Director: P.J. Hogan
Cast: Julia Roberts, Cameron Diaz, Dermot Mulroney, Rupert Everett, Rachel Griffiths, Carrie Preston
Released: June 20, 1997
Best Musical or Comedy Score - James Newton Howard (lost to Anne Dudley for The Full Monty)
I saw this movie when it came out in the theater and saw it on video a couple times, but it had been a really long time since I'd seen it, so I had forgotten a lot of things (although I did remember who ended up getting married at the titular wedding). I also forgot how everyone sucks except for Rupert Everett's character. His name is George and he is Jule's (Julia Roberts) editor and (at the time) closest friend. He is also gay. They seem to remind us of this every half hour in case we forgot. Jules has an editor because she is working on a book. She is a twenty-seven-year-old food critic who apparently sends fear into every chef. The very first scene we see her, she's at a restaurant with everyone in the kitchen looking on in anticipation as she tastes the dish and gives her critique right there to the waiter and tells him, "I'm writing it up as inventive and confident." First of all, pretty sure you have to be much older than 27 to be considered an established food critic. Second of all, why is she giving her critique to the waiter? Third of all, why is she telling anyone her review at all? I assume she writes it for the paper and that's when everybody reads it. There is absolutely no reason for her to be a food critic; it doesn't even come up again in the film. (You'd think they'd want her input for the food at the wedding!) They just do it to give her a glamorous job that won't interfere with the plot of the movie. Speaking of which, we will get into when she gets a phone call from her best friend, Michael (Dermot Mulroney) who writes for Sport magazine. They've only been best friends for a few years and I'm scratching my head as to why they're best friends because she and George seem to have more of a connection than she does with Michael. We find out about Michael through exposition when Jules tells George about him. She met him when they were sophomores at Brown and were hot and heavy for a month when they dated, then she broke up with him because she got "restless". Apparently Michael told her, "The thing that makes me want to cry is I'm losing the best friend I ever had" and she felt the same. Uh, what? They've only known each other for a month and they're calling each other their best friend? Give me a break, we know it wasn't her "friendship" he was going to miss if you know what I mean and I think you do! The closest thing we get to them being best friends is when Jules tells George that they've been there for each other though losing jobs, losing parents, losing loved ones (they're only 28 years old...they're not old at all...how many peoples are dropping dead in their lives? Good lord!), traveling together (that's a little weird...). They made a pact six years ago that if they're 28 and haven't married yet, they will marry each other. Well, guess who's turning 28 in 3 weeks? This is the stupidest thing ever. Why 28? Why not just round it up to 30? And even that is still pretty young. Obviously if they wanted to get married, they would have gotten married instead of leaving it up to some stupid pact. Michael has called her and left her a message to call back so she thinks it's about that and is extremely nervous to call him back. I should mention that there are many scenes when Jules is calling people in public with her big-ass '90s cell phone and I am so, so, so embarrassed for her.
|Yes, she uses that thing
Not only is Michael getting married, but he's getting married on Sunday, which is four days from now (!!!) He calls it "one of those four day weddings with all the traditional events." What the hell? I have never heard of a "four day wedding." I've heard of "Four Weddings and a Funeral"; but never a "four day wedding." This must be some billionaire thing. Of course he wants Jules to fly out to Chicago to attend the wedding. She's pretending to be all happy for him, but of course she's not because she's jealous.The next day when George drives her to the airport to fly to Chicago (did I mention she lives in New York?), she tells George she has four days to break up a wedding and steal the groom and she doesn't have any idea how to do it. She gets all freaked out and hysterical as she exclaims, "He adored me for nine years! Me!" We get why George is the best character in the movie when he tells her, "I can see why" in a deadpan voice.
It's a little weird that an almost thirty-year-old is marrying a twenty-year-old who is a junior at the University of Chicago. I get that her being a college student plays an important role in the story, but there's something creepy about a thirty-year-old being engaged to someone who wasn't a teen not that long ago. Of course, I doubt anybody would mistake Kimmy for being twenty. For one thing, Cameron Diaz was 26 when she filmed this. For another, her character has the hairstyle and wardrobe of a forty-year-old suburban soccer mom. Sure, a well-to-do suburban soccer mom, but, sheesh, they sure make her look much older than she actually is
Jules reconnects with Michael at the airport and also meets Kimmy for the first time. I know we are supposed to be rooting for Kimmy because Jules is the villain for trying to break up our happy couple, but good God, I found Kimmy to be absolutely irritating. I guess in a nicer way, you could call her personality, "bubbly". She's all excited and giddy (WHY?) and jumping around when she meets Jules, telling her, "I've never had a sister". Uh, what? She does know Jules isn't Michael's sister so she's not gaining a sister-in-law, right?
While they're driving, Kimmy asks Jules if she'll be her Maid of Honor because her best friend, the previous MOH, broke her pelvis. Jules is pretty much pressured into it and accepts. Personally, I would never take the job. I would feel very self conscious about being the freakin' Maid of Honor for some billionaire's daughter I've never met before. They show Kimmy zipping her convertible in and out of traffic and driving like a maniac and just bering oblivious to, you know, safety. I guess it's supposed to be funny? Oh she could easily kill them all or someone else, oh yeah, haha, that's really funny. I really thought her atrocious driving was going to come back when she and Michael get into a big fight (spoiler alert!) and she leaves in her car. I thought she was going to get into an accident. Not a big one to kill herself or anyone else (it's not that type of movie), but a serious enough one. But no...she's just a terrible drive for comedy's sake, I guess. It makes no sense why they make her a careless driver. I personally think it doesn't help her case for being someone we should root for.
We will get a scene of Kimmy admitting to Jules that she feels inferior to her because she is "the perfect creature that [Michael] loved for all those years" and that she loves Michael, despite his flaws. Look, no offense to Dermot Mulroney (the poor man's Dylan McDermott?), but he really doesn't have the charisma to make me believe these two women would really be that gaga over him. Plus, his character kinda sucks. But, like I said everyone, except George, sucks.
When Jules tells Michael he's going to find "that kind of perfection boring day after day, year after year", he tells her Kimmy has a "few good traits"(yeah like being the daughter of a billionaire is a big one, I bet!) and gives the example that when he hugs her in public, he doesn't have to let go right away; she lets him hold her as long as he wants. Cue my eyeroll right here. Apparently Jules isn't big on PDA. She tells Michael, "I've changed. I'm not the girl I once was."
With the information about Kimmy not continuing college, Jules tells Michael she's surprised that Kimmy hasn't talked to her dad about offering a job to Michael so he's not traveling all the time. If I were him, I would tell her to mind her own business. She later tells Kimmy that Michael would rather "run a piece of the PR at a powerful complex conglomerate like your father's." If I were Kimmy, I would ask Michael about this and tell him it was Jules who told me this. But of course that doesn't happen. Instead, Jules comes up with a plan. She makes it seem like it was all Kimmy's idea, but of course it was Jules. When the three of them are out to dinner, Kimmy tells Michal her father needs a favor. He needs him to help out with public relations for six month because her dad is "reorganizing some of the divisions of the company." I'm not really sure what her dad does, but that's beside the point. Nothing in this movie makes sense. Michael is not happy with this arrangement which makes Kimmy angry because she thought that's what he wanted (since Jules told her) and tells him, "I'm supposed to drop out of school? Forget my family, forget my career, forget about all the things I had planned for my life?" Michael retorts back that even though his job is low paying and gives him no respect, he happens to love it (why?). Well, no wonder poor Kimmy is so confused. During her talk with Jules earlier, Jules had assured Kimmy that he despised his job and would be more than willing to help out his future father-in-law. Kimmy gets upset and starts to cry when Michael accuses her of thinking he's not good enough for her. They've now both ignored Jules who is just sitting back, pretending to look concerned, but is trying to keep a big grin off of her face. However, her fake concern is replaced by real concern when Michael and Kimmy quickly forgive each other (after Kimmy begs him to forgive her even though she did nothing wrong). That's the quickest fight I've ever seen! Once again, her plan has backfired.
There's an ongoing theme of Jules calling George whenever she needs his help or advice and she does it
During a scene where Michael is getting fitted for his tuxedo, he gives Jules the ring to "guard with her life." Why Jules has to be there for his fitting and why he gives Jules, of all people, the ring (instead of his best man or a family member) is really irrelevant. It's just all part of the plot. It's at this moment, when someone is measuring Michael and when they're in a store with other people (including George, who is also there for plot's sake) roaming around that Jules decides she's going to tell Michael her feelings for him. She never does because she gets distracted when Michael sees George and asks her who he is (he knows he's with Jules). She tells him that he's her "best friend these days", then does something totally insane and tells him they're engaged. To make him jealous, I guess? The audience find out that Jules decided to make George her fiancé the same time as George himself. She just announce it in front of him and makes a facial expression at him, pleading him to go along with her. Michael thinks it's quite peculiar that they're engaged because whenever Jules spoke about him, he sensed that George was gay (I guess she never outright told him he was gay?) Jules tells him that "George likes to pretend he's gay" which is the weirdest (and pretty offensive) thing. Michal asks George the very reasonable question, "Why would you do that?" and George tells him he finds that it attracts women, and it especially worked for for Jules. This is very baffling and makes no sense, but Michael seems satisfied with the answer because it's what the plot of the movie needs him to do. However, you would think that if Jules is his best friend, he would know about this weird fetish of hers. Just saying!
Jules bring George to the church where they're having the rehearsal and he meets a super excited and screeching Kimmy and her family (well, only Kimmy is super excited and screeching; her family is more composed.) I had to laugh when she asks George why they weren't told about the engagement and George, who is having way too much fun with this charade, says, "I wanted to shout it from the rooftops, but Jules said, 'No, this is Kimmi's day, let's not take the attention away from Kimmy.'" This makes Kimmy even more happy and she hugs Jules even more tighter.
Does Jules accept that Michael is getting married to Kimmy and that she must move on with her life? Oh, no, she still thinks there is time to sabotage the wedding and make Michael come back running to her. The day before the wedding she goes to Kimmy's father's company, Wallace Companies. Her goal is to sneak onto his computer when he's out to lunch and compose an e-mail to Michael's boss. This whole scene is bananas beserk. Not just because of the fraud she's about to commit, but apparently the people who worked on this movie had no idea how e-mail worked. In the late '90s. I'm sorry, what? By 1997, maybe not everybody used e-mail, but I would think SOMEBODY on the entire cast or crew of this movie would know how to use e-mail or how it worked or at least knew somebody who did. This is what I'm talking about: after she gets into his e-mail (which is an icon on his computer...okay...), she chooses "new letter" from the options and a screen pop ups where you can write your message. At the top, it says "E-mail address" and there's a "To" and "From" line. She physically types out, and I swear I am not joking, "Eric Isaacson, Senior Editor, Sport Magazine" in the "To" column and "Walter Wallace" in the "From" column. I'm sorry, but WHAT THE ACTUAL YOU-KNOW-WHAT?! Like I said before, nobody on this movie's crew had a freakin' teenager who had an AOL account with some stupid e-mail like SupaGirl83@aol.com? They couldn't confer with somebody who knew how e-mail worked? Could they not get permission from yahoo or hotmail or aol or whoever else you could get email through back then? Then just make up your own @whatever.com Also, if she's sending it from Wallace's computer, why does she have to physically type it's from him? I don't sign my name every time I send an e-mail; people already know it's from me because my name is already there! Good Lord, this scene is so stupid! There's no excuse for not knowing how e-mail worked in 1997! None! But wait, there's more! So Jules composes a message to Michael's boss (whose e-mail address probably would have been email@example.com if this movie took place in the real world) telling him, as Walter Wallace, that he's offered Michael "a great opportunity in my company" and that Michael won't accept the offer while he works for him. So I'm not sure if Jules wanted Michael's boss to fire him or give him his permission to quit?
After she's finished writing the message, she gets a popup box asking, "Do you want to send?" and gives her a yes or no option. In the end, she decides not to send it because she doesn't want Michael to get fired (would he really get fired for that? If anything, I would think his boss would want to talk to him about it). She gets a second option where she can choose either "save for later" or "delete". Again, not how e-mail works. She chooses the former and justifies it as "It's not like I'm sending it...I'm saving it for a few hours 'til we come back and Michael can see it." Alright, so her plan is for Michael to see the e-mail and probably assume this was Kimmy's idea and never want to see or talk to her again. Well, guess what. After Jules saves the letter and leaves, we see Walter tell his secretary that he's "holding four or five e-mails he wrote" and wants her to send them out. Huh? Wha-? So he writes e-mails and doesn't send them out after they're composed? He just saves them and has his secretary click a button to send them out? But why? Oh, right, for the sake of the movie's plot.
Before Jules can even continue on with her diabolical plan, while they're at her hotel, Michael receives a fax from his boss. Gee, whatever could this be about? Jules just assumes he's telling Michael congratulations because it's the night before the wedding, but instead the note says, "I think you need to know and deserve what you're marrying into." This seems...odd to me. Why didn't his boss just ask him about this supposed job opportunity his future father-in-law offered him. Look, what Jules did was wrong but it's not like she (as Wallace) threatened Michael's boss. While Michel calls Kimmy (because of course he thinks she was up to this) and blows up at her, Jules sits outside the door of her room and we see a cameo from a young Paul Giamatti who plays a bellhop. She's smoking and he tells her it's a nonsmoking floor. She tells him, "I am a dangerous, criminal person. I do bad things to honest people." I don't know, I wouldn't call her "dangerous"; more like "selfish" and "mean-spirited".
When Michael gets off the phone with Kimmy, he tells Jules that she told Michael it's over because he's "crazy and paranoid". Oh, there was a scene earlier where Jules tried on the wedding ring (I guess the temptation was too much for her) and of course now it won't come off. Michael fixes this by putting her finger in his mouth and sucking it off. I'm pretty sure there's probably a less erotic way to get a stuck ring off a finger. Again, he's sending mixed signals to Jules.
Because this whole fight took place the day before the wedding, the Sunday wedding brunch is still on because Kimmy hasn't told her parents that the wedding is cancelled (Probably because they would throw a fit if they went through all that prep work and money even if they are billionaires). No, the real reason is that Kimmy is still hoping for a miracle. As she tells Jules (because Michael wanted her to talk to Kimmy), "How could he think that my father and I would do such a thing?" We get another well-known scene where Jules compares Kimmy to creme brûlée and tells her that Michael would rather have Jell-O. I love Kimmy's aghast, "Jell-O? Why would he want Jell-O?" Because, yes why would anyone want Jell-O unless you're younger than six and older than eighty. I did love Jule's face when Kimmy says this, because of course, she is Jell-O in this analogy and is annoyed that Kimmy is looking down at Jell-O. She tells Kimmy that Michael is more comfortable with Jell-O. Kimmy says she could be Jell-O and Jules replies, "Creme brûlée could never be Jell-O...you could never be Jell-O."
Kimmy tells Jules she still loves Michael and while there is truth to her wanting him to work for her father and that she wants to stay in school and have a life of her own, she would never make him do anything he didn't want to do. She asks Jules to tell Michael it's her fault and that she loves him, because she, Jules, "is the only person that I trust." Cut to Jules looking guilty. I find it a little (a lot) problematic that Kimmy wants Jules to tell Michael it's her fault...when its not! It's like when they got into the fight at the restaurant and she begged Michael to forgive her even though she did nothing wrong. I get the impression that he always has to be right and because of Kimmy's age (remember, she's only 20) it feels like she has to always be apologizing to him for her faults even though every time he gets angry with her, it's not her fault. If I were Kimmy, I would dump his ass!
So Jules has the gall to tell Michael, "She admits that it's her fault. Totally, completely, inexcusably her fault." True, that is what Kimmy said, but Jules knows the truth and she could fix this right now, but no, she is still trying to break up the wedding, which she seems to have already accomplished. However, Michael and Kimmy still seem to want to make it work. Michael asks Jules, "Do you think she still loves me?" It takes her a few moments to answer, but she tells him that Kimmy does still love him. Michael wants Jules to tell Kimmy that he still wants to marry her if she'll have him. Good God, tell her yourself, dude! So everything slowly seems to be getting mended until Jules and Michael have a chat by the gazebo and Jules decides to make this the moment when she's going to confess her feelings for him and tell him that she loves him. She tells him she knows this "comes at a very inopportune time" (yeah, no kidding!) and wants him to "Choose me..marry me." Hmm, is this where Meredith Grey got the inspiration for her "Pick me" speech to Derek? Jules kisses him and of course (OF COURSE!) Kimmy just happens to see them. She runs off, Michael runs after her, and Jules runs after him. Kimmy's mother sees them all running and doesn't seem to be concerned that her daughter is running away in distress. They all get into cars (well, Jules steals a catering van) and continue to chase each other. I thought this was when Kimmy's terrible driving was going to come in play; that she was so upset that she has an accident, but no, nothing like that happens. Again, what was the point of making her an irresponsible driver? Oh, right, because it's so hilarious.
Once again, Jules calls George for his advice because she can't do anything on her own. This time he's listening to a book reading at a bookstore and when his phone rings, he takes the call when he's still sitting in the audience Dude, if you're going to answer the phone, at least get up and go to a private area. Jules is screaming so loud that everyone in the bookstore can hear her and their attention goes from the author (I assume the person reading the book was the author) to George who then gets up and goes to another part of the store. After Jules gets him up to speed and tells him she and Michael kissed, George asks her, "Was there anything on the other side of that kiss that leads you to believe that this chase will end happily?" After Jules tells him Kimmy interrupted them and what was going on at the moment, he's very blunt but truthful when he says, "Michael's chasing Kimmy and you're chasing Michael? Who's chasing you? Nobody. Get it?There's your answer." Honestly, it's like George is the Voice of Reason in this movie. Why is he friends with Jules? She is a terrible person. Before hanging up, George tells her, "The wedding is at six. You have a small, but distinct window of opportunity to do the right thing."
Jules, for once, does decide to do the right thing. She catches up to Michael at the train station who went there because that's where he proposed to Kimmy, so he thought he might find her there. Jules confesses that the e-mail his boss got was written by her. She tries to rectify it by saying it wasn't supposed to get sent; that she just wanted him to see it and get mad at Kimmy. Either way she spins it, it's not good. She feels terrible about everything and compares herself to "the fungus that feeds on pond scum." Michael tells her she's even lower than that, but then takes her hand and says, "On the other hand, thank you for loving me that much" and tells her he thinks what she did is pretty flattering. Oh my God! Why does he keep sending her mixed signals? Also, why is he forgiving her so soon? If I were him, I would not invite her to the wedding, I would tell her it would be a long time before I would even consider forgiving her. The woman tried to sabotage his wedding, but for some reason, he takes it as a compliment? Huh? Honestly, I'm surprised the movie didn't have them end up together because they really deserve each other and Kimmy could have done a lot better.
Jules assures Michael they will find Kimmy before the wedding. I forget how, but somehow she gets a tip
|Not loving Kimmy's dress
The last scene is the wedding. It's a nice wedding, but honestly, for billionaires, you think it would be beyond lavish and extravagant. And also, I don't like Kimmy's wedding dress. It looks cheap to me. Despite everything she's done, Jules still gets to make a speech: "I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that a psychopath was trying to break the two of you up." Kimmy and Michael just smile like it's so adorable...um, no. Her speech continues: "Luckily, I woke up and I see that the world is just as it should be. For my best friend has won the best woman." Good God, she's still treating this like it's a competition? Jule's wedding present for the newly weds is to have her the two other bridesmaids (Rachel Griffiths and Carrie Present), sing "The Way You Look Tonight". I guess it's "on loan" until Kimmy and Michael find their own song (they didn't have a song already planned for their first dance?). This feels like a cheap shot from Jules, I must say. It's like she's gotta remind Michael that he had a song from her before he had one with Kimmy.
Once the wedding is over and Kimmy and Michael are leaving, Jules is trying to say goodbye in the large
And Kimmy and Michale break up less than a year later. They don't say that, but, I honestly can't see those two lasting!