn't have enough money!), so he has to make it his mission to make sure his Valentine gets her flowers THAT day. He finds out from Rani that she has to work at her family's restaurant that night (and keep in mind this girl is ten) because they're hosting two parties: a wedding reception and an "I Hate Valentine's Day" party that Ms. Fitzpatrick will be attending because her friend Kara is hosting. Okay, let's put a pin in this story (there's not too much left to tell, but I need to introduce some other characters before I wrap it up. This movie's kind of a pain to try to summarize!) </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi1HzfakhT7TQwvamvjN3hfY65SEfwD0tb_Z2b8PIcGSXGo5cnAkzq9gbCIgVLLu0lrprzoqDAV1jpOpAKceHfjjRxw3Mtxuk89cXCeRFwXt9mefb4T40uFtWlm7O99NiGMdPT5NwylLKjOrW54kmUWL5qtb46GY4EFnaUErSR8BM19ZayXW5TssRs6Brg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="666" data-original-width="1000" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi1HzfakhT7TQwvamvjN3hfY65SEfwD0tb_Z2b8PIcGSXGo5cnAkzq9gbCIgVLLu0lrprzoqDAV1jpOpAKceHfjjRxw3Mtxuk89cXCeRFwXt9mefb4T40uFtWlm7O99NiGMdPT5NwylLKjOrW54kmUWL5qtb46GY4EFnaUErSR8BM19ZayXW5TssRs6Brg=w200-h133" width="200" /></a></div>In a movie about love and Valentine's Day, we at least need one anti-Valentine's Day person and that is Kara (Jessica Biel) who hosts an annual "I Hate Valentine's Day" party. She is upset because nobody has RSVPed to her party, but don't worry, she ends up having a nice gathering. Julia is the first to arrive. At first she wasn't going to attend because she had planned to be in San Francisco surprising her boyfriend, but we all know how that turned out! There's a heart-shaped piñata and Julia takes a bat and just beats the crap out of it. Before she smashes the piñata, she twirls the bat around in her hand and it's very <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/search?q=alias">Sydney Bristow.</a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Kara is a publicist for an "aging" (he's 35) football player named Sean Jackson (Eric Dane) who's thinking about retiring because he wants more out of life. He wants to call a press conference and everyone thinks he's going to announce his retirement. His agent is played by Queen Latifah and she has one amusing moment where she's getting a massage and when it turns out that Sean's big announcement is that he's gay (but he's still going to continue to play), she looks up and says, "I knew it!" </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.virtual-history.com/movie/photo/pr06/large/valentines_day25.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="534" data-original-width="800" height="134" src="https://www.virtual-history.com/movie/photo/pr06/large/valentines_day25.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>But let's back up (again) and introduce another character. Kelvin (Jamie Foxx) is a sports journalist, but his producer, Susan (Kathy Bates), wants him to do a lifestyle piece (because it's a slow sports day, but this was before Sean Jackson announced he was holding a press conference) and ask people on the street "what does Valentine's Day mean to you?" Kelvin isn't thrilled about this because he wants to be taken seriously as a sports journalist and he's not a fan of Valentine's Day. (Guess who he ends up with?) I did laugh at his reply about Valentine's Day not even being a real holiday because they don't get the day off. I totally agree with him. If you don't get time and a half for woking on a holiday it's not a real holiday! When he hears that Sean Jackson (I have no idea why I keep calling him by his first and last name, maybe because that's how they referred to him in the movie) is announcing a press conference, he goes to Kara's office to ask is he can ask Sean one camera on question. Kara is in her office, stuffing chocolate in her mouth, a little unhinged, and asks him if she's the only person who's alone on Valentine's Day and tells him how her best friend is candy and the only relationship she has is with her Blackberry. (Haha, this movie is so dated). Now I don't know if this is the first time these two have met, but it's super cringe and she breaks down and he's trying to comfort her. Anyway, he is able to get his question for Sean Jackson and he ends up coming to Kara's party (because he hates Valentine's Day too!). They share a kiss at the end of the movie and I guess they end up together. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTLpTx0IU1miT05UVSfHmcIG6Ywj7VFzKUCUA&s" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="194" data-original-width="259" height="149" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTLpTx0IU1miT05UVSfHmcIG6Ywj7VFzKUCUA&s" width="200" /></a></div>We get a storyline set on an airplane where U.S. army captain Kate (Julia Roberts) is sitting next to a well-dressed man named Holden (Bradley Cooper). They strike up a conversation and we learn that Kate is on a one-day leave. Holden tells her he thinks it's a romantic gesture what she's doing since she's taking a fourteen hour flight just to be home for one day, then turn around the next day and take another fourteen hour flight back and mentions the guys she's going to see is a lucky man. Okay, right away I knew she wasn't going home to see a husband or a boyfriend or any kind of romantic partner. I knew that Edison was her son and he was who she was going home to see. I knew this because when Edison is playing soccer we see him looking at the moms cheering on their kids and he looks really sad. I thought it was weird that she never corrected him and told him she had a son and was going home to see him. I guess it's because they wanted it to be a surprise for the audience. Well, you're not fooling me, Garry Marshall! It is a sweet moment when she comes home and hugs her son and I may or may not have had something in my eyes during that scene. We also find out that Holden is in a relationship with Sean Jackson. So I guess they were in a relationship, but it wasn't public since Sean wasn't officially out? </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Okay, let's go back to Edison for a second. For some reason, he has a baby-sitter even though he has two able-bodied grandparents who are able to take care of. Grace (Emma Roberts) is a high school senior who watches him after school. I would understand if the grandparents weren't home to watch him, but there's a scene of her at their house and she's talking to them. If the grandparents are home, why do they need a baby-sitter? Okay, this scene will come into play later so I get why it's there. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Let's talk about Grace's (very cringey) storyline. That morning, her teacher asks her if she can help with a "test-prep group for the class" after school, but Grace tells her she has to baby-sit. When she asks if she can do it during lunch, she tells her she can't because she plans to have sex with her boyfriend for the first time and they're going to her house during lunch break because her parents will be at work. I for sure thought she was trying to get out of helping the teacher and just said that so the teacher would be uncomfortable (which she was!) and leave it alone, but no, Grace was being serious. She even offers to help her the next day with the study group. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">During lunch break, Grace's boyfriend, Alex (Carter Jenkins, the only person in the main cast I wasn't familiar with), gets to her house first (he knows where the key is hidden; under a doormat, with an obvious hiding place like that, they're probably going to get burglarized) and heads up to her room and covers her bed in rose petals and lights a bunch of candles. It's the most cliche thing ever. Also, isn't lunch break usually only half an hour? And they have to drive home, then back to school? This all just seems very rushed and not very special or romantic. Are they just doing this today because it's Valentine's Day? I guess. Alex is an inspiring musician and has brought his guitar and starts playing it and singing a cheesy song about her. He is completely naked (ready to go, I guess!) and the guitar is strategically placed around him. In a very predictable move, we see the front door open and in walks Grace's mom! I guess she had to come home form work to get something. She can hear the music upstairs and thinks Grace is home, so she opens the door to get quite the surprise. Alex also gets quite the surprise too and falls onto Grace's bed. We get a very awkward scene where he tells his girlfriend's mom the reason he is naked because he's rehearsing for "an experimental show". (Okay, but why is he "practicing" in Grace's room?) He stands up and steps on a thorn of a rose, then backs up and crashes into one of Grace's shelves, then he bumps heads with Grace's mom. You would think the mom would tell him to get dressed, close the door, then they could discuss what he was doing. Alex wraps his jacket around his wait and grabs his guitar case and runs out of the house completely naked, but he's covered up. He runs down the block and runs into Grace who is on her way home. She stops and lets him in the car and he tells her what just happened. Boy, she must have been mortified that her mom saw her boyfriend naked in her bedroom! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So they decide to wait to have sex because reasons I don't even remember. Grace chats with Edgar and Estelle and asks them who's only been with one person and they tell her they are those people. Except lies! Because Estelle confesses to Edgar that she had an affair with his business partner many years ago. Damn, that's cold, Estelle! When he asks why she's telling him this now, she replies she wanted to tell him the truth and he tells her, "The truth makes everything else seem like a lie."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEggXgC5UA1ZkSYtIqHoIMu6gqrnsqnX6RtgMRxNEaetqrJnsFSz-CoaT4F6RdaSvuYHFoRDm8fQckoTXQ1bDOMgoUz7VKbQepIwD3zH2y3Ged2mJIAiE5YmGBAjV-DMS6X10DK_U7m8oA3tmFapDnqaGpFE4hHyE8bUPnVYwMp2EZ-oqRipMZM2jCZQZsE" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="428" data-original-width="642" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEggXgC5UA1ZkSYtIqHoIMu6gqrnsqnX6RtgMRxNEaetqrJnsFSz-CoaT4F6RdaSvuYHFoRDm8fQckoTXQ1bDOMgoUz7VKbQepIwD3zH2y3Ged2mJIAiE5YmGBAjV-DMS6X10DK_U7m8oA3tmFapDnqaGpFE4hHyE8bUPnVYwMp2EZ-oqRipMZM2jCZQZsE=w200-h133" width="200" /></a></div>There are a couple storylines that could have been deleted from the movie. One of them is the relationship between Liz (Anne Hathaway) and Jason (Topher Grace - thank goodness I have the Wikipedia cast list up because I would not have remembered their character's names!). They recently started dating and go on a dinner date. They go to this super crowded restaurant where the tables are literally right next to each other and they're sitting shoulder to shoulder with the other patrons and are across from each other and have to talk loudly to be heard. The couple next to them are leaning across the table and making out and the other couple next to them is fighting. It doesn't seem very fun or intimate. One of the moments of dialogue I genuinely laughed at is when the waiter comes over and asks them, "Would you like the four-course Sweetheart's Menu or the eight-course Eternal Love?" and Jason replies, "Whoa slow down. Is there a one-course "only been dating <br />for two weeks but it looks promising option?" Yeah, that's pretty awkward, but I think his reply was pretty good. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">During their scenes together or when Liz is at work, she has to take calls because she makes extra money on the side as a phone sex operator. It's all very PG-13 dirty talk and she talks in accents, usually Russian or Southern. She seems to have the same two clients. During the dinner date, she has to excuse herself to take one of these calls and goes outside. Jason (he doesn't know what she does on the side) goes to find her and overhears her "talking dirty" (I say it in quotes because it's pretty tame) in a Southern accent to someone who he believes is her boyfriend. This guy is really dumb...any idiot would realize what she's doing. She admits she's a phone sex operator and when he asks why she didn't tell him she says it's because she's broke and has a $100,000 student loan and no insurance. So I guess because of shame? He's such a jerk and tells her "I'm out." But why? Because she's the a phone sex operator? Because she's broke? For some reason, after he tells her that, she asks if he's going to call her, but I guess this is so he can be snarky and reply, "I'd like to say yes, but I don't know if I can afford it." He does immediately apologize for saying that, but says this is all too much for him.</div><p>So I would say this is a storyline that could be deleted, but it does merge with the Edgar and Estelle storyline. Both couples are supposed to go to a movie night in the cemetery, but the guys end up going alone and they start chatting about their forlorn love lives. Edgar and Estelle go every year on Valentine's and this is the first time he's been there without Estelle. The movie they're showing is a 1958 movie Shirely McClaine was in called <i>Hot Spell, </i>so I guess Estelle is/was an actress, but I don't know if this is supposed to be<i> Hot Spell </i>or another movie because Shirley McClaine isn't playing herself. Anyway, Estelle comes to the screening and she and Edgar make up and kiss in front of a huge crowd of people and everyone claps. Also, Jason realizes he was being a jerk to Liz and they make up and get together. </p><p>I would also say you could delete the Emma Robert and her boyfriend storyline, but it also connects to Edgar and Estelle. One storyline you could definitely delete and it wouldn't affect the movie is the Taylor Swift and Taylor Launter one. They play a dating high school couple and they're friends with Grace and Alex, but that's really only the connection they have with other characters in the movie. The Taylor Swift song "Today Was a Fairytale" is featured during the movie and at the end credits. I thought she specifically wrote it for the movie, but looking at Wikipedia (which I already had up!) she had already written it and offered it to be used in the movie. Taylor Swift has many, many amazing songs and this....is not one of them. It's very bland and generic, much like this movie! </p><p>The absolute best part of this film is the very, very end when they're showing the bloopers and the last blooper we see is Julia Roberts being driven home in a car and they go past Rodeo Drive and the driver asks her if she's ever been there and she replies she has and it was a "Big mistake, huge!" </p>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-65133016861195436692024-02-08T17:32:00.003-06:002024-02-08T17:32:56.084-06:00The Canadian and the American<div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">The Proposal</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Director: Anne Fletcher</div><div style="text-align: left;">Cast: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, Betty White, Mary Steenburgen, Craig T. Nelson, Malin Akerman</div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: June 19, 2009</div><div style="text-align: left;">Viewed in theaters: June 20, 2009</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhwMCGWKDjRgcSfC2UswfrM1gkmYLka64c7Ul6_s0_X5EhyvpBDlPUCEejwfzLR5HFuPQ_X9FSg5SQS8znWSUAVVa-dVjYqV4m-K-1geM3lxp-n8rWwD-6iVf09FCkYgY0Dhe0JB2GjiG8a1UBusBg_TqMw3OFHgTkD0GiGS5pA17hFsyegJuch-Tpbf_w" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="366" data-original-width="600" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhwMCGWKDjRgcSfC2UswfrM1gkmYLka64c7Ul6_s0_X5EhyvpBDlPUCEejwfzLR5HFuPQ_X9FSg5SQS8znWSUAVVa-dVjYqV4m-K-1geM3lxp-n8rWwD-6iVf09FCkYgY0Dhe0JB2GjiG8a1UBusBg_TqMw3OFHgTkD0GiGS5pA17hFsyegJuch-Tpbf_w=w400-h244" width="400" /></a></div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Ironically, Ryan Reynolds is not the Canadian! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">If you haven't seen this very mid romcom from 15 years ago, I will be spoiling some aspects of it. Even if you've never seen it, you can probably guess what happens at the end because it's a very cliche, very formulaic romcom. Look, we all love Sandra Bullock; we all love Ryan Reynolds; and we all love National Treasure Betty White, but this is a very underwhelming and forgettable movie. But I still want to warn about spoilers just in case. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I had seen this movie before and the only thing I remembered is that Bullock and Reynolds have to pretend to be engaged, but I couldn't remember why. I told you it was forgettable!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Margaret Tate (Bullock) is the editor-in-chief of a book publishing company in New York called Colden Books (which I read as Golden at first when I saw a sign for it) and Andrew Paxton (Reynolds) is her assistant. Margaret is very businesslike and no-nonsense and all the employees are terrified of her. They were clearly taking a page out of <i>The Devil Wears Prada</i>. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Margaret has convinced one of their writers, a recluse named Frank, to promote his book on <i>Oprah</i>. She fires an editor named Bob Spaudling because he was the one who was supposed to do convince Frank to do <i>Oprah</i>, but he never even attempted to ask him. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">She tells Andrew she's going to need his help this weekend and he tells her he was going to go home for the weekend for his grandma's 90th birthday, but tells her he can cancel it. </div><p>Margaret is called to talk to two of the head honchos who run the company. One of them asks her if she remembers when they agreed she wouldn't go to the Frankfurt Book Fair because she wasn't "allowed out of the country while [her] visa application was being processed?" She did end up going because they were going to lose one of their authors to another publishing company and she managed to stop that from happening. Because of this, they spoke to her immigration attorney and her visa application has been denied and she hasn't filled out some paperwork in time and now she's being deported back to her home country of Canada. I did laugh when she says, "Come on! It's not like I'm even an immigrant! I'm from Canada!" They tell her she can reapply, but she'll have to leave the country for at least a year. She says it won't be too bad because she can work from Toronto, but they tell her she won't be able to work for an American company. Until this is resolved, they're going to "turn operations over to Bob Spaudling". (I guess it doesn't matter that she just fired him.) This makes her irate and even they'd rather have her stay and tell her if there was "any way at all they could make this thing work, they'd be doing it." (Boy, everyone must hate Bob!) </p><p>Now, I know nothing about the immigration process and obtaining visas and all that, but are they really that concerned about a woman from Canada who has a good job with a steady income and hasn't had any trouble with the law? It seems like someone like her wouldn't be their first priority. It seems like she's been in New York for a long time (she'd have to be to have the job she has!), but why was her visa application being processed? I get the sense that the Frankfurt Book Fair was recent, so why - oh, you know what? It really doesn't matter. I get that they need this as part of the plot. Like I said before, I couldn't remember why she and Ryan Reynolds were pretending to her engaged, but as soon as this scene came on, it all made sense (in a non-sensical way!) </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEje16XumYFrxcuKdC4YBNw4An54YpZ6OWkHNv38r5X3VksNhxuTIcV7LUM36XqLQAy3QTem4KDPvMhclRlpFfpIVoHP_B0_0kkTH6daTJbsGZnFlhXQJkfnzw0wwHKcAhCc0EnQawRIV3-PFek5jIKv-fdtoyVUvRi0SkamyNQZWS1Tfrd1gwux-Er1Z5A" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEje16XumYFrxcuKdC4YBNw4An54YpZ6OWkHNv38r5X3VksNhxuTIcV7LUM36XqLQAy3QTem4KDPvMhclRlpFfpIVoHP_B0_0kkTH6daTJbsGZnFlhXQJkfnzw0wwHKcAhCc0EnQawRIV3-PFek5jIKv-fdtoyVUvRi0SkamyNQZWS1Tfrd1gwux-Er1Z5A=w200-h150" width="200" /></a></div>At that moment, Andrew pops in, telling her someone's on the phone and they need to speak to her right away, but he told her that she was "otherwise engaged." Hearing that word prompts Margaret to get an idea and you can practically see the wheel turning in her head. She motions for Andrew to come over next to her and she announces to the two men that she and Andrew are engaged. By the look on Andrew's reaction, you can tell he's surprised, but the two men seem to believe her for whatever reason. Maybe they're turning a blind eye because they did say they wanted Margaret to stay onboard. <p></p><p>I realize she just came up with this idea, but you would think she would talk to him about this BEFORE ambushing him, but I guess it's not as funny and maybe this way he feels like he's forced to go along with it. There is a funny moment when one of the men says to Margaret, "Isn't he your secretary?" (and Andrew is quick to respond "assistant", but that's not the funny part I'm talking about) and she replies, "It wouldn't be the first time one of us fell for our secretaries, Edwin" and the guy who's not Edwin looks at Edwin in surprise. </p><p>When Margaret and Andrew are back in her office, he tells her he's not going to marry her and she tells him that Bob is going to fire him once she's gone and all the time they spent together, "all the lattes, all the canceled dates, all the midnight Tampax runs, were all for nothing. All your dreams of being an editor are gone." She says the'll get a divorce after "the required allotment of time." Ryan has been Margaret's assistant for three years and his dream is to become an editor, so he agrees to help her. Of course, he's not thrilled about it, but a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. </p><p>They meet with an immigration lawyer named Mr. Gilbertson and he starts the meeting by asking them "Are you both committing fraud to avoid her deportation so she can keep her position as editor in chief at Colden Books?" It's pretty funny that he hit the nail right on the head. He does admit he got a phone tip from a man named Bob and Margaret tells him that he "is nothing but a disgruntled former employee." </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEixJfgWfGGW8cnJKQcWxaf0TWP_zMXoM4i7DKtIzlvlGVUhYoBAmb8L8CAuT1T2--_Cf-Uo4R00DGj3-T9q4bWwHH_rSYVzWpTZEKGxoJpwMOaiIVDU57wSg2r-6Zy_h1Wuv0nZO0BGPdXRRwg1r5PVM0rV3MEGLAHph0ENDGbQVIdQkUk70BzSt0dpwV8" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="397" data-original-width="600" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEixJfgWfGGW8cnJKQcWxaf0TWP_zMXoM4i7DKtIzlvlGVUhYoBAmb8L8CAuT1T2--_Cf-Uo4R00DGj3-T9q4bWwHH_rSYVzWpTZEKGxoJpwMOaiIVDU57wSg2r-6Zy_h1Wuv0nZO0BGPdXRRwg1r5PVM0rV3MEGLAHph0ENDGbQVIdQkUk70BzSt0dpwV8=w200-h133" width="200" /></a></div>He explains how the process will work: there will be a scheduled interview where he will talk to them each separately and ask them questions to see if they match, he will look at phone records, and talk to neighbors and co-workers. If their answers don't line up, Margaret will be deported "indefinitely" and Andrew will "have committed a felony punishable by a fine of $250,000 and five years in prison. To me, this is not worth doing! Margaret only has to go to Canada for a year; it's not like she's being deported to Afghanistan! I get that the stakes are higher because her job is at stake, but it's pretty stupid for Andrew to risk five years in prison. I don't think the $250,000 is a big deal for him, because later we'll find out his family is loaded. However, Andrew sticks with the story and tells him they're "just two people who weren't supposed to fall in love." He sneakily adds that they didn't want to say anything because of his upcoming promotion to become editor. <p></p><p>Mr. Gilbertson asks if their parents know about their relation and Margaret says hers are dead, but that they're going to tell Andrew's parents when the see them this weekend to celebrate Andrew's Gammy's 90th birthday. Honestly, I'm shocked she even remembered him talking about that because it seemed like she was barely paying attention to what he was saying. When asked where Andrew's parents live, she scoffs and asks "Why am I doing all the talking?" and tells Andrew that he should tell him where it is since it's his parents' house. This right here should have been major red flags to the immigration lawyer. But to be fair, he is pretty skeptical throughout the movie. He just doesn't seem to question it in this moment. When Andrew says his parents live in Sitka, Alaska, Margaret doesn't seem to be too thrilled. Okay, a couple of things:</p><p>1. I wouldn't be thrilled if I was going to Alaska either, especially for the weekend. (They go for a long weekend since they are there for four days, but still!) A long-ass flight to Alaska to only be there for four days is not worth it! They will fly first class from New York to Juneau, then take a jumper plane to Sitka. Now I'm not sure if there were any layovers on their way to Juneau, but a nonstop flight is about eight hours. You can fly to London from New York with one less hour. Actually, a flight from New York to London would be two hours less because I forgot to account for the one hour flight they take from Juneau to Sitka. </p><p>2. How the hell did Margaret not know that Andrew is from Alaska? They've known each other for three years and that never came up? Alaska is one of those places where I think you would remember if someone said they were from there. </p><p>When they leave the office, Margaret tells Andrew that him saying he was being promoted was "genius", but obviously he was being serious and told her that he would need some kind of incentive for him to go along as he could be sent to jail for doing this. Hell, I don't blame him! At first, she refuses to give him the promotion and he tells her he quits and starts walking away, but she quickly agrees that she'll make him editor if their little ploy works. He also says that he wants her to publish his manuscript and adds that he'll tell his family about the engagement when he wants and how he wants. </p><p>Their separate interviews are schedule for eleven on Monday, so on the l--o--n--g flight to Juneau they have plenty of time to study up on each other. Andrew already knows a fair amount about Margaret, but she hardly knows anything about him. They are looking at questions that will be asked and I'm surprised that they are able to study for their interview and will have plenty of time to make sure their answers match. </p><p>When they reach Sitka, they are greeted by Andrew's mom, Grace (Mary Steenburgen), and his Gammy, Annie (Betty White). Gammy asks Margaret if she prefers to be called Margaret or "Satan's Mistress". It seems this his family knows that he strongly dislikes his boss, but yet they don't really seem to question why he's all of a sudden dating her. I guess they're just happy that he's visiting because we'll later learn that he only visits about every three years. I just assumed because it was too far away, but it's because he has a strained relationship with his dad, Joe (Craig T. Nelson).</p><p>When they're driving from the tiny airport, this is when Margaret and the audience realize that Andrew comes from a wealthy family (he's "an Alaskan Kennedy" as Margaret will call him) because there's many shops and businesses with "Paxton" in the name.</p><p>Margaret and Andrew were originally going to stay in a hotel (most likely two separate rooms), but Grace tells them she cancelled their reservations because they want them to stay in their home. This makes sense since he is their son and he is visiting with his girlfriend. Not to mention, they have plenty of room in their house. Their house is on an island and they have to take a boat to reach it. They have to climb down a ladder to the dock where the boat is docked. One moment that genuinely made me laugh out loud is when Andrew throws Margaret's Louis Vuitton suitcase into the boat, but it bounces off the dock and lands in the water. He says "Five second rule" as he quickly fishes it out. (I thought it was three seconds!)</p><div>It's so awkward watching Margaret climb down the ladder to the dock because she's wearing heels and it reminded me of Cameron Diaz wearing heels in <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2021/12/house-swap.html">The Holiday</a> when she's walking down the snowy road with her luggage. </div><div><br /></div><div>When they reach the house, Andrew's mom tells him they invited 50 of their closest friends and neighbors to meet Margaret. Um...aren't they having a big party for Gammy in a couple of days? Wouldn't the smart thing be for their friends and neighbors to meet her then? I'll tell you one thing...if I were just on a ten + hour flight, the LAST thing I would want is some big party to attend where the point is for everyone to meet me. Even if I WASN'T pretending to be engaged to someone! That seems like my worst nightmare. </div><div><br /></div><div>At the party, Margaret is pretty much introduced to only two people: Andrew's dad and his ex girlfriend, Gertrude (Malin Ackerman). We find out why Andrew and his father have a strained relationship: Joe wanted Andrew to stay in Sitka to help with the family businesses when he retires soon and isn't happy that he ran off to New York to become an editor's assistant. He knows his son hates Margaret and thinks he's only dating her to "climb the corporate ladder". Remember when Andrew told Margaret that he would decide when they would announce his engagement to his family? (Of course you do! It was only a few paragraphs ago!) Well, he chooses this moment to tell his dad about the engagement, then soon finds himself telling the entire party. </div><p>While this is going on, a waiter serving hors d'oeuvres had just put a bite of something (lobster maybe?) into Margaret's mouth (like physically puts it into her mouth even though she told him she didn't want one) and this is the exact moment she hears Andrew announce to everyone they're engaged and she ends up spitting it out. The waiter is named Ramone and there's a running gag where he has many jobs throughout this movie, so this is sighting and job #1. </p><p>Gertrude asks the newly engaged couple how Andrew proposed and both Grace and Gammy also want to hear this story. You would think Andrew and Margaret would realize there would be a good chance they would be asked this questions when they announced their engagement and they would have already come up with a story, duh. But I get it; it's funnier this way, and, besides, they were probably too busy going over the questions they would need to answer for their interview. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhdhVu-4CP2ibC1WbsdevHOTH0SdHnxYZiBvUQju0yAXdL7nLND9gNZ-bIbFhQkrDy_tiTnS2_dQWRzEZFPDIRwcYOWu8dV0ZTkaHHmxCECu6ihx6lfj5uZV027MXos5mkdO5aqSJOjh-X8gk6TykH5JGclgK1d0-wutltvjqkj6dWXWCeGZE8RHGzYQic" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="401" data-original-width="600" height="134" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhdhVu-4CP2ibC1WbsdevHOTH0SdHnxYZiBvUQju0yAXdL7nLND9gNZ-bIbFhQkrDy_tiTnS2_dQWRzEZFPDIRwcYOWu8dV0ZTkaHHmxCECu6ihx6lfj5uZV027MXos5mkdO5aqSJOjh-X8gk6TykH5JGclgK1d0-wutltvjqkj6dWXWCeGZE8RHGzYQic=w200-h134" width="200" /></a></div>Of course, neither want to tell the story since there is no story to tell! I'm trying to think what I would do if I were in this (highly unlikeable) situation. If the other person tells the story, you don't have to worry about coming up with an elaborate tale, but on the other hand, if you're the one telling it, you are controlling the narrative which is exactly what Margaret does when Andrew suggests that she should tell them because she "loves telling this story." This is dangerous territory to let her tell the story! <p></p><p>She starts by saying they they were about to celebrate their first anniversary together and she knew that he'd been "itching to ask [her] to marry him." According to her, he was scared (heh), so she started "leaving him little hints here and there because [she] knew he wouldn't have the guts to ask." So at this point, Andrew's not too happy that she's making him sound like a wuss, so he's quick to interrupt and tell them that's not exactly how it happened. He says he picked up on her hints, implying they weren't so subtle. As soon as he tells them he had a little box for her, Margaret interrupts and says it was a decoupage box he made and "had taken the time to cut out tiny, little pictures of himself." She opened it "and out fluttered these tiny, little hand-cut heart confettis." Now I would think this part would be a red flag to his own family because he doesn't strike me as being this intricate and artistic, but his mom and grandma seem to be believing every word of this story, She continues, saying she saw "the most beautiful, big..." and once again, Andrew interrupts and completes the sentence with "fat nothing." He says there was no ring and instead was a "handwritten note with the address to a hotel, date, and time." Margaret says she thought he was seeing someone else and went to the hotel and banged on the door which was unlocked and when she opened it, she saw him "kneeling on a bed of rose petals in a tuxedo" and he was "chocking back soft, soft sobs." Margaret doesn't have a chance to tell them what he said to her when he was finally able to talk because Andrew interrupts and tells them really quickly that he asked her to marry him and she said yes. I think he was ready to end that story! </p><p>The crowd clinks their glasses, wanting the newly engaged couple to kiss and he kisses her hand, bhah! They do eventually kiss on the lips but it's so awkward and obviously not real. I am shocked that nobody is suspicious of them at all. Well, I guess Joe is a little bit, but they don't really dwell on that. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgf6uXH9GqUt_qdRPv0Fold6RKIY2Fk2YUQ_Lg9yUW4YBEwfkZoGcCFKEMh-hNiS1IRrsFurJlqUjJxL9A_Gsvs4H7aECLM9FU6ITbG5VE2ADW5tj2InAFJazivNFyLzpxX-v8EQCbw6zBo1BUJb6iJnXBa95KcksFlYWawgH5go2YtzrSY2WDkl4ldgKU" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="268" data-original-width="268" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgf6uXH9GqUt_qdRPv0Fold6RKIY2Fk2YUQ_Lg9yUW4YBEwfkZoGcCFKEMh-hNiS1IRrsFurJlqUjJxL9A_Gsvs4H7aECLM9FU6ITbG5VE2ADW5tj2InAFJazivNFyLzpxX-v8EQCbw6zBo1BUJb6iJnXBa95KcksFlYWawgH5go2YtzrSY2WDkl4ldgKU=w200-h200" width="200" /></a></div>Andrew and Margaret share a room with an en suite and Andrew sleeps on the floor in front of the bed. Before the end of the first day, we are introduced to one more character: an adorable samoyed puppy named Kevin (what an odd name for a dog!) that Andrew's parents recently rescued from the pound. Gammy tells them not to let him outside because of eagles (and other Alaskan predators, I'm sure!) Well, guess what? It's literally the next scene and guess what happens? I'll give you one guess. The next morning, before she's up, Margaret receives a phone call from Frank, that reclusive author. He must be her biggest client because she seems to be doing everything to make him happy. She can't get any reception so she ends up throwing a coat over her pajamas and putting on some rubber boots and goes outside, leaving the back door wide open for some unknown reason. Well, there is a reason and it's so the dog can get out too. Five seconds later (and I'm not exaggerating) an eagle swoops down and snatches the poor little unsuspecting puppy. Margaret talks with Frank for about ten more seconds before she realizes that a big bird has Kevin and she throws the phone at the bird (she doesn't hit it because that would take amazing talent), but the bird does drop the dog. Luckily, the drop isn't too far a distance so the dog is unharmed when he drops to the ground and he's also amazingly unharmed despite the fact that an eagle with sharp talons just picked him up. Margaret really caught a break there! I don't think Andrew's family would look too kindly at her if she had inadvertently killed the family pet within the first 24 hours of meeting them. Margaret picks up Kevin which is a little surprising because in a later scene Kevin will be blocking her way and she's trying to get around him and while I wouldn't say she's scared of him, for some reason she can't just simply walk around him or scoot him out of the way and here she has picked him up and is holding him. It's just odd, that's all. Because she is holding the dog, the eagle swoops down at her and Margaret covers her head with her arm that is holding the phone and the eagle ends up taking the phone. This poses two questions: 1) why did the eagle drop the dog in the first place? Margaret was nowhere near hitting it with her phone. Don't get me wrong; I'm glad Kevin is okay because he is adorable and this movie would have gone to a super dark place if the eagle made a meal out of that puppy, but I'm guessing this would never happen in the real world! And, 2) why the hell would the eagle take the phone? I don't think it would have any interest in that at all! So now the eagle has her phone (which I'm sure it dropped soon after, but we don't see where it goes if it did drop it) and Margaret is holding up Kevin, trying to entice the eagle with the dog. For some reason, she thinks if she gives the dog to the eagle, the eagle will give her the phone back like they're doing some business transaction. However, lucky for everyone, the eagle doesn't seem interested and flies away. We see a shot of Grace and Gammy looking out the window and laughing. I was kind of shocked that they were laughing because the night before they had told Margaret to make sure Kevin doesn't get out and here she is outside with Kevin. Why the hell are they laughing? Shouldn't they be livid? I'm not sure how long they've been watching but I'm guessing they didn't see the part where the eagle scooped up Kevin. They did see Margaret running around holding Kevin up and I guess they didn't see the eagle because they seem to think Margaret is playing the dog and how cute it is. <p></p><p>Margaret freaks out about her phone to Andrew and he tells her they'll just order a new phone with the same number and they can go into town tomorrow to pick it up. Duh. </p><p>Grace, Gammy, and Gertrude take Margaret out to a strip club where we get a very awkward and way too long scene of Ramone doing a strip tease for her. (I guess this is her unofficial bachelorette party). This is sighting and job #2 for Ramone. </p><p>When they return back to the house, Margaret goes upstairs to take a shower. It's only when she's done that she realizes she can't find a towel. Uh, wouldn't you make sure you had a towel before you took the shower? Also, Margaret must not have been paying attention that first night because Grace clearly told them there were towels in the cabinet outside the bathroom. The only thing she can find is a washcloth which she covers her bits up with and holds her other arm over her breasts. This is the scene I was talking about earlier when the little dog is blocking her way and barking at her when she opens the door. Now while she was in the shower, Andrew had come upstairs with his head phones on (I guess so he can't hear the shower even though the bathroom door is closed so you would think he would know that someone's in there) and he opens the cabinet to grab a towel, then heads outside on the deck, for some reason, to strip. When Margaret opens the door, she sees the cabinet door ajar and that there are towels. She tries to deter the dog by blowing a hair dryer at him, but, of course, he loves it. (I had a cat who hated going to the groomers, but he absolutely loved the warm air from the blow dryer.) Somehow, she makes it past this fearsome creature and while she's stepping her way around the dog, Andrew steps into the room and they both run into each other and she falls on top of him and it's the most awkward thing ever because they're both butt naked! </p><p>That night, when she's in the bed and he's on the floor, he brings it up again and she tells him let's never talk about this again and they agree. Or maybe it was the other way around where she brought it up and he said they should never talk about it again Margaret knows there's tension between him and his father and asks about it, but he refuses to tell her. She starts telling him little random bits of information about herself to open up to him and I guess this is supposed to bring them closer together. I guess they do seem a little friendlier after this. </p><p>The next morning Grace knocks on the door, announcing she's brought them breakfast in bed. Margaret quickly wakes Andrew by throwing a pillow at him and tells him to get into the bed with her. He does (and also hides the sheets so they're not on the floor anymore) and they accept their breakfast from his mother. </p><p>Joe comes in and tells them Grace thought of a great idea. Why are they telling them this now when they're in bed? Can't they wait until they're up and dressed? Even Gammy will come in a few minutes later. Anyway, Andrew's parents tell them that they want them to get married at their house tomorrow which is also the same day of Gammy's ninetieth birthday party (fun fact: Betty White was 86 when she filmed this). When they say they don't want to ruin Gammy's big day, this is when she barges in and tells them she's had 89 birthday parties and doesn't need another and that "it would be a dream come true for me to see my one grandchild's wedding. A dream come true!" When they're still hesitant about it, she plays the guilt card and asks them if they'll do it "before I'm dead." They sure aren't giving them much notice, but I guess they thought everything through. They already have a venue: it will be in the barn (I didn't even know they had a bar!) because it's "a Paxton family tradition." You can see that Margaret looks extra thrilled about that! </p><p>That afternoon, Margaret and Andrew go into town to pick up her new phone. This is when we get sighting and job #3 of Ramone who works at the store. She has 37 messages and needs to answer them so Andrew takes her to an Internet cafe and while she's in there, he's outside talking to Gertrude who he ran into and Margaret sees this. She looks a little jealous, but nothing comes out of it. Gertrude is not trying to get Andrew back and Andrew only sees her as a friend. There is absolutely no threat. I think the director just likes Malin Akerman because she had worked with her the previous year in <i>27 Dresses </i>and wanted to give her a role in this movie. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiW6xwfkUNcCUyNRvMmQH5S8NI8LQ6OTMyPbR8I1Xlyi4BJmC-8FfsrK9CTM32fd3msMvwnbRWberTrZ8NOaaDwaunPYglTo5QRyYYHo7kNm9pb-ja-oqzcirP1XVR_NXuaLG6zq769ppAEjDdgtoVUg9j5L3k0ahFU4uy3fDWfQiOBWimV2hicMOOql9g" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="435" data-original-width="652" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiW6xwfkUNcCUyNRvMmQH5S8NI8LQ6OTMyPbR8I1Xlyi4BJmC-8FfsrK9CTM32fd3msMvwnbRWberTrZ8NOaaDwaunPYglTo5QRyYYHo7kNm9pb-ja-oqzcirP1XVR_NXuaLG6zq769ppAEjDdgtoVUg9j5L3k0ahFU4uy3fDWfQiOBWimV2hicMOOql9g=w200-h133" width="200" /></a></div>Grace and Gammy take Margaret to a tailor's to try on the dress that Gammy got married in. As she tells Margaret, her mother made it for her in this very same shop in 1929. Because Gammy is a little bustier and was "knocked up" (her words!) when she wore it way back when, it doesn't quite fit Margaret and is quite loose on her, but once they get it tailored, it does look very nice on her. It's a bit of an old-fashioned dress (well, duh, it is from 1929) and she is entirely covered, but it does have that cool retro vibe to it. <p></p><p>Gammy gives Margaret a necklace that has been in the family "for more than 150 years". Her great grandfather gave it to her great grandmother when they got married. Margaret is starting to feel guilty because of this and earlier Grace had told her she'd love for them to come down and visit them. She freaks out to Andrew about it and tells him she "forgot what it was like to have a family" because she's been on her own since she was 16. She doesn't understand why he's "willing to put them through this" because his family loves him. He tells her they're not going to find to out (hmm, are you sure about that?) and when she asks "How do you know?" (which is a good point), he replies, "You said so yourself." Uh, that's not really a good argument. </p><p>When they get back to the house, Joe is there to meet them and he looks serious. Right away I knew that he had found out their engagement was a sham. This was confirmed when he tells them he needs to talk to them and that Andrew's mother "is never to hear any of this." They go into the barn (oh, there's the barn!) where Mr. Gilbertson, the immigration lawyer, is waiting for them and tells them, "I told you I'd check up on you." At first, I thought he had flown all the way from New York to Sitka on his own accord and was confused by this and thought it was totally pointless since Andrew and Margaret had an appointment with him for their interviews on Monday, but it was Joe who flew him up there. He had received a phone call from Mr. Gilbertson who told him if Andrew was lying, he would be sent to prison for five years. It is a little surprising that neither Andrew nor Margaret thought that the immigration lawyer wouldn't check in with Andrew's parents about this because he did tell them at their first meeting that he would be doing just that. I guess they did consider he might do it and would just deny it which is what Andrew will do. Mr. Gilbertson tells Andrew that his dad "negotiated a deal on your behalf" and he's going to make a statement "admitting this marriage is a sham or you're gonna go to prison". If he tells the truth, nothing will happen to him, but she'll be sent back to Canada. Andrew's statement is that he's been working for Margaret for three years and six months ago they started dating, fell in love, and are now getting married. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiyC3G03wY9GHV8UY6lYcO_yaFffUOFM81OOezGj-WBdNdvndItm1Aio8lCAVNPX3fh97ggXjaTPMWh57BXJXsLdVQCpPvvB_aL7sEcyKtzhDBl1WSjvZGm9_8sSDl45HuEKvsjrxWyvi9j4b8k8__7xhZj7eWV46Q0YdArCbS28X3boZ3XmwPaT6TVcN4" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="489" data-original-width="736" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiyC3G03wY9GHV8UY6lYcO_yaFffUOFM81OOezGj-WBdNdvndItm1Aio8lCAVNPX3fh97ggXjaTPMWh57BXJXsLdVQCpPvvB_aL7sEcyKtzhDBl1WSjvZGm9_8sSDl45HuEKvsjrxWyvi9j4b8k8__7xhZj7eWV46Q0YdArCbS28X3boZ3XmwPaT6TVcN4=w200-h133" width="200" /></a></div></div>We see sighting and job #4 of Ramone who serves as the minister for the wedding. Now, this is the last sighting of him, but I can't say if this is it for all his jobs. I wouldn't be surprised if he was also the mayor of Sitka! For a wedding only announced the day before, they sure got a big crowd! But then again, it was supposed to be Gammy's birthday, so maybe these people came for that and ended up at a wedding instead. I guess the dress code for Gammy's party wasn't casual because everyone is already dressed for a wedding, what luck! Among the guests is Mr. Gilberston. <p></p><p>While Ramone is doing the whole wedding spiel, Margaret interrupts him and says she need to say something. Now I thought she was going to confess everything, but then tell Andrew (and everyone else) that she did fall in love with him over the course of these last couple of days and truly does want to get married to him. We-ell, that's not exactly how it happened. She does confess the reason they're getting married, apologizes to Andrew's family, and on her way out of the barn tells Mr. Gilberston (who has a smug look on his face) that he's giving her a ride back to the airport. I guess Margaret's conscience just caught up with her and she couldn't go through with this ruse anymore.</p><p>Of course, Grace and Gammy are confused and want Andrew to tell them what's going on, but he's too preoccupied to tell them anything right now. On their way to the airport, Mr. Gilbertson tells Margaret that once they land in New York, she'll have twenty-four hours to go to Canada. Well, at least that flight will be a lot shorter at a little under two hours (assuming she's going to Toronto). </p><p>Even though the wedding has been called off, there's still a wedding reception outside (well, they might as well use all the food and supplies they already paid for!) and Andrew wants to go after Margaret and talk to her, but his dad tells him he can't let him do that and they start fighting. Gammy yells at them to stop fighting, then looks panicked and grabs her chest to look like she was having a heart attack which I knew she was faking. A sea plane is called to take her to the hospital and Andrew and his parents go with her. You know this has to be the most exciting wedding these guests have ever attended! First, the bride walks out, and now the grandmother of the groom is being taken away a small plane because of a supposed heart attack. </p><p>In the plane Gammy takes off her oxygen mask and tells Andrew and Joe that they need to stop fighting. She tells her son to promise her that he'll stand by Andrew even if he doesn't agree with him and she makes her grandson promise her that he'll "work harder to be a part of this family." They both promise. She replies, "Well, then, the spirits can take me" and closes her eyes. A moment later, she opens them and takes off her oxygen mask (which the EMT had put back on) and says, "I guess they're not ready for me" and tells the pilot she's "felling much better" and there's "no need to take us to the hospital." She asks him to take them to the airport instead. I called it because she admits she was faking the heart attack because "it was the only way I could get you two to make up and get us to the airport." Uh, wouldn't you get a fine for that? They probably didn't because she's the matricach of the richest family on the island. </p><p>They get to the airport, but it's too late and Margaret has already left. Andrew gets on the next plane to New York. He runs to the office where Margaret is cleaning out her desk and professes his love for her in front of everybody. All the women are clutching their hands to their hears and oohing and aahing. At first, she's a little resistant, but then decides that she loves him too. He proposes to her, this time for real and wants her to marry him "because [he'd] like to date [her]." Everybody claps when they kiss, something that only happens in movies, let's be real. I don't buy that these two would become romantically involved, if anything, I can find them having more of a respect for each other. </p><p>I know I called this movie mediocre, but it's not the worst thing to watch when you need something to do. There are some funny moments (although they are few and far between) and it's only an hour and a half. Also, if you do watch it and you're charmed by the town of Sitka, don't book your flight to Alaska just yet! The movie was actually filmed in Rockport, Massachusetts, which is in the northeast part of the state. The mountains that you see were CGIed in. </p>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-87717058202061419772024-01-24T12:05:00.001-06:002024-01-24T12:05:06.054-06:00Will You Make a Choice? <div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Knock at the Cabin</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Director: M. Night Shyamalan</div><div style="text-align: left;">Cast: Dave Bautista, Jonathan Groff, Ben Aldridge, Nikki Amuka-Bird, Rupert Grint, Abby Quinn</div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: February 3, 2023</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.digitaltrends.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/knock-at-the-cabin-01.jpg?p=1" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="800" height="267" src="https://www.digitaltrends.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/knock-at-the-cabin-01.jpg?p=1" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Picture it: you're vacationing with your family in a charming rustic cabin in the woods. There's a lake nearby for swimming and plenty of beautiful nature. You're only there for a few days before you hear a knock at the front door and it's four strangers. They tell you that you must sacrifice one member of your family in order to save everyone else on the planet. If you don't, the world will end. Sounds pretty crazy, doesn't it? Well, this is the premise to this movie </div><p>We first meet Wen, a seven-year-old girl who is collecting grasshoppers to study in a large jar just outside the cabin in rural Pennsylvania. While she's doing this, she notices a large, tattooed man (Dave Bautista) walking towards her. She looks a little suspicious, but stays put. When he comes up to her, he tells her he's not around here and is looking for some new friends and asks if he can talk to her. She replies that she doesn't talk to strangers. He tells her she's smart and that she shouldn't, but he's here to be her friend, so hopefully they won't be strangers for long. (Which is exactly something a stranger would say!) They introduced themselves to each other and we learn the man's name is Leonard. </p><p>Wen must have missed the Stranger Danger discussion in school because he offers to help her catch grasshoppers and soon she's opening up to him. She tells him that she wants to take care of animals when she grows up and that "Daddy Eric" taught her how to catch grasshoppers. When he questions why she refers to her dad by his first name, she tells him it's so they know which dad she's talking to: Daddy Eric or Daddy Andrew. She tells him that nobody in her class or anyone on the Disney Channel has two dads. I'm kind of surprised about the Disney Channel; I would have thought they would at least have one show with single-sex parents. Aren't they supposed to be pretty progressive? Also, does the Disney Channel even exist anymore with Disney +? </p><p>Leonard has a flower and wants to play a game where they will take turns pulling off petals and each time they do, they can ask the other person a question and "by the time [they're] done, [they'll] know each other better." Wen asks him why he's here (love how she gets to the point) and he tells her he's there to make friends with her and maybe her dads and maybe catch some more grasshoppers. Hmm, Leonard, something tells me you're not telling her the whole truth! He asks her how she got the tiny scar on his lip, then quickly realizes he may have overstepped and that question might be too personal, but she tells him her lip was "broken" when she was born, but the scar was left when the doctors fixed it. He tells her that he doesn't have a physical scar like she does, but that his heart is broken. When she asks him why, he replies, "Because of what I have to do today." Of course this prompts her to ask, "What do you have to do?" It's at that moment Wen (and the audience) hears footsteps appraoching and we see three people in the distance. Wen asks him if they're his friends and he tells her that she's his friends and "No matter what happen, I want you to remember that." He compares the people who are coming towards them "more like people I work with" and that the four of them "have a very important job to do; in fact, it might be the most important job in the history of the world." You would think he might be a bit hyperbolic, but, well, I'll guess we'll find out soon enough! </p><p>The people are getting closer and they're carrying homemade weapons - wooden sticks with spikes and chains, that kind of thing. At this point, Wen is getting very concerned and stands up to leave. Leonard tells her it's not about her or her dads and she hasn't done anything wrong, but her and her dads "are gonna have to make some tough decisions. Terrible decisions. And I wish with all my broken heart that you didn't have to." Before she leaves, he tells her, "Your dads won't let us in. You have to tell them they must. Otherwise, we're gonna have to find our own way in." This poor seven (almost eight!) year old girl. That's a lot of information to take in. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/5765_FP_00072A.-H-2023.jpg?w=1296" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="451" data-original-width="800" height="113" src="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/5765_FP_00072A.-H-2023.jpg?w=1296" width="200" /></a></div>Wen runs back to her cabin (which wasn't at all that far away from where she was catching grasshoppers) and goes to the back porch where her dads are sitting. The vibe is very different. We just went from something super serious and ominous, and now we're just chilling with Eric (Jonathan Groff) and Andrew (Ben Aldridge) who are relaxing on the back porch while listening to music without a care in the world. They're more than a little bemused when Wen demands that they come inside right now and that "There's strangers and they want to come in, and they're scary!" They obviously don't believe her, but they humor her and come inside and ask her to explain what has her so frightened. She tells them how "the big one, Leonard" told her that she and the two of them have "the most important job in the history of the world." The guys thinks it must be Jehovah's Witnesses that she came across. <p></p><p>After Wen tells them they have weapons, we get the titular knock at the cabin. Eric and Andrew decide the best way to handle this is to be polite and they ask Leonard if there's something he needs. He replies that he needs to speak to them and asks if they could open the door because it would make it a lot easier to have this conversation face to face. </p><p>Eric tells him they weren't expecting visitors and he does't want to sound rude, but they would like to be left alone. Leonard says that he understands and that he never thought that the four of them would be here asking to talk to him. While Andrew looks through the blinds, Eric asks who else is out there and Leonard tells him he's with Sabrina, Adriane, and Redmond. He also adds that they're there "trying to save a whole bunch of people." Andrew beckons Eric to come over and they look through the blinds and see that they are carrying weapons. Andrew tries to call the police, but there's no dial tone. They try not to let that deter them and they tell their visitors that they're calling the police, but we hear Adriane tell them they had to cut the phone lines so they know the people in the cabin are NOT able to call the police...or anyone. They can't even use their own phones because cell service doesn't work where they are out in the boondocks. </p><p>Again, Leonard asks them to open the door so they can have a conversation. Wen asks why do they have the "scary weapons" and Leonard tells her they're tools. Hmm, I would say they're 50% tools, 50% weapons! Andrew tells them he has a gun, but whispers to Eric that it's in the safe in the back of their SUV. </p><p>Leonard give them one last chance to open the door, then the door knob starts rattling and you know that a creaky wooden door is not going to stop four people who really want to get in (and when one of them is Dave Bautista; I forgot to mention a humorous moment when either Andrew or Eric sees him out the window and comments, "One of them is really huge!"). </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://anygoodfilms.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/knock-at-the-cabin-pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="113" src="https://anygoodfilms.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/knock-at-the-cabin-pic.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Eric and Andrew quick barricade the front and back doors with furniture while Wen goes around and shuts all the windows. There were a couple windows that were wide open, so while Leonard was talking to them, one of the other intruders could have easily gotten in that way! A couple of them go down through the cellar doors (guess those weren't locked) and through the basement while Redmond breaks the glass of the back door with an axe and tries tries to unlock the door from the inside. Eric grabs a couple of fire pokes and they try to fight him off. This is when they realize that some of them are in the basement and they decide to make a run for it to the car. As soon as then open the door, Sabrina appears from the basement and tells them, "It doesn't have to be like this." There's an altercation between her and Eric with their weapons and he ends up getting hit in the head with her tool/weapon of choice. This makes Andrew very upset, but Sabrina is a nurse and wants to help Eric. By this time, Redmond has pushed the couch away from the back door and enters, followed by Leonard so now all the intruders are inside the cabin. Andrew had been fighting off Redmond, but quickly stops when he sees that Leonard is holding Wen and tells him, "That's enough." <p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://images.immediate.co.uk/production/volatile/sites/3/2023/02/5765D01700198R-81b3b10.jpg?quality=90&resize=980,654" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="534" data-original-width="800" height="134" src="https://images.immediate.co.uk/production/volatile/sites/3/2023/02/5765D01700198R-81b3b10.jpg?quality=90&resize=980,654" width="200" /></a></div>In the next scene we see that Andrew and Eric have been tied up. Eric was unconscious when he was tied up, so that would make it easy for them to restrain him, but I'm surprised Andrew didn't put up much of a fight. I guess he felt he didn't really have a choice with their weapons/tools and the fact that a huge guy is among the four that are holding them hostage. Andrew thinks they're being targeted and that that is a hate crime because he and Eric are a gay couple. Leonard and Sabrina are quick to tell them that is not the case; that they are not homophobic and Leonard tells them they didn't know they were a single-sex couple until they got there. I believe him because he did look surprised when Wen told him she had two dads.<p></p><p>Leonard gathers everyone together because it's "time to talk". He wants his colleagues to introduce themselves to the cabin dwellers. Sabrina (Nikki Amuka-Bird; she was also in Shyamalan's previous movie, <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2023/10/time-is-not-on-their-side.html">Old</a>) is from SoCal and has been a post-op nurse for five years. She used most of her savings to come out to Pennsylvania just to talk to them. </p><p>Leonard tells them he's from Chicago where he's a second-grade teacher (I feel like he would be better suited as a high school teacher; I bet none of the students would talk back to him!) and he runs the after-school program. And when he's not a second-grade teacher during the day, he's a bartender at night which I find humorous. </p><p>Redmond (Rupert Grint aka Ron Weasley!) sarcastically says he likes long walks on the beach and beer. (Well, I think he was being genuine about liking beer!) Leonard tells him to take this more seriously, that this family deserves to know who they are. With agitation, Redmond tells him they wasted time waiting for Eric to wake up and states that "this get-to-know-you stuff doesn't matter at all; doesn't change what we have to do or what they have to do." Leonard tells him when he says stuff like that, he'll just scare them and he makes it "less likely that they'll believe us or cooperate." I love that they're having this conversation in front of Andrew and Eric and Wen (who's not tied up, but usually standing near one of her dads). Remember, they have no idea why these four random strangers have come to their house and technically, neither does the audience, but if you've watched the trailer, then you probably do. But if I were one of the hostages, I would definitely be more than a little concerned after hearing that! So Redmond continues and tells them he lives in Medford, Massachusetts and works for the gas company. He's "done some time" because he did a lot of "questionable stuff" when he was "young and stupid." I've heard a few people on movie review podcast say they didn't think Grint do a good job with the accent, but I thought it was fine. Never once did I hear his English accent. </p><p>Before Adriane (Abby Quinn) can do her introduction, Eric speaks up with his own thoughts. He thinks they are a cult who are trying to fix things and wants to recruit them or try to change them or make them different and if that's so, this is not the way to do it. The only thing we learn about Abby in this moment is that she's a line cook at a Mexican restaurant in D.C. Later, she will reveal she has a young son, but Andrew won't believe her. </p><p>It's finally time to see what the hell is going on. Leonard simply tells them, "The four of us are here to prevent the apocalypse." Okay, cool. He tells them that everyone in this cabin (all seven of them) can stop it from happening, but only with their help: "Ultimately, whether the world ends or not is completely up to you three." That's a lot of weight to put on three people, especially when one is a child! Obviously, Andrew and Eric aren't buying any of this. Eric tells him that he's having "a psychological break of some kind." Leonard pretty much ignores him and continues with his instructions which is that they must choose to "willingly sacrifice" one of the three of them to "prevent the apocalypse." Let's just think about this for one second. There's only three of them which doesn't make great odds and one of them is just a seven-year-old girl, you know that they wouldn't consider her for one second, so now it's just a fifty-fifty chance between Andrew and Eric. Leonard realizes that this is an impossible decision (ya think, Leonard?), but if they fail to choose or follow through with the sacrifice, the world will end. The three of them will live, "but the rest of humanity will perish." They will also get the added bonus "to witness the horror of the end of everything and they will be left to wander the devastated planet alone." Well, when you put it like that! </p><p>Eric tells Leonard they haven't done anything wrong and Leonard agrees with him and he doesn't think they deserve this burden. He tells them they're "the family chosen to decide for us in this time." He makes it clear that they need to make the decision and one of them can't kill themselves. Andrew tells them they're not choosing anyone to sacrifice. Sabrina asks him, "Even if it means the death of everyone else in the world?" He tells her yes, but says he doesn't believe it's true. </p><p>This scenario reminds me of a question I would find in a book I have called <i>The Book of Questions</i> that asks such philosophical questions. I think one of them was similar to their dilemma: you have the option to save a couple of your loved ones or you can save thousands of strangers. (There was nothing about the world ending!) It also reminded me of the Trolley Problem, which is something I learned about in an episode of <i>The Good Place</i>. Wikipedia defines it as:</p><blockquote><p><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 34); color: #202122; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">The </span><b style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 34); color: #202122; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">trolley problem</b><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 34); color: #202122; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> is a series of </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thought_experiment" style="background-image: none; color: #795cb2; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Thought experiment">thought experiments</a><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 34); color: #202122; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> in </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethics" style="background-image: none; color: #795cb2; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Ethics">ethics</a><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 34); color: #202122; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> and </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychology" style="background-image: none; color: #795cb2; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Psychology">psychology</a><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 34); color: #202122; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">, involving stylized </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethical_dilemma" style="background-image: none; color: #795cb2; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Ethical dilemma">ethical dilemmas</a><span style="background-color: white; caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 34); color: #202122; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"> of whether to sacrifice one person to save a larger number.</span></p></blockquote><p>This is exactly what we have here. One person has to be sacrificed in order to save the rest of the world. Now you're probably asking yourself why does it have to be one of only three people out of the entire world's population of eight billion people? It's because of the visions Leonard and the other three had. Visions that were "so strong, so specific, and so real." They have been shown what will happen if they don't make a sacrifice and it does not look good. For anybody. The visions led them to each other and that led them to "this exact cabin." He has no idea why this family in particular was chosen. It's interesting that this cabin was chosen because Eric and Andrew found it online and obviously they are only there on vacation. Leonard describes what will happen: the ocean will swell and drown cities and drag everything out to sea, people will get sick from "a terrible plague", and an "everlasting darkness will descend over humanity." Andrew tells them that they need help and if they let them go, they can get them help. Leonard is adamant that what he just told them is going to happen and only their sacrifice can stop it. </p><p>So if this had been an original Shyamalan screenplay, I would be wondering if the twist would be that the world is actually ending or if these four people are just playing a cruel and terrible joke on them. This is based on a novel called<i> Cabin at the End of the World,</i> which I had never heard of until I saw this movie. </p><p>Before I continue on, I'm going to put on my spoiler warning because I'm going to spoil something about the book (I haven't read it, but heard a huge spoiler on a movie review podcast) and I'm also going to start talking about major plot points of the movie that could be considered major spoilers and since this movie is only a year old, I want to make sure you get a chance to see the movie before continuing reading on!</p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">If you have not seen this movie and would like to see it spoiler-free, I would advise you to stop reading at this point! Major spoilers ahead for both the movie and the book! You have been warned! Spoilers ahoy! </span></p><p>So I read through the Wikipedia summary of the book and while there are a few changes from the film, there is one major one (this is the one I heard about on a podcast; I guess on movie podcasts they're not too worried about giving away book spoilers! Oh, well, I was never planning on reading the book anyway.) So in the novel, Andrew has gotten his gun and there is a struggle between him and Leonard and the gun accidentally goes off and kills the young girl! To make matters worse, her death won't count as saving all humanity because she was accidentally killed and wasn't sacrificed. So basically she was killed for nothing and her death didn't mean anything. It's clear to see why they didn't go that route in the movie! The little girl is adorable and I don't think it would go over well with the audience if they had killed her off, accident or not. This movie is already dark enough and I think this would take it into a whole new level of darkness. So Wen survives the movie! Who else survives? Well, read on and find out. Now let's get back to the movie!</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/wYAtRiHjSgYBpetzEiFePB.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="491" data-original-width="800" height="123" src="https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/wYAtRiHjSgYBpetzEiFePB.png" width="200" /></a></div>Andrew and Eric still refuse to make a decision on who to sacrifice. They get very scared when Redmond steps up before them with his scary-looking weapon/tool. They tell him he doesn't need to do this and that they told them they wouldn't hurt them. The strangers are true to their word because Redmond gets on his knees and puts a cloth over his head. Before he completely covers his head, he tells Andrew and Eric, "I'm scared" and wants them to keep looking at him. (Luckily the seven year old isn't required to do this!) Now I knew this movie was rated R and was a little nervous about how much gore they were going to show, but luckily (at least for me, I know some people were disappointed that more gore wasn't shown!) you don't really see when an axe is put into his skull. You just see him fall over with blood dripping from his head. I guess the R rating was more for the language. You'd probably drop more than a few f-bombs if you were in this situation! <p></p><p>While Leonard and Adriane take Redmond's body outside (after wrapping it up), Sabrina cleans the floor. Leonard turns on the TV because there's something he wants Andrew and Eric to see. The channel the TV is turned to is a home shopping channel and we see Shyamalan in his cameo as a guest host of the show, shilling air fryers. The show is interrupted by a special report and a news reporter announces that an earthquake that erupted in the Aleutian Islands four hours ago has caused a huge tsunami that is making its way toward Hawaii. Honestly, I'm surprised Shyamalan didn't cast himself as a news reporter! His role in this movie is significantly smaller than other cameos in his movies. Leonard wants them to keep watching until they see what was shown to him and the others in their visions which is a massive tidal wave that hits Cannon Beach in Oregon due to a second earthquake that registered as an 8.6 on the Richter scale. </p><p>So I guess at a certain time if they haven't decided on who to sacrifice, the intruders sacrifice one of their own (and they seem to have an order of who will be sacrificed when) and it will also unleash something horrible.</p><p>Leonard tells them, "Tomorrow morning, you can make the difficult, selfless choice of sacrifice and save the world...or you can choose to let the clock move another minute closer to permanent midnight. For the rest of today and tonight, we'll tend to your needs within reason." He lets them "be to reflect and talk it over." </p><p>Sabrina takes Eric into the bathroom to bandage his head and tells him he probably thinks she's a "religious fanatic", but admits she hadn't been to church since she was a little girl. She says when her visions started, she "didn't believe it at first, either" and that he will believe and that they are all on the same side. He just replies that he's on his family's side. </p><p>After she brings him back to sit in the chair next to Andrew (and is tied up) and she and the others are out of ear range, Andrew starts whispering to him and tells him how the earth quake happened four hours ago and that "Leonard's checked his watch a thousand times." He surmises that they've been timing all of this. </p><p>Wen hasn't had too much to do at this point so we see her sneak down to the basement and escape through the cellar doors. She hides behind a tree and Leonard immediately comes outside, calling her name. It doesn't take long before he finds her and brings her back. No, they do not tie her up, but he firmly tells her she cannot escape. </p><p>So throughout the movie we've seen little flashbacks of Eric and Andrew in everyday life situations that help build their characters. When Andrew is still accusing them of being targeted because they're a gay couple, we have a flashback where he was in a bar with Eric a few years ago and off screen we hear a guy telling them to be quiet (when they're not being loud at all) and Andrew gets a little smart with him and the guy walks away, but walks back and assaults him by smashing a bottle on his head. He suddenly realizes that Redmond was the guy who did this and he did go to jail, but remembers his name being O'Bannon. This incident will also be the catalyst for Andrew purchasing a gun, the one that is in their car, which will come in play a little later. </p><p>Andrew thinks this is some "sick scam" to get them to hurt each other, but Leonard denies this and Sabrina tells them, "We don't know why each of us is here. Andrew asks, "It's a coincidence the man who attacked me and had me in years of therapy is one of your group?" He wants to get his wallet so he can prove his name isn't Redmond. Leonard tells him it doesn't matter what his name is and Adriane brings up the fact that Redmond was the one to tell then about the cabin on the message board first, then they had the visions, but Leonard says the visions of the cabin came first.</p><p>Whoa, whoa, whoa. I have so many questions. These four strangers met on a message board? I mean, I guess that makes sense since they didn't know each other before and had to meet somewhere. I wonder what this message board was called? Was it for people who believed in the apocalypse? How did they know the others weren't just trolling them? I would have so many red flags if I heard this information if I were Andrew and Eric (and they will). It does seem a little sus that Redmond, who may or may not be the person who attacked Andrew (oh, wait, we're already in spoiler territory so I can confirm that it WAS him) just so happened to mention the cabin where they would be. Although, how would he even know that? Also, Leonard mentions they had visions of this particular cabin? This is a nondescript wooden cabin in the middle of the woods. That cabin could be anywhere! How did they know it was this particular cabin in rural Pennsylvania? Maybe they saw a house number, I don't know! I'm sure things are more explained in the book, which is usually the case.</p><p>It's now the next morning and Andrew whispers to Eric that he feels he can almost get out of the ropes that have his hands tied to the chair. To the intruders, he brings up them meeting on a message board and tells them they're having a "shared delusion" and that they took it as evidence that they got online and found "random people with random visions." While he and Leonard are talking, Wen, who had been in the kitchen, is now behind Eric and we see her hand him a small knife and stands behind him so nobody can see that he's trying to cut the rope. He whispers to her that when he nods at her, he wants to her to start having a tantrum like she did last Thanksgiving. </p><p>This is when Adriane tells them she has a son. If they don't make a choice soon, she will be the next to go. (I wonder how they decide the order? Did they draw straws?) She tells them she has had to see her son die over and over in her visions and pleads for them to make a decision, but they still refuse. She is killed in the same way as Redmond and Leonard tells them they've "unleashed a second plague." </p><p>Sabrina turns on the TV and there's a news report about a new virus, the X-Nine virus which is "proving particularly fatal to children" and "is highly transmittable." Too soon, Shyamalan! Eric whispers to Andrew that he thinks he saw a person or a figure. Leonard and Sabrina hear this and Leonard questions where he saw this. Eric tells him he saw it in the light and reflection in the mirror behind him when he was standing behind Redmond after he was killed. Andrew takes this as him being extremely stressed, having a concussion, and being sensitive to the light. He also thinks the show was programmed and they knew when it was going to be on because they kept checking their watches. </p><p>It's now time for Wen to put on her performance when Eric nods at her. She starts screaming about wanting to watch a cartoon and while Leonard and Sabrina are trying to calm her down, Eric unties himself and tips over the chair. Now Leonard and Sabrina are distracted with him and Andrew has freed himself and sneaks outside to the car. He doesn't make it very far until Sabrina starts following him. Before he can get in the car, she clubs him in the knee with a metal bar, telling him with regret she only did it so he wouldn't run away. He throws dirt on her and gets in the car, locking the doors, and unlocks the safe the gun is in. Just as she's smashed a back door window open with the metal bar and unlocked the door, he shoots near her (barely missing her) and tells her to drop the weapon. She does and backs up until she's far enough away so she can run away. This is when Andrew notices that the tires of the car are flat so their visitors thought of everything.</p><p>Back in the cabin, Leonard is telling Eric that he thinks this family was chosen because their "love for each other is so pure." As he's saying this, Eric sees Andrew come in through the door with the gun pointed at Leonard. He tells Leonard to move away from Eric or he'll shoot him. Leonard tells him it's time for the next sacrifice and asks if he's willing to make a choice. At that moment, Sabrina comes running in through the back door, screaming, and, startled, Andrew turns and fatally shoots her. I wasn't exactly sure why she was screaming like that. Maybe she had a vision and it terrified her or maybe she knew she was the next to be sacrificed and better to have a bullet to the chest then an axe to the head. </p><p>While Leonard is taking care of Sabrina's body, Andrew retrieves Redmond's driver's license and shows Leonard that it was the same man who assaulted him in the bar. The name is shown as Rory O'Bannon. (He probably chose Redmond as his alias because he has red hair). Andrew thinks this is proof that none of this is real and that they are being targeted. He gives his hypothesis: "I always look for motive. How about a crazy bigot meets a bartender somewhere, and they find a woman from a small town who has extreme religious beliefs, then they come across a young woman who can be persuaded of anything." The only thing that doesn't make sense with this is that Sabrina had told Eric that she hadn't gone to church since she was a kid, so I'm not sure where he's getting she "has extreme religious beliefs"; in fact you could argue they all have this because of why they're there. He tells Leonard that since he's not a murderer, he's going to lock him in the bathroom. </p><p>His plan is for him, Eric, and Wen to find the vehicle that the intruders came in and get away in that. Once they have Leonard locked in the bathroom, they start to head outside, but they hear glass shattering. They have a quick discussion and want to make sure he's still in the bathroom because they're worried he could be waiting outside for them. Andrew opens the bathroom door (first warning Leonard that if he sees him, he's going to shoot him) to find the room empty and the circular window's glass has been broken. (And it would be a tight fit for Leonard to get through). The shower curtain is closed around the tub and Andrew shoots once at it. Nothing happens and a few seconds later, he starts to reach for the curtain to open it, but before he can, Leonard jumps outs and attacks him. There's a fight for the gun and Leonard manages to grab it and points it at Andrew who tells Leonard that he thought he wouldn't kill them. Leonard says he won't, be he will shoot him in the leg to keep him from leaving the cabin. He tells him to turn on the TV and now we see that 700 airplanes from around the world have plummeted to the ground without any warning or without issuing distress calls. (Literally my worst nightmare!) </p><p>While the news anchor is talking, Leonard starts reciting everything she's saying at the same time. Andrew still thinks this must be coordinated. He demands Leonard to give him the keys to the car he came in and he wants to leave with his family. Eric asks Andrew if he thinks everything they've seen today is "all just a coincidence?" and Andrew replies "yes". He says he has to believe it's either a horrible coincidence or a trick. </p><p>Now it's time for Leonard to sacrifice himself and he wants to do it outside so he asks them to come out to the back porch with him. He sits in a chair, holding a huge knife and tells the others, "When I'm gone, you'll only have minutes to stop everything. After that it'll be too late." Eric tells Wen to take her headphones and listen to her music in the tree house and to wait there until one of them comes to get her. </p><p>Before he kills himself by slitting his throat with the huge knife, Leonard begs Eric and Andrew "to make a choice and save the world." You would think he would want to use the gun instead of the knife to kill himself. I'm glad that they sent Wen away so she wouldn't have to see that! After he's gone, the sky gets very dark and stormy and we see a plane fall out of the sky in the distance. </p><p>The two of them go back inside the cabin and Eric tells Andrew they still have a few minutes. It's clear that he believes that Leonard and the others were telling the truth and probably has believed them for awhile now. Andrew wants the three of them to leave, but Eric has other ideas. He tells him, "Maybe this is the way it's always been. Maybe families have been deciding this all through time." Andrew basically tells him that he doesn't care if all of humanity ends and the three of them can walk the Earth." Eric asks, "What kind of life is that for Wen?" Eric believes that this was not a home invasion and that they weren't targeted. The four of them came to spend time with him, Andrew, and Wen and get to know them. He says they are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and "they remind us of all aspects of humanity: Redmond, malice; Adriane, nurturing; Sabrina, healing; Leonard, guidance." Andrew questions why them, that they're "nothing special" and Eric replies "Because I know what I felt when we first saw Wen in that orphanage and we were together for the first time." He tells Andrew it would be "a sacrifice for them to give up something so beautiful to us for everyone else." Andrew still doesn't believe them, but Eric does. He gives the gun to Andrew and tells him he's at peace with his decisions and tells him "to do it now before [they] run out of time." Andrew begs him to kill him instead. Eric tells him that he's thinking about their daughter in the future and that "she's living her life exactly as she wanted to." She has her own practice (so she did become a vet like she wanted; how adorable!) As Eric is telling us this, we see a flash forward of a grown up Wen with Andrew as they're coming out of her office. It's just a normal day as they get in the car to go to dinner. Eric tells him "she found someone who loves her and who she loves just as much." Now is Eric really seeing the future because he's granted this gift because he's about to sacrifice himself for the greater good of humanity or is this just what he wants to see? Also, this guy deserves to have the planet named after him since he's saving it! Yes, Leonard and the others were right all along: the world was ending and the sacrifice of one of these three people will stop it. </p><p>We hear a gunshot and Andrew is crying uncontrollably. He comes up the tree house to get Wen who asks, "Did Daddy Eric save everyone?" He hugs her and they both cry. </p><p>They walk down a gravel road until they come across a car that their visitors had drove up in. The door is unlocked and Andrew finds the keys sitting on the center console. (I guess since the world was ending they weren't too worried about their car being stolen...plus where they were, there aren't too many people around.) </p><p>They begin driving. It's raining and there are fires sporadically along the way, but the sky doesn't seem as dark as it was before. They stop at a diner where the TV is on with survivors recounting their stories. Things are starting to seem better. Water has stopped rising, planes are now landing safely, there hasn't been a death in the ICU for the past hour and they're coming up on their second hour of having no deaths. (I guess it's already been almost two hours since Eric was sacrificed). Andrew hears a conversation of a woman on a phone telling someone that "Everything's gonna be okay." </p><p>They get back in the car and when Andrew starts the car, "Boogie Shoes" starts playing on the radio. It's obviously a sign! He turns off the radio, but Wen turns it back on after a few seconds. She turns it off after the chorus is played once and this time Andrew is the one to turn it on and they drive off.</p><p>In the car, we see items that prove their visitors had been telling the truth. There's a photo of Leonard with the kids from his after school program, there's Sabrina's ID from her work, and there's a photo of Adriane's son</p>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-9210978280561086872024-01-09T11:11:00.136-06:002024-01-09T19:13:20.666-06:00Mermaid in Manhattan<div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Splash</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Director: Ron Howard</div><div style="text-align: left;">Cast: Tom Hanks, Daryl Hannah, Eugene Levy, John Candy</div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: March 9, 1984</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh0pRcZhP79KnEGpbM8RbC4WWk2PLmiTx-lJdDYraSZ_10YpRd_QF2NTuLZJxcdX2Aqlm5yXvJhPinOiDC-HBIY2buwOBbJVvr-Y4cPuU6Br8hzUWp-eiOQo577mYMTX8LdbL5pOGHi1IuWTs1DywRYZf0bVFkg-js7wpv7wRsWlgIQJINU3vzsjX2ffCc" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh0pRcZhP79KnEGpbM8RbC4WWk2PLmiTx-lJdDYraSZ_10YpRd_QF2NTuLZJxcdX2Aqlm5yXvJhPinOiDC-HBIY2buwOBbJVvr-Y4cPuU6Br8hzUWp-eiOQo577mYMTX8LdbL5pOGHi1IuWTs1DywRYZf0bVFkg-js7wpv7wRsWlgIQJINU3vzsjX2ffCc=w400-h225" width="400" /></a></div></div><p>One of the first things I noticed about this movie is just how skinny Tom Hanks is. And it's not like he's ever been overweight, but when you watch this movie, you just can't help but notice how skinny he looks! Of course, he was pretty young in this...28, although I would have guessed even younger! This was his first big starring movie as well as the first big movie directed by Ron Howard. </p><p>The movie starts with a flashback twenty years ago where we see young Alan Bauer (Tom Hank's character) as a child on a boat with his family on Cape Cod. (I've been there! My favorite place I visited was Chatham!) Alan, about eight years old is looking down in the water and suddenly just jumps in! Of course, his parents and everyone else start freaking out. Alan definitely saw something because he's underwater with a young blonde girl about his age. We don't see that she's a mermaid (but we know she is one!) until he's back on the boat and dried off. Not too far off, she's just bobbing in the water and he sees her, but nobody else on the boat notices that a young girl is just bobbing in the water! And it's not like she's trying to hide herself or anything! She then dives back into the water and that's when we see she has a tail fin. Gasp! She's a mermaid! </p><p>We're now twenty years later in New York City where Alan and his older brother, Freddie (John Candy), have a produce business. It seems totally random. Alan has a girlfriend he lives with named Victoria, but we never meet her. In fact, she breaks up with him within the first five minutes of meeting him as an adult because he never told her he loved her. This happens the same day he and his brother are ushers at a fellow friend's wedding and everyone keeps asking where Victoria is and he lies and tells them she's sick until he just screams at one guy (who didn't even ask about her) that she left him and how she broke his heart. It sounded like he did have feelings for her because he keeps going on how how "brilliant" and "beautiful" she was. Not really sure why he never told her he loved her, I guess he had commitment issues or something. Though if they were already living together, that was a big step anyway. Well, it doesn't really matter. I guess they just wanted to show us that he was in a relationship, but now he's not and he's sad because now he thinks he'll never find anyone. </p><p>After the ceremony, Alan is feeling down and he tells Freddie he's going to Cape Cod because he likes it there and it makes him better better: "I look out at the water and I feel closer to something." Still wearing his tux from the wedding, he hails a cab to take him to Cape Cod. I have so many questions: why is he going right now? Why didn't he at least go home to change, or, I don't know pack a suitcase? I don't know how long he plans to stay on Cape Cod, but you'd think he'd want a change of clothes and some toiletries! This seems very spontaneous and probably the result of drinking too much. </p><p>It's 300 miles to Cape Cod and the sun is just starting to come up when he gets there. We see him walking along the beach, coming up to a scientist named Walter Kornbluth (Eugene Levy) and his two bumbling idiot assistants unloading a box containing some equipment for a diving expedition. Alan walks up to them and tells them he was "dropped off on the wrong side of the beach" and asks if he could take him over to the island. I would love to know what part of Cape Cod they're on, but we are never told. Walter tells him they can't get him a lift on their boat because they're not heading that way, so Alan tries his luck with someone else. Walter thinks that he must be a spy. </p><p>Alan gets a ride in a very small boat from a random guy. He tells the guy he can't swim and the guy, being a jerk, starts rocking the boat to scare Alan. This causes the boat to end up stalling and the guy can't get the motor to start so he just jumps into the water, telling him he'll go back for the other boat. He says the shore is only a few miles away, but I don't see any land anywhere nearby! And there are sharks in these waters! I know because when I visited Cape Cod, I saw signs warning about sharks! He says he'll bring back the smaller boat and Alan is aghast by this because the boat they're already in is so teeny-tiny. </p><p>On the boat with the scientist and his assistants, Walter uses his binoculars to spot Alan sitting alone in the small boat and assumes he's spying on them. Alan tries to start the engine himself, but ends up falling into the water. On the bright side, he actually got the boat to start (so that guy swam to shore for nothing), but the boat seems to have a mind of its own and it knocks Alan on the head and he starts to sink. His wallet falls out and hits the sea floor, but, luckily, before he can hit the sea floor, he is saved by somebody "mysterious" (let's be honest, we all know who saves him!) and he ends up on a beach with clear blue waters and a white sandy beach. Wow, the mermaid must have swam a long, long way with Alan (try 1200 miles, the distance from Cape Cod to Nassau) because that is most definitely NOT Cape Cod! I'm pretty sure they're in the Caribbean (I looked it up and some scenes were filmed in the Bahamas). The fact that they're trying to pass this for Cape Cod is just hilarious. </p><p>Alan isn't unconscious for too long and when he gets up he sees a beautiful blonde woman crouching in the flora staring at him. Except for a beaded necklace adorned with seashells and her long hair covering certain body parts, she is completely naked. She walks up to him, kisses him (and not just a peck on the lips, it lasts for quite a few seconds), then jumps into the ocean and swims away. He calls for her to come back, then bemoans the fact that he never learned how to swim. When he turns his back to start walking away from the water, we see her jump into the air like a dolphin. I can only imagine his reaction if he had seen that!</p><p>We see her swimming underwater. This is not the <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2023/10/part-of-your-world.html">2023 version of The Little Mermaid</a> where they are using special effects to make it look like Daryl Hannah is underwater; no, she is actually swimming around underwater. There are many cuts so either she came up for air or was given a tube to breathe in before they shot again. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgUqtkmLXJgah1LbTUdXyBop2EBerD6sMl0SpWod-YJL-eEG3afDcYSM9BFl1f1vexDsMZl05li0aNmKA-p1Piw7VkwWIi6Q6iD8L--jSX6w3Ep2boxTzEjwJQ50nop0ccpO5hsmFgCUYyanZByTYxo07G06IjAsUeOt8pob4dzL2Qwbfeo5HcVkLt75eU" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="540" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgUqtkmLXJgah1LbTUdXyBop2EBerD6sMl0SpWod-YJL-eEG3afDcYSM9BFl1f1vexDsMZl05li0aNmKA-p1Piw7VkwWIi6Q6iD8L--jSX6w3Ep2boxTzEjwJQ50nop0ccpO5hsmFgCUYyanZByTYxo07G06IjAsUeOt8pob4dzL2Qwbfeo5HcVkLt75eU=w200-h200" width="200" /></a></div>The audience sees Walter in his scuba gear before she does. They are both surprised when they see each other. Walter tells her to "Wait a minute" so he can grab his camera to take a photo of her. This made me laugh because a) she doesn't understand what he's saying. Even if she did understand English, his voice is very muffled; and, b) she's not going to wait just so he can retrieve his camera and take a picture of her! <p></p><p>She has found Alan's wallet on the sea floor and takes it to a wrecked ship nearby where she finds an old timey map of New York. It's apparent that she's very familiar with this ship and what's on it. She's able to find out Alan lives in New York from his driver's license and uses the map of New York to figure out where it is, I guess. I'm not really sure how she does this without knowing any English. I would assume she also doesn't know the Latin alphabet either. </p><p>During a group tour of the Statue of Liberty, everyone is shocked when they see a completely nude woman walk towards them. They all start pointing their cameras at her and taking photos. While I'm sure this is the furthest from home she's ever been, we know she's seen humans (like on the boat when she was a young mermaid) so she has to know they wear clothes. You would think she would find something to cover up with. We next see her wearing a t-shirt and she's on a boat with the Coast Guard. Two guys are trying to figure out who she is and where she came from, but they soon realize she doesn't understand English. We get a funny exchange where one guys states, "She don't speak no English" and the other guy replies, "And you do?" Ha! Nice zinger. That would totally be my reply too.</p><p>They find the wallet she was carrying and she points to the picture of Alan, so they call him. He's at work when he gets the call and he practically sprints to the police station. He even double parks in front of two police cars...I'm sure the cops loved that! The blonde woman greets Alan with a long kiss and he takes her back to his apartment.</p><p>Okay, a couple things before I continue. First of all, I know it's annoying I keep referring to MADISON as "the blonde woman" or "the beautiful blonde", but this is because she hasn't received her name yet and I feel like it's not right to call her Madison (even though we all know that's her name!) So just bear with me...we're almost to that part of the movie and I can refer to her as Madison for the rest of the review, yay! Second of all, if this movie was made today, there would be a lot more depth to Alan and Madison's, excuse me, the beautiful blonde's relationship. Let's be honest: Alan only likes her because she's gorgeous and she keeps making out with him, right? It must be mermaid mating season because she cannot keep her hands off of him. It just seems to be a physical attraction (especially on Alan's end!) and if this movie was made today, they would, you know, actually have our two main characters get to know each other. Hell, they already kind of remade this movie with the 2023 version of <i>The Little Mermaid</i>, if you think about it! </p><p>After spending some "quality time" with his new "friend", Alan goes back to work in a cheerful mood, singing "Zippity Do Dah" and everyone is like "Wha-?" because it wasn't that long ago he was being a Debbie Downer. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh-77Ua9VK_ZRJjWBTR1zLER99aQgdREQq4aMJ8cV_k8bqE0QEpGnMN9isizXlog_jGb5NaL6MUMumEJYLOJzbaTlEmjiQwD-IDS0mBXMx2PJSgLDt6PtB10BHTk0TemyZWxQfdxhnk1oPPq1aq_1NdNtHb_hHGu6blDwx1NvVh5P6JfLt8v14GYl542dc" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="552" data-original-width="736" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh-77Ua9VK_ZRJjWBTR1zLER99aQgdREQq4aMJ8cV_k8bqE0QEpGnMN9isizXlog_jGb5NaL6MUMumEJYLOJzbaTlEmjiQwD-IDS0mBXMx2PJSgLDt6PtB10BHTk0TemyZWxQfdxhnk1oPPq1aq_1NdNtHb_hHGu6blDwx1NvVh5P6JfLt8v14GYl542dc=w200-h150" width="200" /></a></div>He has left his mysterious new friend at his apartment with the TV on. Look, I understand he likes this girl. I get it: she's pretty and she enjoys kissing him and being with him. However, I am shocked he just leaves a stranger alone in his apartment while he's gone! Isn't he worried that he might get robbed? Well, I guess he's too love struck to even think about that! But leaving someone you just met alone in your place, not a good idea. Anyway, the human mermaid gets inspired when she sees a commercial for the Ann Klein collection at Bloomingdales. The collection is fugly if you ask me, but it was 1984. Daryl Hannah wears a lot of extremely ugly outfits when her character is trying to fit in the world of New York. 1984 was a terrible year for fashion. But you know what she does look good in? One of Alan's suits. She goes outside wearing one of his suits (or his only one, probably) and she pulls it off quite well. She says "Bloomingdales" to the doorman and he hails a cab to take her there. When she gets out of the cab, the driver holds out his hand and she just hands him Alan's wallet. I'm not sure why she still has it. The driver just takes money out of it and hands it back. I wonder how much he took? Probably more than he should have, but at least he gave the wallet back! <p></p><p>After buying a bunch of ugly clothes (I realize they're not supposed to be ugly, but to my modern eye, they are!), she makes a stop at the antiquated technology department and starts watching all the shows that are on the TVs on display.</p><p>When Alan returns home after work, he realizes she's not there and he runs downstairs and asks the doorman if he's seen her and hurries to Bloomingdales. (I've been there!) By the time he gets there, the store is getting ready to close, but he convinces them to let him in. He runs all over the store and finds her in the electronics department, dancing to a Richard Simmons exercise tape. The manger tells Alan that she's been there for six hours! He also tells him that he told her it was closing time, but she didn't seem to understand and Alan tells him it's because she doesn't speak English. Right after he says that, she says, "Hello, Alan. How was you day?" in very clear English, then thanks the Boomingdale's employee for letting her use the televisions and that it "was very educational." </p><p>Now that she can communicate, Alan finally gets to ask her what her name is, but she tells him it's hard to say in English. We soon figure out why this is when she starts screeching like a dolphin and all the TV screens break. Uh...I hope he doesn't have to pay for all of those! Surely the store has insurance! </p><p>They walk back to Alan's apartment with Alan carrying her merchandise in two "big brown bags" and three huge boxes. He doesn't seem to mind that she purchased all of this with his money. He asks her why she hasn't said anything to him until now and she tells him because she didn't know English. Duh, Alan. But to be fair to him, he doesn't understand how she suddenly is fluent in it now. She tells him she learned it in the six hours when she was watching TV. Mermaids must learn at a much faster rate than normal humans because there is no way you could learn a language fluently in six hours! </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhp6sgQo46I45crq110AP6ACuW7EH02qGuC-39LTr6Gs93lZLSA7_kCIGmqBpPqvsotvp38kfUqEsY-VugBhnxWM7cNZEJE264iNcGaTTzx07pGTwTjxXtEoXmCAXMMNRL-2PFeOwxXC8G3E8UiEpoLA4DmpZ4X6p589U38h6KL3R2lLgoK0LVTTYovwu8" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="256" data-original-width="480" height="107" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhp6sgQo46I45crq110AP6ACuW7EH02qGuC-39LTr6Gs93lZLSA7_kCIGmqBpPqvsotvp38kfUqEsY-VugBhnxWM7cNZEJE264iNcGaTTzx07pGTwTjxXtEoXmCAXMMNRL-2PFeOwxXC8G3E8UiEpoLA4DmpZ4X6p589U38h6KL3R2lLgoK0LVTTYovwu8=w200-h107" width="200" /></a></div><br />It was hilarious when she kept running around to the stoplights or people singing on the corner or a place making pizza going, "What's that? What's that?" I was getting Buddy the Elf vibes from her. There is a moment easier in the movie that reminded me of Buddy when she goes through a revolving door, but keeps spinning around and around. Alan is especially shocked that she doesn't know what music is (hmm, I guess she's not from the same part of the ocean as Ariel and her singing sisters and Sebastian!) He asks her if she's American and she replies she's not...in her American accent. Okay, to be fair to the movie, it does make sense that she has an American accent since she's been watching American TV. He asks her how long she's gong to be in town and she tells him six days then the moon will be full and if she stays longer, she "can't ever go back." Hmmm, are we to believe that when the moon becomes full it will permanently make her a human? Alan just assumes it's some sort of "immigration problem." <p></p><p>Finally, finally, about 45 minutes into the movie, our human mermaid is given her name. Well, her pronounceable name! Alan tells her she needs a name and gives her a list of very common women's names. As they're coming up on Madison Avenue, he wonders out loud where they are and says "Madison" as he's reading the street sign. His female companion tells him she likes "Madison" and wants that to be her name. He sort of laughs her off and tells her it's not a name. Well, guess what, Alan, the joke's on you because it certainly is now! This is from the <i>Splash</i> Wikipedia article:</p><blockquote><p style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 34); color: #202122; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin: 0.5em 0px 1em;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Levitt" style="background-image: none; color: #795cb2; overflow-wrap: break-word; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Steven Levitt">Steven Levitt</a> and <a class="mw-redirect" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Dubner" style="background-image: none; color: #795cb2; overflow-wrap: break-word; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Stephen Dubner">Stephen Dubner</a>'s book <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freakonomics" style="background-image: none; color: #795cb2; overflow-wrap: break-word; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Freakonomics">Freakonomics</a></i> (2006) credits the film with popularizing the name <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madison_(name)" style="background-image: none; color: #795cb2; overflow-wrap: break-word; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Madison (name)">Madison</a> for girls, as does <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Pinker" style="background-image: none; color: #795cb2; overflow-wrap: break-word; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Steven Pinker">Steven Pinker</a>'s <i><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stuff_of_Thought" style="background-image: none; color: #795cb2; overflow-wrap: break-word; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" title="The Stuff of Thought">The Stuff of Thought</a></i> (2007). In the film, Hannah's character takes her name from <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madison_Avenue" style="background-image: none; color: #795cb2; overflow-wrap: break-word; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Madison Avenue">Madison Avenue</a> (itself named after President <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Madison" style="background-image: none; color: #795cb2; overflow-wrap: break-word; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" title="James Madison">James Madison</a>) after walking past a road sign. Hanks' character comments that it is not a real name as, at the time, it was a rather unusual name for a woman. However, in the years since the film was released in theaters and re-released on VHS and then DVD, the name's popularity has skyrocketed.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-Yahoo_35-0" style="font-size: 11.2px; line-height: 1; unicode-bidi: isolate; white-space: nowrap;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Splash_(film)#cite_note-Yahoo-35" style="background-image: none; color: #795cb2; overflow-wrap: break-word; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;">[35]</a></sup></p><p style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 34); color: #202122; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin: 0.5em 0px 1em;">According to the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_Security_Administration" style="background-image: none; color: #795cb2; overflow-wrap: break-word; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Social Security Administration">Social Security Administration</a>, the name Madison was the 216th most popular name in the United States for girls in 1990, the 29th most popular name for girls in 1995, and the third most popular name for girls in 2000.<sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-36" style="font-size: 11.2px; line-height: 1; unicode-bidi: isolate; white-space: nowrap;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Splash_(film)#cite_note-36" style="background-image: none; color: #795cb2; overflow-wrap: break-word; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;">[36]</a></sup> In 2005, the name cracked the top 50 most popular girls' names in the United Kingdom, and articles in British newspapers credit the film for the popularization</p></blockquote><p>The third most popular name for girls born in the U.S. in the year 2000! I can believe that too! I remember this name being VERY popular around that time. If this movie gave us anything, it was the popularization of the name "Madison". So Madison is born and Alan makes a joke that it was a good thing they weren't at 149th Street.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://64.media.tumblr.com/a44c4af42a5ef4140fa4d4f7cde0b4c0/tumblr_p5stdcBIAG1wpofxao1_250.gif" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="180" data-original-width="245" height="146" src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/a44c4af42a5ef4140fa4d4f7cde0b4c0/tumblr_p5stdcBIAG1wpofxao1_250.gif" width="200" /></a></div></div>In the middle of the night, Madison gets up and fills the tub, adding salt to it. She gets in and transforms to her mermaid form. I have to say, for the time, her fish tail and scales are very impressive. It's this beautiful red/orange color and looks very realistic. I love when she unfurls her tail at the end of the bathtub. Apparently it took five hours for Daryl Hannah to get into the tail which sounds like absolute hell. Five hours just to put the thing on, then who knows how long they film for! She had to be glued into the tail which is why it took so long. <p></p><p>Alan wakes up and hears the water running in the bathroom. He knocks on the door (which is locked) and asks her what she's doing and she tells him she's taking a bath. He asks if he can come in and she tells him no, then starts to panic and gets out of the tub, but since she doesn't have legs she falls to the floor with a thud. He gets concerned and tries to open the door, but she tells him everything is fine. She's frantically trying to dry her tail so her legs will reappear. Alan is still insisting that he needs to get in there; he tells her something is wrong and she needs to open the door. I don't like Alan in this scene. Yes, I realize he is worried for her well-being, but she is obviously fine as she's talking to him so it's not like she's unconscious. He breaks the door open and finds her laying on a rug, covered in towels. We see her spin around and it is revealed she has legs. She gets up and tells him she wouldn't let him in because she was shy. He is baffled by this because she wasn't shy in the car, elevator, bedroom, or on top of the fridge. Good Lord those two sure do move fast! And they haven't even known each other for 24 hours! I'm surprised that Alan didn't notice the box of salt that was sitting on the edge of the tub. </p><p>We return to Walter and his two moron assistants on the boat and he sees that one of them is reading <i>The Star Confidential </i>and the cover story is titled "Beauty Bares All at Statue of Liberty." He recognizes the woman as the mermaid he saw and demands to be taken back to shore. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhTlYbNRepUJuOcd_mBNSpPR85U7VPZS_Ft9TdtwOUdpBDhKZA0eLUXoh4Ou3GUBNYFzJvuwdhsJd5V_GBl4iduZ1XtzJApNid3BZaY0RxsoFHvGejmiC4QXZGJKrcQps0m3zZaJxxNk4CwRaxzDMMY8Ue-7t_Bfn930U3IwUZi-2AAaDpI8gJHw-IGNF4" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhTlYbNRepUJuOcd_mBNSpPR85U7VPZS_Ft9TdtwOUdpBDhKZA0eLUXoh4Ou3GUBNYFzJvuwdhsJd5V_GBl4iduZ1XtzJApNid3BZaY0RxsoFHvGejmiC4QXZGJKrcQps0m3zZaJxxNk4CwRaxzDMMY8Ue-7t_Bfn930U3IwUZi-2AAaDpI8gJHw-IGNF4=w200-h150" width="200" /></a></div>Alan brings home a gift for Madison, a baby blue Tiffany box with a white ribbon. She thinks the box is the gift and tells him it's beautiful and that she loves it, ha! He explains to her that the gift is inside so she opens it and finds two dancing figurines in a glass case. It is very twee. That's the only word I can think of to describe it. That evening the two of them are walking around and they come across a large fountain with a statue of a mermaid on a clam shell. Madison asks Alan if he likes it and he tells her he does, that it's always appealed to him. She asks him if he likes the sea and he replies no, then tells her about the accident he had on the ship when he was eight and fell overboard. (Uh, pretty sure he jumped intentionally!) She tells him "I remember", then when he gets confused by this, blames it on forgetting the word and she really meant to say "I understand." He almost tells her that when he was underwater he saw a mermaid but he doesn't admit it to her. So I guess we are to believe he's never shared his secret with anyone, though, let's be honest, nobody would believe him anyway. <p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhGbkb3qK-9anMN0m0jpzEMtUipA0fPrOjiGjiX1ViZcLuW0oL5dwRC-GiN2-43xhQcTwbPutchlcp_ke0r08_D4vYcO64FG3_1_OaLZXVvJTCjPYcLeJKvL_9SyZpcUZUmFox2SJm8EdpEeYnpLLRxXlOawghv-sbnqRP6T-vFdoysl9vEnPAMD9d_JdU" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1920" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhGbkb3qK-9anMN0m0jpzEMtUipA0fPrOjiGjiX1ViZcLuW0oL5dwRC-GiN2-43xhQcTwbPutchlcp_ke0r08_D4vYcO64FG3_1_OaLZXVvJTCjPYcLeJKvL_9SyZpcUZUmFox2SJm8EdpEeYnpLLRxXlOawghv-sbnqRP6T-vFdoysl9vEnPAMD9d_JdU=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div>The next day, when Alan comes home from the gym, Madison has a surprise for him. He sees a couple of guys with tools and a moving trolley leaving his apartment as he's coming back. Madison covers his eyes and leads him to his bedroom and it is revealed the huge mermaid statue is at the foot of his bed. His room must be huge if there's enough room between the foot of his bed and the wall to fit this massive statue. Granted, there's not much room anymore since this huge-ass statue is taking up all the space now! Alan agrees with me since his reply is "That's big! This is very...big! It's just so big!" (Ha! Do you think Tom Hanks was sending us a <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2013/12/coming-of-age.html">subliminal message?</a>) She tells him they were gonna tear it down so she bought it to give to him. One of my first questions of how did she pay for it is answered when he notices her necklace is missing and we learn that she traded it for the statue. Dang, that necklace must have been very valuable. But of course it's valuable; it probably has precious stones and gems from the sea that nobody has ever discovered. I bet her necklace is much more valuable than this statue and she got majorly gypped. It was pretty dumb and naive of her to trade her extremely rare necklace for a fountain that doesn't belong in a NYC apartment. (Or anywhere inside for that matter). Another question I have (one that didn't get answered) is how did she fit it through the front door of the apartment then though his bedroom door? I can assume there was a service door to the hotel and a service elevator that she was able to get the statue to the floor his apartment's on, but after that, how the hell did it even make it into his room? Did they have to take it apart? How long did that take and then to put it together? How did they fill it back with all that water? This whole thing just seems like a huge hassle that's not worth it. But I guess it was worth it to her because she tells him she traded her necklace for the fountain because she knows how much the fountain means to him and that she loves him. I don't know whether to "aww" or roll my eyes. Also, while he may like the fountain, I don't think he likes it THAT much! He tells her, "Madison, I love...this present." At first I thought he was going to say "Madison, I love you", but something was holding him back from saying that as we know he never said it to his last girlfriend and just in the previous scene he and his brother were having this very conversation, but then, like three seconds later he tells her he loves her. It was very anti-climatic. <p></p><p>Walter has come to the American Museum of Natural History (I've been there!) to tell them about the mermaid. None of them believe him and are angry that he wasted their time. He decides he's going to prove to all of them that the girl in the paper is a mermaid. He's on a mission to soak Madison with water so everyone will see that he's right. He must have figured out where she was because he's waiting for them in his car outside Alan's apartment and when he sees them leave and walk down the sidewalk, he gets out of the car and retrieves two large buckets full of water from the backseat. The fact that he was driving around with two large buckets full of water is just amusing to me. He hurries after them, running through crowds of people, water sloshing from the buckets. It looked like he was doing a challenge from <i>Survivor</i>. He sees a blonde woman in a turquoise coat (the same color Madison is wearing) looking at a window display and throws the water on her. Of course, it's not Madison and he gets slugged by the woman's husband. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjgtZrq2jog-qHrkkIp0nOIjCs1kSnzdNyz6T0KBNHwYqVsumtHdYGZ2Tt6lW7HtCNISHCFzy9WjsN-fME83F_7_n_TBtPA1wdnbl9O0HRH6HJe6TCOzlBaQgiNIps4nfVRVZmglS_di-t3n3aTiAZf7QBgVC9j2-VzPEIIBYZjp94priOHpdQHRZZ_qHI" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="284" data-original-width="505" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjgtZrq2jog-qHrkkIp0nOIjCs1kSnzdNyz6T0KBNHwYqVsumtHdYGZ2Tt6lW7HtCNISHCFzy9WjsN-fME83F_7_n_TBtPA1wdnbl9O0HRH6HJe6TCOzlBaQgiNIps4nfVRVZmglS_di-t3n3aTiAZf7QBgVC9j2-VzPEIIBYZjp94priOHpdQHRZZ_qHI=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div>Alan and Madison have gone to have dinner at a fancy restaurant. Alan is playing with his silverware and he accidentally sends the spoon flying to a nearby table. It reminded me of something out of <i>Big</i>. He tells Madison that she doesn't need to leave the country, that he could give her a job at the market or she could "marry, like, an American." It's adorable how awkward he is in this scened. I believe there's a word for this: adorkable. Thy each have a huge lobster and Madison just picks her up and starts eating it, shell and all. Um, I'm pretty sure at a fancy restaurant like this they would leave the lobster in the shell, but crack the shell for you so you wouldn't have to do that. But Madison is just biting into the shell and eating it (ugh!) and everyone, including the piano piano, who stops paying for a few seconds, is staring at her. <p></p><p>After dinner, they go ice skating at Rockefeller Center (that ice rink looks so dinky!) and when they take a break, he tells her he wants to talk about what happened at the restaurant and she tells him that's how they eat lobster where she comes from. But he tells her that he wasn't talking about that, that earlier he was trying to ask her something, but "did it very badly". He wanted to know if she wanted to get married. Yes, he did a pretty poor job of asking her that. He then proposes to her and she looks very distraught and tells him "No." He asks "No? Just no? You don't wanna think about it? You don't wanna kick it around?" I mean, to be fair to Madison, they've only known each other for three days. It's a terrible idea for them to get married. She tells him she can't marry him and she can't tell him why. That has to be frustrating for Alan. He tells her that he knows she has "some big secret that you think she can't tell me, but you can." She replies she has three days left and wants to "make them wonderful." I get why Alan is frustrated, but he's being pretty pouty. They see an older, happy couple skating and she comments how happy they look and he replies they should be happy because they get to spend their lives together. He ends up upsetting her and she runs off.</p><p>It starts raining and he's looking everywhere for her. She's hiding in an alley, trying to keep dry. (Yep, that would be pretty awkward if she got caught in the rain!) She comes back to him the next day and simply tells him "Yes", then adds that before they get married, she needs to tell him everything, but she's not ready to tell him today. </p><p>They go back to his building and get on the elevator to head up to his apartment. In the lobby, we see a guy mopping. We don't see his face, but I knew it was going to be Walter. (I was right, though the cast he was wearing on his arm probably gave it away. That guy really did a number on him.) I thought he was going to dump the dirty mop water on Madison, but I guess even he thought that was too extreme. After Madison and Alan get on the elevator he races up the stairs to their floor. He gets there before the elevator and grabs his camera which he had hiding behind a large potted plot and breaks the glass containing the firehose. He has it aimed at the elevator doors and when they open he sprays the occupants inside it. Those two people just so happen to be the same woman and her husband from earlier. What are the odds of that in a huge city like New York? Once again, the man pummels Walter.</p><p>Where are Alan and Madison, you ask? They have come back down to the lobby because Alan decides that they're going to get hitched in Maryland because you don't need a blood test there like you do in New York to get married. So this greatly confused me because why would you need a blood test to get married? Is it to make sure you're not related to your potential spouse? I looked this up and apparently it was to "prevent people with STDs from obtaining marriage licenses and passing the disease to a spouse or children of the marriage." Uh, do they realize you don't need to be married to pass it on? This is no longer the case, but it was only in 2019 where all 50 states abolished this rule. Look at that! I learned something from a forty-year-old Tom Hanks movie! </p><p>Alan suddenly remembers that they're supposed to go to a political dinner with the POTUS as a speaker, but he says they can go after. Don't ask me why he was invited to some big fancy dinner with the President as the Guest of Honor. I'm sure it was explained, but I just forgot. But it is part of the plot, so that's why it's in here. </p><p>At the banquet, we see Walter in the kitchen, posing as a waiter in a red coat. He tells the head chef that the union sent him. I'm not sure that's exactly how it works. Don't they need to vet these people first to make sure they're not a danger to the President? Not only that, but as the head chef, I would be concerned that one of my waiters has a broken arm, a neck brace, and one of the lenses in his glasses are shattered. Somehow, Walter has managed to sneak a hose attached to two canisters which he has hiding under his waiter's jacket and it's so obvious he's got something hiding under there. How did he even get past security with this stuff? I know it was 1984, but sheesh! Unless it was already there? I think I'm asking questions I'm not supposed to be asking. So obviously Walter is attempting to spray Madison with the hose (don't even ask me how he knew they were gonna be here; he must have just followed them), but I thought he was accidentally going to spray the President instead. (No, that one couple was not in attendance.) But the secret service are doing their job. When Walter is carrying a bowl of rolls towards Madison, one of them sees him with this huge hump under his coat and talks into his earpiece, telling the others, "Table five. Intercept busboy with suspicious hump." Just as they see him reaching for the hose that's inside his jacket, they quickly and quietly surround him and escort him out as he's telling them what he's doing has "nothing to do with the president." Ha! Like they believe that. </p><p>During the president's speech, Madison tells Alan that it's time for her to tell him. He's surprised she wants to do it now, and frankly, so am I. She doesn't want to do it in the dining room with all these people (good call), so they get up to leave. Walter is outside with the secret service team and the press when they walk out. Alan sees him and tells Madison that he knows that guy. He remembers seeing him on the beach on Cape Cod. Walter sees them and he grabs the hose to spray Madison. Guess the secret service didn't do a good job of restraining him! I was a little confused why she didn't run away when she saw him reaching for it, then figured she probably didn't know what it was until he started spraying her. She falls and all the cameras are flashing. It makes sense now why they have this random banquet with the President; they needed the media there to capture this. Everyone is looking at her with shocked expressions and the camera pans back to reveal she has transferred to a mermaid. She's calling for Alan to help her, but he can only stare in shock at her. The secret service take her to a research facility at the Natural History Museum that is heavily guarded. </p><p>They must have also taken Alan (whether he went willingly or they had to force him, we never see) because the next scene shows him in a tank of water. He is standing, completely naked, covering his groin with his hands. There are wires to monitor him. I guess since he was with Madison they think he might be a merman. It's hilarious when he yells, "I am not a fish!" We soon find out he's been in that tank for TWELVE HOURS so I can't blame him for being more than a little agitated. The scientists bring in Madison because they want to see some "interaction". It soon becomes clear to them that Alan is just a mere man (not a merman!) and the next thing he knows, he's being let out of a van, blindfolded, at his apartment building. He is surrounded by reporters ready to pounce and ask him about the mermaid, but he is saved by Freddie who pulls up in his car and drives them to their business. Everyone there is staring at him and Freddie says "What are you looking at? You've never seen a guy who slept with a fish before?" I mean, when you say it like that, ew. Also, I don't think mermaids would appreciate being called fish and she was technically a human when she was with him as she had legs and other parts of the right anatomy, I assume. So she was 100% a human when he was with her; he never "slept with a fish". </p><p>Alan is upset he met a woman that he really liked, but she isn't even (truly) a human. Freddie tells him he's lucky that he even met someone to make him feel that way and not everyone is as lucky as he is. </p><p>Walter is in the lab where they have Madison in the tank, hooked up to all kinds of machines for testing. He starts to grow a conscious and thinks she looks a little pale. The main scientist, Dr Ross, wants to do a few more tests, than thinks she'll be ready for "the internal examination." Yikes! Walter questions this and Dr. Ross tells him he wants to study her pulmonary system and reproductive organs among other things. Actually, it would be fascinating to know know how a mermaid breathes.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgUBFzuToks2XKxglopjhdlqz2QnMZ2cMiir0UCm8MB9ad1LaeBgOsFkSw8ZRDDbtlqRjVtpbjB1Kxsb6v6axXgEE3ct5aLffRCpBYroLBHxuPFg3vSew-n4q2u2ea8v-0Tk9mZZlGMm1q1jBOWfNNPr_VtKEqHM5oSEP_brzuYAtbvOoz0w9MkHK--Xc4" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="505" data-original-width="939" height="108" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgUBFzuToks2XKxglopjhdlqz2QnMZ2cMiir0UCm8MB9ad1LaeBgOsFkSw8ZRDDbtlqRjVtpbjB1Kxsb6v6axXgEE3ct5aLffRCpBYroLBHxuPFg3vSew-n4q2u2ea8v-0Tk9mZZlGMm1q1jBOWfNNPr_VtKEqHM5oSEP_brzuYAtbvOoz0w9MkHK--Xc4=w200-h108" width="200" /></a></div><br />Alan finds Walter who is feeling guilty about what he did. He apologizes and said he did it because he had to prove to people he wasn't crazy. He tells Alan he can help him get into the lab to see her. We next see Alan and Freddie dressed in lab coats, following Walter into the museum. Before they enter the restricted area, Walter tells the posted officer there that he is with "Doctors Jarred and Johannsen from the Stockholm Institute." The guard says he thought they were coming in later with Dr. Ross, but Walter tells him that was just to fool the press. The guard seems content with this answer and is about to let them in, but then he tells the brothers that he just so happens to be half-Swedish (of course he is) and starts talking to them in Swedish. The brothers reply "Ja!" when he asks how their trip was. This sort of raises a bit of suspicion in the guard and in Swedish, he asks, "What are two Swedish scientists doing so far from Sweden?" (What, Swedish scientists can't leave their country to study something they might be experts in? This is a really stupid question, I'm sorry.) Freddie replies, in Swedish, "Hey, baby! I got a twelve inch penis." Uh....for some reason, this explains everything to the guard and he lets them through the secured door. The hell? If anything, that should make him even more suspicious. And in case you're wondering how Freddie knew how to say that in Swedish, it's because it's from a Swedish porno he's seen at least 500 times, so he's memorized certain lines. Freddie is a bit of a pervert. When we first meet him as a child in the flashback on the boat, he's dropping change, then using it as an excuse to look up women's skirts when he's behind down. It's pretty cringe-y when he's a ten-year-old child doing this, but then they show him doing it at the wedding he attends with Alan at the beginning of the movie as a thirty-something man and it's downright pathetic. (Not to mention offensively gross). Also, nobody seems to notice he's doing it and I'm shocked he didn't get bitch slapped. <p></p><p>There's another guard posted at the door of the room Madison is in and they manage to get through without any questions. Madison and Alan share a passionate kiss and Alan jokingly asks her if the big secret she's been keeping from him is that she's a mermaid or is there something else. She tells him not to feel guilty about not loving her anymore. Uh, he's happy to see you and he ran up to kiss you; obviously he loves you. She realizes that he does love her and this makes her very happy. </p><p>To distract the guard, Walter comes out, all panicky and demands him to stand back. He goes back in and comes out second later with Alan and they are carrying what is clearly Madison, but she' covered in towels and rags. They tell him it's the other doctor and that when he went to examine the mermaid, "these rays came out of her eyes." The guard is about to go in, but they warn him not to or "she'll melt your face right off." Walter also instructs him not to let anyone else in the room and tells him he'll be back with nuclear weapons. I'm surprised the guy didn't notice the difference in weight (the person they were carrying was clearly not an overweight man!) or ask to double check to see who they were carrying out. Once Madison is in the passenger seat of Alan's car, she takes off her disguise. She's also been dried off so she has legs. </p><p>We see Dr. Ross with the two actual Swedish scientists. When the first guard realizes who they are, he tells that that Dr. Kornbluth left with what he thought were the two visiting Swedes not that long ago. They immediately check the room with the tank and Freddie is sitting with his feet in the water and has a fishing pole. (Where did they find a fishing pole?) Once they realize their mermaid is missing, everyone is sent out to find her and bring her back. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiAb3GEmhsyBcvHPKHq87j0jFMS8knnDnpEUVDBYmlMksPPIzKZ3HsgTd-1i8MVVAc6CC8t4Bn7idfavCHhSxFL1A9LIS-x3zx1wHSSilXsEmJF6jjVS1eXxDKgT5yvUjoamWwCd43aUfHYbb4NTep47g85bFmJU6x8SO9kykleGn4dgsRGaMiKDtDVlnk" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1040" data-original-width="1920" height="108" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiAb3GEmhsyBcvHPKHq87j0jFMS8knnDnpEUVDBYmlMksPPIzKZ3HsgTd-1i8MVVAc6CC8t4Bn7idfavCHhSxFL1A9LIS-x3zx1wHSSilXsEmJF6jjVS1eXxDKgT5yvUjoamWwCd43aUfHYbb4NTep47g85bFmJU6x8SO9kykleGn4dgsRGaMiKDtDVlnk=w200-h108" width="200" /></a></div><p></p><p>They soon realize they're being pursued and when they're in an alley, Walter tells Alan to stop the car so he can get out and slow them down. As he tells Madison, "I caused all this. Now, I'm gonna finish it." He's let out and Alan and Madison continue driving away. Walter stands in front of an oncoming armored truck and puts his hand out as though he's a traffic cop attempting to stop traffic. The car doesn't show any signs of slowing down or stopping so he has to jump out of the way. </p><p>After a few minutes of being chased, Alan drives near the Hudson River and they get out and embrace. Madison tells him, "I was ready to stay with you forever." He tells her that since they know who she is, they're never going to leave her alone. And you know that everyone in the world knows about her, or will soon know about her. I don't think groundbreaking news like this traveled as fast as it does now than it did in 1984, but the entire world will soon find out about this. He says he wishes he could go with her (do you really, Alan?) and she tells him he can. This is when he finds out that she was the young mermaid he saw in the water when he "fell" overboard. I'm honestly shocked he didn't figure this out already when he found out Madison was a mermaid. Like, duh, of course she was the young blonde mermaid he saw when he was a child! She asks him if he felt safe when he was with her and he says he did and she says this is because he was with her. Uh, he was only in the water for less than thirty seconds. I think going to live underwater permanetly is quite a different thing! You know, Walter really did mess everything up. If it hadn't been for him, Alan and Madison could have been living a happy life together on land. Alan thinks everything will work out though. He can go live with Madison in the depths of the ocean and come back and visit Freddie at Christmas. Just like Hannah Montana, he'll get the best of both worlds! Madison bursts his bubble when she tells him he'll never be able to return. I'm not sure if this is because they'll still be looking for him or he will have adapted to life under the sea ("is better than anything they got up there!") and will physically be unable to come back to land, but I'm guessing it's the former because Madison was able to come to land with no problems. Now Alan isn't so sure anymore and Madison realizes he's not coming with her and she tells him she understands. The trucks and cars and helicopters are getting closer and she dives into the river. </p><p>It takes a few seconds for Alan to realize he does want to be with her and jumps into the river. He still can't swim (great idea going to live with your mermaid girlfriend in the water when you can't swim) and immediately starts sinking. The tac team have now put on their scuba gear and are diving in to retrieve him. Madison swims up to Alan and kisses him and I guess her underwater kiss has granted him the ability to breathe underwater and swim. That's one powerful kiss! They fight off the men and swim away. Apparently the Hudson River is full of coral and tropical fish! As they're swimming, a schmaltzy song starts playing and immediately I was reminded of the schmaltzy song that is played at the end of <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2021/08/fox-is-wolf.html">Teen Wolf</a>. Here are the lyrics that play while Alan and Madison are swimming:</p><p></p><blockquote>One fine day love came for me. And love was rare as love can be. I saw stars shining in clear blue skies. We flowed together once and forever. Love came for me. One fine night love let us see how far we'll go, how good we'll be. We saw a world no one ever saw before. It was the world love can start with a beat of a heart. Love came for me.</blockquote><p>Who wrote that? A five-year-old? That being said, the lyrics to the <i>Teen Wolf </i>song are worse if you can believe it. </p><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiqd23FtmkftW6_YOCDWpHm1wp5QnbQvFLRWAF6Sne-Ikc1_vGmLiKOyJMTZfaBBP_mYdra6_FezYDEGaVyHz7Wd-ZzqgSqY84X1QR2yhm0C9St0Iqy1raidAVnVwoQFhD4DQM_FYHPdISECXZe68SX9z5sikAKPhsoYfvf0wBlCHPoFgUgYcGYEORmk3c" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1040" data-original-width="1920" height="108" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiqd23FtmkftW6_YOCDWpHm1wp5QnbQvFLRWAF6Sne-Ikc1_vGmLiKOyJMTZfaBBP_mYdra6_FezYDEGaVyHz7Wd-ZzqgSqY84X1QR2yhm0C9St0Iqy1raidAVnVwoQFhD4DQM_FYHPdISECXZe68SX9z5sikAKPhsoYfvf0wBlCHPoFgUgYcGYEORmk3c=w200-h108" width="200" /></a></div>They reach some kind of Atlantis-esque underwater empire and the movie ends. Will Alan ever evolve and get a fish tail or will he be stuck with legs? Also, I have a hard time believing that Madison will be able to protect him if they're attacked by a shark. I realize he may be happy with his decisions because he loves Madison, but, really, what is there to do in the ocean? I feel like he's going to get bored very soon once the thrill of being with Madison wears off. It's not like you can read or watch TV in the ocean! They don't even have music (at least Ariel and her sisters had that to entertain them!). Call my cynical, but this just seems like the worst idea in the history of mankind to follow a woman you've only known for six days. It would be crazy enough if he had only known her for six days and moved to a different country, but she lives in the freaking ocean! Hell, it would be crazy is he had known her for six days and went sailing around the world with her on a boat, but, again, she lives IN the ocean. There's no way he's going to be happy with his decision! <br /> <p></p>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-5911267126778463742023-12-24T21:20:00.000-06:002023-12-24T21:20:30.317-06:00Do You Want To Build a Snowman? <div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Jack Frost</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Director: Troy Miller</div><div style="text-align: left;">Cast: Michael Keaton, Kelly Preston, Joseph Cross, Mark Addy</div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: December 11, 1998</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMTY2ODE5ODc2Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNDg2NzY3._V1_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="267" data-original-width="400" height="267" src="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMTY2ODE5ODc2Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNDg2NzY3._V1_.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">This is a weird movie. I had never seen it before until now, but the only think I knew was that Michael Keaton's character dies and he is reincarnated into a snowman with the help of his young son. The first half hour of the movie he is alive and, well, honestly, I kept waiting for him to die. (Well, I knew it was eventually going to come!) He plays Jack Frost (yes, that's his real name; who names their child 'Jack Frost'?) and he's in a band called The Jack Frost Band (very original) that sometimes get air time in the small town they live in, Medford, Colorado. The radio station seems to pride itself on playing music from the '70s and '90s and promises it won't play anything from the '60s or '80s. Wouldn't it make more sense to play something from two consecutive decades? I would rank the '70s as my least favorite for music from those four decades, so I wouldn't be listening to that station! The Jack Frost Band has a song called "Frosty the Snowman." No, it's not a cover; it's an original song. At the beginning of the movie, we see them playing and a talent agent is there and is just so amazed by them. :::whispers:::: They're not that good. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Jack is married to Gabby (Kelly Preston) and they have a ten-year-old son named Charlie (Joseph Cross). Charlie is on the hockey team and he wants his dad to attend the big game. His dad has band practice or a gig or something to do with his band, but he promises Charlie he'll be there. When he's saying this, I thought for sure he was going to get killed in an accident while driving there, but that doesn't happen. He does miss the game and Gabby is furious with him since he promised Charlie he would be there. He apologizes to Charlie and gives him a harmonica that's special to him because he got it the day Charlie was born. He tells Charlie it's a "magical" harmonica because he can hear it whenever Charlie plays it, no matter where he is. Since Christmas is near, he tells Charlie that he has a great idea of the three of them spending the day at their cabin in the mountains with no distractions and have a nice family Christmas and Charlie loves this idea.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Somewhere between this scene and before Christmas Eve, Jack and his son build a snowman and Charlie tells his dad it looks like him (it doesn't) because it's wearing his hat or something. I don't know. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/empire-tmdb/films/9745/images/3PRXD9ntyhuAjLDltma2cEuid3Y.jpg?ar=16%3A9&fit=crop&crop=top&auto=format&w=1440&q=80" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="113" src="https://images.bauerhosting.com/legacy/empire-tmdb/films/9745/images/3PRXD9ntyhuAjLDltma2cEuid3Y.jpg?ar=16%3A9&fit=crop&crop=top&auto=format&w=1440&q=80" width="200" /></a></div>On Christmas Eve they've got the car packed and are ready to go to the cabin, but Jack gets a phone call from a big name label that wants to listen to The Jack Frost Band and potentially sign them. When he tells this to his family, they are ecstatic for him, but when he reveals he has to do it tomorrow (which is Christmas Day), they are not so happy. Gabby is a little more understanding and asks him how long he would have to play. He says only a couple songs, it wouldn't be a full set. Both him and Gabby think he'll be able to play the set, but still be able to spend time at the cabin. Charlie, however, is not happy about this at all and he gives his dad he harmonica back, telling him he doesn't want it anymore. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Jack and his friend, Mac (Mark Addy), who's also the band's keyboardist, are driving to the gig in one car while the rest of the band and equipment are following them in a van. At one point, Jack tells Mac to pull over. He has decided he needs to be with his family and that they're more important than his career. He takes Mac's car and its now dark and snowy and the windshield wipers won't work and he's driving through a windy mountain road and I knew this was when he was going to die. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Ironically, if he had just stayed with his band, he not only would have (most likely) still been alive, but he probably would have had a very lucrative career and I'm sure his son would have forgiven him for missing the Christmas when he was ten. But now he's dead and Gabby is working two jobs: we see her as a teller at the bank and a teacher at Charlie's school. Well, maybe she's just volunteering at the school; I wasn't really sure. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">After the car careens off the mountain, the screen goes black, then we are given a title card saying that it's one year later. This surprised me somewhat because I was thinking the snowman that Charlie and his dad had built was the one that is reincarnated into Jack. But it does make sense that they let a year go by because it would be a lot to deal with in this family comedy if we had to see how a young boy copes with the death of his father right after it happens. He's still pretty torn up about it a year later which is understandable. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">He has withdrawn from his friends and has quit the hockey team. One of his friends is played by Andy Lawrence and I'm like, okay, that's the one who wasn't on <i>Blossom</i> or <i>Boy Meets World</i>. Mika Boorem plays another friend who is also on the hockey team and I think she lives next door to him and I think she has a crush on Charlie, but they don't really explore that. We also never see them walk home together, so I may be wrong on her being his next door neighbor. There's also a bully named Rory who picks on Charlie and we see this in a scene before Jack dies and Charlie is usually able to get the upper hand on Rory. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">One snowy evening, Charlie builds a snowman while "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac plays over the scene. He draws the snowman's mouth in the snow instead of using material like most kids would do, but this is probably for the sake of the production of the snowman (which was created with puppetry and some CGI). He's wearing a hat (the one that made him look like Jack) and a red scarf. He has a cork for a nose and his eyebrows are made out of pine needles, which I thought was clever. I can't tell what his eyes are made out of. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.slashfilm.com/img/gallery/will-there-ever-be-a-jack-frost-2-heres-what-we-know/intro-1637031349.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="438" data-original-width="780" height="113" src="https://www.slashfilm.com/img/gallery/will-there-ever-be-a-jack-frost-2-heres-what-we-know/intro-1637031349.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Even though Charlie gave the harmonica to his dad before he died, he has it back and starts playing it in his room. We see some wind whip around the snowman and <i>voila!, </i>he comes alive. Okay, if I had built a snowman and it came alive, I would be terrified. Espeically if it looked like this snowman. And Charlie is terrified. Jack doesn't seem to realize he's a snowman until he sees his reflection in the mirror and even that doesn't deter him from people seeing him walk around town. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/films/2018/12/17/TELEMMGLPICT000183872526_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqSFsEvrd-tGLDVtPKyl4SRkaqFIY0EmuYg2ka_l5grhE.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="800" height="125" src="https://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/films/2018/12/17/TELEMMGLPICT000183872526_trans_NvBQzQNjv4BqSFsEvrd-tGLDVtPKyl4SRkaqFIY0EmuYg2ka_l5grhE.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div>When Charlie is pelted by snowballs the next day by Rory the bully, Snowman Jack has followed him and starts launching snowballs at Rory, just like that scene in <i>Elf </i>when Buddy pelts snowballs at the kids. Rory and his minions start chasing after him and Snowman Jack saves the day by rescuing him on a sled and they go down the mountain (I didn't even realize they were on top of a mountain in the first place) with the bully entourage chasing him with sleds and snowboards set to some very '90s song. I did some research and found it was "Hey Now Now" by Swirl 360, a song or a group I'm pretty sure I've never heard of in my life...and I was around in the' 90s. The song is so '90s it simultaneously made me cringe and feel nostalgic. While they're sledding down the mountain, Snowman Jack says, "I'm the man! No, I'm the snowman!" Insert groan here. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Since the snowman helped Charlie escape the big bully and the little bullies, he thinks it might actually be his dad, so he asks him a few simple questions that his dad should know, right? Wrong! Jack gets them both wrong! But then he calls Charlie "Charlie-boy" while he's talking to him and Charlie is all, "What did you call me?" And this is his proof that the snowman is his dad. Really? I honestly feel like any random person could just guess that "Charlie-boy" is his nickname. I don't think that would be enough proof for me, but it's enough for this eleven-year-old. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I mentioned that this was the first time seeing this movie and while watching it, I thought that perhaps the snowman isn't actually sentient; perhaps it's all in Charlie's minds and he's just imagining it to be alive because his grief is still so fresh. Charlie tells his dad that he came alive as a snowman after he played the harmonica and says he didn't know it really was magical and even Jack admits that he was bs-ing him when he said that. Being that this is just an ordinary harmonica, I wondered if Charlie had created this fantasy when he played the harmonica. However, there were a few scenes that made me question if this could actually be the case. Snowman Jacks tells Charlie he's hungry, so they go back to the house where Charlie gives him frozen vegetables (I guess that's what snowmen eat? Why would a snowman even need to eat anything? It's a snowman!) and while they're in the kitchen, they don't hear Gabby's car pull up. She's walking towards the house and notices the snowman isn't there. Snowman Jack is hiding in the pantry and Charlie tries to distract his other until the snowman can go back to the front yard where it was. When Gabby opens the blinds, she sees the snowman back in its place and just thinks she's losing her mind. The only thing I could explain for this scenario if the snowman isn't sentient is that Charlie brought in the snowman himself (Gabby did mention the floor was all wet). </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Charlie isn't the only one to witness a talking and moving snowman; his hockey coach sees Snowman Jack when Jack, who seems to forget that he's a freaking talking snowman, stops the coach in his car to ask him something and the man just screams. We will see later that he's being interviewed on TV about it and when the reporter asks if there were any other witnesses around (heh, clearly she doesn't believe him), he can only tell her no. Also, when Rory was chasing Charlie down the mountain, Snowman Jack comes up from behind him to wipe him out and Rory sees a snowman on a sled and he screams, "Ahhh! Snowman!" </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So those two examples don't really help my case that the living snowman is all in Charlie's mind. Even though it's still December and we got a couple months of winter left, the weather is getting warmer and if Charlie doesn't help him, he's going to turn into a puddle. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://ihavenothingtowatchhome.files.wordpress.com/2019/12/jack-frost.jpg?w=1024" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="471" data-original-width="800" height="118" src="https://ihavenothingtowatchhome.files.wordpress.com/2019/12/jack-frost.jpg?w=1024" width="200" /></a></div>After some heart to hearts with his snowman dad, Chatrlie has decided to rejoin the hockey team and Snowman Jack goes all the way to the rec center or wherever they have hockey games and watch his son play hockey since he always missed it when he was alive. The best thing about this movie is the adorable pet dog Charlie has named Chester and he uses the dog to pull a sled. By this time Snowman Jack knows he can't just be walking about since he's a freaking snowman so he has the dog pull him on a sled. You might be thinking the dog was a husky or a Samoyed, but it was a Wire Fox Terrier; at least that's what Google told me. I knew it was a terrier, but I had to look up what breed it was. But whatever it is, it is an absolutely adorable dog and easily the best part of there movie.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So Snowman Jack makes it to his son's hockey game (don't worry, he's not sitting with the rest of the spectators, he's sort of hidden...somewhere) and he only sees about the last fifteen seconds of the game, but Charlie scores a goal and he's able to see that, whoopee. After the game, Charlie doesn't seem one bit surprised that he's there. He does notice his snowman dad needs to get somewhere colder because he's starting to melt. He runs to the bank his mom works at, telling her she needs to help him and admits the snowman is her deceased husband. Of course she doesn't believe him and basically tells him she's not driving a snowman up a mountain. I mean, can you blame her? She had seen him talking to the snowman and was worried about him, but never did she think it was this bad! She runs after him, but he's gone, so she goes to see if Mac can help. By this time, Charlie has spotted an alpine tree truck heading towards the mountain so he decides to get his snowman dad on the truck. He does this with the help of Rory, of all people. At first, Rory taunts the boy, but then Snowman Jack talks to him, startling the boy. It kind of reminded me when Woody talks to Sid, but Rory handles a sentiment snowman way better than Sid handled a sentient toy. I probably would be more like Sid. Rory has grown up without a dad...I think he's in jail, maybe? I don't know, but he knows what it's like to not have a dad so this makes the two boys bond, I guess, and he helps Charlie get Snowman Jack in the truck. Charlie also rides with him even though Snowman Jack could easily just jump out of the truck when the truck reaches the top, but I guess they need Charlie here as part of the plot. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So they go to the top of the mountain and jump out and slide down. There's lots of snow and it's very beautiful, but the jacket Charlie is wearing looks very light. Maybe it's one of those coats that are warmer than it looks. I also noticed that this kid never wears a scarf or anything to cover his neck or lower face and I can just imagine how cold he must get. Maybe it wasn't as cold as it looked, I don't know. Maybe I'm just a wimp when it comes to cold weather and I like to bundle up. But luckily, they are near their cabin, so Charlie is able to get warmed up on the couch in front of the fire. We don't see who made the fire, but how f***ed up would that be if the snowman made it? </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">It's now dark outside and you can imagine that Gabby is besides herself with worry because her son not only thinks his dead dad is a snowman, but he's also missing. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, when she and Mac are looking for him, we see them go down a street, just missing Charlie and Snowman Jack jumping onto the truck. Gabby gets a phone call and it's Snowman Jack telling her that Charlie is safe and he's at the cabin. Gabby wants to know who's calling her, then realizes it sounds like Jack's voice and when she says "Jack"? he hangs up. I would be a little concerned if I were her and would probably call the cops to accompany me to the cabin. Who knows if this is some sick creep who kidnapped Charlie and maybe he knew Jack so he's able to impersonate his voice and now he's trying to lure Gabby into his trap. Just saying!</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">But Gabby drive-up alone and there's nothing to worry about because it's just a sentient snowman who's her deceased husband. I guess the magical curse or whatever you want to call it wears off because the snowman disappears, but then we see Michael Keaton with a glow emitting from him as he says goodbye to his son and wife for the final time. By the time Gabby witness this, I knew for a fact that Michael Keaton was really a sentient snowman this entire time and Charlie wasn't just imagining it. I sort of figured this out earlier, but kept trying to tell myself that they would explain the odd things. No, it's a real f***ing snowman! That was brought to life by a regular old harmonica! O-kay! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Another thing I felt they never address or maybe I just missed it, was if Gabby and Charlie knew that Jack was coming to see them at the cabin last year at Christmas? Did they figure out when they realized his car was coming towards them? But his car flew off a mountain, so how would they know if he was going towards the cabin or away from them? I kept waiting for Snowman Jack to tell Charlie this, but he never does. Maybe he just didn't want to make Charlie feel guilty. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I suppose this could be classified as a Christmas movie and even though it's set around Christmas and there's a Christmas tree and Christmas decorations, it just doesn't feel like a Christmas movie. It feels more like a winter movie, you know, with the winter sports like hockey and snowboarding and, duh, the snowman. When I was looking up the song that played during the sledding scene, I noticed there were Christmas songs listed, but I honestly don't even remember hearing them. I doubt this is on anyone's top ten Christmas movie list, let alone top fifty! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Okay, bye. </div>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-20894732635613520302023-12-20T14:39:00.002-06:002023-12-20T14:39:29.010-06:00Santa Slay<div><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Violent Night</span></b></div><div>Director: Tommy Wirkola </div><div>Cast: David Harbour, John Leguizamo, Alex Hassell, Beverly D'Angelo</div><div>Released: December 2, 2022</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.syfy.com/sites/syfy/files/2022/12/violent_night.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="800" height="266" src="https://www.syfy.com/sites/syfy/files/2022/12/violent_night.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div>I feel like this movie was made because of the "Is <i>Die Hard</i> a Christmas movie?" debate. Because this movie is basically <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2016/12/ho-ho-ho-merry-christmas_8.html">Die Hard</a>except Santa Claus (David Harbour; guess he had a little break from<i> Stranger Things</i>) is now taking the role of John McClane. And, for the record, I definitely think <i>Die Hard</i> is a Christmas movie (it takes place at a Christmas party, there's Christmas songs, there's a Christmas tree, and who can forget the dead terrorist wearing a Santa hat and the message John McClane left for the deceased's friends: "Now I have a machine gun. Ho, ho, ho." However, despite all that, I think it is easy to forget it's a Christmas movie once it gets going because it's not saturated in Christmas-y goodness. Also, it takes place in a warm weather location and I need my Christmas movies to have snow, damnit! This movie, on the other hand, you don't forget it's Christmas. There's snow, there's Christmas decorations (complete with a large Christmas tree), there's plenty of Christmas music, there's nods to other Christmas movies, and Santa Claus (the REAL Santa Claus, this isn't some mall Santa!) plays a big part. </div><div><br /></div><div>It's Christmas Eve and we first meet Santa at a pub in London where he's "taking a break between shifts". There's another man dressed as Santa who tells the real Santa he's been doing this gig for four years now and the real Santa tells him he's lost count of how long he's been doing it and forget why he started in the first place. The faux Santa tells him it's for the money (do mall Santas really make that much? I guess it might be some nice extra money during the holidays) and Santa tells him that "this whole planet runs on greed." This is a very cynical Santa. He has noticed that kids just want the next present as soon as they open one, that "they just want care, consume." He thinks this might be his last Christmas. </div><div><br /></div><div>Santa had mentioned he needed to get back to his sleigh to deliver the rest of the presents and the barmaid and mall Santa had just chuckled at this, but when he gets up to leave, he hands the barmaid a gift for her grandson which has his name on it, then leaves out the door that leads to the roof. The woman wants to know how he even knows her grandson's name or how he even knows she has a grandson, then chases him out the door once she realizes he's on the roof. She doesn't seem him, but then sees a sleigh and reindeer flying and he flies over her and pukes on her head. We're really setting the tone for this movie. Now, I can handle a bad guy getting his eye gorged out with a sharp star ornament (spoiler alert!), but someone getting vomit on their head? Ugh, no thanks. I could have done without that! </div><div><br /></div><div>We're now in Greenwich, Connecticut, where we will stay for the rest of the film. We meet Trudy, a girl of about eight or so (I thought she was six, but we find out later she's older than six, but I am horrible at trying to figure out how old kids are!) and she is the epitome of pureness and goodness. Her parents, Jason (Alex Hassell) and Linda (Alexis Louder) are separated (we find out why later in the film), but they are coming together for their daughter's sake to spend Christmas at Jason's mother's mansion. </div><div><br /></div><div>When Trudy and her mom pick up her dad, she tells him, "Merry Christmas, Daddy, ya filthy animal" and we find out that she watched <i>Home Alone </i>the night before. I thought this was just a fun little shoutout to a classic Christmas movie, but this will actually come back in a big way later. </div><div><br /></div><div>Gertrude Lightstone, the matriarch of the family is played by Beverly D'Angelo and I have to admit I didn't recognize her at first, especially because her voice is so raspy. It is a fun little wink that they got the mother/wife from <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2012/12/christmas-with-griswolds.html">National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation</a>. The Lightstones are very wealthy from their company (something involving oil, maybe? I don't really know exactly how they made their fortune) and Gertrude (no mention of her husband, so he's out of the picture whether he's dead or they're divorced) lives in a compound so huge that it's gated and a guy works at the little post at the front of the gate and lets people in and out of the grounds. The guy's name? Al. That cannot be a coincidence. This guy was clearly named after one Sergeant Al Powell (Reginald VelJohson's character from <i>Die Hard</i>). Honestly, they might as well just named him Carl Winslow and we would have gotten the wink. But unlike <i>Die Hard </i>Al, who survives the movie (pretty sure he survives the entire franchise), this Al will not make it and as soon as I saw him let Trudy and her parents through the gates, I go, Oh, this guy isn't making it out of this movie alive. (Spoiler alert: I was right). </div><div><br /></div><div>You know, for a mansion with huge grounds, they were pretty stingy with the outdoor decorations. I saw a lit-up deer, a wreath, and a few lights that were wrapped around tree trunks. The inside was a little more festive at least, but, man, that outside was lacking. I guess since nobody can see their house from the outside since it's hidden from view and it's on a private road, they don't think it's worth to decorate the exterior. </div><div><br /></div><div>We meet the rest of the Lightstones who aren't the most likable of people. Gertrude is very foul-mouthed and doesn't have any qualms about swearing in front of her young granddaughter (who Trudy is named after, although Gertrude thinks her nickname makes her sound like "a whore"). Her grown children seem to be a little scared of her and accuse the other of always sucking up to her. Jason has a sister named Alva (Edi Patterson) who tells him she thinks this is the year their mom is gonna choose one of them to "start running the show." </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://scenebefore.files.wordpress.com/2022/12/mv5bmdhlzdk4y2mtota2ny00ntnhltlhodmtnju5ntc1zdhimwzmxkeyxkfqcgdeqxvymtm2otkzmjiw._v1_.jpg?w=1000&h=700&crop=1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="560" data-original-width="800" height="140" src="https://scenebefore.files.wordpress.com/2022/12/mv5bmdhlzdk4y2mtota2ny00ntnhltlhodmtnju5ntc1zdhimwzmxkeyxkfqcgdeqxvymtm2otkzmjiw._v1_.jpg?w=1000&h=700&crop=1" width="200" /></a></div>Alva has a 14/15 year old son named Bert. His real name is Bertrude (she was attempting to name him after her mother) and he's just your typical rich douchey teen who isn't very bright. We don't know anything about Bert's father, but Alva is dating an actor named Morgan Steel (Cam Gigandet) who is famous in "parts of Asia", but other than that, nobody would ever recognize him or care about him. He and Alva are trying to get up the nerve to ask Gertrude to fund a movie for him. Morgan is also a bit of an idiot. When we first meet him, he's telling Alva that if he were on one of the planes that was hijacked on 9/11, he would have saved everyone. At that moment, I figured he, too, wasn't going to survive this movie. I knew Trudy and her parents would make it, but, honestly, wasn't sure about Gertrude, Alva, or Bert. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://universaldork.files.wordpress.com/2022/12/screenshot_20221206-190416_samsung-internet2.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="576" data-original-width="800" height="144" src="https://universaldork.files.wordpress.com/2022/12/screenshot_20221206-190416_samsung-internet2.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Before getting ready for bed, Trudy shows her parents the homemade cookies she's made for Santa. Actually, I think someone else must have made them and she just decorated them with frosting. She's worried that Santa won't know which of the many chimneys to go down and her mother tells her that Santa "just knows" because of "Christmas magic". Trudy is worried that Santa doesn't know what she wants for Christmas because her dad never took her to see him at the mall. Jason looks extremely guilty and tells her to put on her pajamas and he'll be right back. We see him open a closet full of board games and other random junk until he finds a Walkie Talkie with an ear piece which he wraps and gives to his daughter, telling her she can open one present tonight (am I the only one whose family opens presents on Christmas Eve?). He tells her the Walkie Talkie is a "direct hotline to Santa" and she can communicate with him that way, but warns her that Santa probably won't answer because he's very busy tonight delivering presents. Heh, nice save to explain why she won't be getting any reply!</div><div><br /></div><div>Trudy is enthralled by the gift and immediately starts talking to "Santa". Her parents leave and they can hear her talking behind the closed door. She tells "Santa" she was extra good this year and wrote him a list with all the stuff she wanted, but the she realized she didn't really need any of that stuff and instead the only presents she really wants for Christmas is for "Mommy and Daddy to make up so we can be a family again." Boy, that's enough to make any parent feel guilty!</div><div><br /></div><div>At the house, there's a bunch of catering people and other people hired for the holiday party. Right away, I could spot the bad guys who are sprinkled among the workers. They were the ones that gave sinister looks or weren't smiling. I understand they need to find a way to get the bad guys in the house, but it's literally just Gertrude and six other people. There are more workers than family members; it seems a little overkill to have all those extra people there, but again, I understand it's part of the plot. </div><div><br /></div><div>Before Santa will inevitably arrive at this house, we get a funny montage of him delivering presents and you can tell he's just so over it. At one house, you see a bunch of Amazon packages under the tree and that made me chuckle. At another house he finds a list where a kid has told him he just wants "cash" and "video games". Aren't kids supposed to tell Santa what they want BEFORE Christmas so he already has it with him? Duh. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://64.media.tumblr.com/d8d44d62f866015eb6d4f33f6ae3aac4/40139b7c87d917ea-84/s540x810/378edc7905c4884e958758e98a834727a5351ea5.gif" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="540" height="113" src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/d8d44d62f866015eb6d4f33f6ae3aac4/40139b7c87d917ea-84/s540x810/378edc7905c4884e958758e98a834727a5351ea5.gif" width="200" /></a></div>When Santa arrives at the Lighstone mansion, he really enjoys the cookies and especially likes the fact that they're homemade. I loved the "mmmm, mmmm, mmmm!" sound he makes. However, he's not fond of the skim milk and pours it out in an ice bucket and goes for some brandy that he sees sitting on a shelf and comments, "That's the stuff." He thinks the brandy "pairs well" with the cookie. He also finds a massage chair he sits in and starts to use and I'm thinking, Santa sure is spending a lot of time here! Isn't he on a tight schedule? He's only in Connecticut, he still needs to do the rest of North America; who knows if he's even been to Central and South America yet! Tick tock, Santa! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></div><div>Our bad guys soon take over after their leader, who calls himself Scrooge (John Leguizamo), shows up and kills Al (poor Al never had a chance), then enters the house where all the security and staff are killed too. Those poor people never had a chance, either. Scrooge has a team of people and they're all given Christmas code names: Gingerbread, Candy Cane, Peppermint, Jingle, Sugarplum, Krampus, Frosty, Tinsel." I'll tell you right now: Gingerbread, Candy Cane, and Krampus are really the only ones that have the most screen time. Gingerbread cuts the phone lines so no one can call for help. It is funny that Scrooge gave his team these code names since he hates Christmas (hence why his name is Scrooge). </div><div><br /></div><div>Before they start killing the staff and security, Jason and Linda have a conversation. We find out they're estranged because Gertrude keeps coming between them and causing rifts. He tells Linda that they can just walk away from his family and the company and never have to see them or deal with them again. Before he can continue, gunfire is heard downstairs. Santa, still in the massage chair, also hears this too. </div><div><br /></div><div>Scrooge instructs two of his cronies to bring all the Lightstones to the living room and to kill anyone else they find. Santa is hiding in a room with a fireplace and he tries to use his magic (by touching his nose) to go up the chimney, but it won't work. Tinsel finds him and they get into a fight. Tinsel starts firing his gun, but when Santa tries to get the gun away from him, he ends up shooting at the roof and the reindeer are scared off and fly away. Let's just say Tinsel has a gruesome death when ends up impaled on a large icicle decoration right below the window. Santa also ends up outside and is about to get the hell out of there, but when he looks up he can see a scared looking Trudy in the living room with the rest of her family, so he decides he's going to stay and get help.</div><div><br /></div><div>In the living room, we learn that Scrooge has "spent months planning a complex break-in to the most secure private residence in the country." We also learn that he's there to take $300 million in cash that he knows is in the vault. </div><div><br /></div><div>We get more stupidity from Morgan when he tells Alva that this reminds him of a scene from one of his movies called <i>Dark Ransom</i> and if these guys didn't have guns, he could take out three or four of them. </div><div><br /></div><div>Gertrude tells Scrooge that if he had done his research, he would know that her brother was kidnapped in the '70s, but her father never called the police, but instead sent in their own private extraction team and her brother was home a week later and the kidnappers were never found. He tells her he knows all about that and her extraction team and how long it's going to take them to get there. (Surely the extraction team they have now isn't the same one they had in the '70s, because those guys would be old). </div><div><br /></div><div>The bad guys are communicating by radio and Candy Cane calls Scrooge when she finds the impaled Tinsel. </div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, in another room, Santa is trying to call for help, but the phones are dead. He hears Frosty approaching him and reaches in his bag of toys (bag of tricks?) to find a weapon, but all he seems to pull out are video games. His sack looks empty, but the way it works, you reach in and a gift comes out. Even though all of these gifts are wrapped (in the same red and white striped wrapping; where's the fun in that?), Santa always seems to know what it is. There is one moment he pulls out a small toy guitar that's easy to tell what it is because of the shape. We get a funny line where he mutters, "Doesn't anyone ever ask for a bat or a sword or Molotov cocktails?" The best he can come up with is a doll which he uses to bash Frosty on the head with after sneaking up on him. Santa reaches in to see what else he can find and there's a nice little wink when he pulls out <i>Die Hard</i> on Blu-ray. Of course, since the gifts are wrapped, Santa has to say what it is out loud for our benefit. </div><div><br /></div><div>Even though Frosty gets knocked in the head a few times with a stocking full of pool/billiard balls (they're in a room with a pool table), he is still conscious. (Frosty the Iron Man?) Somehow he gets the upper hand on Santa, having him in a tight grasp. In their struggle, the Christmas tree (I think they must have a Christmas tree in every room or maybe it just seems that way) has fallen over. Santa starts reaching for ornaments to smash against Frosty's head, but nothing works. Finally he reaches for the pointy Christmas tree star topper and jams it in his eye. Yes, this is the scene I'd rather watch than someone getting puke on their head. Okay, maybe I'm being a little hyperbolic, but I really can't stand vomit. Frosty is still alive (owww!), but Santa turns his lights out ironically when he plugs in the string of lights it was attached to and it electrocutes him. </div><div><br /></div><div>Santa collects Frosty's radio and hears Scrooge, Gingerbread, and Candy Cane talking about how the Kill Squad (what Gertrude calls her extraction team) won't be there for another two hours. Santa tries to see if he can call for help by trying a different channel, but gets Trudy, who asks, "Can you hear me, Santa?" Before this whole scene, we had seen Trudy on the couch talking into the ear pierce. Now while nobody is sitting right next to her, there are still people in the room (obviously, since they're being held hostage) and surely they can hear her end of the conversation. I guess they just think she's playing pretend and not actually talking to a live person, let alone the real Santa! I guess this is why they gave her an ear pierce to talk into! </div><div><br /></div><div>She tells Santa her name and he takes out his magical scroll which shows any name he needs to look up and whether they're on the "Nice" or "Naughty" list and traits on why they're either one. (All the bad guys are on the naughty list; what a shock. Although, to be honest, I'm surprised there are adults on the list; I would think it would only be reserved for children.) I paused the movie to see all the reasons why Trudy is on the nice list: </div><div>-sweet to everyone</div><div>-listens to parents</div><div>-kind to animals</div><div>-kept room clean</div><div>And the one that made me laugh:</div><div>-invited weird kid to party </div><div><br /></div><div>From their conversation, Santa realizes there are still six bad guys left. He tells her he's going to help her and her family and asks if she has any suggestion and she must tell him about the phone at the front gates, but when he gets there he finds Al dead and the phone line dead. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://static1.srcdn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/violent-night-scrooge-john-leguizamo.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="800" height="100" src="https://static1.srcdn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/violent-night-scrooge-john-leguizamo.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>In the surveillance room with all the video footage of the house, Scrooge finds out there's "a Santa Claus running around" and Candy Cane tells him there's no Santa listed on the employee manifest. When he tries to check in with Frosty on the radio, Santa answers and basically taunts Scrooge by saying, "Frosty? Is that the naughty guy I met in the basement? Your friend is dead." When Scrooge gets confirmation that he is talking to their "Santy Claus" and asks what he wants, Santa tells him he wants him to put down their weapons and leave and let this family go. He also adds, "I want to find my reindeer and I want to continue delivering my presents." The three bad guys are just looking at each other with amused looks and Scrooge asks him, "Are you f**ing kidding me?" He demands to know who he really is and thinks he might be "some security guard who's watched too many action flicks." Santa tells Scrooge they need to talk in person and adds in a sinister voice, "Santa Claus is coming to town!" I mean, technically, Santa is not only in the same town, but also in the same property, but I get what they were trying to do and it's still pretty funny. </div><div><br /></div><div>Santa puts the radio away and we see that he's bleeding quite heavily (he was gashed on his side with a sharp object when fighting with Frosty) so he goes into a room where he bandages his wound with wrapping paper. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://static1.moviewebimages.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/beverrlydangeloviolentnight.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="420" data-original-width="800" height="105" src="https://static1.moviewebimages.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2022/12/beverrlydangeloviolentnight.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Meanwhile, Scrooge and the others go to the living room and he demands Gertrude to tell him who Santa Claus is, but she tells him she didn't hire one; that she never has a Santa because "it's tacky." Scrooge grabs a nutcracker from the mantel and tells them if someone doesn't tell him who this Santa is, he's going to start torturing someone with it. Unfortunately, for Jason, he's the one chosen. Trudy, who was whimpering in her mother's arms, gets up and yells, "Sop hurting my daddy or Santa will get mad!" This gets Scrooge's attention and he asks her what she knows about Santa. Before she can reply, Jason says she doesn't know anything about the Santa that's running around, and Linda adds that she's playing make believe and pretending to talk to Santa. Trudy insists she really is talking to Santa, adding that he's her friend and that he's going to save them and beat up Scrooge (glaring at him while she tells him this). Scrooge tells her, "I bet he'd come out of hiding if you asked him to." Jason tells her to tell the truth, that she really isn't talking to Santa, but Trudy won't deny it. Finally, he snaps, "Damn it, Trudy, Santa isn't real!" There are hilarious reactions from everyone, including the bad guys (especially the bad guys!) when they realize he's dashed her childhood dreams and basically ruined Christmas for her. He realizes he's upset Trudy and apologizes to her and admits that he and her mom give her the presents and just tell her they're from Santa. He adds that Santa isn't saving them because he doesn't exist. Trudy is upset and runs out of the room. Her mom starts to run after her, but Gingerbread stops her from leaving and Candy Cane is sent to look for her. </div><div><br /></div><div>This brings me to a point I've brought up in other movies that deal with Santa Claus existing in that film's universe: if Santa is real, wouldn't everyone know about it? Who do they think is leaving all the gifts under the tree? The other parent or the grandparents? I understand why they have people (usually adults) not believing him in because it is a fun reveal when they do realize he's real, but surely if he was real, the secret would be out. </div><div><br /></div><div>Trudy hides in the attic and calls Santa on the radio to tell him where she is. Seeing them chat on the Walkie-Talkies felt very <i>Die Hard</i> to me. However, Trudy has another movie on her mind. She tells Santa that she "can set up booby traps, like in <i>Home Alone</i>." Santa replies that he doesn't know what that means, but she should do it quietly. I guess Santa doesn't have time to watch Christmas movies since he's preoccupied with other stuff around that time of year! </div><div><br /></div><div>She asks him if he really is Santa Claus and that her dad told her that Santa isn't real and that her parents give her gifts and say they're from Santa. Santa tells her that a lot of parents say that to their kids, but that he "still brings presents to kids that need me; kids who really believe." He tells her that he remembers she wrote to him when she was six (I seriously thought she was six right now, so I'm guessing she's eight) and in her letter she told him she felt lonely so he brought her Mr. Bunny, her stuffed rabbit that's already been introduced to the audience. He also remembers when she wrote and told him she had a dream where she flew and her Christmas wish was to fly. He said that even though he had magic, he didn't have the magical ability to make a little girl fly (can make reindeer fly, though! Just saying, Santa!) and gave her a kite for that Christmas. This confirms for Trudy that he is the real Santa. </div><div><br /></div><div>Santa tells her not to be too hard on her parents because "grown-ups have a hard time believing in things." Trudy asks if he can use his Christmas magic to have her parents reconcile, but he tells her it doesn't work like that. He says that he and Mrs Claus are going on year 1100 and that "grown up relationships are complicated." </div><div><br /></div><div>We get some backstory on Santa when we (and Trudy) find out that he had a life before this "a long, long, long time ago." He used to be called "Nicomund the Red" (because he had red hair, I presume) and he was a viking/warrior and he used to be "a warrior, a raider, a thief" and had a large hammer he called Skullcrusher and you can guess why it was named that! Trudy asks him why he used to do those things and he tells her because he was "mean" and "greedy" and that if there was a "naughty list" back then, he'd be at the top of it. So how the hell did this guy become Santa Claus? We really need an origin story for this Santa! </div><div><br /></div><div>It makes sense that this Santa has a background of being a brutal warrior and is no stranger to killing people. I mean, can you imagine if 1994 Richard Attenborough's Santa from <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2014/12/christmas-classic-remake.html">Miracle on 34th Street</a> found himself in this predicament? He wouldn't be making it out alive. No pop culture Santa would. You just can't throw a good and pure-hearted Santa into this situation and just have him act like he's John McClane! </div><div><div><br /></div><div>Trudy tells him maybe he can use all the bad things he's done in the past to do "good things instead." She says that he's "good and kind" and he can help her family and adds "You mean more than just the presents you bring. That's why I believe in you, Santa." Damn it, Trudy, stop making me cry! (Disclaimer: I actually didn't cry during this movie, but if I had, this would have been the scene to bring me closest to tears.) He tells her to stay hidden until he can get to her. </div></div><div><br /></div><div>Back in the living room, Krampus wants them to open their presents because he wants to see what "rich a-holes get each other" and that they might as well see what they got for Christmas before they die. Morgan uses this opportunity to give his present to Gertrude which is a pitch for the movie he wants her to fund and he adds that this is "a gift of a golden opportunity" Alva gives her mother "a sentimental photo of the day [she] was born." Ha, I honestly don't know which gift is worse. They're both very self-involved. Gertrude wants to see Jason's presents, but he tells her he left it in the car. Bert tells him he remembers seeing him put a gift under the tree, but Jason insists it's in the car. Now, I admit, at first I thought he was trying to use that as an excuse to go to his car and drive away and get help, but obviously they weren't going to let him leave just to get a gift out of his car. Or they would have someone (with a gun) escort him. Krampus grabs the gift and it's whiskey, but when Gertrude reads the note, she doesn't look too pleased. Alva wants to know what the card says, but she tells her it's between her and Jason. </div><div><br /></div><div>We get another update that the extraction team will be arriving in thirty minutes and we see the team getting prepared to leave with their leader, Commander Thorp, telling them to take care of "any idiot who gets in their way." </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.syfy.com/sites/syfy/files/2022/10/2561_d006_00161r_crop.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="530" data-original-width="800" height="133" src="https://www.syfy.com/sites/syfy/files/2022/10/2561_d006_00161r_crop.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Okay, let's yada yada through some action scenes that brings Santa to being tied up to a chair with Christmas lights and Scrooge, Gingerbread, and Candy Cane questioning him. They're in a room that's right below the attic and Trudy is able to hear (and see a little bit) through a grate on the floor. Candy Cane notices that he's not armed and the only thing he's carrying is his bag. Gingerbread reaches into the bag and pulls out a wrapped presents and after opening it, Scrooge asks, "What kind of moron carries a chess set with him?" Gingerbread keeps pulling out more gifts and Scrooge asks, "What's the gimmick with the bag?" and Santa replies that it's "Christmas magic" and even he doesn't know exactly how it works. </div><div><br /></div><div>When Scrooge asks who he is, he lists a bunch of names including "<i>Weihnachtsmann"</i>, <i>"Babbo Natale"</i>, "<i>Pere Noel"</i>, "Kris Kringle", "Jolly old Saint Nick", and that "people call [him] a lot of things." Gingerbread wants to know where his reindeer are and he says they ran off because they were scared by the gunfire. Candy Cane is gullible enough that she starts to believe that he actually may the real Santa, but Scrooge isn't buying any of it. He throws the bag into the fire which enrages Santa. </div><div><br /></div><div>We get to hear the backstory of why Scrooge hates Christmas. Little Jimmy Martinez (his real name) didn't use to always hate it, but when was 11/12/13 (I can't remember how old he said he was), his dad got laid off and they didn't have a Christmas that year because they weren't able to afford anything, but their neighbors had gone all out for Christmas and he felt like they were rubbing salt in the wound, I guess, so he snuck into their house on Christmas Eve to steal their presents (his code name should have been Grinch!), but the grandfather was up to use the bathroom and he was scared by seeing an intruder and fell down the stairs and broke his neck, then later died in the hospital. I was a little confused because Scrooge says that everyone accused him of doing it, then says he may have pushed the old man. Well, whether he pushed him or not, he was the one to cause him to hurt himself since he was the one who scared the old man! I get that it's worse if he purposely pushed him. Also, if Gramps fell down the stairs, why did Jimmy even go upstairs in the first place? Or did Gramps just hear/ see someone downstairs and got startled and fell? I'm a little confused when I probably shouldn't even give this any thought. Also, Phoebe Cates called and she would like to say her character in <i>Gremlins</i> had a <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2017/12/do-you-hear-what-i-hear.html">much worse Christmas memory</a> (third paragraph from the bottom, but seriously, does anyone not know what I'm talking about?) </div><div><br /></div><div>Santa calls them by their real names and while Gingerbread and Candy Cane (I don't remember what their real names were) wonders how he knows their names, Scrooge doesn't really question it. He points a gun to Santa's head and tells him he has five seconds to tell them who he really is and he's not accepting "Santa Claus" as an answer. Before he can pull the trigger, they're distracted because "snow" is starting to fall and Candy Cane thinks he's "doing this with his Santa magic." Well, of course, it's just Trudy who has dumped a bunch of Styrofoam bits through the grate. </div><div><br /></div><div>During all this distraction, Santa is able to knok himself over and use his magic to go up the chimney. The others had their backs turned, but Gingerbread saw the last few seconds of it and Scrooge thinks there are rigs and pulleys to help him do that "trick". </div><div><br /></div><div>Okay, now is the time I'm going to put a spoiler warning up. I don't think anything I've mentioned so far has been too spoiler-y. There's a couple of twists coming up (though I predicted one and I should have realized the other one) and I will be revealing (if anyone) if any of the hostages or anyone else of importance dies. </div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-size: x-large;">SPOILER ALERT IN 3....2.....1!</span> </div><div><br /></div><div>Everyone can hear the extraction team (there must be about 30 of them?) approaching on their snow mobiles. Morgan and Bert taunt Krampus that they are about to be saved. Morgan, feeling confident, I guess, punches him, but when Krampus begins to fight back, Morgan runs and jumps out the widow (I guess he was feeling like he was in an action movie) and tells the extraction team he's one of the hostages.</div><div><br /></div><div>Okay. When we first heard about the extraction team and were given updates of when they would arrive, I knew they would be working for Scrooge now. For one thing, there was just too much time left for the hostages to be rescued. For another thing, I just found it so super obvious. And I was right. Morgan is shot and killed. Totally called it that he would die.</div><div><br /></div><div>Commander Thorp is given the update by Scrooge about the Santa running around and he has his men posted around the property to keep an eye out for him. He joins Scrooge and a few others in the room with the vault, attempting to open it. Obviously, Scrooge has promised Thorp a share of the money for his help. He has a key that will help open it. Ironically, while they're working on opening it, Thorp shares an anecdote of when he was a kid he loved opening presents so much, that his mother would give him empty wrapped boxes for him so he could unwrap them and he didn't care if anything was inside. Sheesh, what a waste of paper! Well, guess what? The vault opens....and nothing is inside! I bet he cares now! </div><div><br /></div><div>Scrooge doesn't understand how this could have happen because he had "rock solid" intel and he knows that 300 million in cash was delivered to this residence yesterday. He thinks "somebody must have intercepted it." Do you remember the card Jason wrote to his mom? He was the one who took the money and told his mom in the card. Of course, he thought he would be long gone with it and his wife and daughter and that his mom would find out about it the next morning when she read the note. He only reveals this to Scrooge when he's about to shoot Linda because he doesn't think an in-law would know about the money. He and Gertrude (not really sure why she goes with them) lead him out to a life-size replica of a manger and the money is hidden in the hay. He gives orders to Krampus to kill the remaining hostages, but they are able to overtake him and kill him by beating him with some fire pokers.</div><div><br /></div><div>While all that is going on, Santa is in a tool shed (one that's the size of a barn) where he finds a sledgehammer and this helps him single-handedly kill a bunch of the Kill Squad set to Bryan Adams' "Christmas Time" (which I always thought was called "Something About Christmas Time"). Other fun Christmas-y weapons of choice include an ice skate blade and a candy cane shiv. That reminds me; I haven't had a candy cane yet this holiday season! What is wrong with me? </div><div><br /></div><div>Now we get to the part of the film that me me simultaneously made me laugh and cover my eyes in horror while I cringed. I call this the R-rated <i>Home Alone</i> scene. Trudy has managed to set up a few traps and I was amazed that she set all this up in a couple hours, tops, but the I realized that in <i>Home Alone</i> it took Kevin a couple hours to set up all his traps which seems insane. Gingerbread and Candy Cane are walking through the upstairs hall when they see a board of nails (the sharp sides facing up, of course) on the floor and the ladder that leads to the attic is down with a nail on one of the rungs. Gingerbread calls up to her, "Booby traps don't work unless you hide them." Trudy hears him and radios Santa to tell him the bad guys have found her and he says he's on his way.</div><div><br /></div><div>Gingerbread climbs the ladder, but Trudy has done something to one of the rungs so it's lose and he falls and his chin lands on the nail. Ahhhhhh, no! I honestly think that was way worse than the dude who got a star ornament stuck in his eye. Candy Cane climbs over him and enters the attic, but Trudy has lined up about five or six bowling balls and released them so they bounce off a small trampoline and roll towards her. She is able to get out of the way and they end up falling on Gingerbread. By this time he has lifted his chin off the nail (owwwwwwwwww) and one of the bowling balls knocks him into the board of nails. He pulls a nail out of his butt and stupidly looks closely to it. I wasn't really sure what he was doing, but it was very close to his eye and I was cringing hard just waiting for the last bowling ball to drop and send the nail in his eyes. Well, instead of his eye, it jabs him right in the middle of the forehead and he falls over, dead. So are you still on the nice list if you kill someone even if it's in self defense? </div><div><br /></div><div>After Trudy gets stuck in super glue and steps on ornaments (she had to take her shoes off), she's getting pissed off. The only contraption Trudy has left is a slingshot that doesn't really do anything but make the woman even more irate. Candy Cane takes out her gun, but here comes Santa to save the day. He's just like Old Man Marley! But instead of a shovel, he has a sledgehammer. Since she's still alive, he finishes her off. Now, isn't Santa a murderer in this scene? Yes, he has killed many other people this night, but that was in self defense, but here Candy Cane is pretty defenseless. Yes, she is a bad person, but maybe they should have tied her up and let the cops deal with her. </div><div><br /></div><div>Santa and Trudy meet up with the others in the living room and nobody really questions who this man dressed like Santa is, probably since they know he's helping them. Santa and Linda go outside to eliminate some of the men that are with Jason and Gertrude. There's some tense moments and many of the Kill Squad are killed, but Scrooge and Thorp (and maybe a couple more) are able to get away with the money on the snow mobiles. Jason and Linda passionately kiss when they realize they're both safe (for the moment) and Trudy sees this. </div><div><br /></div><div>We soon get to our stand off between Santa and Scrooge and Scrooge realizes that this is the real Santa when he gets his hands on the scroll and sees his name on the naughty list. Here are some of the reasons why he made that list:</div><div>-killed his best friend</div><div>-spreads misery</div><div>-thief</div><div>-broke his mother's heart</div><div>-greedy</div><div>-murderer</div><div>-hates Christmas</div><div>-selfish</div><div><br /></div><div>Okay, what if you hate Christmas, but you're not a murderer? Would you still be on the naughty list? This proves to Scrooge that Santa is real. Now Scrooge wants to kill him so Christmas will end forever. He gets the upper hand on Santa, but Santa kills him by stuffing him up a chimney. Don't even ask me how that worked, but it certainly looked like an unpleasant death. Oh, and Thorp is killed by Gertrude so all our bad guys are dead as far as I know. </div><div><br /></div><div>Santa isn't doing too well and the others are gathered around him. He's cold and there are fires around him from the snow mobile crashes, but they're going out so they need to find something to burn to keep them going. Jason grabs the money from the snowmobiles and Alva isn't happy about that. </div><div><br /></div><div>Santa tells Trudy he thinks he used up all his Christmas magic and that he's sorry he didn't give her what she asked for, but Trudy tells him that he did. He dies (I thought he was just unconscious, but it is confirmed that he's dead) and I'm thinking, Wow, this movie is really gonna kill off Santa. Jason comments that "whoever he was, he was a brave man." Trudy insist that he's Santa and that she'll always believe in Santa. This makes everyone go around saying they also believe in Santa. (Linda believes in him because he saved Trudy and saved their family). Santa wakes up and Jason is shocked because he was dead. Santa replies, "Christmas magic." Jason tells him he doesn't know how he'll ever replay him, but Santa tells him since he brought him back from the dead, they'll call it even. I mean, are we sure he just wasn't unconscious? </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://images2.minutemediacdn.com/image/fetch/w_2000,h_2000,c_fit/https%3A%2F%2Famazonadviser.com%2Ffiles%2Fimage-exchange%2F2017%2F07%2Fie_95948.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="800" height="133" src="https://images2.minutemediacdn.com/image/fetch/w_2000,h_2000,c_fit/https%3A%2F%2Famazonadviser.com%2Ffiles%2Fimage-exchange%2F2017%2F07%2Fie_95948.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div>Trudy sees the reindeer have come back and Santa goes over to inspect them. Apparently they flew all the way back to the North Pole and got his spare stack and Mrs. Claus put Skullcrusher in the sleigh for him with a note that reads "Thought you might need this too! Mrs. C." A little too late for that now, Mrs Claus! I wonder how she even knew her husband needed that? Can the reindeer communicate with her somehow? I loved how she signed it Mrs. C., but I guess we don't know her first name. It's too bad we never meet her because I want to see who would be married to this Santa. I also want to know how the hell this man became Santa in the first place. </div>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-81496728100149885092023-12-10T18:01:00.001-06:002023-12-10T18:02:08.226-06:00You'll Shoot Your Eye Out! <div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">A Christmas Story</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Director: Bob Clark</div><div style="text-align: left;">Cast: Peter Billingsley, Melinda Dillon, Darren McGavin</div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: November 18, 1983</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh_bdmWRkwXlnbqf1oxTzjpwewWirnvTJ88MDC1m_iwJoMTSlUVb1Dbq9qMXMfW0FamEtoDMr0qPFzi75ntfMs1f7OrXBErLrlHKOhzdLBOXsozv4wDkMoErxhcd6G9ZzrtSU9tw0qFezU1cI6r__q5WrB8cGezG5nKEZ1Go3ypvkijPreviaj5PFxm5bQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1500" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh_bdmWRkwXlnbqf1oxTzjpwewWirnvTJ88MDC1m_iwJoMTSlUVb1Dbq9qMXMfW0FamEtoDMr0qPFzi75ntfMs1f7OrXBErLrlHKOhzdLBOXsozv4wDkMoErxhcd6G9ZzrtSU9tw0qFezU1cI6r__q5WrB8cGezG5nKEZ1Go3ypvkijPreviaj5PFxm5bQ=w400-h266" width="400" /></a></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I know this movie is a Christmas staple for most people, but, honestly, it wouldn't even make my top ten holiday movies. What are those ten movies, you ask? Well, I would have to give it some real thought, but I know<i> Home Alone</i>, <i>Elf</i>, and <i>National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation</i> would be on there.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I think this was the second time in my life I have seen <i>A Christmas Story</i> in its entirety from start to finish. Now, I've seen certain scenes about a million times because back in the 2000s, (they may still do this; I honestly have no idea) it used to be on 24/7 during Christmas week on TBS or TNT or one of those channels, so often, if I was watching TV with my brother, we would catch certain scenes at certain times and watch those. But I don't think I've seen a single second of the movie for the last ten years! (I kinda got sick of it from being on TNT or TBS all the time in December!) </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">This is a pretty straightforward movie. It revolves around the Parker family during Christmas in 1940s Indiana. I had a Today I Learned moment when I watched the movie recently: TIL that <i>A Christmas Story </i>takes place in the 1940s. I had no idea; I always thought it took place in the '50s. To be fair, I don't think they actually tell us when the movie is set, but when I streamed it, it was part of the description. It had to specifically be the year 1940 because there is no talk of World War II and there's mention of <i>The Wizard of Oz </i>which came out in' 39. Nine-year-old Ralphie (Peter Billingsley) is the main character and he narrates the movie as an adult, looking back at one of his most memorable childhood Christmases. Fun fact: the narrator is Jean Shepard, who wrote the novel the movie is based on. Ralphie wants a BB gun for Christmas, but since there isn't enough material to make that into an hour and a half film, the movie is comprised into many vignettes.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Ralphie first sees the "official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle" at a window display of Higbee's department store. So I thought Higbee's was a made up place, but it actually existed. Although it was in Cleveland, so they must live pretty close to the Ohio border if they're going there twice during the movie. Or they just didn't care if the geography made sense or not. I know the movie was filmed in Cleveland, so they probably just used it for convenience's sake. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">He's been thinking of ways to get the BB gun into his parents' subconscious, so he places an ad (which is more like a full-sized booklet than an ad!) for it in his mother's "Look" magazine so she'll see it. Ralphie thinks she'll read the ad, but I doubt she would. He places the magazine on his mother's bed. Yes, his mother's bed; not his parents' bed. His parents' room have two single beds with a bedside table between them. The two single beds are weird for a married couple and I wonder if this was how married people in the '40s slept or if this was how movies made in the '40s portrayed married couples so it wouldn't be scandalous. And, yes, I realize <i>A Christmas Story</i> was made in the early '80s, but maybe they were trying to go with a "realistic" approach. Or maybe this is a subtle way to show up that Ralphie's parents (Melinda Dillon and Darren McGavin) actually really can't stand each other. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">We never do see if Ralphie's mom finds the ad, but she does ask Ralphie what he wants for Christmas during breakfast and he just blurts it out. Isn't that easier just to tell her what he wants instead of going to all this trouble to give her subconscious hints? His mother's reply is, "You'll shoot your eye out." Yeah, I would never let my kid have a BB gun...that's just asking for trouble. It's either going to hurt someone or cause damage. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Ralphie's teacher, Miss Shields, wants her students to write a theme, "What I Want For Christmas." This makes young Ralphie excited and adult Ralphie narrates, "I knew when Miss Shields read my magnificent, eloquent theme, that she would sympathize with my plight and everything would work out somehow." I guess he thinks his teacher is going to love his paper so much and agree that he should have a BB gun and she'll convince his mother to let him have one? I'm not sure what his thinking is here! </div><p>Ralphie's "theme" is only about a paragraph long: </p><p></p><blockquote><p>What I Want For Christmas </p></blockquote><blockquote>What I want for Christmas is a Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time. I think that everybody should have a red Ryder BB gun. They're very good for Christmas. I don't think that a football is a very good Christmas present.</blockquote><p>That's it. That's the entire paper. Maybe when Miss Shields said "theme", she meant paragraph. Look, I understand he's in third grade, but even as a third grader, I can guarantee you my class wrote longer papers than that! I cracked up when narrator Ralphie says, "Oh, rarely had the words poured from my pencil with such feverish fluidity." This paper is just awful. I think my favorite part is the last sentence because where the hell did a football suddenly come from? What does that have to do with anything? </p><p>When Ralphie hands in his paper the next day, he tells us he knew he was handing in a "masterpiece" (this kid is delusional!) and that maybe his teacher would excuse him from writing theme papers "for the rest of [his] natural life." Like your third grade teacher could keep you from writing papers in high school or college. Often, Ralph has little daydreams about how he envisions certain events to go and one of the funniest is when he has a daydream of Miss Shields giving Fs to every single paper (and there's a huge stack of them in his fantasy even though there's probably about only 20 kids in the classroom), but then she comes to his paper and she is overwhelmed with emotion because his paper is so fantastic. She claims the sentence, "....Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time" is the sentence that she's been waiting for all her life and calls it "poetry". She writes A+ on his paper, then gets up and writes his name on the board with A++++++ next to it while all the kids around him cheer and hoist him on his shoulders. It is absolutely ridiculous, but that's what makes it so hilarious. </p><p>As you can imagine, Ralphie did not get an A+ on his paper and his teacher did not think he was the next Shakespeare. He got a C+ which I thought was pretty generous, cuz that was a D+ paper at best. In red ink, his teacher writes, "You'll shoot your eye out" and Ralphie thinks his teacher and his mom are in cahoots together. </p><p>Ralphie has one more chance to get the word out that he wants a BB gun and that's when his family goes to Higbee's to see Santa after watching a Christmas parade. Asking Santa for a gift makes more sense for a kid rather than writing a paper about it for his teacher. </p><p>The line for Santa is a lot longer than Ralphie and his little brother, Randy, think it is. In front of them is this creepy kid who never stops smiling or staring at them. He tells them, "I like Santa", then, when people dressed like characters from <i>The Wizard of Oz </i>who were in the parade they saw, interact with the kids in the line, he tells them, "I like <i>The Wizard of Oz.</i>" The Wicked Witch comes up to Ralphie and says, "What a tasty boy." Ralphie tells her, "Don't bother me. I'm thinking." Heh. I love that he basically told her to get the f*** away from him in the most polite way. </p><p>Ralphie and his brother make it closer to Santa, but the clock is ticking down and the store will be closing at nine, which is just minutes away. Santa, who has an unnaturally red nose, tells one of the elves, "If Higbee thinks I'm working one minute past nine, he can kiss my foot." But the thing is, once it is announced it is nine o'clock and the store is closing, he has at least five more kids come up to see him! Granted, none of them are visiting with him that long, but still, the way he was acting, I thought he was going to get up and leave. The elves are being rude and aggressive, telling the kids to hurry up and manhandling them and forcing them to sit in Santa's lap. If I were a kid in that line, I would definitely turn around and leave! Although the slide they go down after they see Santa looks like fun so I would be disappointed about missing out on that. Once it is Ralph's turn and Santa asks him what he wants, he can't remember what he's supposed to say. I can't really blame him since the elves are being extremely rude, telling him to hurry up. Santa suggests that he might want a football (I guess a football was a popular gift for Christmas in the '40s?) and her nods in agreement, but as he's being put on the slide, he stops himself from going down and blurts out what he really wants: "an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model air rifle." He says it so fast that if I didn't already know what he was going to say, I would not have understood him. Santa understood him and tells him that he'll shoot his eye out. Hmmm, that seems to be a running theme!</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjLyrysn8dkMq9rF4DzU1P500Ms-7CgofVD0ruZ6LPHgW0cxyrPrY8Hi8cuRtHr4vcI89YJyEdJ8s5NymEF5anxVrE5adFOeXBz8lp0h9uu5sfulZ51oPjXKGCUmtkfTN9yIDCjeSujuthR4QZxhdTw2czOGOSGRBNAqT1avSx8X79itZ_pY0DVrMDEdrQ" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="323" data-original-width="600" height="172" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjLyrysn8dkMq9rF4DzU1P500Ms-7CgofVD0ruZ6LPHgW0cxyrPrY8Hi8cuRtHr4vcI89YJyEdJ8s5NymEF5anxVrE5adFOeXBz8lp0h9uu5sfulZ51oPjXKGCUmtkfTN9yIDCjeSujuthR4QZxhdTw2czOGOSGRBNAqT1avSx8X79itZ_pY0DVrMDEdrQ" width="320" /></a></div></div><br /><p></p><p>Despite all that, Ralphie does get his beloved BB gun for Christmas. It's after all the presents have been opened and his father tells him there might be one more gift behind the desk. The mother is surprised, so she wasn't behind that at all. The father tells her that he had a bb gun when he was eight. </p><p>Watching this movie again in a very long time, I found myself really disliking the mother and Randy, the little brother. Randy was just whiny, and yes, I realize he's just a little kid, but I just couldn't with his constant whining. I thought the mother was a little bit stupid or maybe naive (don't worry, I'll give examples shortly) and she treated both her sons like they were babies, especially Randy, she infantilized him. </p><p>Point #1: When getting ready for walking to school, Ralphie is wearing normal winter clothes: jeans, sweater, coat, hat, mittens. Randy, on the other hand, is being stuffed into a red snowsuit while already wearing a bulky sweater. Ralphie compares his brother getting ready for school to getting prepared for deep-sea diving and he's not wrong. Randy is already wearing a hat, but his mom puts the hood of his snow suit over the hat. This is such a pet peeve of mine! If there is a hood already attached to the coat you're wearing, YOU DO NOT NEED A SEPARATE HAT! You already have one! She then proceeds to wrap a long scarf completely around his face, like a mummy. He starts whining and because his mouth is covered, he's muffled. I thought for sure he was going to tell her he needed to use the bathroom, but instead he whines that he can't put his arms down. He's just so overstuffed that it's impossible to put his arms by his side. His mom tells him that he can put them down once he gets to school. We never do see how he got out of that thing at school, but we do see him wearing it when he walks home from school, so did he ever take the stupid thing off? Also, that kid had to be ROASTING in that thing, good Lord! You would think his mother would just get him a normal coat and not a snow suit that takes forever to bundle up in. Ralphie has a normal coat, so why not her other son? There is a hilarious moment when they're walking to school and Randy gets knocked down and he's rolling around on his back like a turtle because he can't get up, so Ralphie has to help him. </p><p>Point #2: Ralphie tells us that Randy "had not eaten voluntarily in over three years." I think this is because his mom is a horrible cook. All the meals just look so disgusting. The oatmeal he has for breakfast makes me want to vomit because it looks like vomit. She also serves them a disgusting dinner of meatloaf, mashed potatoes (didn't see any gravy) and red cabbage not once, but twice during the film. Although, her husband and Ralphie seem to have no problem eating this disgusting meal and it seems more like they're telling us that Randy is just a picky eater. He's just playing with his food (building a sculpture) and his mother tells him, "Don't play with your food, eat it" and that starving people would be happy to have it. Ha! Now while they may eat it (because they're starving), I doubt they would be happy about it! She asks Randy to pretend he's "a little piggy" and that his plate is the trough and show her how one would eat. We get this gross scene of him just putting his face in the plate of food and his mother is laughing in delight like it's the cutest thing she's ever seen when just seconds before she had told him not to play with his food. I would have more of the reaction that Ralph and the dad have...they just look on in disgust, especially the dad. This scene goes on way too long and I definitely could have done without it. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhpCJ3WvwxlqBdiPiCx7KGbBQqPQ7JYBFqOiNUkKLd-6FWOPakMAXd0feTJWV9tfi6p8_tjaSnwnAeciLwXRMYvIAjgsvNmlvHa3MzPI0DcBGC-ma7VUs21cbATcdrqS9NoVN7xoDlZGTkSOggsgRaN7R9NNdn1etUK4DxLDaZ5E8YYAOibNteudSsimMU" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="180" data-original-width="280" height="129" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhpCJ3WvwxlqBdiPiCx7KGbBQqPQ7JYBFqOiNUkKLd-6FWOPakMAXd0feTJWV9tfi6p8_tjaSnwnAeciLwXRMYvIAjgsvNmlvHa3MzPI0DcBGC-ma7VUs21cbATcdrqS9NoVN7xoDlZGTkSOggsgRaN7R9NNdn1etUK4DxLDaZ5E8YYAOibNteudSsimMU=w200-h129" width="200" /></a></div>Point #3: When they're opening presents Christmas morning, Ralphie is told by his mother to open the gift from Aunt Clara because she always sends him "such wonderful presents." Really? Does she? Because for this Christmas, Ralphie gets a pink bunny onesie. This is just not ugly, but creepy, because attached to the feet are pink bunny slippers....why would a bunny have heads attached to their feet? That makes no sense. Adult Ralphie narrates to us that not only did Aunt Clara seemed to think he was "perpetually four years old, but also a girl." But I don't think even a nine-year-old girl would want that pink atrocity. I don't think anyone in their right mind would want that. Of course, Ralphie is embarrassed as he's forced by his mother to show everyone what he got. She tells him (and she's being sincere here) that Aunt Clara "always gives [him] the nicest things." Huh? Is she for real? Is Aunt Clara her sister? And how old is Aunt Clara? Cuz I'm picturing this eighty-year-old woman who has no idea what a nine-year-old boy would want for Christmas. She makes Ralphie go upstairs to try it on and reluctantly he does. Once he returns, she says, "That's the most precious thing I've ever seen in my life." Again, I ask, is she for real? How can you think something so UGLY and CREEPY look "precious"? At least the father think it's a sh*t present. He tells his wife that Ralphie looks like "a deranged Easter bunny" and "a pink nightmare." Finally, the mother realizes how miserable Ralphie looks and tells him he only needs to wear it when Aunt Clara visits. I hope for his sake that Aunt Clara lives on some remote island off the coast of Alaska, but why would he need to wear it when she visits? <p></p><p>So pretty much all the examples I've given so far are how she treats her sons like babies, but I do have one last example of her being a little bit dumb. (Although I think she's pretty dumb if she thinks Ralphie would like that creepy bunny outfit.) After Ralphie gets his bb gun, he goes outside to play with it. It came with a paper target that he's taped to a tree and after he shoots the gun the first time, the force is so strong that it ends up knocking his glasses off his face (and losing one of the lenses) and he gets a scratch on his face. While looking for his glasses, he ends up stepping on them and the other lens crack. He decides to make up this bullshit story of how an icicle broke and shattered his glasses and his mom buys this story! Seriously? Like, he was literally just playing with an effing BB gun that she was worried about and she believes that his glasses were broken because of an icicle? So stupid. There's no way anyone would buy that story. </p><p>All right, so now I'll talk about some of the vignettes that are sprinkled throughout the story. I'm going to start with the ones I remember the most.</p><p>While walking to school with his two friends, Schwartz and Flick, Schwartz tells them that he asked his "old man" if sticking your tongue to a metal pole in winter will make it stick and he said it was true. Flick doesn't believe that to be true. Schwartz tells him that his dad knows because he saw a guy stick his tongue to a railroad track and it got stuck and the fire department had to come and help. I see what you're doing there, movie. A little foreshadowing. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgIVC0qVvKpDgK-zAcod5C2yhjHx8oYYIpXaPNn76J490bGAPzQeL0_w9ZQgXaxciPX-H1AmwSuW7jHjY4ES60mFEFcEYoxRLH5Eo540WElKRC2JzWA6dc3XnOzPcX0pWGOygwJExnHQzFv1wejlrDIz6sTtN0rV1l1wZ0bs69XUKz4dWDfrPTzUrsZx6M" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgIVC0qVvKpDgK-zAcod5C2yhjHx8oYYIpXaPNn76J490bGAPzQeL0_w9ZQgXaxciPX-H1AmwSuW7jHjY4ES60mFEFcEYoxRLH5Eo540WElKRC2JzWA6dc3XnOzPcX0pWGOygwJExnHQzFv1wejlrDIz6sTtN0rV1l1wZ0bs69XUKz4dWDfrPTzUrsZx6M=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div>At recess, while standing next to the flagpole, Flick tells Schwartz he still doesn't believe one can get their tongue stuck to a metal pole and Schwartz double dares him to do it. Flick tells him he doesn't want to stick his tongue to the pole because it's dumb and Schwartz replies, "That's cause you know it'll stick." Can't argue with him there. He next double dog dares him. Ralphie's wide-eyed reaction is hilarious and so is his narration: "Now it was serious. A double dog dare. What else was left but a triple dare you? And finally, the coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple dog dare." Schwartz skips the triple dare and goes right into the triple dog dare which shocks everyone (all the students are pretty much gathered around the flagpole watching this whole thing unfold...I guess they didn't have a teacher out on the playground in those days). Because of the triple dog dare, Flick finally agrees and the stupid kid sticks his tongue to the flag pole and it gets stuck. I'm pretty sure this movie is the reason why I've never stuck my tongue to a frozen pole, though I've never had any inclination to touch my tongue to anything. Even before Covid, the idea just makes me shudder with disgust. <p></p><p>The bell rings and all the kids start running back towards the school. Flick (who can barely talk, mind you) pleads for Ralphie to stay with him and he's all, "The bell rang!" When Schwartz asks Ralphie what they're going to do, Ralphie's only response is just to whine, "I don't know! The bell rang!" and both friends just run off, leaving poor Flick by himself. At least Schwartz, the one who dared Flick to touch his tongue to the pole, tried to act like he cared! When all the kids are back in the classroom and the teacher asks where Flick is, a little girl points to the window where she sees him and the fire department has to come and help him. Maybe back in those days, the fire department would be the best people to call, but I feel now people wouldjust Google what to do! Honestly, if I were that kid, I would be mortified in a firetruck came and caused a huge scene. I think even one kids mentions that the cops are there....like, what the hell? Of course, I would never be that stupid in the first place to touch my tongue to a cold (or even non-cold!) metal pole! </p><p>Since we're already in the school setting, there's a scene at the beginning of the school day where the teacher has just come in and says good morning to the class while her back is turned to them writing something on the chalkboard. The class replies to her in muffled voices and when she turns around, they're all wearing these exaggerated fake front teeth. She doesn't even crack a smile, but instead just holds out her hand for them to all put their fake teeth, which have been in their disgusting little germ-filled mouths, mind you. Ewww! Why not tell them to throw them away in the trash? She opens a drawers in her desk and dumps them in there and we see it is full of other jokes and gags which includes chattering teeth, a rubber mouse, a rubber frog, sunglasses with a fake nose, and a fake ear with a fly. Whoever bought those fake teeth sure wasted their money!</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi5-2VFVvZyw09lFP_E2ArtYBuQyIhrWKJ4POKQquRVym4FO_4fSHu_HyFfJm3TugySx-1f5iXOTuqVyuvyufXS8Nwfht3VE6wgLUxR2wVJQM85b0W9-k_x5vifczNprF_K-5N_or7sTYQfg3SIit6GL8q3KpzBAhvhA6ukLzFrQv5meyKcttQUnJ6Ook4" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="939" data-original-width="634" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi5-2VFVvZyw09lFP_E2ArtYBuQyIhrWKJ4POKQquRVym4FO_4fSHu_HyFfJm3TugySx-1f5iXOTuqVyuvyufXS8Nwfht3VE6wgLUxR2wVJQM85b0W9-k_x5vifczNprF_K-5N_or7sTYQfg3SIit6GL8q3KpzBAhvhA6ukLzFrQv5meyKcttQUnJ6Ook4" width="162" /></a></div>The leg lamp ("Oh, wow!") is another storyline that is very memorable. Actually, what I didn't remember is how the dad obtained it in the first place, but I guess he won a trivia contest in the newspaper and he would be getting his "award" that night. I don't know why he referred to it as an "award"; when I think of an award, I think of a trophy or a certificate. Wouldn't this be a prize for winning the contest? <p></p><p>For some reason, he thinks he might be getting a bowling alley and his wife asks him how they're going to deliver that to their house (another reason why I think she's dumb) and he tells her they would deliver the deed. But instead he is delivered a huge wooden crate that says "fragile" on it and the dad pronounces it "frah-gee-lay", claiming it must be Italian until his wife points out what it really says. Personally, I think we should all pronounce "fragile" like "frah-gee lay"! </p><p>Since it's a wooden crate, he has to open it with a hammer and he opens the box to find the tacky and gaudy leg lamp wearing a heel and fishnet stockings and the lamp shape is made to look like the skirt. The dad and Ralphie are instantly enthused by it. The dad wants to put it on a table in the middle of their front room window, basically so all the neighbors can see and be envious of his arousing leg lamp. He plugs it in and we see there's about ten plugs in one outlet; guess they didn't care about electrical safety back in those days! He goes outside to direct his wife where to move it so it's in the perfect spot and he attracts a crowd around him and his poor wife is just mortified. I guess back in those days, that lamp would be considered scandalous and racy. Ralphie keeps caressing the leg and his mom distracts him by telling his favorite radio program, "Little Orphan Annie" is on. </p><p>This brings me to the next vignette, one I didn't remember much of. After school one day, Ralphie gets his "Little Orphan Annie" secret decoder pin that he's sent away for and it finally comes in the mail. He tunes in to listen the numbers that are given which he writes down and will decode a secret message. Once he has the numbers, he goes to the bathroom because it's the only private room in the house (he shares a room with his brother) because he thinks this is some top secret, important, for his eyes only kind of message. While he's in there, his brother has to use the bathroom (guess they only have one bathroom in this house!) and so far he only has "Be sure to..." written down. I thought it was going to reveal to say "Be sure to tune in tomorrow night for...." or something like that. By this time Randy is knocking on the door and whining for him to hurry up and his mother is yelling at him to get out of the bathroom. I really can't blame either of them; I would be livid if I had to go and the only bathroom in the house was being occupied by someone who wasn't even using the toilet! The message actually ends up being "Be sure to drink your Ovaltine" and Ralphie is greatly disappointed. I really hate how this kid writes. He leaves no spaces between his words so it looks like BESURETO....He really should be grateful he got a C+ on that paper because even a D+ seems pretty generous for that atrocious paper! </p><p>And finally, the last vignette I'll talk about is when Ralphie gets his mouth washed out with soap for saying a bad word. It's when the family is driving home from buying a Christmas tree and the car gets a flat tire. When the dad gets out to take a look at it, the mom tells Ralphie to go and help his dad. (By the way, in case you hadn't already noticed, the parents in this movie aren't given names). I thought Ralphie was going to whine, but instead he seems excited about the prospect of helping his dad. His dad gives him a bowl-shaped thing so he can hold the bolts in it. Because of the dad's actions (he flings his hands too quickly and it ends up knocking the bowl), the bolts go flying in the air and Ralphie goes, "Oh, fuuuuuuuuu-dge." But of course that's not what he really said! The dad is appalled by his language and when they get back in the car, he whispers to his wife what his son just said and she is just so aghast. This leads to Ralphie getting his mouth washed out with soap when they get home and when she asks him where he heard that word, he tells her it was his friend.</p><p>This whole thing just made me mad. First of all, it was his dad's fault for flipping the bowl over and losing the bolts! I think Ralphie just had a natural reaction to it. I could totally understand him getting in trouble if he had said, "Hey, Ma, this meatloaf looks like f****** s***!" Now, he would have been telling the truth, but I would totally understand him getting in trouble if he had said that! But if I were in his situation, off the shoulder of the highway, helping my dad fix a flat tire and a bunch of bolts flew all over, yes, I'd probably have some choice words to say! (I don't think the bolts are ever retrieved, so they must not have been that important!) I get that he's in trouble for the word he used and not because of what happened to the bolts, but it is ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS that the mom asks Ralphie where he heard that word because she should know he heard it from her husband. There's a scene early in the movie where it is established that the furnace often breaks down and he has to go down to the basement to fix it. When he's down there, we can hear him saying gibberish words which are meant to be obscenities the whole family can hear. It kind of reminds me how Joe Pesci "curses" in <i>Home Alone</i>. Since he wasn't allowed to swear in a PG movie, he just ended up saying gibberish words which were being substituted for swear words his character would probably say in real life! But the mother is right there and I'm sure she's heard other instances of her husband cursing like a sailor because Ralphie tells us that he's heard his dad use "the f dash dash dash word" at least ten times a day! I'm not really sure why he's trying to protect his dad and tells his mom he learned the word from his friend, but his mom should know. Hell, even Mrs. Schwartz knows when she calls his friend's mom and tells her the word that Ralphie just used (I love that she whispers the word instead of just saying he said "the f word") and asks her does she know where Ralphie heard that word and you can hear Mrs. Schwartz (rightly) say, "Probably from his father." Just another reason why I think the mother in this movie is an idiot! She tells Mrs. Schwartz that he learned the word from her son and you can hear Mrs. S screaming at and smacking her son. I felt bad for the kid since he did nothing wrong and Ralphie sold him out. </p><p>Ralphie is sent to bed early for his punishment and we get a funny daydream where he has gone blind and when he visits his parents, they're shocked to find out he's blind and when they ask how this happened, he dramatically tells them, "It was soap poisoning" and they're besides themselves, crying. It's hilarious when they go back to Ralphie, laying on his bed, with a big grin on his face. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhkUM3-mr3adnOapQBJYhAGGmrAAIGlhPXbcmQ95I4T4x2jmCklWJohIsI7mO8KtivA-c66GkAgt-oGwRPN02jvBsSyAq3mya8t4fuMw61L3Uqx2RukaOb2tspIfp_umjBHlQhDUCg9d_wTXzDYAsuWCvjEiW9qMAp-XQAM_QnlGSO9Y39LMYTIoScff8c" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="631" data-original-width="1200" height="105" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhkUM3-mr3adnOapQBJYhAGGmrAAIGlhPXbcmQ95I4T4x2jmCklWJohIsI7mO8KtivA-c66GkAgt-oGwRPN02jvBsSyAq3mya8t4fuMw61L3Uqx2RukaOb2tspIfp_umjBHlQhDUCg9d_wTXzDYAsuWCvjEiW9qMAp-XQAM_QnlGSO9Y39LMYTIoScff8c=w200-h105" width="200" /></a></div>Oh, something I had completely forgotten about was their neighbors, the Bumpuses, have about five or six bloodhounds (Ralphie will tell you it's 785) who "ignore every other human on earth but [his dad]." I remember the family ends up eating at a Chinese restaurant on Christmas Day, but I thought it was because their turkey had deflated (I must have been thinking of <i>National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation</i>!), but it's actually because the dogs get in the house (I guess Ralphie had left the door open when he came in from playing with his BB gun) and gobble (ha!no pun intended, honestly!) up the turkey. <p></p><p>I know people love this movie and while there are some fun and memorable scenes, for the most part, I can take it or leave it (mostly leave it). It's not as funny as<i> Elf </i>or <i>Home Alone</i> or<i> Christmas Vacation </i>or even as sentimental as those! </p>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-60399316809917321032023-11-09T12:48:00.001-06:002023-11-09T12:49:58.899-06:00Are You Ready For It? <div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour </span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Director: Sam Wrench</div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: October 12, 2023</div><div style="text-align: left;">Viewed in theaters: October 20, 2023</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://images.foxtv.com/static.fox10phoenix.com/www.fox10phoenix.com/content/uploads/2023/03/1280/720/GettyImages-1474279449-copy.jpg?ve=1&tl=1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="226" src="https://images.foxtv.com/static.fox10phoenix.com/www.fox10phoenix.com/content/uploads/2023/03/1280/720/GettyImages-1474279449-copy.jpg?ve=1&tl=1" width="400" /></a></div><p>Since I'm deprived and Taylor Swift didn't bring her Eras Tour to my city, I had to settle for going to her concert movie. But that's okay because I hate crowds and even if I did get tickets to her show, I would be in the nosebleed section. That's what I keep telling myself! I felt like everybody in my theater had already been to her concert. Now, I don't have any proof of that, but it just felt like everybody knew all the little inside moments. Most likely they could have just seen these moments on Instagram or Tik Tok. </p><p>I do know that a lot of people who did go to the (actual live) concert did appreciate the concert movie, because, depending on where you're sitting, you're not always seeing everything and with the movie you are able to see these details much better. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/B8dfUgY8r8Zd57zSdyAyqi.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="113" src="https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/B8dfUgY8r8Zd57zSdyAyqi.png" width="200" /></a></div>So, for some idiotic reason, I was thinking the concert movie was spliced together with the different cities she visited. I thought they would do that so it would be "fair"; surely they wouldn't just film the movie at one concert. In my mind, they would show a different era from a different city. But when I saw the movie, it appeared to be filmed on one night towards the end of her U.S. tour when she performed at SoFi Stadium in L.A. Then I saw an Instagram video of someone who was at her concert when the movie was being filmed and you could see some guy on stage with her, following her with a camera. Haha, that sounds so stalkerish and weird, like some guy just jumped on stage and started following her with a camera (like they would let that happen!) No, this guy is clearly supposed to be there and he's obviously filming her for the movie. That's when I realized....duh, of course. The way the movie was filmed, OF COURSE there was someone on stage with her with some of the way the angles were shot. There's no way they could have filmed the movie the way they did if they just stuck a few stationery cameras around the stage. Let me give you a few examples of what I mean: 1) When she's performing "The Man" and she's at the top of that scaffolding prop they use for that song, there's a close up of her looking into the camera; 2) there's a 360 degree shot at one point. Unfortunately, I cannot remember what song this is during, but I love a good 360 degree shot. It's just so cinematic and epic! <p></p><p>I was listening to the podcast Every Single Album: Taylor Swift (the best TS podcast in an ocean of TS podcasts, IMO!) where the two hosts were talking about the movie and from them I learned that movie was filmed at SoFi more than one night and that there were cameras everywhere. (At least one of them was at one of those shows!) We do get some audience reactions during the movie and while that would be cool to be immortalized in the Taylor Swift Eras Concert movie, I do have to wonder how distracting that would be. Not just with all the cameras around, but also with the cameras that are on stage with her at all times too. I wonder if your experience is diminished in anyway. Not that I would know! So I looked up online to see when the concert was filmed (which is what I should have done in the first place instead of just assuming!) and found out they were filming the first three days of the six days she performed there. So they must have just used the best footage they had from each of those three concert and spliced that together. </p><p>Okay, enough of this boring technical stuff! Let's talk about the good stuff: the music and the fashion! </p><p>So as you may or may not know, the concert is divided into her different eras (i.e. albums) and she sings about 3-5 songs from each era. Yes, this is why it's called the Eras Tour! She does not perform each era in chronological order (because that would be boring!) No, I'm sure there's a logistical reason for the way the show is structured the way it is. This is the order she performs each album:</p><div style="text-align: left;">1. <i>Lover</i></div><div style="text-align: left;">2. <i>Fearless</i></div><div style="text-align: left;">3. <i>Evermore</i></div><div style="text-align: left;">4. <i>Reputation </i></div><div style="text-align: left;">5. <i>Speak Now</i></div><div style="text-align: left;">6. <i>Red</i></div><div style="text-align: left;">7. <i>Folklore</i></div><div style="text-align: left;">8. <i>1989</i></div><div style="text-align: left;">(secret songs)</div><div style="text-align: left;">9. <i>Midnights</i></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: left;">Now, you may notice that her debut self-titled album is missing and, honestly, that's fine with me. There are a few songs I like from that album, but I hardly ever listen to it. Technically she does sing a song from it during her secret songs and I think they did that at least to have one song from her debut album in the movie. At least, that's my theory! I'll explain more when I talk about that part of the concert/movie.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Starting with <i>Lover</i> makes sense because that was what should have been her previous concert, but was cancelled because of Covid. Just think, if Covid never existed, neither would have <i>Folklore </i>or <i>Evermore</i> and this would have been the <i>Midnights</i> Tour. That seems like such an odd alternate universe! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Okay, you know how when you're eating dinner at a fancy restaurant and they serve you a palate cleanser between courses to get you ready for the next course? (BTW, I've only had this experience once: at a restaurant when I was in NYC a million years ago). I kinda feel like the <i>Evermore </i>and <i>Folklore</i> sections are the palate cleansers of this concert. I don't know if that's even a great anaglogy and it sounds like I'm dissing those two albums and I'm not because I love those albums. I even ranked<i> Folklore</i> as my <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2022/12/its-me-hi-ranking-taylor-swifts-albums.html">favorite TS album</a>. I did love the performances from these two sister albums, but it is my theory that she strategically placed them where they are in the setlist so people could sit back and relax. Hell, I've ever heard jokes that people used that time to go to the bathroom. (This is during the four hour live concert, not the two and a half hour movie!) I feel like I got major whiplash from going from "Tolerate It" (was that the last song in her <i>Evermore</i> set?), then pretty much going straight into her<i> Reputation</i> set with the booming bass sounds from "...Ready For It?" </div><div style="text-align: left;"><i><br /></i></div><div style="text-align: left;">I remember listening to the Every Single Album: TS right after she announced she was going on tour and the hosts were speculating on what she would perform. They thought she might do her huge pop hits in the massive arenas and her stuff from <i>Folklore</i> and <i>Evermore </i>in smaller venues. While I feel like that would make more sense, logistically it just wouldn't work, and besides, it is called the ERAS tour and not having two of her albums (and one that won a Grammy) would be blasphemy. Like, people can live without her debut album, but NOT the sister albums! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">When she performed "Tolerate It" from the <i>Evermore</i> set, I felt like I was watching a play with the table and one of her male dancers "acting" in it. I really liked it, but I have a feeling this worked much better being filmed for a movie than watching it at a live concert. "The Last Great American Dynasty" from her <i>Folklore </i>set also had a theatrical play element to it. I liked that one of her dancers played Rebekah Harkness and that moment where she and Taylor exchange a knowing glance when Taylor sings "and then it was bought by me." Again, this probably shows up better for the movie than a live show. I know a lot of people thought it didn't make sense that "Cardigan" was cut (about five or six songs were cut from the movie), especially since she sang "Betty" and "August" and they thought "TLGAD" should have been cut, but I am so glad that they did not cut it because, hot take, that might be a top five Taylor song for me and "Cardigan" is just okay to me.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://image.cnbcfm.com/api/v1/image/107278487-1690547920875-gettyimages-1564524396-haywardphoto261856_trsqwu49_jyefddip.jpeg?v=1696873880" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="800" height="133" src="https://image.cnbcfm.com/api/v1/image/107278487-1690547920875-gettyimages-1564524396-haywardphoto261856_trsqwu49_jyefddip.jpeg?v=1696873880" width="200" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;">My favorite set was the <i>Reputation </i>Era. It just got you so pumped, which was why it gave me major whiplash coming after the more subdued <i>Evermore</i> set. I personally would have swapped the <i>Reputation</i> and<i> Red</i> sets. They are only separated by her one song from the <i>Speak Now</i> era, but it would make more sense for<i> Reputation</i> to come a little bit later. I wonder if the ten minute "All Too Well" is exactly at the halfway mark of the concert and that's why they had it that way. The only thing that would have made the <i>Reputation </i>set complete perfection is if she had sung "Getaway Car". I have a hard time trying to figure out which song from the <i>Reputation</i> setlist I would swap out for that one, so in my mind, I would cut "Lavender Haze" from her <i>Midnights</i> set, but only because that's a song I'm pretty meh on. Like, give me "Getaway Car" over that song any day! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The<i> Red</i> set was a lot of fun too. She sang "22", "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together", "I Knew You Were Trouble", and, of course, "All Too Well." If she had swapped "IKYWT" for "Starlight", she would have sung all my favorite songs from that album. During "22" she gives the hat she's wearing to someone her mom has picked out from the audience (usually a little kid, but sometimes it's someone older.) When I saw the very young girl who received the hat in the movie, I knew it was Kobe Bryant's daughter. I only knew this because I had read that Taylor gave her hat to her at one of her concerts at SoFi. I did double check to make sure I was right and I was. She is only six years old! She is so young! I think showing this little girl who tragically lost her famous father and older sister at such young ages receive the hat makes more sense than showing a random kid receiving it. You see Taylor talking to her and give her a big hug after she gives her the hat. When I saw her give the little girl a hug, I had a feeling it was Kobe Bryant's daughter because I don't know if she gives all the other hat recipients hugs, but maybe she does. It is a very sweet moment and just seeing the joy on that little girl's face almost brought a tear to my eye. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://media1.popsugar-assets.com/files/thumbor/Fo4KJbns79zBGpWnytZaZgJ1OVo=/0x0:6000x4566/fit-in/828x1500/filters:format_auto():extract_cover():upscale()/2023/04/11/861/n/1922283/28d719146435b792452c75.69590506_.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="609" data-original-width="800" height="152" src="https://media1.popsugar-assets.com/files/thumbor/Fo4KJbns79zBGpWnytZaZgJ1OVo=/0x0:6000x4566/fit-in/828x1500/filters:format_auto():extract_cover():upscale()/2023/04/11/861/n/1922283/28d719146435b792452c75.69590506_.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>She sings her "secret songs" after the <i>1989</i> set. These are two songs from her catalog that she sings that aren't part of the show. In the movie, she sings "Our Song" followed by "You're On Your Own Kid." I think that was strategic because with "Our Song" you're getting at least one song from all her albums, so all her eras are truly represented in the movie. "YOYOK" is immediately followed by her last set, the <i>Midnights </i>era, so it easily falls into the right set and this is the song with the "make the friendship bracelets" line and Taylor knows about the exchanging of friendship bracelets at her concerts. Having this song be in the movie was no coincidence, especially with the dedication/thank you to her fans at the end being in the style of beaded friendship bracelets. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Speaking of which, the friend I saw this movie with invited me over to make bracelets and it was simultaneously fun and a pain in the ass. One bracelet in particular I had to do four times because I dropped all the beads twice, I had a letter backwards, and I had too many beads between letters. I made three: "Wildest Dreams" (ironically, that was my nightmare bracelet!), "Delicate", and "Bejeweled". Here is a photo of them:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://scontent-dfw5-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/392940350_18268703128085068_3816497345278268682_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s1080x2048&_nc_cat=102&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=5f2048&_nc_ohc=rxESLiiR94YAX_WUweW&_nc_ht=scontent-dfw5-2.xx&oh=00_AfB9tr99Q4vQmP75whJchdTFgRyg7pIoPIM4VFKR25H1VQ&oe=6552B720" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://scontent-dfw5-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/392940350_18268703128085068_3816497345278268682_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s1080x2048&_nc_cat=102&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=5f2048&_nc_ohc=rxESLiiR94YAX_WUweW&_nc_ht=scontent-dfw5-2.xx&oh=00_AfB9tr99Q4vQmP75whJchdTFgRyg7pIoPIM4VFKR25H1VQ&oe=6552B720" width="256" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">This is a movie where it was encouraged to sing and dance along, so on a scale of one to ten with one being nobody singing or dancing and ten being over the top chaos, I would say my theater was about a 4.5. There were people singing along to some of the songs, but it wasn't so obnoxious or overly loud that you couldn't hear Taylor (though the movie was pretty loud). Nobody was dancing in the aisles, but a lot of young kids were dancing at the front of the theater and they were throwing and waving their little light-up batons. They were even dancing to the <i>Evermore</i> set...which was weird. This one little girl was singing her little heart out along to "August" which was hilarious and adorable. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I was singing along too...internally! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F0fOjZzacAYEr08.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="800" height="133" src="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F0fOjZzacAYEr08.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Now for fashion corner because she never goes out of style (ha, ha, ha). I loved most of her ensembles; my favorite being the sequined t-shirt dress she wears when she performs "Lavender Haze" and "Anti-Hero." There was one particular dress I did not love, but everybody seems to go gaga over: the humungous lilac gown she wears when she performs "Enchanted". I hate this dress! She looks like a freaking wedding cake! Yes, I realize it's supposed to be like that, but it's just too much for me. I've seen the other ballgowns she's worn while performing this and I like all the others so much better. Also, I chose that moment to use the bathroom, heh! I'm sure people were judging me for leaving during this song.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">She also has each nail painted a different color and I'm not sure if she did this for every concert or only for when the movie was being filmed because it would translate better on screen. Each of her albums represents a different color. She has ten albums and she has ten fingernails, so therefore this was the perfect time to do this! Some of her album/color combinations are pretty obvious, like the color for <i>Red </i>is, wait for it...red and indigo blue for <i>Midnights</i>. Usually the color for the album is whatever color dress/outfit she's wearing on the album cover: yellow for <i>Fearless</i>, purple for <i>Speak Now</i>. She's going to be running out of colors pretty soon (she has orange and white left for the basic colors) and will have to pick colors like fuchsia or chartreuse or persimmon. She better get the Pantone site open! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Overall, it's a fun movie to watch if you didn't get to see the concert. I have no doubt it doesn't even come close to seeing it live. I do wish she had just released it to Netflix instead of making it a theatrical release, but I get she wanted to make it an "experience" so people could dance and sing. Maybe it will be released to Netflix in the future and it will include the deleted songs. </div>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-9573798118172685302023-10-26T14:10:00.001-05:002023-10-26T14:10:07.773-05:00Part of Your World<div><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">The Little Mermaid</span></b></div><div>Director: Rob Marshall</div><div>Cast: Halle Bailey, Melissa McCarthy, Javier Bardem, Jonah Hauer-King, Daveed Diggs, Jacob Tremblay, Awkwavina</div><div>Released: May 26, 2023</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjqhRGqAyEe9VWtRChtR5X47MbmYnHG_Wn2Tmtrl9aqoHT-63ziSd-mxlqJCP1pTs2H7miYF-aczgaEWHhUgg2uXczZ-mPARBxouT2ZpqXNVSyjUXchWDb5FAm1-eGnMb5X8x3LIGHHO5ecCu7hj9Eow1cFEZKLwGYYQNMcQzr5I4m99UjIAEmyQi85t4g" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="563" data-original-width="1000" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjqhRGqAyEe9VWtRChtR5X47MbmYnHG_Wn2Tmtrl9aqoHT-63ziSd-mxlqJCP1pTs2H7miYF-aczgaEWHhUgg2uXczZ-mPARBxouT2ZpqXNVSyjUXchWDb5FAm1-eGnMb5X8x3LIGHHO5ecCu7hj9Eow1cFEZKLwGYYQNMcQzr5I4m99UjIAEmyQi85t4g=w400-h225" width="400" /></a></div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Much like <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2017/03/tale-as-old-as-time.html">Beauty and the Beast,</a> <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2019/06/the-fresh-prince-of-agrabah.html">Aladdin,</a> and <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2019/07/hakuna-matata.html">The Lion King,</a> this is another remake of a Disney animated movie from the '90s. (Okay, so technically, <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2011/01/hot-crustacean-band.html">The Little Mermaid</a><i> </i>came out in 1989, but, close enough). Much like the others I just named, it pretty much follows its animated counterpart, but with a few exceptions. There are added songs and there are more fleshed out scenes for character development and to explain something a little more better that perhaps wasn't so clear in the original. The animated<i> Little Mermaid</i> is a little under an hour and a half and this movie is two hours and fifteen minutes! Yes, there are added songs (about three news ones, I believe) and some scenes are extended, but it seems shocking that it's almost 45 minutes longer! </div><div><br /></div><div>Okay, let's start with the new songs first. As I already mentioned, there are three new songs, plus a new reprise to "Part of Your World". The new songs...are not that great. Two in particular are really bad. Okay, to be fair, I've only listened to the new songs about four times: once when I watched the movie the first time, once when I watched it a second time to take notes, and I've listened to the soundtrack twice. One of the new songs is called "For the First Time" and despite it reminding me of the song from <i>Frozen</i> (well, the title reminds me, not the actual song), it's definitely the best of the three new songs, but nowhere as good as any of the original songs. Ariel (Halle Bailey) sings it when she becomes a human and she's being brought to the castle, but since at that point, she has given up her voice to Ursula, she's singing in her head. Luckily, they cast someone with a great voice for Ariel and she does justice to <i>Part of That World</i>, probably one of the most iconic Disney princess songs out there. However, I can't say the same for Prince Eric (Jonah Hauer-King). Yes, Prince Eric has his own song. It's called "Wild Uncharted Waters" and he sings it after he's been rescued by a girl with a beautiful voice. You know how they gave Princess Jasmine a song in the live action <i>Aladdin</i>? Well, I guess they thought they needed to give Prince Eric a song too? For some reason? Jasmine, I understand, because at least she IS a Disney Princess and never had her own solo song. And then there's the last new song, which, thankfully, is only a little over a minute. It's called "The Scuttlebutt" and it's sung by Scuttle (Awkwafina) and Sebastien (Daveed Diggs) when it's been announced that Prince Eric is engaged. Of course, they think he's engaged to Ariel, but he's not! Look, I love Awkwafina. I think she has some really funny line deliveries in this movie (one of my favorites is how she says "Yessss-ahhhh!" when Sebastien asks Scuttle if she's listening to him), but singing is just not her forte. Yes, I realize that Scuttle is supposed to be a bad singer, but this song is just terrible. I feel like it's only in here because it's near the end of the movie and they realized they haven't had a song (aside from the second reprise of "Part of Your World") in awhile. </div><div><br /></div><div>There are a couple of songs from the animated movie that didn't make it into this one. First of all, and this really doesn't surprise me, "Les Poissons" is not in this movie. It is a bit cartoony and I understand why they didn't include it. I'm not terribly upset about it because I would rank it last of the original songs. (Although I still love it: "<i>Les poissons, les poissons</i>, how I love <i>les poissons</i>!") </div><div><br /></div><div>Another song (although much smaller) that isn't in the movie is "Daughters of Triton". I mean, it's not a totally big loss although I do like the song (or ditty, really). They most likely excluded it for two reasons: 1) Triton's daughters don't have the same names as the ones in the song. (So no Aquata, Adrina, Arista, Attina, Adella, or Alanna. Obviously, Ariel is the only one who kept her name cuz she can't change her name!) Do I remember the names of his daughters in this movie? No; no, I do not. There was no catchy song to help me remember any of them. And, 2), There's a Coral Moon ceremony that Ariel misses, she's not singing in her debut.</div><div><br /></div><div>However, they do keep the four main songs which we all know and love (at least I hope everyone knows and loves!) from the animated film. I'll add my thoughts on each one when I get to those parts of the movie. </div><div><br /></div><div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgubQ586IAIKasZ0tUIct_4V3RIN1lXNtqCKB3oLW3EWJhPOBfoekV2zLBY4VwV_Ut9akXfNEq6CZpOpyb9jHaicQ3NCTye1RGOH6mbXY8Ji8ahZAkkecmFIVmXcH7WFJSFN9BKpK0o5t65GaCL3C6XfI5ZEIX572aEWoPWvjg-6tHj5jk-T3mAdoeoQ5A" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="788" data-original-width="1400" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgubQ586IAIKasZ0tUIct_4V3RIN1lXNtqCKB3oLW3EWJhPOBfoekV2zLBY4VwV_Ut9akXfNEq6CZpOpyb9jHaicQ3NCTye1RGOH6mbXY8Ji8ahZAkkecmFIVmXcH7WFJSFN9BKpK0o5t65GaCL3C6XfI5ZEIX572aEWoPWvjg-6tHj5jk-T3mAdoeoQ5A=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div>This Ariel is a little more well-behaved than animated Ariel. She is forbidden from going up to the surface and keeps her word...until a certain point. Animated Ariel was also supposed to not go to the surface, but she did anyway. For instance, in the animated movie, when Scuttle is showing Ariel and Flounder the fork (ahem, I mean, dinglehopper!) that he found, Ariel goes to the surface where he's on some small rock formation in the sea. In this movie, Scuttle swoops down into the water to show Ariel and Flounder (Jacob Tremblay) the "dinglehopper" and this bird is underwater for quite a few minutes! They do make a joke out of it after Ariel realizes she's late for the Coral Moon and swims off, Scuttle says she's gotta go too and get some air.</div></div><div><br /></div><div><div>One thing they touch on in this movie that they didn't in the animated one is how mermaids have a siren song that lure men to their deaths. (Somebody read<i> The Odyssey</i> before they made this! I remember reading that in my ninth grade Lit class with Mrs. Bradley as my teacher.) While Ariel (and I'm assuming all mermaids) have beautiful voices, it's not like they're using them to lure humans to their deaths even though King Triton (Javier Bardem) believes that all humans are barbarians. We do learn that Ariel's mother was killed by a human, so I suppose Triton's disdain of humans is justified! </div><div><br /></div><div>Speaking of family dynamics, Ursula is Ariel's aunt; Triton is her older brother. We find this out when we first meet Ursula and she's able to see everything with her magical orb. When she sees the Coral Moon ceremony, she mentions how they "forgot to invite Auntie Ursula to the party." I wonder how that works, though, since Triton is a merman and Ursula is an octopus. Yes, she does have the upper body of a human, but how did she get eight tentacles? I wonder if she transferred herself that way when she went to the dark side. We need an Ursula origin story! </div><div><br /></div><div>Also, speaking of mermaid anatomy, don't mermaids need to go up for air? Aren't they, like dolphins? In that they can stay under water for a few hours at a time, then come up for air? Okay, I just looked up how long dolphins can stay underwater at a time and I was way off. It looks like they can hold their breath anywhere from five to ten minutes, maybe even twenty minutes, but not hours at a time. Maybe I'm thinking of whales. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that since mermaids are half human, you'd think they would need to come up for air too! But I guess they are part fish too, so the question is, do they breathe with lungs or gills? Mermaids are effing weird if you think about it. </div></div><div><br /></div><div>"Part of Your World" is the first big song we hear and I think it's the best song in the movie and the one that translated best to this new film. Halle Bailey has a phenomenal voice that suits a Disney princess quite well. It still has the essence of the original, but she adds her own touch to it. I do love that when she later turns into a human, we see her reacting to a fire that's burning in the castle's fireplace and she reaches out to touch it, before recoiling from its heat. That's a nice callback from the line, "What's a fire, and why does it, what's the word? Buuuuuurrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnn!" </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjzApr9sQw5vqbznLwJDkdvWjB8e-_Y3DvAoo6-U3mil9E_y8cDUaXigA56gmANsiU5S1leFfpt-aiafIpEGbrMSK5GuB_EUep6h6dxIfSGnaCrNyetkKc54xdLpkbaXJKY2LnFXrbwCIlI8LX4xeSF1YgLDCJYAng_ZhfHrx0TR17XHA_f_qE6GHipNMk" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1622" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjzApr9sQw5vqbznLwJDkdvWjB8e-_Y3DvAoo6-U3mil9E_y8cDUaXigA56gmANsiU5S1leFfpt-aiafIpEGbrMSK5GuB_EUep6h6dxIfSGnaCrNyetkKc54xdLpkbaXJKY2LnFXrbwCIlI8LX4xeSF1YgLDCJYAng_ZhfHrx0TR17XHA_f_qE6GHipNMk=w200-h133" width="200" /></a></div>After she sings this, she sees fireworks coming from the ship above the surface and goes to investigate. This is the first time she actually goes to the surface. Of course this is the ship that Prince Eric is on with Grimbsy and the rest of his crew. A big change to this movie (that desperately needed it) is that we learn a lot more about Prince Eric. Pretty much in the animated movie, Ariel falls for him because she thinks he's attractive and he thinks she's attractive and they fall in love and live happily ever after. They try to give him a little more depth; they're not just having Ariel looking at him with googly eyes and deciding she's going to give up the only life she's ever known just to follow a guy because she thinks he's hot. She very boldly hoists herself up on a lifeboat on the side of the ship to see what's going on. Of course, this is the part of the movie where a huge storm will capsize the ship and while the other men get on the lifeboats, Ariel will save Eric from drowning. But before that, she will hear Grimsby telling Eric that now that he's become of age (21), his responsibilities are at home. Eric replies, Yes, trapped inside the castle in isolation and fear." He tells Grimsby he wants to be "a different kind of leader" and that "they need to stay open to what's out here, that's the only way [their] island can grow" and also adds that he "feels there's something out there, calling to [him]." </div><div><br /></div><div>A difference between both movies is how much both species hate each other. In the animated movie, Triton is very anti-human, telling Ariel she's forbidden from going to the surface, but I don't remember the humans being so vitriolic towards the mermaids. If anything, they're just curious about them. After their boat has been capsized, the Queen attributes the shipwrecks and hurricanes to the "sea gods" and believes that "they are eroding our land from under us, stealing it back into the ocean." On the other hand (fin?), when Ariel is helping her sisters clean up the wreckage from the shipwreck, they all pretty much act like the humans did this on purpose. WTF? At least Ariel is like, "I don't think they intended to have a shipwreck." Yeah, and if you asked the Queen, she would tell you it was the fault of the sea gods. I could understand the mermaids being angry if they found trash thrown overboard by the humans, but that isn't this case at all. One of the mermaids says, "They'd kill us if they had the chance" which echoes what the Queen says about them. So both species thinks the other wants to kill them. This reminds me of <i>Romeo and Juliet</i>. Wow, I'm just name dropping all the literary greats! </div><div><br /></div><div>Ariel has now become smitten with the prince and is humming to herself. Triton thinks this means she is in love, but he thinks it's with a merman. When he asks Sebastien about it, the little crab is so flustered and spills the beans that it's a human man, not a merman Ariel is in a haze about. Honestly, I'm kind of surprised that Sebastien was so nervous about it because Triton is joking with him because at this point he thinks it's a merman that has stolen the heart of Ariel, that Sebastien could have just denied the whole thing or tell the King he doesn't know who it is. But he lets it slide that Ariel is in love with a human and Triton is pretty upset about this. After he forbids Ariel from going to the surface and destroying the statue of the prince, Ursula appears in her magical bubble and Ariel asks who she is and Ursula replies, "You must not remember me. I'm your Auntie Ursula." There's a funny moment when Ariel replies, "The Sea Witch?" and Ursula drops her sickly sweet voice and deadpans, "The what?" I loved Melissa McCarthy's delivery there. She convinces Ariel to come see her, telling her she can help her and Ariel does, escorted by the two eels. Now the eels in the animated movie are named Flotsam and Jetsam, but I don't think they're named in this movie. They also don't talk like they did in the '89 movie, although they don't talk often in that one if I remember right. </div><div><br /></div><div>So Ariel swims to Ursula's creepy underwater lair (okay, to be fair, I guess everything is under water!). As she goes through it, there's a skeleton of a mermaid, lots of mermaid skulls, creepy aquatic plants with eyes, fire that blows out of holes when she passes by, and weird sea plants that look like claws and grab at her when she swims by; one even grabs her around the throat. If I were her, I would have a lot of questions and concerns! I'd also be like, hell no, I'm getting out of here! Ursula calls it her "aggressive garden" and she calls her relations with with Triton "squidley rivalry". </div><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh8o-l6Z6GfhtUjvu0BuzU9zD2AdZ24gcff1oYTzP_ZbumJMLW3PNPyM-Ps-XT1Ej7ZYqY_7LqyRYQNnIPMgiWLqkkZknMrKH2jiciDBll8rMyyXLMJX8dptBxdvearZE7MZBYfUH6l0Q8HG5YUYVCfvqDQp7dHIkUtrGqOFQYyyNhfwZd29zihxc2ztQo" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="380" data-original-width="760" height="100" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh8o-l6Z6GfhtUjvu0BuzU9zD2AdZ24gcff1oYTzP_ZbumJMLW3PNPyM-Ps-XT1Ej7ZYqY_7LqyRYQNnIPMgiWLqkkZknMrKH2jiciDBll8rMyyXLMJX8dptBxdvearZE7MZBYfUH6l0Q8HG5YUYVCfvqDQp7dHIkUtrGqOFQYyyNhfwZd29zihxc2ztQo=w200-h100" width="200" /></a></div></div><div>So of course this is when Ursula tells Ariel she will create a portion for her to become human for three days and before the sun sets on the third day, she and the prince must share a "kiss of true love" and if that happens, Ariel will remain human permanently. If she doesn't complete this task, she'll turn back into a mermaid and will belong to Ursula. If were Ariel, I'd be asking, What do you mean I belong to you? What exactly does that entail? Ursula also adds that Ariel won't have her "siren song because that wouldn't be fair", which, okay, I get that, but why not at let her least talk? I know, I know, they're going by the animated movie and, also, Ariel could just basically tell Eric what's going on. Okay, that was a stupid question. Forget I asked it! </div><div><div><br /></div><div>This is when we get "Poor Unfortunate Souls", another great song, although it doesn't have the oomph that the original did. You could tell that Melissa McCarthy as Ursula was channeling Pat Carroll (the original Ursula). I have stated before that "Be Prepared" (from <i>The Lion King</i>) is my favorite Disney villain song, but this is in strong contention for my second favorite.</div><div><br /></div><div>When asked if she wants to go through with it, Ariel is hesitant and replies, "I don't know." I feel like the animated Ariel was also a little hesitant, but more ready to take the plunge (or opposite of plunge in this case!) while this Ariel seems to be weighing the consequences. Honestly, I think both options are pretty horrible. Yes, if she manages to kiss Prince Eric, she can remain human, but she'll never see her family again and even if she does come back as a mermaid, she's basically Ursula's little mermaid. I don't think I'd want to depend on Ursula to make the rules for me! But, of course, Ariel signs the contract (which includes plucking a scale from her tail and giving a drop of blood) and she gives up her voice to become a human. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj-U8E6ADaHywvE7RT2QcayIB-psVUWeU_XL2b-2heW26aHq_4BBv6Yy_3CskzQm6XHEpMGAqpYdc8FQFjV8eGe_urjJgtYPfj40Dr_AgO9jl8YcFSHkjFI9QbZoBBmhNrQ22nzaC-3Nj_0gdzTZHGMxtRYaflh0B_AK7ykbUMQRZHYob-faoGRdDFdeuA" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="675" data-original-width="1200" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj-U8E6ADaHywvE7RT2QcayIB-psVUWeU_XL2b-2heW26aHq_4BBv6Yy_3CskzQm6XHEpMGAqpYdc8FQFjV8eGe_urjJgtYPfj40Dr_AgO9jl8YcFSHkjFI9QbZoBBmhNrQ22nzaC-3Nj_0gdzTZHGMxtRYaflh0B_AK7ykbUMQRZHYob-faoGRdDFdeuA=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div></div><div><br /></div><div>Okay, before I continue, I forgot to mention "Under the Sea" which comes after "Part of Your World" and before "Poor Unfortunate Souls". It's the song that's probably the most popular from the movie, but it just isn't the same. The main issue I have with it is that Ariel harmonizes along with Sebastien, singing "Under the Sea" (uh, I mean those literal words, she doesn't sing the entire song with him, just to be clear!) In the animated film, she does humor him and bops her head a little at the beginning, but then towards the middle, she's barely paying attention anymore, and by the end, we see her swim off with Flounder. In this movie, she still swims off with Flounder, but it makes no sense that she's singing along with Sebastien and dancing to the music. </div></div><div><br /></div><div>So Ariel becomes human right there in the depths of the ocean. You would think Ursula would let her swim up to the surface first, but this is Ursula were talking about. She's pretty deep underwater, wouldn't she get the bends? I don't think Ariel really thought this through because when she does surface (complete with the hair fling - which I know is an iconic moment from the animated movie, but I don't think it translated as well to the live version, but I do understand why they felt like they had to have it), she's completely in the middle of the ocean. Now in the animated movie, she's near land and she meets the prince within, like, five minutes, which was pretty convenient. Here, she (and Flounder and Sebastien) get caught up in the net of a fishing boat. Obviously, she is naked, but the nets and seaweed are covering her up. I'm sure this is one of the reasons why they changed it. This is when Scuttle scoops down and lands on Ariel's knee and makes a comment about how there's something different about her and Sebastien gets so irritated with her and says, "She's got legs, you idiot!" I love how frustrated Sebastien gets with Scuttle. Before the fisherman notices Ariel, Sebastien tosses Flounder back in the ocean and hides in a crate with other crustaceans. When the fisherman does notice her, he thinks she's a victim of a shipwreck and gives her something to cover up in. </div><div> </div><div>They added a little twist to the plot when we get a scene of Ursula talking to her eels, telling them that she made sure Ariel won't remember she needs to kiss Eric. Wow, that's way harsh! I don't think this plot point was in the animated movie and not sure why they changed it. I guess this Ursula thought this Ariel would be able to make it happen and just wanted the security that it wouldn't. </div><div><br /></div><div>Ariel is taken to the castle (I can't remember why she's taken there) and the maids give her a bath and when she tries to eat the soap, they just think she's really hungry. I laughed at the look Ariel gives one of the maids who tells her "Let's get that seaweed stink off of you." </div><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh3lbCU40l53PeTOaeCgtekVOIuUWnBNY5RE_FMBdEqUn0T6z2LjCh2-uPMwAUq-hZ8GIRmA0lWX-4rUDX9ZjvTaAMcP8HKrgiGnuIH6Sq3FHCb3_O4VDwbi1TyhM_jQou86jUNZAe-Zp_9NfgEEe2CTZckmCnRtscAuDO18bunOACXiemPpjSX-C2sTdU" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="6000" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEh3lbCU40l53PeTOaeCgtekVOIuUWnBNY5RE_FMBdEqUn0T6z2LjCh2-uPMwAUq-hZ8GIRmA0lWX-4rUDX9ZjvTaAMcP8HKrgiGnuIH6Sq3FHCb3_O4VDwbi1TyhM_jQou86jUNZAe-Zp_9NfgEEe2CTZckmCnRtscAuDO18bunOACXiemPpjSX-C2sTdU=w200-h133" width="200" /></a></div></div><div>I mentioned earlier how I thought it was way convenient how Ariel just comes across Eric at the beach in the 1989 version, but in this one, as the maids are dressing her (and they're giving this poor girl who's literally just learning to walk high heeled boots!), she hears them talking about him and how he won't rest until he finds the girl that saved him. As they say this, they realize that the girl in front of them might be the one he was talking about and they retrieve him. When Eric asks her what her name is, the maids tell him she doesn't speak and he realizes it can't be her since his mystery girl was singing to him. He tells her she's welcome to stay at the castle for as long as she needs. </div><div><div> </div><div>Sebastien makes his way up to the room where Ariel is staying and at first he wants to get her back to the King and see if she can be a mermaid again, but he also doesn't want Ariel to be miserable for the rest of her life, so he agrees to help her kiss the prince. He realizes that Ariel doesn't have any recollection of this, that she just gives him a blank stare. As he later tells Scuttle when Ariel is out, "the thought jumps clear right out of her head". We get a funny moment (and perhaps a nod to the original fairy tale?) when Scuttle tells Sebastien that Flounder has filled her in on what's going on and asks, "Has Ariel killed the prince yet?" </div><div><br /></div></div><div>In this version, they basically make Eric into a male human version of Ariel. Seriously, it's a little too on the nose. When Ariel is at the castle, she finds a huge room that is just filled with lots of paraphernalia from the ocean. So just like Ariel likes to collect human things from land, Eric likes collecting things from the sea! He has a little figurine of a mermaid that he found off the coast of Cartagena that he calls his "little mermaid" and tells Ariel that he "never believed all that lore about mermaids luring sailors to their deaths." He gives Ariel the mermaid as a gift since he has so much stuff from his voyages. He also shows her a huge fossilized sea stone and when he gives it to Ariel to look at, he's horrified when she smashed is on the ground, but then when she reveals a beautiful gem inside the stone, he's amazed. He's also amazed when he shows her a large conch shell and she blows into it, making a sound like a horn. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgp3_ZiI7OZCQ_Vvg_r1XMpu0zlVrm8MaQr6DwRWYxgf6LccDL2n9CSOadMN_C6F133Bazt8Yip1wRbBh8HamevfqzS_EXF0kiRvCnvN4uhL0Xgt_UOdDp_4JuuUYKGyzuHWSUwXlRoLBHRo-qcP8qd3uOSwSF2U2HrozSEPTxIwLUVEVyG6zmDwgcoHko" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="1200" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgp3_ZiI7OZCQ_Vvg_r1XMpu0zlVrm8MaQr6DwRWYxgf6LccDL2n9CSOadMN_C6F133Bazt8Yip1wRbBh8HamevfqzS_EXF0kiRvCnvN4uhL0Xgt_UOdDp_4JuuUYKGyzuHWSUwXlRoLBHRo-qcP8qd3uOSwSF2U2HrozSEPTxIwLUVEVyG6zmDwgcoHko=w200-h133" width="200" /></a></div>We see them bond as Eric shows her a map of some of the places in and around South America he's visited. He also shows her a map of the island they're on and offers to show her around the next day. They take a carriage ride and come across an outdoor market. There's a fun Easter egg where a woman gives Ariel some fruit with a fork and when she receives it, she starts combing her hair with the fork and is given weird looks by everyone. While that is a shoutout from the animated movie (Ariel uses the fork to comb her hair during dinner!), the woman is played by Jodi Benson, the original voice of Ariel. I didn't know this the first time I watched it because I have no idea what Jodi Benson looks like now (or 30 years ago!), but I read it somewhere and I knew it was her when I watched it a second time. </div><div><br /></div><div>Ariel and Eric join in dancing to calypso music and Ariel picks out a straw hat for Eric. This hat will come in play later when it's becoming dusk and she and Eric are heading back to the castle. Scuttle nabs the hat and flies off with it and Ariel and Eric chase after the bird and end up at a lagoon where Scuttle has dropped the hat in a row boat. Eric sees that Ariel is interested in the boat, so they get in and start paddling. Scuttle tells Sebastien and Flounder (who are also there), "I think it's time for a little vocal romantic stimulation" and proceeds to do a "bow chicka wow wow" routine. I love how Sebastien just simply says "Please, no." If you haven't already guessed, this is when we get "Kiss the Girl". While I think it is so much better in the animated movie, I think it's really cute in this one. For one thing, in the animated movie, Sebastian has a whole orchestra of animals (fish and flamingoes among them) singing along, while in this one, it's only Flounder and Scuttle singing along with Sebastien so it's not as epic. When they sing the chorus, Scuttle screams "he's gonna MISS THE GIRL!" and Sebastien tells her, "pull back, Scuttle, pull back." </div><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgf9KWqQpTKCy82IyIGXuQ45wZLLexyUJwkfeAZ-auY9b7jTWs9w_QDa-KA1BV9tPKLZPOnHSR1VOw4joccHvUemDbpppHEM1F0gf5zKsENeUi005y8KQaT3_ALQPN-mRKOJwVj-P1_DBZvXpfN9LUIIDGWdr9adKls4F9wwnvuX5C5fHGxrZ959tStO4M" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="1180" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgf9KWqQpTKCy82IyIGXuQ45wZLLexyUJwkfeAZ-auY9b7jTWs9w_QDa-KA1BV9tPKLZPOnHSR1VOw4joccHvUemDbpppHEM1F0gf5zKsENeUi005y8KQaT3_ALQPN-mRKOJwVj-P1_DBZvXpfN9LUIIDGWdr9adKls4F9wwnvuX5C5fHGxrZ959tStO4M=w320-h163" width="320" /></a></div></div><div> During the song's interlude, Eric shows Ariel the different constellations and tells her what they're called and mentions he still doesn't know her name and starts guessing random names. In the animated movie they just have Sebastien whisper her name in his ear, but in this one she pointes to the Aries constellation and when he says it, she puts her finger over his lips on the second syllable and I guess tries to make him say the "L" sound? I'm not really sure, but he gets Ariel and she nods enthusiastically. At first, I was wondering why she just didn't write it down on a piece of parchment, but then realized she probably doesn't know how to read and write. In reality, she probably shouldn't know English as if mermaids DID exist, they would probably have their own language. In the animated movie, there is some slight criticism because Ariel signs her name on the contact Ursula produces for her so it would make sense for her to just write down what's going on....although maybe she only knew how to sign her name? I don't know, but that's probably why they changed it to Ursula binding the contract with a scale and and a drop of blood. Anyway, the song continues and they are about to kiss, but their boat is tipped over and you see the two eels swimming away. </div><div><br /></div><div>We see Ursula witnessing this with her magical orb and she says it was too close and she can't "let that happen again" and she decides to take "matters into her own tentacles." Obviously we know that this means turning into a beautiful human herself with Ariel's angelic voice.</div><div><br /></div><div>While Ariel and Eric were out, carriages had been sent out to try to find the "mystery girl" and when they return from their outing and Eric has said goodnight to Ariel and she's gone to her room, Grimsby tells Eric that they didn't find his mystery girl. He asks him if they should continue the search for her. Eric seems unsure so Grimsby offers him some advice: "Don't be held back by what you think should be. Think only of what is." In other words, he's telling him he's obviously smitten with this girl he's already met and has gotten to know her and why would he bother looking for another girl who may or may not exist? </div><div><br /></div><div>We see Eric outside on the beach, contemplating, I guess, when he seems to have an epiphany and starts running towards the castle. He stops suddenly when he hears the same singing voice that he heard the day he was rescued. He sees a beautiful girl with dark hair just standing on the rocks in the ocean like she just appeared there. Now in the animated movie they give her the name Vanessa, but I don't remember anyone ever calling her by a name. </div><div><br /></div><div>The next morning Ariel finds out that Eric is getting engaged (through that horrible song I mentioned earlier!) and she thinks she's the lucky girl, but soon discovers that she's NOT the lucky girl he's engaged to. Of course, this devastates her and she runs away. She doesn't even seem to notice that Eric seems to be in a trance. (Because he's being brain-washed, that's why!) It's Scuttle who discovers that Vanessa (I'm just going to call her that) is actually Ursula and she goes to warn Ariel and the others. When she does, Ariel heads back to the castle and Sebastien tells Flounder to tell King Triton what's going on (we did get a scene of him earlier with his other daughters discussing how they've searched all seven seas and no sign of Ariel anywhere) and he tells Scuttle to fly him to the castle. There's a hilarious scene where Scuttle is getting close to the castle (she's holding Sebastien in her beak) and he tells her that he'll let her know when he wants her to drop him. He dumbly asks her, "Got it?" and when she replies, "Got it!", she drops him and he falls into the ocean below. Oh, man, I was laughing so hard at that part. I love how he screams, "You idiot!" as he's falling. </div><div><br /></div><div>In this movie, it's the engagement party that they crash, not the actual wedding that they have in the animated film. I guess they thought it was a tad too early for Eric to get married to a girl he literally just met the day before! Scuttle starts attacking Vanessa, and Max, Eric's sheepdog, also joins in. There's a lot more creatures in the animated movie (I remember seals being there) that go after the disguised sea witch, but this one they keep the chaos down to a minimum. I also like how in this film it's Ariel who grabs the necklace around Vanessa's throat and just rips it off her and smashes it on the ground and regains her voice. In the animated movie, the necklace comes off during all the pandemonium and breaks on its own and Ariel's voice finds her way back to her. Eric seems to snap out of his trance when he realizes that Ariel is the girl he was looking for all along, that she was the one who rescued him and sang to him on the beach. They are about to kiss, but of course the sun goes down and it's too late - the curse has been broken and Ariel turns back into a mermaid as everyone gasps. Even more alarming, Ursula becomes her sea witch self again and she grabs Ariel and they both dive into the ocean where King Triton is there to meet them. Ursula tells him that if he gives himself and his trident up to her, she will let Ariel go and he takes that deal. She turns Triton into a small, pathetic part of her garden and takes his trident. Now I'm not sure exactly how far deep down they are in the water, but Eric swims down with a harpoon, trying to puncture Ursula, but misses. Ursula sends her eels after him and points the trident at him, but Ariel grabs her arm and she accidentally kills her eels with the trident instead. </div><div><br /></div><div>Ariel is able to escape (although it's not like she was restrained) and she swims to the surface with Eric, telling him he needs to get out but he tells her he's not going to lose her again. This is when Ursula becomes a giant version of herself and creates a huge whirlpool. In the animated movie, it's Eric who saves Ariel by impaling Ursula with the bowsprit (I had to look that up on Wikipedia) of his wrecked ship, but in this movie they flip the script and have Ariel save Eric by doing the same thing. Since Ariel is still a (little!) mermaid, she can't exactly walk to the wheel and steer it in the direction it needs to go; instead she sort of slithers towards the wheel and it's very uncanny. It honestly kind of creeped me out and made me think of this book I read a few years ago called <i>Into the Drowning Deep</i> which is about creepy, murderous, bloodthirsty non-English (or any known language) speaking mermaids with grotesque bodies. It's a super gory book, but I loved every second of it and there is a shoutout to <i>The Little Mermaid </i>in it when one of the characters calls one of the mermaids "Ariel". If you don't mind your fairy tale image of mermaids being ruined and can handle a bit of gore, I highly recommend it. </div><div><br /></div><div>So Ursula is killed and Triton and the other merfolk that Ursula had captive are released and returned to their natural size. Triton sees how much his daughter wants to be with Eric, so he transforms her into a human she's able to be with him. I really liked her wedding dress with the relaxed, beachy island vibes. </div><div><br /></div><div>Overall, I think this movie was pretty good. Yeah, the songs just weren't the same, but at least they tried with making Ariel's and Eric's relationship based more on physical looks. </div>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-60292778806567920582023-10-04T17:38:00.005-05:002024-01-16T10:11:16.631-06:00Time Is Not On Their Side<div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Old</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Director: M. Night Shyamalan</div><div style="text-align: left;">Cast: Gael Garcia Bernal, Rufus Sewell, Vicky Krieps, Ken Leung, Nikki Amuka-Bird, Alex Wolff, Thomasin McKenzie</div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: July 23, 2021</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgyx5Vumo266qI56GVUsfwD5WQBKHYC6HkTpSc0s_J8KCFZo-xRlY_Ls4quI31I6DMgXzfgz1stZY4lo73guNbmMBXBxkPh6SR5zR6-k1o17Pf0gF0xoMq89iZ-0QN3Af6f6wljUYA1L4Dcttj2kzBDI5Cp1VeRJoDteO0pmY-Rda_t_5vlTkkAkFR5SRY" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="675" data-original-width="1200" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgyx5Vumo266qI56GVUsfwD5WQBKHYC6HkTpSc0s_J8KCFZo-xRlY_Ls4quI31I6DMgXzfgz1stZY4lo73guNbmMBXBxkPh6SR5zR6-k1o17Pf0gF0xoMq89iZ-0QN3Af6f6wljUYA1L4Dcttj2kzBDI5Cp1VeRJoDteO0pmY-Rda_t_5vlTkkAkFR5SRY=w400-h225" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Before I dive into my review, a quick summary of my history with M. Night Shyamalan-directed films: Now I know he directed two movies before <i>The Sixth Sense</i>, but I've never seen them and I don't think many people have heard of them and I highly doubt either of them have his signature twist ending, and nobody knew who he was pre-<i>The Sixth Sense</i>, so that's why I'm gonna start with that one. So I, as many people, loved <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2016/10/de-profundis-clamo-ad-te-domine.html">The Sixth Sense</a> and I saw<i> Unbreakable</i>, <i>Signs</i>, and<i> The Village</i>. I really liked the first two (though not as much <i>T6S</i>), but I was pretty meh on <i>The Village</i>. That's the only movie of the ones I've listed so far that I've only seen once. I've seen the others at least three times. Then we have a bunch of his movies that came out that I didn't see, mostly because I heard they were pretty bad! This includes <i>Lady in the Water </i>and<i> The Happening</i>. Then after THAT, he did what I often hear are the two worst movies he's ever directed: <i>The Last Airbender </i>and <i>After Earth</i>. Even if those movies had gotten rave reviews, I wouldn't have seen them because I'm not interested in the subject matter. I know the former is based on some animated show that I know nothing about and the latter is a sci-fi apocalyptic movie with Will Smith and his son. The next movie to come out in his filmography is <i>The Visit</i>, which I haven't seen, but has gotten positive reactions for the most part. He can really go up from here and I have seen all his movies that's been released since then: <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2020/03/unbreakablesplitglass.html">Split, Glass,</a> <i>Old</i> (obviously!), and his latest, <i>Knock at the Cabin</i>. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I would say that what would normally be considered the twist in<i> Old </i>is not only revealed in the trailer, but it's also revealed in the title! (Not to mention the movie poster where you see a woman sitting on a beach and half of her is young, while the other half is old. Not exactly how it worked in this movie, but I understand what they were going for). I suppose since you find out what's going on in the movie thirty minutes in, they didn't want to keep a secret from the audience, but they sure do give a lot away in the trailer! I don't think there's necessary a twist at the end of the movie, but more of a reveal. Of course, when I get to anything which I believe to be truly spoiler-y, I will give a warning! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">There are many characters in this movie, but our main focus is on the Cappa family who we first meet when they're taking a shuttle bus from the airport to the Anamika Resort where they're headed for a nice (so they think!) beach vacation. Guy (Gael Garcia Bernal) and Prisca (Vicky Krieps) are the parents and their children are eleven-year-old daughter Maddox and six-year-old son Trent. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In just a few short minutes, we get many references to time: </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">-Maddox is singing and her mom mentions she has a beautiful voice and she can't wait to hear it when Maddox is older.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">-Trent asks if the resort offers scuba diving and how old one has to be to participate in it and his dad tells him he might be too young.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">-Trent whines that their dad said they would be there in five minutes and it's been more than five minutes and asks when they're going to get there and his mom replies, "Stop wishing away this moment." </div><p>They soon arrive at the resort where a bunch of people are waiting for them, waiting to serve their every need and the adults are offered a cocktail to welcome them. Prisca mentions to her husband, "This is much better than Cancun." Ha! Just give it a day, Prisca, and you'll be redacting that statement! We also find out that Prisca found this place online. We never find out where this place is located, but I know it was filmed in the Dominican Republic. I don't think we (as in the audience) are supposed to know where this place is geographically located. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjA8BkpujG8uNIpzNffQhHX-Z2wB_FD9MAAakNkhD1tcMvgv5ixyCN6oPi15vnI_Dej8ujMwFaE6BXg7Hkv9UVr7YxARGlfsi94IQ2C7BI6xv62PA2O1LBMSlxjNFI01jIIKy_lvffKrhvLVsJ7FNSJw5V9gK4NpVja4K--W3rW2SkHc8rEIOYxTpbr99s" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="249" data-original-width="560" height="89" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjA8BkpujG8uNIpzNffQhHX-Z2wB_FD9MAAakNkhD1tcMvgv5ixyCN6oPi15vnI_Dej8ujMwFaE6BXg7Hkv9UVr7YxARGlfsi94IQ2C7BI6xv62PA2O1LBMSlxjNFI01jIIKy_lvffKrhvLVsJ7FNSJw5V9gK4NpVja4K--W3rW2SkHc8rEIOYxTpbr99s=w200-h89" width="200" /></a></div><p></p><p>The resort has a candy station where Trent and Maddox meet Idlib, who is the six-year-old nephew of the resort manager. I guess he lives at the resort? I wasn't really sure about that. Since he and Trent are the same age they become fast friends and we see them playing together at the beach and going around to adults and asking them their names and what they do for a living. This is something only a couple of adorable six-year-olds can get away with this. I figured this was going to come back in the movie and it does. Idlib tells Trent that he doesn't have any friends, but Trent tells him that he's his friend and they can FaceTime each other after he leaves and even suggests that they can go to the same college, then "become neighbors with mortgages." It's a cute, funny scene, but also a little sad in hindsight, especially if you know what's about to happen. (Which you might if you know the premise of the movie!) Idlib has also created fun little secret messages for Trent to decode. He has different symbols that represent a letter of the alphabet. We see one of the messages that Trent decodes says "Ice cream eating contest tomorrow." </p><p>In their bedroom, Guy and Prisca are talking about how they would give the kids "one last vacation before telling them." There are only two things that they could be talking about: 1) they're getting divorced, or 2) one of the parents has a medical condition. Well, it turns out it's both! Geeze, with this kind of disparaging news, they should have taken the kids to Disney World! But it turns out that they were planning on separating even before they found out Prisca was sick (we won't find out what she was diagnosed with until later in the movie) and she doesn't want to tell the kids about her "irrelevant medical condition." </p><p>The next morning, we meet more characters who will be going on this crazy journey. Charles (Rufus Sewell) is a doctor married to a woman, Chrystal (Abbey Lee), who is much younger than him. They have a daughter, Kara, who recently turned six and they are with Charle's mother, Agnes, and she has her small dog. Chrystal is gorgeous and in great shape and she knows it. Of course you need a character obsessed with her youth and beauty in a movie like this! </p><p>Another couple who is important to this story is Jarin (Ken Leung) and Patricia (Nikki Amuka-Bird). We meet them when they're having breakfast outside and Patrica starts having a seizure. Charles, the doctor, who's also having breakfast with his family, goes over to help and Jarin tells him he is a nurse and his wife has epilepsy. It is not uncommon for Patricia to have seizures and after a few moments, she is fine. Now, I admit I don't know much about seizures, but when I googled them, the first thing that came up is that if someone has two or more seizures in more than 24 hours, it's called epilepsy, so apparently this a daily occurrence for this woman which is terrifying. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgZzWhXY8yu9Ak7swiGiBYBiAdjYlD0IbQBsccn_ENGU_pXmckikG7YBeGesItJkQJ9y2fcq2nekKJysJeZD80JTOqMyuDm-9YBfTWbF7nC9ud1XiilvYbYy8HRzUZU7edlW2MJp8lUkwXNWoyp20woRbCtS_ZS4ASPb0oY4g78kDyBqtoO-JbjrpEqc5k" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="501" data-original-width="1024" height="98" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgZzWhXY8yu9Ak7swiGiBYBiAdjYlD0IbQBsccn_ENGU_pXmckikG7YBeGesItJkQJ9y2fcq2nekKJysJeZD80JTOqMyuDm-9YBfTWbF7nC9ud1XiilvYbYy8HRzUZU7edlW2MJp8lUkwXNWoyp20woRbCtS_ZS4ASPb0oY4g78kDyBqtoO-JbjrpEqc5k=w200-h98" width="200" /></a></div>Also having breakfast is the Cappa family. Before the epilepsy incident, the resort manager comes up to their table to recommend that they visit a private beach that is on the nature preserve side of the island. He calls it "a once-in-a lifetime experience." Well, he certainly isn't lying about that! He also tells them he only recommends it to certain guests. Ha! I bet he does! He tells them he can arrange a van to take them there for the day and they agree. Oh, if only they knew how this decision would affect the rest of their lives. Literally. While this is going on, Trent spots Idlib peeking around and his uncle quickly goes over to him and tells him he's not supposed to be in this area. Idlib goes to make another puzzle for Trent to solve because before they get in the van to visit this secluded beach, we see the piece of paper in his backpack. Also in the van is Charles, Chrystal, Kara, and Agnes with her small dog. <p></p><p>Now we all know M. Night Shyamalan always (usually?) gives himself a cameo in his movies. And they're not blink-and-you'll-miss-him type cameos, oh no, he is pretty much on screen for a few minutes, so you know when he makes an appearance. Sometimes he has more screen time in his movies than others and I would say this is one of those movies. He is the van driver, taking these two families to the secluded beach. Once they get there, he does a checklist to make sure they have everything they need (like sunscreen) and asks them if they made sure they left their passports in their safes back at the resort because he doesn't want anybody to lose anything. Now the first time you're watching this, you're thinking, of that's nice of him, but when you watch it a second time, you realize why he's asking them that. Or maybe you realized it the first time! He tells them they can call him when they're ready to leave and he'll pick them up or he'll be back at five, whichever comes first. (I assume at this time, it's nine or ten a.m.) He has also brought a TON of food for them which Guy thinks is a waste, but the driver tells him there are three kids and kids each a lot of food. Sure, teenagers (especially boys) eat a lot of food, but do kids eat a lot? I feel like kids are really picky when it comes to food, they're not usually scarfing it down. There are two six-year-olds and an eleven-year-old with them; honestly, they're probably going to eat less than the adults. Since there's so much stuff, Charles asks the van driver if he can help, but he tells them he needs to get back. Yeah, once we realize what's going on, it will be pretty obvious why he refused to help them! On the way to the beach, they walk through a canyon/cave. </p><p>When they get there, they are not the only ones on the beach. There is a man already there, sitting by himself against the rocks. Maddox gets excited because she recognizes him as the rapper, Mid-Sized Sedan (who came up with that name?) and is aghast when her dad doesn't know his hit song, "More Dough for the Cookie'" (again, who came up with that name?). We had actually seen him earlier; I think it was supposed to be earlier that morning where he and a young blonde woman were on the beach and the woman takes off her clothes and starts walking into the ocean, looking seductively over her shoulder at him. That's all we got before we see him here. Maddox wants to talk to him, but her parents tell her to leave him alone since he's on vacation. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj9ZX4umPkVPMKkOo1Jrq3XwPodQACcKi2WFaJwO3OB8ooWE6r35444LxIgC4_WtPx5d3v0eVKsLRHBMtEnJYihPC_xDUuuDO4LrXG_hlYvak80pKHfZluCpYIgZUCtuyFKuz-gPijkbsavo1biX4L98274LguLfCp7UFU0--OyNYuSHzHueY1XBSFZ-Yk" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="338" data-original-width="600" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj9ZX4umPkVPMKkOo1Jrq3XwPodQACcKi2WFaJwO3OB8ooWE6r35444LxIgC4_WtPx5d3v0eVKsLRHBMtEnJYihPC_xDUuuDO4LrXG_hlYvak80pKHfZluCpYIgZUCtuyFKuz-gPijkbsavo1biX4L98274LguLfCp7UFU0--OyNYuSHzHueY1XBSFZ-Yk=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div>There's a bit of tension between Guy and Prisca when Prisca, who's reading, covers the title of her book and asks Guy what she's reading and he replies that he doesn't know. I guess this is to show that they're drifting apart, but honestly, I don't think not knowing the book your significant other is reading is the biggest deal. Maybe they don't have the same tastes in their reading material. I bet you my mom doesn't always know what my dad is reading and vice versa. <p></p><p>The three kids are having fun, all playing together on the beach. We see them notice stuff in the sand, near a giant rock wall, and most of it seems to be rusted silverware from the hotel. They play hide-and-go-seek and when Trent is hiding in the water behind a rock wall, he notices that there are no fish around him. Also, from behind him we can see a naked body floating facedown, about to bump into him. Ahhhh! Even though we don't see the face, I know it was the young blonde woman who we last saw wading into the ocean. The body bumps into Trent and the poor kid is terrified and screams for his mom. Everybody comes running and Prisca takes the kids away while Guy and Charles lift the body from the water. We see Brendon come up and both his nostrils are bleeding and he can't seem to get it to stop. You know, I don't think I've ever had a bloody nose in my life and I'm kinda glad cuz there's just something especially gross about it. Charles tries to call the police, but he can't get any reception.</p><p>Guy asks Brendon about the woman and he tells him that she swam out by herself and he was waiting for her. He then gets defensive and says he had nothing to do with it when Charles asks him why his nose is bleeding, but he refuses to say anything more. </p><p>We next get some small moments of things to come which includes Agnes laying under an umbrella and telling her daughter-in-law that her chests feels funny and Chrystal replying that they should have gone on a yacht like she suggested and Trent telling his mother that his swimsuit is starting to hurt. </p><p>At that moment, Patricia and Jarin show up. Guy wants to try to catch the bus driver before he leaves and tells the couple that he thinks they all need to leave. Jarin tells him he's already left. He and his wife see the body, now covered with a towel. They ask what happened and while Guy tells them they don't know, Charles indicates Brendon had something to do with it and thinks his nose is bleeding because he and the now deceased woman got into a fight. Brendon tells him his nose has been bleeding for hours and he doesn't know why it's been doing that. Chrystal comes running up to tell Charles that something is wrong with his mother. While Charles goes to check on her, Jarin tells the others he's going to go to the clearing by the jungle to see if he can get a signal there. He says there must be a place to get reception because how else could people call to get back? He makes a very valid point because that is what the van driver told them. As he walks through the canyon/cave, he starts gasping, then the screen goes black and we next see him laying on the beach with his wife helping him sit up. She tells him he stumbled out and he was holding his head and looked like he was in pain. He says he felt a pressure in his head. </p><p>While Charles is talking to his mother, telling her he's going to get a van to come back for them, Prisca comes up to him and asks if he can take a look at her son because he's having "some kind or reaction." Charles dismisses her because he sees Trent playing with Kara off in the distance and they look fine to him. He can't really worry about the kids right now because he will have to give CPR to his mother who soon stops breathing, but it is too late and she dies. He thinks she died because she saw a murdered woman and was so shocked that her heart couldn't take it anymore. It won't be long before her dog will die as well. Nobody seems to really care about that; they're just like, "Oh, the dog has died." Of course, they do have bigger things to worry about at that point. </p><p>There's a moment where the Cappa siblings are talking to each other and the way the shot is set up, you only see parts of them, like Maddox's legs (she's standing up) and Trent's left arm and part of his back (he's sitting, facing her). You know by this time they are different actors (er, ages!) because their voices sound different. They're telling each other that they look different and Trent tells his sister he sees something shiny way up on top of the rock wall that is surrounding the beach. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgUPt8yM_F4LdeMQyhOfXSRnH-U7kaf4nX2645TASon5U5t7LT9N6hEGXfJCYvNsjd5__3sjn5Dlx0k9MhYi_KPQXOCIer2KLB-sxSNgu9PaDIYnVaS-kf0_PnNJc1LlhaJ3V4lhjdljPzdElH5ShAIvA2sy3LMhh5H4ss_cRQWnm6QYtBcOsuZN2fEiA8" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgUPt8yM_F4LdeMQyhOfXSRnH-U7kaf4nX2645TASon5U5t7LT9N6hEGXfJCYvNsjd5__3sjn5Dlx0k9MhYi_KPQXOCIer2KLB-sxSNgu9PaDIYnVaS-kf0_PnNJc1LlhaJ3V4lhjdljPzdElH5ShAIvA2sy3LMhh5H4ss_cRQWnm6QYtBcOsuZN2fEiA8=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div>In a scene soon after that one, we see the backs of Maddox and Trent as they are talking with Jarin and Patricia. Trent asks them their names and occupations and we learn that Patricia is a psychologist. They ask the kids their names and ages and before they can give their ages, Jarin wants to guess how old they are because he claims to be good at guessing ages. Hehe, he might not be so good in this case! You know who is terrible at guessing ages? Me! He guesses that Trent is ten or eleven and doesn't believe Trent when he informs him he's six, but Maddox confirms that he is six and that she is eleven. Patricia, in a low voice (although I'm sure the Cappa siblings can hear her judging by their proximity to them), says to her husband, "They're feeling unsafe. There is a lot going on here." Jarin thinks they're messing with them, but decides to let it slide. Not long after, Prisca comes up to the couple and asks them if they've seen her children. Now I realize she doesn't recognize Maddox and Trent who are standing right across from Patricia and Jarin, but wouldn't she be wondering who these two young people are? She doesn't even seem to acknowledge them. Naturally, Jarin and Patricia are confused because they know her kids are literally right in front of them and Jarin asks if everyone is playing a joke on them. Trent speaks up and says, "I'm right here, Mom." We see Prisca's shocked face as she takes in her six-year-old son who looks eleven and her eleven-year-old daughter who looks sixteen. Trent is wearing a towel around his waist and Maddox's swimsuit is too small for her and she will soon changed into an extra swimsuit that her mom brought (that was fortunate!) <p></p><p>While this is going on, Brendon decides to book it and runs through the canyon/cave, attempting to escape. Charles follows him and they both black out and end up on the beach. Charles mentions that it felt like he was deep underwater. They realize they can't get out through the canyon/cave, which, besides swimming or climbing the giant rock wall, is the only exit. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjHTErqUlxtJySli2d5s3fzggPHTLJ0IXvZCrzC9Oikfy8KYYnVMN8Aw0akNpGObMLkUVji5UmyTMJhUE2YBcp2ty6dmX-rNnje1WFUjw9scdAsYDQJXZMpBpll-QKBL2W6kbybfxmSPoawdxrsMQ5AOvRH2Rh0QX-TS94r3W1_GAP7qHRTBgWggIeUUQA" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="429" data-original-width="1024" height="134" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjHTErqUlxtJySli2d5s3fzggPHTLJ0IXvZCrzC9Oikfy8KYYnVMN8Aw0akNpGObMLkUVji5UmyTMJhUE2YBcp2ty6dmX-rNnje1WFUjw9scdAsYDQJXZMpBpll-QKBL2W6kbybfxmSPoawdxrsMQ5AOvRH2Rh0QX-TS94r3W1_GAP7qHRTBgWggIeUUQA=w320-h134" width="320" /></a></div>Prisca, who thinks the kids are having a reaction to something they ate or caught something since they're on a "remote, undeveloped island" (that's some reaction they're having!) tells her husband she wants the doctor to look at them. But before she can do that, Charles has gone up to Brendon and slashed him across the face with a pocket knife he had in his pocket. Everyone rushes over and Charles apologizes, telling the others that he thought Brendon was going to hurt him. His hand is covering the slash on his face and he tells the other he must be in shock because he doesn't feel any pain. When Jarin asks to sees the gash, he removes his hand and it is revealed that the gash has completely healed and it's just a scar. Something crazy is going on in this island! Brendon opens up and admits to the others that he did try to escape, but only because he was freaked out. We find out that he had just met the girl at the resort and they started talking about how they're both sick and she had just been diagnosed with MS. He had told he he had a "weird clotting with his blood." Patricia and Jarin catch on that he mentioned they were both sick and Patricia thinks "maybe this is some kind of group psychosis." She tells the others she's studied this and thinks that because they're all emotionally shaky, they don't believe they can leave this beach. <p></p><p>Kara has also aged and she's now about 12 or 13. Charles thinks it might be a virus or a reaction to the mosquitoes on the island or something that is happening to trigger their hormones. </p><p>While the ocean waves are crashing ferociously against the rocks, Jarin asks who thinks they can "swim a hundred lengths of a pool against the current and then turn and swim an unknown amount along the coast til they find another shore?" That's his guess of how far it would be to swim out and get around the cove. Uh, nobody, that's who. And nobody is keen to give it a go. Not that I can blame them. </p><p>Patricia has gathered everyone around for a discussion. She thinks they need to know each other so they can trust each other. She goes around, asking everyone why they came to the resort. Chrystal admits that she and Charles have been having a tough time and Charles is stressed because he's a doctor, so he needed time away. Charles isn't too happy she's saying all this, but she tells him she won't say anything else. When the subject comes around to Guy and Prisca, Prisca changes the subject, telling them they need to make a decision and that the kids are probably reacting to a virus. She also declares she doesn't feel good and Guy announces that she has a tumor, but the doctors said it was benign. Of course, this is the first time the kids are hearing about this. Jarin asks her where the tumor is and Prisca points to her abdomen. He feels her tumor and tells her it's the size of a golf ball. She says that can't be right, that it's only supposed to be three centimeters. And then she faints. Now Charles feels her tumor and tells them it's the size of a soft ball. Jarin wants to cut it out, but Guy says no, then says he doesn't know what to do. Finally he asks if there's any alcohol and Chrystal runs to get some. Patricia provides the needle and thread Charles has asked for (though they'll soon discover they won't need it!) Right before he cuts into Prisca, he randomly asks if anyone knows the name of the movie Jack Nicholson and Marlon Brando starred in together. This will come up again when he asks about it and we never find out what it was. I was thinking they were never in a movie together and that's why he couldn't come up with the name, but then I Googled it and they did indeed star in a movie together that came out in 1976 western called <i>The Missouri Breaks</i>. I have never heard of it and I feel like most people have never heard of it. Don't expect a review of it on here anytime soon! So then he cuts int Prisca's side. :::shudder::: Good thing she was passed out! He's using the same knife that he slashed Brendon's face with, so I'm hoping he was able to sterilize it really good! But, as soon as he slices her open, it closes. Jarin tells him to cut her again and they'll keep their hands in there to keep the incision open. Eww, they've been in the sand and saltwater and there's no place with soap and water to clean yourself; surely she would end up with an infection! So they do it again like Jarin instructed and now the camera is looking up at the faces of Jarin, Charles, and Guy. Guy says it's closing around his finger and Jarin tells him to keep pulling it apart with his fingers and we see him starting to lift the tumor out, but it's attached to muscle tissue. Charles exclaims it's the size of a cantaloupe! Ewww! And for extra grossness, the camera pans back down as they're taking out this disgusting bloody mass of a thing out of her. OMG, so gross! I wonder what they did with it? We never do see where they put it. Did they just toss it in the ocean? I would want that nasty thing far, far, far away from me! Prisca's incision closes and she wakes up (that was good timing!) She tells them she feels better and Guy tells her they removed her tumor. Hmm, so sounds like that tumor was NOT benign after all. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgyya6h2Acc8ReB9Qq6TmmqHOLXJcDDJQzbYrkjmgmJul-TNXVQYP18k4gvyawlU0fph3r3Hs9g-syrm5n568ugP3Vc1RITXzD9s3StBH9sOGwE0O2GA2IW0Dj6kZlWP2irU2cLe1SFmVgfLXLjmM2JJYim52mvHkaTN7ZdDc__Qd6fwXZwnwDvh52_HCo" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="730" data-original-width="1296" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgyya6h2Acc8ReB9Qq6TmmqHOLXJcDDJQzbYrkjmgmJul-TNXVQYP18k4gvyawlU0fph3r3Hs9g-syrm5n568ugP3Vc1RITXzD9s3StBH9sOGwE0O2GA2IW0Dj6kZlWP2irU2cLe1SFmVgfLXLjmM2JJYim52mvHkaTN7ZdDc__Qd6fwXZwnwDvh52_HCo=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div>For some reason, sometimes possesses Brendon to go over and lift up the towel that was covering the dead girl. I get that they need this for the plot, but it makes no sense why he would want to look under there. I sure as hell wouldn't want to look at a corpse rotting in the sun! But, like I said, it's done for plot purposes because he is startled by what he sees and calls the others over. This is when it is revealed that her body has completely decomposed and it's just bones. Prisca, who works in a museum, says it would take seven years for a body to decompose like that, but yet this happened in three hours. <p></p><div>Jarin thinks something wonky is going on with time on the beach and Prisca is able to do some quick math and by going by her children's ages and the time they spent on the beach, she figures that "half an hour is equivalent to something like one year of [their] lives." She has noticed that Guy has wrinkles and says the aging process must be true for everyone but they don't see it on everyone. At least now we know why they have so much food; it really was for the children who would be going through growth spurts, and, as Jarin points out, they are eating so much because "they need to grow an enormous amount of mass quickly." The adults are staying roughly the same mass, but their cells are aging. Prisca points out that their hair and nails should be "growing at an abnormal rate", but Jarin rationalizes that cells in hair and nails are dead. I get what he's saying and he's correct, but it doesn't make sense for a dead body to decompose that fast because dead body equals dead cells. Oh, well, I'm just going to go with it. </div><div><br /></div><div>Being that an hour equals two years of your life, it doesn't take long for them to figure out that they'll age almost fifty years in one day. (Boy, I'm sure glad they made the math easy for them and for us! Can you inagine if they aged 3 years every 47 minutes or something like that and you would have to figure that out?) They think their rapid aging might have something to do with the rocks around the beach. Sure, I'll go with it. This is a movie where you just have to go with what they're telling you or else it will make you insane trying to come up with a rational reason for what is going on.</div><div><br /></div><div>Jarin compares them trying to leave is "like swimming to the surface too fast after being too deep in the ocean." He states their bodies can't reacclimate and that's why they become unconscious when they try to leave. He suggests that they could walk slowly through canyon/cave by taking a step, then standing still and do it over eight to ten hours to let their bodies acclimate. Of course, according to Prisca's timeline, that would mean someone would have to give up twenty years of their life trying. No one volunteers. Although, wouldn't they all be aging twenty years in that time? In fact, the people on the beach would probably age even more because the person who escaped after reacclimatizing would need time to find a their way back to the resort or wherever to find help, then get the help to come back...and how would they even help them? I suppose they could help them by sending a boat or a helicopter. But they don't know if that will work. As far as they know, at this moment, there is absolutely no way way to escape. Wouldn't it make more sense for EVERYBODY to do this tedious process of slowly taking one step, then stopping over the course of ten hours to get through the wonky barriers of this supernatural beach. </div><div><br /></div><div>Since the time Prisca fainted, Trent and Kara were ushered away and they've been spending time in a tent fort that Kara created earlier that day (when she was six) and getting to know each other. They're teenagers now and discuss their feelings. Kara tells Trent that she doesn't feel the same and that her mind is changing too and she's getting many thoughts at the same time. In an earlier scene, a more mature Maddox had confessed to Brendon, "I don't feel the same way I felt yesterday or this morning, and I don't think my parents would understand. My thought have more colors in them now."</div><div><br /></div><div>So we know that both their bodies and minds are maturing. However, they really never touch on the subject of their knowledge. Do Trent and Kara know their multiplication tables or much about world history, being that they started the morning as six-year-olds? (When do kids learn their multiplication tables?) Even Maddox, beginning the day as an eleven-year-old would have have limited knowledge. </div><div><br /></div><div>I think this might be a good time to put up a spoiler warning. Even though some of the things I'm going to start talking about are shown in the trailer, I don't want to take that chance and ruin anything for anybody who hasn't seen this movie yet and doesn't know the outcome. Also, there are still quite a bit of people left on this beach and I don't want to spoil who, if anybody, makes it out or if they all die on this beach. </div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-size: x-large;">SPOILERS AHEAD! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! </span></div><div><br /></div><div>So it is noticed that Trent and Kara aren't with them and they start calling for them, then they see them walking towards them down the beach and the parents are relieved because they look to be fine. However, when Trent and Kara are getting closer to them, they notice that Kara is very pregnant and everyone is shocked, which I don't blame them. I guess Trent and Kara's teenage hormones were raging, but it is a little weird because they just met that day. Maybe they realized they didn't have much time and would be too old or dead soon and wanted to try it out. We never actually see them getting it on, we just see them laying next to each other in the tent talking about their feelings. I feel like they only have this in the movie because of the extra drama it adds, which it certainly does. They try to rationalize it by Trent telling his parents he has feelings for her and he wants to marry her, but they just met. I don't buy they have those kinds of feelings for each other. Although, they are going through this crazy trauma together. At first, I thought they were going to have this rapidly aging new life on the beach and was curious to see how they were going to do that. But what actually happens makes a lot more sense. </div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjrVIHIkOo_UA7iJJpt2aba_vEiVpx2IhAkUrgBEC0EPMBtBgehA2SPNZMRjth2RHtNfzlU6Xm4Y3gjjkUyQgVDErgGPa3GbJnvLsXVEuHHxJoKEn_2HtvEOZgfEC7oVOhfl4dfGiiwOBnFTv5lSJHCHaoajryjF0WKcVdQB7DMJ6k6hrzPjbswJBk2joE" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="271" data-original-width="634" height="86" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjrVIHIkOo_UA7iJJpt2aba_vEiVpx2IhAkUrgBEC0EPMBtBgehA2SPNZMRjth2RHtNfzlU6Xm4Y3gjjkUyQgVDErgGPa3GbJnvLsXVEuHHxJoKEn_2HtvEOZgfEC7oVOhfl4dfGiiwOBnFTv5lSJHCHaoajryjF0WKcVdQB7DMJ6k6hrzPjbswJBk2joE=w200-h86" width="200" /></a></div>Needless to say, we get the fastest pregnacy in human history. Think about it: if half an hour equals a year, then nine months is what? About twenty minutes? The baby starts to come and Charles, Jarin, and Patricia are helping her. Kara calls out for her mother, but the camera pans as Krystal, who can't take what's going on and is freaked out, runs off in the opposite direction. She goes into the cave, but ends up on the beach passed out and Maddox runs to help her. By this time, a baby is heard crying. We don't see the baby, but just see the awed reactions of Chrystal and the Cappa family. The camera starts to pan over to Kara, her dad, and Jarin and Patricia and suddenly the crying stops abruptly. Once the camera is on them, Patricia is holding the baby, wrapped in a towel and tells them they just put him down for a few seconds to clean him off, and "he closed his eyes." Chrystal comments that he died from a lack of attention and they all know that "things are moving too fast for a baby to survive." Needless to say, they didn't need to cast a baby for this! Like I mentioned before, thank goodness they made the math easy in this because I made my own equations of what their new time line would look like, and, indeed, time is way to fast for a baby to survive.<p></p><p>We already know that 30 minutes = 1 year. So with that information: </p><p>15 minutes = 6 months</p><p>7.5 minutes = 3 months</p><p>3 and a quarter minutes = 1.5 months</p><p>1.5 minutes = 3 weeks</p><p>45 seconds = 1 and a half weeks (9-10 days?)</p><p>22.5 seconds = 5 days</p><p>11 seconds = 2.5 days</p><p>6 seconds = barely a day </p><p>So by my counts, that baby would be aging a day every five, six seconds! That is insane! They wouldn't have time to keep up with its eating or sleeping habits, let alone making time to change it or hold it. And I thought babies aged super fast in Sims 3! (Of course that could be because I have it that way because I can't stand babies and/or toddlers in Sims 3! If you play that game, you know exactly what I'm talking about!) </p><p>So now everything is going to sh*t and it's going to get worse. Now, you're probably thinking some of these adults are about to die of old age in the next few hours and that those who started as kids on this beach are going to die tomorrow. And, yes, you would be right, we still have a lot of characters that need something to happen to them. People are going to die and not all of them will be lucky to just die of old age.</p><p>Jarin will attempt to swim to find a way out to get help, but his body will washed up on the shore; much like what happened with the girl Brendon was with. Not long after the death of her husband, Patricia will suffer a fatal seizure that lasts much longer than the one she had at the resort the day before. </p><p>Charles will stab Brendon to death and after the attack, Guy will take the knife from the shell-shocked doctor. </p><p>Trent and Kara will have a discussion about how they won't get a prom or graduation or do any of the things they were supposed to do as teens or young adults. Kara proclaims it isn't fair and she's 100% right - it isn't fair or right for anyone on this beach that their age progression has been sped up to the max. It's very sad and depressing. Hell, I think time goes by way too fast as it is now! I can't imagine aging forty-eight years in a day! Hell, I would be pissed if I were only there for half an hour and aged one year! Kara (probably in her twenties at this point...it's kind of hard to keep track of how long they've been there so far) is desperate to find a way out, so she climbs the rock wall. She's actually a pretty good climber and gets scarily far up. At first, Trent and the other Cappas tell her to come down. Trent wants to go with her and starts climbing, but Guy pulls him off and tells him it's too dangerous. Trent calls up to Kara to tell her to come down; that they should stay together, but she replies with what if they spend this whole time trying to get out and they still don't make it? We get a scare when Kara's foot slips, but she manages to hang onto a protruding rock. Guy starts to think she might have a change if she can make it to a ledge she's coming up on and rest. Well, she does make it to the ledge. And she does rest...unfortunately for a little too long. She must have gotten to the point where one blacks out because she falls to her death. I hope to God she was unconscious through the whole thing, cuz, yikes! </p><p>So all the deaths I just mentioned take place during the day. We still have some more deaths to go, but they won't happen until it's dark, so let's take a break from all the death and despair! By this time it is clear that Charles has a mental disorder and Guy points out to Prisca that at least one person from each group was sick or had a medial condition. He asks her how she first heard about this place and she tells him it was "a random sweepstakes" and it "came with a receipt at the pharmacy" and she "followed it up online and started getting emails." Guy claims that they know their medical conditions and that they were chosen. They also realize that they have their passports and a car was sent to pick them up at the airport and they could "make it look like [the Cappa family] never left [their] house."</p><p>It is revealed that Prisca was going to leave Guy for another man. Maddox confronts her mom about it and she says it's true, but when Maddox asks, she tells her daughter that her husband did not know about her affair. However, we will find out later that Guy did know because he saw texts he wasn't supposed to see. Ruh-roh. Apparently he knew the guy and the guy must be a bit of a wanker because he asks his wife, "Why that guy?" Prisca tells her daughter that she got scared when she found out about her tumor and she asks Maddox if she hates her. Maddox tells her she just needs time to which Prisca sadly replies, "We don't have that." Lots of time metaphors in this movie, interesting! Guy and Prisca do seem to reconcile as Prisca apologizes to him and tells him there's no place she wants to be, but with him. </p><p>As the sun start to set, Guy has started to lose his vision and Prisca has started to lose her hearing. Charles, however, has still lost his mind, as he has retrieved his pocket knife from Prisca's bag and starts stabbing Guy. He tells Guy that "the man with the tattoos" (he's talking about Brendon aka Mid-Sized Sedan) was "gonna steal things from my home." He doesn't want Guy to tell anybody what he did, so now he's attacking him. Prisca also gets stabbed when she tries to shield her husband, but then runs off to tell the kids to hide after Guy tells her to do so. None of their stab wounds are fatal as they heal because he's mostly stabbing them in the back (literally and figuratively!) and their arms because they're shielding themselves, but that still has to hurt like a you-know-what! </p><p>The rusted silverware that the kids (you know, when they were literal kids) found earlier that day comes back in play when Prisca grabs a rusty knife and stabs Charles and she tells him the rust acts like a poison when it gets into your bloodstream and he dies.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjYePYkaWaDJCWQBBSN8kiLP17_bOBHRYcvtVTyp6E0FcJw8ShdPL5A-ZJg8-Y_LFOlUryScQjE1fcEYsfMYefjgO3lH2Q5PISa7OeS7wRXLY5oNK5j2QW7VH5XsC-tVXmCoK7UzR1XXvtnG3Jbv7USvCKwik5vzxcSbjFybTkPT5UmQZDmBPjpRlhMOSM" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="483" data-original-width="696" height="139" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjYePYkaWaDJCWQBBSN8kiLP17_bOBHRYcvtVTyp6E0FcJw8ShdPL5A-ZJg8-Y_LFOlUryScQjE1fcEYsfMYefjgO3lH2Q5PISa7OeS7wRXLY5oNK5j2QW7VH5XsC-tVXmCoK7UzR1XXvtnG3Jbv7USvCKwik5vzxcSbjFybTkPT5UmQZDmBPjpRlhMOSM=w200-h139" width="200" /></a></div>Before their mother had told them to hide from the crazed man with a knife, Trent and Maddox had found a notebook in the sand. They quickly realize that whoever wrote in it was trying to figure out what was going on this godforsaken beach. They wrote, "Magnetism of this exact spot on the Earth with the rocks on this beach submerged beneath the ocean for millions of years deposited with special minerals are causing our cells to age at a rapid rate." I'm still curious to know where they are, geographically! I bet it's where the<i> Lost </i>island was located! Trent suggests that perhaps they "can make a metal tube that [they] can get in that stops the effect on [their] cells" and they can just walk through the canyon/cave and out of this place forever. Maddox points out where would they find a metal tube? I guess this scene kind of proves that their minds are gaining knowledge as they grow older because I don't think a six-year-old would think of what he just suggested. At this point, I would guess they are both in their thirties. The author of the notebook had also written down a list of all the names and addresses of the people who were on the beach with him. Trent notices<br /> a light in the distance on top of the cliff and he's pretty sure somebody is recording him. This is about the third mention of somebody seeing something off in the distance. <p></p><p>When their mother tells them to hide, they go into a cave. Chrystal is also there and she's not doing too well herself. The woman who used to be young, fit, and blonde and capturing herself on Instagram now wants no one to look at her. When we first met her, we learned she had a calcium deficiency and because she's not getting her calcium (and I'm sure the fact that she's aging rapidly also doesn't help), her bones are becoming deformed and she just kills herself by dropping a large rock on her. </p><p>So now, it's late at night and the four family members of the Cappa family are the only ones left alive. Guy and Prisca are senior citizens now, I would guess in their 80s, though their aging is very subtle. We come full circle from the very first scene when adult Maddox sings to her mother, the same song she sang in the car the day before when she was eleven. You remember? Her mother told her how she couldn't wait to hear her voice as an adult and now she gets to.</p><p>In a very sad scene, Guy asks Prisca if they were fighting about something. When she tells him they were, he replies, "Whatever it was, I'm not mad anymore." He also mentions he can't remember why they were trying to leave this beach. It's clear he is losing his memory and that he has no idea that just that morning he was a man in his early to mid-forties. Not long after, he suddenly collapses and you know he has died. Prisca soon dies not long after him. It's really sad, but at least they didn't die a horrible death like everyone else on the island. </p><p>Teen and young adult Trent and Maddox have been played by Alex Wolff and Thomasin McKenzie, but when they wake up the next morning, they are now probably in their early/mid fifties (I'm guessing they literally slept through their forties and maybe even their late thirties) and are now played by Emun Elliot and Embeth Davidtz. I have to say the casting for this movie was done pretty well. I believed all the actors playing the Cappa siblings could be the same person. I'm guessing Alex and Thomasin were cast first since they are in the majority of the film, then they cast their younger and older versions. </p><p>It is now the next morning and they guess they have about thirteen hours left. They are still determined to find a way out, but before they do that, Trent suggests they make a sandcastle first. As they do, Maddox says, "I wonder if everybody continues to feel like a kid when they're our age, or is it because we were kids yesterday?" Ha! I imagine it's a little bit of both. Those two really didn't have much time to adjust from being a child to being an adult! </p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEitliFFOEwoDIgVv8e1lTuK2pJLqHoROKZY0Lp0tjyRnCuqGN0Li5gA4MPbD_i-zCofGRTxtmaJQ0Xvg642SqyP7ASooBhsZwa8GyVQSyrnJl-TQl8h7EVqsdxkMxkvojKedRVQdc9_WkL_F-n9m07NumAmgxofS1dUJL2A1EflPug0JInbJm5YLDY_Jis" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="467" data-original-width="1024" height="91" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEitliFFOEwoDIgVv8e1lTuK2pJLqHoROKZY0Lp0tjyRnCuqGN0Li5gA4MPbD_i-zCofGRTxtmaJQ0Xvg642SqyP7ASooBhsZwa8GyVQSyrnJl-TQl8h7EVqsdxkMxkvojKedRVQdc9_WkL_F-n9m07NumAmgxofS1dUJL2A1EflPug0JInbJm5YLDY_Jis=w200-h91" width="200" /></a></div>Them building a sandcastle is just a plot device for Trent to find the secret message from Idlib that he never decoded. Maddox tells him to decode it, so he does. It says, "My uncle doesn't like the coral." He thinks the coral might protect them from the effects of the rocks. Can you image if he had decoded this as a six-year-old in the van on their way to this place? He would have been so confused! Although, I'm guessing as they aged, he would probably figure out that was a huge clue. <p></p><p>So they decide to give it a try and they both swim underwater through a coral tunnel. It's not an easy swim and they will have to hold their breath for a few minutes. It gets even scarier when Maddox gets her shirt caught on the coral. Trent swims back to help her and now they're both struggling to get her free which has to exert more energy which can't be good. Now you're probably asking, a) why is Maddox wearing a shirt in there first place and the answer to that is probably for the purpose of the plot and b) why didn't Maddox or Trent just try to take the shirt off of her (it was a button up shirt that she was wearing like a jacket) and they do show then trying to do that, but for some reason it won't work. I'm not really sure. But again, it's done for plot purposes to show that they're struggling to free her. </p><p>They are still struggling underwater when it is finally revealed who has been on top of the cliff with a telescope, camera and other electron equipment. It is the van driver aka M. Night Shymalan and it looks like he just isn't the van driver for the resort! He is looking through the telescope in the direction of the coral and he calls someone to confirm that both the remaining people have died. He has watched for at least a minute and a half and hasn't seen any movement. He tells the man he thought they were going to get through the coral and doesn't know how they even thought of going through there. Apparently, only one other person had tried to escape through the coral, but he drowned.</p><p>We follow him to a secure place at the resort that looks like a lab with computers and many people in lab coats conducting experiments and monitoring sicknesses and diseases like diabetes and tuberculosis (those were two I caught on a screen). We hear someone say that all the "home computer devices have been wiped", clearly talking about those who recently perished on the beach. The resort manager (the one who is the uncle of Idlib) leads them in a moment of silence for the members of Trial 73.</p><p>You have probably figured out by now that all the people who were on that beach just the day before and have all died were the members of Trial 73. Throughout the movie it's been hinted at that the medical conditions of these people have something to do with why they're at this beach so it comes to no surprise when we learn that these are researchers from a pharmaceutical company called Warren & Warren that uses this beach to conduct their research. As the manager tells them, "Because of this beach, we have been able to save hundreds of thousands of lives with new medicines." We learn that they found this beach that they were meant to find on a research expedition and that they "were meant to test medicines in one day instead of a lifetime." The specialty-made cocktails that each person receives when they arrive at the resort are laced with a drug that they have created for each individual's medical condition. We find out that the medicine they gave Patricia worked very well as she didn't have a seizure for eight hours and sixteen minutes which is the equivalent of sixteen and a half years. He tells them they'll "fast-track trials, make that medicine, and share it with the whole world." Everyone claps, congratulating themselves, never mind the fact that they just pretty much murdered a bunch of innocent people, not to mention they robbed three children the experience of growing up. </p><p>My God, this has to be the most unethical thing ever! Sure, I'll admit, it's an amazing thing they can do and it's a wonder to science and medicine and I know they think what they're doing is for the greater good: they're killing off a few people to save millions more (huh, I just realized this reminds me of <i>Knock at the Cabin)</i>, but they fact that they're tricking people into it and their families (which sometimes include small children!) become collateral damage as well. I don't know, but I really feel that there would people with medical conditions and diseases and sicknesses that might, oh, I don't know, <i>consent</i> to being studied on this island and aging rapidly. Maybe they are in a bad place and want to do something good before they die. Maybe they know they're going to die soon and want to help people in the future with their disease. I really don't think they need to trick, then pretty much murder innocent people. Also, I would love to know the backstory of how they found this island. </p><p>Not surprisingly, we learn that Charles had schizophrenia when one doctor tells the resort manager that he thinks they need to "separate the purely medical subjects from the mental illness subjects" because their "violent schizophrenic patient cost us data on our blood clot patient." </p><p>In a turn of events that surprises no one (except maybe M. Night's character), Trent and Maddox are still alive! They have made it out of the coral! We go back to the struggling underwater and with determination, they manage to free Maddox and they swim to their safety. They now know they are not surrounded by the forces of the island anymore because there are fish swimming around them. </p><p>Remember when six-year-old Trent and his pal Idlib were going around the beach two days ago (which I'm sure seems like a lifetime to Trent, probably because it literally was!) asking people their names and occupations? Well, one of those people he asked this question to was a cop named Greg Mitchell. We see the cop sitting in a lounge chair and we hear Trent's voice say, "You're a police officer" and he hands the cop the notebook with all the name and addresses of the missing people. </p><p>Just as a van of new and unsuspecting people has arrived and they are about to be given their laced cocktails, Trent bumps into the woman (who is played by Clint Eastwood's daughter) carrying the tray, shattering the glasses. He tells the guests, "I wouldn't take anything they give you." </p><p>By this time, all the resort workers know they are f***ed. They know now that Trent and Maddox made it out alive. Trent sees Idlib and shows him the decoded message. I do have to wonder how Idlib knew that his uncle didn't like the coral. Did he overhear his uncle cursing the coral one day? Also, while I don't think Idlib knew what was happening on that island, he had to know that nobody that went there ever came back, so why didn't he just warn Trent and Maddox not to go there in the first place? Why didn't he just say "If my uncle invites your family to a private beach, don't go. No matter how great he makes it sound, trust me, you don't want to go." Yeah, yeah, I know, then there wouldn't be a movie, but he had plenty of time to tell them. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgs9gGbtTV_o76l82P68pbaY1q3mXzxiyaeC5iJ1idT-WTKTO_Y0MGgxqndSODWgZQn3fiDif1w2X8yjP7o1hnOdp9BP3GvYPktuuI5jpCzr7zTYnYMNI2Tvca_ejNql5XiGaYazRIaypC3gZyNNUTzEkxjRW2H04ArRGpu5ixYMkq0cQ6g4QeWLjUXj4k" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="280" data-original-width="670" height="84" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgs9gGbtTV_o76l82P68pbaY1q3mXzxiyaeC5iJ1idT-WTKTO_Y0MGgxqndSODWgZQn3fiDif1w2X8yjP7o1hnOdp9BP3GvYPktuuI5jpCzr7zTYnYMNI2Tvca_ejNql5XiGaYazRIaypC3gZyNNUTzEkxjRW2H04ArRGpu5ixYMkq0cQ6g4QeWLjUXj4k=w200-h84" width="200" /></a></div>Greg Mitchell confirms the first three names in the notebook are missing persons and he sends the rest of the names. He tells Trent and Maddox that everyone has been arrested and subpoenas are being served at Warren and Warren's headquarters this week. (They don't mess around!) The cop and the Cappa siblings are flying in a helicopter, on their way to the airport where Trent and Maddox's aunt will be waiting for them. When Greg asks them how she's handling things, Trent replies, "How would you feel if a fifty-year-old man called and told you he was your six-year-old nephew?" I just realized that he and his sister are probably older than their aunt, or at least pretty close in age. <p></p><p>For two people who have lost four decades of their life in the course of a day, Trent and Maddox are pretty chill about the whole thing. They were literally six and eleven years old twenty-four hours ago. They lost their parents in a very unfair way. They never really got to know their parents if you really think about it. They lost the experience of finishing their childhoods, being teens and going to high school, being young adults, and all that stuff you go through before you reach fifty. I would be a little more inconsolable if I were them! </p>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-26889799279787057822023-09-23T15:57:00.001-05:002023-09-23T16:00:48.685-05:00On the Run<div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">The Fugitive</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Director: Andrew Davis</div><div style="text-align: left;">Cast: Harrison Ford, Tommy Lee Jones, Joe Pantoliano, Sela Ward, Julianne Moore</div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: August 6, 1993</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Oscar nominations:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Best Picture (lost to<i> Schindler's List</i>) </div><div style="text-align: left;">Best Supporting Actor - Tommy Lee Jones (won)</div><div style="text-align: left;">Best Cinematography (lost to <i>Schindler's List</i>) </div><div style="text-align: left;">Best Sound Effects Editing (lost to <i>Jurassic Park</i>) </div><div style="text-align: left;">Best Film Editing (lost to <i>Schindler's List</i>) </div><div style="text-align: left;">Best Original Score - James Newton Howard (lost to John Williams for <i>Schindler's List</i>) </div><div style="text-align: left;">(I guess this is what happens when two of Spielberg's movies come out in the same year!)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi-_-m9b_3_26ofzrVeBa9BbPiY9L-ybANTXyfQdhrhZNwT7FqjuNz2VLxiUu_yfGjU0LjSdfFZYQEcIjBLf_FzRY-qJ3UDxLIqgWGi6L8_ycdMF-cxcHOb_S4dwo-q8OuhfjhtYxk7rEyx1YAeG1iZCuAMJDwtTwLVYwty05n9REjEflbbus_vc1zjq4k" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="336" data-original-width="624" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi-_-m9b_3_26ofzrVeBa9BbPiY9L-ybANTXyfQdhrhZNwT7FqjuNz2VLxiUu_yfGjU0LjSdfFZYQEcIjBLf_FzRY-qJ3UDxLIqgWGi6L8_ycdMF-cxcHOb_S4dwo-q8OuhfjhtYxk7rEyx1YAeG1iZCuAMJDwtTwLVYwty05n9REjEflbbus_vc1zjq4k=w400-h215" width="400" /></a></div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">This is a movie where I've seen many bits and pieces in my youth, but I honestly don't think I ever watched the entire thing from start to finish until just recently. I was very familiar with this movie because my it was one of my brother's favorite movies and he had the VHS and whenever he watched it, I sometimes watched parts of it too. There are only two scenes I remember really well: the speech that Tommy Lee Jones gives (you know the one I'm talking about) and when Harrison Ford jumps from the waterfall because that was just insane. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I also vaguely remembered that this is based on a TV show from the '60s with the same name, but I wasn't familiar with it. I've never seen it and never plan to, so I have no idea how similar it is to the movie. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgZN4NdKcFQMtwb8c_O5eE0eOi8Y-q_nPwPu2hCo_MrE4iakB1Q6Mt9NHTaDo11Nfs_tuwpP4-MDMbkgcpyiMr8kVcmqKrRrVbAvmIBDPBxp9TiJEMEWEvArtqBbLpdk-aEvjdjxbwNUUYcn_VJXQln6587ob0nbMgh3fq4DkWVeffibJBI73badYTX_EE" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="675" data-original-width="1200" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgZN4NdKcFQMtwb8c_O5eE0eOi8Y-q_nPwPu2hCo_MrE4iakB1Q6Mt9NHTaDo11Nfs_tuwpP4-MDMbkgcpyiMr8kVcmqKrRrVbAvmIBDPBxp9TiJEMEWEvArtqBbLpdk-aEvjdjxbwNUUYcn_VJXQln6587ob0nbMgh3fq4DkWVeffibJBI73badYTX_EE=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div>The movie moves pretty fast at the beginning because it wants to get to the, you know, fugitive part, but first we need to set up how Harrison Ford becomes The Fugitive. He plays Dr. Richard Kimble, a vascular surgeon at Chicago Memorial Hospital. He's being aggressively interrogated at the police station because his wife has just been murdered. The movie intercuts with him being interrogated to flashbacks of earlier that evening where he and his wife, Helen (Sela Ward) are attending a black-tie fund raiser at the Four Seasons to raise money for the Children's Research Fund. We see a fellow doctor friend come up to Richard and thank him for loaning him his car. When I watched this the first time (the second time is when I took notes), I totally paid this line no attention; heck, I barely paid that guy any attention. Later, when he and his wife are driving back home, Kimble gets a call asking if he can come in to help with an emergency at the hospital. "I'll wait up for you" is the last thing his wife tells him. </div><p>Back at the police station, Kimble tells them it was a one-armed man who killed his wife and he got into a fight with him. It seems like the police are adamant that Richard killed his wife, which I get, it usually it is the husband. At first, I thought the police don't even investigate this claim of a one-armed man, which I thought was odd because that is a pretty specific description and surely they can check records to see how many males have one arm in the Chicago area. Well, it turns out they do because later we'll find out the man who did kill her (spoiler alert: Harrison Ford is indeed innocent) claims the police have already talked to him and he had an alibi. </p><p>The Chicago PD thinks Kimble killed his wife because she comes from a wealthy family and when they ask him if she's insured, he tells them she was and that he was the sole beneficiary. Sure, that doesn't look good, but it's not like this DOCTOR was hard up for money. Unfortunately, that's not the only thing that looks bad for Dr. Kimble. We next jump to the trial where we learn there was no forced entry and nothing was missing. The most damning evidence of all may be Helen's 911 call which they play for the jury. Even though her head has just been bashed in and there's blood coming out of her mouth, she is able to reach for the phone and call 911. Yeah, she's gasping for breath and whispering but she does get a lot of information out. She tells the dispatcher, "He's still here in the house" and "He's trying to kill me" (which she says twice). When the dispatcher asks her if her attacked is still in the house (I guess she didn't hear Helen tell her that), Richard, who heard something, starts walking up the stairs. Helen must have known it was him and starts saying "Richard, Richard", calling for his help. Then the next thing she says is, "He's trying to kill me." Yeah, that doesn't sound good. Then she dies. It's kind of messed up that her last actions would end up sending her innocent husband to prison. Not just prison, but a death sentence. </p><p>Now that I think of it, while I know there is some questionable evidence against him, it is crazy that he was found guilty. Surely they processed the crime scene and found unknown DNA on both Richard and Helen. Unless this was before the time when DNA wasn't as prevalent. I feel like now they wouldn't have enough to convict him. </p><p>The next scene is Richard being transferred to death row in an armored truck with three other inmates, the drive, and two prison guards. Now, by this time, we're probably ten minutes into the movie, but as for real time, I have no clue. It feels like all this has happened in the last twenty-four hours, but obviously that can't be possible. Oh, well, I guess it's not that important. </p><p>All the prisoners are wearing yellow jumpsuits and their hands and feet are shackled. On the way there, one of the prisoners pretends to need medical attention by foaming at the mouth (yuck!) and when the younger guard goes on to check on him, the inmate has a siv and stabs him in the chest. This causes a chain reaction and the old guard gets his shotgun and shoots the inmate. Everything goes to chaos and the driver drives the bus off the road and it rolls several times down a ravine. There's no way anyone should be alive after this, or at the very least, there's no way anyone should be able to walk away from this horrific crash unscathed, but three people do end up walking away unscathed! </p><p>The driver and two of the inmates are dead, but the two prison guards, Kimble, and another inmate are still alive. The guard who was stabbed is unconscious and needs medical help, not to mention help to get him off the bus. The older guard asks Kimble to give the hurt guard medical attention since he knows he's a doctor and Kimble requests to be unlocked. The guard throws the keys at him and he frees his hands. Now I was a little confused by the next scene. I couldn't tell if he accidentally dropped the keys or if it was purposeful because they drop right in front of Copeland, the other inmate who survived, who is able to take the keys and free himself. I fee like this had to be an accident because surely he would unlock the chain around his ankles and why would he let a convict go free. I'm not sure what Copeland was in for, but I'm guessing whatever it was, it can't be good. But whether it was an accident or purposeful that he got those keys, it's a good thing he did because they hear a train in the distance. It just so happened that their bus landed upside down right on a train track. (That's unlucky!) Even though I don't think Kimble would have wanted Copeland to escape, I also don't think he would want him to be killed by a train. </p><p>They all hear the fast approaching train and Kimble firsts ask the older guard to help with with the wounded guard, but he saves his own ass and gets out. Next he asks Copeland to help him, but he (not surprisingly) also escapes. Kimble grabs the unconscious guard and just tosses him out of the bus where we see him flop down a hill. Kimble jumps from the bus literally seconds before the train hits it. After hitting the bus, one of the train cars becomes detached from the rail and starts following Kimble, who, mind you, still has his ankle shackles on, so he's trying to outrun this runaway train while he can barely run. This seems a little....unbelievable. Also, is this a nod to Indiana Jones when he's running away from the huge boulder? Kimble does manage to jump out of the way.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgKuXiIUfbm-evxgEFh3R2m7T7EE_8CFljZQWmPIGzPV-MjA9Rdp9x257M-MphUoCzCnDkDwjdcqdTvTphplD_l191pTx84k1iYysJZLrL5dS23RCtdQGoBELR0cX81QzlWwUj2q7jAygOYggT6ODkgtCveLGGxBuNhdykmL3NIdoytytek_WeaFZ03SfM" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgKuXiIUfbm-evxgEFh3R2m7T7EE_8CFljZQWmPIGzPV-MjA9Rdp9x257M-MphUoCzCnDkDwjdcqdTvTphplD_l191pTx84k1iYysJZLrL5dS23RCtdQGoBELR0cX81QzlWwUj2q7jAygOYggT6ODkgtCveLGGxBuNhdykmL3NIdoytytek_WeaFZ03SfM=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div>Not long after, U.S. Marshall Samuel Gerard (Tommy Lee Jones) and his team (which includes Joe Pantoliano; I had no idea he was in this) are called to the site of the crash. Gerard's first words are, "My, my, my, my my. What a mess." The old guard is still there, giving him his statement to the local sheriff. He claims he was the one who saved the young guard (who they will find later and take to the hospital). He tells the sheriff that all the prisoners are dead. I'm not sure why he doesn't admit that Kimble and Copeland are still alive, I guess because it doesn't look good if he admitted he gave one of them the keys, then saw the other one also unlock himself. <p></p><p>Gerard tells the sheriff he wants to set up checkpoints, but the sheriff doesn't see the need since all the prisoners are dead. Gerard tells him he's taking over the investigation. One of his colleagues finds a leg iron and Gerard questions how a dead man could get out of those and that's when the guard admits he gave the keys to Kimble and that he's still alive. Poole, who is part of Gerard's team, asks the guard if he would care to revises his statement and when he replies with, "What?", Gerard clarifies by asking him, "Do you want to change your bulls*t story?" Heh. This is also the moment when we get the iconic speech from Tommy Lee Jones that everyone knows and is probably one of the first things you think of when this movie comes up: </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/JxWP2D538PY" width="320" youtube-src-id="JxWP2D538PY"></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p></p><p>The next morning, Kimble is hiding under some bridge and he sees a mechanic by his work truck take off his work jumpsuit. When he walks away, Kimble is able to grab it from the truck (lucky for him that guy left his windows rolled down!) and puts it on. Yeah, he probably doesn't want to be walking around with his prison jumpsuit on. That might give him away! </p><p>Right before the U.S. Marshalls have found the injured young guard and take him to the hospital, we get another iconic Gerard moment where he asks Noah, another member of his team, what he's doing. Noah says he's thinking and Gerard tells him, "Well, think me up a cup of coffee and a chocolate doughnut with sprinkles on top." I don't remember if he ever gets them.</p><p>Throughout the film, Kimble sneaks into many places without being detected. And it's not like many of these places are deserted; there's plenty of people swarming around. Sometimes it seems a little farfetched that nobody ever notices him. In this instance, he sneaks into the treatment room of a hospital and stitches himself up. (He had a pretty bad gash on his lower stomach). He then sneaks into the room of an elderly male patient (who is asleep) where he goes into the bathroom to trim and shave his beard. That's something I forgot to mention; he has a beard. I guess it makes sense that he starts the movie with a beard because he will need to change his appearance and shaving off his beard seems like a good way to do that. While he's shaving, he hears a nurse come into the room and comments that the old man must be thirsty since his water bottle is empty. Kimble quickly opens the bathroom door and hides behind it (luckily it opened into the bathroom and not into the room) as the nurse walks in and fills the water bottle. She's chatting to the sleeping patient the entire time. Not once does she look up in the mirror. If she had, she would have for sure seen Richard and gotten quite the surprise! </p><p>After she leaves, Kimble has finished shaving and changed into some new clothes (presumably belonging to the patient). He scarfs down the breakfast left for the old man (poor guy didn't get his breakfast!) and walks out with a cup of coffee. He's also wearing a doctor's coat with a stethoscope around his neck, so he must have found those just laying around. As he's walking towards the exit, he runs into a police officer who stops him and ask him if he's seen the escaped prison from the bus crash. Instead of just hurrying past him, with his head down, and telling him he's busy, Kimble looks at the officer and asks him to describe this escaped prisoner for him which the cop does. Kimble states that he only sees that when he's looking in the mirror, "except for the beard, of course" because the cop has literally just described him. I don't know if this is good strategy to admit you look just like the escaped prisoner, although I guess you can't hide the fact that you DON'T look like him. Also, I'm shocked that the cop didn't two and two together and realize that an escaped convict with a beard would probably shave off said beard. Duh. </p><p>But Kimble, disguised as a doctor, is able to easily walk away without getting detected. Outside, the ambulance is just bringing in the wounded guard and he goes over to check on him. The guard is awake and recognizes Kimble and starts to say something, but Kimble immediately covers his mouth with an oxygen mask. Since he knows his injury, he tells the EMTs to make sure the doctors know he has a puncture in the upper gastric area. The EMTs are confused how he would even know that since the guard is covered with a blanket. Well, gee, he probably knows because he's the escaped convict who also happens to be a doctor. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjSP6LF91qLMRm30SEH36g7cb6ROd_VlOuNevAuM1IJAEcvTuUrtvKMEKtKmdbbrTQK52aAaxhyFwVHpcD-t8l9r0WLLPah9x2O29RhCDMGsAySdJRtxxha3TBydqtOd2OWYQQ-09wHFnGLCYl9InPb7mFgQULIy6woYAtHxXWnsrETnlq51EmKzPY8QZ0" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="343" data-original-width="540" height="203" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjSP6LF91qLMRm30SEH36g7cb6ROd_VlOuNevAuM1IJAEcvTuUrtvKMEKtKmdbbrTQK52aAaxhyFwVHpcD-t8l9r0WLLPah9x2O29RhCDMGsAySdJRtxxha3TBydqtOd2OWYQQ-09wHFnGLCYl9InPb7mFgQULIy6woYAtHxXWnsrETnlq51EmKzPY8QZ0" width="320" /></a></div>The guard is able to report that he saw Kimble and this gets back to the U.S. Marshalls team, who are getting the phones of anybody Kimble might call, starting with his lawyer first, tapped. There's also a report that an ambulance is missing. After the ambulance is spotted, Gerard rides in a helicopter, directing the police cars where to go. They spot him heading towards an aqueduct and when he goes through a tunnel, the helicopter lands at the other end, along with two cop cars, blocking Kimble's exit. He also can't backtrack since there are more cop car coming from that side. In the end, he finds a grate and climbs down there where he finds himself in a tunnel system. Gerard and the others follow him and at one point, Gerard slips and drops his gun which Kimble picks up and points at him, telling him, "I didn't kill my wife!" to which Gerard replies, "I don't care!" Kimble runs off, but he took the wrong turn because he's now overlooking a dam which is at least 1000 feet tall. Now that Gerard has him cornered, he tells Kimble to drop his gun, which he does. He then tells Kimble to put his arms behind his head and turn around, which he also does. But Kimble isn't going to give himself up! He then proceeds to jump off into the waterfall with a very scared look on his face. He should look scared because it's a long-ass fall down to the bottom and there's no way anybody could survive that, let alone walk away from it unhurt, but of course that is exactly what he will do! <p></p><p>Well, at least the U.S. Marshalls (except for Gerard) agree with me that nobody could survive that. Gerard wants to start a search team and when the others tell him that Kimble is dead, he replies, "That ought to make him easy to catch." </p><p>This is when we see Kimble stumbling out of the water (even if that fall didn't kill him, he should at least have several broken bones). He sleeps outside under a pile of leaves and he has a nightmare about his wife's murder and this time we see the face of the one-armed man who killed his wife, so I guess that's telling us that he remembers more details about him. (Though I think having one arm would be a pretty big detail!) </p><p>The next morning we see him walking along the train tracks and he ends up in a truck station of somewhere where he dyes his hair a darker shade. Where did he even get that dye? Was it already just there? Did I miss it when he went to Wad-Mart and got some essentials? He hitches a ride from a woman who picks him up. Great way to get murdered, lady, just picking up random hitchhikers. Luckily she picked up an escaped convict who has morals. </p><p>We get a fakeout when the U.S. Marshalls have gotten a lead that their escaped convict is with some woman in some shack in the woods. Well, it turns out they're talking about Copeland. You remember him? He's the other escaped convict. His girlfriend is harboring him. They sneak in, but Copeland has grabbed Noah and points a gun to his head. He wants to bargain with Gerard, but, as we'll soon learn, Gerard does not bargain. He ends up shooting Copeland. Well, at least they don't have to worry about him anymore. Noah isn't thrilled with Gerard's decision, saying that if Gerard had missed, he would have killed him. </p><p>So where did Kimble end up, you ask? He's in Chicago where he calls his lawyer who tells him he needs to turn himself in. Kimble asks him for money and his lawyer replies, "You're asking me to harbor and aid a convicted felon. I can't help you that way." When he asks Kimble where he is, Richard lies and tells him he's in St Louis. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhWnOOShYI4hDpItqizD2DlcsPiubLvRjpI8rUb0331-z0Dxdza0_twnTjgxOOd_Y0wjGI24xOuOcayNzkzt7gDvmzhqREDwrbZRKiVKsoIhee_ale1bX1TSp8pNhzlkhtJPfQyo5H1W1VIplgevgyVoVYi3ffY9i0xHdBdp4hpTmIt7SOmffQPkaguByo" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1880" data-original-width="3360" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhWnOOShYI4hDpItqizD2DlcsPiubLvRjpI8rUb0331-z0Dxdza0_twnTjgxOOd_Y0wjGI24xOuOcayNzkzt7gDvmzhqREDwrbZRKiVKsoIhee_ale1bX1TSp8pNhzlkhtJPfQyo5H1W1VIplgevgyVoVYi3ffY9i0xHdBdp4hpTmIt7SOmffQPkaguByo=w200-h112" width="200" /></a></div>Since the lawyer's phone has bee tapped, Gerard and his team are able to listen to it. Gerard looks like Mr. Rogers on Casual Friday. He's wearing jeans with a blue button up shirt, red sweater vest, and tie. They listen to the recorded call, trying to determine where Kimble is. They don't think he's in St. Louis because they hear a train that sounds like an el, but there are no elevated trains there. They try to come up with cities that have els which include New York, Philly, Milwaukee, and Chicago. I feel like it's so obvious he's in Chicago; that's the city he was the closest to and it's not like he could make it all the way to the East Coast. I supposed he could have gone to Milwaukee, but Chicago seems the most obvious to me. Once they realize they can hear a guy on the P.A. saying, "Next stop, Merchandise Mart", they know for certain he's in Chicago. <p></p><p>We see his doctor friend who we saw earlier in the movie (the one at the fundraiser who thanked Kimble for loaning him his car) come out of his tennis club and get in his car. His name is Dr. Charles Nichols. When he stops at a red light, a bunch of homeless guys start cleaning his car and asking for money. Kimble, who must have known that Nichols would be going past there, comes up and knocks on his passenger window. Nichols is surprised to see him, but tells him to get in, but Kimble refuses and asks him for some money which Nichols hands over without any qualms. He asks Kimble if he has a place to stay or if there's anything he can to help. At that moment, a police siren sounds and an officer tells Nichols he have a green light and to move on. (Would they really turn on a siren for that?) Kimble tells him he'll call him and strolls off. We next see him renting a spare room in a small house of a Polish woman who lives with her adult son.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgvFZaBbInL_UuGNduA87CjaLcPtOW57BlPj_PchkaemBEcHZaLtyl1Awa_HjOFuz9aHv_rsW9upz570vcsFiKxRZWIdZk7j6gz5SHwPeqc021eEkDxVw_8q8cLwjfoGd0A-95jGMWK4oD5T8CrgBgHyYCziFdGbbTw7Kr2o-YUnMgvGIMT4qFFb5fU2Ps" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="675" data-original-width="1200" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgvFZaBbInL_UuGNduA87CjaLcPtOW57BlPj_PchkaemBEcHZaLtyl1Awa_HjOFuz9aHv_rsW9upz570vcsFiKxRZWIdZk7j6gz5SHwPeqc021eEkDxVw_8q8cLwjfoGd0A-95jGMWK4oD5T8CrgBgHyYCziFdGbbTw7Kr2o-YUnMgvGIMT4qFFb5fU2Ps=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div>Kimble has come back to Chicago because he has unfinished business! He sneaks into Cook Country Hospital and when I say sneak, I mean he just walk right in without anyone giving him a second glance. He does hold up a towel to his forehead, feigning an injury (and probably trying to hide part of his face). However, he no longer bothers hiding his face when he takes the elevator to the floor where the prosthetics lab is. He just walks right in, seeing people getting fitted for limbs. He then sneaks into a storage area after a janitor comes out and he quickly goes in when the door is still open. It's just amazing that's he able to sneak anywhere without anyone noticing him and it's not like there's nobody around! In a locker room, he sees a janitor hanging up his uniform and when he's in the shower, Kimble sneak in and takes his uniform and ID badge. <p></p><p>Gerard and Cosmo (that's the guy played by Pantoliano) start interviewing Kimble's friends and colleagues, starting with Nichols and we learn they went to medical school together. They are shocked when they ask him when was the last time he saw Kimble and he admits he saw him that morning and gave him money. He even confesses he offered to help him, but Kimble wouldn't accept it. Nichols doesn't want to help them catch him because he doesn't want his friend to go back to prison and claims, "Richard is innocent" and that they'll never find him because he's smart.</p><p>They continue their interviews and pretty much everyone vouches for Kimble, saying he's a good guy and a good doctor and none of the believe he is guilty of killing his wife. One of these doctors who vouches for Kimble is played by a young Jane Lynch.</p><p>In his rented room, Kimble is looking at documents and books about mechanical arms and trying to determine what kind the killer had...I guess. I'm not sure how he would even remember exactly what the mechanical arm looked like, but whatever. And I guess he got these when he pretended to be a janitor? The next day he is awakened by the sound of sirens and he thinks they have found out where he is, but it turns out they're busting the adult son for being a drug dealer. That guy will later tell the cops that Kimble has been staying at his house, but by that time Kimble will already be long gone. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhAxLdZS8biuLQwrv21KvIYlP_mLrJ8rUK_g214mV5ZHRZJHAY1-H_nda9NGstobf09vVPR2gEkN9iDoz46AYvzRisxa6kYep2OkHAUQU-taLfIHFu-yvzVvpYR1_EAbamT3eoy4LwX5392XThnDErbiQP_fP8YjMuS-dO3xyjEbRLHPixQsvLclQgy0rI" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1920" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhAxLdZS8biuLQwrv21KvIYlP_mLrJ8rUK_g214mV5ZHRZJHAY1-H_nda9NGstobf09vVPR2gEkN9iDoz46AYvzRisxa6kYep2OkHAUQU-taLfIHFu-yvzVvpYR1_EAbamT3eoy4LwX5392XThnDErbiQP_fP8YjMuS-dO3xyjEbRLHPixQsvLclQgy0rI=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div>As a janitor, Kimble goes into the workshop of a woman working on a prosthetic limb under the pretense that needs to clean the blinds in her office where her computer is located. He half-heartedly cleans the blinds (which he makes sure to shut), but also looks up information on the computer. There's a prosthetic arm database where he can type in information and every time he types in something new, the number of matches narrows until he has only five people who fit the description of what he's trying to find. For some reason, he seems to know when the one-armed murderer last got his mechanical arm adjusted. How the hell would he know that? Even though the woman is wearing headphones, I am surprised she doesn't hear the clickity-clack of the keyboard in her office. The computer Kimble is using is so archaic, it's hilarious. And I thought those candy-colored Mac computers they used on <i>Felicity</i> were old! He prints out the list of five people and puts it in his pocket.<p></p><p>There's been a bus crash and many children are in the hospital as a result of it. Kimble sees a kid on a gurney and he can tell there's something wrong with the kid, but the doctor looking at him thinks he's okay. A female doctor sees Kimble by the kid and, thinking he's the janitor, asks him if he can help them out and take the kid to observation room 2. This female doctor is played by Julianne Moore. I had seen her name in the credits and had no idea she was in this movie. This was before she was really famous. She's not in it very much, but I heard a big chunk of her role was cut. Originally, she was supposed to have a romance with Kimble, but they scratched that. Probably a good idea since basically the whole movie is about Kimble trying to find the guy who, you know, murdered his wife and proving his innocence. Anyway, Dr. Eastman (Moore's character) notices Kimble looking at the kid's X-ray. Kimble takes the kid in the elevator. They're the only people in there, so he's able to cross out what the previous doctor had written on the kid's charts and he writes his own diagnosis, delivering the right department. Doing this, will save the kid's life. </p><p>Back in the lobby, Dr. Eastman is suspicious and asks Kimble why a janitor would be looking at an X-ray and Kimble replies it's a hobby. She doesn't believe him and grabs his ID badge, telling him to stay where he is while she gets it checked out. Of course, he's not staying put! He scrams! </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiY5S7WH5Th2RyYfsLhJYu8SfAwiF8gDwcja7QPnPyDr7ksrFLao0AIFBjZbj4lHhOomrahNPJMHLxrHLVAiXD5hWjcUA_3mpbOontxIlTlrBLwLFgT9AAeYaw9WgbTszQTPXtPY3XcuJEI3Q7VksyrwRXURHhHQ8Cughk0n3J7gYwUFnLZkMHPaXHCyYI" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="409" data-original-width="728" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiY5S7WH5Th2RyYfsLhJYu8SfAwiF8gDwcja7QPnPyDr7ksrFLao0AIFBjZbj4lHhOomrahNPJMHLxrHLVAiXD5hWjcUA_3mpbOontxIlTlrBLwLFgT9AAeYaw9WgbTszQTPXtPY3XcuJEI3Q7VksyrwRXURHhHQ8Cughk0n3J7gYwUFnLZkMHPaXHCyYI=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div>The U.S. Marshalls are called and Dr. Eastman gives them her statement. Gerard and Cosmo wonder why a fugitive like Kimble would come to a public place such as a hospital and that's when they see a man with arm and follow him to the myoelectric lab. They come up with their own list of 47 males in the age range that Kimble described with one arm and start cross referencing them for criminal records.<p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiOtlGg5oIsHGTw1l85EgOvqeku-qGHRvtp3aWkV0v1ZQycKE4gEpAaKvP-zuYjF8-jIHfsYahPSHQqToZtVkiEWFRj6Cs2uRiwm5H0qmHKWKTcohN1C4rsDvTfYL09HbsGDIm24dUNiz_hAiYjeNZPYtY60L4xLAQTUwsDfDfU9J4PHs5efivoGqs4BBw" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="960" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiOtlGg5oIsHGTw1l85EgOvqeku-qGHRvtp3aWkV0v1ZQycKE4gEpAaKvP-zuYjF8-jIHfsYahPSHQqToZtVkiEWFRj6Cs2uRiwm5H0qmHKWKTcohN1C4rsDvTfYL09HbsGDIm24dUNiz_hAiYjeNZPYtY60L4xLAQTUwsDfDfU9J4PHs5efivoGqs4BBw=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div>At a payphone, Kimble makes calls pretending to be a doctor checking in on the patients from the list he printed. Being that this is 1993, payphone are pretty prominent in this movie, mostly used by Kimble. I think he probably uses one five or six times. You really couldn't make this movie today because it would be so much easier for him if he had a Smartphone. There was a sign on one of the payphone that made me laugh: "Please limit phone calls to five minutes." You know, because other people may need to use the phone! <p></p><p>Kimble is able to narrow down the list even more and breaks into the home of the last guy. Luckily, that guy isn't home at the moment so he's able to just rummage through his stuff and he finds pictures of the guy who he recognizes as being the one he got into a fight with and he finds a prosthetic arm in his drawer. He also finds pictures of the guy with Dr. Lentz who was at the fundraiser the night of his wife's murder. </p><p>Back at U.S. Marshalls headquarters, Gerard is told he has a phone call from someone claiming to be Richard Kimble. He and his team are talking and joking, but once Gerard realizes he's actually talking to Kimble, he makes a very irritated signal with his hands, telling everybody to shut up. Kimble tells him he's trying to solve the puzzle of who killed his wife and that he "just find a big piece". He gets up and walks away, but leaves the phone off the hook because obviously he wants them to find the murderer's home, which of course they go to right away.</p><p>The one-armed man is named Fredrick Sykes and when he returns home, he wants to know what's going on. They tell him he had a break-in and that a fugitive named Richard Kimble made a phone call from his apartment. Sykes denies knowing somebody by that name, but once they show him Kimble's photo, he recognizes him as the man who blamed a one-armed man for killing his wife and asks if he's coming after him. Gerard asks if he has a reason to come after him. This is when we found out that the police have already talked to Sykes and he was cleared because he had an alibi: he was on a business trip with fifteen people. We find out he works in security for the pharmacuetical company, Devlin MacGregor. </p><p>Gerard's team leave because they don't have any hard evidence on this guy yet, but Gerard tasks Noah with finding out who the guy in the picture next to Sykes is. They will soon find out the man is Dr. Lentz. </p><p>That evening, the Hilton is hosting the International Association of Cardiologists where Dr. Nicholes will be the keynote speaker. We see him at the hotel in the afternoon, getting his speech prepared, when his assistant tells him he has a phone call and it's an emergency. Of course, it's Kimble who tells him he found the man who killed Helen. He believes they were after him, not Helen, because "Lentz was supervising the protocol for RDU-90" and he knew Kimble found out it was causing liver damage. Nichols drops a bombshell on Richard and tells him that Lentz is dead, that he died in a car accident last summer. He asks Richard if he can prove this about the drug and Kimble says he can, but he will need his help and tells him to call "Bones" (is that a nickname, I hope) and give him whatever he needs. It's at this scene where I get the feeling that Nichols is behind this, that he's not on Kimble's side, but he's pretending to be. </p><p>Soon after, Gerard and Cosmo arrive at the hotel to talk to Nichols and they show him the picture of Sykes, telling him that Kimble broke into his apartment. When they ask him if he knows either Sykes or the man standing next to him, Nichols says he doesn't but of course we know that's a big fat lie! </p><p>At the same time the U.S. Marshalls find out that the man next to Sykes in the photo is Dr. Lentz and that he has since passed away AND that Nichols lied about knowing him, Kimble makes a visit to Bones at the hospital and takes a liver sample he asked for. He takes it to Jane Lynch who looks at it under a microscope and declares, "Not only did they all come from healthy livers, they all came from the same liver." Lentz was one of the original patent holder on RDU-90 and Kimble was sending him his tissue samples and "he was replacing them with healthy samples, issuing the path reports on them, and sh*t-canning [Kimble's] stuff." Jane Lynch points out that Lentz died on August 21st and "half of the samples he approved were signed the day he died." She believes someone else but have been manipulating this, but who else would have access? It's at this point I believe Kimble knows exactly who it is, but I figured it out before he did, so ha, ha! He's got an enraged look on his face and he tells Jane Lynch he's going "to see a friend."</p><p>We get confirmation that it is indeed Nichols when Noah calls Gerard (he had just spoken to Bones) and tells him the release was approved by Dr. Nichols. There's a bunch of cross referencing with phone numbers going on and they find out that Kimble's car phone was used to cal Sykes at 7:30, the night of Helen's murder. Of course, we'll find out it was Nichols who made that call. I'm still a little confused as to why Kimble loaned him his car, but I guess he's just a good friend for him. Unfortunately for him, that was a ploy for Nicholas to get the keys and let Sykes into the Kimble home. But why would Kimble also give him his house keys? If (and that's a pretty big if because it would never happen) I lent my car to a friend, I would only give them my spare car keys, not my house keys. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjV1Xn-54v5pNPfxNg4zaobxVSX5CcvfHw7ZwCmzqIUBUtJ47msBDnCsgWubPhNj7kekSzfase8MKYhUhHGKoOAJaxfh8VYqra6Enemma9zrxIzi02vee2201WdDjNE4iJLr6nMNLqp9DicIP4euhNhEMWOe2cqHh2ZBG3x3EUhlMUCUHpDUKyowyCcdNQ" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="675" data-original-width="1200" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjV1Xn-54v5pNPfxNg4zaobxVSX5CcvfHw7ZwCmzqIUBUtJ47msBDnCsgWubPhNj7kekSzfase8MKYhUhHGKoOAJaxfh8VYqra6Enemma9zrxIzi02vee2201WdDjNE4iJLr6nMNLqp9DicIP4euhNhEMWOe2cqHh2ZBG3x3EUhlMUCUHpDUKyowyCcdNQ=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div>They want to talk to Sykes, but he has fled. Both he and Kimble have ended up on the same el train. There's a comical moment where Kimble is siting across the aisle from a man who's reading the paper and on the front page is a picture of Kimble and how he's an escaped fugitive. When the man flips to the front page and sees the picture, he looks up at Kimble, then slowly gets up and walks to the next train where he alerts a police officer about Kimble. This is when it is revealed that Sykes is on the train and he tries to shoot Kimble, but he ends up shooting the officer and they get in a scuffle, but Kimble manages to handcuff Sykes to a seat and gets off the train, but not before telling Sykes, "You missed your stop." Ha, nice zinger, Kimble. <p></p><p>So now it's time for Dr. Nichols to give his big speech at the Hilton and he is introduced as being appointed director of Devlin MacGregor Pharmaceuticals. While he is talking about the wonder of the new drug, Provasic, he looks up to see Kimble in the back of the room with his arms crossed and glaring at him. Nichols knows now that he's been caught and starts to get nervous and has a Freudian slip when he says "dishonest" instead of "honest" and quickly fixes his mistake. Richard is getting closer to him, so he stops to acknowledge him and tells him he's in the middle of a speech. Richard doesn't care about that and tells Nichols that he thought he got away with it, but he (Richard) knows all about it and that he can prove it. I wonder just how much the audience can hear him? Probably just the people in the front. Nichols asks him to step aside so they can talk. The audience gasps when Kimble accuses Nichols of switching the samples so that RDU-90 could be approved. Basically, at this point, it's obvious that Sykes was hired by Nichols to murder Kimble to cover up that the drug was no good, but obviously Richard wasn't home that night because he was at work and I guess his wife was just collateral damage. Or maybe they went with the intention of killing his wife, then framing the murder on Richard so he would be locked away forever. I'm not really quite sure what the plan was. You would think they would just want to kill him so there would be no chance of something like this happening! Also, with framing someone, you would have to make sure that everything went to plan and it's not like they knew Helen's last actions would accidentally convict her husband of killing her; that certainly wasn't in their plans! </p><p>So, anyway, Kimble and Nichols ends up fighting in the presidential suite that Nichols is staying in and their fight is taken outside where they crash through a glass roof and they both end up in (Nichols) or on top (Kimble) of a service elevator which takes them to the laundry room. At this time, Gerard and his team are on the scene and they also follow them to the laundry room. Nichols knocks out Cosmo with a big lead beam and takes his gun. He sees Gerard and is about to shoot him, but Kimble, who has picked up a metal pipe, knocks out Nichols before he can shoot the U.S. Marshall, so he has saved Gerard's life. By now they all know that Richard is innocent and that's the end of the movie. </p><p>Sometimes I like to guess how old an actor is when I watch a movie and that's what I did with this one. I guessed Tommy Lee Jones to be in the 54-58 range, maybe 52 at the youngest. I thought he would be a good decade older than Harrison Ford, who I guessed was 45-45 when he made that. Uh....how wrong I was! Tommy Lee Jones was around 46 when he filmed this and Harrison Ford is actually OLDER! Not by very much, just by four years, but still. </p>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-36073434820969684602023-09-21T22:32:00.004-05:002023-09-21T22:32:44.369-05:00My Three Dads<div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Three Men and a Baby</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Director: Leonard Nimoy</div><div style="text-align: left;">Cast: Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, Steve Guttenberg, Margaret Colin, Nancy Travis, and two babies! </div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: November 25, 1987</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhL5dVV_sgrnSwU90r2NzPkHFvWciuaIXQKJ7le_R0LffP2aBrJhCnGCzjCsQSMmoZdpRjdwyf2eUriyyr6l98UyWWJWINqgBA0rZ5MQgmq4NDp4B_8toLYnZLyK2Bb2UUgLRB4gKTohnzmmy7MPZGqnK5-1dt_71WGNtjArZSl1EojCv0PsSrFRc29Msg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="730" data-original-width="1296" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhL5dVV_sgrnSwU90r2NzPkHFvWciuaIXQKJ7le_R0LffP2aBrJhCnGCzjCsQSMmoZdpRjdwyf2eUriyyr6l98UyWWJWINqgBA0rZ5MQgmq4NDp4B_8toLYnZLyK2Bb2UUgLRB4gKTohnzmmy7MPZGqnK5-1dt_71WGNtjArZSl1EojCv0PsSrFRc29Msg=w400-h225" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Three Men and a Little Lady</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Director: Emile Ardolino</div><div style="text-align: left;">Cast: Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, Steve Guttenberg, Nancy Travis, Fiona Shaw</div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: November 21, 1990</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhZ_CT790k9o-_F7FnjVBGe95tCqPJPCB5NvcZFzhr5j5Hi18YoXTA1QlgJFgX7li2mcTV2ToWMXJKdfL0CRxRogbasTOr_POJkXUvIjNMwyArTJuDe0PUgdZVwX0l75HoaKdqe_MvdvgIzsMgbYyECsrvJxHOZNrTf7kQY6mSqlUQhNSQYfgMbSzGC53Y" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1920" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhZ_CT790k9o-_F7FnjVBGe95tCqPJPCB5NvcZFzhr5j5Hi18YoXTA1QlgJFgX7li2mcTV2ToWMXJKdfL0CRxRogbasTOr_POJkXUvIjNMwyArTJuDe0PUgdZVwX0l75HoaKdqe_MvdvgIzsMgbYyECsrvJxHOZNrTf7kQY6mSqlUQhNSQYfgMbSzGC53Y=w400-h225" width="400" /></a></div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">These are both movies I haven't seen in a long, long time, probably not since the early '90s when I was a kid, so when I watched them recently, it was almost like I was watching them for the first time. I'm pretty sure I saw the sequel in theaters and that was the last time I saw it. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The first movie is just ludicrous. I don't know if there's a better word to describe it. I have so many questions and I feel like many of my questions don't get answered. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">My first question that never gets answered is why do these three grown-ass men all live together in this fancy penthouse in New York? Yes, it's a penthouse and there's plenty of room, but we never really learn how they all came to live together or why. The place belongs to Peter (Tom Selleck), who is an architect. He either must have his own company that's doing well (he does mention he has built many buildings) or maybe he built the apartment he lives in and as the architect, he was able to live in the penthouse? I don't know how it works! But he is raking in the money! Maybe I wasn't aware that architects make millions of dollars. This penthouse has (at least) four bedrooms and a pool table, jukebox, media room, and a little outside courtyard. I don't think it's his roommates that are making the money. Jack (Ted Danson) is an actor, but he seems to do mostly commercials and TV movies where he's not the lead. And last but not least, Michael (Steve Guttenberg) is a cartoonist. He has a comic or something he draws for the paper. IDK, but it's honestly not that important. They never tell us how old any of them are; the closest they get is when the movie starts with a birthday party (where there's at least 200 people in attendance) for Peter and Michael jokes that he's either in his late 30s or early 40s. If we're going by that, Jack is also in the same age range, but Michael is at least ten years younger. I looked up the actors' ages in real life when they did this movie and found out Selleck was 42, Danson was 40, and Guttenberg was a mere 29! If they had Peter and Michael be brothers, it would make a lot more sense. Maybe Michael is struggling financially and Peter lets him stay at his extravagant home. Then you can just have Jack as his friend who mooches off of him or something. At least then we get an explanation of why they all live together. But they explain nada about how they became friend or roommates. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Like I mentioned, the movie begins with a huge party for Peter and we get some exposition. We learn that Peter has been in an open relationship for the last five years with a woman named Rebecca. She is played by Margaret Colin who looked really familiar to me, so I looked her up on IMDb and realized I knew her from playing Jeff Goldblu's ex in <i>Independence Day </i>and Blair's mom in <i>Gossip Girl</i> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">We also find out Jack will be leaving the next morning to go to Turkey for ten weeks where he will be filming a movie. A friend of his, who's directed him in a few commercials, asks him for a favor. He says he's having a package delivered tomorrow, but he will be shooting a commercial tomorrow in San Francisco and asks Jack if he can have the package delivered here instead and two guys will pick it up on Thursday. He also calls it a "delicate matter" and tells him not to tell anyone. If someone wants a package that's a "delicate matter" delivered to you, say no. But Jack tells him that's fine. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">At the airport, he realizes he forgot to tell his roommates (well, he just did have a wild party the night before!) and calls them from the airport, leaving a message about it. We see Peter listening to the message and Jack ends it by saying, "Just put it aside, and don't worry about it."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So I'm sure by now you can see we're about to have one big misunderstanding! It's obvious that this package contains drugs or something illegal of that nature. And it just so happens it's going to be delivered on the sane day that they're going to find a baby outside their door. Peter goes out jogging and comes back with the newspaper. He's so busy looking at it that he doesn't even notice the baby in the bassinet that's near his door (which I call bulls*t!). But once he's inside the apartment, he does a double take and checks outside the door, and sure enough, he sees a sleeping baby. He calls Michael to take a look at the baby and Michael finds a note on the baby which reads "<i>Dear Jack, here is our baby. I can't handle this. I don't know where to turn. Someday I hope you can both forgive me. Her name is Mary. Love, Sylvia.</i>" </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Neither of then know who Sylvia is because "you need a secretary to keep track of all [Jack's] women." So this movie came out when <i>Cheers</i> was in its sixth season and I guess they thought they had to make Ted Danson's character in this just like Sam Malone. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Peter assume this must be the package that he talked about in the message. He tells Michael, "He said to put it away and not to worry about it" to which Michael astoundingly replies, "He said that about a baby!" It's a little odd that they refer to the baby as an "it" when they know it's a girl, but I guess that's part of the joke since the actual package that Jack and his director friend were referring to is an "it". </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I feel like if a situation happened like this in real life and you couldn't get a hold of either of the baby's guardians, wouldn't you all CPS or the police or some authority figure? Obviously, this is what I would do if some random baby was just outside my doorstep, but if it were a friend's baby, (a friend who didn't know about said baby!) and I wasn't able to get in contact with this friend, then I guess that would be a lot trickier. Luckily, this has never happened to me. *knocks on wood* </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Luckily, this baby has been dropped off at the lavish home of a millionaire, so Peter is able to buy a lot of supplies for the baby. While he's out picking up formula, bottles, food, diapers, and other baby necessities, Michael watches the baby who won't stop crying. Keep in mind neither of these guys have had any experience with babies! I will say that they cast a really cute baby. Or, I should say, babies, as little Mary is played by twins. The character of Mary is seven months old, but I did some research online and found that the twins were four months old when they filmed it. Ha, I wonder if they even remember anything? (Just joking, I know there's no way they can remember being in this movie!) The baby is crying so loud that it does get a little uncomfortable watching it, especially since you know the baby isn't "acting". </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi994BQsq_R7uMmrA_a4PJuteA6O9qeC_81OLkfGxmVhLk4p9ilpC9TOxvuXQC7vixEdEwv8D7dQrEVqBmgnqXnDyc7DF1TxvF-nxORG1zqmDlc3ZugTO4leAhjnfKwKZrfOdsC0vnW-cI5b6RArgyjkXbUdZRwTFenEv5_RfcFtGJu3Z3LHZjX1X02SDs" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1920" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi994BQsq_R7uMmrA_a4PJuteA6O9qeC_81OLkfGxmVhLk4p9ilpC9TOxvuXQC7vixEdEwv8D7dQrEVqBmgnqXnDyc7DF1TxvF-nxORG1zqmDlc3ZugTO4leAhjnfKwKZrfOdsC0vnW-cI5b6RArgyjkXbUdZRwTFenEv5_RfcFtGJu3Z3LHZjX1X02SDs=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div>The doorbell rings and it's their landlady, Mrs. Hathaway. She's holding a small, rectangular-shaped package. Hmm, could this be the actual package that they were expecting? Mrs. Hathaway, who loves babies, is delighted when she sees Mary and is asking all kinds of questions and Michael tells her the baby is Jack's. She says the baby needs to be changed and offers to help, but Michael refuses. At first I was confused because you think he'd want help with something he's never done before, but then I realized they didn't have the diapers or other necessities for changing a baby, so he probably didn't want Mrs. Hathaway to know about that. Before she leaves, she gives him the package, and he just absent-mindedly tosses it onto the couch. As far as I know, Michael never heard the message from Jack so he has no idea that this is the actual package that he was talking about. He is also a little distracted with a crying baby to wonder about this package. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">While Michael is unsuccessfully trying to stop Mary crying, Peter isn't having much of his own luck at the store when he's buying formula. He interacts with an employee who knows an awful lot about babies and baby food and formula. She's either very dedicated to her job or maybe she's a mother. When she asks Peter how old his baby is, he says "About that old" and uses his hands to show her. That should send up red flags to the clerk that this man doesn't know how old his own baby is, but she's just aghast more than anything. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj82U9fIgxQZzo6TQlqKkLSA4_p9cdR-Qw2U67VIKDK-NFVLNEY4absE3Ax0Exy7xwFwn6OCUGCibNewBGcUlWGUoS_1on4NQmUdvKYN0Do7RGrYA7fRLL7WlPnvdGtk124w1EY-0m9iJ7WfjwlDd7y0mv-VZ43K-zWaeVc2RmdH-WWlGT-daK5g_S8nVc" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="377" data-original-width="700" height="108" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj82U9fIgxQZzo6TQlqKkLSA4_p9cdR-Qw2U67VIKDK-NFVLNEY4absE3Ax0Exy7xwFwn6OCUGCibNewBGcUlWGUoS_1on4NQmUdvKYN0Do7RGrYA7fRLL7WlPnvdGtk124w1EY-0m9iJ7WfjwlDd7y0mv-VZ43K-zWaeVc2RmdH-WWlGT-daK5g_S8nVc=w200-h108" width="200" /></a></div>Once Peter returns with all the items, the put her on the couch and change her. Peter insists that since he's an architect and has built fifty-story skyscrapers, he can put on a diaper. He bought these huge diapers that are "ultra absorbers", but once they change her and pick her up, the diaper falls off and she pees on the couch. Obviously, they end up changing many, many diapers and we'll later get a funny scene when the baby needs to be changed (once again) and Peter tells Michael, that he'll give him one thousand dollars if he'll do it and you know he's not joking. Later, there's an amusing moment when the baby is sleeping and they hear a siren, so they quickly get up to close the windows, but why would they have the windows open in the first place? </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Peter calls Rebecca, asking her to come over because there's a "big emergency". When she arrives, she's with a date because they're about to go to a concert (that's gotta be awkward bringing a date to the home of the man you're in an open relationship with!) and is not happy that Peter thinks she should help him with Jack's baby just because she's a woman and should automatically know about these things. Yeah, I agree, that's a little sexist on his part. As she tells him, "That doesn't mean I know about babies." He asks her to stay (in front of her date, mind you) and help take care of the baby, but of course she's not going to stay. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjCIU-BHlQXm4Lc1CUKPhVwxEBV-_XfrAknmt9lfLDyLdOnzTZIbdnqilzbwzTKRtXpGKhDUcmMdAAAeoRUJ1DiIQKuB0Ed-8l9yEx8sgvS4qvEdUlrlJZ5-1cb1rDIaJjTKZpQtS0KTbikYtjgSnumn2Bz4pQD5-EXZY1iwpjZXrbf3g6KLxsFDDWkbu8" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjCIU-BHlQXm4Lc1CUKPhVwxEBV-_XfrAknmt9lfLDyLdOnzTZIbdnqilzbwzTKRtXpGKhDUcmMdAAAeoRUJ1DiIQKuB0Ed-8l9yEx8sgvS4qvEdUlrlJZ5-1cb1rDIaJjTKZpQtS0KTbikYtjgSnumn2Bz4pQD5-EXZY1iwpjZXrbf3g6KLxsFDDWkbu8=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div>It's Thursday and just as Jack's director friend told him, two guys are there to pick up the package. Their names are Vince and Satch and it's clear that they aren't the most moral or respectable of citizens. Vince is played by Paul Guilfoyle who played Detective Jim Brass on <i>CSI: </i>and Satch is played by Earl Hindman who played Wilson on <i>Home Improvement</i>. It was weird seeing his face! At first, Vince does all the talking and I thought maybe Satch doesn't speak at all, but he later does have a few lines. Peter says, "I love the way everyone calls it a package." Well, maybe that's because they are expecting to pick up an actual package, and, not, you know, a baby! </div><p>While he goes to retrieve the baby in her bassinet, Michael tells them,"Tell Sylvia she's got a lot of nerve dumping her problems in our laps." Of course they have no idea who Sylvia is and ask him who she is. Michael ignores their question and goes on to say, "When it first got here, we considered calling the cops." They look a little concerned about that, ha! Also, I understand for the sake of the misunderstanding, they call the baby an "it" because it would be weird if he referred to the drugs (yes, there are drugs in that package, are you that surprised?) as a "she", but it's still really weird that Michael and Peter have been taking care of Mary for four days and refer to her as an "it". Michael continues to tell them that they haven't been able to work or sleep and there's shit everywhere (heh). They look thoroughly confused at that! They take this to mean that the package "busted". Peter returns and hands a befuddled Vince the baby in her bassinet and tells him she'll be ready for her next bottle in forty-five minutes. When he tells him that he forgot the powdered milk and goes to retrieve this, Vince assumes that this must be what he's actually there for cuz he's all like, "Oh, yeah, powdered milk, can't forget that." Once the powdered milk has been placed in the bassinet, Vince realizes that they want him to take the baby and they tell him that was the arrangement. Okay, so obviously, Peter and Michael are very clueless about what's going on, but you would think Vince and Satch would know something was up or at least be warned if a baby was involved (and you'd have to be a very special kind of f**ked up person to have a baby involved with drug dealings!) Like, what are they planning on doing with this baby? I doubt they're calling the cops! </p><p>Before they leave, Peter gives them some tips, then adds that maybe they should leave their phone number in case they need advice, but Vince tells him he'll call him if he needs to. </p><p>Now you may be thinking, aren't Peter and Michael a bit concerned about what they just did? Why are they handing over this baby to two strange men who don't give off the best vibe? And yes, they are concerned. Well, at least Peter is. Michael is enjoying the peace and quiet, but Peter tells him he has a "funny feeling" that "something screwy is going on." Yes, Peter, your instincts are right! Michael tells him that he's been tense for the last five days and it it's "just [his] nerves unwinding" and Peter agrees that's probably what it is. After Michael gets up from the couch, Peter leans back and he retrieves the package that Michael had thrown on the couch earlier (you know, the one with the drugs in it; the real package that was to be picked up by Vince and Satch). He asks Michael what it is and he says it's a package that Mrs. Hathaway delivered to him on Sunday and it soon clicks that they made a huge mistake and Peter runs downstairs to try to catch them before they leave. </p><p>The two hoodlums are driving a convertible, a car this is most definitely not equipped for carrying a baby. Satch suggest that Vince put the baby in the trunk (WTF?) and Vince is about to go through with this, but realizes he can't put a baby in the trunk. Peter comes running out of the elevator and trips on a rug in the lobby, making him drop the package and it rips a little and he can sees packets of heroin. (Look, I'm no drug expert, but aren't drug packaged a little more covertly?) I guess this scene is there so the audience (and the protagonists) knows that there are indeed drugs in that package. He puts the package in his pocket and tells Vince that he made a terrible mistake and that he gave him the wrong package. He tries to get the baby back, but for some reason, Vince won't let go of the bassinet. I guess he thinks the drugs are still with the baby, but why not just take the powdered milk and let Peter have the baby? That is what he will do in the end, but it's still a little weird that he wanted to take the baby. Satch, who's sitting in the driver's seat, reaches for a gun that's in the glove compartment, but quickly puts it away when a policeman on horseback comes riding up and asks Vince if he was about to put the baby in the trunk, which he strongly denies. </p><p>The policeman tells Vince he's double parked and wants to see his driver's license and registration. Vince gives Peter the baby in her bassinet, but takes the powered milk. He tells the officer he'll be right back, but as soon as he gets in the car they speeds away. The officer then wants to see Peter's identification, but he doesn't have it with him, so he invites him up to his apartment. The officer wants to search him, but Peter can't let him do that because of the drugs. He tells him he's an architect and he's not going to "spread them" because he has a baby with him. The officer accepts his invitation to go up to his apartment so Peter can show him his ID. Once they get to the front door, Peter invites him in for a cup of coffee, but the officer tells him he's gonna wait by the front door. I'm surprised he didn't insist on following him to be sure there was no funny business (which there will be!). Peter hands over the baby and drugs to Michael, telling him to hide the drugs. which he will do by using an X-acto knife to cut into one of Mary's (clean) diapers and hiding them in there. He then proceeds to put the diaper on Mary who needed to be changed. This will be later used as comedy, but it makes no sense that he would put a drug-laden diaper on a baby.</p><p>Before Peter had gone downstairs to get Mary back, the audience is shown an older man in a car, who seems to be keeping an eye on Vince and Satch. Obviously he is aware of their nefarious ways. He has come up to the apartment and tells the policeman he can leave. He introduces himself to Peter as Detective Sergeant Melkowitz (played by Philip Bosco) in Narcotics. He has a few questions for Peter. He asks him about the baby and Peter tells him she belongs to his roommate. He asks him about the two guys he saw talking downstairs and he says they are friends of the mother's and they they were going to take the baby for a ride, but they couldn't because the car had no baby seat. This is a terrible (and obvious) lie. What kind of idiot would take a baby for a ride, but not have a car seat? Also, who is going to let these two take their baby "for a ride"? (And, yes, I realize that Peter and Michael almost let them do that exact thing!) I did wonder why he just didn't tell the Detective the truth, that there had been a misunderstanding, but by that time they were too far in, hiding the drugs and all. They also probably didn't want Jack to get in trouble. Plus we need more plot for the movie! </p><p>Melkowitz asks if he can see the baby, but Peter tells him she's sleeping and as soon as he says that, we hear Mary babbling behind the closed door. He tries to tell him that she doesn't like strangers, but the detective opens the door and luckily the drugs are hidden by that time! In fact, Mary is wearing them. Melkowitz picks her up and calls her "a heavy little girl." This is supposed to be played as a comedic scene because the narcotics officer is literally holding a lot of illegal drugs...but he doesn't even know it! Also, while Mary is a healthy-looking baby, she clearly isn't a chubby baby, so you think he would put two and two together and realize why she was so heavy. He notices the diaper is a bit lumpy and tells them she needs to be changed. Surely people can't be this stupid. Michael quickly takes her and goes back into the room to "change" her, closing the door. </p><p>Melkowitz asks Peter if he knows where Jack is at the moment and he tells him he's "on location doing a TV movie", but lies about telling him he doesn't know where. I feel like that would send up a red flag to me: your friend is doing a TV movie, but they didn't tell you where they would be? That seems fishy! The detective shows him a picture of Jack's director (and druggie, apparently) friend and tells him his name is Paul Milner and that he directs TV commercials and "on the side, he dabbles in heroin smuggling." </p><p>The phone rings then and Peter lets the answering machine get it, but once he hears Jack's voice on the machine, he runs to answer the phone in another room. Now, for some reason, the detective hears the entire conversation. Even though Peter has answered the phone, I guess the detective can still hear the conversation on the answering machine. I would think that once you pick up the phone and answer the call, the machine would stop recording? IDK. I'm sure I've used answering machines before, but I honestly don't remember the mechanics of them. Thank God those days are over! Anyway, Melkowitz hears this entire conversation which consists of Jack telling Peter he got a message that they've been been trying to reach him. Peter tells him now is not a good time to chat, but Jack doesn't want to call back because it took him an hour to get through. He then proceeds to tell him how he found all this great "stuff" in Turkey and that he may have to "smuggle" it back. He's just joking, but it sure doesn't sound good to the narcotics detective! </p><p>Melkowitz finally does leave and Peter and Michael do wonder if it's possible that Jack is involved with these drug dealers. Michael has moved the drugs to the garbage, under all the dirty diapers because no one will look there. (The sad thing is, there are probably some druggies out there who would still use those drugs even if they've been sitting under a pile of literal sh*t!) </p><p>The next day, both Peter and Michael have places they need to be, so they hire Mrs. Hathaway to baby-sit Mary. When Peter comes back later, the apartment has been completely ransacked and their landlady has been tied up to a chair. Of course, Peter's first concern is Mary, but Mrs. H. doesn't where she is. After tearing through his huge apartment, he's relieved when he finally finds her in a small closet. There's a note attached to her saying that she'll be taken next time. So it's obvious to the audience (and Peter and Michael) that this was Vince and Satch, looking for the drugs. But Mrs. Hathaway doesn't know this. She doesn't seem to have any questions. She doesn't call the police. You think being their landlady, she would have a lot more questions! They just kind of pretend that she forgot about this whole incident. It was odd. We never do see Mrs. Hathaway in the movie again. </p><p>One night, after everyone has gone to bed, Peter sees someone sneaking into the apartment and it's so obvious it's Jack. Thinking it's one of the drug mules, he attacks the intruder and that's when he realizes it's Jack who tells him his part was cut and that's why he's back early. After he asks what's going on, he hears a baby cry. Peter and Michael explain everything to him. Jack remembers meeting Sylvia a year and a half ago when he was in Stratford and they were both performing <i>The Taming of The Shrew.</i> His roommates tell him it's his turn to take care of the baby since they've been doing it for however long how much time has passed. While Jack is trying to figure out how to change her, Peter and Michael are playing pool and ignore his pleas for help, but after half an hour, they help him. Well, they're probably doing it mostly for Mary's benefit. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg6PgtKrspuM3AEdiC4pEiGp3bl3IVCD1LZtOPwLmfAOSL8sAmE_6Xqpu2E1mM0HmwC2BpbA79gZXbFb-9N2yq2iNB6IrARF1sziPaRq0lfYwFjEWKbsAtU7aR5bvYvlKFHjvD01C9DJn37YIidaaXlKhW3ksNdC6gVDrh6v0CVN6-j-eFyRC5VHtmUTeA" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="377" data-original-width="700" height="108" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg6PgtKrspuM3AEdiC4pEiGp3bl3IVCD1LZtOPwLmfAOSL8sAmE_6Xqpu2E1mM0HmwC2BpbA79gZXbFb-9N2yq2iNB6IrARF1sziPaRq0lfYwFjEWKbsAtU7aR5bvYvlKFHjvD01C9DJn37YIidaaXlKhW3ksNdC6gVDrh6v0CVN6-j-eFyRC5VHtmUTeA=w200-h108" width="200" /></a></div>I will give Jack credit that he does bond with his daughter and is very attentive to her for someone who just found out he had a kid. Not soon long after he returns home, Peter and Michael are going to a play with their dates and Jack will be left alone with Mary for the first time. It's pretty cute how Peter and Michael act like concerned parents, giving Jack, who they're treating like the baby-sitter, the number where they can be reached if he needs them and that an usher will get then if he needs them to come home. <p></p><p>So Jack bonds with her daughter and while he's bathing her in the shower, Peter and Michael are at the intermission of their play with the second act about to start in a few minutes. Peter is already worried and decides to call Jack to check up on him and see how things are going. When Jack doesn't answer (because the water is running so he doesn't hear anything), both he and Michael come to the conclusion that he either fell asleep or hit his head and that he's "probably unconscious". They tell their dates there's an emergency and they need to go. They rush home to find that Jack and Mary are both okay. Jack asks them why they're back so soon and Michael tells him they think that they may have left the stove on. Jack says to Mary, "I think that Unlce Peter and Uncle Michael are having a nervous breakdown."</p><p>After Peter admits he called him and Jack says he didn't hear the phone in the shower, the next day we get a scene of a guy installing a phone in the shower and asking Michael if he gets many calls in there and Michael replies, "a steady stream." Something tell me that they probably never use that phone. </p><p>Peter checks his mail and finds a newspaper with a headline that reads "Commercial Director Hospitalized After Mugging". Attached is a note that reads "Don't let this happen to you. Be at the phone booth at the corner of 81st and Columbus at 8 tonight." The three men (and a baby!) go to that phone booth and Peter answers it when the bad guys call to tell them their plan on getting the drugs back. Peter tells them that since they are in possession of the drugs, they're going to do it their way or he'll flush their stash down the toilet. We never learn how the bad guys wanted to get their drugs back, but Peter tells them to meet at a construction site (the one he's working at, obviously, but they don't know that). They have worked out a plan where Jack will call Melkowitz from a pay phone while Michael will be hiding with a camcorder so he can record the conversation that Peter will have with the drug dealers. For some reason, they decide they need to take Mary with them. They can't find a baby-sitter while they're out on a drug bust? I get that maybe Mrs. Hathaway might not want to baby-sit again, but can't Rebecca or one of the many women they know baby-sit? While most of the time, these guys are pretty protective of Mary, they really drop the ball with her well-being here! </p><p>So while Jack is right outside the construction site near the car where Mary is, Michael is hiding and ready to record the conversation Peter has with Vince and Satch. He tells them the package is in the elevator, behind the control panel, adding that they had nothing to do with it and they had no idea what was in the package. Like, he's making it so obvious that I'm surprised they didn't realize what he was doing and that this conversation was being recorded. Vince even confirms that Peter had no idea what was going on by saying, "No kidding. I could've figured that out in four seconds." </p><div style="text-align: left;">Satch retrieves the package from the elevator panel and they are about to leave (the next step would be for Jack to stop the elevator with some controllers he was nearby, then call the police), but things go awry when Michael accidentally reveals himself and they see him with the camcorder. Vince accuses Peter of "abusing his trust." Peter manipulates a bunch of lead pipes to fall on the bad guys and he and Michael jump into an elevator. The bad guys manage to get into a second elevator. Instead of stopping the elevator the bad guys are in, Jack stops the one with his friends. They yell down at him to hit the button on the left. He doesn't hear them, but finally is able to stop the right elevator. The cops arrive and this storyline has concluded at the one hour and fifteen minute mark. Guess them movie's over! Uh, not quite! </div><p>We next see a montage of the three men (and a baby!) at the park with two of them playing with a Frisbee while one of them is holding the baby (they alternate holding the baby). Whoever is holding the baby at the moment has SWARMS of women coming up to him and cooing over the baby. She is a literal chick magnet. Look, Mary is a cute baby, but God, these women look so pathetic. Also, if I saw a man with a baby, I would figure he's probably married or at least already in a relationship. This montage continues with Peter bringing her to the construction site and she's wearing a little pink hardhat which is really cute, but is a construction site the best place to bring a baby? And we see Jack auditioning for a play and when he turns around, it is revealed that Mary is strapped to his back. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgrGhPV0oJg8SFdXY1kvUCTlh9mfX1HJZcJBzjsekfW4Jq_ESlRizLTn4ZJLJh67dz5xKrj3zzPz8irrdbhvm3SqNVlUwWXj_vkK7uKwLZVwXbla8mWu20yQrZHth5k6ei_gMZdlovXOA-YnXrRKWGKfMsP5TQ_GXbDBxS8XFA4LSe05jo_auxFKaBtRIk" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="480" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgrGhPV0oJg8SFdXY1kvUCTlh9mfX1HJZcJBzjsekfW4Jq_ESlRizLTn4ZJLJh67dz5xKrj3zzPz8irrdbhvm3SqNVlUwWXj_vkK7uKwLZVwXbla8mWu20yQrZHth5k6ei_gMZdlovXOA-YnXrRKWGKfMsP5TQ_GXbDBxS8XFA4LSe05jo_auxFKaBtRIk=w200-h150" width="200" /></a></div>One of the most well-known scenes from this movie, at least one that I even remember is when Mary is crying and can't get to sleep, so they all sing "Goodnight, Sweetheart" to her. <p></p><p>We get the last act of the movie when Sylvia (Nancy Travis) comes to pick up her daughter the next morning. I'm sorry, but this woman just leaves her baby by a front door and now thinks she can come back and reclaim her? Also, I had no idea she was supposed to be English as Nancy Travis has a terrible English accent and was wondering why she was pronouncing "mommy" as "mummy". (When she sees Mary, she tells her, "Mummy's back!") Why didn't they just cast an English actress? Duh. </p><p>Sylvia talks to Jack and tells him he's taken very good care of Mary and she apologizes, saying she shouldn't have left the way she did and hopes she didn't cause too much trouble. Oh, no, you just abandoned your baby, but luckily her father and two honorary uncles bonded with her and now you're just going to take her away from them and go live in another country across the ocean. You're not causing any trouble at all, Sylvia! Yes, that's right, Sylvia is taking her daughter and going back to London where she plans to move in with her parents so they can help her take care of Mary because she won't be able to work and take care of her on her own. She's leaving that night so she's taking Mary away at the last minute. </p><p>So Sylvia leaves with Mary and the guys are sad. Jack says he feels bad and he has an ache "right here" (he pats his heart). He tells his friends that he misses Mary and wishes there was something he could do. They decide there IS something they can do. They decide to head to the airport to stop them from getting on the flight. When they get to the gate (ah, yes, remember when you didn't need a ticket to go to a gate), the flight has already left. I thought for sure that Sylvia didn't get on the plane and we would see her stepping out of the restroom with Mary, but that doesn't happen. Three rejected men head on home...where they see Sylvia and Mary waiting for them. So they went to the airport for nothing! </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiM4F6Jj96tQryoBj6JJcPv9R76UyXQ4ykA81inX6QIXbN79UV-OR1-8uT1qjLCMa_mDS6KPR3ccsMM08hztqDLqir9Zqc0CjRGCCPWGORNJVllEMkfPLXAJ5M2QJFNH7g-Iglu2VJ1-XnjBjX35hmX9A4oSJPF3l0upVWRxc6IF78AErpsQMQxvNcQo10" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1036" data-original-width="1916" height="108" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiM4F6Jj96tQryoBj6JJcPv9R76UyXQ4ykA81inX6QIXbN79UV-OR1-8uT1qjLCMa_mDS6KPR3ccsMM08hztqDLqir9Zqc0CjRGCCPWGORNJVllEMkfPLXAJ5M2QJFNH7g-Iglu2VJ1-XnjBjX35hmX9A4oSJPF3l0upVWRxc6IF78AErpsQMQxvNcQo10=w200-h108" width="200" /></a></div>They all go inside and Sylvia tells Jack that she couldn't go because she would be making a mistake if she went to London. To be honest, I'm not really sure why she thought it was a mistake, but obviously they needed some excuse for her to stay in New York. She tells them she wants to work in New York, but there's no way she can work and take care of Mary by herself. It's all too hectic for her and Peter tells her they know how hard it is and Michael tells her,"The three of us could barely manage." She tells them that she needs help and Michael and Jack are more than happy to help and tell her they can leave Mary with them anytime she needs to. Sylvia replies with, "I was hoping you would say that." Why didn't she just ask for their help in the first place? She knows they all love Mary so they would be more than happy to help with her. I don't know, the way Sylvia goes about this, it just seems very manipulative. <p></p><p>However, Peter doesn't like this idea. He feels like they're just being treated as Mary's baby-sitters and he wants them to be able to see Mary all the time. He then invites Sylvia and Mary to move into the penthouse without even asking his roommates' permission. Of course, they think it's a great idea and Sylvia is more thrilled to move in. Of course she is; she gets to live in a NYC penthouse (and probably doesn't have to pay rent!) with her baby daddy and two extra people to help take care of her daughter. This is the most ludicrous living arrangement ever. Yes, Jack and Sylvia have a baby together, but it's not like they even had that much of a relationship besides being in a play together and sleeping together once. So now it's three men and a baby and the baby's mom (mum?).</p><p>The very last scene of the movie is the four adults walking out of the apartment with Mary in her stroller and they extend the handle so they can all push it at the same time. :::Groan:::</p><p>This movie is based on a 1985 French comedy called <i>Trois Hommes et un Couffin </i>which translates to "Three Men and a Cradle." </p><p>Before I start discussing <i>Three Men and a Little Lady</i>, let's take a minute to talk about the infamous urban legend scene that you may or may not know about. I first heard about this probably in the mid-2000s and it was probably on some film message board like Fametracker, heh. I did not familiarize myself with the so-called urban legend before I watched the movie because I wanted to see if I could catch it on my own. So from what I thought I remembered, apparently there's a scene in the movie where you can see a dead body because somebody had killed themselves or accidentally died on set. (I know, very morbid and disturbing. Also, a little insane that they would keep filming if someone had died!) So I watch the movie and I'm glad to report no dead bodies were seen, but I did sort of a double take when I think I see a random person in the background when two people are talking in the living room, but it turns out it's just a cardboard cutout of Ted Danson dressed in a tuxedo and a top hat, most likely a prop his character kept because of a commercial he was in. He keeps it in his room and his door is open and you can see into his room when I was watching this particular scene (which I don't even remember who was in it).</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiT-nCAAwUxCSt8CQmtHkikZ8V4yy-UllrYLCPZSUiA2vtYvNnEy1HEmlxhJJMYUX8DVGLa695DH24xjPFmPhJCMCzDzd_DSxcYtXqhUJY3SvS0AFT-ZNbwhFjmDogfr3tBRzyBf-ge_oaL8ijKov1_ggjcfT6YmdFoZ2tjnJeWcOKoC6r1s8nb_2BGkFY" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="525" data-original-width="980" height="107" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiT-nCAAwUxCSt8CQmtHkikZ8V4yy-UllrYLCPZSUiA2vtYvNnEy1HEmlxhJJMYUX8DVGLa695DH24xjPFmPhJCMCzDzd_DSxcYtXqhUJY3SvS0AFT-ZNbwhFjmDogfr3tBRzyBf-ge_oaL8ijKov1_ggjcfT6YmdFoZ2tjnJeWcOKoC6r1s8nb_2BGkFY=w200-h107" width="200" /></a></div>So after I watched the movie, I looked up the urban legend to see exactly what it is and it's pretty absurd! First of all, I was mixing up "dead person" with "ghost". Oops, my bad! It's a GHOST we see, heh. Apparently, way back in 1990 (I had no idea this even exited back then!) there was a rumor going on that you can see the GHOST of a young boy who lived in the same apartment where they filmed the movie and he had shot himself (suicide) and haunted the set. Who the f**k started this rumor? First of all, this was filmed on a set, so nobody used to live there because it would be impossible. There's a scene in the movie where Jack is talking to his mother who comes to visit and this is when you see the alleged ghost of a boy standing by the window and I guess it looks like there's a rifle next to him? This is the effing cardboard cutout of Ted Danson in a tuxedo and top hat. Remember, this is before the time of HD, so it makes total sense that people would mistake that for an effing ghost. :::rolls eyes::: I would really love to know how this rumor got started; it has to be one of the stupidest and absurd things I've ever heard about movie lore. Look, I will admit that it sort of surprised me when I see that cutout out of the corner of my eye because you're not expecting it, so I guess people's imaginations just run wild. <p></p><p>Okay, time to talk about<i> Three Men and a Little Lady</i>, the unnecessary sequel. Even though it came out three years later than the first one, it's set six years later because Mary is now six. I probably don't need to tell you that she isn't played by the twins who portrayed her as babies; instead it's just one little girl who was pretty much only in this and a couple of other things I've never heard of. </p><p>The movie starts with a montage of them moving into a townhouse or some larger living area because apparently that huge penthouse wasn't big enough to accommodate five people. This is around Mary is probably a year old and the montage progresses as she grows older until she's six. It's also stated that Sylvia has become a pretty big Broadway actor, so not really sure why she's still living with Peter, Jack, and Michael. I guess it's nice to have three built-in baby-sitters. </p><p>At one point, Mary calls Jack by his first name and I was wondering if she even knows that he's her biological dad, but she does. I would think that she would refer to Peter and Michael as her Uncles, but she calls them her "honorary daddies".</p><p>Rebecca is no longer in the picture which is disappointing because I liked her and Peter together and was hoping they would become exclusive. Instead, the sequel seems to be pointing towards a romantic subplot involving Peter and Sylvia, because, why not. When Sylvia is looking for Jack because she needs him to help her rehearse a scene for the play <i>Rainmaker</i>, he's not home so Peter offers to read his part. They read the scene and at the end, she kisses him and he asks her why she did that and she says it's in the script. He looks at the script and tells her his character is supposed to kiss her and suggests they do the scene again. Gee, like Sylvia didn't know that. It's so obvious she's into him, but he can't seem to take a clue. Well, he does like her, but we'll learn later on in the movie why he's not making a move when she's practically throwing herself at him. So they do the scene again and he kisses her this time, but then he stops and tells her he's not an actor and that he's not believable, but she tells him he was very believable. </p><p>Sylvia also has a somewhat relationship with her director, Edward (who is also British), but they're not involved anymore. I guess he's asked her to marry him before, but she said no. He's been asked to direct <i>A Midsummer Night's Dream</i> at the National Theatre in London and he wants Sylvia to play Helena. She tells him that she would love to do it, but Mary's starting school soon and that she needs to consider her daughter's needs. He asks her, "What about your needs?" and she tells him she'll think about it. </p><p>One evening when Mary is acting up and not going to bed, Sylvia is the one to get her to settle down, then she has a chat with the guys and tells them that she thinks they are "getting a taste of things to come" and asks them how long they think they'll be able to live the way they are in their unorthodox arrangement. She thinks that Mary needs "a more normal environment" and tells them she would like to be married someday and have more kids, but this living arrangement isn't going to cut it. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiCPRqudasqQ_7wmQqhcxqqHAE0sTUgNkLVBl3ZJNenaEbnMZcnIEmfYJKRI5B79xSOxN-Bd7tmiGHMLRakoCvV68S2QCQTkTXpnsqwH5ib0a0VCW8mgW6jgJ_EeIrdKuNqQy7g1jd-JYLBzuyKEtlQYF0IrK-WqzSG8KwEKhAJ4c8OtZy94sk068Wuhzc" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1370" data-original-width="2048" height="134" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiCPRqudasqQ_7wmQqhcxqqHAE0sTUgNkLVBl3ZJNenaEbnMZcnIEmfYJKRI5B79xSOxN-Bd7tmiGHMLRakoCvV68S2QCQTkTXpnsqwH5ib0a0VCW8mgW6jgJ_EeIrdKuNqQy7g1jd-JYLBzuyKEtlQYF0IrK-WqzSG8KwEKhAJ4c8OtZy94sk068Wuhzc=w200-h134" width="200" /></a></div>Sylvia must really want to get married because when Edward asks her to marry him again, this time she says yes. This means that she and Mary will able be moving to England since Edward will be working there now. This all seems a bit fast. This guy has asked her to marry him in the past and she said no, but now she's saying yes and moving her daughter to a completely different country away from the only home and people she's ever known. Seems a bit extreme, Sylvia. Of course, none of the three men are happy about this arrangement and they don't plan on attending the wedding. After the girls have left, Peter suggest to his two friends that they have a party like the ones the shed to throw and it will be "their return to bachelorhood." They have the party and there are some funny moments such as when Jack asks a woman to dance, but tells her she'll have to keep up with him because he's "one hell of a dancer", but she turns out to be a much better dance and he sprains his leg trying to keep up with her. Also, Peter goes to change the music but accidentally puts in a tape that's Ernie singing "Rubber Duckie". Instead of stopping it immediately, he lets it play for at least a good minute. <p></p><p>The guys realize they shouldn't even be at their own party and Michael says that when he spoke to Mary on the phone, she didn't sound happy. He thinks they need to be at the wedding for Mary, so he and Peter go to England, but Jack has a movie he's shooting in Brazil and he will come later. </p><p>Edward's family is very wealthy and they're having their wedding at his family's huge estate (or maybe it was HIS estate, hell I don't know, I don't think we ever meet his parents). For some reason, they have a butler who's pushing 90 and he can barely walk. He's also a bit senile because after he takes Peter and Michael to their room, he goes to show them the water closet and goes in himself, then starts to use it without closing the door (Michael quickly closes it when Mary comes into the room), then walks out without any pants. </p><p>Edward introduces Peter to Elspeth Lomax (Fiona Shaw, who I know best as Mrs. Dursley), who is the headmistress of the girls' school, the Pileforth Academy. According to her, they've "been turning out England's finest young ladies since the 18th century." Edward tells her that Peter likes her and that he asked to meet her. He tells her she needs to make it clear that she's attracted to him, but she can't come on too strongly. Obviously he's doing this because he knows that Peter and Sylvia have feelings for each other and he doesn't want them acting on those feelings, though dumping a woman on him that Peter clearly isn't interested in isn't going to work either. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgEbwzRbR-V8qr3gXM9yL2BermWkjOQgXBsrGYR3h_WaOK-jiGdXTEgJyegsMZG77iADMpUH6z7vKIrM-ipJ_-TRxTtk17hM6-9srUkffFIMLAtz7tcy63TTgFwtJAFjbH6AoMswldGkB3hIlD5bBjxBGYtC35Qd3NAI1DPMUoTTgf3VzpjWflPPLubG7o" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1550" data-original-width="2412" height="129" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgEbwzRbR-V8qr3gXM9yL2BermWkjOQgXBsrGYR3h_WaOK-jiGdXTEgJyegsMZG77iADMpUH6z7vKIrM-ipJ_-TRxTtk17hM6-9srUkffFIMLAtz7tcy63TTgFwtJAFjbH6AoMswldGkB3hIlD5bBjxBGYtC35Qd3NAI1DPMUoTTgf3VzpjWflPPLubG7o=w200-h129" width="200" /></a></div>Elspeth had told Peter that Mary will eventually be attending her school when she's eleven or twelve and Peter wasn't crazy about that, but when he and Michael find out that Mary was being measured for a uniform, they know that Edward plans on sending her much, much sooner. Peter tells Sylvia his concerns, but Edward overhears this and tells them that Mary felt like she was being left out of the wedding preparations so she was being measured for a blazer. Huh? That makes no sense. She's not even going to wear a blazer at the wedding and it's not like a blazer fitted for her would fit anyone else. Of course, Sylvia believes this bulls*t story because she's an idiot. It's moment like these when I really miss Rebecca. Rebecca was an intelligent, attractive, independent woman without a stupid faux accent. <p></p><p>Privately, Peter tells Sylvia she can't marry Edward and when Sylvia asks him why not, he tells her he can't marry him for Mary's sake. This does not please her because obviously she wants him to tell her that he loves her. If you think about it, she's just marrying Edward to spite Peter. </p><p>By this time, Jack has arrived and he tells Peter that he knows how he feels about Sylvia and the needs to tell her that he does her and the only reason she's marrying Edward is because Peter didn't ask her first. The reason Peter has never acted on his feelings is because he feels weird about it since Sylvia and Jack have a child together, but Jack assures him they're just friends and they don't have any romantic feelings toward each other and he just wants Peter to be happy and encourages Peter to act on his feelings for Sylvia and blah, blah, blah. </p><p>The night before the wedding, Peter decides he's going to sneak into Miss Lomax's office at Pileforth Academy to prove that Mary is being sent there later that year. While he's there, he hears Elspeth coming in, so he has to hide in this huge closet, but she finds him and thinks he has come to profess his love for her or something. She get pretty aggressive and chases him around the office, but he just straight up tells he's not interested in her like that and she easily accepts it. Peter has found proof that Mary will be attending the school soon. The audience already knows that because there was an earlier scene where Edward yells at Mary for goofing around with the butler and yells at her to go to room and adds that she'll learn manners when she's at boarding school.</p><p>I can't remember exactly what happens, but Peter isn't able to make it back to Edward's estate that night because his car breaks down and I think he spends the night in his car. The next morning, which is also the day of the wedding, he sees Elspeth in her car (probably on her way to the wedding) and flags her down and she gives him a ride. Wow, she sure takes rejection well! She thinks she knows a short cut, but her car ends up in a mud-filled pond and they end up taking one of those vehicles with a little car attached to it.</p><p>During the preparations for the wedding, Michael and Jack are doing everything they can to stall the ceremony until Peter can get there. Michael is distracting the vicar, sending him to the wrong church. </p><p>The night before, before Peter had snuck out to Pileforth, he had told Mary that he loves her mom and Mary tells this to her mother as they're both in a horse carriage on their way to the wedding. After she says this, Sylvia just pats her head, but wouldn't she have more questions. Isn't this what she's been waiting for Peter to say? </p><p>So their actual vicar may be on a wild goose chase, but that's okay because someone else has stepped in. It is Jack, the actor of the group, in old age make up and fake teeth and an old man voice. It is so obvious that it's Ted Danson in a disguise, but nobody knows it's him (well, except for Michael who's in on the ploy with him), not even Mary or Sylvia, who, also as an actor, would realize what was going on. Also, she's lived with this man for the last six years and doesn't know who it is? Mary, I can kind of understand because she's young. What's Sylvia's excuse? </p><p>So Jack performs the ceremony, stalling at any moment he can, but there's still no sign of Peter. He gets to the moment where he asks if anyone can think of any reason why these two shouldn't be together and thinks he sees a woman in the back raising her hand, but its just the really tall hat she's wearing. Finally, he has to pronounce them husband and wife and Sylvia and Edward kiss, thinking they're both married. </p><p>Now, Peter has arrived and proclaims his love for Sylvia. This movie actually reminded me <i>Made of Honor </i>(which I know came out many years after this one) when Patrick Dempsey is attending Michelle Monaghan's wedding in Scotland and he's in love with her, so he rides a horse to the church to stop the wedding. Heh, I wonder if that movie was inspired by this one. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjjaOpjrqqDfRu6jP8tDTew-BWuwiVc_zC836HizRA7ksUrEp2BZsa34dWStmE_2_qWXrxqKJsQ18jdwpA8lDSeuudRGVux5uhc65FKOVsL2pjVrDr1Viv8wW6v5ip2RlIl2yb6WxIAmvZXTr8kPyXeN3YP4IOHTQ-y9NL9F4bS3ZJkKtyOdX2KiRnkbI4" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="589" data-original-width="1057" height="111" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjjaOpjrqqDfRu6jP8tDTew-BWuwiVc_zC836HizRA7ksUrEp2BZsa34dWStmE_2_qWXrxqKJsQ18jdwpA8lDSeuudRGVux5uhc65FKOVsL2pjVrDr1Viv8wW6v5ip2RlIl2yb6WxIAmvZXTr8kPyXeN3YP4IOHTQ-y9NL9F4bS3ZJkKtyOdX2KiRnkbI4=w200-h111" width="200" /></a></div>So Peter professes his love to Sylvia, but Edward is like, Too late pal, we're already married, and this is when Jack reveals he was the vicar, taking off his wig and old age make up and everyone is just so shocked! And since Jack isn't a real vicar, the marriage isn't official, so Edward and Sylvia are NOT married. Peter also proves that Edward was going to send Mary away to boarding school as soon as possible and Sylvia wants to make sure Peter wants to marry her because he loves her and not for Mary's sake and Peter assures her he loves her. I'm still not sure when this romance bloomed; I guess it was off screen when they were living together for the last five years and we're just supposed to believe they fell in love with each other. <p></p><p>So then end up together and the movie ends with the song "Waiting For a Star to Fall", which, I'm not gonna lie, I totally love.</p><p>I presume that either Peter, Sylvia, and Mary moved out or Peter kicked out Jack and Michael. Heh, I feel just the tiniest bit sorry for Michael because now Jack is Marys' biological father and Peter is her stepfather and he's just...there. </p><p>I heard they were supposed to make this into a trilogy with the third movie being called <i>Three Men and a Bride </i>with Mary getting married, but it never took off. I wonder who would have played Mary in that one since the young actress in this one never really did anything else as a teen or an adult. That was back in 2010 when they were talking about it, so I doubt it's ever going to happen. </p>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-39398170578160052382023-09-13T21:47:00.000-05:002023-09-13T21:47:02.891-05:00More Clues <div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Missing</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Directors: Will Merrick and Nick Johnson</div><div style="text-align: left;">Cast: Storm Reid, Nia Long, Ken Leung, Joaquim de Almeida</div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: January 20, 2023</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgXbWCLwkPxJqxwKmGnCTkEPpYKV9Y5lcECmC0XIGMWkPZqZeMsn1jDNZK-SjZw45ZmwO0xqpXra_9YRMWz7e6Dxp1yEqG-GJzo6AcxQ2MUytElO1_iaO6oRxu6SkBaT1MsxnVTTa1CRW6s51XfWcXJFOpnt2YutSY14k7remUwd5o8fQUprr7hLWJ9wL8" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="425" data-original-width="640" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgXbWCLwkPxJqxwKmGnCTkEPpYKV9Y5lcECmC0XIGMWkPZqZeMsn1jDNZK-SjZw45ZmwO0xqpXra_9YRMWz7e6Dxp1yEqG-GJzo6AcxQ2MUytElO1_iaO6oRxu6SkBaT1MsxnVTTa1CRW6s51XfWcXJFOpnt2YutSY14k7remUwd5o8fQUprr7hLWJ9wL8=w400-h266" width="400" /></a></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">This movie is set in the same universe as <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2019/03/clues.html">Searching</a> and I will forever be getting them mixed-up! They each could be called either title as they're both movies about people who are missing and loved ones searching for said missing person. In <i>Searching</i>, the missing person was a teenage girl and her dad was searching for her; in <i>Missing,</i> a teenage girl is the one searching for her missing mother. Both movies also follow the same format of being told through screens: laptops, iPhones, security cameras, etc. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">This movie is definitely better viewed at home where you can pause it rather than watching it in a movie theater. There's just so many texts, e-mails, posts, etc. that sometimes I had to pause the screen to read everything. Now some of them are important to the movie, and some of them are just fun little asides. When I watched the movie a second time, I was often pausing it to make sure I caught everything. </div><p>It's going to be hard to write the movie without spoilers, so I will tell you when I get to anything spoiler-y, but it would probably be best to watch it before reading this if you don't want to be spoiled about anything! It is also not necessary to watch <i>Searching</i> to know what's going on. They're set in the same universe, but the stories have nothing to do with each other. </p><p>Our protagonist is an eighteen-year-old girl named June (Storm Reid) who easily gets annoyed with her mom, Grace (Nia Long) and basically thinks she treats her like a baby. We get some backstory when the movie starts with a video clip from 2008 where we see a toddler-aged June with her father at "grandpa's house." We're barely five minutes into the movie, but right away, I'm like, I bet it's the dad! I bet he's behind it! Grace comes in the room just when young June notices her father's nose starts to bleed and he claims it's because of the altitude. The video stops and we see that someone is trimming it and making it into a file called "Last family trip". After seeing bookmarked pages such as "brain tumors and aneurysms" and "Helping Your Child Process Grief", it is clear that June's father is dead and there goes my theory about him being behind this whole thing. Obviously this is Grace's computer and we also see her delete her Google account and that they have moved from San Antonio to Los Angeles. </p><p>Cut to the current day and we see teen June is watching a Netflix series called <i>Unfiction</i> (what a terrible name) about true crime cases that have been made into one-hour drama shows. We see she is watching episode 3, titled "The Disappearance of Margot Kim" which is a nice tie-in to <i>Searching</i>. When watching this the second time, I paused my own screen and saw that June had a site pulled up called "Fact vs. Fiction in<i> Unficiton</i>." One of the "facts" says "Real David Kim is [fire emoji]". (Uh, isn't that an opinion?) "Anyone else thinks he looks like that actor from <i>Breakout </i>(2020)?? So I thought this was a John Cho Easter egg, but when I looked at him filmography, he's not in anything from 2020 called<i> Breakout</i>, so I don't get it. The article also talks about how Debbie Massey is the actress who portrays Detective Rosemary Vick which is an obvious nod to Debra messing. Yeah, so it's a fun little moment of the movie if you've seen <i>Searching</i>.</p><p>There is some foreshadowing when June pauses the movie and we see a summary of the episode which reads "After his 16-year-old daughter goes missing, a desperate father breaks into her laptop to look for clues to find her" and this is what June will do when her mom goes missing. Perhaps she was inspired by this faux Netflix series?</p><p>But before her mom goes missing, the movie sets up a few things: Grace is always using Siri for everything and it annoys June greatly; Grace calls June "Junebug" and it annoys June greatly; and Grace is always asking June to clear her voicemails in case she needs to leave a message. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhbNTIvy8Vpyh2xIYRiHBHtg4AGDSVXeVCgRPj091roA7ID07kStbKlQWJL1bV52uHH4dIOc92XbTEo9I1BHgyyn-_WtpS2g8McCQCft4XzH9pybiusS4eTfYnl11ZXmY5twv-gQqPTcOSR3A9XjD5qtrtPbgNILRXWj5AIonj_NT5jG5l5pMbLX0TLi60" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="623" data-original-width="971" height="128" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhbNTIvy8Vpyh2xIYRiHBHtg4AGDSVXeVCgRPj091roA7ID07kStbKlQWJL1bV52uHH4dIOc92XbTEo9I1BHgyyn-_WtpS2g8McCQCft4XzH9pybiusS4eTfYnl11ZXmY5twv-gQqPTcOSR3A9XjD5qtrtPbgNILRXWj5AIonj_NT5jG5l5pMbLX0TLi60=w200-h128" width="200" /></a></div>Grace has a new boyfriend named Kevin (Ken Leung) and they're going to Cartagena, Colombia together. I don't know, if I were going away together for the first time with someone, I might make it a lot more local. June will be staying by herself, but the overprotective Grace has left a key with her friend and lawyer, Heather, and tells her daughter she's supposed to call Heather if she needs anything. We get some more foreshadowing when Grace tells June, "Do not open the door for strangers. Keep your location service turned on the entire time I'm away." After arguing with her mom about Heather being a "baby-sitter", Grace tells her, "You do not understand the sacrifices I made to get you the life that you have." You think its just a throw-away line, but it's actually not. When you watch the movie a second time, it makes you go, "Aha! I totally get why she said that now!" <p></p><p>Because of the way this movie is shot, June's laptop camera is always on so we can always see footage if she's talking to anyone in the same room. I don't know how realistic this is, but I guess it's needed for the movie. We see Kevin is there the day of the trip and he tells Grace that he loves her mom and that he planned this trip for a "very special reason", but before he can say anything more, Grace appears and he stops talking. It is June 11th and they will be coming back on the 20th. June is supposed to pick them up at the airport.</p><p>During the next week, we get a montage of June partying with her friends and she receives texts and photos from her mom and Kevin. They are both using Kevin's phone because she tells June that her texts aren't going through. This is another thing that makes more sense when you're watching it the second time. This is defiantly a movie that benefits from watching a second time! </p><p>The day before she's supposed to pick up her mom and Kevin at LAX, she has a party at her house. Is she that stupid or did she just forget? The movie explains she's sad because it's Fathers Day and she never got to know her dad and she's having a party to forget about her sad feelings, but you would think she wouldn't have the party at her own house. </p><p>Of course her laptop camera is left on, so you're seeing the party. I still don't buy that people leave their cameras on for absolutely no reason, but they need to give us exposition and foreshadowing, like when we see one of the guests asking people if they've seen his Smartwatch. Believe it or not, this SmartWatch will come back later in the movie. </p><p>Her alarm goes off at eleven the next day and when she signs on to her laptop, she gets a notification about picking up her mom at eleven. Oh, dear. She's already way late. And I don't even know how far the airport is from where she lives, but I'm guessing it's not a simple five-minute drive! And to make matters worse, her house is a MESS. Her mom is gonna be so pissed. And I'm sure from the nightmare June will soon endure, she would rather deal with a pissed-off mother than a missing one! </p><p>June goes to TaskRabbit and hires somebody to clean up for her. She writes, "Key's under the mat. Please don't steal anything haha". I love that she added that "haha"; also I wouldn't trust some rand-o to clean my place, especially if I were gone. Luckily, her mom gave her some emergency money (probably not the kind of emergency she had in mind) so she's able to pay with that. </p><p>When she arrives at the airport, her phone camera is on and thats where we're viewing her from, but c'mon, who leaves their camera on like that? She's gonna waste the battery. I once accidentally had my camera on and was so annoyed because my battery was way low.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgzjtWnbslXSBseU4SAswv2oqvLPyrjY4JfgETyw_fH7MvV2VrU715iZu4339Ctj0fhv46ZJId9hdYu4AqTskeJbswq83bhiaFSIeim5v9mU7W0ndFuXqQSQON_1uqxi6wNmBCHzJaEiuod-J7BtSM-HSzuTdk_mlA6m1iQWN_JVqXKcvDoUmtSwYd67u8" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1920" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgzjtWnbslXSBseU4SAswv2oqvLPyrjY4JfgETyw_fH7MvV2VrU715iZu4339Ctj0fhv46ZJId9hdYu4AqTskeJbswq83bhiaFSIeim5v9mU7W0ndFuXqQSQON_1uqxi6wNmBCHzJaEiuod-J7BtSM-HSzuTdk_mlA6m1iQWN_JVqXKcvDoUmtSwYd67u8=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div>She waits and waits, but there is no sign of her mom or Kevin. (Are you surprised?) She calls and texts her mom, but gets no replies. When she tries to FaceTime her, she gets a "FaceTime unavailable" message. She returns home, dejected, but I have to say she does some smart things. The first thing she does is call the hotel where her mom staying. The man she speaks with doesn't know any English, so June pulls up good old Google translate. I don't know how she could translate what he was saying. He does slow down when sh asks, "Que?" She must have a better ear for foreign languages than I do. I'm terrible with understanding a foreign language when it's spoken to me, but I can read it well enough. Of course, this is only if I know a fair amount of a foreign language and in this case, it's French for me. Heh, I was in Quebec City recently and when I was at the reception desk at the hotel, the first thing out of my mouth was, "Parlez-vous anglais?" But, anyway, through what the guy is telling her and Google translate, she finds out that her mom and Kevin left their suitcases at the hotel and nobody saw them leave. She's looking at the Google Maps Street View image of this hotel and sees cameras and ask if he can check them out, but in order to do that, she would need to go in person. He tells her the footage is reordered over every 48 hours. I don't know if this is an actual law, but you would think if this young girl's mom is missing and she's in another country, they could make an exception for her to check out the video (spoiler alert: even though June will eventually get someone to get the tape, it will have been too late by then). <p></p><p>Even though she is upset, she seems to be pretty calm during this whole thing. She's not missing a beat, doing all the necessary things. She calls Heather who calls the U.S. Embassy in Colombia, but they're closed. They need to fill out a report and the embassy will call them tomorrow when they open. So June does that and the next morning she gets a call from the embassy. While on the phone, asking about the security tapes, she gets a reply back from the missing persons form she filled out saying they are not able to process it because she was missing a signature. That's gotta be so infuriating! </p><p>At this point, they have six hours left before the security cameras override. Detective Park, the detective she's been talking to, tells her the "FBI doesn't have jurisdiction to investigate in Colombia, so it may take some time while [they] work with local authorities." This is another thing that's gotta be infuriating. A woman is missing and this hotel is the last known place her daughter knows where she was...they can't break the rules a little to review the tapes to see if they can find any clues to her whereabouts? </p><p>The detective asks her questions about her mom like if she said or did anything unusual, but June can't think of anything. She tries to get into her mom's Google account, but the passwords she tries don't work. After updating her friend on what's going on, her friend suggests she check out live cameras in Cartagena. She flips through touristy spots and apparently you can go back and look at videos from a previous day. That seems kind of pointless to watch a "live" stream from days ago, but it will play a part in the movie later on. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgBsHnjkYXnvtzCq3DJwgq0-hC_wKzkfpD9qNHX5PuYxB_Tn4e5dbUHQhcD_sGTWk_lZE-feju1LOt9wsFNQ2rXU8OqjyCB_iTqV7mjCCSKVS4Q6rVH3QvCsX7MjYqwRbbGcDmtoEySlvWFTB6CivNsQz4RgqXVEmE7a93C0lMCoV-WSFv5nVFl8hPgjcU" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1594" data-original-width="2876" height="111" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgBsHnjkYXnvtzCq3DJwgq0-hC_wKzkfpD9qNHX5PuYxB_Tn4e5dbUHQhcD_sGTWk_lZE-feju1LOt9wsFNQ2rXU8OqjyCB_iTqV7mjCCSKVS4Q6rVH3QvCsX7MjYqwRbbGcDmtoEySlvWFTB6CivNsQz4RgqXVEmE7a93C0lMCoV-WSFv5nVFl8hPgjcU=w200-h111" width="200" /></a></div>She decides to see if she can hire someone in Colombia so they can get the security footage and through GoNinja, which is Colombia's equivalent to TaskRabbit, she hires Javier (Joaquim de Almeida). She doesn't have much money left in her emergency fund and at $8 an hour, Javier is about the only one she can afford. He only has a rating of 2.8<br /> out of five stars and one of the reviews we see made me laugh: "It took five hours to get my tacos, but Javi's a nice guy." <p></p><p>So it was bugging me when we meet Javi because he looked so familiar. He reminded me of Geoffrey Rush and I remember thinking this of an actor awhile ago and when I looked at his IMDb, I go, "Ohhhh! It's Salazar!" If you watched season 3 of <i>24</i>, you know what I'm talking about! </p><p>Even though he doesn't do what she's asking of him, he agrees to help her. He gives her the idea to try to get into Kevin's phone since she can't get into her mom's phone. The only problem is how is she going to figure out Kevin's past word? Well, luckily, her friend has come over to help. She can imitate a good deep voice, so they call Kevin's professional website and she pretends to be him and act like "he" lost "his" password. She needs to verify a few thing such as Kevin's date of birth and his mother's maiden name, which is easy enough to find on his Facebook. They also need the name of his elementary school and that proves to be a bit more difficult since it's not on his Facebook profile (I mean, why would it be?) So June quickly googles the name of the town he grew up in (luckily he had that listed) and there are two elementary schools there, so she has a fifty/fifty shot of getting it right, and of course she does. </p><p>Once June gets into Kevin's Google account, she looks at his location history and notices he has none for June 12, which I think is the day they left for Colombia. </p><p>Javi call back to tell her the footage is gone. What a surprise! He talked to the cleaning lady who said she saw two American tourists leave on Friday. They were dressed up and she asks them where they were going and Kevin tells they're going to a hardware store. June looks up Kevins credit card history ( luckily he uses the same password for everything.) When she does that, we get an amusing and very relatable (at least for me!) moment where she hesitates for a second when she's supposed to select all the images with a bus in it. There's one square with the tiniest piece of the bus and she's not sure if she should select it or not. This scenario has happened to me so many times and it's so aggravating when you don't get it right and you have to do it again! </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhPoTuDHhAlSdXlkzJua5WKmp5c8ePYQAlilP3zsGuihTSKzY_p7AsMbqI57nm1LKsoj_Vy-5Fe3PiZYrsCSXa8DFxmxqtAkhtTKwBVDhLVsQi9mA6c-xs6Cby58Yd6AGoZQ0vIMHemidjXFi_dYji6GnQlWyJaUuCIoTzohlAZ_2iTpd6_RlSCroBLsME" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="2560" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhPoTuDHhAlSdXlkzJua5WKmp5c8ePYQAlilP3zsGuihTSKzY_p7AsMbqI57nm1LKsoj_Vy-5Fe3PiZYrsCSXa8DFxmxqtAkhtTKwBVDhLVsQi9mA6c-xs6Cby58Yd6AGoZQ0vIMHemidjXFi_dYji6GnQlWyJaUuCIoTzohlAZ_2iTpd6_RlSCroBLsME=w200-h113" width="200" /></a></div>The only thing on his bank statement from that day is he bought something from Getsemani, which Javi informs her is the name of an area of Cartagena, not a store. (Why wouldn't the store be listed? That seems weird, but I guess it's just for the plot of the movie). She finds all the hardware stores in this location and sends Javi a list of them for him to investigate. When he doe find it later, he will find out that Kevin had bought a lock. <p></p><p>She next goes through Kevin's emails where she sees one about a security system camera being on its way. This will come back later, but right now she pays no mind to it. She does find an incriminating e-mail where a woman with the username "BunnyCakes310" sent a "sexy pic" to him and he replied with, "You're literally perfect. I'll call you tonight." Her friend gets the idea for June to check his blocked contacts since that's what they do on <i>Unfiction.</i> Honestly, what would they do without that show as a reference guide? </p><p>She finds 27 blocked contacts and there are messages from those people where each one is calling him a different name and it seems he was scamming them and taking their money. After doing some research, she finds out that Kevin Lin is indeed his real name and he was sent to Eastham Federal Penitentiary for 3 years and was released last year. June mentions this to Detective Park who already was aware this. They don't think he's conncected because "he's never been involved in a disappearance" and he's using his real name. Uh, he was the last known person they know she was with and there's a first time for everything! At least he tells her they are looking for him. Park tells her that all the scams he did were before he went to prison and he's never violated his parole. </p><p>June tries to get more information about "BunnyCakes" and goes to her Instagram (she uses the same username) and sees he real name is Rachel and she is an actress and a bartender. She sees a picture of the bar she works at and calls them, but they haven't seen her for two weeks. I would be a little concerned if I hadn't seen a co-worker in that long and they hadn't taken time off. The guy sounds more irritated than worried, but he admits it's not out of character for her. How the hell does this woman still have a job there if she's always bailing on them? Not surprisingly, June sees that Kevin has frequented this bar often. </p><p>There's also another place he's frequented, but it just gives coordinates. She figures out it is five hours from her home and the address is in Mountain Springs, Nevada and is listed as a "private residence." She is able to see the owner is "Jim W." and finds the number to call it. June tells this Jim guy she's calling about Kevin Lin and is pretty accusatory when she asks him why Kevin was at his house. We find out that "it's a reentry program for ex-offenders" and he was paired with him. June puts "Jimmy" in her contacts. It really makes no sense why she would keep this random guy in her contacts, but it does come back later, so it's done for the plot. Also, I guess you want to cover all your bases and keep in contact with anyone who has had any contact with Kevin recently. </p><p>June realizes she doesn't know how her mom met Kevin (that seems surprising to me), so she searches her mom's names in Kevin's emails and this is how she finds out that they met through a dating app called Luvly where you can send video messages or written messages to the other person. Video messages seem like to much work to me, but this is coming from someone who hardly ever uses FaceTime. You have to make sure you look attractive, you might have to do several takes until you get your message just right, etc. But I get why they did it for the movie: it's just more cinematic for one thing. There are some long messages they leave for each other and having to read them wouldn't be the best way to get that across to the audience. June is able to read and watch all the videos they sent to each other. If I had a single parent, I sure wouldn't want to read/watch videos they were exchanging with someone they met on a dating site. That has got to be the most awkward thing. Luckily nothing is too scarring or scandalous! She sees this first started three months ago. Kevin sent her a video message asking who her favorite '80s band is on 10/23, then sends her a "just checking in" text on 10/25, and sends another video on 10/29 and admits a third message is lame. He sure is persistent! She does eventually send a message back and they strike up a conversation. </p><p>June goes through their messages. They start off light, but get serious as Grace tells him how difficult it can be to a mother and how she worries about June. We see a text in March where Grace asks if she can call Kevin because there's sonething she wants to talk about with him. The next day, we see a text where she tells him "thanks for listening last night" and she's "only ever told one other person about [her] past." and "this has to stay between [them]". Now this possibly couldn't have anything to do with her mysterious disappearance! Even though we have no idea (at this point) what she told him, it doesn't seem like the smartest idea to tell someone you just met something that's obviously very important. But I guess they're just trying to convey that she trusts him.</p><p>We see a video message from Kevin telling her about his past, but June already knows about that.</p><p>June looks up romantic destinations in Cartagena and finds the Walled City Love Lock Bridge which would make sense with the lock Kevin bought. She tells Javi about it and he finds a lock with their initials on it. He seems to find it in five seconds, but there's no way it was quick because there must be thousands of locks on the bridge. Wasn't this an <i>Amazing Race </i>task one season where someone from each team had to find a specific lock? </p><p>June finds the bridge's camera from the day her mom and Kevin were there. I still don't understand why they would keep that, but again, we need it for the movie. She sees Kevin propose to her mom on the bridge. If anyone proposed to me on a crowded bridge full of tourists, I would be so pissed. But everyone around them is clapping. I've never seen a public proposal (thank God), but I honestly could care less about two people I've never met getting engaged. </p><p>We get a huge lead when Agent Park calls June to tell her they found footage of her mom and Kevin being kidnapped in broad daylight by masked men who put them into a white van. Park thinks they just want money because they "flagged a withdrawal from [Grace's] bank to an encrypted third party account." Who kidnaps somebody in broad daylight? Though this is South America, I suppose. They received this footage from "an anonymous source." </p><p>Something tells June to go back to look at all the pictures Kevin's sent her and while scrolling through them, she notices she never actually sees her mom's face. All the photos are live, so when she activates ones of them, she sees the woman's face and it is definitely not her mom, but rather Rachel Page's (aka BunnyCake) face. She figures Kevin hired Rachel to impersonate her mom, but why? </p><p>The whole movies shifts and now the FBI believes Grace never left L.A. They think that whatever happened, happened on the drive to LAX. Kevin and Grace took an Uber to the airport, but Uber has no record of the trip and the car was using stolen plates. They're trying to find Kevin in Colombia because they know he's the one person who knows what's going on.</p><p>Rachel is found and she tells journalists that Kevin told her it was a reality show shot on an iPhone. (Yeah this all happens really quickly!) She says after the "kidnapping" scene she knew something was up, so she made a run for it. Uh, smart move! She cooperates with police and tells them when and where Kevin picked her up and when they check traffic cameras, they see her getting in the car, but Grace wasn't there. </p><p>Detective Park asks June if her mom has gone by any other names, but she tells him no. This is asked because it's been found out that Grace Allen is an alias and that her "real identity lies locked behind a court-ordered seal." June asks Heather (remember, she's her mom's lawyer) if she can do anything, but Heather tells her it would "take at least a week to get a judge to lift it" and adds that she knew nothing about this either. </p><p>This story is all over social media and everyone thinks that Grace staged this and ran away, making June upset and she goes on a rampage of down voting comments or reporting them. I don't even know why she's wasting her time reading these comments, but it's probably just supposed to represent, like no more than ten minutes (hopefully!) </p><p>She does some more sleuthing and discovers through Kevin's google history that he downloaded an encrypted text message program that have the messages disappear after they have been read. I like how the movie takes it time with June finding it, it does't happen in two seconds. She downloads it and types in Kevin's email and password, but the password doesn't work, but all she has to do is reset it. She sees that a message has been sent ten hours ago: "What did you tell June?" There is a reply from "NewUser": "I promise I didn't tell her anything. She still does't know." </p><p>June types a message to NewUser, "Who is this?", but before she sends it, she changes her mind and types, "Are you home?" Smart move since she's on Kevin's log-in and that would raise red flags. She gets a reply that says, "Still at work. Is something wrong?" June, as Kevin, tells the person that "he" lost "his" phone and needs the number. After June gets the number, she cross references it and -plot twist - the number matches the lawyer's! At first, I was sure the lawyer was behind it, but she's kind of the equivalent of the Debra Messing character from <i>Searching</i> and I don't think they would have the same archetype be the culprit. Also, we will find out it was definitely not Heather when June sneaks into her office (using the SmartWatch left at her party) to be the camera for the audience. While there, she finds there are files being deleted from the computer, and, most disturbing of all, she finds Heather's body. She learns from the detective that "based on the autopsy", Heather was killed minutes before she arrived. They sure do move fast in this movie! </p><p>We see the camera pan back and now somebody is watching June on THEIR computer (creepy!) and all of her files she has up are on their computer, so somehow this unknown mystery person has a way of hacking into her account The unknown person gets a message from Kevin telling the mystery person (well to us, I'm pretty sure Kevin knows who he's communicating with!) that he needs help getting out of Colombia and that he "planned all of this just so no one would suspect YOU" and "you couldn't have done this without me." Okay, so now it's confirmed that Kevin was in on this whole thing from the start. The mystery person don't care! </p><p>Kevin won't be long for our story as June watches live footage of the police capturing him in Colombia. Well, shooting him dead would be more accurate because that's what happens, even though he puts his hands up in surrender, so I don't know why they shot him. </p><p>Now that the last hope for finding Grace alive has faded, June is inconsolable, listening to voicemails from her mom as she cries. She realizes that her mom (as always) calls her "Junebug" at the start of every message and tries her mom's Google password again, this time with "Junebug" and it works. You think she would have tried that already because she was aware that her mom always calls her that, even though she hates it. I mean, it's honestly kind of dumb she didn't think of it before. </p><p>She sees her mom has one blocked user and it's from one year ago with a message titled, "Found you Grace". When June clicks to read it, the message says, "She deserves to know." She brings up Kevin's Google account and notices he also has had contact with this same person who's email is "VMyQe12" - that's gotta be the worst email in history, right? Anyway, she notices that the security cameras she saw from Kevin's email and that he bought the cameras for this person. She signs onto the site and sees the different angles of the security camera set up around some random house in the middle of nowhere, it seems. She recognizes a room as the one from the last video of her and her dad before he died.</p><p>This might be a good time to put up a spoiler waring. I would definitely recommend to watch the movie before reading any of this, but this is when we're about to go into huge spoiler territory so read at your own risk. <span style="font-size: x-large;">MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!!!!</span></p><p>At this moment "Jimmy" makes another appearance when he calls June, asking her if she's safe and if all the doors are locked. He tells her there's a lot to explain, but he doesn't know if anybody is listening and he doesn't know who to trust. This should be sending up huge red flags for her. She hears a car door slam and on the ring motion detector, she sees Jimmy (who told her it was him) coming up to her door. How the hell did he get there so fast? She tells him she's going to call the police, but he uncover his head and reveals it's...wait for it...her dad. I should mention that her dad's name is James, so he's just going by a nickname of his own name. This guy is not the most stealthy. </p><p>It was at this moment that I knew he was behind this whole thing and I was kicking myself for believing he was actually dead this whole time! Remember, when I first saw him in the first five minutes of the movie, I thought he was the one behind the whole thing, but after the movie told us he was dead, I just sort of accepted it, but all along I was right on who did it all along! </p><p>June still isn't sure if she should open the door. When I watched this movie a second time, Grace's command about not opening the door to strangers stuck out to me. I'm internally willing June to NOT open the door, but technically, this man is not a stranger to June as it is her own father, but she hasn't seen him since she was three or four, so how does she know if she can really trust him? (Spoiler alert (even though I've already put up the spoiler warning): she can't!) </p><p>From behind the door, he tells her she deserves to know what happened and this prompts her to open the door. Maybe she should have gotten a little more information before she let him in? But once he's inside, he tells her his side of the story: that when she was little, he and her mom fought all the time and she never let him take care of June. We also find out her real name is Sarah, so that explains her identity being locked behind a court-ordered seal. He tells June that she doesn't know what her mother is "capable of" and that "she lied to a judge to have [him] put in prison." He then makes the stupid mistake of revealing that he was in Eastham for 12 years and June is quick to put the pieces together and realizes that's where he met Kevin and she knows something fishy is going on. I do wonder if he hadn't mentioned where he was in prison, if she would have believed him. I would hope not! Even though he is her father, she doesn't really know him and shouldn't trust him over her mother. Yes, obviously her mother lied to her about him being dead, but we will soon get the explanation. </p><p>When June questions him being in Eastham, this is when he realizes he's made a mistake. Her FaceTime chimes a few seconds later and June can see it's her friend calling. They both pause for a a few seconds, then she runs to accept the call, but he is quicker and declines. He then takes a struggling June to his car and basically kidnaps her. </p><p>Now we get the real story: her dad was abusive to her mom and she was looking for ways to leave him. He was also a drug user and that was the reason for his bloody nose in the video. Grace found hard-core drugs in the closet and reported them to the police and that's how he ended up in prison. He threatens Grace that he will find her and pretty much implies that he will kill her. This is how Heather, who we find out is with domestic violence and family law, becomes involved in her case and is pretty much the only one who knows Grace's real backstory. As we know, Grace is her new identity and she and her daughter move states as a result of this. There are hints of Grace wanting to tell June the truth, but she can never seem to get through to her daughter. Also, that must have been what she told Kevin (who it turns out she couldn't trust at all!) over the phone while they were talking on that dating app.</p><p>So June ends up tied up in a chair in a room that she recognizes as the one from the last video of her and her dad. Obviously, we're watching everything through the security cameras that are set up around this property. James goes to a shed, where, not surprisingly, Grace is being held. After finding out he has June, she hits him with something (I think she was restrained, but was able to get free) and runs to the house where she finds June and unties her. She tells June to call the police but June says her phone is at home (which makes sense...don't think her kidnapper would allow her to have a phone!) She does still have her Apple Watch and uses it to contact Javi. (Random sidetone: I didn't capitalize either letter of "Apple Watch" and it automatically did it for me, of course it did cause I'm writing this on a MacBook!...also didn't capitalize MacBook and it automatically did it for me.) She asks Javi to go on her Instagram and find the picture of her and her dad when she was younger that was taken outside the house. He repeats the house numbers for her when she asks him for them. Just as she's about to tell him to call the police, the line is disconnected. Her dad comes in the room, asking her if she made any calls, but she denies doing so. He knows she has a watch because he saw her using it on the monitor. He wants June to go with him, but Grace begs him not to take her. After a few more attempts of this and Grace still getting in his way to take their daughter, he shoots her in the leg and she collapses again a wall, breaking a mirror. While James grabs June and starts restraining her, Grace gets up and stabs him in the neck with a piece of broken glass. He manages to stagger out of the room, but dies while trying to type "hospital nearby" at his computer. </p><p>I wonder what his plan was. I assume he planned to take June, hoping she would believe his story about her mom being the bad guy in the story he told her and make her believe that her mom left her while he killed her, but once June realized he was behind her mother's abduction, was he going to kill both of them? </p><p>I guess the message to call 911 didn't get across to Javi and June gets the idea to look into the camera (which she knows is spying on her own computer at home, where her phone is right next to) and says, "Siri, call 911". The inspiration comes from her mother who uses Siri for everything. The police come and they are rescued and June and her mother have a much better relationship now. </p><p>Their story is made into an episode for <i>Unfiction </i>and there's a cute moment where Grace tells June that she has friended Javi on Facebook. </p>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-46854482228238122272023-08-09T16:17:00.006-05:002023-09-21T16:25:27.597-05:00Retirement in Outer Space<div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Cocoon: The Return</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Director: Daniel Petrie </div><div style="text-align: left;">Cast: Wilford Brimley, Don Ameche, Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Jack Gilford, Steve Guttenberg, Courteney Cox, Maureen Stapleton, Gwen Verdon, Tahnee Welch, Elaine Stritch</div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: November 23, 1988</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhmSAcqI24bV5GJ2JJQy7_Mo10t9Tov8Y75xHQAmriuqmYP3-Cts_VpTz1bmp8py7WQvI_rfkKvCByS8L1sQgDKLgDbLGd8DK5QUq2BKoscUyJOmuQooAawhBuV8yTxd-O68_hPI3maqpCKs5mozqqvsnd-f4OErzETW51aBkmkRLRJ6HidiSL7HUyEtVM" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="660" data-original-width="1000" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhmSAcqI24bV5GJ2JJQy7_Mo10t9Tov8Y75xHQAmriuqmYP3-Cts_VpTz1bmp8py7WQvI_rfkKvCByS8L1sQgDKLgDbLGd8DK5QUq2BKoscUyJOmuQooAawhBuV8yTxd-O68_hPI3maqpCKs5mozqqvsnd-f4OErzETW51aBkmkRLRJ6HidiSL7HUyEtVM=w400-h264" width="400" /></a></div><br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">When I reviewed <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2016/08/pool-of-rejuvenation.html">Cocoon</a> seven years ago, I briefly mentioned its sequel. I sort of spoiled a major plot point of that movie and I would feel bad about that, except for that fact that a) this movie is over 30 years old, and b) this movie is pretty bad and unnecessary. Don't get me wrong. I love the first movie just for the nostolgia of it, but it absolutely makes no sense there's a sequel. Even Ron Howard, who directed the first movie, thought it was unnecessary and pointless to have a sequel, thus the reason he didn't direct it. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Sure, it's fun to see the old (literally in this case!) gang back, but other than that, you're left wondering why the hell they're back.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Let's just get on with the review, shall we? First of all, even though this movie came out in 1988, it takes place in 1990. I guess they wanted it set five years after the original. I knew the first movie was set in <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2010/07/film-for-each-state.html">Florida</a> (heh, I just noticed that I have Jessica Tandy films representing Florida, Georgia, and Alabama and she's originally from England), but in the sequel I learn they're in St. Petersburg. They may have mentioned that in the first movie and I just forgot. It was filmed there as well, and my God, the water is absolutely stunning wherever they filmed a scene where they're at the beach...crystal blue waters that looks so inviting. Obviously the Gulf side is more picturesque than the Atlantic side. </div><p>This movie wants to quickly get to the point of having the senior citizens back on Earth. Just a quick recap of the first film (in case you don't want to read my review): Three elderly couples become friends with aliens who can disguise themselves as humans and they learn they're from a planet called Antarea where one never grows old, never gets sick, and never dies. Rivendell must be their sister city! They live in a retirement community called Sunny Shores and pretty much everyone who lives there ends up going to live in Antarea. I was always a little suspicious of Antarea and voiced it in my <i>Cocoon </i>review: </p><blockquote><p><span face="Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif" style="background-color: #fefdfa; caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51); color: #333333; font-size: 13px;">Seriously, would you go to another planet? You don't know what you're going to find when you get there. All these old people may be getting scammed! They're too naive! And even if where they were going did provide immortality, who would want to live forever? I feel like that would be more of a curse than a blessing.</span></p></blockquote><p>Well, luckily they never got scammed, although we never do see a second of Antarea (although it will be described (barely, though!) for us). At first, I was disappointed, but then I was kinda of relieved, because, let's be honest, it probably would have looked terrible. They didn't really have the technology in the late '80s to create a utopian planet. Anyway, besides David (the grandson of one of the couples) and a few other select people, everyone else thinks they were lost at sea and have been dead all this time. Including David's mom. </p><p>It always irked me that Ben and Mary (Wilford Brimley and Maureen Stapleton) boarded the spaceship because in the first movie it was established they were close with their grandson, David (especially Ben). Now I'm sure the others had family they were leaving behind, but we never really heard about them, so it didn't really both me as much that they left Earth. I just never bought it that Ben and Mary would leave their grandson (or the daughter...I assume David's mom was their kid and not his dad because we don't really see/hear from his dad). </p><p>So like I mentioned earlier, the movie just wants to jump right into the plot. And it does exactly that when we see David (probably 14/15, hell I don't know how old he's supposed to be!) in his room doing his homework while watching TV at the same time. His mom is downstairs and hears the TV and tells him to turn it off. He does, but it keeps coming on even after he keeps clicking it off. He gets up to inspect it and suddenly it turns to static before we see his grandpa telling him they're coming to visit because their friends have "some unfinished business to do there" so he and Grandma are hitching a ride. </p><p>Dear Lord, I have so many questions:</p><p>-Is this the first time Ben has communicated with his grandson this way? I honestly couldn't tell. David seemed a little surprised by seeing his grandpa, but not that surprised. I would think if this wasn't the first time, David would realize why the TV was acting up and wouldn't be banging on it and acting so confused. So his grandparents have been gone for five years and they just realized they could communicate with their grandson this way? What the hell have they been doing all this time? You think they would try some way to communicate with him after all this time. Hmm, I guess I only had one question. But you have to admit it was a pretty valid one! </p><p>Ben also tells David that he's going to have to tell his mom the truth which is pretty hilarious. "Uh, Mom, Grandpa and Grandma weren't "lost at sea". They actually boarded a spaceship with the other old people you thought were lost at sea and a couple of new aliens friends and flew to a planet called Antarea where they will spend the rest of eternity." I mean, I would be very concerned if I were this boy's mother! Sadly, we never get this scene where he tells her what actually happened, we just get a scene of her telling him that she doesn't believe him and that maybe he should talk to someone (i.e. she thinks he's crazy), but at least we get the rebuttal where David insists that they "really did go to another planet." He sounds so insane that I really don't blame his mom for not believing him. As they're talking, the doorbell rings and you know its gonna be the grandparents. I don't know how long it's been since David received the message from his grandpa, but in movie time, it's only been a few minutes. His mother answers the door and faints when she sees her parents. After this scene, we will never see her again. I didn't even bother to remember her name. I honestly don't even remember how much screen time she had in the first movie, but it had to be more than this! We never see her wake up after fainting and asking her parents question or anything. Is she just unconscious throughout the rest of the movie? </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj0E5UlFRcJMLFKOWCUWuA6rWnw0Kfm5x3IIW-x1mdIZDSskih824Pg6Jem48W4PpTnBHrBmTPfezIp2S7MjUqxfQhB_r7U-lIZvmw8dtSTlQEIG7Yy8iRojcSM5WpgPSuF5aWtqpC6tG_uWhl_ZM7HA_Adn211DaAJQ14fxE21ZS9CaXHhEorNxA_1ZCI" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="656" data-original-width="1000" height="131" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEj0E5UlFRcJMLFKOWCUWuA6rWnw0Kfm5x3IIW-x1mdIZDSskih824Pg6Jem48W4PpTnBHrBmTPfezIp2S7MjUqxfQhB_r7U-lIZvmw8dtSTlQEIG7Yy8iRojcSM5WpgPSuF5aWtqpC6tG_uWhl_ZM7HA_Adn211DaAJQ14fxE21ZS9CaXHhEorNxA_1ZCI=w200-h131" width="200" /></a></div>Well, I assume she must have woken up from fainting and we just never see her again because Ben and Mary don't seem at all concerned about her as the next morning they're making breakfast and dancing while the radio plays, "You Make Me Feel So Young". Also, there's some shameless promoting going on while the camera lingers on the radio which is next to a box of Quaker instant oatmeal. If you're old enough, you might remember Wilford Brimley as the spokesperson for Quaker Oats. Speaking of Wilford Brimley, I learned something that I never knew before. He was only 49 years old when he filmed the first movie. This blew my mind. To put it in perspective, here are the ages of the other actors when the first movie came out:<p></p><div style="text-align: left;">Don Ameche: 77</div><div style="text-align: left;">Hume Cronyn: 74</div><div style="text-align: left;">Jessica Tandy: 76</div><div style="text-align: left;">Gwen Verdon: 60 (To be fair, that's pretty young for a person to live in an assisted living residence, especially a vivacious one, such as her character, but it's still not 49!)</div><div style="text-align: left;">Maureen Stapleton: 60</div><div style="text-align: left;">Jack Gilford: 77</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I assume all the characters are suppose to be around the same age, probably mid-70s. I don't know, if I were 49, I would be a little insulted that I got cast to play a senior citizen in their 70s, ha! I guess this explains why Wilford Brimley was the last of the cast to die in 2020 when all the others passed away in the 90s or early '00s. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The natural born humans aren't the only ones to return to Earth, they have also come with Kitty (Tahnee Welch) and those two random guys who don't have any lines. Walter (the main alien guy from the first movie played by Brian Dennehy) isn't there, but he'll show up for a few minutes at the end. Remember, Kitty and the two guys are aliens, but they're disguised as humans. It's all very <i>Third Rock From the Sun</i>. Kitty is a very attractive human woman and Jack (Steve Guttenberg) is happy (and a little surprised) to see her at the marina where he works, giving tours on his glass bottom boat. At one point, we see him wear a shirt that says "My grandma saw the Lost Treasure of the Florida Keys and all I got was this stupid t-shirt" that he sells at his gift kiosk. This is about the only scene we see Jack wear a shirt too. It is blatantly hilarious how often we see Steve Guttenberg shirtless in this movie. Or at the very least, he's wearing a shirt, but it's unbuttoned. Yeah, they're in Florida and I could forgive them if he was swimming or something, but he's usually not! </div><p>Kitty tells Jack that they have come back because the cocoons are in danger and "The sensors that [they] left on the bottom of the ocean floor indicate seismic activity" so they have come to take their friends away. To tell you the truth, I don't even know why they have cocoons on another planet. I probably should have rewatched the first movie. I did read my review of the first movie, but didn't find any answers. So apparently this is the "unfinished business" Ben told his grandson about. Why did they even bring the old folks? They have four days to rescue their pod friends. So you're telling me they took a trip from outer space to Earth for only four days? I wouldn't go to Europe for only four days and that only takes, like, eight hours to fly there....not eight months (I'm just speculating how long it takes to fly from Antarea to Earth, but it wouldn't surprise me if that's how long this fictional journey took!) This has to be the worst travel plans ever. </p><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgxBJbyZbEqe4jzcBjQQoeuAiXu6YreSsiuzr1JyOYNPxNElM2wkY28zu5973KlI34yFUZfgNSOjAI_W_0fZUZRv5Ec8OGytjn5sDo9JtueW9q1sCOlhrKloR26cjkYJXWsIaotlDTu8zvQ6_bp49SQHIqpNOtDam1Gbs_wZ7jkXZcrBPUkAAIrfe-v87Q" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="240" data-original-width="320" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEgxBJbyZbEqe4jzcBjQQoeuAiXu6YreSsiuzr1JyOYNPxNElM2wkY28zu5973KlI34yFUZfgNSOjAI_W_0fZUZRv5Ec8OGytjn5sDo9JtueW9q1sCOlhrKloR26cjkYJXWsIaotlDTu8zvQ6_bp49SQHIqpNOtDam1Gbs_wZ7jkXZcrBPUkAAIrfe-v87Q=w200-h150" width="200" /></a></div>Now you may remember Bernie (Jack Gilford) as the only person of this old people friend group who did NOT get on the spaceship (smart man, in my opinion!) His wife died in the first movie and he still misses her terribly. Bernie is still at Sunny Shores even though I thought that place had closed down since all the other residents left to go to Antarea. But then again, they're in Florida and there is no shortage of senior citizens in Florida! After we see a scene of Bernie talking to his wife at her gravesite, he's in his room, attempting to hang himself, but it's not working. He hears a knock on his door right before he's going to step off the table and tells whoever is on the side to wait a minute, but once he realizes it's not his day to die, he just gives up with the suicide attempt and answers the door. And it's a good thing his suicide attempt didn't work because he finds his friends who he hasn't seen for the past five years and is thrilled to see them. This includes Art (Don Ameche), Joe (Hume Cronyn), Alma (Jessica Tandy), and Bess (Gwen Verdon). Joe and Alma are married (as were Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy were in real life....so cute!) and Art and Bess were a thing in the first movie and must have gotten married while in Antarea....or maybe they got married in the first movie and I don't remember. Who knows. All I know is that they're married now. </div><p>Bernie thinks his friends have come back to Earth for good, but they're not. They don't want to tell him until he's ready to handle the news. I honestly still don't know why they're there. They have nothing to do with helping Kitty and the two other guys retrieve the pods. And I can't blame Bernie for thinking they returned for good.</p><p>Joe and Art meet Ruby (Elaine Stritch), a woman who runs the motel they're staying at until they leave. At first I thought Art was gonna have thing for her and cheat on his wife, but then I quickly realize she's gonna be used to be set up with Bernie.</p><p>Joe, Art, and Ben stop at Sunny Shores to retrieve Bernie to take him to the beach and as they're leaving, a male nurse tells them to stop and that Bernie's supposed to be in his "rug hooking class." Seriously. Like, why is that mandatory and how would he know where he's supposed to be? Art tells him to take his hands off Bernie and the nurse asks, "Or what?" in a challenging voice and calls him "an old coot". What he doesn't know is that he's messed with the wrong senior citizen! He may be in his 70s, but living in Antarea has rejuvenated him and he is easily able to bodyslam the bigger and younger nurse to the floor. It is hilarious because he literally just assaulted this guy and all the residents around them are applauding. Obviously, nobody likes this bully nurse. </p><p>While at the beach, they see some college girls in bikinis frolicking on the beach and Joe tells the other guys that those girls "need some mature male company." Eww. There's a scene of three of the four old men (guess which one isn't participating?) playing keep away with a beachball while the girls are giggling and acting like airheads. I'm sorry, but there's no way a bunch of college girls would be frolicking and giggling with three senior citizen men...unless they were billionaires or something! </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg8guZoRF-c0QE7Z03bV3JACgTo1oyCsqI0vZ3Zf1AWbOwTEQCgAoL6B1s-IlJ8PdmIsGGY0vWq4c5gsCT3CEmM_yTq7pWbGNEMPwEt0JsbrBOg6Q2suWX9IlrLsUMbShwMV1ZINpp3WhFsS5O54qw84zoO7da88059D6kUYal6_6brFPQ-2H6G_CF34sY" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="368" data-original-width="688" height="107" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEg8guZoRF-c0QE7Z03bV3JACgTo1oyCsqI0vZ3Zf1AWbOwTEQCgAoL6B1s-IlJ8PdmIsGGY0vWq4c5gsCT3CEmM_yTq7pWbGNEMPwEt0JsbrBOg6Q2suWX9IlrLsUMbShwMV1ZINpp3WhFsS5O54qw84zoO7da88059D6kUYal6_6brFPQ-2H6G_CF34sY=w200-h107" width="200" /></a></div><p></p><p>Meanwhile, Jack has taken Kitty and the two guys on his boat where they are getting ready to scuba dive to retrieve the cocoons. We get a stupid joke where Jack tells Kitty, "You're my favorite martian." If this joke was used today (which it wouldn't be), it would go over everybody's head. At least people of a certain age. I've heard of <i>My Favorite Martian </i>(a TV sitcom from the mid-60s; I had to look that part up), but I've never seen it.</p><p>While the others are scuba-diving, Jack sees a boat from the St. Petersburg Oceanographic Institute and they have captured a cocoon. Ruh-row! Now we are introduced to these characters, but the only one you really need to know is Sara (played by a pre-<i>Friends</i> Courteney Cox). Trust me, I wouldn't have remembered her name if it wasn't the same as mine and probably would have just called her Monica! </p><p>At the lab at the Oceanographic Institute, they are taking X-rays of the cocoon and one guy think it's a meteorite, but Sara doesn't think it came from the sky because it doesn't have the markings that would be characteristic of one. In the X-ray, they see a human form. Think a fetus, but an adult version of one. They are literally seeing a human shape in this cocoon and nobody is freaking out. They all seem pretty chill that there's a life form inside this giant rock. Okay, sure. </p><p>Oh, and while all this is happening, Jack, Kitty, and the two random dudes have followed them so they know where their friend has been taken so they'll be able to rescue him later. And if you're wondering how the scientist from the Oceanographic Institute were able to find the cocoon so easily, it was because it was knocked out of its hiding space from an earthquake. It's not like they just left them laying around for people to easily find them. Cuz that would just be stupid. Jack is surprised when the aliens decide they're going to rescue their friend in three days. That will be right before their spaceship is set to arrive and take them back home. He tells them by then that they will have cut the cocoon open and start performing experiments on their friend. Hey, he's not totally wrong. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhS-MQx_KpB1uffhBvg4WGVvhcwPZeWzZmJfchGtW3SApb7nyR60ARcK6cDce_-Bqsh6IG-uciUlJ25ur-m8338pvoJOyTPeKQYX47g9FzJZASFGcjCtr-4zVzVMrhzwHNxpLd7uPsiYQWkUtOHnb3T9TWqf2vTZlnDp9tL2NmmwyZjTvS1WuZarIzJi-M" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="250" data-original-width="400" height="125" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEhS-MQx_KpB1uffhBvg4WGVvhcwPZeWzZmJfchGtW3SApb7nyR60ARcK6cDce_-Bqsh6IG-uciUlJ25ur-m8338pvoJOyTPeKQYX47g9FzJZASFGcjCtr-4zVzVMrhzwHNxpLd7uPsiYQWkUtOHnb3T9TWqf2vTZlnDp9tL2NmmwyZjTvS1WuZarIzJi-M=w200-h125" width="200" /></a></div><br />They do eventually cut the pod open and Sara is all smiles at the weird and creepy alien being. It's obviously a human dressed up in some weird prosthetic with a glowing aura, so that just adds to the uncanniness. It is the most terrifying thing and I wouldn't be acting like it's some cute puppy that I discovered. Sara finds out she can communicate with the alien they have named "Phil" (no clue why....was that an alien on <i>My Favorite Martian</i>?) when he makes her watch beep. It beeps constantly and it's the most irritating sound. She finds it charming and cute, but I would find it super annoying and grating. She plays a game with him where they give him cards with shapes on it and she has the same cards and he has to guess what she has and he gets them right, so I guess he's clairvoyant? It honestly goes nowhere so it doesn't matter. <p></p><p>Sara finds out they want to give the alien to the government because they believe "there's a genuine national security issue." Not sure what Phil has done to make them believe that. It's not like he's trying to take over the world and destroying mankind like the aliens in <i>Independence Day</i>! These aliens seem pretty peaceful and just want to lay low. </p><p>Kitty and the other aliens know the the cocoon has been opened (I guess they can sense it? IDK! I don't question it!). They think their friend will be okay for a little while (yeah, as long as he doesn't get dissected!), but if he doesn't get an "infusion of life force soon, he'll weaken quickly." </p><p>Ben bonds with his grandson when he sees that Davis is not very good at baseball (he plays on a a team and his other teammates make fun of him for how much he sucks) and helps him with his batting skills. It's a good thing David has his grandparents to look after him since his mom is God knows where. Ben and Mary discuss how they're getting older on Earth (what the eff? They're only there for four days, so it's not like they're getting that much older! I'm sure four days isn't going to put a dent in the aging process, good Lord!), but they're happy to be back to spend some quality time with their grandson (but apparently not their daughter!) </p><p>Since the senior citizens are only on the planet for a few days, they are keen on getting down to boogie! Maybe they don't have social events like this on Antarea. Who knows. We barely hear anything about this mysterious planet except that you never get sick or age. The three couples are out dancing while Bernie is sitting at a table by himself. Ha, out of all these old people, I'm totally the Bernie of the group. His friends join him and Art tells him, "I see something that will get his juices flowing" and we see that he's looking at Ruby who's sitting at the bar. They must have invited her over because the next thing we see is all the old people sitting around the (extremely tiny!) table talking and joking. Ruby tells them, "You are my kind of group. Most people our age are a pain in the ass." Heh, as somebody who works with senior citizens, no comment! (But many of them are lovely!) I love when Bernie deadpans, "Most people our age are dead" and at first they're shocked, but then they start laughing. Bernie proceeds to do a bunch of impressions including Laurel and Hardy, then does a very specific impression which is of "an eagle who just found out his teenage daughter's pregnant." I have to admit, I didn't really get that one, but, weirdly, he did kind of look like an eagle. I was a bit confused why he was doing a comedy routine because it seemed so out of character for Bernie, but after looking up Jack Gilford's Wikipedia page, it made sense because he started his career doing impressions and I'm sure Laurel and Hardy and an eagle were just some that he did! </p><p>Ruby tells Bernie that he's adorable and gives him a kiss on the lips. Wow, she's certainly forward! Bernie doesn't like that and I can't blame him. He tells her he's a married man and she's confused because his friend had told her that he was single. Let's just say the evening does not end well for either one of them.</p><p>While writing this review, it's only now I'm realizing just how much stuff is crammed in this movie and these old people are sure doing a lot in the few days they're visiting Earth! I mean, I get it, they want to try to get as much done as they can before they go back to their home on an entirely different planet and who knows what you can do on Earth that you can't do on Antarea. </p><p>Alma is walking through a park near the beach when she sees a little girl bump her head on the playground equipment. The girl starts crying so Alma goes over to the woman who's trying to comfort the girl (at first I assumed she was the girl's mother, but I think she just ran the playgroup the girl was a part of) and asks if she can help. She then proceeds to cover the girl's head with her hands and a glowing light appears and the girl stops crying. The woman asks Alma to watch the rest of the children while she takes the girl to the first aid station. I love how this woman just leaves the rest of the children with this elderly woman she just met. Yes, Jessica Tandy has the friendliest and kindest face in the world, but she's a 75-year-old woman who probably won't be able to chase after a child if one decides to run away. </p><p>The only time we learn anything remotely about Antarea is when Alma has gathered the children around the swing set and is telling them a "story" about the planet. We learn that they can float there and there are three pale pink moons. Also, apparently there's no ice cream? What kind of hell hole is this? </p><p>Later that day, Alma tells her husband that she's been offered a job by the woman who runs a preschool for foster children. First of all, why is this woman offering a 75-year old a job? And I know the woman doesn't know it, but Alma and Joe are leaving in two days anyway. Joe points this out and Alma replies she wanted the fantasy of getting a job offer to last a little longer. I don't know, but when I'm 75, I doubt I would call getting a job offer a "fantasy". </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjRKVhSmhgLedsnzGmfOksfKe_Tre6lZv2ec0P9tg1j3Rd3Emw3lDKM_xJhtVzkATPKj2DlQG_Z87I0eTRn9fQrtRh6N4K5mLuYpu_sqV21Mem5gTs8ta6kNH_JTARYNSlV3s_i49sVVv9dRmNrsBNC54woZHFctxnG6gXKpksFZ9roulIQbKYqKOTA2pA" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="669" data-original-width="1000" height="134" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjRKVhSmhgLedsnzGmfOksfKe_Tre6lZv2ec0P9tg1j3Rd3Emw3lDKM_xJhtVzkATPKj2DlQG_Z87I0eTRn9fQrtRh6N4K5mLuYpu_sqV21Mem5gTs8ta6kNH_JTARYNSlV3s_i49sVVv9dRmNrsBNC54woZHFctxnG6gXKpksFZ9roulIQbKYqKOTA2pA=w200-h134" width="200" /></a></div>So what had Joe been doing earlier that day? Glad you asked cuz now we're about to get to my favorite scene of the movie and it's my favorite scene because it's so hilarious and ridiculous. Actually, now that I think of it, there might be a scene even more hilarious and ridiculous than this one if you can believe it. Joe, Ben, Art, and Bernie are about to eat lunch at a picnic table near a basketball court and a ball bounces over the fence and splatters Bernie with ketchup when it lands on the table. The four young guys (probably in their twenties) who were playing basketball, come over to retrieve their ball and they get in an altercation with the older men when Bernie starts complaining about what happened. Ben bets the younger guys $10 they (the older crew) can make eleven baskets before the young crew can. Why eleven and not ten, don't ask me. Also, ten dollars seems cheap even in 1990 money. <p></p><p>The game starts and Bernie is just standing there. After one of the older men make their second basket, one of the young guys says, "No more charity, now we're gonna play." Okay, I can see him saying that if the older guys had made five or six baskets, but you're getting scared because they made two baskets? And you're seven baskets ahead of them? Really? In hindsight, I guess they should have been worried, but it seems a little premature to get worried about it now. </p><p>Ben calls a time out after the older guys are beating them nine to two and Joe and Art huddle with him. I love that Bernie is not even involved because he could care less. Ben tells his friends it's time they show them "what they learned" and this is when all play basketball like they're Michael Jordan....why they didn't do this from the beginning, you got me. There's even one ridiculous moment where Joe makes a basket and he's literally floating in the air (due to awful special effects) and none of the younger guys even question this at all. They must have seen it! Somebody other than the Antarean residents must have seen that because a few people have gathered around the court, outside the fence and are cheering the old geezers on. There is this hilarious moment where they two twelve year old on bike give each other a high five and it's so dorky. It was so hilariously bad that I had to share it with you:</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dyicFsA5oQWZeEgx33jDzQ2fPw9rDjqZwusLOStnyasZv-OEpb7y1ztXWvfqGHYLaxLPbALGXqkVP1oDmPN4Q' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><div><br /></div>Obviously, the older men win and collect their winnings. During the game, Joe writhes in pain, but nobody seems to notice. Unfortunately, we will later learn that this is due to his leukemia coming back, which he was diagnosed with in the first movie, but it disappeared once he started soaking in the pool with the pods. The doctor he sees tells him he doesn't know if he has six months or six years left. I'm confused. He's going back to Antarea in two or three day, right? (At this point, I have no clue how many days are left in their short visit to Earth). So as long as he doesn't drop dead before then, he should be okay....unless I'm not factoring in the four month (presumably) journey back to Antarea. That could pose a problem....unless they have their life forces on the spaceship. Ugh, the problem with this movie is that we don't have enough information about how these life forces work and where they're kept. I mean, it's not the only problem with this movie! <div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi9P0NbxjonbQLlMTEvXO-UJ_JEKhpZJ7OmR8UB5-B5yGigQD1LFAOuuASzySIQuce5Gi_ZxNc4LK-hCpKp0F7iCRuY8zervVs6PSDiO0PnYAuZ_qB7FcNf0w_OJ4jujGG1GvGuQvaywtAuYyCgT500eM5eQPG5ciheqiEZ_Kh8B7QN087q8yF1SU6a2QY" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="664" data-original-width="1000" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEi9P0NbxjonbQLlMTEvXO-UJ_JEKhpZJ7OmR8UB5-B5yGigQD1LFAOuuASzySIQuce5Gi_ZxNc4LK-hCpKp0F7iCRuY8zervVs6PSDiO0PnYAuZ_qB7FcNf0w_OJ4jujGG1GvGuQvaywtAuYyCgT500eM5eQPG5ciheqiEZ_Kh8B7QN087q8yF1SU6a2QY=w320-h213" width="320" /></a></div></div><div>There's a cute scene of the ladies trying on fancy old-lady clothes at a store, like they're in<i> Pretty Woman</i>. This scene pretty much confirms that Jessica Tandy was the most adorable old lady who ever lived. Bess ends up fainting and we later find out that she is pregnant. WTF? This woman is no younger than sixty, how the hell can she be pregnant? We see a montage of her and Art getting ready for their baby and this includes them shopping for baby clothes. It I were in that store and saw them, I would just think it's an old couple shopping for an upcoming grandchild. We also see them in a lamaze class where the much younger couples are just staring at them. Why are they even bothering with this when, again, they are only on the effing planet for three days and also, how are they not getting on the news for being the oldest couple ever to have a baby? Honestly, I think they just threw this lame plot twist in because they had nothing for Bess to do. </div><div><br /></div><div>Also, I have a question that probably is never going to be answered, so I don't know why I'm even bothering to ask it, but how does this age thing work on Antarea? Like, are you always the age you are when you go there or do you stop aging at a certain age? Cuz if it's the former, their baby is going to remain a newborn forever! And that sounds terrible....for everyone! <br /><p>Ruby and Jack go on a second date and everything seems to be going pretty well (he tell her he thinks she's pretty and they kiss) until they're dancing and he thinks he see his wife. Ruby tells him his wife is dead and he's alive and that he's using his wife as "an excuse so [he doesn't] have to go on living." It is a little amusing because Ruby and Jack's first wife, Rose are just so different. Let me give you a side by side comparison:</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BZDU3Y2I3MWYtYjdmNy00YTBiLWFkZWQtNjdmODQ3ZDFlODY4XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTc5MDI5NjE@._V1_.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="434" data-original-width="800" height="109" src="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BZDU3Y2I3MWYtYjdmNy00YTBiLWFkZWQtNjdmODQ3ZDFlODY4XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTc5MDI5NjE@._V1_.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><a href="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMTZmMTg1MTEtOWIzNC00ZDI5LTlkYzQtY2RlOTk0NGFiZDY5XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTc5MDI5NjE@._V1_.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="533" height="200" src="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMTZmMTg1MTEtOWIzNC00ZDI5LTlkYzQtY2RlOTk0NGFiZDY5XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTc5MDI5NjE@._V1_.jpg" width="133" /></a></div><p></p>Okay, it's not really side by side, but one above the other, but whatever. Rose gives off a grandmotherly vibe who likes to bake cookies and sew while Ruby is more of a Blanche Devereaux type. They just give off totally different vibes. By the way, I was pretty proud of myself because I had no idea Elaine Stritch was in this movie, but when I first saw her in a scene I thought it was Elaine Stritch and I looked it up and I was right! </div><div><br /></div><div>It probably won't surprise you that in the end, Jack and Ruby reconcile and things between them at the end are good. </div><div><br /></div><div>We get some foreshadowing when Ben and Mary are talking about how much they miss being around their grandson and how they missed his 14th birthday (uh....didn't they miss the previous last five birthdays and won't they miss seeing him grow up?) Mary indeed does point out they they've missed the last five years of David's life and tells her husband that she wants to stay so they can all be together. Yes, Mary! That's what you should have said in the first movie! Ben tells her everyone around them is sick and dying and doesn't want that to happen to her. Okay, is this really true? He doesn't even know that Joe's cancer has returned and besides Bernie's wife, who else do they know that has died in the last few years? I feel like Ben is being a tad hyperbolic here. Mary tells him that people shouldn't outlive their children. She forgot to mention people also shouldn't outlive their grandchildren! <br /><p>Now we get the most ridiculous and stupidest scene of the movie when Kitty "shows" Jack his future when he's bemoaning he'll never find anyone to share his life with. And the worst part is that this scene is supposed to be taken seriously! In any other movie, this would have been seen as satirical. Kitty tells Jack to close his eyes and places her hand on his forehead and this allows her to show him his future. Um, okay, this is a new development with these Antarean aliens, but never mind that! Jack's "current self" is walking by a lake and he's either wearing pajamas or leisure wear....I don't know what he's wearing, but his shirt is unbuttoned. He comes across a large house that's painted white (I can't just type "White House" because it literally just capitalizes it....yeah, like that) with black shutters and pillars. He sees two young girls with a maid/nanny in the front yard (where an old fancy car is parked....I don't know my cars, but I'm sure it's expensive). The girls looks like extras from <i>Mary Poppins</i>, dressed in sailor dresses and large brimmed hats with ribbons that tie around their chins. Like, what century are we in? We see a woman dressed in a matching dress and hat come out the front door. You can't see her face because it's hidden by the hat, but it's so obvious it's Courteney Cox. After all, she's the only other woman in the movie that's Jack's age aside from Kitty, but we know Jack can't have a future with Kitty because a) she's an alien, b) she lives on an entirely different planet, and c), she's an alien! The "mystery" woman brushes her hair back and we see she has a birthmark in the shape of a heart on her neck, behind her ear.</p><p>I though the outfit Jack is wearing just strolling about is ridiculous, but then the front door opens and he sees his future self (and keep in mind the is probably only a few years in the future) walk out looking absolutely ridiculous in a navy blue suit jacket and yellow tie and white pants and he's smoking a pipe (wonder what's in that pipe?). He hugs the girls, then the woman. It's so obvious that this is his family in the near future. Either Sara makes a good living as a scientist or he got a better job because I don't know how he's affording all these things.</p><p>It's the last day of the senior citizen's field trip to Earth and they have found out about Phil, so they tell Kitty that they'll help her get her friend back since the Antareans have given them so much and they want to help. She tells them that the spaceship will meet them at the rendezvous point at midnight and if they have any "unfinished business" today is the day to do it. Duh, Kitty, they only have one last day on Earth. Also, why are they only visiting for four days? This is so stupid. And....I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY THEY CAME BACK IN THE FIRST PLACE! It sure damn well wasn't to rescue their friend because at that point they didn't even know there would be any rescuing to do! This movie literally makes zero sense. They still haven't told Bernie that they're not staying and Art tells the others they need to tell him, but he conveniently overheard everything and now he's mad. </p><p>Apparently Alma took the job at the day care because we see her playing kickball with the kids and the ball goes into the street. (Why are they letting young children play by a busy street?) A stupid young boy chases the ball and Alma runs after him. Of course, she saves the boy from getting hit by a car and she gets hit instead. She's taken to the hospital where the doctor tells Joe that she won't make it through the night. Remember when Alma healed that young girl's bruised head with her glowing powers? Well, Joe uses his powers to heal his wife. I wonder why he couldn't do the same for himself. Maybe it only works on exterior body ailments or he ran out of power. She wakes up and tells him she dreamed something was pulling her further and further away but he wouldn't let her go. Joe is the one that ends up dying because of his cancer. I figured one of our older characters was going to die when they retuned to Earth. </p><p>After Joe has died, Ben and Art are walking on the beach. Art says, "We never should have come back. If we stayed put, this never would have happened." Duh, you think? Also, his line should have been, "We never should have made this movie."! </p><p>Before his grandparents leave, David gifts his grandfather with a baseball that he has written "I love you, Grandpa" on it. Even if I didn't already know that his grandparents would end up staying, I feel pretty confident that I would have correctly predicted it. We get this scene, plus the other scenes where Mary keeps telling her husband how much stuff they're missing by not being on the same planet as their daughter and grandson. I also love that we still haven't seen David's mother since she fainted. I just picture her still being unconscious by the front door. </p><p>So Ben and Art go to the science facility to help Kitty and Jack rescue Phil while the other women are....doing something. I honestly don't remember. I won't bore you with there details, but it consists of Kitty changing into her alien form. Actually, I don't really remember, but the rescue operation is successful and Sara sees them running away with the alien and she yells at them to stop, but Ben tells her that this is their friend and they're taking him home so she just lets them go. This place has the worst security ever. Oh, and David was there to help them because apparently he was able to sneak in the trunk of his grandparents' car without them noticing and this isn't revealed to the audience until we see him get out of the trunk. I love how his grandfather isn't even that surprised when he sees David at the facility, he just tells him to hold the door open for him. </p><p>So now everyone is at the boat which is where the spaceship will pick them up (just like in the first movie). Ben thanks David for his help and tells him after all that, hitting a baseball should be easy? Huh? He literally just held a door open....how is that like hitting a baseball? David tells him he wishes he could be there to see his games and without any fanfare, his grandfather replies, "We will be" and his wife starts crying (from happiness, I hope). Seriously, if I were Mary, I would be a little peeved. She has been telling him all this time that they should stay and he's like no, no, no, but then when he decides they should stay, they stay. What the hell? Actually, I thought Bernie and Ruby might take their place, but it wouldn't be in Bernie's character to go so I'm glad that prediction didn't come true. Alma is also staying so she can continue to work at the day care, but I think she's staying only because her husband died and it would be too painful to live an eternality without him. But that's just my analyzation. </p><p>So this means that Art and Bess are the only humans going back. What is the point of that if all their friends are staying on Earth? (And they'll all be in the same area on Earth!) Yeah, I know they're also friends with the aliens, but it's not the same. Oh, wait, I forgot other residents from Sunny Shores also went on the spaceship in the first movie, so I guess there are other humans there as well. I wonder if this is why they made Bess pregnant so they could have them raise their child on a different planet even though we will never see a second of this. </p><p>This is when we see Walter, the main alien from the first movie, make a quick appearance to say a quick goodbye to everyone who's not coming back. </p><p>It's at this point I'm wondering when are we going to see any interaction between Jack and Sara. After all, they're supposed to end up with each other and so far they haven't had any screen time together. The movie ends with Jack on his boat at night and Sara comes up and asks for some gas. She asks him because his boat was the only light she saw. Jack tells her he can give her a lift to gas station which is down the way and she agrees. Uh....this is a great way to get murdered! A pretty, young woman accepts a ride from a random stranger in the dark of night. Yep, that's going to end well. (I listen to too many true crime podcasts).Well, actually it does end well because if Kitty's promotions are right, they end up happily married and rich with two daughters. Or maybe she'll end up in New York, live in an extremely large apartment, change her name to Monica and become a chef and get married to another guy. Haha, a little<i> Friends</i> humor there. Oh, and this is when it's "revealed" to Jack and audience that Sara is the "mystery" woman with the heart-shaped birth mark. What a shock! It sure would have been nice to see those two meet in a previous scene and then we could have seen their relationship form instead of this random scene that felt more like an after thought.</p><p>While the credits roll, we see clips of the first movie. It feels like they're trying to tell us that we just watched this movie because we loved the first movie so much, which is true, but it also reminds me of how much better the first movie is. Do yourself a favor and skip this movie and watch the first one! </p></div>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-12665183254882085552023-07-18T09:09:00.006-05:002023-07-18T10:47:23.523-05:00Save the Miracle, Save the Madrigals<div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Encanto</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Directors: Jared Bush and Byron Howard</div><div style="text-align: left;">Voice Talent: Stephanie Beatriz, John Leguizamo, Diane Guerreo, Wilmer Valderrama, Jessica Darrow, Maria Cecelia Botero</div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: November 24, 2021</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Oscar nominations:</div><div style="text-align: left;">Best animated movie (won)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.slashfilm.com/img/gallery/encanto-co-director-jared-bush-finally-gives-the-answer-to-the-bruno-plot-hole/intro-1672772807.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="438" data-original-width="780" height="225" src="https://www.slashfilm.com/img/gallery/encanto-co-director-jared-bush-finally-gives-the-answer-to-the-bruno-plot-hole/intro-1672772807.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So if you can believe it, I went this long without ever hearing a note from "We Don't Talk About Bruno." All I knew was that Bruno was the uncle in this family and all I could wonder was what Bruno did that his name is never spoken. I was thinking it had to be something pretty nefarious! Spoiler alert: not really. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">We are introduced to the Madrigals, a magical family who lives in Colombia. Their home (<i>Casita</i>!) houses the candle that "holds the miracle given to the family." There are many, many members of the Madrigal family, but Mirabel (voiced by Stephanie Beatriz) is the protagonist and as a young girl, her <i>Abuela </i>tells her (and the audience, let's be real here) the story of how their family received the miracle. When she and her husband, Pedro, are forced out of their home with their newborn triplets because of civil conflict, I'm assuming, her husband is "lost" (a nicer word for "killed" in a Disney movie) and his sacrifice gave them the miracle: "The candle became a magical flame that could never go out" and it created an "Encanto" where it changed the landscape around them and gave them a magical house (and it's a pretty cool house, I must say), <i>Casita</i>! When her triplets became "of age" (which appears to be around five or six; when has that ever been the age for becoming of age? Seems a bit young to me!), "the miracle blessed each with a magic gift to help [them]." And their children would also receive "magic gifts" when they became of age too. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Like I said, this is a big family and we have a lot of people to introduce (in fact, the very first song in the movie is pretty much about how many people are in the Madrigal family and what their magical gift is and trying to keep them straight. I admit, I was confused with who was who, but by the middle of the movie, I was able to keep everyone straight. So here is everyone in the family and what their magical gift is:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2022-01/6/0/asset/145e6f65c6fb/sub-buzz-1135-1641427387-64.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="471" data-original-width="800" height="118" src="https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2022-01/6/0/asset/145e6f65c6fb/sub-buzz-1135-1641427387-64.png" width="200" /></a></div>-Like I mentioned earlier, <i>Abuela </i>(I don't remember if we ever know her first name, she just seems to go by "grandmother") is the matriarch of the Madrigal family. She doesn't really have a magical gift as she was too old to acquire one, but I guess she's the "Keeper of the Flame", so to speak. Abuela's triplets are Julieta, Peppa, and Bruno. Of course, we don't talk about Bruno...but I will tell you that his gift is he can see the future. Some of his "predictions" are just super obvious things that will happen (such as a goldfish dying). This ability of seeing the future doesn't have the townspeople too keen on him and that's one of the reasons he leaves, but also because he saw a vision he didn't like. I would definitely hate to have this so-called gift. Maybe some people would like to predict the future, but not me. All I would do is worry about when I will die or when someone close to me will die and that's literally all I will think about and worry about. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Her two daughters are both married and they each have three children themselves. Let's start with Pepa:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">-Pepa's gift is that she can control the weather. I think. Honestly, I was a little confused because it seems like she would just control the weather literally over her head as a storm cloud would appear over her head if she was in a very bad mood or if she was in a good mood, no rain. But when it was raining right over her head, it didn't appear to be raining anywhere else in their town. Controlling the weather would be something I wouldn't mind to have. I would never make it snow, especially if I had to go somewhere. But if it I were home with nowhere to be and had all my essentials, then let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. (I absolutely hate driving in snow...the two times I've gotten in car accidents were because of snow and ice and it gives me severe anxiety attacks). I would also make it where it was never below 50 degrees, but never higher than, oh, say, 81 degrees. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Pepa is married to Felix. He is just a mere mortal and does not have any special gift. (This will also apply to Juliet's husband). Their three children, from oldest to youngest, are:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">-Dolores is their eldest daughter, probably 18-20 years old. She has the worst gift of all. And I don't mean worst as in its useless (there are others who have more useless gifts than her), but worst as in it is absolutely horrific. If I had her "gift", I would probably kill myself. Maybe that sounds extreme, but I honestly think I would go mental if I had to deal with what she has. So Dolores' magic gift is that she has super-hearing. At first, I thought she could just hear conversations from far away and she was just a professional eavesdropper. Now, if that were the case, I wouldn't mind having that super power. You could just listen to people's conversations all day long without being suspected. But it's not just people's conversation she can hear. It is everything. EV.ERY.THING. At one point she mentions she can hear the insects walking across the floor. OMG, can you imagine if you heard every little thing like that? It would be constant and never-ending. I remember spending the night at a friend's house and there was a ticking clock that drove me absolutely crazy with its constant<i> tick-tick-tick-tick</i> sound. Finally, I just moved to a drawer or somewhere or did something with it so the sound was muffled. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In the context of the story, it makes sense for someone to have this "gift" because it will play a big part in the movie, but, ugh! No, thank you! Terrible super power.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">-Camilo is the Mystique of this movie meaning he can shapeshift into anybody. Though, I'm not sure if that's quite true because he only seems to shapeshift into people who he's around, so maybe he need to acquire the DNA of people he's physically close to to be able to turn into? I'm not sure; they really didn't go into detail. In real life, you could have a lot of fun with this ability; but you could also get into a lot of mischief with it. It's definitely something you wouldn't want somebody with evil intentions to have, which is probably the reason in most movies, the bad guy has this super power! Because the Madrigals are a good family, Camilo doesn't use his powers for evil, but he doesn't really use them for good either. It's just an ability he has. In one scene, we see him morph into a woman so he can take care of the woman's baby while she gets some rest. And when the Madrigals have a party, he morphs into each guests so he can greet them as themselves. It's so weird. Like, why would I want to be greeted by myself? That would freak me the f*** out. He morphs into his sister so he can get seconds on food. When they sing the "We Don't Talk About Bruno" song, he morphs into Bruno which is why I think this is the only reason he has this "gift". Honestly, super useless. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">-Last but not least is Antonio, who is not only the youngest child of Pepa and Felix, but also the youngest member of all the Madrigal family. He is turning five (or maybe six; I honestly don't remember), which means he will soon be getting his special gift. Let's put a pin in that for now.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Now let's move on to to the final triplet:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://s3.amazonaws.com/sfc-datebook-wordpress/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/11/MER97448ca834e4fbc883a613f53c50c_encanto1115_ph3-1024x536.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="419" data-original-width="800" height="105" src="https://s3.amazonaws.com/sfc-datebook-wordpress/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2021/11/MER97448ca834e4fbc883a613f53c50c_encanto1115_ph3-1024x536.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>-Julieta is married to Agustin (voiced by Wilmer Valderrama) and they also have three children. There must be some prophecy that every member of the Madrigal has three children because I'm seeing a pattern here. Overall, the special gifts that Julieta and her children have far outweigh those that Pepa and her children have (in my opinion!) Julieta has an amazing gift that is actually beneficial and helps people: she can heal people with her cooking. All she has to do is give someone some food she's cooked and she's healed a broken finger or cut or any ailment they may have. Now that is a powerful and useful gift! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Julieta and Agustin have three daughters:</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">-Isabela (voiced by Diane Guerrero) is the oldest (probably 20-21) and at first I didn't really appreciate her gift for what it truly was. She can grow flowers out of thin air and while she can make any place beautiful and smell wonderful, I didn't really see the point of her ability until I realized it wasn't just flowers she could grow, but any kind of vegetation. Now that certainly upped her superpower game! Because of her, the people in their town will never go hungry. She literally has every single crop there is at her fingertips. She is a very valuable member of her family and the community. Hell, she's a valuable citizen of the world! Keep this young woman safe at all costs! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">-Luisa (voiced by Jessica Darrow) is the middle daughter, probably 18/19 years old. She has super strength. There's always one of these in the group when you have a group of people with powers. She is able to move buildings, reroute the river, lift heavy animals, etc. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">-And, finally we have Mirabel, who I mentioned earlier, is the protagonist of the movie. She is fifteen years old and we find out that she actually doesn't have a special gift. After we get the backstory of how the Madrigals received their powers, the movie starts on the day of Antonio's ceremony where is he to receive his gift. Abuela is super nervous about the day because she's worried that the same thing that happened to Mirabel might happen to Antonio. Remember, nobody has received their gift since Mirabel so if Antonio doesn't get his, then probably nobody in the Madrigal family will probably ever receive one ever again. Everyone is getting ready for the big day (Isabela is covering the place with flowers) and Mirabel is trying to help in her own way, but Abuela just tells her to keep out of the way and that can be her way of "helping". Heh, poor Mirabel. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://media.cntraveler.com/photos/619bc7c34f0a81d5659ee192/4:3/w_2160,h_1620,c_limit/Disney's%20Encanto_ENCANTO-PRINT-USE___CASA_Ian12_FLAT_cmyk.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="800" height="150" src="https://media.cntraveler.com/photos/619bc7c34f0a81d5659ee192/4:3/w_2160,h_1620,c_limit/Disney's%20Encanto_ENCANTO-PRINT-USE___CASA_Ian12_FLAT_cmyk.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br />Even though <i>Casita </i>is a house, it might be my favorite character. <i>Casita </i>is awesome! During the ceremony, when the guests arrive, they house moves its tiles around so they are able to put their hats on it. Young kids run up the stairs, then the house turns the steps into a slide and it looks so fun. I want to live in <i>Casita</i>! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So each member of the family has their own special room which is this big, expansive area where they are able to hone their gifts. Think of the closet in Narnia: when you open the door, you are pretty much in another world. Since Mirabel doesn't have a magical gift, she never received her own special room and her room is the nursery she's been sharing with Antonio. Mirabel is 15/16 and Antonio is 5/6. Even though they get along and have a cute relationship, I would hate to share a room with a 5/6 year old - especially as a teenager! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://cst.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/37d8054/2147483647/strip/true/crop/5455x3114+152+0/resize/1461x834!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn.vox-cdn.com%2Fthumbor%2Fctc6Pub2LOG7bxsvaFjXhyRnkUA%3D%2F0x0%3A5760x3114%2F5760x3114%2Ffilters%3Afocal%282880x1557%3A2881x1558%29%2Fcdn.vox-cdn.com%2Fuploads%2Fchorus_asset%2Ffile%2F23026267%2FENCANTO_ONLINE_USE_mono_fullcomp.0050.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="457" data-original-width="800" height="115" src="https://cst.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/37d8054/2147483647/strip/true/crop/5455x3114+152+0/resize/1461x834!/quality/90/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn.vox-cdn.com%2Fthumbor%2Fctc6Pub2LOG7bxsvaFjXhyRnkUA%3D%2F0x0%3A5760x3114%2F5760x3114%2Ffilters%3Afocal%282880x1557%3A2881x1558%29%2Fcdn.vox-cdn.com%2Fuploads%2Fchorus_asset%2Ffile%2F23026267%2FENCANTO_ONLINE_USE_mono_fullcomp.0050.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>During Antonio's ceremony where he will be heading upstairs to turn the doorknob to learn of his fate and obtain his new room, he wants Mirabel to walk with him up the stairs as everyone is lining the pathway, watching them. Way to rub it in, kid! Now everyone is watching Mirabel walk up the stairs with him and they all know that she didn't get her gift. Obviously, this was done so we can see Mirabel having flashbacks of her own failed ceremony. In her version, when she reached for the doorknob of what was supposed to be her room, it vanished. As Antonio is about to reach out and touch his doorknob, Abuela looks super nervous. When the knob starts to glow when he touches it, she is immediately relieved. Out of nowhere, a toucan lands on his arm and chirps. Antonio quickly realizes his gift is that he can communicate with animals and his room is just a huge jungle full of trees and vines and rivers. Which is kinda ironic because they live in Colombia and his room is now pretty much what it looks like outside beyond their town. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYTM5MDVjNDctNDYxNC00MTJiLWE0ZWQtNDQ4ZmQ5N2JhZjg5XkEyXkFqcGdeQVRoaXJkUGFydHlJbmdlc3Rpb25Xb3JrZmxvdw@@._V1_QL75_UX500_CR0,0,500,281_.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="112" src="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYTM5MDVjNDctNDYxNC00MTJiLWE0ZWQtNDQ4ZmQ5N2JhZjg5XkEyXkFqcGdeQVRoaXJkUGFydHlJbmdlc3Rpb25Xb3JrZmxvdw@@._V1_QL75_UX500_CR0,0,500,281_.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>There was some nice foreshadowing of his gift when earlier Mirabel had given him a stuffed leopard as a gift because she know he's "an animal guy." So I guess your magical gift correlates with an interest or quality you already have. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">While everyone is rejoicing in Antonio's magic room (and Abuela is having a fiesta! She tells the guests, "The magic is strong and so are the drinks!"), Mirabel sees a huge crack forming in the tiles of <i>Casita </i>that goes up the wall and stairs until it starts to spread everywhere throughout the house. She goes to the jungle room to warn Abuela and the others, but when they step out of the room the house is back to normal and there are no cracks anywhere. Abuela does not look pleased with Mirabel and thinks she's only doing this to gain attention. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">However, later that night, Mirabel overhears her grandmother asking her husband (she's looking at a framed photo of him) to help save the miracle so she must know something is up. Mirabel vows to herself that she will help save the miracle. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">She decides to ask Dolores if she knows anything since her cousin can hear everything. Dolores tells her she thinks Luisa knows something because she "heard her eyes twitching all night." Dear God. Dolores really does have the worst "gift" ever. I wonder why she even obtained such a horrible ability. Probably because she's a gossip (as we'll see later on) and likes to eavesdrop on people. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Antonio's gift of communicating with animals doesn't really go anywhere, but we do get a few funny gags throughout the movie including one where Abuela is about to sit down, but there are three small animals on her chair and Antonio tells her that he told them to warm up her seat. I don't know about you, but I don't like sitting in a spot after someone else has sat there....especially if it's a stranger. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/8db6137/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1920x1034+0+0/resize/880x474!/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F58%2F51%2F2aa947634ba49f758f80a4a0c77a%2Fencanto-luisa.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="431" data-original-width="800" height="108" src="https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/8db6137/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1920x1034+0+0/resize/880x474!/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F58%2F51%2F2aa947634ba49f758f80a4a0c77a%2Fencanto-luisa.png" width="200" /></a></div>After we get Luisa's song (which is pretty dang catchy if I do say so myself), she admits to Mirabel that she felt weak last night after Mirabel had seen the cracks in the house. She also tells her that before their Uncle Bruno had left, he had "some terrible vision about it" and tells her sister to go to Bruno's room to find the vision. Mirabel asks her how one finds a vision and Luisa replies, "If you find it, you'll know."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://64.media.tumblr.com/4ac1a0eb7797382272cf0afd61fa3b4e/d1809d616dc4c78e-c7/s540x810/64e643b9e7d13d231a209aa53a9cbd4178d59519.gif" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="288" data-original-width="540" height="171" src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/4ac1a0eb7797382272cf0afd61fa3b4e/d1809d616dc4c78e-c7/s540x810/64e643b9e7d13d231a209aa53a9cbd4178d59519.gif" width="320" /></a></div>Apparently his room is off limits, so Mirabel has to sneak in when no one is around. It is full of sand and there's a million steps that take you into a cave. The gif to the right does a good job of showing just how vast his room is and how many steps you have to climb. After we get a montage of her walking up all those stairs (I guess climbing all those stairs gives you time to reflect and meditate before you perform your vision seeing? IDK?), there is a chunk of the cliff that has crumbled so there is a big gap between the top of the steps and the entrance to the cave. She has to swing a rope from side to the other. She's lucky she had something to get to the other side, but I'm curious as how she got back to the other side because from what I can tell, it looks like the rope is more accessible from the side she came from. </div><p>The toucan, the same one who had "spoken" to Antonio earlier in the movie, has joined Mirabel on her adventure as it can easily fly to the top of the cliff, then fly across the chasm. But once it sees Mirabel is about to go into dark cave, it flies away, leaving Mirabel all alone. Not exactly the loyal Disney pet! In the dark cave, she sees a bunch of glowing green glass in the sand and when she puts three pieces together, she sees an image of herself. The walls start to crack and sand is pouring in, so she quickly gathers the rest of the glass pieces and gets out. The next scene we see her back in <i>Casita</i>, so we never find out how she got over the gap when the rope swing was on the other side. </p><p>Mirabel wants to know more about the vision Bruno saw, but as we all know, they don't talk about Bruno! This is when we get that song. The song is catchy, I'll give it that, but I don't understand why people were trying to act like it was the next "Let It Go" or something. During the song, Camilo turns into Bruno during the song and it seems this is the only reason why they have Camilo as a shapeshifter. </p><p>Mirabel puts the vision puzzle together in her room. Her dad comes in and it's obvious he sees it even though she tries to hide it by standing in front of the table it's on. She realizes she's been caught and all she can do is tell him the truth: "I broke into Bruno's tower, I found his last vision, the family's in trouble, the magic is dying, the house is breaking, Luisa's gift is fading and I think it's all because of... me?" </p><p>This also just so happens to be the evening that Isabel's fiancé's and his mother is coming over and Agustin makes the decision that they will say nothing about what happened because Abuela wants this night to be perfect. He tells Mirabel this as he gathers the pieces and puts them in his pocket. (Why not just find a drawer in Mirabel's room to put them in....but we'll later find out they will need to be accessible in the next scene). He tells Mirabel to act normal and no one will even know. Of course, when they open the door, they see Dolores (the one who can hear every little thing, remember) standing across the courtyard with a look of shock on her face. She whispers, "I know", heh.</p><p>During dinner, Mirabel is staring intently at Dolores to make sure she doesn't say anything, but when someone passes a bowl of avocados to her and blocks her view, she sees Dolores whisper something to Camilo, then he says something to his dad, who says something to his wife, who has a dark storm cloud over her which is getting quite big and covering everyone. She whispers to Julieta. This is like a big game of Telephone. Heh, I wonder if kids of today even know about that game. You know, since everybody texts each other now. </p><p>Mirano, Isabel's fiancé, asks Mirabel if everything is okay because she's acting very nervous. Agustin speaks for her and tells him she's fine and that she's excited for him to propose which he thinks he should do now. Mirano's mother says that he wanted to begin with a song before he proposed. Mirabel says it's tradition to sing after the proposal. It's so obvious she and her dad are trying to get the proposal official before anything can be ruined, but can't Mirano always call it off if he wanted to? It's a moot point anyway because Antonio's animal pals start putting the puzzle together under the table. (The reason why it was necessary for the pieces to be nearby). </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.thewrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Encanto-Mirabel-Bruno-1.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="113" src="https://www.thewrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Encanto-Mirabel-Bruno-1.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Everything turns into chaos and when Abuela demands to know what is happening, Dolores tells everyone. Everyone is angry with Mirabel (well, mostly Abuela and Isabel). She sees rats scurry away with the glass pieces of the vision and follows them through a portrait in the wall which leads her to find her Uncle Bruno (voiced by John Leguizamo) who apparently has been living in the walls. This must be a pretty big house if he's got enough room to live between the walls! Though,<i> Casita </i>is a magical house, so it makes sense to me. <p></p><p>He tells her no one was ever supposed to see the vision. Mirabel doesn't understand why he left, but didn't actually leave. He starts making excuses about having free food (where he's located in the walls, it's "kitchen adjacent") and he couldn't go anywhere else because the mountains are pretty tall. (Honestly, I'm surprised he just didn't live in his -or another of his family members' - vast room. He tells her that he loves his family, but his gift wasn't helping them. She wants to know why she was in his vision and if she's hurting their family. We find out that he had a vision of her not receiving her magic gift and Abuela wanted him to look into the future to see what it meant. He did and saw "the magic in danger" and their house breaking. When he saw Mirabel, the vision changed and the "future was undecided." He left to protect her. He never watched the entire vision. Wouldn't it be best to watch the whole vision - no matter how difficult - and do the opposite of what happened if something bad is happening? IDK! </p><p>Mirabel wants him to have another vision so he can see more, but he tells her he doesn't do visions anymore. Even if he wanted to, he can't since his room has been ruined. At that point, Antonio appears and tells them that they can use his room. He explains that the rats told him everything. There's a funny moment where his pet jaguar is about to eat the rats and he tells it, "Don't eat those." I have to wonder what the jaguar, Antonio's only carnivore animal pal, eats. He can't eat any of the other animals because they're Antonio's confidants. Does Julieta go to the market and buy meat for the jaguar? </p><p>Bruno performs his vision in Antonio's jungle room with Mirabel (and a capybara who seems unimpressed, ha!), but just sees the same thing. Mirabel notices a flapping butterfly and they follow it. It appears to transform into the candle which is getting brighter. They see a vision of Mirabel hugging someone; it turns out to be her sister, Isabela. I laughed at her incredulous, "ISABELA!" Their embrace appears to make the candle glow brighter. </p><p>She doesn't think Isabela will hug her because she's mad at her for ruining her proposal. Bruno tells Mirabel after she saves the miracle, she should visit him, but she tells him after she saves the miracle, she's bringing him home. I'm not really sure why hugging her sister has anything to do with saving the miracle and there's no way it can be that easy. </p><p>We've seen Antonio's (brand new) jungle room, we've seen Bruno's sand-infested room, and now we will soon see Isabel's room overflowing with flowers. These are the only rooms we will see (though we see a brief few seconds of Pepa's room) and it kind of makes you wonder why the other rooms look like. Like, does Camilo's room have a bunch of mirrors so he can practice morphing into different people? Is Luisa's room just a big gym with a spa? </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://static1.srcdn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Encanto-Isabela-Mirabel-Madrigal-Happy-Hug-Reconcile.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="800" height="100" src="https://static1.srcdn.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Encanto-Isabela-Mirabel-Madrigal-Happy-Hug-Reconcile.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>It's pretty amusing how Mirabel goes into Isabel's room and apologies for the way she's been acting and tells her she wants to be a better sister and that they should "hug it out", but Isabela isn't having any of it. We get her song where she sings about being perfect is a big burden on her and that she never wanted to marry Mariano and that she was only "doing it for the family." We also find out she'd rather make things like cacti with her power, something that may not be deemed as pretty as a flower. As she sings, <i>"I just made something unexpected; something sharp, something new. It's not symmetrical or perfect, but it's beautiful and it's mine." </i>After the musical number, the two sisters have a better understanding of each other and Mirabel tells her grandmother that she's going to save the miracle, but Abuela is angry and blames Mirabel for everything that's going wrong. Mirabel comes to the realization that she will never be good enough for her grandmother who tells her she does't know why Mirabel didn't get a gift, but "it is not an excuse for [her] to hurt this family." Mirabel next comes to the conclusion that nobody in the family will ever be good enough for Abuela and accuses her of being the one that doesn't care about the family, which doesn't go over so well with Abuela.<p></p><p>This must have been the catalyst for Bruno's vision because the house starts cracking and rumbling and falling apart. Mirabel manages to grab the candle before it can topple over and we see <i>Casita </i>protect her from falling debris by covering her with remnants of itself. Unfortunately, the candle's flame is on its last flicker and it goes out, and therefore, so does the magic. It's sad for everyone, especially since they lost their amazing home, but I have to wonder if Dolores was secretly happy to finally not hear every single little minuscule thing. I know I would be. </p><p>With all the chaos going on, an ashamed Mirabel slips away into the jungle and everyone is looking for her. Abuela is the one to find her by the river. Mirabel apologizes to her grandmother and tells her they are a family because of Abuela. They hug and make up. </p><p>Their magic may be gone, but the townspeople have come to help the Madrigals rebuild their home which is done in the course of one song! I mean, obviously, we see time has gone by and it's a clever way to do it, since, you know, this is a musical. </p><p>Remember how Isabela never wanted to marry Mariano? Well, in "We Don't Talk About Bruno", Bruno tells Dolores her "man of her dreams would be just out of reach, betrothed to another." Turns out he was talking about Mariano and he predicted that right as Dolores and Mariano get together. </p><p><i></i></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><a href="https://i0.wp.com/www.michigandaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/online_Encanto1.jpg?w=2400&ssl=1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="800" height="133" src="https://i0.wp.com/www.michigandaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/online_Encanto1.jpg?w=2400&ssl=1" width="200" /></a></i></div><i><br />Casita</i> is rebuilt and comes back to life. There's a cute moment where it waves one of its shutters, welcoming the family. Mirabel now has her own doorknob which just so happens to be on the front door of the house. So I guess Mirabel is now going to take over for Abuela when she passes on? Everyone has their magic back and all is well again.<p></p>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-44169796337452552042023-05-18T11:18:00.000-05:002023-05-18T11:18:06.706-05:00Can you become, can you become a new version of you<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2018/09/24/USAT/f6d43635-6bdf-4209-94ba-aed94a3e37bc-1LongFelicity_Pixie_22.JPG?crop=1327,760,x0,y199&width=660&height=372&format=pjpg&auto=webp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="372" data-original-width="660" height="113" src="https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2018/09/24/USAT/f6d43635-6bdf-4209-94ba-aed94a3e37bc-1LongFelicity_Pixie_22.JPG?crop=1327,760,x0,y199&width=660&height=372&format=pjpg&auto=webp" width="200" /></a></div>I just watched <i>Felicity</i> for the first time and wanted to share some thoughts/bullet points. This was a show that would have been perfect for me to watch when it aired from 1998-2002 on the WB, especially since I'm the same age as the protagonist, but while I was well aware of it, I never watched it...until recently. Now, I watched J.J. Abrams' other shows, <i>Alias</i> and <i>Lost</i>, but never this one. Yes, Felicity was created by J.J. Abrhams (and Matt Reeves). Which is so weird. This show is so different from <i>Alias</i> or<i> Lost</i>. <div><br /></div><div>Keri Russell plays Felicity Porter, a girl who has just graduated high school in Palo Alto, California. Her parents want her to go to college at Stamford and become a doctor. She decides she's going to follow her crush, Ben Covington (Scott Speedman) across the entire country to attend UNY (University of New York; not to be confused with NYU, which is a real school). She has never talked to Ben, but gets up the nerve to ask him to sign her yearbook and he writes that he wished he had known her better which makes her think that he likes her. Or something. She finds out where he's going to college and ends up there too. Now, if the genders had been switched, that would have been a little problematic. Although, it is still stalkerish behavior that she followed a boy college.</div><div><br /></div><div>Once there, she makes some new friends, including her RA, Noel Crane (Scott Foley) which turns romantic and soon there will be a love triangle between her, Ben, and Noel. And there's some other drama, of course. This show ran for four years...one for each year of Felicity's journey though college. And now onto my thoughts. Also, I'm going into this as thought you're familiar with the show. If you've never seen this show and don't want to be spoiled, maybe don't read this:</div><div><br /></div><div>1. <b>Who is Sally? </b>- As a narrative device, the show has Felicity send taped messages (yes, with a cassette tape; way to show your age, show!) to her French tutor, a woman named Sally Reardon. <i>Pardon, mais Felicity ne parle pas francais! </i>We never meet Sally, but she does send Felicity her own recordings and she is voiced by Janeane Garofalo. Sally must be a very trusted confidant because Felicity sends some of her most intimate and personal thoughts to her. Like, Sally had a lot of dirt on her! There's one particular episode where she makes a tape for Sally where she tells her what she wonder what it will like to be with a man for the first time, physically and sexually. It's so cringe. Well, guess what? There's a dorm party happening that night and somebody asks her if she has any tapes they can play at the party and she shows them where her music is (I guess she was distracted) and somehow her tape to Sally was mixed in with her regular tapes and that person (I forget who it was) grabs it, thinking it's a mixed taped? I guess. I just thought of something: why are these people playing and listening to cassette tapes? In the late '90s, I was listening to CDs. I can understand why Felicity was using the tapes to record her messages to Sally, but as for listening to music? Were we not able to burn CDs back then? I honestly don't remember. Anyway, surprise, surprise, the tape is played and everyone hears her highly embarrassing message. She shouts for someone to turn it off, but nobody does. So she just runs up and rips it out of the tape deck. Honestly, Felicity. If you have a cassette with a very personal recording on it, maybe don't keep it with your other tapes! </div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, back to Sally. I really thought we were going to meet her, perhaps in the last season, but no, we never do. In fact, it seems like after season 2, they pretty much drop Sally as a narrative device, but they do bring her back for some of the last episodes of the series, like they forget about her, then realized that maybe they should have Felicity corresponding with her again. IDK, I personally thought they should have just had Keri Russell narrate the show as Felicity. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://tvatemywardrobe.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/felicity-2-01-meghan.png?w=490&h=377" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="377" data-original-width="489" height="155" src="https://tvatemywardrobe.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/felicity-2-01-meghan.png?w=490&h=377" width="200" /></a></div>2. <b>What's in the box? </b>- Felicity's roommate is a girl named Megan who's into Wicca and she's very opinionated and isn't afraid to tell you what she thinks of you. I would describe her style as "club goth". She and Felicity are very different people and she doesn't particularly like Felicity the first two seasons, but by the end of the series, they are good friends. Anyway, Megan has a box (about the size of shoebox) and she makes it clear to Felicity in several episodes that she is never, ever to open the box. I thought for sure we were going to get a great reveal of finding out what was in the box whether it was in the last episode of season 1 or the last episode of the whole series. But we never find out what was in the damn box! Ugh! I wanted to know. Was it drugs? Was it a gun? Was it a severed finger? Was it a sex toy? Was it embezzled money? Was it a compromising video? Was it Gwyneth Paltrow's head? Honestly, none of those would have surprised me. I was just disappointed we never find out what was in the box. "What's in the box?!?!" </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://90sflashback.files.wordpress.com/2021/01/jatgp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="418" data-original-width="600" height="140" src="https://90sflashback.files.wordpress.com/2021/01/jatgp.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>3. <b>My two least favorite storylines are back-to back </b>- Ugh, yes. This came in season 3 which is probably why it took me a long time to finish that season because there were times when I would go weeks without watching an episode because these two back-to-back storylines just seemed to make the show drag on forever. So a quick set-up: we are introduced to a new character at the beginning of season 3: a British girl named Molly who makes her own clothes and is into crystals and charms or something. IDK; honestly, I could care less about this character. I felt like she added absolutely to to the show and was unnecessary; I didn't get the point of her. She's only in 14 episodes which surprised me. I guess they brought her in to replace Julie who leaves towards the beginning of season 3. Felicity, Julie, Molly, and Elena all live in this ridiculous huge apartment. Actually, I was always confused who was living where and with who at certain times because it always seemed to change. I need to see if I can find a chart to help me with that. </div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, back to the topic. Right after Julie leaves, we're about to start on the first of my most hated storylines of the show. So Felicity actually moves into this massive apartment after Julie leaves and takes her old room. She finds COCAINE in the closet! I'm thinking, Ooh! This is getting good! Who do the drugs belong to? Were they Julie's? She's got a lot on her plate concerning some drama with her biological parents that she recently found. Or perhaps they're Ben's? He's dating Felicity and staying over at the massive apartment lately now. He's got his own drama and stress to deal with. Or does it belong to one of the other roommates? Well, yes...and no. The drugs belong to Molly, but really they belong to her boyfriend, James. Who the f is James is what I asked when I first heard about him. We have never seen or heard from this "James." And for a minute I thought maybe Molly was making him up and that would have been interesting, but no, he really exists and we see him on the show and they pretty much act like he's been there the entire time. We go through this whole boring storyline where Molly is trying to quit James and the cocaine, but everytime she thinks she is done, he pulls her back in! This storyline pivots right into the next storyline I hate because while there's a party going on at the massive apartment, here comes James and he's got a gun! I guess he plans to shoot Molly? Or himself in front of Molly? IDK. But he ends up shooting some random blonde girl named Avery, and ugh, would it be in bad taste to say I wished she had stayed dead? Calm down, let's all remember she's a fictional character. Yes, Avery technically dies, but she will be brought back to life in the ambulance and Ben is there to witness it all. Avery becomes obsessed with Ben and starts buying him all these gifts and invites him to her family's beach house. Or something. (She comes from a rich family). And OMG, it is soooooo boring. Felicity, rightly, is not happy about this arrangement, but Ben tells her nothing's going on. Okay, he may believe that, but it's so obvious Avery is trying to get between the two of them. This storyline is never ending and I really wished Avery had died because she's so boring. I don't even care that much about Ben and Felicity as a couple, I was kind of hoping she would break them up, but nope. Oh, sure, they have their fights, but in the end they stay together. Finally, she just goes away. Hallelujah. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://api.time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/t100_tv_felicity1.jpg?quality=85&w=550" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="366" data-original-width="550" height="133" src="https://api.time.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/t100_tv_felicity1.jpg?quality=85&w=550" width="200" /></a></div>4. <b>Ben vs Noel </b>- So before I watched this series, I knew there was a love triangle with Felicity, Ben, and Noel. However, I was just thinking she would alternate between the two of them. Thinking back, that seems kind of weird and I don't know why I would think that. I guess I thought her time spent romantically with them would be even, but it's not. At all. She dates Noel when she's a freshman and he's a sophomore, but that is the only time she dates him. She starts dating Ben at the beginning of second season after she goes on a road trip with him during their summer after freshman year. They don't date too long as there is a little hiccup, but then they get together towards the end of the second season and they're pretty much together for the rest of the series. That isn't to say there aren't any obstacles, but there are. Obviously, Avery, is one. Another huge one is that Felicity sleeps with Noel at the beginning of season four. Felicity is stressed out because her dad doesn't support her wanting to study art and thinks she should be a doctor, Ben is stressed out because he's decided he wants to be a doctor (which to me, makes no sense, but it's a storyline, so whatever). Anyway, Felicity seeks comfort with Noel and they sleep together...she keeps it a secret from Ben even though Richard, Elena, Javier and her school therapist all know about it. (The first two are accidental, but she tells her Javier and her therapist about it). I really thought Javier was going to spill the beans, but it's actually f*cking Noel who does. Good job, Noel. So, of course Ben is pissed and they break up....but they end up getting back together towards the end of the series. But not before Ben sleeps with a woman who his dad is an AA sponsor for. She is a little older than him (she is played by Lisa Edelstein aka Dr. Cuddy from <i>House</i>) and she ends up getting pregnant. She keeps it a secret from Ben for months so he's already back with Felicity when she tells him. At first, Ben doesn't want anything to do with the baby, but then he changes his mind when he realizes how crappy his own dad was, so he wants to be there for his child. The only (only? ha!) wrinkle is that Lauren is moving to Arizona where her parents live and there's already a job lined up for her. Actually, let me hold that thought because a lot of this takes place in the finale which is a separate point I want to talk about.</div><div><br /></div><div>But back to Ben vs Noel, I honestly didn't really care who she ended up with. Hell, a part of me was hoping she would end up with Owen the art student (but not really cuz I knew it would never happen). If I were forced to choose, I would say Noel. I just think there was more potential there for a relationship, they always just seemed to have a stronger bond and Ben just seemed to be more distant. To be fair, I'm sure there would have been lots of drama with Felicity and Noel if they dated for a couple of years. Also, I find it unrealistic that this so-called nerdy girl followed the coolest and most popular boy from her high school (I honestly feel like Felicity would have been more popular than Ben, but whatever) and ended up with him. I feel like it would have been better if she had ended up with Noel. Like, she did intend to end up with Ben, but in the end, she found someone better and ended up with him. It almost ends tied up in a neat bow. </div><div><br /></div><div>5. <b>The finale</b> - So back to the whole Ben/Felicity/Lauren/impending baby of it all. Ben proposes to Felicity and she says yes. Then he decides he wants to move to Arizona to be closer to his son when he's born. So the proposal is called off. Felicity is not staying in New York, but instead will be returning home to Palo Alto where she will attend classes there to become a doctor. At UNY, she decided to change her major to art, but then after she graduates, she decides to be a doctor, after all. What a way to waste your time, Felicity. Oh, well, I suppose that is realistic. Sometimes you think you want to be one thing, but then realize it's unrealistic or won't take you very far in life, so you go with the more grounded choice. </div><div><br /></div><div>At the very end of the show, with a "Six months later" text added to the screen, Felicity is outside one of her classes and guess who comes up from behind and taps her on the shoulder? Why, it's Ben! You see, he convinced Lauren to pack up all her things and move with their baby to Palo Alto when she had a job and a support system in Arizona. Seriously, WTF, Ben? It's fine that you want to move because you want to be closer to Felicity, but why are you making your baby mama do the same thing? I found the part that Lauren and her new baby followed him was a bit unrealistic, but whatever. So Ben and Felicity go on to be doctors and live happily ever after. Whoo hoo a whoppity dee doo.</div><div><br /></div><div>But wait....I lied. That was NOT the finale. It SHOULD have been the finale. It was MEANT to be the finale (I believe), but there are still FIVE episodes left! Apparently, this is because the network needed a certain number of episodes and they were five short when they submitted the show that was meant to be the finale, so there are five more episodes and they are absolutely bonkers and insane...and we'll get to that in my next bullet point. </div><div><br /></div><div>6.<b> Time Travel</b> - Yes, you read that right. I am not sh*thing you. This show, which is grounded in reality, actually has Felicity time travel. Good f*cking lord. I don't think they even time traveled in<i> Buffy</i> and that show dealt with supernatural stuff all the time! </div><div><br /></div><div>So here's the deal: Felicity tells us how happy she is with Ben in Palo Alto. Back in New York, Noel is getting married to some girl he works with (him dating her was a boring storyline in the last season). They're supposed to go there for his wedding. But before that, two things happen, one of them pretty tragic. Apparently Elena died in a car accident when she was on her way to Columbia for med school...I'm sorry, what? Why? What was the point of killing her off? Well, it will make sense later...but it also won't. The other thing is that Felicity and Ben have made friends with a girl (I don't remember her name) in their classes and Felicity catches them MAKING OUT in the effing school library. WTF is wrong with Ben? And then later we will learn that he's been doing this for a "few months". Seriously, WTF, Ben? Ben SUCKS. He effing moved to effing California to be closer to his effing gf and this is what he effing does to her? And they STILL (spoiler alert!) end up together. Ugh! Ha! I guess I'm more Team Noel than I thought.</div><div><br /></div><div>Okay, so remember how I told you how Megan (her roommate turned good friend) is into Wicca? Well, she's dabbled in a few spells including one where she wants to make Felicity clumsy (I forget why; just to be mean, I guess) and a love spell for Felicity and Ben after Ben finds out about her sleeping with Noel. Well, both spells technically work. Felicity is clumsy and she and Ben do sleep together, but they won't get back together until later. But at least these were things that could happen in real life...whether or not a spell helped them along or not. Felicity is telling Megan that she wished she had ended up with Noel after they slept together instead of going back to Ben and Megan tells her she knows a spell for that and performs it, but Felicity just goes to sleep....and when she wakes up she's on the roof where she and Noel slept together and this is right after it happened. Okay, first of all, maybe go back before you cheat on your boyfriend so you can at least break up with him, then tell Noel how you feel. She already knows that Noel has feelings for her. But she pretty much confesses to Ben right away what happened and wants to break up with him, then tells Noel she broke up with Ben and wants to get with him. Noel is (rightly) freaked out by this and claims she's acting weird which she IS. They do start dating, but he runs into his old girlfriend, Hannah (played by Jennifer Garner...this is when <i>Alias</i> was first airing, so they must have taken a week off from filming that) and they start getting chummy again. A little too chummy that I actually thought that in the "real" timeline, she was the one he was getting married to (but it's not her). </div><div><br /></div><div>She sees Elena and gets all freaked out and happy that she's alive and of course Elena has no idea why she's acting so weird. She confesses to both Ben and Noel that she's from the future, but of course they don't believe her....UNTIL she tells Ben that his dad is going to end up in the hospital and other stuff that he wouldn't know yet and sure enough it happens so he believes her. In the back of my mind, I kept telling myself there was an explanation for all this, like surely this wasn't happening. It was all just a dream or Felicity was tripping' something big. The most hilarious part was that she told Megan about the spell she performed and Megan has no idea what she was talking about and even she didn't believe her!</div><div><br /></div><div>The finale (the actual finale) is a f*cking clip show. Oh, you have no idea how ANGRY and LIVID clip shows make me! I despise them with a passion! They're so pointless and dumb! I bet 45 minute of the show was from previous episodes! The new stuff has Felicity talking to the author of the time travel spell that Megan performed. The book isn't written yet, but somehow they find out the guy who will write it...so she goes to visit him and he believes her and tries to help her, pretty much by revising her past and this is why we a clip show for the finale. I think this is why (I'm assuming) most people just ignore all the episodes after the one where they graduate because that one feels like the finale and the rest of it is just stupid BS! </div><div><br /></div><div>In the "real" timeline, there was a fire at the school and Felicity gets trapped in the art room and Noel helps her escape. Well, in this parallel timeline, the fire still happens, only Noel dies in the fire! Which makes no sense because Felicity wasn't even there for him to save! So what was he doing that he died? I'm so confused! </div><div><br /></div><div>Okay, so anyway, in one of the last scenes, Felicity wakes up in her bed in the "real" timeline and apparently she had a big fever and dreamt all of this. So I was thinking, Oh, so it was all just a dream (a long-ass dream!) and this never happened. I'm still trying to rationalize all this. Because <i>Felicity</i> is a rational show and there should be no reason why time travel exists in its universe! And I'm saying this as someone who loves time travel sh*t! But then we see everyone at Noel's wedding (the very last scene) and Elena is there! I was so confused because in this timeline, she should be dead...so why is she there? So I went on Reddit which directed me a clip on YouTube where J.J. Abrahams says there's a deleted scene (and it is shown) where in the timeline where Felicity goes back in time, she tells Elena to go to med school at Duke instead of her first choice, Columbia. This is because Elena dies in a car accident on her way to Colombia. I mean, you can get into a car accident anywhere, but whatever. She makes Elena promise her that she'll go to Duke...which Elena does which explains why she's still alive. I mean, they couldn't put this scene in the actual show instead of the 45 minutes of clips we've already seen of this show? Dumb. Also, this means that Felicity really DID time travel, thus the reason Elena is alive when she goes back to the "real" timeline. This show...ugh....if only the stupid network (WB) had just let them end on the episode where they graduated. Let them air static at nine pm on Mondays for the next five weeks! (I don't even know what day/time <i>Felicity</i> aired). </div><div><br /></div><div>7. <b>Guest Stars</b> - John Ritter had a recurring role as Ben's dad. I already mentioned Jennifer Garner played Noel's girlfriend. (She was in a few episodes in the first season, then came back towards the end of the series. And yes, I do know she was married to Scott Foley for a minute). Although this was before she had <i>Alias</i>, so she wasn't famous yet, so I guess she was really the guest star in the last season. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://tvatemywardrobe.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/felicity-3-07-elena-and-tracy.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="463" data-original-width="616" height="150" src="https://tvatemywardrobe.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/felicity-3-07-elena-and-tracy.png" width="200" /></a></div>Donald Faison would show up pretty often in the first three season, though he wasn't a main cast member. He played Elena's boyfriend. They were pretty serious and almost get married towards the end, but don't go through with it. There's this whole storyline where his character is going to Africa to help with missionary work. Please! He wasn't going to Africa; he was going to start filming <i>Scrubs</i>!</div><div><br /></div><div>In the first season, Julie has a storyline where she's trying to find her birth mom (she's adopted and has never searched for her birth parents until now) and she does. She's played by Jane Kaczmarek and I'm thinking, Okay <i>Malcolm in the Middle</i> is going to start in filming in a year so they're going to have to wrap up her storyline. She's in a few episodes in the first season and just a handful in the second. Julie wants to meet her father, but her mom hasn't told him about her (I forget why), so she follows her to a restaurant and sees them dining. He's played by Bradley Whitford (yes, I do know he and Jane are married IRL) and he's only in that episode. This is because he was probably filming <i>The West Wing</i> by then. </div><div><br /></div><div>Tyra Banks and Keenan Thompson both had about 4-5 episode arcs in season 3 (not at the same time, though). Noel was trying to date Tyra's character, but he was being a real creep about it, He first meets her because he's a tech guy and she needs help with her computer, so he does that. While he's fixing her computer, he sees her password out in the open (not very smart of her to do that), and he uses that to open her emails to find out stuff about her. Yeah, not cool, Noel. With Keenan, he plays a character who helps Elena while she's temporarily blind (I forget why she couldn't see) and she likes him and agrees to go out with him. Then when she sees that he's overweight, she's not as enthused. Finally, she gets over that and does find out she likes him, but this is when Donald Faison comes back for a little bit and she tells Keenan's character she's going back to her former boyfriend. </div><div><br /></div><div>Lionel Richie was a guest star on one episode. I love Lionel Richie, but it was so totally random and he even doesn't get to sing. Javier and Noel are going to Atlantic City to see him in concert. Only they don't have tickets and they're all sold out (well, duh). But they do talk to him when they're in the bathroom. IDK, if you're going to approach a celebrity, maybe not do it in a bathroom. Also, I don't know how it works, but I would guess celebrity performers would have access to a private bathroom if they were performing at a large venue. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://decider.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/felicity-pixie-cut.jpg?quality=75&strip=all&w=1200" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="800" height="133" src="https://decider.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/felicity-pixie-cut.jpg?quality=75&strip=all&w=1200" width="200" /></a></div>8. <b>The Haircut</b> - I didn't watch<i> Felicity</i> in real time, but even I was aware when Keri Russell cut her hair and all the uproar it received. This happened at the very beginning of the second season. Looks, it's just hair and it will go back, but I have to agree it wasn't the most flattering. People with curly hair should not get their hair cut that short! I know because when I was younger, I had super curly hair and got it cut pretty short. Luckily, this happened the summer after first grade and not when I was in high school or college. But even at the young age, I knew I looked horrible and I still cringe when I look at photos of that time. One her hair starts growing back, it looks much better. Honestly, if they wanted Felicity to get a drastic change, they should have just had her hair straightened. Duh. That's what they do in the last season...all of a sudden her hair is straightened.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://tvatemywardrobe.files.wordpress.com/2015/06/felicity-4-20-felicity-and-ben.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="463" data-original-width="628" height="147" src="https://tvatemywardrobe.files.wordpress.com/2015/06/felicity-4-20-felicity-and-ben.png" width="200" /></a></div><br />9. <b>Dean & DeLuca</b> - Over the series, Felicity and Ben work at this coffeeshop. And this is a real place. Usually, they don't use real coffee shops in shows. Think Central Perk or Cafe Nervosa. I have heard of Dean & DeLuca, but I have never been to one, so I did some research. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">....a few moments later....</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Okay, I'm confused. From the <strike>research </strike>Googling I've done, it appears D&D was an upscale grocery store? Huh? On the show, it's a little cafe that sells coffee and snacks like brownies. So did the show make it a coffee shop and it's a grocery store in real life? Also, looks like they closed their stores a few years ago.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">10. <b>All the cheating</b> - There's a lot of cheating that goes on in this show. First, we have the cheating of people in relationships: Felicity cheats on Ben with Noel, Elena cheats on Donald Faison with her hot neighbor, Ben cheats on Felicity with that girl at their new school towards the end, and I'm sure there's other examples I'm missing. But there's also academic cheating. In the first season, Ben and Felicity are working on a paper and since his computer is acting up, she offered to spell check it for him and bring it to him to their class tomorrow. Well, she ends up more than spellchecking it...she rewrites a few passages! She rewrites enough that the teacher is suspicious and knows Ben didn't write this and therefore gets accused of not writing his own paper which is technically true. I don't know what Felicity was thinking.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Then, in the last season, Felicity has to write a paper for her art history class which will count for a big chunk of her grade Because of all the drama that's been going on in her life, she hasn't even started on it and it's due, in like, two days. Megan suggests she just go to the library and find and copy a dissertation that a graduate student wrote on a topic about art. Felicity tells her she'll get caught if she does that and Megan assures her she knows other students have done it before and never got caught (mostly cause they denied it!) She also tells her that nobody ever reads the dissertations so they'll never know. Now I would agree with Megan because those things look long and boring, but you would think her art history teacher would be familiar with any of those dissertations. (BTW, I forgot to mention in the guest stars section, her art history teacher is played by Jane Lynch. She wears very conservative skirts and blouses, so a far cry from Sue Sylvester!) Felicity ends up copying a 30 page dissertation and turning it in as her own. The next day the teacher wants to talk to her and Felicity is scared. The teacher tells her it's the best papers she's read and she wants her to present it to the school board to be published. Ha! I knew that was going to happen! In the end, Felicity confesses before it goes too far and she gets an F on the assignment, but is still able to pass the course and thus graduates. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Bonus - <b>The technology</b> - Since this show takes place between 1998-2002, the technology is quite different! First of all, nobody has a cell phone in this which is really weird. Also, everyone uses this type of Mac: <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://512pixels.net/wp-content/uploads/S3/2012-12-13-bondi-blue.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="555" data-original-width="800" height="222" src="http://512pixels.net/wp-content/uploads/S3/2012-12-13-bondi-blue.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /></div><div>Haha, remember those? I never had one...I didn't get my first Mac until 2009. But they look so bulky compared to the Mac computers of today! I do like the different colors you can choose from, though.</div><div><br /></div><div>Well that's my review (and some rants!) about Felicity. That reminds me: I need to finish watching <i>The Americans. </i></div>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-74756037277951189022023-04-20T19:44:00.001-05:002023-04-20T19:44:02.401-05:00Two and a Half Elves<div><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Onward</span></b></div><div>Director: Dan Scanlon</div><div>Voice Talent: Tom Holland, Chris Pratt, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Octavia Spencer</div><div>Released: March 6, 2020</div><div><br /></div><div>Oscar nominations:</div><div>Best Animated Picture (lost to <i>Soul</i>)</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYTU5MzhjMmItYjAzYS00ZDg2LWI3YTUtZjc5OWU4MDM1NmI1XkEyXkFqcGdeQVRoaXJkUGFydHlJbmdlc3Rpb25Xb3JrZmxvdw@@._V1_QL75_UX500_CR0,0,500,281_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="225" src="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYTU5MzhjMmItYjAzYS00ZDg2LWI3YTUtZjc5OWU4MDM1NmI1XkEyXkFqcGdeQVRoaXJkUGFydHlJbmdlc3Rpb25Xb3JrZmxvdw@@._V1_QL75_UX500_CR0,0,500,281_.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">.</span></div><div>This movie is set in a parallel universe in a town called New Mushroomton and all the residents who live there are fairy tale creatures such as elves (like our main characters), ogres, fairies, goblins, wizards, and pretty much anything you would find in a <i>Harry Potter</i> novel/movie. In this world, magic was once used, but once electricity was invented, "over time, magic faded away." With magic, you have to learn spells and it takes a discipline to perform them correctly, while with electricity, you just flip a switch on and off, so it's much easier. A lot of these mythical creatures don't use their features anymore. We see a fairy board a plane and many other winged creatures just don't fly because they haven't "exercised their wings". Unicorns are treated as pests with matted, mangy fur who rummage in the trash or hide out in caves. </div><div><br /></div><div>The movie follows the two Lightfoot brothers, high-schooler Ian (voiced by Tom Holland) and his older brother, Barley (voiced by Chris Pratt). They are elves and their mother, Laurel (voiced by Julia Louis-Dreyfus), describes Ian as being afraid of everything and Barley as being afraid of nothing. This is a pretty apt description. Ian's and Barley's father died right before Ian was born, so he doesn't remember him at all and Barley only has about three vivid memories of him. Apparently, these elves don't share the immortality of the Rivendell elves because their father died of an undisclosed sickness. </div><div><br /></div><div>It is Ian's 16th birthday and he is wearing an old sweatshirt that his dad used to wear in college. This means a great deal to him since he never knew his dad and makes him feel closer to him. Unfortunately, Barley, who can be a bit of a clumsy oaf at times, end up accidentally ripping the shoulder of the sweatshirt. Ian decides to skip breakfast at home and grab something at Burger Shire. One of my favorite jokes in the movie was the sign outside Burger Shire that read "Now serving 2nd breakfast." Okay, its been a minute since I've seen <i>The Lord of the Rings</i> trilogy and I can't remember which movie it was (the first one, I think), but I love it when Merry/Pippin asks, "What about second breakfast?" They eat second breakfast? That is hilarious! So, yes, I appreciated that joke. </div><div><br /></div><div>While Ian is waiting for his food, he meets an elf who knew Ian's father in college (his name was on his old sweatshirt that Ian was wearing) and he tells Ian his father was someone who people always noticed and was very bold, so basically the opposite of Ian. Ian is grateful that he's learned this new information about his dad and it inspires him to make a checklist titled "New Me." Earlier, his mother had told him that his birthday was a good start to try new things. On his list, he writes, "Speak up more", "Learn to drive", "Invite people to party", and "Be like Dad." </div><div><br /></div><div>We will see him attempt these as he attends his classes at New Mushroomton High School that day, In one of his classes, a huge ogre student (like, he's probably four times bigger than Ian) sits behind Ian, but he also putt his huge green sandal-wearing foot on Ian's chair which means Ian barely has any room to sit (good thing he's skinny!) Ian speaks up and asks the ogre if he would not put his foot on his seat, but the ogre just replies he needs to do in order to keep the blood circulating to his brain. When Ian is taking his driver's lesson for the day, he gets too scared to merge and doesn't complete his driving task for the day. I do love that the stop signs in this world say "Halt" in a fancy, Medieval-like font. </div><div><br /></div><div>So now he's zero for two on his list. At the end of the school day, he gets up the courage to invite a group of students (who seem to know him). It's super awkward the way he invites them because he's hemming and hawing and can't seem to spit the invitation out, but once they realize he's inviting them to a party, they agree to come. Ian suggests they take the bus to his house. It seems like Ian might actually get to check a box off his list, but here comes Barley driving erratically in his purple van he's named Guinevere with a unicorn painted on the side. In fact, the movie gets its name because Barley has covered the "D" on the gearshift and replaced it with a piece of tape that says "O", which he says is for Onward. When he sees that Ian has friend coming over, he tells his brother that he can take them all in his car. An embarrassed Ian quickly tells the others he just remembered his party was cancelled and scampers away, leaving them confused. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.denofgeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/onward.jpg?fit=1303%2C734" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="451" data-original-width="800" height="113" src="https://www.denofgeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/onward.jpg?fit=1303%2C734" width="200" /></a></div>Once he gets home, he strikes out all the things on the list. His mom can sense that he is blue, so she tells him she has a gift for him and Barley from their dad. She was told to give it to him once they were both over sixteen. Technically, Ian is not "over sixteen" as he just turned sixteen that day. That could be the reason things go a little haywire. But it's probably just a writer's mistake. </div><div><br /></div><div>Their gift looks to be rolled up, almost like a carpet. Once it's unrolled, they find a wooden staff. Barley think this means their dad was a wizard, but Laurel is quick to tell them he was an accountant, something I'm sure they both already knew. Ian finds a note where their dad tells them there was once magic, but it faded away and hopes there is magic still in them. He wrote downtime Visitation Spell so his sons can perform it and he will be able to see who his sons grew up to be. The spell will bring their dad back "for one whole day." Along with the spell, he has also included the Phoenix Gem, which is very rare. (Makes you wonder where he found it, doesn't it? They never tell us). Barley places the gem in the staff and starts reciting the spell, but nothing happens. He keeps reciting it, but still nothing happens. </div><div> </div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/413b4bb8b9b8e8a8d8ca32aca35831f4f8e0aded/1328_0_4288_2574/master/4288.jpg?width=1200&height=900&quality=85&auto=format&fit=crop&s=9aeb992570fb632dbabb6ec19990425c" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="800" height="150" src="https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/413b4bb8b9b8e8a8d8ca32aca35831f4f8e0aded/1328_0_4288_2574/master/4288.jpg?width=1200&height=900&quality=85&auto=format&fit=crop&s=9aeb992570fb632dbabb6ec19990425c" width="200" /></a></div>A defeated and depressed Ian goes to his room. He has taken the staff with him and he decides to try the spell. This time the Phoenix Gem begins to light up. Barley hears the commotion and comes to is room. They both see feet and legs appear out of thin air, then the gem breaks and the spell is done and they're only left with the bottom half of their father. Yeah, it's super weird. The very top of the bottom half just has some glowing light emitting from it. And even though this pair of legs has no brain to tell it what to do, this half-body seems to be sentient. Sure, it can't see or hear, but it still seems to understand what's going on. For instance, in an earlier scene, we had learned that one of Barley's memories with his dad was playing the drums on his father's shoes. Sure, its' a bit odd, but, as you will see, it will come back in this scene when Barley does just that and his half-dad seems to understand it's him. So even though their dad doesn't have a brain, they do have a way of communicating with him. </div><div><br /></div><div>Barley tells Ian, "A person can only do magic if they have the gift" and he is thrilled that Ian "has the magic gift." My question is, why didn't thy have Ian try after all those failed attempts from Barley? I know, I know, it's for the plot of the movie. They need to get Laurel out of the house (she's picking up Ian's cake) for the next stage of the movie to happen. Ian may have the "magic gift", but he hasn't honed his skills. (Though to be fair, he is just a beginner. Like a literal beginner). They need to perform the spell again before the twenty-four hour time limit is up to see all of their dad. They just need to find another Phoenix Gem, you know, that gem is super rare and hard to find. No problem! (I still want to know where their dad found his Phoenix Gem). </div><div><br /></div><div>Barley is obsessed with this board game called Quest of Yore, which is like Dungeons and Dragons? I guess? IDK, I've never played D&D. It's a board game where you go on adventures and there are cards that correlate to actual things and people in the real world. (Well, their real world). Barley's game has a card that gives stats about the Phoenix Gem which basically tells them to start at the place where all quests begin, The Manticore's Tavern because the owner knows where to find anything they'll need. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://s2.dmcdn.net/v/S6vSB1Vo1-NLoYAJm/x1080" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="448" data-original-width="800" height="112" src="https://s2.dmcdn.net/v/S6vSB1Vo1-NLoYAJm/x1080" width="200" /></a></div>They leave a note for their mom which reads "Be back with mind blowing surprise!!" and Ian creates a "top half" for this dad which includes a sweatshirt, puffer vest, gloves, and a "head" with sunglasses and a hat. They control him with a string wrapped around his waist and it's attached to a pulley thing where they can decide how much they need. (I don't know the right word, but you know what I'm talking about, hopefully). It gave me <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/search?q=weekend+at+">Weekend at Bernie's</a> vibes. </div><div><br /></div><div>While they drive to the Manticore's Tavern, Ian has created a new list of things he wants to do with his dad which includes "Play catch", "Take a walk", "Heart to Heart", "Laugh together," "Driving Lesson", and "Share my life with him." Even if he did have the allotted twenty-four hours with his dad, I still think he wouldn't have time to do all those things with him. It is a very sweet list, though. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://i0.wp.com/pixarpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/c67e5-pixar-onward-manticore.jpg?resize=1200%2C503&ssl=1" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="335" data-original-width="800" height="84" src="https://i0.wp.com/pixarpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/c67e5-pixar-onward-manticore.jpg?resize=1200%2C503&ssl=1" width="200" /></a></div>They reach the Manticore's Tavern which is one of those medieval-themed restaurants. The Manticore aka Corey (voiced by Octavia Spencer) is the manager. I have to admit, I had never heard of a Manticore before. It has a body of a lion, the (poisonous!) tail of a scorpion, and the head of a human. The drawings of this online looks super freaky....there's something uncanny about half-human, half-animal creatures. I don't like it! Luckily, for this character they give her a lion head (to match the rest of her body, except for the tail, of course) and they don't give her a weird elf or fairy head. This manticore also has wings and horns on her head (according to my research, a manticore can also have wings and/or be horned and she has both). When the brothers ask her about the Phoenix Gem, she just gives them a children't menu with puzzles and games on it. The main puzzle is a word scramble where you will uncover where the gem is. Barley asks if she has the real map and she points to it where it's hanging on a wall and he proceeds to take it down, but she tells him she can't take it. It just makes me laugh imagining someone walking into a restaurant and taking something off the wall...like, what are you doing? </div><div><br /></div><div>Ian gets up the courage to talk to her and that's when she realizes she's been living a lie and that her life is boring and she needs adventure. We will learn later that she hasn't exercised her wings in a long time so she never flies and has come to live a mundane life. She ends up roaring and starts a fire (oh did I mention that she breathes fire?) The map ends up burning and they are unable to save it (guess they don't have a spell for reversing fire damage). In the car, Barley had told Ian that he was gonna have to practice his magic before he cast the spell again. Ian had been practicing a spell where he's supposed to levitate objects (no, not <i>Wingardium Leviosa</i>, but rather <i>Aloft Elevar</i>), but no matter how many times he tries, nothing happened. But now is he able to save his father's legs by being crushed by a falling burning beam by performing the spell and this time it works. I guess when you're under pressure and you're trying to save something, you have more agency in your magical capabilities. Just a guess. Makes sense to me. </div><div><br /></div><div>The Lightfoots (Lightfeet?) make it safely back to the van. Even though the real map has burned, Barley had grabbed a children's menu. As he tells his brother, "On a quest, you have use what you've got And this is what we've got." Luckily he grabbed a menu where the word scramble had already been solved by a child patron and the answer to where to find the Phoenix Gem was "Raven's Point." They look at their road map and it shows that location in the mountains. They won't be able to get there until the next morning, but Barley tells Ian that they will still have plenty of time with their dad. Eh, I don't know about that. </div><div><br /></div><div>Looking at the map, Ian tells Batley that the expressway should take them right there, but Barley thinks that's a little too obvious. He tells his little bro, "On a quest, the clear path is never the right one." Obviously, he's quoting from his favorite game. He thinks they should take "an ancient trail called the Path of Peril." The 'Path of Peril'? Are you kidding me? No, thanks. I'm with Ian: taking the expressway will be faster. That's why they call it the expressway. It seems like Barley just wants to have an adventure like his game and it's pretty obvious that we're going to find out Barley was right all along, but in the end, he agrees with Ian and take the expressway. </div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Laurel had found the Phoenix Gem card lying on a table next to the note Barley had scribbled so so heads to the Manticore's Tavern which is now ablaze. She talks to Corey who tells her she told her sons about the gem, the map, and the curse, but then realizes she forgot to tell them about the curse. When giving her statement to a police officer, se says, "Last name Manticore, first name, The." This joke has been used many times, but it never fails to make me laugh. Laurel sees the smallest scratch on the Manticore and tells the cop she needs to give her first aid and when the cop turns his back, they both get in Laurel's car and she drives away. </div><div><br /></div><div>Corey tells Laurel about the curse and that if her sons take the gem, "the curse will rise up and assume the form of a mighty beast and battle [them]." Her enchanted sword, The Curse Crusher, is the only weapon "forged with the rarest metal can destroy it." Unfortunately, she sold it to a pawn shop because she "got in a little tax trouble a few years back" (heh), but at least she knows where to find it. </div><div><br /></div><div>Later, they will arrive at a strip mall where the pawn shop is located. Other shops in this area also include "Mystic Donuts", "Master Froyo", "Sir Snipz a Lot", and "Sword and the Scone." I'm sure the writers had a lot of fun with these! The proprietor of the pawn shop is a small female goblin voice by Tracey Ullman. She finds the sword and is willing to sell it to them for ten bucks, but then Corey (in a very stupid move) exclaims that it's made of rare metals and the only sword of its kind in all the land, so of course she ups the price to ten thousand dollars (or whatever currency they use). When Corey asks the goblin store owner if she knows who she is, the goblin replies, "Some kind of winged bear-snake lady?" and Corey corrects her: "Winged lion-scorpion lady!" </div><div><br /></div><div>We get a hilarious scene where Laurel starts explaining and pleading to the goblin why she needs the sword, but Corey just stings her in the neck and she falls down, "only temporarily paralyzed" as she explains to Laurel. They grab the sword and Laurel still pays her the original price, plus a little extra "for her troubles." </div><div><div><br /></div></div><div>I should mention that Laurel is dating a police officer named Colt Bronco who is a centaur. It's a great name for someone who is half horse, but it makes me squeamish that this elf has a romantic relationship with a centaur. It makes me think of when I was reading<i> Harry Potter</i> and we discovered that Hagrid's dad was a human and his mom was a giant (or was it the other way around?) It's like...how did they, uh, create Hagrid? I assume there was some magic involved there, but still. Eww, I don't want to think about that. There is a scene later on in the movie where it makes sense why they made Colt a centaur. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://thecriticalcritics.com/review/wp-content/images/onward-still-1-1160x480.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="331" data-original-width="800" height="83" src="https://thecriticalcritics.com/review/wp-content/images/onward-still-1-1160x480.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Back on the quest, Ian begins to strike things off his list because he sadly knows they're not going to have time to do everything he wants to with his dad. The van starts sputtering and breaks down, so they pull over. Barley says they need gas. Even though the fuel gauge says it's full, Bartley tells Ian that doesn't work. Uh, that's not good. If your fuel gauge is always on full, your brain is always going to assume it's full and you'll never know when to fill it up unless you just make yourself do it at least once a week. They get out of the van and Barley gets a gas can out. At least he's smart enough to carry gas around with him in times like this, except for the fact that there are only a few drops left. Ian asks if there's any way they can fix the car by magic and Barley thinks he should try the Growth Spell. He thinks if they grow the can, the gas inside will grow with it. I agree with Ian when he says, "That's kind of a weird idea." </div><div><br /></div><div>Barley tells him the Growth Spell is a bit more advanced and he has to follow a magic decree: "It's a special rule that keeps the spell working right." This means he can't let anything distract him while he's eating the spell. He does the spell (with some "helpful" tips from Barley, but they end up distracting him) and the can remains the same size. There is a hilarious reveal where we hear Barley, in a squeaky voice exclaim, "It worked! The can is huge!" Then we see that Barley himself is tiny. I honestly don't know how that happened since Ian never pointed his wand nowhere near Barley, but he must have gotten mixed up with the spell when he was interfering. It doesn't take long before Barley realizes what happens and tells Ian there are consequences if he messes up a spell, but luckily the side effects will wear off eventually. </div><div><br /></div><div>They are able to find gas and Barley eventually becomes his normal size. While they were at the gas station, they come across this gang of pixies who are driving motorcycles (each motorcycle needs about ten pixies to control it since someone needs to push the gas pedal and someone needs to steer. These pixies may be little, but they are tough! If you look at them the wrong way, watch out! Little Barley gets in a fight with them (unintentional on his part, but they got super offended when he asked them why they just didn't use their wings and fly) and end up chasing the elves on the expressway. Of course, Barley is too small to drive, so Ian has to. With some help from Barley, he manages to merge onto the expressway and fight off the pesky pixies. During all this, Barley changes back to his regular self. They are pulled over for speedings and while their dad (their half dad?) stumbles out, looking like he's intoxicated, Barley confers with Ian and tells him to do a disguise spell and that he can disguise himself to be anyone he wants: "Disguising yourself is a lie, so you must tell the truth to get by." As long as he doesn't tell a lie, the spell will be fine. </div><div><br /></div><div>While the two police officers (voiced by Ali Wong and Lena Waithe) are about to take their dad to the station, Ian disguised as Colt Bronco comes out. Remember when I said there was a reason for Colt being a centaur? Well, this is it. While Ian is disgusting the front of Colt, Barley is behind him, crouched down, disguised at the back. I guess centaurs need two people to disguise them, like they're a Halloween costume or something? :::Shrug::: Okay, whatever. He starts out telling a lie when the other two officers told him they thought he was working the other end of town and he tells them he changed his mind. This makes "Colt's" ear change into Ian's elf ear. He tries to hide it by moving is neck and tells them he has a neck cramp which further complicates things by changing "Colt's" hand into Ian's original elf hand. Barley tells him he has to stop lying and to "answer every question with a question." I guess they cops can't hear Barley. Ian takes his advice and things start going more smoothly. That is, until one of the cops tells Colt that Laurel's eldest son is a screwup. "Colt" says he does't agree with her, but then one of his horse legs changes to Ian's skinny denim-clad leg, and of course Barley sees this so he knows his brother is lying and agrees with this harsh statement. This makes Ian become flustered and he starts lying more and rapidly starts changing back to his elf self. One cop just laughs it off, but the other is suspicious and calls dispatch to have her put through to Officer Bronco. </div><div><br /></div><div>There is awkward silence in the van as they continue their journey. Ian tells him he doesn't think he's a screwup and perhaps the magic got it wrong. Barley pulls over and tells Ian that he doesn't think he (Barley) has any good ideas. Ian tries to deny this and when Barley tells him he thinks they should take the Path of Peril, Ian replies, "I think that would be good, normally..but this isn't a game. All that matters today is Dad." It's at that moment they notice their father's legs dancing in the back of the van to the music on the radio that was still turned on. Even though he can't hear the music, he "can feel the vibrations of the music." After some fun dancing with their dad, Ian finally agrees to take the Path of Peril. When Barley takes the turn onto a bumpy gravely road though a bunch of scary trees, the rear bumper with the license plate that says "Gwniver" falls off. Gee, I wonder if this will help somebody who's looking for them? Oh, yep, I was right. Here come Colt and he sees and recognizes the license plate so he follows the path. </div><div><br /></div><div>It's now the next morning and Barley and Ian have come to "the bottomless pit", this huge gap in the middle of nowhere. Barley almost drove right into it because he had turned to talk to Ian. It's like, look where you're going! Luckily Ian screamed at him to stop. As Ian is standing very, very close to the edge, Barley tells him, "Whatever falls in there, falls forever." Hmm, I'd be telling him to "back it up!" Their father's legs, who they don't have the leash around, starts walking and actually walks off the edge of the cliff and his sons catch him. Yikes! A bunch of pebbles fall instead. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://d23.com/app/uploads/2020/01/1180w-600h_11420_onward-feature-780x440-1579020793.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="440" data-original-width="780" height="113" src="https://d23.com/app/uploads/2020/01/1180w-600h_11420_onward-feature-780x440-1579020793.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>An ancient drawbridge is on the other side as well as the lever. I laughed when Barley says to look for a lever and Ian goes, "Found it!" and points to the other side of the gap. He tries to lift it with magic, but the magic doesn't reach it. Barley tells him he can't cast a levitation spell on something that far away because it only has a "15-meter enchanting radius." He suggests a "Trust Bridge" which will create a magical bridge he can walk on. The only catch is, the bridge is invisible! Barley informs him he won't know if the bridge if there util he steps on it! And if he "believes the bridge is there, then it's there." There's a lot of psychological persuasion going on here. You basically have to psych yourself up to believe you are walking on a bridge when there is nothing literally there! Ian does not feel confident about this plan and I don't blame him. Barley ties a rope around Ian's waist and the other end around a big rock, but tells Ian he doesn't need the rope because he believes he can use the magic without it. The first try, Ian steps off the ledge and immediately falls. Thank God he had the rope! I don't know if I'd want to try that again after experiencing that! After Barley pulls him back up, he points out that since Ian now knows the worst that can happen, there's nothing to be scared of. Although I would argue that the worst that could happen is if the rope untied and he kept falling indefinitely. I wonder if there's a spell to course correct that? </div><div><br /></div><div>Ian takes a deep breath and tries the spell again. This time he steps out onto nothing and the spell words. However, on his second step, he begins to fall, but Barley pulls him back up with the rope and reminds him to "believe with every step." Ian does this and he is able to make it halfway across...and that's when the rope unties from his back. All I could think was thank God the rope didn't until when he first fell! I'm honestly surprised Ian didn't notice the rope wasn't still tied around him, but perhaps he was concentrating so hard on making himself believe he was walking on a bridge that he didn't even notice. Barley has this horrified expression on his face and he tells his brother to just keep going and look straight ahead, and not to look back. I think this would be good advice even if the rope was still tied to him. Ian exclaims, "This is amazing!" He asks Barley if he still has the rope and Barley says he does. Yes, good answer. And this is a perfect example of when it's alright to lie! </div><div><br /></div><div>Ian is so overconfident because he thinks he has the rope and the magic is working perfectly. He says how alive and amazing he feels and that he could stay out there all day and starts dancing. Not surprisingly, this is making Barley anxious and he reminds his little brother to keep moving and to remember they're there for their dad (did I just use they're, there, and their all in one fell swoop?) and to get as much time with him as possible. By this time, Ian is one step away from reaching there other side of the huge gap and says he's taking his last step for their time. When he says that, he looks back and sees Barley holding the rope. This causes the magic to break and he starts falling. Very luckily, he is able to catch a protruding stone and pull himself up. Thank goodness he didn't look back earlier! His confidence drained, he lowers the drawbridge and Barley drives his van across. He notices a large stone raven atop the bridge and thinks thats significant since the clue said "Raven's Point." The raven is literally pointing with its beak towards the side of the gap where they just came from. From there, they can see another raven statue that's also pointing in that direction. Bailey thinks this will lead them to their gem. If I were Ian, I would be a little irked that I walked across that gap for nothing </div><div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://preview.redd.it/soku7qu8few41.jpg?auto=webp&s=dc7d27198a555e0da66ffef6717de02c8b2cfa82" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="416" height="144" src="https://preview.redd.it/soku7qu8few41.jpg?auto=webp&s=dc7d27198a555e0da66ffef6717de02c8b2cfa82" width="200" /></a></div>But before they can continue on, here comes Colt in his police car. (Yeah, he found the license plate hours after the brothers took the Path of Peril). Barley explains to him what's going on and Colt tells them he's not going to let them upset their mother anymore and tells them to get in their car and he'll escort them home. Ian readily agrees and takes the keys from Barley and gets in the driver's seat with Barley in the passenger seat. I guess Colt didn't know about Ian's trepidation of driving because he doesn't question it. Once the brothers are in the van, Ian guns it before Colt is even back in his car. Colt immediately calls for backup. </div><div><br /></div><div>He keeps driving before they find themselves trapped on the side of a cliff. On one side, there's a steep drop and they're barricaded from the other side because cop cars are driving towards them The backup Colt called for sure showed up quick! Barley tells Ian to do the "Arcane Lighting" spell, which is one of the harder spells but he thinks Ian is ready. He wants Ian to use his magic to dislodge two huge boulders that are up in the mountain and have them block the road. Ian tries this a couple times, but he is unsuccessful. The cops are getting closer, so Barley goes to another plan. He takes a big rock and puts it on the gas pedal and puts Guinevere in "O" and lets her drive towards the cop. What happens next seems a little too precise; like there's no way he would know that his plan would work: the van drives up a slanted rock and flies towards the big boulder and crashes into it, thus breaking the boulder an it falls to the ground to block the path like they had originally planned. Like, WTF? That is the luckiest thing to have happened. </div><div><br /></div><div>Now they are able to continue without any cop interference and they keep following the raven statues. They do this for awhile until they come to a raven statue where the beak is pointing towards the ground. Ian takes a little stone tablet that is inserted in the bird and it has a symbol etched into it that indicates water as well as an "X". They go into a cave where they follow a river. Barley thinks the gem will where the river ends. Ian is (rightfully so) worried that the river could go on for miles. (I guess they don't have a map for where they are so they can't determine long long the river is). He checks his watch and we see they have a little over five hours before their dad will be completely gone forever. </div><div><br /></div><div>Barley suggests that Ian use a Velocity Spell to make them speed down the river really fast. There's not much to float on, but he's been eating Cheeto-like snacks, so Ian makes one of them bigger and they float on that. (Barley also occasionally munches on it, and, not gonna lie, I would probably do the same thing. At one point, the boat doesn't seem to be going that fast, but this is when Ian and Barley are having a heart to heart when Barley is telling him about a memory with their dad he's never shared with Ian: when their dad was sick and hooked up to a bunch of tubes, Barley was supposed to say goodbye, but he was too scared to go in the room because their dad didn't look like himself. He tells Ian, "That's when I decided I was never gonna be scared ever again." </div><div><br /></div><div>They reach the point where the water stops and it's almost like they're in a video game where they have to dodge a bunch of traps. After all they, they come out out a manhole and are in their own town, right across the street from Ian's school. They're right back where they started. Ian is irate. He thinks theme was in the mountains the whole time and points out they could have had it hours ago if they had just stayed on the expressway. Ian calls Barley a screwup and tells him he's screwed up his chance of meeting their dad. He walks away with their dad and tells Barley he's gonna "spend what little time [they] have left with [him]." Barley tells him they can still find the Phoenix Gem if they keep looking, but Ian is having none of it. He takes his dad to some rocks overlooking the water and takes out his checklist and crosses out "heart to heart" and "laugh together." He's about to cross out "driving lesson", but pauses and realizes he did have a driving lesson, only it was with Barley. He checks the box next to it. He then has an epiphany that he has shared many, if not all, of these items on his checklist with Barley. We see a flashback of them growing up together and Ian checks the box next to "share my life with him." Damnit, movie, stop making me cry! </div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, Barley is at a fountain/statue across the street from the school. He has climbed on top of it and notices there's an insert that perfectly fits the stone tablet. He puts it in and the Phoenix Gem is revealed. He takes it and red smoke starts to appear and soon covers everything around the vicinity. The smoke goes into the school and starts ripping away the stones and bricks and other material that makes up the building. A dragon is formed, made out of all these materials. It uses the face of the dragon mascot painted on the side of the school. It's a little unsettling because the face of the dragon is smiling and looks like a friendly kids show TV character, but it's also kinda funny. By this time Ian and their dad have walked back towards Barley and he sees what's going on. The dragon starts chasing Barley as he runs and he throws the gem because he knows that's what the dragon wants, only it was a decoy - it was the headlight from his car.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ewTpYZcB4wg/hqdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="480" height="150" src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ewTpYZcB4wg/hqdefault.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>By this time, Laurel shows up, wielding the sword and riding on the back of Corey, who's flying. (They got into a bit of a car accident and thats why they flew). She tells her sons that she'll take care of the dragon and they should go see their dad. And that's exactly what they do as Laurel and Corey try to weaken the dragon, which includes cutting off its wings. Ian starts to apologize to Barley, but he tells him there's no time and we see that the sun is about to set. The only problem is, while Laurel was trying to stab the core of the dragon (aka the heart), she got tossed off he dragon and it's now heading towards her sons. She yells to warn them and Barley tells Ian that he'll go distract it. When Ian tells him he'll miss seeing their Dad, he replies, "It's okay. Say hi to Dad for me." And this is what you think is going to happen. After all, it makes sense for Ian to be the one to meet their father since he never got that chance. But then Ian tells him he (Barley) should be the one to stay because he himself "had someone who looked out for [him]. Someone who pushed [him] to be more than [he] ever thought [he] could be. [He] never had a dad, but [he] always had [Barley]." Seriously, movie, STOP making me cry! Before Barley can even rely, he takes his staff and runs off towards the dragon He pretty much uses all the spells he's learned and used in the past twenty-four hours to try to defeat the dragon. Unfortunately, he gets thrown back and his magical staff is thrown in the water. </div></div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, their dad is still manifesting. This seems to be taking very long time. No wonder people didn't like using magic once electricity was discovered. It reminds me of when I used AOL back in the day and it took forever to log on. Ian is able to create a new wand from a splinter in his hand that he got from the old one. This time he is able to defeat the dragon and rocks fly everywhere and Ian is covered in a pile of rocks. He's okay, but he's a bit trapped so there's no time for him to get to his dad. All he can do is watch from a small crevice where he can see Barley and the back of his fully formed father. He is also able to see the sun is getting very close to setting. We are seeing this happen all through Ian's perspective. We can't hear what Barley and his dad saying, we just can tell that they're talking, then laughing, then his dad gives him a hug, and yep, once again, I'm crying. Thanks, Pixar. </div><div><br /></div><div>A moment later, Barley helps Ian up from the rocks and when Ian asks him what their dad said, he replies, "He said he's very proud of the person you grew up to. be" and Ian tells him he owes that to him (Barley). Barley also adds that their dad told hive to "give [him] this" and proceeds to hug Ian. My question is, did their father know why Ian couch't be there? Did he know what was going on? I know he was there the entire time, but at the same time, he wasn't because he couldn't hear or see anything. But did he realize what the entire journey was about with just him legs? We see them talking a little, but I doubt Barley had enough time to explain and probably wanted to spend the precise time he did have with his dad not explaining things. Also, can't they just do this spell again or does it only one work once you use it on someone? OMG, does anyone remember remember that episode of <i>Buffy</i> where Dawn used a spell to bring Joyce back, but Buffy stops her right before Joyce comes to the door? You see her silhouette and it is the creepiest thing. Also, after I read Pet <i>Semetary</i> years ago, I could not let my cat sleep in my bed for a week because I was so freaked out by the cat that came back from the dead in that book. Yeah, not a fan of bringing things back from the dead! But at least in this movie, it wasn't creepy. </div><div><br /></div><div>So the brothers became closer than they ever were before and everyone is happy. It makes me wonder if this is the brother version of <i>Frozen</i>? Barley now has a new van he's fixed up and Ian can make it fly and the movie ends with the two of them flying down the neighborhood. I was half expecting for one of them to say, "Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads!" I mean, this was literally the same ending to <i>Back to the Future! </i></div>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-57776122841034165402023-04-05T15:05:00.000-05:002023-04-05T15:05:23.554-05:00Volcano<div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Dante's Peak</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Director: Roger Donaldson</div><div style="text-align: left;">Cast: Pierce Bronsan, Linda Hamilton</div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: February 7, 1997</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://assets.mubicdn.net/images/film/49793/image-w1280.jpg?1445908057" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="226" src="https://assets.mubicdn.net/images/film/49793/image-w1280.jpg?1445908057" width="400" /></a></div><p>I wanted to do a double feature and review this movie along with <i>Volcano</i> since both these movies came out the same year and are both about erupting volcanoes (much like I did with <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2016/10/its-end-of-world-as-we-know-it.html">Armageddon and Deep Impact</a>), but I couldn't find <i>Volcano</i> on any streaming services and I would have to rent it if I wanted to watch it. I've never seen <i>Volcano</i> before (and this was my first time watching <i>Dante's Peak</i>), but I have a a feeling it's not worth paying to see! So, therefore, you're only getting my review of<i> Dante's Peak. </i>So I won't be able to tell you which movie is worse.</p><p>In <i>Dante's Peak</i>, we have one of the most forced relationships between Linda Hamilton's and Pierce Bronsan's characters. These two have no chemistry and I don't know why we're worried about making a romance happen when a damn volcano is about to erupt! Okay, I can kinda understand if they might form romantic feelings for each other because he (spoiler alert) does help save her and her children from the volcano and they go through the traumatic experience together, but they're trying to make them a romantic pairing even before all this even happens and they've only known each other for a couple days! </p><p>Rachel Wando (Hamilton) is the mayor of Dante's Peak, Washington. (Before seeing this, I had just assumed Dante was the name of the volcano, hence the title of the movie). Dante's Peak has the distinct pleasure of being the second best place to live in the United States with a population of under 20,000. I want to know which town under 20,000 was voted as the best place to live. This is a very popular touristy place; I guess people like to go camping and hiking here and it is a beautiful part of the country. Even though they have Linda Hamilton in this movie, she has nothing to do besides be a mother to her two children and a potential love interest for Bronsan's character. I don't get it. You have <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2012/08/i-survived-august-29-1997and-didnt-even.html">bad-ass Sarah Connor</a> in your action movie and you don't even let her do anything? Oh, wait, she gets to pour and hand out coffee. You see, besides being the mayor, she also runs a coffee shop. The hell? Doesn't she have enough responsibilities with being the mayor of a small town, not to mention a single mother to two children? I realize this is a small town, but you'd think she'd be pretty busy with that. Guess not! </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.cautionspoilers.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Screen-Shot-2020-10-15-at-18.04.13-1024x431.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="337" data-original-width="800" height="85" src="https://www.cautionspoilers.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Screen-Shot-2020-10-15-at-18.04.13-1024x431.png" width="200" /></a></div>Bronsan plays Harry Dalton, a scientist who works for the United States Geological Survey. He studies volcanoes and such. We get some backstory that he lost his girlfriend (or maybe fiancee or wife, who can remember) when a volcano erupted about four years ago and she was killed by debris. He has come to Dante's Peak to study the volcano and make sure it's not going to explode anytime soon. It is a dormant volcano that is very close to the town. I don't remember if they told us the last time it exploded, but I'm guessing it's due soon so that's why they sent in the experts. <p></p><p>As though Mayor Wando's schedule isn't already full, she's the one to drive Harry to the volcano. Her mother-in-law, Ruth, lives in a cabin near the foot of the volcano. I'm not really sure what happened to Rachel's ex-husband. They make it sound like he just left them. Kind of awkward for the mother-in-law. She still has a relationship with her grandchildren, but she's got to face the woman who her son left every time they visit. Rachel's kids, Graham (about 13) and Lauren (about 10) are your typical annoying Hollywood movie kids. Graham is a little rebel and likes to hide out in the mines with his friends (and when Rachel goes to pick him up, I knew these mines would come back in the movie, and wouldn't you know it, I was right!) The minute Lauren meets Harry, she's already asking if he's married and has kids. Pry much, little girl? </p><p>Once they get to Grandma's house, Graham and Lauren are already in their bathing suits, ready to jump into the hot springs. On their way there, Harry starts noticing signs that things are amiss. If you thought the dead trees and the dead squirrels were the worst of it, you thought wrong! In an earlier scene, we see two young out-of-towners who are about to get it on in the hot springs and after the woman exclaims how hot it is, we see lava (I assume, as it was red) spurt from beneath their feet. Graham is about to run and jump in the water (even if the water isn't boiling hot to cook you alive, is it still a good idea to run and jump into hot springs? No, I don't think so). Luckily, at the very last second, and I mean the very last second, Harry is there to grab Graham right before he can leap to his death. You see, Harry already knows something isn't right and his instincts are right when they see the two young adults face down, all bloated and dead in the water. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-U7hW25YYyB8/Vb3zuIp_HkI/AAAAAAAAlZg/C5E9OTXopfo/s640/Dante%2527s%2BPeak%2B-%2Bcast.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="271" data-original-width="640" height="136" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-U7hW25YYyB8/Vb3zuIp_HkI/AAAAAAAAlZg/C5E9OTXopfo/s320/Dante%2527s%2BPeak%2B-%2Bcast.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Harry tells his boss, Paul, that he thinks it's dangerous and they need to evacuate the town, but Paul doesn't <br />think anything is wrong and he doesn't want to panic anybody. Look, I understand about now wanting to start a panic, but isn't it better to be safe than sorry? Though this is a tourist town and if they have to close shop, they will lose money. And you know, money is more important than human life. (For the record, I'm being sarcastic there). <p></p><p>Harry and another volcanologist (named Terry; really movie? Harry and Terry?) are inspecting the rim of the volcano and they have brought along a machine (made by NASA if I remember right) that can measure the seismic activity. Or something. Paul and the other volcanologists are watching all this from their headquarters on the ground on a monitor. Terry sends the robot machine (named ELF which stands for Extreme Low Frequency) a few feet down the crater so it can do its thing. Unfortunately, it gets stuck and Terry needs to go down to get it. He is attached to a rope and Harry tells him he doesn't think this is a good idea, but Terry isn't going to lose this expensive machinery. I predicted that either he was going to die or nothing at all was going to happen and he would be fine and this would just be a fake-out. Well, I was wrong on both counts. He neither dies, but nothing goes smoothy, either. Once he's down, he unclips the rope (I guess it makes it easier to get ELF). Of course, once he does that, a rock slide happens and at first I thought he got completely buried by rocks, but one of his legs get pinned and Harry has to go down and help him. He calls for a helicopter to come get them. Terry has a broken leg, but other than that he'll survive there rest of the movie. (Hope that wasn't a spoiler!) </p><p>From the reading they got from the machine, Paul determines there is no imminent threat of a volcano. Look, I don't know exactly how volcanoes work, but you think there would be some sign of impending doom. (Spoiler alert: there will be an eruption in the near future!) All the volcanologists will be leaving to go back home tomorrow. </p><p>The night before he's to leave, Harry goes to say goodbye to Rachel (and I think he wants to do more than just say good-bye). While they're embracing, Lauren calls for her mother, asking her to bring some water. The water that comes out of the tap is nasty and brown. Harry asks Rachel to take him to the town's water supply and he finds that the water has been contaminated with sulfur dioxide. He goes to Paul's cabin, banging on his door in the middle of the night and tells him he now has proof that the volcano is in danger of blowing. Now is when Paul gives permission for Harry to put the town on alert. "On alert"? WTF? How about we start evacuating everyone? </p><p>Mayor Wando calls a town meeting, but it isn't until like six the next day. These people don't seem to be in any hurry to get the townspeople out of the town. Even if they don't think the volcano is going to erupt with in the next couple of hours (oh how wrong they are!), you'd think they still want to start evacuating people right that second because a) might be a good idea to get a head start before that thing erupts, and b), the water is all nasty and brown! How do you drink it? How do you shower? How do you brush your teeth? How do you cook if you can't boil water? How can Rachel serve her coffee with that dirty, nasty, brown water? </p><p>Before the meeting, Rachel calls Ruth to tell her to get the eff out of there, but she refuses to leave. Either she refuses to believe that she is in any danger or she doesn't care if there is an erupts and she's just stubborn and will "go down with the ship", so to speak. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://resizing.flixster.com/O5uaLNTtxFyjKq5lrGH3k9e8ZQI=/300x300/v2/https://flxt.tmsimg.com/assets/p19015_i_h10_ac.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="300" height="200" src="https://resizing.flixster.com/O5uaLNTtxFyjKq5lrGH3k9e8ZQI=/300x300/v2/https://flxt.tmsimg.com/assets/p19015_i_h10_ac.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Linda and Harry go to the meeting (both of them are headlining it) and leave the kids at home. Well, wouldn't you know it during the town meeting the volcano erupts and all hell breaks loose. Naturally, people are panicking and making a run for their cars outside to escape. Within minutes, we see buildings collapse and cars get crushed. The roads are soon filled with cars trying to get out of town and we see bridges and roads get swept away, taking the cars with them. I was listening to a podcast review of this movie and the hosts made a good point that while you don't actually see any people die, you see a lot of "car deaths" instead. Oh, we will see people die, but these are characters we've already met.<p></p><p>While their mom was at the meeting (and before the earthquake happened), Graham and Lauren are still trying to call their grandma, but at this point, she's taken the phone off the hook. So Graham gets the oh-so-brilliant idea to take his mom's truck and go up the mountain to get their grandma. What a dumbass. This kid is no older than thirteen, remember. By the time they're halfway up the mountain, the volcano has erupted and their visibility is zero. I laughed when Lauren tells him to make the windshield wipers go faster. Please. Like that's going to help. The air is just full of ash and dust and they can't see anything. Hell, even if it was a clear, sunny day, Graham would still hardly be able to see anything because it looks like he can barely see over the steering wheel! In reality, these kids would have driven straight off the mountain (in reality, anyone in this situation would have driven straight off the mountain!), but no, they make it safely to Grandma's house. Give me a break! </p><p>Harry and Rachel go to Rachel's home to get her children. She's calling for them, but they're not answering. (Did she not realize her car was missing?) She finds a note in the kitchen from her daughter telling her where they went. I love the "P.S. Don't be mad" line. Oh, she is livid! </p><p>There's no way they'll be able to get to Ruth's cabin in a quick manner because all the roads are full of cars of people trying to get out of town or they're blocked by debris and destruction. Since Harry has this heavy-duty truck (it's pretty much invincible from any kind of damage), he decides to drive across the lake. As they drive across it pretty much only the roof of the car is visible. Just as they're about to reach the other end, the car gets stuck in some mud and it starts filling up with water. As he's gunning the gas pedal, the car starts filling up with water. Rachel starts panicking, but Harry remains calm. He has faith that they'll get out of this. When they were halfway across the lake, they start seeing other cars get the same idea and start following him into the lake. There are Hondas and Toyotas and cars that aren't heavy-duty and should not be doing this. But once again, we don't see any of these cars not making it to the other end. In fact, one of them runs (well, floats, rather) into Harry's car and that's how they are able to get out of their predicament. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://mutantreviewers.files.wordpress.com/2022/10/dantes-peak.jpg?w=723&h=370" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="370" data-original-width="723" height="103" src="https://mutantreviewers.files.wordpress.com/2022/10/dantes-peak.jpg?w=723&h=370" width="200" /></a></div>They reach Ruth's cabin and find everyone. In an earlier scene, Ruths' dog, Roughy, had scampered out. If you're worried about the well-being of the dog, well, don't. But right now he can't be with them because it would just spell disaster. While they're in Ruth's cabin arguing with her because the old lady still doesn't want to go (so basically those two kids drove up there for absoluetly nothing), a flood of lava breaks down one of the walls of the house and comes pouring in. They all somehow manage to escape the lava, which, okay. Whatever, movie. They run to the lake and jump onto the motorboat. When Graham points out all the fish are dead, Harry knows that the lake is full of acid and warns everyone to not touch the water. He also knows he needs to cross there lake quickly because the bottom of the boat is made of aluminum and it's quickly disintegrating. He tells everyone to not put their feet on the bottom of the boat. This is probably the reason why they don't want the dog in this scene. There's barely enough room for the three adults and two kids on this boat with the limited space they have.<p></p><p>So they're pretty close to the other side, but still have a few feet to go. It's at this moment that Harry realizes that the acid eaten the motor and they are now stuck. In one of the most WTF moments from the movie, he wraps his jacket around his arm and uses his jacket-wrapped arm to propel them towards the shore. Um, so I guess leather is immune to acid? This is some of the dumbest sh*t I've ever seen. He gets them somewhat closer to shore, but then, with only a few feet to go, Grandma Ruth decides to save the day by jumping out of the boat and pulling it towards the dock. By this time, the water is a little less than waist-deep, so her legs are getting severely burned. Once they're on shore, she can barely walk and Harry has to carry her. At one point she begs him to put her down and he does. This is when we see how badly burned her legs are. The kids tearfully say goodbye to her and she tells Rachel that her son was a fool to leave her. Then she dies a hero. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://statcdn.fandango.com/MPX/image/NBCU_Fandango/656/626/1071.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="113" src="https://statcdn.fandango.com/MPX/image/NBCU_Fandango/656/626/1071.png" width="200" /></a></div>Speaking of other characters dying, when Paul, Terry, and the other volcanologists are leaving, they cross a bridge where the water is super high. All of them manage to make it across. Paul (if you remember, he's the one who kept ignoring Harry's warnings about the volcano) is the last to cross and the water is getting higher and rougher. Instead of getting out of his truck and making a run for it (as the others are screaming for him to do), he's trying to get across with his vehicle. Needless to say, he gets swept away and goes bye-bye-bye. <p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9dkAcAi_K6U/Vb8ec_8JqzI/AAAAAAAAlbE/7WVUAI1lRbY/s1366/Dante%2527s%2BPeak%2B-%2Bsurvivors.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="568" data-original-width="1366" height="83" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9dkAcAi_K6U/Vb8ec_8JqzI/AAAAAAAAlbE/7WVUAI1lRbY/w200-h83/Dante%2527s%2BPeak%2B-%2Bsurvivors.JPG" width="200" /></a></div>Harry and the others have found a truck and this truck must be as invincible as his heavy-duty vehicle because they are going through a forest that is just engulfed in flames. The tires catch on fire and everything is fine! This is when Roughy is rescued. They see him standing on a large rock and he jumps into the truck when it passes by him. <p></p><p>Harry makes a pitstop at his headquarters to grab an emergency locator beacon. (Yeah that might come in handy later!) They realize there is no way out of town and they need to get somewhere safe because Harry has discovered (from looking at his fancy volcano equipment) that they are due to have one more large earthquake. This is when the mine comes back and they drive in it just in time. They manage to be safe from the destruction of the earthquake inside the mine, but unfortunately they are blocked in by the falling rocks and boulders. The car could only go so far in the mine before it got too narrow, so they all get out and walk towards an area where Graham (very conveniently) has water and snacks. Once they get there, Harry realizes that he left the emergency locator in the car and has to go back. Well, that was stupid, Harry. He has to be careful going back, because now rocks have started falling in the cave. His arm gets broken and we even see a bone protruding, oh, god, that is even worse than when we see Grandma' burned legs. When he gets inside the car, more rocks start falling on top of the car and the roof caves in so he's essentially trapped in the vehicle. Luckily, he does manage to activate the locator and his friends, who all presumed he was dead, get this signal and they are able to rescue them. </p><p>So I thought they were rescued the same day, or at least the next day, but according to Wikipedia, it's "days later" when they're rescued. I guess I understand that it's going to take awhile to get there (not to mention to remove all the rocks), but I had no idea it was several days until they were rescued. I guess it was lucky they had all that food and water in there (though poor Harry didn't get any). Rachel is relieved to see that Harry is alive and they kiss in front of everyone and Graham and Lauren couldn't be happier. Yay. Now that question is, where will they now live now that their home has been completely destroyed? Too bad we never found out what the best place to live in the U.S. with a population under 20,000 because I bet that's where they went. I bet it's Mayberry, North Carolina! </p>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-52737817150800188332023-03-29T23:43:00.001-05:002023-03-29T23:44:42.742-05:00Disturbia <div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">The 'Burbs</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Director: Joe Dante</div><div style="text-align: left;">Cast: Tom Hanks, Carrie Fisher, Bruce Dern, Corey Feldman, Rick Ducommun, Henry Gibson, Wendy Schaal</div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: February 17, 1989</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://images.static-bluray.com/reviews/13856_1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="409" data-original-width="728" height="225" src="https://images.static-bluray.com/reviews/13856_1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I had seen this movie a couple times before, but I remembered absolutely nothing about it...probably because it's not that good of a movie. (And probably because it's been quite awhile since I last saw it). It's a bit of an odd movie and is now considered a cult classic, which doesn't surprise me. I read that it was the worst reviewed movie of 1989, which also doesn't surprise me. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I have to wonder if Marc Cherry got inspiration from this movie to create <i>Desperate Housewives</i> because that's what I was reminded of while watching this. (Though<i> DH</i> is much, much better). The cul-de-sac neighborhood in this movie (which I've already forgot the name of) is very similar to Wisteria Lane from <i>DH</i>. Some odd, new people have moved into a house on the lane and all the neighbors are trying to figure out their big secret (pretty much the storyline for every<i> DH</i> season!). Another reason why I was probably reminded of<i> Desperate Housewives</i> is because both were filmed in the same Universal backlot. (Hey, it's a good place to film if your setting is a cul-de-sac!) The houses are different, obviously. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Let's meet the neighbors and residents of non-Wisteria Lane, shall we? There's Ray and Carol Peterson (Tom Hanks and Carrie Fisher) who are the "normal" people on the block. (Well, at least Carol is. Compared to his friends, Ray is relatively normal). They have a son who doesn't add anything to the plot at all and Ray is taking a week off of work. Carol wants all of them to go to the lake, but Ray doesn't want to go. He wants his vacation to be a staycation. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Across the street from them is Mark Rumsfield (Bruce Dern), a Vietnam War vet, and his trophy wife, Bonnie (Wendy Schaal) who is clearly quite younger than him. Next door to them lives high schooler Ricky Butler (Corey Feldman) and his parents, but we never meet his parents because they're away during this time, so Ricky is always inviting his girlfriend or friends over to his house. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://resizing.flixster.com/1lvGhAYM9MWOh0FvCvPO_TGDX6Q=/300x300/v2/http://media.baselineresearch.com/images/348596/348596_full.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="300" height="200" src="https://resizing.flixster.com/1lvGhAYM9MWOh0FvCvPO_TGDX6Q=/300x300/v2/http://media.baselineresearch.com/images/348596/348596_full.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Next door to the Petersons, on one side, lives Art Weingartner (Rick Ducommun) and his wife. We never meet the wife, because, she, much like Ricky's parents, is also out of town for the week. This neighbor was particularly annoying. First of all, he has no common decency for any sort of life. When we first meet him, he has a rifle and is trying to shoot a hawk that's been eating bird food that's meant for the smaller birds. He shoots four times (missing each time) and when Ray comes out of his backyard to see what the commotion is, he turns towards him and nearly shoots Ray! If I were Ray, I would be pissed because I have a young kid and a dog (and the dog was in the backyard, quite near where Art was shooting). Then this neighbor is also a schlub and a mooch. He pretty much invites himself over to the Peterson's house and stuffs himself with food. We see he's cleared a plate of pancakes and eggs while he's given another plate. When Carol passes by him with a bowl of something, he takes a few pieces out without her noticing, but then, in the background, we see her set the bowl down. It was dog food, ha! No wonder he made that face when he ate it. Then he helps himself to some ribs that were in the fridge AND asks Carol is he can eat Ray's eggs when Ray goes to do something. I'm honestly surprised they didn't cast someone who was more overweight. Also, for someone who seems to always be hungry and stuffing his face, they don't really keep that up. You'd think he would always be eating in every scene, but he doesn't. Yeah, we might get a couple scenes where he mentions food, but that's about it. Not that I'm complaining because it was really gross seeing him gorge himself with the ribs. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">And then we have the neighbors who live on the other side of the Petersons. They are very odd. They moved in about a month ago and nobody has ever seen them. Nobody ever goes in or out. They don't ever seem to have any visitors or deliveries. They're not even sure how many people live there. All they know is that their surname is Klopek. Art is super suspicious of them, but Ray just assumes they just want to keep to themselves. In one of the only scenes he has, Ray's son tells them there are three of them and they only come out at night and he saw them digging in their backyard one night last week when he was using his telescope. Oh, yeah, that's not suspicious at all! (I mean the Klopeks digging, not the kid using his telescope). </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Oh, there's another neighbor who lives at the end of the cul-de-sac who is important to the story. His name is Walter and he has a little white dog named Queenie. This dog, a Bichon Frise named Darla, was also in <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2016/05/bon-appetite.html">The Silence of the Lambs</a> and if you've ever seen that movie, you would definitely recognize her right away. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">While Ray and Art are in Ray's garage and Ray is showing him something, Art walks out to the driveway and sees a young man (probably in his early twenties) with bright red hair, and, look, there's really no nice way to say this, but he has an "inbred" look to him. He would definitely stand out in a crowd. All the neighbors are witnessing this and we get the viewpoint from the redheaded young man. Ray now sees what the others are seeing and murmurs, "It's my neighbor." But isn't he everyone's neighbor? And soon Ray and Art will get into an argument over that when Art suggests to Ray that he should go over and say hi. Ray replies that he could go say hi to him too. Art tells Ray he's his (the redhead's) neighbor, but Ray tells him he's their neighbor as well, but Art is quick to remind him that he (Ray) shares a property line with the Klopeks. Ray points out they're all on the same block which Art agrees is true, but they all also live in the same town and if the Klopeks ever needed to borrow anything, they would go to Ray's place. Yeah, so while this conversation is going on, the young Klopek ends up going back in the house and they missed their opportunity to say hello. (Though I don't think anything would have happened even if they had, most likely he would have just gone back in his house without saying anything). </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Ray and Art notice that everyone has seen them arguing, including Ray's son. Not wanting to look like he's afraid in front of his own son, both men decide to go up and knock on the door. We get a close up shot of all the neighbor's faces as they watch Ray and Art walk up to the Klopek's porch, including the dog's, which was hilarious. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">As they're walking up the steps to the porch, Art notices there are bars on the basement windows. In a deadpan voice, Ray points out, "They've got holes in their porch, too." He says this right after Ray's foot has sunk into the porch due to rotting wood, I guess. Actually, this movie may be funnier than I'm giving it credit for. Their address number is 669, but when Ray uses the big brass knocker, the nine is knocked down and turns to a six. He knocks again and the number sign falls out of its place and knocks off a light which reveals a bunch of bees. :::shudder:::: They run and with all the commotion they're making, I'm surprised we don't see any of the Klopeks peering out the window to see what's going on.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYTI0YTc5YTAtNzIyMy00YmE5LTkxNWEtOWRkZGQxOWRjYWU0L2ltYWdlL2ltYWdlXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyODY0NzcxNw@@._V1_.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="430" data-original-width="800" height="108" src="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYTI0YTc5YTAtNzIyMy00YmE5LTkxNWEtOWRkZGQxOWRjYWU0L2ltYWdlL2ltYWdlXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyODY0NzcxNw@@._V1_.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>That evening, Ray takes his dog for a walk. And when I saw walk, what I mean he lets the dog off the leash to let him go wherever he wants and Ray walks next door to Art's house porch where he's hanging out with Ricky and drinking beer with him. Ricky asks Ray if he's ever seen <i>The Sentinel</i>, a movie about an old guy who owns an apartment "which is kind of like the gateway to Hell" and nods towards the Klopek house. Both Art and Ricky have theories that the Klopeks are involved in something seedy, but Ray doesn't believe any of that. At least not yet.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">They each go back to their homes, and, for some reason, Art sneaks over to Ray's house and taps on the widow of the living room where Ray and Carol are watching <i>Jeopardy</i>. He tries to hide when Carol looks behind her, but obviously she ends up seeing him. I don't understand this. Why doesn't he just go to the door? Ray gets up and tells his wife that he'll be back in a few minutes. They get Mark who has an infrared night-vision scope (he has a bunch of these military gadgets that come in handy in the movie) so they can spy on the neighbors because Art is convinced they have a dungeon in their basement. They're going to use the scope to look in the barred up basement windows.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BZGNiZjkxZTctZTE4My00YmM5LThjMmUtNWZiMjFhYTA0YzY2XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyODY0NzcxNw@@._V1_.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="432" data-original-width="800" height="108" src="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BZGNiZjkxZTctZTE4My00YmM5LThjMmUtNWZiMjFhYTA0YzY2XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyODY0NzcxNw@@._V1_.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Meanwhile, Ricky has invited over his girlfriend who has the permed blonde hair and the colorful outfit and dangly geometric earrings. You definitely know what decade this girl comes from! He has set up two folding chairs on his front porch to watch what's going on in the neighborhood. His girlfriend (I don't remember her name or if she even had one) wants to watch TV or go to a movie, but he tells her, "This is better than anything on television. This is real. This is my neighborhood." Was Ricky ahead of his time? Was he the first to truly discover not just reality TV, but reality reality? </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://a.ltrbxd.com/resized/sm/upload/hn/y0/cm/os/the-burbs-1200-1200-675-675-crop-000000.jpg?v=8d9934349b" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="113" src="https://a.ltrbxd.com/resized/sm/upload/hn/y0/cm/os/the-burbs-1200-1200-675-675-crop-000000.jpg?v=8d9934349b" width="200" /></a></div>A hum is coming from the Klopek house and it keeps getting louder and louder and it looks like flames are coming from the basement. This all looks very suspicious and surely it has to wake up the whole neighborhood with all the racket that's going on. I would call the police just for the disturbance! Ray is about to go over and inspect it, but the other two tell him to get down and they hide behind garbage cans when they see the Klopek garage door open and the young redhead guy backs out of the driveway to the end where the their garbage cans are situated. He gets out of the car and takes a hefty trash bag that is stuffed full of something out of the trunk and puts it in the trash can which he has to really pack in the receptacle. I think we're supposed to assume there's a body (or at least body parts) in the trash bag, but what kind of murderer tosses his victim out in his own trash? That's just asking to be caught. He then gets back in the car and drive it back into the garage. The three men all agree that it's super weird that somebody would drive from their garage to the end of their driveway to dump their trash. Yeah, no kidding. After Redhead Man goes back in the house, Art wants to investigate the trash cans, but Ray tells him it will look too suspicious if all three of them are going through their neighbor's garbage at 11 at night in the middle of a rainstorm. Mark agrees with Ray and says they'll wait til morning. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Before he goes to bed, Ray looks out the window and sees his three neighbors, all in hooded cloaks, digging in their backyard. And remember, this is around 11 at night during a rainstorm. This is all very suss, especially considering they're all digging large holes that could fit, oh, I don't know, a body. Why not call the police? I have to admit, I wasn't sure if this scene was a dream or not when I watched it. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Either they all woke up late or they don't know when their own garbage is picked up on their street because by the time they wake, they see the garbage truck has come and they have dumped both the trash bins at the Klopek house. Both Art and Mark see this and wave to the garbage men, telling them to stop dumping the trash, but when the realize they are too late, they both get in the garbage truck and start digging through it and all this garbage ends up on the street in a huge pile which we will see for the remainder of the movie. It's actually pretty funny that nobody will pick it up and it is just left there. Mark does tell the garbage man to pick it up since he is the garbage man, but the garbage man says he only picks up garbage that is in garbage cans and I have to side with the garbage man here. (Also, how many times can I say "garbage man" in one sentence? A lot, apparently.) He did pick up the garbage, but Art and Mark are the ones who are tossing the garbage from the truck to the street. They should be the ones to pick it up. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Ray tells both of them that he saw the three Klopeks digging (so I guess it wasn't a dream), and they all come to the conclusion that they took the body from the garbage and buried it in the backyard. (Is burying your victim in your backyard any better than throwing it away in your trash? Maybe slightly better, but still, that's one of the first places they're gonna check if you're suspected of murder! Also, I'm sure the cops are gonna notice if your yard has been freshly dug up.) </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYzIxMjFhMDUtMmJkOC00MzY4LWFjYzUtNmZhNmIxZDdmMjM2L2ltYWdlL2ltYWdlXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyODY0NzcxNw@@._V1_.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="435" data-original-width="800" height="109" src="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BYzIxMjFhMDUtMmJkOC00MzY4LWFjYzUtNmZhNmIxZDdmMjM2L2ltYWdlL2ltYWdlXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyODY0NzcxNw@@._V1_.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>While all this is going on, Mark's wife, Bonnie, sees Queenie, Walter's dog, in their yard, all dirty and shaky. She picks up the dog and wonders if Walter knows that his dog is outside, but when she goes to his house, nobody answers the door. She tells this to her husband and the others (and by this time, Ricky has joined them), so they all go over to Walter's house to see what's going on. Nobody is still answering the door, so Mark breaks in through the back way and opens the door for all of them. The first thing they notice is that the TV is on and a chair is on its side as though there's been a struggle. Other than that, nothing is really out of place, but they continue searching the house. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Bonnie goes in the kitchen to get some food for Queenie. The guys are in the living room when they hear her scream and they come running. She points to something hairy on the stove, claiming it's a rat. (In her defense, it does look like a rat...I probably would have had a similar reaction too!) Her husband tells her it's just Walter's toupee. Why it's on the stove, I'm not really sure! They think it's odd that Walter would leave his house without his hair and that must mean foul play. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://c8.alamy.com/zooms/9/fcb65a2e7c9a4d25980924d559bd4937/bkmfmm.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="437" data-original-width="640" height="137" src="https://c8.alamy.com/zooms/9/fcb65a2e7c9a4d25980924d559bd4937/bkmfmm.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">These two will go on to be in <br />Oscar-winning films!</td></tr></tbody></table>Besides the earlier scene where Art is eating breaking (and ribs and dog food) at the Peterson's, this is the only other scene where we see him around food. He picks up a plate of cookies and when he does, Ricky (who had been looking upstairs) opens the swinging door and the plate and cookies fall to the floor, everything shattering. Ray tells everyone they need to leave, which they all do. I love that they don't even sweep up the broken glass or cookie pieces. If you're worried about Queenie, no need. Ray takes her home with him, but first writes a note to tell Walter that he has his dog. His first draft reads, "Your dog is at my house. Your window is broken because we all thought that..." When he realizes he doesn't know what to write after the ellipses, he rips up that piece of paper and simply writes him a new note: "I have you dog" and places is through the mail slot along with Walter's toupee, which he still had. (The reason why he took it, then returned it, is just for the sake of plot). </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Later, Ray and Art are in Ray's basement (with the door locked so Carol can't interfere) reading a large dusty tome titled "The Theory and Practice of Demonology." Where did they get this book? From the <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2010/12/slayers-vampires.html">Sunnydale High School library?</a> Art is convinced that their neighbors are Satanists and that Walter was a human sacrifice. I'm not sure where he came up with the conclusions. Yes, it was super suspicious that they were digging holes in their backyard, but that doesn't make them Satanists. Murders? Perhaps. And perhaps they should call the police if they really do think their new neighbors have anything to do with the disappearance of their other neighbor. Art also tells Ray that they need to go to "the religious supply store and get themselves a couple gallons of holy water." What, is he talking about the church? Turns out he is because he then adds his cousin is a priest and he can get them a deal. A deal on holy water? I didn't realize you could buy the stuff. Oh, that reminds me of the scene from <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2016/05/cry-little-sister.html">The Lost Boys</a> (speaking of Corey Feldman!) when the Frog brothers go into a church to fill up their canteens with holy water to ward against vampires. Hilarious. </div><p>Before they go to bed, Ray does tell his wife about their theory and she thinks it's absolutely ridiculous. That night he does have a nightmare about his neighbors where he's being sacrificed. The next morning, he's watching <i>Mr. Roger's Neighborhood</i>. Well, he's so much not watching it as it just happens to be on and he's staring at the screen. Ha, you could say Tom Hanks was doing research for a movie he would do thirty years in the future! </p><p>When Ray goes out on the upper deck of his house, Art and Mark come running over, telling him they've got a plan. Carol hears them and tells them Ray isn't feeling well and needs to stay home and rest. She knows he didn't get much sleep last night. Their grand idea is to put a note that says "I know what you've done" under the door, then ring the doorbell and run away. That is so childish and what exactly are they hoping to accomplish with that? After they do it, Art runs over to Ray's backyard where Ray is trying to take a nap on a chaise lounge. Art tells him what he and Mark did and Ray can't believe he did that. He is furious because when he wrote the note for Walter and stuck it in his mail slot, he noticed that one of the elder Klopeks saw what he was doing and now he thinks that they'll think that he was the one who wrote and sent the note.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.craigskinnerfilm.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/The-Burbs.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="440" data-original-width="800" height="110" src="http://www.craigskinnerfilm.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/The-Burbs.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>While they're bickering back and forth, Ray's dog, who had been digging in the Klopeks yard (there's a hole in the fence he's able to squeeze through) comes back with a huge bone in his mouth. It's a human femur bone (thigh bone) and this thing is massive. Art even takes the bone and throws it so the dog can fetch it a few times. I'm not sure how neither of them even notice that the dog has it until a few minutes have passed. It's kind of hard to miss, but I guess that's the joke. They finally notice the size of the bone the dog is fetching and Art recognizes it as a human femur bone. I feel like maybe now this is the time to call the police if a human bone is found in your neighbor's yard. But do they? No. Art is now totally convinced that their neighbors are murdering people and chopping them up and burying them in their backyard. He is sure that the bone belongs to Walter. Both of them scream "Nooooo!" and the movie does this annoying thing where the camera zooms in and out on their faces. A few seconds of this would have been fine, but it goes on way too long and was super annoying. They then notice that someone on the Klopek side has tossed a piece of crumped paper over the fence and of course it's the note they had received earlier. <p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMWRmMDhjZjctMWUxZi00YjEyLWI4ZmItN2ZkMzc1YzNmZWRhXkEyXkFqcGdeQTNwaW5nZXN0._V1_.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="113" src="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMWRmMDhjZjctMWUxZi00YjEyLWI4ZmItN2ZkMzc1YzNmZWRhXkEyXkFqcGdeQTNwaW5nZXN0._V1_.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Carol gets the idea for the two couples (she clearly lets Art know that he is not invited) to go over to the Klopeks and introduces themselves and invite themselves over for "a nice, neighborly chat" and get to know them. Bonnie tells the two guys that they'll (herself and Carol) will "find out more in five minutes of friendly chat than in a month of snooping around." <p></p><p>The redhead answers the door and they all sort of just barge in around him. We find out his name is Hans and he lives with his Uncle Ruben who we meet next. They're obviously foreign, but I don't think we ever learn where exactly they're from. Mark asks Reuben if "Klopek" is a Slavic name, but he hisses out, "No!" My guess is that they're German. For one thing, their accent sounds German and for another, Hans is wearing lederhosen. </p><p>They're all sitting awkwardly in the living room (Carol and Bonnie on one couch, Ray and Rueben on the couch across from them, and Mark is standing against a wall) when Hans brings some (odd) snacks on a TV tray: a bowl of pretzels and a can of sardines. When offered, Carol takes some pretzels and Bonnie tells him, "I'm trying to cut back." When Ray is offered the food, he looks at Carol and she nods, so he takes a pretzel, then takes a sardine out of the can with his fingers (and it makes the most disgusting squishy noise) and places it on top of the pretzel and proceeds to eat it. By the look on Tom Hanks' face, I don't think he was acting! </p><p>Mark knocks on the wall and floor to show them what a good, solid house they have and after he knocks on the floor with his foot, he hears a thud knock back. The Petersons and Rumsfields are startled by this, but this seems to be forgotten (for now) because Ray starts having an allergic reaction to the dust in the house. They soon meet the third resident of the house, Dr. Verner Klopek (Henry Gibson), who is Reuben's brother. He comes up from the basement wearing gloves that are covered in a red substance. When he shakes Ray's hand, we're supposed to think it's blood, but I knew it was paint. No one is that out of touch that they would shake hands with somebody while wearing bloody gloves. That is disgusting. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://wildfiremovies.files.wordpress.com/2019/08/the-burbs.png" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="113" src="https://wildfiremovies.files.wordpress.com/2019/08/the-burbs.png" width="200" /></a></div>The doctor tells them all how he was just mentioning to his brother how he wanted to meet all his neighbors (they sure didn't make any efforts to do that!) and now they're all at his house. Mark tells him that all the neighbors are not there and at first I thought he was talking about Art, but he actually meant Walter and tells the Klopeks they don't know where Walter is. Mark cuts through the chitchat and wants to know what the weird noise is coming from the basement. Carol quickly gets up and says she think they should go. Mark tries to get Ray on his side, telling him to tell the Klopeks that he also saw/heard the weird light/noise coming from the basement the other night, but Ray just runs towards what he thinks is the bathroom. When he opens the door, a huge Great Dane comes bounding out. The Petersons and the Rumsfields decide it's time to leave and they all convene at Ray's house. Art joins them too, because, of course he does. Ray says that the Klopeks may be eccentric, but he doesn't think there's anything nefarious going on. He tells his wife and Bonnie that he wants to talk to the guys alone. This right there should have been a red flag to Carol, but she and Bonnie just let them be. Once alone in the den (with the doors closed), we soon discover that Ray was lying about the neighbors and he definitely think there's something unsavory going on with them. He takes out Walter's toupee from his pants and tells them he found it after the dog was released. He doesn't understand how the Klopeks have this since he put it back in Walter's house. Not only that, but he found it wedged between some magazines all addressed to Walter. They surmise that means the Klopeks went back inside Walter's house and got the wig. <p></p><p>The Klopeks had mentioned they were going away tomorrow for the whole day, so Ray wants to play CSI and he's "not coming back till [he] finds a dead body." He also adds, "Nobody knocks off an old man in my neighborhood and gets away with it." </p><p>To make sure Carol doesn't find out what he's doing (because he knows she won't approve), he tells her he's going golfing with Art. He also gets her to get out of the house and visit her sister with their son. He seems very eager to get her out of the house and even Carol can sense that. He tells her he think it would be good for her to get out of the house "after the week [they've] had." </p><p>Ricky sees that his neighbors have something big planned so he starts calling his friend and girlfriend to come down because "it'll be live" (although they're gonna have to wait awhile before they see anything, ahem, explosive). At least they can look forward to the pizza dude! </p><p>In a really stupid move, Art climbs up a telephone pole to disconnect the wires so no alarms go off. He somehow manages to cut the right wire, but he gets shocked and ends up falling into a shed (making a comical human-shaped hole in the roof). By all accounts, Art should be dead. </p><p>While Mark is keeping a lookout on his roof with his binoculars and Walkie-Talkie, Ray and Art are digging large holes in the Klopek's backyard, which seems to be mostly comprised of dirt. I've never seen a backyard with that much dirt and no grass at all. They're making no progress with finding anything and decide to check the house because it will be cooler. They'll start in the basement and work their way up. Art theorizes they didn't find anything while digging because the Klopeks probably dug up the bodies and are now hiding them in the basement. According to Art, these Klopeks sure move their bodies around a lot. First, they put them in the trash receptacle, then they move them to the backyard, now they're in the basement. </p><p>In a hilarious scene, we see Ray try to break into the house by using a credit card, but he ends up just breaking the card. Luckily, it was just a credit card from a particular store (you can't tell where it's from, but I'm pretty sure it's a made up one) and Art tells him, "It was a sh*t store anyway." Ray just covers his hand with some kind of cloth and breaks the glass and reaches in to unlock the door from the inside </p><p>It's a good thing they start in the basement because there they find a huge, old furnace. One might even call it an incinerator. It is ridiculously big for the size house they have and they notice about forty batteries are connected to it. Art turns it on and it starts whirring and making the same loud noise they hear every night so now they know what was making all that racket. Ray finds a big pile of dirt near the furnace and surmises that they must have burnt Walter's body in the furnace, then buried his bones right there. He grabs the shovel from Art and starts digging. </p><p>It's nighttime now and and the Klopeks have just turned onto the street in their car. Even though Mark and Ricky and all of his friends are outside, none of them see their car. The Klopeks notice their furnace is on, so they know someone is in their house (and probably have a good idea who) and they turn around and leave. </p><p>By this time, Ray has dug a huge hole (pretty sure Art isn't even helping; he's just standing next to him) and they hear a clink when the shovel hits something metal and they get all excited because they think he must have hit a crypt and Walter's body must be in there. I'm not sure where they even come to that conclusion. They don't even know what they've hit and they definitely don't have an evidence that Walter is dead. Right now, the only evidence they have of any kind of foul play going on with the Klopeks is the femur. I don't know, I feel like if your dog dug up a human bone in your neighbor's yard, you might want to call the police unless there was a valid reason for a human bone to be in their yard (not sure what good reason there would be, though!) Art calls Mark on the Walkie to tell him they've found Walter, but he kinda jumps the gun with that because they haven't! They haven't found jacksh*t!</p><p>While Mark didn't see the Klopeks from his vantage point on the roof, he does notice a car drive to Walter's house and lo and behold, Walter gets out of the car with some assistance from his daughter. (In a later scene, we find out that's who is with him in the car). Mark calls Ray on the Walkie to tell him, "Guess who's not in the basement? Walter!" But Ray doesn't hear him and just keeps digging and mud and sludge cover up the Walkie. </p><p>Ricky also sees Walter has come back and when Art comes outside (to get Mark, I guess), he points Walter out to him. Things get even worse when the Klopeks have returned and this time they have a police car following them. Now all the neighbors notice that they are back. Art tells Ricky to keep them preoccupied so he can go get Ray. Ricky jumps on the police car's hood and tells them all these people are at his parent's house eating their food. (Hmm, I thought he had called the PIZZA DUDE!) </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/43600000/The-Burbs-the-burbs-movie-43670005-480-246.gif" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="246" data-original-width="480" height="168" src="https://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/43600000/The-Burbs-the-burbs-movie-43670005-480-246.gif" width="320" /></a></div>Just as Art comes down to the basement, Ray yells at him to run because he's hit the gas line. Art runs out of the house screaming that the house is gonna blow and it does just that. Because Ray was struggling to get out of the hole he ad dug for himself (literally and figuratively!), he was still in the house when it exploded. By all accounts, Ray should be dead and that's what everyone thinks until Bonnie sees movement in the house. Very slowly, Ray stiffly walks out the front door. His clothes are all tattered and shredded, his skin is all ashy, and one of his eyes is closed shut. I love the way he sort of just slides down the front steps. <p></p><p>We next see Carol come back (though she seemed to have left their son at her sister's because he's not in the car) and she sees a burning house, firetrucks, police cars, and a huge crowd. Despite everything, she doesn't seem too mad at her husband who could have died and he's lucky nobody else got hurt with that explosion.</p><p>One detective tells Ray that he's looking at counts of destruction of private property, destruction of public property, three counts of criminal trespassing (not sure why it's three counts), harassment, assault, vandalism, plus Walter thinks the note he received from Ray about his dog was a ransom note (even though it didn't specifically ask for money so I don't know why he would think that; though I will admit the note was a little ominous!) and he had dognapped Queenie. </p><div style="text-align: left;">Speaking of Walter, another detective tells Art that Walter had been in the hospital and his daughter and son-in-law had taken him there. I'm guessing they were over at his house and something happened (I think they said it was his heart) when he was watching TV and thats why the chair was knocked over. He also mentions that the Klopeks had been picking up his mail which I thought was odd for a couple of reasons:</div><div style="text-align: left;">1) The Klopeks have not talked to anyone at all since they've moved to this neighborhood, and now they're getting someone's mail? That doesn't make any sense and it's just there for the plot.</div><div style="text-align: left;">b) Walter is only gone for what? Two days top? Why does he need someone picking up his mail? Hell, I've been gone for over a week and I just let my mail pile up! Luckily, I don't get that many catalogues. </div><div style="text-align: left;">They also have this weird explanation for the wig where they said the doctor got the wig mixed up with the newspapers. Huh? How does that happen? They should have just said they took the wig to keep it safe at their house, I don't know! It really doesn't make any sense why they have the wig, but again, Ray had to find it at the Klopeks to move the plot forward. </div><p>Art is still convinced there's a body that goes with the femur they found (I mean, he's not wrong), but Ray has had enough and starts defending the Klopeks. He's very convincing and I find myself siding with him as he yells at Art, "They didn't do anything to us" and he can't blame them for keeping to themselves because they "live next door to people who break into their house and burn it down while they're gone for the day." Uh, it didn't just "burn down", it exploded! He says they are the one who are being unneighborly. "We're the ones vaulting over fences and peeking in people's windows. We're the ones throwing garbage in the street and lighting fires. We're the ones acting suspicious and paranoid. We're the lunatics. Us! It's not them!" What he is saying is 100% correct; they are the ones who acting more suspicious (although that femur is still pretty suspicious!) than the Klopeks, who, at this point, are just eccentric. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://basementrejects.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/burbs-1989-ray-peterson-dr-werner-klopek-ending-ambulance-henry-gibson-tom-hanks-review.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="326" data-original-width="600" height="109" src="https://basementrejects.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/burbs-1989-ray-peterson-dr-werner-klopek-ending-ambulance-henry-gibson-tom-hanks-review.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Ray is so fed up and just wants to go to the hospital, so in a hilarious scene, he picks up a gurney and pretty much throws it into the back of an ambulance, then flops down onto it. The doors close and while he's laying in the ambulance, Dr. Werner Klopek comes in and Ray apologizes to him and tells him once he gets out of prison, he's going to hep him rebuild his house. (Yeah, right). The foreign doctor just ignores what he's said and tells him that he may have fooled the others, but he doesn't fool him. Ray has no clue what he's talking about and Werner tells him that when he was in his basement, he must have looked in the furnace. He then goes on further to say, "You saw one of my skulls, didn't you?" What the actual f*ck? This guy is giving a lot away when he doesn't need to. Maybe there are more delicate ways to go about this than admitting that you have skulls in your furnace! (Also, how did Ray and Art miss that?) We'll soon learn in a few minutes that this is not his first rodeo (i.e. murder) so I don't know why he's being so dumb here. Well, I guess he is planning on killing Ray by injecting him with something, so it really doesn't matter if he knows that Werner is a murderer or not. <p></p><p>Oh, yeah. Surprise! The Klopeks were a family or murderers after all! That's the big twist. Obviously, they did not kill Walter, but they did kill the Knapps, the elderly couple that lived in the house before the Klopeks did. Since the Klopeks already live in the house when the movie starts, we never meet the Knapps (well, for one thing because they were already dead!), but we do hear about them through snippets of dialogue. In a early scene when Art is telling Ray about how secretive and weird the Klopeks are, he defends them (I bet he regrets that now!) by saying the Knapps also weren't conversationalists and they didn't even say goodbye when they moved (and now we know why!) When the two couples are meeting the Klopeks, Mark mentions he didn't even see the Knapps move, but one of the Klopeks insist that the moving truck was out all day. The only thing we really know about the Knapps, besides that they weren't too chatty, was that they were an elderly couple. Werner goes on to tell Ray that they "took" the house from them and that he had offered to buy it, but they had refused to sell because "you know how old people are They grow so attached to things." Well, at least now we know the femur belonged to one of the Knapps. Also, I'm pretty sure you can't just kill the residents of a home and move in there...I'm no real estate agent, but I feel like there are usually papers to be signed. Also, did the Knapps have no family members who were worried about them? Unless they were a couple who never had children, so I guess it's possible. </p><p>When he takes out the huge syringe, Ray starts to get up and tells him he thinks he forgot his wallet, but the murder doctor pushes him back down and it is revealed that Hans is sitting in the driver's seat and starts driving the ambulance erratically through the neighborhood while Ray is struggling with the doctor to keep him from sticking him with the syringe. Hans ends up crashing the ambulance in the front of Art's house. When that happens, the back of the ambulance doors open and the gurney comes rolling out with both Ray and Werner still struggling against each other. The gurney runs into the Klopek's car and when it does the trunk opens. It is absolutely hilarious when Ray stands up and starts yelling out, "Citizen's arrest! I am placing you under citizen's arrest for my attempted murder!" I mean, how many times do you ever get to say that? I feel like "citizen's arrests" are only something you see in movies and TV shows. He then tells the others (as you can imagine, everyone has gathered around them) that Dr. Klopek has confessed to the murders of the Knapps. One of the (foolish) detectives tell him he doesn't have any evidence and as he's saying that, Ricky looks into the open trunk of the car and he lifts up a blanket and says, "You do now." We see that the blanket has been covering a bunch of bones. I counted five skulls. Just how many people did they kill? (Cuz you know there's more!) </p><p>So all the Klopeks are arrested and taken away. Why do they murder? We really never find out. Everyone goes home. The final joke is that Art's wife is back and his house is on fire. Mark and Bonnie tell him his wife is back and he exclaims, "My wife is home!?" He seems more shocked about that than his house being on fire (not to mention the huge ambulance that his ran through the front). </p><p>Yeah, this movie is really stupid, but it was actually a lot funnier than I thought it would be, so I can see why so many people love it and why it's considered a cult classic. </p>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-77354972764770697492023-03-15T19:49:00.002-05:002023-03-15T19:49:47.218-05:00Il piccolo monstro marino <div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Luca</span></div><div style="text-align: left;">Director: Enrico Casarosa</div><div style="text-align: left;">Voice Talent: Jacob Trembly, Jack Dylan Grazer, Maya Rudolph, Jim Gaffigan, Sacha Baron Cohen</div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: June 18, 2021</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Oscar nominations:</div><div style="text-align: left;">Best Animated Film (lost to <i>Encanto</i>)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.tbsnews.net/sites/default/files/styles/big_3/public/images/2021/07/03/luca.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="386" data-original-width="686" height="225" src="https://www.tbsnews.net/sites/default/files/styles/big_3/public/images/2021/07/03/luca.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><i>Buongiorno! Mi chiamo </i>Sara! I took a year of Italian in college and that's pretty much all I retained besides a few random words. Although, I can do a pretty good Italian accent where-a I talk-a like-a I'm-a Roberto Benigni! I want-a the spaghetti and-a meat-a-balls with <i>parmigiano</i>! Okay, I'll stop! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">When I first started watching<i> Luca</i>, the first thing I thought of was that Luca was the boy version of <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2011/01/hot-crustacean-band.html">Ariel</a>. You see, while Luca is not a merman (merboy?), he is a sea monster (but a sea monster with human features such as he has a human face) who can speak English (and a little bit of Italian as he lives off the coast of Italy) who is very interested in the human world and likes to collect things that come from the shores above. While not an avid collector as Ariel was, he still finds some human things he has to keep hidden as his parents, Daniela and Lorenzo (Maya Rudolph and Jim Gaffigan), do not approve. They call humans "land monsters" (I guess that's fair since the humans refer to them as "sea monsters") and tell their son that they are dangerous. They emphasize he must never go to the surface or the shore. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://images.csmonitor.com/csm/2021/06/0618_Luca%20fish.jpg?alias=standard_900x600" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="800" height="133" src="https://images.csmonitor.com/csm/2021/06/0618_Luca%20fish.jpg?alias=standard_900x600" width="200" /></a></div>Luca is a twelve-year-old sea monster and very early in the movie he meets a fourteen-year-old sea monster named Alberto. Now, I had no idea how old they were supposed to be, but that's what Wikipedia told me and that sounds about right. These species of sea monsters seem very advanced. If they step out of the water and onto land, they turn into humans. I mean, Ariel had to give up her voice to get her legs on dry land! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">But before Luca meets his new adventurous friend, he asks his grandmother where boats come from (heh) and his parents are dismayed. His grandma tells him they comes from "the land monster town just above the surface". Luca is amazed that she's actually been up there (and apparently beat a guy at cards once). </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">He finds a whole treasure trove full of human things such as a wrench, a glass, a gramophone, an alarm clock, and playing cards. ("I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty; I've got whozits and whatzits galore. You want thingamabobs? I've got twenty!") When he sees someone in a dive suit holding a spear slowing lurching towards him, he gets scared and swims into a cave where he becomes trapped. (Smart move there, Luca). Luckily, it's just Alberto, and this is when Luca meets him for the first time. Luca is amazed that Alberto often goes to the surface and "does the change". He follows Alberto to the surface, but stays under the water as he watches his new friend transform from a sea monster to a human (and the way it happens, it's just so effortless). It's Alberto who grabs Luca with a staff and lifts him out of the water. Luca, only being told bad things about the world above the surface, starts freaking out when he's turned into a human. Alberto tells him to relax and just breathe. Luca does just that and takes in the beauty of the nature around him: the grass, the trees, the sand, the crashing waves, the clouds, and the bird all around him. Then he tells Alberto he's not supposed to be here and quickly jumps back into the water and swims back home. </div><p>The next day, he follows his new friend to the surface. He's a little reluctant at first, but then he gets the courage to skim the surface. After he changes into a human, he says it feels like his tail is still there and Alberto replies that it's "phantom tail" and that he'll get used to it. When Luca tries to walk, he immediately flops down and Alberto gives him the oh-so-great advice, "Walking is just like swimming. But without fins. Or a tail. And there's no water. Otherwise it's the exact same thing." Heh. Uh, walking is NOT just like swimming! After a few struggles, Alberto tells him to point his feet towards where he wants to go, then catch himself before he can fall and this seems to work. You know, I take walking for granted, that I'm not really sure how I would tell someone who was walking for the first time how to do it. </p><p>Alberto shows Luca a stone (non working) lighthouse nearby where he lives with his dad, but his dad isn't around often (in fact, we never meet him, but we'll find out why later) so he does what he wants. He tells Luca, "Everything good is above the surface. (I mean, he's not wrong). This includes air, gravity, the sky, clouds and the sun. He demonstrates gravity by falling from the top of the lighthouse which is pretty far up and if he was anything other than an animated character, he would break his neck and die. Alberto loves "human stuff" and has a huge collection in his lighthouse. Luca is taken with a poster of a man riding a red Vespa, which Alberto tells him is the greatest thing in the world: "You just sit on it and it takes you anywhere you want to go in the world." The poster reads "<i>Vespa </i><i style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36); color: #202124; font-family: times; white-space: pre-wrap;">è libertà </i><span style="caret-color: rgb(32, 33, 36); color: #202124; font-family: times; white-space: pre-wrap;">which means "Vespa is freedom". </span></p><p>We get the first of many dream/fantasy sequences there are in the film where Luca imagines himself riding a Vespa over the ocean. </p><p>Getting inspired, he looks around and asks Alberto if he's going to make one and makes notes that it looks like he has all the parts. Yep, everything but the motor! Luca helps him even though he keeps telling Alberto he needs to go. Several hours tick by and it is very late when he returns home. Daniela is waiting for him and demands to know where he's been. Luca internally thinks, "Don't say surface, don't say surface" and outloud he says, "Surface." It reminded me of the scene in <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2023/03/panda-palooza.html">Turning Red</a> when Mei tells herself not to draw attention to her notebook. </p><p>I admit the movie got me because it turns out this never happened. It was all in Luca's head as he was imagining what would be the worst outcome. When his mother is demanding to know where he's been (in reality), his grandmother saves him by telling his parents it was her fault because she sent him looking for sea cucumbers and Luca plays along with the story. Nonna knows what's up! </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.rollingstone.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/LUCA-ONLINE-USE-v228_81_cs.pub16.280c.jpg?w=1024" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="800" height="133" src="https://www.rollingstone.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/LUCA-ONLINE-USE-v228_81_cs.pub16.280c.jpg?w=1024" width="200" /></a></div>The next day, he returns to dry land. Alberto is ready to try out his (very) primitive Vespa. This thing looks like something Fred Flintstone would "drive" and it looks like it's about to fall apart at any second. Alberto asks Luca if he wants to ride it and Luca, very politely, replies, "Thank you, but no thank you. I just think maybe I would die." I need to pause here to compliment the young voice cast; they all do a fantastic job. Luca is voiced by Jacob Trembly who I know best as the little boy in <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2017/01/no-room-for-error.html">Room.</a> Heh, I just read on his Wikipedia page that he's voicing Flounder in the live-action<i> Little Mermaid</i>. How adorable. And appropriate. From one sea-dwelling creature to another! Alberto is voice by Jack Dylan Grazer. I wasn't familiar with his name, but when I was listening to a podcast review of this movie, the hosts mentioned he was the friend in <i>Shazam</i> and I immediately knew who he was. Also, his uncle is Brian Grazer so you know he's met Ron Howard.<p></p><p>So Alberto rides his rickety Vespa down a super steep cliff while Luca holds a ramp that Alberto told him to hold. Again, it is lucky that Alberto is an animated character because he rides that thing down the steep cliff and into the ocean. He would be dead, otherwise. As he's going down, the scooter falls apart until it's just the front wheel and handlebars, pretty much. Yikes. </p><p>We get a montage of them building another Vespa and during this time, Luca's parents find out that he's been going to the shore. During the evening, as they're laying on top of the lighthouse, Luca asks Alberto what's up in the sky and Alberto tells them they're anchovies and "the big fish protects them" as he points to the moon. Luca asks him if he's even been to a human town (and it's interesting that he says "human town" instead of "land monster town"). Alberto says no, but his dad has and he's heard all about it from it, so he claims he's "pretty much an expert." </p><p>After day dreaming of owning a Vespa (again!), Luca falls asleep and is late getting home. His mother is waiting for him (this sounds familiar!), but this time he doesn't have his grandmother to save him. His parents show him the human stuff they found, such as an alarm clock and a playing card. They make him promise not to sneak up to the shore again. Luca apologizes and tells them, "It's not that dangerous up there." </p><p>His dad has brought his odd brother, Luca's Uncle Ugo (Sacha Baron Cohen) to talk to Luca. Ugo has a transparent body so you can see his heart and other organs (eww) and he lives in the depths of the ocean where "it's just you and your thoughts" since there's not much to see. Ugh, that sounds horrible. And boring. I suppose he lives with <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2013/03/a-fishy-tale.html">anglerfish</a>, those awful, terrifying creatures that live in the deepest depths of the sea. Daniela tells her son that he's going to stay with Uncle Ugo "for the rest of the season". She tells him the world is a dangerous place and she'll do anything to protect him, including sending him to the bottom of the ocean. As long as he's under her ocean, he'll have to listen to her! (A little<i> The Little Mermaid</i> humor there...isn't that what King Triton says to Ariel? It's been a minute since I've seen that movie). </p><p>The next day, Luca is at the lighthouse (I guess his parents don't watch him very closely!) and he tells Alberto how his parents want to send him away. Alberto suggests that Luca stay in the lighthouse but Luca says his parents will look for him. Alberto tells him if he goes to the nearby town, his parents won't look for him there. (Spoiler alert: he thought wrong!) He seems to think there will be a Vespa over there waiting for them. I love this conversation between them; again amazing job by the young actors: </p><div style="text-align: left;">"We'd swim right over to Vespatown, track down Signor Vespa-"<br />"Wait. Do you really think there's a Signor Vespa?"<br />"Makes sense, right?'<br />"Yes. Continue."</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Hee. So Alberto finishes by saying they would have Signor Vespa build them a Vespa. It's a fool-proof plan! They swim to the shore of the town, then hide under a wooden boat they find on the ocean floor so no one sees them in their sea monster form. As they're walking through the town (which is called Portorosso, not Vespatown), Alberto tells him not to get wet and they'll be fine. The first people Luca sees walk by him are two fishermen with a sharp fishing hook and a bucketful of dead fish. Luca notices the town fountain has a statue of a man sending a spear through a sea monster.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.cheatsheet.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Portorosso-in-the-Pixar-movie-Luca.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="432" data-original-width="800" height="108" src="https://www.cheatsheet.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Portorosso-in-the-Pixar-movie-Luca.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Portorosso is a beautiful, quaint seaside village and it appears to be modeled after the Italian towns that make up Cinque Terre (which means five lands). It is a beautiful area, but you know that place is overrun with tourists. However, the only out-of-towners in Portorosso appear to be Luca and Alberto. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Because of all the anti-sea monster propaganda, Luca wants to leave, but he is quickly distracted when he notices somebody riding a red Vespa. Alberto is convinced it's Signor Vespa. Nearby, <i>i bambini</i> are playing with a kickball and when it rolls over to Luca, he tries to kick it back to them, but it ends up ricocheting on the fountain and hits the Vespa, which starts to falls to the ground, but one of the minions of the arrogant young man who owns it rushes over so the vehicle falls on him instead of the pavement. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://s2.dmcdn.net/v/T1P4D1XE_g4tC4Acd/x1080" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="453" data-original-width="800" height="113" src="https://s2.dmcdn.net/v/T1P4D1XE_g4tC4Acd/x1080" width="200" /></a></div>Ercole is the name of the young man who owns the Vespa. Heh. It almost sounds like Urkel. "Did I do that?" Ha, so I typed that into an Italian translator and it came out as <i>"Ho fatto questo?" </i>However, when I went to see what that translated into English, it was "I did this", so not exactly the same thing. Urkel saying, "I did this" is not as funny as "Did I do that?" </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Ercole sees the two newcomers and introduces himself to them, telling them they are lucky that nothing happened to his Vespa. The boys learn he is a "five-time winner of the Portorosso Cup" and that's how he was able to afford his Vespa. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">We meet Giulia (such a better spelling than "Julia"!) who is around Luca's and Alberto's age and is nemesis with Ercole. I should point out that Ercole is a bit older than the others; he's probably 17 or 18, so it's extra pathetic that he gets a rise out of tormenting "the Underdogs", which is what Giulia, Luca, and Alberto call themselves. </div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://i0.wp.com/discussingfilm.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Screenshot-2021-06-17-3.01.49-PM-472714075-1623967368600.png?fit=952%2C535&ssl=1" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="113" src="https://i0.wp.com/discussingfilm.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/Screenshot-2021-06-17-3.01.49-PM-472714075-1623967368600.png?fit=952%2C535&ssl=1" width="200" /></a></div>Giulia asks the boys if they're in town for the race, but they don't answer her since they have no idea what it is. Luca asks her about it and she explains the race as "an epic, grueling, traditional Italian triathlon: swimming, cycling, and eating pasta." When asked what the winner receives, she tells them prize money, but they don't understand the concept of money. When they figure out that money can turn into a Vespa (a run-down Vespa with the amount they would win, but a Vespa, nonetheless), Luca thinks that he, Aberto, and Guilia should all run the race together. Giulia tells them no, that she races alone. This was something that confused me about this race: apparently you could be in teams of three where each person did one of the events, or one person could do all three events by themselves. Um, wouldn't it be much easier to split it up three ways so you don't tire yourself out? :::shrug::: Oh, well, I suppose if you're a lone competitor you win more money. But then she decides to see how they would do at the different obstacles of the race. When asked if they can swim, Alberto tells her they're terrible at it (ironically they can't do the portion of the race they would be best at!) Luca attempts to ride a bike, but he's not very skilled at it. Giulia wants to know where they're from and Alberto just replies that they're runaways. Luca adds that his family was going to send him somewhere horrible, but if he can win this race, he can be free. This is the point when Giulia decides to let them join her in the race. She decides that she'll swim, Luca will bike and Alberto will eat (not necessarily in the order!)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://static01.nyt.com/images/2021/07/01/arts/luca-disability1/merlin_190205901_0c5d6d88-06a7-4c4c-975e-e85a357fcf43-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="324" data-original-width="600" height="108" src="https://static01.nyt.com/images/2021/07/01/arts/luca-disability1/merlin_190205901_0c5d6d88-06a7-4c4c-975e-e85a357fcf43-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale" width="200" /></a></div>Giulia invites them over for dinner where her one-armed fisherman dad, Massimo, is chopping off fish heads. Gulp! This makes Luca and Alberto extremely nervous. Luca sees spears all around the house and a bulletin board with newspaper clipping of suspected spotted sea monsters. In shock, he spits water all over Alberto's face which makes his head change into his purple sea monster face and he has to quickly cover up his face so nobody sees him. Both Giulia and Massimo are facing away from them, getting everyone's plates ready when this happens. I feel like this whole transformation needs a little tweaking. I think they should only change into sea monsters if they are only completely submerged in water; not just certain parts of their body when those parts get water on them. But I get it; it's all for the drama of the storyline. BTW, the pesto pasta Massimo makes for dinner looks super delicious and now I'm super hungry! I need to order a spaghetti meal next time I put in my Hello Fresh order. (Check! I will be getting the Tuscan pork sausage and pepper spaghetti in my box next week. <i>Delizioso!</i>)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Giulia asks her dad for money for the entrance fee to enter the race, but he tells her money is tight and he needs more fish to sell. Luca and Alberto offer to help him catch fish. I guess they don't really care about fish. Maybe fish to sea monsters are like chicken to humans. I don't know, maybe that's not a good analogy. Do sea monsters even eat fish? It seems like they eat things like kelp and sea cucumbers, so maybe sea monsters are vegetarians? But are they all vegetarians? Oh, hell, I don't know. But what I do know is that the two boys help Massimo catch a boatload (literally) of fish. They know where all the fish are at certain times of the day. They now have enough money to enter the race and have one week to train which barely seems like enough time.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Meanwhile, Daniela and Lorenza have come to town to look for him. There's so many kids in the plaza that Daniela gets the idea to play kickball with them and use the kickball to knock them into the fountain to see if they change. A harsh, but effective plan. </div><p>We get a montage of each kid training for their segment of the race. Luca will have to bike down Mount Portorosso and it looks super steep with lots of winding paths. I remember I once biked down a mountain in Colorado and that was not fun. And this looks way more steep (with lots more obstacles!) I love when Luca and Alberto are in a boat as they're watching Giulia swim and Luca says, "I guess that's how humans swim?" and Alberto replies with, "That's embarrassing." Haha, that was hilarious. </p><p>As Giulia is swimming, Ercole and his cronies (Ciccio and Guido) are in a speed boat and they get near Luca and Alberto, splashing their boat and water gets on Alberto, turning him into a sea monster. He ducks down for cover and Luca goes to get him a towel but ends up accidentally pushing him off the boat. Ercole gets suspicions when he only sees one of them and sees the tail of Alberto, but then he gets distracted when Giulia starts shaking his boat and Luca is able to pull Alberto back in the boat and dry him off. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.disneyfanatic.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Screenshot-2673.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="475" data-original-width="610" height="155" src="https://www.disneyfanatic.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Screenshot-2673.png" width="200" /></a></div>Later that evening, while looking at the stars from the tree house where Giulia is letting the two boys stay, she sets Luca straight and tells him those aren't <i>pescare</i> in the sky and explains about <i>le stelle</i>. She shows him a telescope and he takes a look at <i>l'universo. </i>He gets super enthused when she shows him more books and maps and he's amazed that there are other towns and cities in Italy that are even bigger than Portorosso and is awed by the solar system. Heh, if I were Giulia, I would be thinking, what rock did this kid crawl out under from? She tells him how she's going to use her school's telescope when she's in advanced astronomy. She goes to school in Genoa and when Luca suggests to Alberto that they go visit her, they get into a fight and Alberto tells him they can't go to school because sea monsters aren't allowed. <p></p><p>This fight escalates the next day when the three kids are near the sea. Luca suggests to Giulia that they go to school with her and she thinks that's a great idea. Alberto asks if her school takes non-human species, "like, perhaps, sea monsters?" (Way to get to the point!) Of course, Giulia is confused so Alberto tells her he'll show her and jumps into the water to reveal his true identity. She is freaked out by what she sees, but even worse, Luca pretends to be scared and surprised to see a sea monster too. Ercole, who was nearby, sees this (he doesn't know that Alberto is the sea monster) and starts throwing spears at him. Alberto swim away, unharmed, but it is clear he is hurt by Luca. </p><p>Back at Giulia's house, Luca tells Massimo that Alberto left and doesn't want anyone looking for him, but Massimo decides to look anyway. Luca starts worrying about the race since it will now just be him and Giulia and asks Giulia if it's allowed if she swims and eats and he rides the bike. Apparently, this race will let three people enter together or just one person - none of this pair nonsense! Giulia is trying to tell him something but Lua won't stop babbling, so she grabs a glass of water and throws it at him. He puts up his hands and they turn into green fins, exposing that he's a sea monster. Giulia seems to understand what's going on and tells him Portorosso is no place for sea monsters. (Yeah, no kidding!) She advices him to leave before her father, hunter of sea monster, finds out. They are both sad, but Giulia tells him it's not worth risking his life over a Vespa. Especially a run down Vespa. (Giulia didn't say that last part, that was my own thought). </p><p>Luca swims to the island with the stone lighthouse where he finds Alberto at the top. He apologies, but Alberto is having none of it. On the wall, Lua notices a bunch of marks scratched into the wall, counting off days that Alberto has been living on his own. It turns out his dad told him he was old enough to be on his own and just left him there to fend for himself. He says his dad is better off without him and so is Luca, to which Luca replies he's going to win the race and get that Vespa. </p><p>It's now the day of the race and Luca and Giulia are entering separately. They will have to swim first, then eat (good thinking about not having the eating portion after the swimming segment!), then ride their bikes up, then down the steep terrain. For the swimming relay, Lua is wearing an old scuba diving suit so nobody will see him turn into a sea monster. The suit is so heavy that he has to walk (slowly!) on the ocean floor and can't even swim. Meanwhile, on Ercole's team, he has oiled up one of his cronies so he's nice and slick (Ercole is doing the riding portion) and when they get to the eating portion, he stuff his other teammate's face with pasta (even though that's against the rules!) Giulia is the first to finish the swimming eating legs, but the others, including Luca, are not far behind her. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSMu6CMJ767wdpvKjPQsh3Faw_jG_Pcklpq5g&usqp=CAU" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="168" data-original-width="300" height="113" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSMu6CMJ767wdpvKjPQsh3Faw_jG_Pcklpq5g&usqp=CAU" width="200" /></a></div>Luca has already thought he's seen his parents in town and when he starts riding his bike up the steep hill, he sees them. They know it's him and try to block him, but he just swerves around them and continues. He apologizes and tells them he has to do this. Thunder clouds are starting to appear and by the time he's made it to the top, there's a downpour. (You think they would pause and/or cancel the race because it can't be safe riding a bike down a steep hill during a rainstorm!) Luca has managed to hide under a shelter and sees Alberto running up the hill with an umbrella. This is around the time Ercole starts his ride down the hill and shoves Alberto out of the way so he trips and drops the umbrella, transforming into a sea monster in front of everyone. This causes Ercole to brake on his bike in shock. He charges at Alberto, telling his friends to fetch his harpoon. Luca wants to help, but Alberto has told him to stay where is. However, Luca doesn't listen to him when Ercole and his minions throw a net over Alberto. He rides his bike toward Alberto, and reaches a hand to to him (or a fin in this case since he's now changed into a sea monster) and they both cruise down the hill together. Ercole quickly follows them on his bike with his spear. At one point, he's standing on top of his bike (and they're still going down hill), ready to throw the spear at the sea monsters; but Giulia, who has also been following them, also sees this and runs into him which knocks him off his bike and she also falls off as well. This happens near the bottom, near the fountain, where the finish line is. Luca's and Alberto's plan had been to jump in the water and swim away, but when they see Guilia might be hurt, they both run over to her to make sure she's okay. By this point, a bunch of the townspeople have crowded around, blocking any path for them to escape. Many of them are holding harpoons or nets. Massimo is in the crowd and grabs a harpoon before he starts to walk towards them. Ercole has now joined the crowd, wanting to be the one to kill the two sea monster boys. Giulia (who's okay, by the way) tells him and the other that Luca and Alberto are not monsters and Ercole asks what they are. It is Massimo who tells everyone, "I know who they are. They are Luca and Alberto, and they are the winners" as he drops his spear. Now I thought he was going to say something like, "and they are good friends of my daughter" or something more along those lines, then add that they won the race.<p></p><p>So everyone (except Ercole) is happy. Even Ercole's two cronies give him the old heave-ho. Now all sea-dwelling creatures are accepted and we get a fun reveal of two old ladies who we saw earlier in the movie eating <i>coni gelato </i>are actually seas monsters. (I bet they know Luca's grandma!) All posters promising rewards for capturing sea monsters are torn up. </p><p>When everyone is at the train station to say goodbye to Guilia who is heading to Genoa to go to school, Alberto sees that Luca is sad that he's not attending school with her. After she boards the train, he tells Luca that he sold their Vespa and hand hims a ticket. Luca's parents inform him they've arranged for him to go to school and he'll be staying with Giulia and her mom. Now, when Guilia talked about going to school in Genoa, I just assumed she went to boarding school. It didn't cross my mind that her parents were divorced and she stayed with her dad in the summer. His mom makes him promise to be safe and write every day. We find out it was Alberto that talked everyone into this arrangement. I wonder if Giulia knew about it or if she was surprised when Luca got on the train. Luca asks Alberto if he's going with them, but he's going to stay in Portorosso and help Massimo with his fishing. </p><p>This movie didn't make me turn on the waterworks like most of Pixar's other work (come to think of it, nether did <i>Turning Red)</i>, but it did make me shed a few light tears (so did <i>Turning Red</i>). It is one of their most aesthetically pleasing movies. I would totally visit Portorosso if it were a real place (but mostly because there seems to be no tourists!) And now I need to find some pasta to eat. <i>Arrivederci!</i></p>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-22063587072537751902023-03-02T19:59:00.009-06:002024-03-14T20:15:59.704-05:00Panda Palooza <div style="text-align: left;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Turning Red</span></b></div><div style="text-align: left;">Director: Domee Shi</div><div style="text-align: left;">Voice Talent: Sandra Oh, Rosalie Chiang, Wai Ching Ho</div><div style="text-align: left;">Released: Mach 11, 2022</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2022/03/10/2022-03-10_wide-7cccdb006099b6ea4f2b4a19a24879429ca6e727.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="226" src="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2022/03/10/2022-03-10_wide-7cccdb006099b6ea4f2b4a19a24879429ca6e727.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><p>This movie is Pixar's version of <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/search?q=teen+wolf">Teen Wolf</a> (but better, though that's not that hard to do!). The main character, thirteen-year-old Toronto native Meilin Lee (voiced by Rosalie Chiang), has to be one the most annoying protagonists in Pixar history. We are supposed to think this as her math teacher calls her, "A very enterprising mildly annoying young lady" (heh) and her nemesis, a fellow student named Tyler calls her, "an overachieving dork-narc." She has an overbearing mother named Ming (voiced by Sandra Oh) who she is always trying to please and she is almost too confident to a fault. She plays the flute and I paused the movie to look at the stickers on her flute case and my favorite one was a drawing of a right angle that said "I'm always right." Heh. It's actually very hard to see unless you pause the movie. </p></div><div style="text-align: left;">Her family runs one of the oldest temples in Toronto where they honor their ancestors instead of a god. Their "most revered ancestor", Sun Yee, was "a scholar, poet, and defender of animals." She loved the red panda the most and Mei has a red panda cardboard costume she wears when tourists come to the temple. This will come into play later, but I really don't understand why she needs to dress up in a red panda costume.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lumiere-a.akamaihd.net/v1/images/pp_turningred_herobanner_mobile_21513_af22610c.jpeg?region=0,0,640,480" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="151" src="https://lumiere-a.akamaihd.net/v1/images/pp_turningred_herobanner_mobile_21513_af22610c.jpeg?region=0,0,640,480" width="200" /></a></div>Mei has a close group of friends that include Miriam, Priya, and Abby. I liked Miriam and Priya, but I found Abby (the one in purple) to be a bit annoying as she tends to shout a lot. The movie is quick to show us that these girls are boy-crazy teeny boppers (does anyone still even use that word anymore?) After school, they stop by the Daisy Mart, a convenience store, and they're all peering in through the front window (looking super obvious, btw), oogling over Devon, the seventeen-year-old who runs the cash register. Heh, I have to wonder if he was named after Canadian actor Devon Sawa who all the pre-teen girls loved in the '90s. All the girls are googling over Devon except for Mei. She is not impressed. She reminds her friend what "real men look like" and shows them the cover of her <i>Tween Beat</i> magazine which features 4*Town, the "Hottest Band of the Year" (and has five members, despite their name). They are a little bit BSB, a little bit N'Sync, a little bit One Direction, a little bit BTS. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://markb4.files.wordpress.com/2022/04/turningred4town.png?w=840&h=385" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="367" data-original-width="800" height="92" src="https://markb4.files.wordpress.com/2022/04/turningred4town.png?w=840&h=385" width="200" /></a></div>All the girls love 4*Town, but Mei may be the most ga-ga over them. I laughed over her introduction of the band to the viewers: "Jesse went to art school. Tae Young fosters injured doves. Robaire speaks French. And Aaron T. and Aaron Z. are like, really talented, too." Bwah! I love the brush off of the two Aarons. Do you think they are the Chris Kirkpatrick/Louis Tomlinson of 4*Town? (Yes, I had to look up their names). Also, when did Jesse have time to go to art school? I'm not sure how old the members are supposed to be, but I'm guessing 16/17. This teenager who is in a superstar pop group has attended art school? Huh? Mei is the most infatuated with Robaire who is the Justin Timberlake/Harry Styles of the group.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://64.media.tumblr.com/933e65d8b11676a07d1e6c72829ab1b5/32fadc78abaf3d28-46/s540x810/2a9f0958e9bd561077f5cef5a02b59227516848a.gif" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="540" height="148" src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/933e65d8b11676a07d1e6c72829ab1b5/32fadc78abaf3d28-46/s540x810/2a9f0958e9bd561077f5cef5a02b59227516848a.gif" width="200" /></a></div>Mei's mother is the more dominant of the parents, so her father is more in the background, but we do get to see him shine when we see him cooking dinner. This is an amazing scene that makes me feel like I'm watching an episode of <i>Top Chef</i>. (Ooh, now I want a <i>Top Chef</i> Pixar-style show with Mei's dad, Remi from <i>Ratatouille</i>, the guy who makes pasta in<i> Luca,</i> uh, who are some other chefs/cooks in Pixar history?) Lettuce is being chopped, oil is being poured into a pan, peppers are being tossed in said pan, dumplings are cooking in boiling water. None of this is even real, but the animation is so beautiful and amazing and realistic that it looks real and it makes me so hungry! I could really go for some dumplings right now. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">While watching TV, a commercial for the 4*Town concert comes on to announce that the tickets for their North American tour are on sale now. Ming doesn't get this group and is just shaking her head in disgust. Obviously Mei has never told her mom she likes this group even though you think Ming would pick up on this since she gets super excited when the commercial comes on. She tells her mom that she knows some of the kids at school like them, but because she wants her mother's approval, she doesn't tell her that she likes them too. (Obsessed with them is more like it!)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">While doing math homework in her room (and listening to 4*Town on her headphones), Mei starts doodling a picture of a boy in her notebook. I assumed it was supposed to be one the members of 4*Town, but then she notices it "kinda looks like Devon." She draws a "sexy" picture of him, then rolls under her bed with her notebook and pencil and starts drawing more pictures, my favorite being Devon as a merman. Hilarious. When her mom knocks on the door to bring her a snack, she panics and quickly rolls out from under the bed and jumps on her bed, trying to be casual. In the haste, she had knocked her notebook out from under the bed so half of it is visible. She tells herself to be cool and not look at the notebook and attract any attention to it, but of course she does and her mom follows her gaze and sees it. She picks it up, thinking it's Mei homework and wanting to check it.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://static01.nyt.com/images/2022/03/09/arts/turningred1/merlin_203538648_c8686f0b-c417-4ed3-af3a-be070cede63b-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="324" data-original-width="600" height="108" src="https://static01.nyt.com/images/2022/03/09/arts/turningred1/merlin_203538648_c8686f0b-c417-4ed3-af3a-be070cede63b-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale" width="200" /></a></div>Now I find Mei to be extremely annoying, but there were times when I felt for her and this was one of those times. Her mother sees the "sexy" drawings of this boy, one of them being him holding a lovestruck Mei in his arms. There's honestly nothing that scandalous or predatory about these pics, but Ming doesn't see it that way. She is outraged and asks Mei if this boy did these things to her. The only picture we actually see where Mei is also in them is the one where we're shown so I have no idea what other things she drew. Ming immediately recognizes him as "the sketchy clerk from the Daisy Mart" because of his distinct hat. The next thing Mei knows, her mom has driven her to the conveniance store and she marches inside where she rips Devon a new one. Mei barely even has time to try to explain anything and even if she did, it's clear her mother isn't listening. Her mother definitely overreacted. I'm not even sure if this is the worst thing she does in the movie or another scene in the movie. Oh, and there is anther scene toward the end which is pretty bad. Oh, and one before that. Heh, even though Ming may mean well, she does some pretty embarrassing and unforgiving things to her daughter. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In the scene where Ming is shredding Devon to pieces, I don't know who I feel worse for: Devon or Mei. Devon is being accused of things he's never done, but a bunch of other kids are there to witness this, including Tyler. Mei's mother has even brought the drawings which she slams down right in front of Devon as she falsely accuses him of taking advantage of her daughter. Everyone sees these and just start howling with laughter. Oh, man. Poor Mei. How absolutely mortifying. To make things worse, the next day at school, she will find these drawings all over because Tyler took them and posted them all over the school corridors. I don't know why Mei just didn't grab the drawings before she left, but maybe she just wanted to get out of there.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So this whole episode is the catalyst for what is about to happen the next day. She wakes up as a red panda the next morning. Now she's still her regular size (perhaps a little taller), but is just now a red panda. Red pandas are pretty small; about 20-25 inches long (thank you, Google), so it's not like she's the size of an actual red panda because than she would be much smaller. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://d23.com/app/uploads/2022/03/1180w-600h_031022_meet-the-characters-turning-red_00.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="407" data-original-width="800" height="102" src="https://d23.com/app/uploads/2022/03/1180w-600h_031022_meet-the-characters-turning-red_00.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>When she walks into the bathroom (and there is a pretty amusing shot where we see Panda Mei walking across the hall from her bedroom to the bathroom while her parents are at the kitchen table reading the paper and if they had looked up, they would have seen her (and had quite the surprise!). It's when she sleepily glances at herself in the mirror that she sees something is awry. But don't you think you would notice you were a giant fluffy red panda even before you saw yourself in the mirror. I would imagine having all that fur on your body and having a tail would just feel different and you would just know you weren't yourself. (Not to mention she could just glance at her hands, er paws). But this is a trope that's been done in <i>Teen Wolf </i>or <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2013/12/coming-of-age.html">Big or 13 Going on 30</a> or any body morphing movie. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">When she sees herself, she screams and shuts the door and her parents are concerned. Ming knocks on the door, asking if she's okay, thinking Mei might be sick. I got Christina Yang vibes when she asks, "Is it a fever? A stomach ache? Chills? Constipation?" Then she asks her if, "the red peony bloomed." OMG. Ewww. That's way too visual! Before I saw this movie, I had heard that her turning into a red panda was a metaphor for her getting her period (eh, I must have heard wrong because that's not exactly what it is), but I thought it was gonna be more discreet than what it turns out to be. Mei denies that she has her period, then quickly changes her mind and says, "Maybe" in order to explain her odd behavior. Ming thinks it is too soon (what is she talking about? Her daughter is 13! Most girls get it by then, if not even earlier!). She tells Mei she'll get her everything she needs and comes back later with everything she needs (if you didn't get the "red peony blooming", it's pretty obvious now with the supplies she brings). She just straight up barges into the bathroom without knocking first. So not cool. Honestly, I'm surprised she even knocked when Mei was doodling under the bed. Before her mom can see her, Mei has just enough tie to hide behind the shower curtain. I'm surprised Ming couldn't smell her since we saw Panda Mei take a whiff of herself earlier and made a face. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Mei screams at her mom to get out, then feels bad for yelling at her mom and tells her she didn't mean it. She starts crying, declaring she is "a gross red monster" (don't we (females) all feel like that around that time of the month? I know there's nothing I'd rather do than just hibernate in my room wishing for death). Her mother is trying to comfort her, telling her it's not that bad. We see her hand reach for the shower curtain and she starts to pull it back to reveal Panda Mei, but then she becomes distracted by something burning on the stove and runs to the kitchen. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">So just for a second, I thought that maybe Mei didn't really turn into a red panda, that she just saw herself as one and everyone else would see her as her usual self, but no, she is legit a red panda in this.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Panda Mei scurries back to her room where she decides if she just goes back to sleep, then she will wake up as her normal self, as though she's convincing herself that she's just dreaming. She takes a couple of deep breaths and her panda ears vanish; she takes a couple more breaths and she's back to her normal self. The only difference now is that her hair is red instead of black; to match her newly acquired red panda fur. The second she excitedly exclaims, "Yes!", she turns back into a panda. It doesn't take her long to realize that when she gets worked up with emotion, she turns into a panda. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Her mom drives her to school and Mei talks like a zombie, telling her everything is fine. She wears a beanie (or toque, to Canadians) to hide her red hair. Her school is called Lester R. Pearson Middle School and I admit, I had to Google that name to see who he was. He was the 14th Prime Minister of Canada and served from 1963-1968. This is very interesting because I recently found out that the Canadian flag that we're all familiar with today wasn't the national flag of Canada until 1965! That shocked me because that's really not all that long ago. The flag they used to have was red with the Union Jack in the upper left corner (which is usually called the canton) and Canada's Coat of Arms on the right side of the flag. The Coat of Arms changed a few times. There's a lot of red space on this flag. Look, I understand they had the Union Jack on their flag because it's part of the Commonwealth, but their old flag was....not that great. You can see what it looked like (and the different variations of the Coat of Arms) <a href="https://www.canada.ca/en/canadian-heritage/services/flag-canada-history/timeline-national-flag.html">in this link.</a> It was Prime Minister Pearson who proposed Canada would have a new flag while he was in office, and he was right. Anyway, long story short, there was a few candidates for the new purposed Canadian flag (some just as bad as the old flag because they weren't all the different) and the maple leaf flag was the one that was chosen, as we all know. So Canada went from having a meh flag to one of the most iconic and well-known flags in the world. Smart move, Canada. Bet you weren't expecting a little history lesson! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">When Mei walks into school trying not to get overexcited by anything, her friends come up to her and tell her they know what happened last night at the Daisy Mart. Basically, Tyler told them that her mom went nuts and that she's kind of a perv. Heh. At first, she starts to (naturally) get angry, but she's able to calm herself down before she morphs into a big red panda. She just tells her friends that there was a misunderstanding. This is when she sees Tyler putting up the pictures she drew and she declares she's gonna kill him. She's not able to keep her anger in check because she notices one of her hands turns into a fluffy red paw, then she gets a fluffy red tail under her skirt which she is trying to hide, but to no avail. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSdIwxv93WYy8CFqmdN4MuVk65DcJr1FzLdSw&usqp=CAU" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="165" data-original-width="306" height="108" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSdIwxv93WYy8CFqmdN4MuVk65DcJr1FzLdSw&usqp=CAU" width="200" /></a></div>She is able to run to her math class without anyone seeing her tail and is able to calm down as she enjoys math and can just relax and learn. And everything seems to be going well until she sees her mom is outside looking super shady as she's hiding behind a tree and peering out around it. A security guard comes up to her and tells her she can't be there and she should go to the front office. (Which begs the question, why IS she standing outside the window?) We find out that Mei forgot her pads (probably because she doesn't actually have her period) and Ming lifts up the box, waving them so everybody can see. At this point, everyone in the classroom is looking out the window so they don't notice when Mei turns into a red panda. The only one who does see this is Ming. I get that they have Ming coming to the window and trying to get Mei's attention to to give her the pads so Mei will get super embarrassed and turn into a panda, but I don't understand Ming's reasoning in this at all. Why didn't she just put the pads in a paper sack, go to the front office, tell them her daughter forgot something important and make sure she got it, then they could have called Mei to the office and given her the paper bag. There. Problem solved. But yeah, I know, we need it to progress the plot forward. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Mei the panda runs out before anyone can see her. She hides in a bathroom stall and when she walks out of the stall, she runs into a blonde girl who was giving me serious Quinn from<i> Daria </i>vibes (heh, if you ever watched that show). Panda Mei runs out of the school and runs all the way home basically destroying whatever she runs across. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://lumiere-a.akamaihd.net/v1/images/screen_shot_2022-03-01_at_12_6e946411.png?region=0,30,2488,1302" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="419" data-original-width="800" height="105" src="https://lumiere-a.akamaihd.net/v1/images/screen_shot_2022-03-01_at_12_6e946411.png?region=0,30,2488,1302" width="200" /></a></div>While following/chasing Panda Mei though the city, Ming calls her husband to tell him there's been an emergency with their daughter who she finds in her room when she returns home. Her mother is trying to comfort her and when her dad comes in and sees her daughter as a red panda, he asks, "It's happened already?" This stops Mei from crying and she asks, "What did you say?" (Oh, and in case if it wasn't clear; Mei is able to speak when she's a panda). Ming tells her that their ancestor, Sun Yee, had "a mystical connection with red pandas" and asked the god to turn her into one and she got her wish. She passed this down to her daughters when they "came of age" and they passed it to their daughters and so on. Ah, the family curse. </div><p>However, there is good news because Ming tells her there's a cure. She knows this because it happened to her. Mei asks her mom why she didn't warn her about it, which I think is a pretty valid question. Her mom tells her she thought she had more time. To get rid of the panda, she'll have to undergo a ritual at the next red moon that will seal her red panda spirit. She shows Mei the necklace she's wearing which has her panda spirit sealed in it. I don't know, I feel like it would be better to keep that tucked away in a jewelry box than wearing it because you never know if that thing might break or something....just saying. Of course, I'm probably just saying this in hindsight as I've already seen the movie and know what happens. Ming warns her daughter that any strong emotions will release the panda and the more the panda is released, the more difficult the ritual will be and she only has one chance to banish it. Mei is dismayed when the next red moon won't be until May 25th, which is nearly a month away. </p><p>The next morning, her friends come to her bedroom window (her room is on the first floor) to check on her. As fas as they know, Mei ran away because her mother embarrassed her by bringing pads. I love how one of her friends asks her, "You need more pads? I brought extra." Mei, in panda form, is hidden from the window so they don't see her. However she forgets she's a panda when Abby announces, "4*Town's coming to Toronto!" (Of course 4*Town is coming to Toronto! They just announced their North American tour and Toronto is the biggest city in Canada). Panda Mei appears in the window, excitedly exclaiming, "What?!" Her friends scream and she pulls all three of them in through the window (strong panda!) and tells them to be quiet and they oblige. She explains her red panda form as some "inconvenient genetic thingy [she] got from [her] mom." </p><p>Her friends tell her 4*Town is coming May 18th and this upsets Mei even more because she'll still have her panda powers. Her friends make her feel better by singing a 4*Town song ("I never met nobody like you....") and she changes back to a girl. She explains to her friends that she only changes into a red panda when she gets too excited, so Abby pinches her and Mei gets mad, but she doesn't change into a panda. When she asks Abby to hit her (and she gives her a pretty good smack!) and still doesn't change into a panda, she realizes that being around her friends calms her down and neutralizes the panda. They all realize this means that Mei can attend the concert after all so that night they all decide they're going to ask their parents if they can attend the concert.</p><p>Mei tells her parents she think she's made a breakthrough and she goes through a test where they attempt to bring up sore subjects to see if she can control her emotions and not turn into a panda. This includes deforestation, a picture of a sad orangutan, and her second place spelling bee trophy. But it's not just negative emotions that turn her into a panda, it's also feelings of euphoria, so the last test is a boxful of adorable kittens and at first Mei can't control her excitement (hell, neither could I!), but then she thinks of her friends and is able to remain calm. Her mom asks her how she is able to control her panda and she replies, "When I start to get emotional, all I do is imagine the people I love most in the world." Of course Ming thinks she's talking about her and Mei confirms this so as not to hurt her mother's feelings. </p><p>She asks her parents about the concert and her mom replies, "absolutely not." She doesn't think Mei will be able to stay calm and will get too excited at the concert. I have to agree with Ming here. In fact, we see Mei daydreaming about attending the concert with her friends and they're all screaming their heads off and going crazy. There's no way she would not get excited even with her friends around. However, even if there wasn't the whole panda business thing going on, Ming still would have told her no. After Mei goes to her room in a huff, Ming is venting to her husband. She doesn't understand why a ticket costs $200. "Who do they think they are? Celine Dion?" Heh. </p><p>The next day we find out the other girls can't go to the concert either. One of them says her parents says she can go when she's 30, another one's parents called it "stripper music" (heh) and the third girl's parents said yes, but she has to buy her own ticket. The girls decide they're gonna go to the concert and will just tell their parents they're sleeping over at Miriam's house. I'm pretty sure she was the one who said her parents would let go to the concert as long as she paid for the ticket, so maybe her plan is to tell her parents the other girls are also allowed to go? :::shrug:::</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://media.tenor.com/6eIeE0tjrbAAAAAd/turning-red-red-panda.gif" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="360" data-original-width="640" height="113" src="https://media.tenor.com/6eIeE0tjrbAAAAAd/turning-red-red-panda.gif" width="200" /></a></div>As they're thinking of ways to make money, Abby asks Mei to turn into the panda because she wants a "hit". They're in the girl's bathroom and after Mei turns into the panda, the door opens and a few girls walk in, including the bubbly blonde girl who saw the panda the other day. I love that she has butterfly clips in her hair because I used to do that (only a couple times, though, cuz it took forever) back in the late '90s/early 2000s. All the girls are in love with the panda and think it's "the cutest thing ever!" and this is how Mei and her friends realize how much people love the panda and they can take advantage of that by having people pay to take pictures with the panda as well as receive hugs from the panda and buy panda paraphernalia. Mei tells her mom that she's joined the Mathletes (you'd think she was already a part of that club) to have an excuse for not being home after school. We get a montage of kids waiting in line outside the classroom where Mei and her friends have established their business (they never make any mention if any teachers know what's going on) as Abby collects money from them before they get a Panda picture or buy t-shirts or key chains. Hell, they even sell red panda tails. They also never mention where they get the money to buy their merch. I guess from their own stash. When one of Mei's friends sees Ming approaching with snacks, she warns everyone and the girls turn the room into a regular classroom where it looks like they're studying math. <p></p><p>The concert is only a few days away and the girls are still $100 short. They're discussing this while sitting on the bleachers watching some boys run track. The girls are "whoo hooing" the boys (that sounds really dirty, especially if you play The Sims!) and Mei even shouts at one of them, "Are you a triangle? Cuz you acute." Oh, God, that is so cringe. I can't see any thirteen-year-old girl (any age, really) saying something so lame and embarrassing unless they were really that un-self-aware, which Mei may be. Tyler is under the bleachers and is ready to blackmail Mei. He asks Mei if her mom knows she's been "flaunting the panda all over school." He's having a birthday party and wants Mei to be there as the panda so it will be "epic". It's the day before the concert and she agrees if he'll pay her $200 and once he agrees to that, she tells him she'll only be the panda for an hour. Look, I know Tyler is a little sh*t, but Mei can't stay for a couple hours? Also, when do the girls plan on buying their tickets? I feel like all the tickets would be sold out now, but maybe things were different in 2002. Oh, have I mentioned this movie takes place in 2002? I don't think I have because it hasn't organically come up. </p><p>I was confused during the scene when Mei is heading to Tyler's house for his birthday party. She tells her parents she's going to a meeting of the Mathletes, but isn't that right after school? I understand that Tyler's party is probably later in the evening, around seven, but why not just tell your mom you're going to one of your friends' house. Or just stay after school and call her from there and tell her you're going somewhere with your friends. I don't know! But I guess we need to have it this way because when she tells her parents this, her mom insists that she joins, which is just super weird to me. </p><p>Earlier in the movie, Ming had gotten a call from her own mother, Wu, (who's retired in Florida) who had seen the news coverage of a red panda wrecking havoc around Toronto, so she knew exactly what was up. She had told Ming she was coming "with reinforcements" because she doesn't think Ming can handle Mei and her panda. And sure enough, as Mei and Ming are walking outside, Mei's grandmother and aunts (four of them) have arrived. Now Mei definitely can't go to Tyler's (not sure how she was planning on ditching her mom if her relatives hadn't shown up) because she needs to stay to open presents and eat and chat about the panda. While all this is going on, we get a small scene over at Tyler's house where everyone is sitting in the living room (boys on one side, girls on the other side) looking bored and awkward. Tyler, of course, is pretty irked.</p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://d2rd7etdn93tqb.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/turning-red-grandma-finds-meis-red-panda-fur-032222.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="426" data-original-width="800" height="107" src="https://d2rd7etdn93tqb.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/turning-red-grandma-finds-meis-red-panda-fur-032222.png" width="200" /></a></div>Mei feigns being tired, then hurries to her room where she puts stuffed animals under her bed (honestly, does that even work in real life? That's such a cliche in movies and TV shows), but before she can escape out her window, her grandma comes into her room to have a little chat with her. She tells Mei she knows she's been changing into the panda because she found a tuft of red fur. She knows "it feels so good to let the beast out, so free", but warns her granddaughter that each time she does, it will get stronger and she'll be bound to it forever and the "ritual will fail." She says she and Mei's mother were once close (you can tell their relationship is a bit strained now), but the panda took it away. Wu has a scar above her left eye, so obviously she was attacked by Ming when she was in panda form. She tells Mei there can be no more panda because she is "[her] mother's whole world." Now while Wu is having this conversation with her granddaughter, is it interesting that she doesn't seem to notice that there is obviously something stuffed under her covers! <p></p><p>After Wu leaves her room, Mei still sneaks out. She takes her grandmother's advice and shows up to Tyler's house in the cardboard red panda costume that we saw earlier in the movie and I mentioned would come back. So here it is. Everyone is disappointed and Tyler's angry. He tells Mei he wants his money back since he's paying for the real panda and "not this garbage." </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BOWY3MGU3OGItOWFiNi00ZmRjLTg0NTUtMzNkYmM1YzM0YzRmXkEyXkFqcGdeQVRoaXJkUGFydHlJbmdlc3Rpb25Xb3JrZmxvdw@@._V1_QL75_UX500_CR0,0,500,281_.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="281" data-original-width="500" height="112" src="https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BOWY3MGU3OGItOWFiNi00ZmRjLTg0NTUtMzNkYmM1YzM0YzRmXkEyXkFqcGdeQVRoaXJkUGFydHlJbmdlc3Rpb25Xb3JrZmxvdw@@._V1_QL75_UX500_CR0,0,500,281_.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Her friends take her aside and she tells them she can't turn into the panda anymore (but doesn't explain why). They are understanding and each one starts sacrificing their spot at the concert (remember, they only have enough money for three tickets). Finally, Miriam (rationally) says, "If we can't all go, then none of us should go." The four friends are really sad and disappointed and a frustrated Mei says to herself, "just one last time" as she turns into the panda. This immediately livens up the party and we get a montage of everyone partying with the panda set to "Bootylicious" by Destiny's Child. "Kelly, can you handle this? Michelle, can you handle this? Beyonce, can you handle this? I don't think they can handle this. Whoooo!" It's panda-monium! Yes, you may groan at my awful pun. <p></p><p>Back at the Lee household, Ming goes to check on Mei and when she opens her bedroom door, the first thing she notices is that the window is open. Rookie mistake. You would think the next thing she would notice would be the stuffed animals under the covers, but it's the red panda merch that's sticking out from under the bed. (Mei really does a terrible job of hiding things). She looks under the bed and sees the money and all the evidence of what they've been up to. She also notices the flyer for Tyler's party so she knows where she is. </p><p>But before Ming is about to show up, we get a scene of the four girls on top of Tyler's roof after Panda Mei giving panda rides and shaking her panda booty to "Bootylicious" and what not. They're excitedly talking about the concert they now have enough money for all of them to attend. So I haven't mentioned yet that Mei has a Tamagotchi. You always see it with her, but it's never really a huge plot point...until a little bit later. I remember them being a huge thing in the late 90s. I never had one because I was a little too old for them...plus, honestly, I didn't see the appeal of them. I feel like they would be fun at first, but would get boring after awhile. Anyway, Mei has named her Tamagotchi "Robaire Jr" and she tells it, "You're gonna meet your daddy." Oh, dear God, these girls are so cringe. And so thirsty. Look, I've had my celebrity crushes (Diego Luna has an open invitation to teach me Spanish anytime), but boyband crushes just seems so low-brow. :::Scoffs:::: </p><p>They talk about Mei's upcoming ritual and Miriam asks her what if she kept the panda instead of doing the ritual. Her friends like how the panda has changed her, how she's more rebellious. They start calling each other and everything "da bomb" which cracked me up because I remember using that phrase in the early 2000s. </p><p>There's a portable radio with them on the roof and we hear the DJ announce that 4*Town is coming to Toronto on the 25th, NOT the next day. Ruh-roh. Who didn't see that coming? Mei starts freaking out since that's also the day of the ritual and Abby tries to calm her down because she is sure the DJ is wrong. She gets out the magazine insert with the cities and tour dates listed on it, and sure enough, they are coming to Toronto on the 25th. It's Toledo where they'll be tomorrow. I can't believe she got the date of her favorite band coming to her own town wrong! You would think one of the other three would double check this as well. </p><p>Because of this, Mei is already in a pretty pissy mood, but she becomes even more agitated when Tyler tells her she needs to get back to work (apparently her hour wasn't up) and she turns into the panda and almost ends up attacking him. By this time, Ming has arrived and sees what's going on. Tyler's parents are furious and she has to apologize for her daughter. After his parents tell everyone to go home, Ming walks right past Mei (who is expecting her mother to yell at her) and right up to her three friends and tells them, "I can't believe you girls would use her like this." She then proceeds to accuse all of them of putting thoughts into Mei's head and now she's "lying and sneaking out." She also blames them for using her to get the money for the concert tickets and doesn't believe that her daughter likes this group of "tacky delinquents." (Ouch, sick burn, Ming!) She concludes that her daughter is "a good girl and [they've] taken advantage of her." When her friends expectantly look at Mei to get her to tell her mom the truth, she says nothing and seeks comfort from her mom, Damn, that's cold. You suck, Mei. </p><p>A week passes and we see Mei's three friends without her at the concert purchasing their tickets. Mei is eating dinner with her family and will soon be getting ready for the ritual to rid of the panda. She has a heart to heart with her dad and he asks if her mom has ever told her about her panda, but Mei says she hasn't; that she won't talk about it. Her father tells her that Ming's panda was "destructive" and "big" (and he ain't lying!) and that he only saw it once when she and her mother had a terrible fight over him because Wu didn't approve of him. (Don't get too much of that backstory, but I guess it explains why the relationship between Ming and Wu is a bit strained). </p><p>The ritual involves Mei sitting inside a large circle that's been drawn with chalk and her aunts chanting in Cantonese. Apparently, the doors to the realm Mei needs to get into will only open if people are singing from their hearts. We find out it doesn't even matter what's being sung (a little foreshadowing there). At the last minute, Mei decides she wants to keep her panda form and breaks the ritual as she runs away to the concert. Ming tries to hold her back from escaping, but Mei throw her back and Ming's necklace (containing her panda spirit) ends up cracking. Gee, I wonder what ever will happen. Oh, look, her panda spirit is swirling around her. I think she's about to become a (big and destructive) red panda! </p><p>Mei transforms between girl and red panda as she traverses through Toronto to the SkyDome (I guess it's called Rogers Centre now) and she's swinging through buildings and falling and flying like she's Spider-(wo)man or something. I love how she just free falls in through the stadium as the red panda and lands on her feet as herself pretty much right in front of her friends, who are pretty quick to accept her apology. She tells them she didn't say anything to her mother because she didn't want to disappoint her mother, but the thought of losing her friends made her feel even worse. Eh, I don't know. If I were her friend, I would have have given her the cold shoulder a little bit longer. She was touched because apparently, she had left her Tamagotchi at Tyler's and Miriam had been taking care of it so it wouldn't die. (So did you have to buy a new one if it died? Cuz if so, I bet those "died" pretty often so they would make you spend more money to buy another one!) </p><p>Speaking of Tyler, they spot him in the crowd and they're excited he's a "4*Townie" and pretty much immediately accept him. Um, okay, sure. This is only the kid who humiliated Mei by posting those drawings she did of "Dreamy Devon" all over the school and blackmailing her to make her perform at his party. </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://y.yarn.co/09f355c2-5698-47ba-86ce-b356d44837e2_screenshot.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="431" data-original-width="800" height="108" src="https://y.yarn.co/09f355c2-5698-47ba-86ce-b356d44837e2_screenshot.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>So the concert starts and the five boy band members are all dressed in white with angel wings (oh man, it's so hilarious) and everyone is going wild and the girls, especially Mei, look like they're about to faint. Mei is even close to touching Robaire when her mom, as the "big and destructive" red panda comes over to wreck things. And when I say "wreck", I mean that literally! You know how big Godzilla or the Marshmallow Man from <i>Ghostbusters</i> was? Ming's red panda is about that size too. And I thought Mei's red panda was big for a red panda! I don't know why Ming's panda was so freakin' huge! The 4*Town members, "flying" over the stage with wires look pretty terrified when they see this huge Godzilla panda stomping toward them and it's pretty hilarious. <p></p><p>Ming is hollering at everyone to go home and everyone goes running because they don't want to be squished by a huge red panda and they're all pretty pissed that the concert has been ruined. (And let's remember, only the first song of the show was being sung when Giant (red) Panda Ming showed up. </p><p>Luckily Mei's dad, grandma, and aunts have all showed up to help stop Ming. They need to perform the ritual on her so she can rid of her panda. None of them are strong enough to contain her, so Wu and her daughters break their jewelry that contain their pandas to help Mei (who is also in her panda form). These pandas must have some super strength because they're able to contain Panda Ming in the huge chalk circle Mei's dad has drawn. Mei's friends have gotten 4*Town to sing (remember, I said this would come back) so the ritual will work and Ming (and Wu and the aunties) are able to banish their pandas, but Mei keeps hers. So perhaps we'll see a sequel (or more) in the future. </p><p>In the epilogue, Mei tells us that "people still talk about Pandapocalypse of 2002" and that Ming's panda is now housed in Mei's Tamagotchi and her Grandma's panda is in a 4*Town plastic pendant. God, how embarrassing!</p><p>They are raising money for the ruined SkyDome, so now Mei can actually turn into a red panda at their temple and they make money by taking pics and selling merch. (Sounds familiar!) Their goal is 100 million and they only have $10,000 so far. Oh, boy.</p><p>Here is a picture of the director (Domee Shi) with a red panda at the San Francisco zoo. How cute is that? </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.mousesteps.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/20191206SFZooTurningRedResearchTrip03.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="492" data-original-width="700" height="225" src="https://www.mousesteps.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/20191206SFZooTurningRedResearchTrip03.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-31103541249139834542023-02-15T15:04:00.001-06:002023-02-15T15:04:32.076-06:00I rank the Toy Story movies! I recently watched the four <i>Toy Story</i> movies and thought I would rank them! Of course, they're all wonderful, so just because a movie is ranked last (one of them has to be ranked last!) doesn't mean it's bad. It just means it's my fourth favorite! Oh, and I'm just going to go into these like you've seen these movies many times before, so don't read this if you've never seen these movies (what rock are you living under, anyway?) <div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://64.media.tumblr.com/9992b05876ac3d3e0d3e966483b5d343/f6a68100ed09b6a0-cd/s540x810/76c5d2186d150920221d2154c46831663b953691.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="304" data-original-width="540" height="113" src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/9992b05876ac3d3e0d3e966483b5d343/f6a68100ed09b6a0-cd/s540x810/76c5d2186d150920221d2154c46831663b953691.gif" width="200" /></a></div>4. <b>Toy Story 2</b> - I must confess that it was difficult choosing between my third and fourth favorites; honestly they could easily switch spots. It was the first two spots I was confident what I would place where. So a movie where toys come to life whenever humans aren't around isn't the most realistic plot for a movie, but despite that, the movies are kept pretty much within the realm of reality...except for this one. This movie gets a little crazy at times with how nonsensical it gets. We have the toys (Buzz Lightyear, Hamm, Slinky Dog, Mr. Potato Head, Rex) going to rescue Woody from Al's Toy Barn when he was stolen at a garage sale. </div><div><br /></div><div>Oh, wait, can we touch on one thing before I forget? Okay, so Woody has sneaked down to the garage sale with the help of Buster the dog because Andy's mom took Wheezy, a rubber penguin squeaky toy, to be sold at the garage sale. Woody was placed high on a shelf after Andy ripped his sleeve and that's where he saw Wheezy behind a bunch of dusty old books. Apparently, this is a place where broken toys go before they're tossed or sent to a garage sale or donated. Wheezy was put up here when his squeaker stopped working, with Andy's mom telling him (her son, obviously, not the toy, because Andy's mom doesn't know toys are sentient!) that she'll get the squeaker fixed, but she never does. Now let's think about this: Andy is probably about 8 or 9, there's no way he's playing with a baby squeaker toy anymore. Wheezy probably broke when he was 4 or 5. I don't think Woody has anything to worry about because he's Andy's favorite toy and he means something to him over some stupid rubber penguin squeaker toy (sorry, Wheezy). Woody does save Wheezy, only to find out in the third movie that he's been sold. Honestly, Woody got himself stolen for no reason at all.</div><div><br /></div><div>Okay, let's go back to why this movie is the most unrealistic among the four (and remember, this is a movie where toys come to life and talk to each other!) When Buzz and the others realize Woody is being taken to the airport where he will spend the rest of his life behind a glass case in a museum in Tokyo (that's in Japan!), they drive from Al's Toy Barn to the airport. Yes, the toys themselves drive with absolutely no human help. One of them is giving directions, one of them is on the brakes, and one of them is steering, but still. At least in the first and third movie, they hitch a ride from the pizza guy and garbage man, respectively, and in the fourth movie, they do mess with the RV, but Bonnie's dad is still driving it. Also, while we never see it, we do find out they drove from the airport back to the house in one of those airport trams that carry the luggage to the plane. You would think that somebody would notice a car being erratically driven wasn't being driven by a human, but yet, that's never an issue. </div><div><br /></div><div>Oh, and speaking of absolutely ridiculous scenes, I think even the people working on <i>Toy Story 2</i> knew how absurd the scene where Woody rescues Jessie from the plane is. I had actually forgotten about this scene and literally gasped when the suitcase Jessie is in is taken onto the plane...even though I know she's in the next two movies! The scene where the camera pans out and we see this huge commercial airliner taxiing down the runway with Woody riding Bullseye (and managing to keep up with the plane!) is one of the most funniest and ridiculous things in these movies. </div><div><br /></div><div>As far as villains go, Stinky Pete is a decent villain, but I would probably rank him last...or at least third. In <i>TS4</i>, you think Gabby Gabby is going to be the villain when you first meet her, but she's not. Sid and Lotso are much more interesting villains and we'll discuss them more when we get to their movies. I did feel a little bad for Stinky Pete because no kid wanted to buy him (hence why he was still in his original box!), but can you blame the kids of the '50s? Of course, the boys are going to go for Woody and the girls are going to go for Jessie, and who can resist the adorable Bullseye? Of course Stinky Pete is going to be the last choice! I do wonder what would have happened if Pete had taken Woody's offer to join him and be one of Andy's toys. I think Andy would have played with him....he had an active imagination and I'm sure he could have put Pete to good use. Maybe Stinky Pete would have loved the attention he got from a kid. I am very disappointed we never got to see him being played with by his new owner, the artistic Amy. We could have seen that in the end credits, but instead we get those "bloopers", which I don't like (and explain why <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2019/05/toy-story-thoughts.html">here</a> (point #5)) in a post titled "<i>Toy Story</i> Thoughts". (Keep that link handy; I'll reference it a few times more). </div><div><br /></div><div>Of course, even though I may have this ranked last of the <i>Toy Story</i> movies, there's still plenty to love about it. It's fun seeing Woody's origins, Jessie's backstory is heartbreaking (though, don't most toys go through this with their kids growing up and outgrowing them?), there are great new characters introduced, etc. Oh and I love the way Jessie (or Joan Cusack, rather) says, Everybody knows your name, Wood-<i>eeeee</i>!" Just the points I discussed is why it's ranked last. </div><div><br /></div><div>I will say, I do love the "You saved our lives. We are eternally grateful" line from the aliens and how it will come back in the third movie. Also, the scene where Woody is being stitched up and polished is really good, too. </div><div><br /></div><div>3. <b>Toy Story 4</b> - Like I said, my third and fourth spots could easily switch places, but honestly, they're more likely tied for third place. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://64.media.tumblr.com/0a48c0de9036a8c97e64fe340b92c10d/efb2404c54ea8be8-eb/s540x810/9ead85ae18683dac922e96743d66eea1596ccc2b.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="250" data-original-width="540" height="93" src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/0a48c0de9036a8c97e64fe340b92c10d/efb2404c54ea8be8-eb/s540x810/9ead85ae18683dac922e96743d66eea1596ccc2b.gif" width="200" /></a></div>I understand with each <i>Toy Story</i> movie, we're going to get more characters, and that's expected, but I feel like there are so many new characters in the fourth installment that the original characters we know and love from the first (and second) film(s) feel like ancillary characters. And let's not forget we have all of Bonnie's original toys joining in on the fun. Bunny and Ducky are funny, but they spend way too much time on that "plush rush" scene. I will say Forky is my favorite new character; I laugh when he starts calling out, "Bo, Bo, Bo, Bo, Bo" when he and Woody are looking for her in the antique shop even though he's never met her. They do finish the Forky storyline quite quickly; I remember being surprised by that. </div><div><br /></div><div>I talked about this in my <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2019/07/back-to-toy-box.html">review</a>, but I don't know how I feel about Woody joining Bo. I just have a hard time believing he would leave Buzz, Jesse, and Bullseyes, who he has a closer relationship to (not to mention the other OG toys) to stay with Bo, but I digress. They should make another <i>Toy Story</i> movie where Andy is now grown and married with a couple of kids and he finds his old pal Woody (maybe in an antique shop, maybe in some random place) and he takes him and his kids start playing with Woody. Wouldn't that make everyone feel all warm and fuzzy? Heck, let's have Andy find his other old toys (maybe they were donated or Bonnie's family had a garage sale) and now everybody is once again reunited. Of course, Andy's kids probably would't want to play with the toys Andy placed with as a kid, but let's not even think about that! Edit: I wrote that before I even knew there was a<i> Toy Story 5 </i>in the works, so let's see if my prediction comes true. (Probably not). </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://64.media.tumblr.com/70f9ae024161d248c46841a356155f9c/85640af56b58177f-1f/s540x810/5e9e8f4ddd9a61cbc53f86b07b1fc3467085a9e1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="540" height="148" src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/70f9ae024161d248c46841a356155f9c/85640af56b58177f-1f/s540x810/5e9e8f4ddd9a61cbc53f86b07b1fc3467085a9e1.gif" width="200" /></a></div>2. <b>Toy Story </b>- Okay, this could be based on nostalgia, but if it were pure nostalgia, this would be in first place, no? I will say the animation compared to <i>TS4</i> isn't on par, but you have to remember there is a 24 year gap between those two movies! The humans, in particular, aren't the best looking with this new technology. It is amazing seeing Sid's dog in this movie, then the cat in the antique store in <i>TS4</i>. It's astonishing what 24 years of technological advancement can do! At least 98% of this movie revolves around toys which, I think, still look pretty good, even with antiquated '90s computer technology. Obviously, this is when we meet all the toys, when we get the start of one of the best duos in movie history and the iconic movie line, "To infinity and beyond!" And even though Woody's lines aren't as popular as that one, I still love "Reach for the skyyyyyy!" and "There's a snake in my boots!"</div><div><br /></div><div>It's a simple plot but you get a lot out of it: Woody has always been Andy's favorite toy, but gets jealous when Andy receives Buzz Lightyear for his birthday and starts to change his bedroom's cowboy motif to an outer space motif. Woody attempts to push Buzz off the bed so he'll be on the floor between the wall and bed (a place where toys get lost and/or forgotten, though let's be honest even if Woody did push Buzz in that spot, Andy would have found him), but he ends up accidentally pushing him out the window. The other toys accuse him of doing it on purpose (they know about his feelings about Buzz!) and Woody has to right things, so he goes to rescue Buzz, but they end up getting lost in the Pizza Planet claw machine. </div><div><br /></div><div>Two things:</div><div>a) Pizza Planet looks awesome; that's the kind of place I would love to go as a kid. Now? I would absolutely hate it! </div><div>2) There is no way the claw would be able to grasp onto Buzz's slick plastic helmet. Give me a break, movie! </div><div><br /></div><div>This is the only movie where a human is the villain and not another toy. (I guess you can argue that Al is a villain in<i> TS2</i>, but he's just more of a greedy man who steals toys so he can sell them and make money). I talked about if Sid is a misunderstood kid or a psychopath in the making in the link I posted earlier and I went with the former. Yes, he "tortures" toys by blowing them up and disfiguring them, but he doesn't know they're sentient. The scene where Woody and his disfigured toys come alive to scare him is one of the most memorable scenes in all four movies. The scene is funny, but if you think about it, it's also nightmare fuel. That would freak me the f*** out if ever happened to me. (As a kid or as an adult!) I bet you Sid never played with toys again after that; I sure wouldn't! I did laugh when his sister taunts him with her little doll and he runs away, screaming. Aw, poor kid. </div><div><br /></div><div>Heh, I just thought of something. Sid isn't the only human to see these toys come alive. When Woody and Buzz are trying to catch up to the car and are using RC to race toward it, we see Molly look in the side view mirror and she sees them. Of course, she's a year old at this point and probably doesn't even remember this when she gets older. That scene always makes me crack up. </div><div><br /></div><div>I need to go back to the beginning of the movie and discuss Andy's birthday party. First of all, I have never been to a birthday party (or had one myself) where the first thing on the agenda is the kid opening their presents. No, you play games first. You eat cake and ice cream first. Opening presents is one of the last things you do, at least in my experience. I feel like the kid is just going to want to play with their new toys if they open them first. </div><div><br /></div><div>Also, I find it hard to believe that Andy didn't get any toys at all for his birthday from his guests. From what we know, he got a lunch box, a board game, and bedsheets (who gives bedsheets for a child's birthday party? That's only acceptable if the giver is an adult, but another kid wouldn't give bedsheets as a present!) Wasn't it Mr. Potato Head who asked, "Who invited that kid?" Heh.</div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://64.media.tumblr.com/79cc48fd8b405ec75c9f2d1254812430/bff3f317ba44cfe6-c5/s540x810/0166bfefd1b59f1c082598bfd94ec9ccd928e820.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="325" data-original-width="540" height="121" src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/79cc48fd8b405ec75c9f2d1254812430/bff3f317ba44cfe6-c5/s540x810/0166bfefd1b59f1c082598bfd94ec9ccd928e820.gif" width="200" /></a></div>1 <b>Toy Story 3 </b>- <i>Toy Story 3</i> has the best beginning, the best ending, and the best villain. In my opinion, of course. It is also the most emotional. I didn't cry during the first <i>Toy Story</i>, but I did get a little misty-eyed during certain scenes in <i>TS2 </i>and <i>TS4</i>, but this movie had me flat out bawling. </div><div><br /></div><div>The movie takes place about ten years after the events of <i>TS2.</i> Andy is now a teenager and is about to go to college. He still has his toys, but he keeps them all in a toy box and doesn't play with them anymore, which is understandable. Honestly, I'm surprised he was allowed to hold onto his toys for so long.</div><div><br /></div><div>Andy's mom tells him since he's going to college he needs to do some cleaning: what does he want to bring to college, what does he want to store in the attic, and what needs to be thrown away. She's also asked Molly to donate any toys she doesn't play with anymore to the Sunnyside Daycare.</div><div><br /></div><div>There's a huge misunderstanding with the toys when they think Andy is tossing them out, but he actually wants to store them into the attic and he plans on taking Woody with him. The toys manage to escape to the box with the Sunnyside Daycare donations and decide that if Andy thinks they're trash, then they'll just go where they will be played with and wanted. Woody ends up going with them, trying to explain the mix-up, but they're having none of it. </div><div><br /></div><div>Another reason this is my favorite movie in the <i>TSU </i>(heh) is that I love a good prison break story. <i>Shawshank Redemption, Watership Down</i>, uh, the show that's literally called <i>Prison Break</i> (but only the first season!), I'm in! And <i>TS3</i> is a prison break movie.</div><div><br /></div><div>When they first arrive, everything seems hunky-dory. The toys see children playing lovingly and happily with the toys that reside at the daycare. However, what they didn't know was that what they saw were the older kids (probably 4/5, IDK; I'm not good with kid ages!) in the Butterfly Room. Andy's toys have been regulated to the Caterpillar Room which are where the wily toddlers play with their toys. It is pretty funny seeing the toys be terrorized by these toddlers who are screaming and running everywhere while they bang the toys against tables, stick them in their mouths, etc. This is decided by Lotso, the pink stuffed bear who seems to be in charge. Of course, we'll find out later, that he's basically a dictator and runs the place. In the link I've already mentioned twice, I wrote about if Lotso deserves all the hate he gets and my final decision was a resounding yes. Lotso is definitely the most complicated villain in all the <i>TS</i> movies. He has a heartbreaking backstory with being left behind (along with Big Baby and Chuckles....who are both terrifying, though to be fair, Big Baby becomes terrifying after he is abandoned) at the park. Seriously, WTF, Daisy's parents? How did you forget your own daughter's toys? The three toys pull a <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/2016/06/an-incredible-journey.html">A Homeward Bound</a> and manage to find their way back to Daisy's house, only to find out they've been replaced. Well, at least Lotso was replaced. Ouch. </div><div><br /></div><div>This makes Lotso become cynical and jaded and is pretty much the way he is. I guess you can't really blame him. I'm not really sure why he has to be a jerkwad to the other toys, though. Before Andy's toys are even introduced to him, we see him being cuddled by a girl in the Butterfly Room. Obviously, being a fluffy pink bear, he gets lots of love and playtime from the children, so you think he would be fine, but nope. </div><div><br /></div><div>From the time the toys are almost burned in the incinerator to the very end when Andy gives his toys to Bonnie, it's pretty much non-stop tears for me. And I cry Every. Time. I. Watch. This. Movie. (I've probably seen it four or five times). Of course, Lotso has the chance to be redeemed when he can save the toys from being burned alive, but nope, that little piece of sh*t (that smells like strawberries!) decides not to. Eff you, Lotso! </div><div><br /></div><div>This movie may not be the toy's ending, but it is Andy's ending with the toys. That's why I love the beginning of this movie where we get one last time of young Andy playing with his toys with his vivid imagination. </div><div><br /></div><div>Oh, and Chatter Telephone (yes, I had to look up the name of the toy) is one of my favorite ancillary characters in all the movies if only because I remember having this toy as a wee tot and I love how he contributes to the prison break plot of the story with the "They'll never break me" line.</div><div><br /></div><div>How would you rank them? </div>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3740370302697793713.post-63445042540562052952023-01-16T13:12:00.013-06:002024-01-29T05:41:34.592-06:00Jurassic Finale<div><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Jurassic World Dominion</span></b></div><div>Director: Colin Trevorrow </div><div>Cast: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Isabella Sermon, BD Wong, Campbell Scott</div><div>Released: June 10, 2022</div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://wehco.media.clients.ellingtoncms.com/img/photos/2022/06/09/jurassic2_0610_t800.jpg?90232451fbcadccc64a17de7521d859a8f88077d" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="397" data-original-width="800" height="199" src="https://wehco.media.clients.ellingtoncms.com/img/photos/2022/06/09/jurassic2_0610_t800.jpg?90232451fbcadccc64a17de7521d859a8f88077d" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div>Disclaimer: I apologize if I've misspelled any dinosaur names in this review; why do they have to have the most difficult, hard to spell names? </div><div><br /></div><div>This movie has a feeling of finality to it, but I have a feeling that this won't be the last <i>Jurassic Park/World</i> movie we'll see. </div><div><br /></div><div>Boy, there are sure a lot of characters in this movie. There's characters from the first two <i>Jurassic World </i>movies, characters from the original <i>Jurassic Park</i>, new characters that make their debut in this movie, and I'm not even counting the dinosaurs! And pretty much nobody dies except for the bad guys. It's almost like the dinosaurs know who not to attack and eat. </div><div><br /></div><div>This movie has its fun moments and cool new dinosaurs, but overall, it just felt a little disappointing. I think nothing will ever capture the magic that was the original 1993<i> Jurassic Park</i>, but I will admit to having fun watching <i>Jurassic World</i>, too. <i>Dominion</i> takes place in real time, four years after the events of <i>Fallen Kingdom</i>, which I barely remembered anything that happened. Luckily I could read my review of it to refresh my memory. </div><div><br /></div><div>Basically, after the events of that movie, all the dinosaurs are pretty much roaming the Earth freely, living among all of us. Never have I been so glad that this movie is fiction! We get a fictional news show that starts the movie by telling the audience, "To combat the growing threat of illegal poachers, the U.S. Congress awarded sole collection rights to the global giant Biosyn Genetics." This will be our evil cooperation and the CEO is our "bad guy". The CEO just so happens to be Lewis Dodgson (Campbell Scott), the character that was in the first movie. Honestly, I never would have even realized that if it wasn't pointed out to me on a couple movie review podcasts I listened to. He says they are dedicated to the idea that "dinosaurs can teach us more about ourselves" and hopes to study the dinosaurs' "ancient immune systems for unique pharmaceutical properties." He has created a sanctuary for the dinosaurs in the Dolomite Mountains, located in northeast Italy. The decision to put the dinosaurs in this location is baffling. Wouldn't it make more sense to put them on an island? Who's to say they're not just going to cross over into Switzerland or Austria or other European countries? Hell, I'm surprised a pterodactyl didn't fly all the way to Paris and knock over the Eiffel Tower with its massive wing span. Why not just relocate the five million people that reside in New Zealand to Australia (or wherever they want to go) and put the dinosaurs there? No chance of dinosaurs relocating to neighboring countries (well, the flying ones might be able to...). </div><div><br /></div><div>Owen (Chris Pratt) and Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) are still a couple, living together in a shack in the middle of the Sierra Nevada mountains where they are the "parents" of Maisie (Isabella Sermon), the clone girl from the previous movie. I put parents in quotes cuz I'm quite sure they never legally adopted her. She's been living with them for the past four years and they're protecting her because they know there are bad people out there looking for her. This poor girl; having to go from that mansion to this little shack. I bet her room in the mansion was twice as big as the shack she's living in now! No wonder she's so resentful towards them. They have a very strict rule about her not crossing the bridge, but of course she does. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://64.media.tumblr.com/3d07154877433e68d27fff9ac5de5bc0/e2ce17dec2d6a5d4-c2/s540x810/a1cac774e48699c29f8004564d121613dbf64a17.gif" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="540" height="208" src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/3d07154877433e68d27fff9ac5de5bc0/e2ce17dec2d6a5d4-c2/s540x810/a1cac774e48699c29f8004564d121613dbf64a17.gif" width="320" /></a></div>Blue, the not-quite-domesitcated velociraptor has a baby. (And yes, it is actually quite cute seeing the two of them frolicking in the mountain wood together. We see Blue teaching her offspring how to hunt and you think Baby Blue is going to pounce on a rabbit, but then a wolf hunts down the rabbit and then Baby Blue ambushes the wolf, which is much bigger than her, mind you). I was super confused because Blue and Baby Blue (Maisie names the baby "Beta", but Baby Blue is so much better, plus it makes me think of <i>Breaking Bad</i>, heh) are literally living in Owen's back/front yard and he, Claire, and Maisie seemed to have no idea that she was even there. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgSNzbgNRd6oaskSQItZGCVQrSiE6Ogu5s1cgEvVBwkeL0GVPKBYdKPumdtuNbD6wpZq8UzrQIF1peINDMO-1rQQ2oIOITbPlw4K4Oaxdc9MkvEkfu5eO2KfL0nopT2cikDNuZqFnnvNIFm6-uYOiGVmQbMTAr-INw8x6qqcx7LM4KlVN6pCPeeuPnQA/s800/JWDominion02.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="403" data-original-width="800" height="101" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgSNzbgNRd6oaskSQItZGCVQrSiE6Ogu5s1cgEvVBwkeL0GVPKBYdKPumdtuNbD6wpZq8UzrQIF1peINDMO-1rQQ2oIOITbPlw4K4Oaxdc9MkvEkfu5eO2KfL0nopT2cikDNuZqFnnvNIFm6-uYOiGVmQbMTAr-INw8x6qqcx7LM4KlVN6pCPeeuPnQA/w200-h101/JWDominion02.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>It's Maisie who comes across the baby raptor first when she's outside, eating a piece of toast. She holds out the piece of toast, thinking this meat-eating animal wants some carbs and the little raptor snatches it out of her hands. I was seriously worried Maisie was going to lose a hand there. Then Mama Blue shows up, and boy, she's not happy. Luckily Owen shows up (he always seems to show up at the right time; I'm guessing he was viewing this through the windows of his cabin) and puts his hand up to Blue and that seems to be some universal sign to dinosaurs so they don't eat you. Oh, if only Gennaro, Muldoon, Arnold, and Nedry had known about that in <i>Jurassic Park</i>! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know - Owen trained Blue and is able to "control" her, but he will do this same tactic with two other (much larger) carnivores he comes across and while they don't run off like Blue and her baby do, they do pause so he's able to escape before they have him as an afternoon snack. Owen tells Maisie to go inside because he wants to go searching for Blue's nest. I know he's the Raptor Whisperer, but is that really a good idea? </div><div><br /></div><div>Minions working for the movie's bad guy have tracked down Maisie and they kidnap both her and Baby Blue. Owen and Claire are able to get intel that they're being taken to Malta, and we'll come back to them later.</div><div><br /></div><div>Meanwhile, in West Texas, a huge swarm of ginormous locusts (seriously, they're the size of my cat ::::shudder:::) take out a huge field. One is captured under a bucket and everybody's favorite paleobotonist Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern) is there to inspect it. She brings the caged locust to Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neill) and I thought this was the first time we see them in a scene together since <i>Jurassic Park</i>, but they actually had a scene together in <i>JP3</i>. Now, I remember them both being in that movie, but I forgot they actually have a scene together. Also, I had thought both <i>The Lost World </i>and<i> JP3</i> was erased from the <i>Jurassic World</i> storyline, but this storyline has me rethinking that. I'm not sure if I read somewhere that the second and third<i> JP</i> movies were erased from the canon or I just made that up myself. But here, in this movie, Ellie tells Alan she got divorced and mentions her kids are now in college. Of course, it's in <i>JP3</i> where we find out she got married and had two kids. I kinda forgot that her and Dr. Grant were romantically involved in the first movie; they acted more like colleagues than a couple. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://images.immediate.co.uk/production/volatile/sites/3/2022/06/2512TFP00387AR-9881598.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="800" height="133" src="https://images.immediate.co.uk/production/volatile/sites/3/2022/06/2512TFP00387AR-9881598.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Ellie tells him swarms of the locusts are "decimating crops" and they "started as a few hundred, but could be millions by the end of the summer." Um, from I saw on screen, it looks like they're already in the millions! At the rate the locusts are going, there will be no grain to feed chickens or cattle and "the entire food chain would collapse." None of the crops they're eating are Biosyn seed and Ellie is not shocked that they would "want to control the world's food supply." She wants to go to their facility and get DNA from one of their locust and needs Alan to come with her as a witness. She tells him she got an invite from their "in-house philosopher", Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) and he told Ellie there are things there she'd want to see. </div><div><br /></div><div>Okay, now back to Owen and Claire. Maisie and Baby Blue have been kidnapped and Blue, who was knocked down an incline, is snarling at Owen who stands her down and tells her they're going to get her baby back, like the dinosaur can understand English. She snaps at him a few more times, then turns and runs back in the woods. </div><div><br /></div><div>Like I mentioned, Owen and Claire get intel from the dude who was in<i> Fallen Kingdom</i> that there's going to be a "cash for cargo" exchange in Malta the next day. Apparently there's a black market for dinosaurs in this tiny island country. Who knew. They have people who were recruited by the CIA after the park closed down and Barry (who was in <i>Jurassic World</i>) will be able to help them. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this well enough, but honestly, it doesn't really matter. The scene in Malta is just a fun thrill ride, but doesn't really add anything to the plot, besides the fact they find out they're taking Maisie to the Biosyn lab near the Dolomites in Italy. Also, I'm guessing they chose this particular location to house the dinosaurs because they got filming rights in Malta and that was too cool of a place to pass up to film (and it IS cool), so they just made Italy as the permanent home for the dinosaurs. Still think New Zealand would have made much more sense! </div><div><br /></div><div>A cargo pilot, Kayla, who is paid to transport dinosaurs to Biosyn, sees Maisie who is transported over to some evil, sophisticated European woman named Santos. Kayla just so happens to be in the bathroom of some seedy underground lair where dino fights and illegal sales of dinos occur as the same time as Claire who shows her a picture of Maisie and asks if she's seen her. Kayla just replies she can't get involved and walks away. </div><div><br /></div><div>Santos finds out that Maisie's "parents" are in town, so she unleashes these atrociraptors (pretty much the same thing as a velociraptor) who are trained to kill people when they see a laser point at them. Um, do raptors really need to be told who to kill? Owen and Claire are separately being chased by these raptors and this is when Owen finds himself between these two big dinosaurs (they were bigger than a raptor, but smaller than a T-rex) and is able to hold his hands up long enough to give them pause, so he can keep running without getting eaten. The fact that both Claire are Owen are outrunning these super fast dinosaurs is a bit absurd. But soon, Owen gets on a motorbike and Claire, after jumping out a window, lands in a truck that just so happens to be driven by Kayla, so she drives Claire to her cargo plane to take her to Biosyn (Claire found out that's where Maisie is being taken). </div><div><br /></div><div>Kayla is about to start the plane, but here comes Owen, on his motorbike, being chased by a raptor. He manages to steer into the back of the plane, with the raptor right on his tail. The bike slides back, knocking the raptor into the water below them. Claire manages to hang onto a strap and grabs Owen before he can also slide down to the open door. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2022/06/06/USAT/51068c15-bb02-48fc-aa51-7f25d9cdf7e9-2512_TFP_01774AR.jpeg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="800" height="100" src="https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2022/06/06/USAT/51068c15-bb02-48fc-aa51-7f25d9cdf7e9-2512_TFP_01774AR.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div>They are not given clearance to land because the bad guys know Maisie's "parents" are on board. Their ADS (aerial deterrent system) is shut off. Otherwise, when it's turned on, it keeps the airborne life away. Which is a good thing considering there are some giant-ass prehistoric birds flying around like the quetzalocatus. (I swear, where do they come up with these names? Why not just call it what it is - big ass flying dinosaur bird.) It's the same length as the plane which we see as it soars over them, then uses it beak to scrape the top of the plane and smash the front window and take out a couple engines. I did laugh when Kayla tells them what it is and adds, "Late Cretaceous, should have stayed there." </div><div><br /></div><div>Kayla only has one ejection seat and it's the one Claire is sitting in, seated behind the pilot's seat. (You would think the pilot seat would have the capacity to be ejected....duh.) Claire is given instructions by Owen to eject and to use the lever if the parachute doesn't come out automatically. He thinks Claire will have the best chance to find Maisie. Claire ejects her seat and a parachute comes out, but is immediately attacked by all the pterodactyls, so she pulls the lever for the extra parachute and lands in a tree. Owen and Kayla crash into a frozen lake. Gee, I wondered if they survived? Well, come back later and find out, but let's see what Alan and Ellie are up to. </div><div><br /></div><div>They're on a plane flying to the Biosyn lab with Ramsay Cole who is head of communications. We get some exposition as he tells them that Biosyn bought this land in the '90s for the amber deposits (we all know amber is important to the <i>Jurassic</i> storyline!) and have managed to turn it into a "safe haven for about twenty displaced species". They have the first generation dinos from Isla Sorna, but also have most of the ones from Isla Nublar. He also mentions it took them three years to capture the T-rex. Their laboratory is built completely underfund and if they need to herd the dinosaurs to a specific location, they can send "electric signals" with neuro-implants to their brains. Alan and Ellie think this is cruel, that it sounds like they are shocking them. Ramsay asks them, "Do you know how much voltage was in the electric fences at Jurassic Park?" and Grant looks at him like, Duh, yes, of course I do. Nice little callback to the original movie there (and we'll get a few more of those instances). </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/51b3dc8ee4b051b96ceb10de/10a2538f-2d6a-4008-8845-25246243b9ea/two-new-clips-from-jurassic-world-dominion-features-a-reunion-and-a-gigantosaurus.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="113" src="https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/51b3dc8ee4b051b96ceb10de/10a2538f-2d6a-4008-8845-25246243b9ea/two-new-clips-from-jurassic-world-dominion-features-a-reunion-and-a-gigantosaurus.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>I think this is the first movie since the original where we see Grant, Saddler, and Malcolm all together. While Alan and Ellie are ordering coffee, Ian takes Ellie aside and whispers to her that locusts are part of a project called Hexapod Allies and that she is correct about their intent. He tells her where they keep the giant bugs downstairs and hands her an electronic bracelet that will get them through the secured doors. </div><div><br /></div><div>Ramsay asks Alan and Ellie if they would like to tour the facilities by themselves, which seems odd that they would just let the two of them wander off on their own, but it will make sense a little later. He tells them he'll meet them at a certain location in 30 minutes and makes a big show of telling them which elevators NOT to use and if they do, where it will lead them. Why not just say, "Don't use those elevators, they go to a restricted area?" But again, we'll learn later why he's telling them all this. Oh, alright, I might as well just tell you now: Ramsay is on their side and wants them to steal the DNA of the locust so he's pretty much letting them do it and how to do it, but at this point Ellie and Alan (or the audience) don't know this yet. </div><div><br /></div><div>So while they're sneaking into the locust area, we see Maisie and a caged Baby Blue are in a room with Dr. Henry Wu (BD Wong). Henry tells her they needed Baby Blue to help them study her. I was so confused how Blue had a baby, but Henry explains it by saying when they created her, they gave her monitor lizard DNA and they can produce without a mate. Blue and Baby Blue are genetically identical, which is what they have in common with Maisie and Charlotte. If you remember, Charlotte was the daughter of Charles Lockwood, the guy who was Hammond's partner....they're pretty much characters they retconned into this franchise. Maisie is the clone of Charlotte, who died 13 years ago. They mention she had a genetic disease, which I assumed was why she died, but reading over my <i>Fallen Kingdom </i>review, I mentioned she died in a car crash. Oh, hell, I don't know. </div><div><br /></div><div>Maisie (and the audience) are given a bombshell when she (and we) learn that it was not her grandfather who created her, but rather Charlotte herself. In a video Maisie watches from 2007, she sees that Charlotte is pregnant with her. Okay, it seems very narcissitic to have a baby who is an exact replica of yourself (not to mention, super boring and very weird...who wants a carbon copy of themselves?) But Charlotte is touted as some super intelligent scientist who's the first person to ever do this (well, duh) and people act like she's the most brilliant being to walk this earth. I swear they said she died of the genetic disease she had, which is why she changed every cell in Maisie's body so she wouldn't have it. (God, that must have been a bitch to change every single cell in a human body!) </div><div><br /></div><div>Henry tells Maisie that he wants to study her and Baby Blue's DNA; that he could "fix a terrible mistake he's made" (meaning the locust). While Henry is chatting with Dodgson (who is not happy that Henry was showing Maisie videos of Charlotte), Maisie gets up and lets Baby Blue out of her cage. How was she able to do that? Because Henry just left his security bracelet lying on a table in plain sight. Great job, Henry. Unless he did that on purpose because he wanted her to release the baby dino! Dodgson sees them escaping and sounds the alarm. This causes the locusts to go crazy and fly all over the place just as Ellie has extracted the DNA. She and Alan are trying to get out, but their security bracelet has fallen. Maisie has sauntered over to the area where they're in and hears them screaming. They manage to get out and Maisie sees them and knows who they are and that they can be trusted because they do not work for Biosyn. While they're all trying to escape, Ramsay finds them. Remember, I already told you that he's on their side and wanted them to get the DNA sample. He's the one who told Ian about Hexagon Allies. He also tells them something we already know: that Biosyn's responsible for the locust epidemic. I thought for sure he was lying and was only trying to pretend he was on their side and we were going to find out he was with Dodgson all along, but nope, he's actually a good guy and does help them along the way. That's why I already told you he was on their side earlier. He tells them to get on a pod that will take them straight to an airfield where there will be a plane ready to fly. </div><div><br /></div><div>Okay, let's get back to our other characters and see what's going on with them. Are they all still alive? Of course they are! For now...(no, just kidding...they'll remain alive through the entire movie. None of our heroes will die in this movie). </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://media.wired.com/photos/62a2613b9117ee78ad19a57a/master/pass/Jurassic-World-Dominion-Gave-Dinosaurs-Feathers-Culture-2512_TFP_02013A.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="113" src="https://media.wired.com/photos/62a2613b9117ee78ad19a57a/master/pass/Jurassic-World-Dominion-Gave-Dinosaurs-Feathers-Culture-2512_TFP_02013A.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Claire is still strapped in her airplane chair, dangling in a high tree. A big-ass dinosaurs that looks like a bird is right next to her. I had to look this up and it's a Therizinosaurus. It has these long talons and appear to be blind. Even though it's a herbivore (what? with those sharp talons?), even the herbivore dinosaurs are dangerous in this movie, so when Claire removes her seatbelt and falls to the ground, she crawls to the water and stays underwater for as long as she can so I guess the dino can't smell her? But if it's a herbivore, why would it want to eat her? I guess it would still want to kill her if it felt threatened in its territory. When she was underwater, I was hoping there weren't any other dinos or crocs living in that swamp! When she emerges from the water, she goes to a spot where she can see the smoke from the crashed plane. She doesn't know it yet, but Owen and Kayla have (somehow) survived. They hop out of a panel that's on top of the plane and start their trek across the frozen pond, being careful as the ice isn't exactly solid. They do start to run when they see some "weird chicken feather thing" (heh, that's what I wrote in my notes) coming after them. This is a pyroraptor. I know there's scientific proof that dinosaurs had feathers, but it just makes them look so silly! Why couldn't they have just explained they left the feather DNA out of the dinosaurs. So this guy comes after them and it jumps into the water, gliding under the ice and pops up in front of them where the ice has cracked. This is when Owen and Kayla start running. I'm super impressed she can run in her wedge boots on ice. Though I guess when a scary feathered dinosaur is chasing you... Owen falls into the water and the pyroraptor dives after him and this is a super fast swimming dinosaur, but yet Kayla manages to pull Owen out of the water in time. They are still laying on the ice when the dino pops out and he still can't get one of them when the humans are just laying there, vulnerable on the ice. Owen and Kayla get up on a bridge/platform and run towards a pulley/elevator system that they just manage to close as the pyroraptor is just about to get them. This is a clear call back to the first movie when Lex is in the kitchen cabinet and pulls the door shut on the veliceoprator. (And re-reading my <i>Fallen Kingdom</i>, Maisie gets away from the Indoraptor in a similar situation). </div><div><br /></div><div>In the elevator, Kayla mentions she has the tracker so they can find Claire and asks Owen, "You really love her, huh?" to which Owen replies, "Yeah." It gave me a chuckle when Kayla replies with, "I get it. I like redheads, too." This reminded me of when I first saw the previews for <i>Jurassic World </i>and just assumed the redhead was Jessica Chastain, not Bryce Dallas Howard. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.syfy.com/sites/syfy/files/2022/04/2512_tfp_02243a.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="399" data-original-width="800" height="100" src="https://www.syfy.com/sites/syfy/files/2022/04/2512_tfp_02243a.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>As they are in the forest (which looks more like a jungle), looking for the chair (do they really think Claire would still be in it?), we meet another new dinosaur. After they hide from a T-rex who comes across a dead deer, another big dino comes along. Owen thinks it's an Allosaurus, but Kayla tells him it's a Giganotasaurus, which, according to her, is the "largest known terrestrial carnivore." Thank God I'm not a paleontologist cuz I don't know how I would remember all these ridiculous names! (I also suspect I wouldn't enjoy the <i>Jurassic</i> movies if I were one!)</div><div><br /></div><div>It seems like with each<i> Jurassic </i>movie, they need to have a dinosaur that's bigger and badder than the T-rex, who was pretty prominent in the first two movies, but then after that, it sort of fades into the background. We had the Spinosaurus in <i>JP3</i>, then the manmade Indominus Rex and Indoraptor in the first two <i>Jurassic World</i> movies, and now the Giganotasaurus, which, I have to say, doesn't really make that much of an impact in the movie, which is a bit disappointing. It doesn't even kill anyone, good or bad. The T-Rex and Giga fight, for like, ten seconds, before the T-Rex goes away. One of the humans comments, "You put two apex predators in one valley, pretty soon there's only gonna be one." Foreshadowing, perhaps? Yes, yes it is. </div><div><br /></div><div>When Dodgson discovers that Grant and Saddler have take the locust DNA, he stops the pod and they find themselves in the middle of the old amber mines where they discover that many medium size carnivores called Dimetrodons reside. They run to an exit, but it's caged off and they need a passcode to get out. At this point, Malcolm is there, on the other side of the cage and doesn't seem to be fazed or worried. You see, Ramsay had shown Malcolm (who was fired by Dodgson who suspected him of letting his friends steal locust DNA..not exactly sure what his "job" there was) how to get the cave to where his friends are. You would think Ramsay would know about the passcode and perhaps have told Malcolm what the code is, but no, he did not. WTF? So why is Malcolm so calm while cracking jokes and randomly putting in any four digit code? (He tries Miles Davis's birthday). I have no idea. I guess he knows he's in a movie where none of the good guys will die. He doesn't know the code and there's only so much time that his two friends and a fourteen-year-old girl can hold off the hungry prehistoric carnivores. Luckily, Ramsay is seeing this on the video screen and he is able to access the code from where he is so he types the right one in just as Malcolm types in a random one and Malcolm thinks he got it which is kinda funny. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.denofgeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Bryce-Dallas-Howard-and-Dilophosaurus-in-Jurassic-World.png?resize=768%2C432" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="432" data-original-width="768" height="113" src="https://www.denofgeek.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Bryce-Dallas-Howard-and-Dilophosaurus-in-Jurassic-World.png?resize=768%2C432" width="200" /></a></div>Now we've met a bunch of new dinosaurs that we haven't seen before, but now it's time to get reacquainted with an old friend. This is a dinosaur that we haven't seen (correct me if I'm wrong here) since the first movie. In my notes, I called it the "Newman dinosaur" because I couldn't remember its real name. This is the dinosaur that kills Newman (Nedry, if you never watched <i>Seinfeld</i>), you know the one that has the neck frill and shoots poison at him. It's called a dilophosorous (apparently its real-life counterpart did not have a neck frill, nor shoot poison) and while a hologram of one is seen in <i>Jurassic World</i>, I'm pretty sure we haven't seen one since the very first movie. Claire comes upon about three of them in a separate facility that's built in the trees and you need to take an elevator to get to. While she is waiting for the elevator, she hears a rustle and soon about three dilophosourouses (I know I totally butchered that spelling!) are surrounding her. One even comes inches from her face and shows its frill. She's literally seconds from having poison spat on her, but out of nowhere, we see a hand grab it around its neck and its Owen, come to the rescue, saving someone from being attacked by a dinosaur for the second time in the film. Kayla tasers it and it and its friends whimper away. </div><div><br /></div><div>Maisie and the adults are driving in a Jeep when they see that all the locust have escaped the facility and they have been lit on fire. They realize that Dodgson is burning the evidence. Yeah, he's not doing a very good job, because those massive things don't appear to disintegrate; they just fall to the ground with a thud. The locust starts falling on the Jeep, making them tumble down the hill and, of course, they land right in front of Owen, Claire, and Kayla, so Maisie is reunited with her "parents." But uh-oh, here comes the Giga. We do get a funny moment where both Grant and Owen say, "Don't move." (I thought that was only for the T-rex and I thought that theory got debunked!) Of course, they do move and they start climbing a ladder to the facility up high. There's a steel scaffold between the ladder and as Maisie is climbing the ladder, the Giga puts his jaws right over that scaffolding so she's literally between his jaws. She freezes at first, but Kayla, who is already at the top, encourages her that she can do it and while the Giga rips away the scaffolding, Maisie scurries up the rest of the way. </div><div><br /></div><div>So now everyone -except Malcolm- is in the treetop facility, but the Giga its still trying to get to them. I mean, he is tall enough to see them! So in a callback to the first movie, Malcolm uses a stick and one of the fiery (dead) locust as a torch to distract the dino. He throws the torch into the Giga's mouth, and after he's shot with a tranquilizer and tasered in the eye by the people in the treetop, he goes away. </div><div><br /></div><div>At this point, the alarms have been sounded and all the dinosaurs are en route to the emergency containment because they have been "signaled" to go there. </div><div><br /></div><div>Kayla tells the others there's a helicopter on the main complex. All they need to do is turn the ADS back and and they can fly home. They just need to go to the control room on the third floor, which they do, and Claire recognizes the system as the same one they used at the theme park. </div><div> </div><div>We get a small scene of Malcolm asking Owen about training raptors and he seems pretty skeptical about it, much like everybody else, I'm sure. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.syfy.com/sites/syfy/files/styles/scale--1200/public/2022/06/2512_d075_00653r_crop.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="449" data-original-width="800" height="112" src="https://www.syfy.com/sites/syfy/files/styles/scale--1200/public/2022/06/2512_d075_00653r_crop.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>As if we didn't already have enough characters with Owen, Claire, Grant, Ellie, Malcolm, Maisie, and Kayla, here comes Ramsay (and in a few more minutes, Henry will join them) who hears Claire say that she's getting something called "Error 99" and he tells her that means there's not enough power and they need to shut down the primary system, which Claire and Ellie go to do. While they're doing that, Kayla goes to get the helicopter and Maisie tells Owen she knows where Baby Blue is so they and Grant go get her. I'm not exactly sure how Maisie knew where Baby Blue was since the little dinosaur could be anywhere, but they find her and Owen shoots her with a tranq, then straps her to his back so it looks like he's wearing a dinosaur backpack. Before this all happens, the original<i> JP</i> characters (rightfully) are skeptical about this and Owen tells then he made a promise he would bring her home and Ian says the exact thing the audience is thinking, "You made a promise to a dinosaur?" I guess even the script knows this is ridiculous. </div><div><br /></div><div>In a predictable play, Dodgson is on a pod, getting ready to escape, when it stops after Claire and Ellie have turned off he power and he gets attacked and killed by a pack of dilophosorouses. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://static01.nyt.com/images/2022/06/09/multimedia/09jurassic1/09jurassic1-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="600" height="133" src="https://static01.nyt.com/images/2022/06/09/multimedia/09jurassic1/09jurassic1-articleLarge.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale" width="200" /></a></div>All our heroes are about ready to get on the chopper ("Get on the chopper!"), but here comes Henry. Seriously, there are way too many characters in this movie! Grant sees him and says, "I remember you" and at first, I'm like, How does he remember this man he met once (I believe they only have one scene together) nearly thirty years ago? But then, the more I thought about it, it does make sense that Grant would remember details about that day. You don't forget a day like that! Henry tells them he can fix the "ecological disaster" he caused and if he can understand how Charlotte rewrote Maisie's DNA, he can spread change from one locust to the entire swarm before it's too late. Maisie agrees to this because it's what Charlotte would have wanted. And that's exactly what happens. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://dapsmagic.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Jurassic-World-Dominion-IMAX-Poster-1-1.jpeg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="400" data-original-width="800" height="100" src="https://dapsmagic.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Jurassic-World-Dominion-IMAX-Poster-1-1.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div>But first, we need to have one last dino fight between the Giga and the T-Rex! We do get an amusing one-second moment where the T-Rex is clomping along and stops in front of a large circular window so we're getting the<i> Jurassic Park</i> logo for a couple of seconds. The dinos start fighting and it looks like the Giga has gotten the T-Rex as she is knocked down. Kayla shoots the flare to distract the Giga away, but it causes the attention of the Therizinosaurous (or, as I wrote, the "weird chicken dino"). Surprise! The T-rex isn't really dead (we know this because we get a close up of her dilated eye, another callback to the first movie) and she gets up, attacking the Giga and pushes it right into the sharp talons of the ugly chicken dino. </div><div><br /></div><div>When they get safely back, Alan and Ellie kiss and now they are officially together. They've been trying to make them a thing for the entire movie, but honestly, I don't really care. Like I said, I totally forget they were even a couple in the first movie. </div><div><br /></div><div>We find out that Wu has fixed the locust problem and that Biosyn Valley has been "designated a global sanctuary" where the dinosaurs will "live safe from outside world." I hope they have border patrol! </div><div><br /></div><div>We do get a cute moment when Owen lets Baby Blue out of her cage and moments later, Blue comes running up and they go scurrying off together, then Blue comes back and give a slight nod to Owen, as though she's thanking him for bringing back her baby and for keeping his promise. It's so ridiculous that it makes me laugh and cry at the same time, just like that scene in <a href="https://cinematicsara.blogspot.com/search?q=the+goonies">The Goonies</a> when Chunk tells Sloth he's going to live with him now. </div><div><br /></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://64.media.tumblr.com/73c5f6de22ccceece894901d0241a2f0/1d3cc69bfe454437-7a/s640x960/45bfcce87fa1d90ebbe0e9110e6b4c7c5b8e1575.gif" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="288" data-original-width="550" height="167" src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/73c5f6de22ccceece894901d0241a2f0/1d3cc69bfe454437-7a/s640x960/45bfcce87fa1d90ebbe0e9110e6b4c7c5b8e1575.gif" width="320" /></a></div>While this movie had its fun and exciting moments, I was mostly disappointed with this final (for now) <br />movie in the<i> Jurassic</i> franchise. There are dinosaurs out in the world living with the rest of the world and while we get a very small portion of that, it's mostly about...locust? What the huh? And it seemed very convenient only bad guys were killed by the dinosaurs. I don't know what the total death count is, but it seems very small. </div>Sara919http://www.blogger.com/profile/17340328824250492224noreply@blogger.com0