Wednesday, November 5, 2025

Strength and Honor

Gladiator
Director: Ridley Scott
Cast: Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Connie Nielsen, Oliver Reed, Dijimon Hounsou, Richard Harris, Derek Jacobi, Spencer Treat Clark
Released: May 5, 2000

Oscar nominations

Best Picture (won)
Best Director - Ridley Scott (lost to Steven Soderbergh for Traffic)
Best Actor - Russell Crowe (won)
Best Supporting Actor - Joaquin Phoenix (lost to Benicio Del Toro for Traffic)
Best Original Screenplay - David Franzoni, Josh Logan, and William Nicholson (lost to Cameron Crowe for Almost Famous)
Best Art Direction -Set Decoration (lost to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon)
Best Cinematography (lost to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon)
Best Costume Design (won)
Best Visual Effects (won)
Best Editing (lost to Traffic)
Best Original Score - Hans Zimmer (lost to Dun Tan for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon)
Best Sound (won)


Oh, man, this movie has so many great quotes:

"Are you not entertained? Are. You. Not. Entertained?"

---------------------------------- 

"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the armies of the North. General of the Felix Legions. Loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next." 

---------------------------------------------- 

"What would you have me do, Ceasar?"

"I want you to become the Protector of Rome after I die. I will empower you to one end alone. To give power BACK to the people of Rome and end the corruption that has crippled it. Will you accept this great honor that I have offered?"

"With all my heart, no."

"Maximus! That is why it MUST be YOU!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You won your freedom?"

"A long time ago, the Emperor presented me with a rudius. It's just a wooden sword. The symbol of your freedom. He touched me on the shoulder, and I was free."

"Ha, ha, ha. You knew Marcus Aurelius?"

"I did not say I knew him! I said he touched me on the shoulder once!"  

---------------------------------------------

"I knew a man once who said, 'Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back.'"

----------------------------------------------------------- 

"Today I saw a slave become more powerful than the Emperor of Rome." 

--------------------------------------------------- 

 "The General who became a slave. The slave who became a gladiator. The gladiator who defied an emperor. Striking Story! But now, the people want to know how the story ends. Only a famous death will do. And what could be more glorious than to challenge the Emperor himself in the great arena?

"You would fight me?"

 "Why not? Do you think I am afraid?"

"I think you've been afraid all your life." 

-------------------------------------------------------------- 

"Now we are free. I will see you again...but not yet...not yet!"

This was only the third time I've seen this movie and it had been quite a long time since I last saw it, but I could still quote many lines from the movie. This is because I owned Gladiator: More Music from the Motion Picture (as well as the original soundtrack!) and there are lines of dialogue over some of the score. I have listened to the soundtrack so many times that I could hum every note of pretty much each scored scene. 

The film opens with a quick history lesson, telling the audience that the Roman Empire "was vast, stretching from the deserts of Africa to the borders of Northern England" and that "over one quarter of the world's population lived and died under the rule of the Caesars." It is 180 AD (so a looooong time ago) and Marcus Aurelius (Richard Harris) is the Emperor. 

Maximus (Russell Crowe) is a general who has just lead the Roman army to victory in a battle. When Marcus Aurelius asks how he can award him, Maximus just wants to go home to see his wife and young son who he hasn't seen in almost three years. But Marcus Aurelius has other plans for him and tells him, "There is one more duty I ask of you before you go home...I want you to become the protector of Rome after I die." He wants him to "give power back to the people of Rome" and "end the corruption that has crippled it." Maximus thinks this should go to somebody who understands Rome's politics and Marcus Aurelius wants it to be Maximus because he "has not been corrupted by politics." When he asks about Marcus Aurelius's own son, Commodus (Joaquin Phoenix), he is told, "Commodus is not a moral man." Marcus Aurelius is adamant that he "must not rule." (Ruh-roh, we all know that this is not going to end well!) He tells Maximus, "You are the son I should have had." Ouch! Good thing Commodus didn't hear that! He also adds that Commodus will accept his decision because "he knows that [Maximus] commands the loyalty of the army." 

Well, guess who isn't too happy when he is told he will not be the emperor? I'll give you zero guesses because you should know this. Maximus is "to hold in trust until the Senate is ready to rule" and that "Rome is to be a Republic again." Because Commodus doesn't take too kindly to this news, he ends up killing his father by suffocating him. Surprise! Guess who's now the new Emperor? Again, I'll give you zero guesses. When Commodus informs Maximus that his father is dead, Maximus asks how he died and Commodus tells him he died in his sleep. Uh-huh. I guess back then, they didn't really have the means to conduct autopsies. Plus, nobody was listening to true crime podcasts so nobody was quick to question this "sudden death" or be suspicious about it. Though, to be fair to Commodus, his father was a frail, old man, so him dying in his sleep probably wouldn't be that far-fetched. However, to also be fair to Maximus, he was way ahead of his time because he wants to talk to the council because he believes Marcus Aurelius was slain! Maximus knows what's up! Quintus, a Roman military officer and commander of the Praetorian guard, tells him, "The Emperor died of natural causes." It's clear who's side he's on (and, yes, I had to look up his info on the Gladiator movie Wikipedia page)!  

Because Maximus won't allege his loyalty to the new Emperor, the guards have been ordered to take him and "ride until dawn, then execute him." Why they need to ride until dawn, I'm not sure, but I suppose if they had just killed him on the spot, the movie would have been only forty minutes instead of two hours and thirty-five minutes.

When he asks for his family to be taken care of, he is told that they will meet him in the afterlife. Maximus is able to thwart his executioners and kill most of the guards before grabbing a horse and galloping off to make the long journey to his home. Maximus is referred as "the Spaniard" throughout the movie, so I'm guessing his home is in Spain? (Did Spain exist way back then? I mean, was it called that? I dunno.) Unfortunately, he is too late and his wife and son have already been brutally killed. He is so overcome by exhaustion and grief that he collapses and the next thing he knows, he is being carried on a stretcher-like thing (I'm sure that's not what they called it in 180 AD!) through the desert along with many men and animals. He has been found by slave traders and he is taken and sold in Zuccabar to a a gladiator trainer named Proximo (Oliver Reed). He needs "good stock" for his next fight and likes the looks of Maximus and a slave named Juba (Dijmon Hounsou) who will become Maximus's closest confidant. Proximo tells his gladiators in training, "I did not pay good money for you for your company. I paid it so that I could profit from your death." I would have thought they make money if their gladiator wins? 

Before their first fight, Coach Proximo gives them a "pep" talk: "Some of you are thinking, you won't fight. Some that you can't fight. They'll say that, until they're out there." He tells them to listen to the crowd chanting, "Kill, kill, kill." We'll soon learn this is the crowd's favorite word to chant during these fights. 

The whole concept of pitting men (and sometimes women as we'll see later) to fight against each other to the death is all kinds of messed up. I know we sometimes use the phrase, "That was a different time", but in this case, it really was a different time. It was a totally different era! 

The music right before they go into the arena is EPIC! Too bad they didn't have speakers in the Colosseum, or they could pump it through the arena and get the audience all pumped. Right before they run out, we see a big beefy guy clad in armor and waving around a chain with a spiked ball attached to it. Two seconds later a guy is bludgeoned with it. I was like, oh, okay, that's how we're gonna start things. Let's just say, this movie earned it's R rating!

This fight seems highly unfair as the big beefy guys are protected by armor and the slaves are only wearing rags. The slaves are partnered with someone and chained together, with maybe about two feet of leeway (I dunno, I could be totally wrong there). Maximus and Juba are partners and they work very well together; if these two were born in our time, they would have been great on The Amazing Race together! They run towards a big beefy guy, attaching him with the chain which they trip him with. We get the epic 360 camera shot of them as they look up and around the arena of the cheering audience. 

Between the first battle and the next one, we see the Emperor arriving in a very CGI Ancient Rome (complete with a fully built Colosseum!). Commodus tells his sister, Lucilla (Connie Nielsen), "I'll give the people a vision of Rome and they'll love me for it." 

Here are a few things you should know about, Lucilla: She has an eight-year-old son named Lucius Veras ("after his father"), she has been recently widowed, and Maximus if a former lover of hers. Oh, and Commodus has some icky incestuous feelings towards her which she definitely does not reciprocate. At one point, he wants her to "stay the night" with him, but she tells him she won't. He asks her to kiss him and she kisses him on the forehead, probably not what he had in mind! 

Now it's time for the second battle in the arena! Maximus is already a big hit with the crowd. As they're waiting for the fight, the crowd is yelling, "Spaniard! Spaniard!", which is what they call Maximus (before they learn his name). Maximus enters the arena and starts slicing and dicing some big beefy boys' metal shields and metal hats. He slices one guy at the waist and another guy in the chest, then sticks two swords in one guy's chest, then takes both of them out and decapitates him (keep in mind he's at least two feet taller than Maximus). If I were in that crowd, I definitely would be covering my eyes! Eugghghg! 

He throws one sword at the VIP tent (well, the equivalent of what it would be called today) and this is when we get the famous scene where he yells to his captivated audience, "Are you not entertained? Are. You. Not. Entertained? Is this not why you're here?" He throws down the other sword in disgust and the crowd just cheers and chants, "Spaniard! Spaniard!" They are very much entertained! 

Proximo sends for Maximum and tells him while he's good, he could "be magnificent." Maximus replies," I am required to kill, so I kill. That is good enough." Proximo tells him that is not enough for Rome (where they will be taking the show next) and that "the young emperor has arranged a series of spectacles to commemorate his father, Marcus Aurelius." He finds that amusing since it was Marcus Aurelius who closed them down. With a glint in his eye, he says they are "going back to the place where we belong", of course referring to the Colosseum. "Fifty thousand Romans watching every movement of your sword, willing you to make that killer blow." From the way he is talking, Maximus surmises that he was a gladiator and Proximo confirms it. Maximus asks if he won his freedom and Proximo tells him, "A long time ago, the Emperor presented me with a radius. It's just a wooden sword. The symbol of your freedom. He touched me on the shoulder and I was free." He gets haughty when Maximus starts laughing and asks him, "You knew Marcus Aurelius", to which he responds, "I did not say I knew him. I said he touched me on the shoulder once." 

Maximus says he also wants to stand in front of the Emperor as Proximo did and his mentor advises him, "Then listen to me. Learn from me." He says he wasn't the best because he "killed quickly", but because "the crowd loved me...win the crowd and you'll win your freedom." Maximus says, "I will win the crowd. I will give them something they've never seen before." 

Now it's time to take a roadtrip to Rome! Roam if you want to, indeed! Actually a journey from what I assume is probably modern day Morocco to Rome would SUCK. I can't ride a horse for more than two horses without my butt and legs getting sore. I can't imagine the horrendous trek that would be! I looked up the distance and it takes 32 hours to DRIVE that distance! With a modern car! Can you imagine if you had to walk it or go on horseback? I would be dead after the third hour! Luckily, we just get a ten second clip of them on their journey. 

When they reach the Colosseum, Maximus, Juba, and the others are looking at it in awe. Even though I know this particular Colosseum is CGI, it is pretty spectacular. The actual, real Colosseum in Rome today is quite impressive. How about some Colosseum fun facts? 

*It was built during 69-79 AD and completed in 80 AD. I have no idea how this is known, but there must be some record.

*It could hold 50,000 - 80,000 spectators, thus making it the largest standing amphitheater in the world.

*It was used for public events including executions, re-enactments of famous battles, dramas based on Roman mythology, and, of course, gladiatorial contests.

*It was ruined by earthquakes and stone robbers. The latter made me chuckle. 

*There were 80 entrances on ground level.

Okay, I think that's enough fun facts for now. There's a whole Wikipedia article you can read about it. Actually, I'm also sure there are more reputable sources about it! 

Before his first battle in the Colosseum, Lucilla's young son, Lucius (Spencer Treat Clark), is outside the gate where Maximus and the others are waiting and beckons him to come closer and asks if he's the one they call the Spaniard and Maximus confirms this. Lucius tells him he will be cheering for him and Maximus is surprised that this young boy is allowed to watch the games (so am I, Max, so am I!). Lucius tells him he's allowed to watched because "my uncle says it makes me strong." When asked about what his father thinks, Lucius tells him his father is dead. Are we sure about that? (Wink, wink.)

Before they enter the arena, they are given instructions to raise their weapons and salute the Emperor when he enters. They are NOT to turn their backs on him as it is a huge sign of disrespect. He tells them, "Go, and die with honor." 

A man named Cassius is the one who announces who will be fighting that day. He wears a wig with red curls and has these crazy eyebrows that slope up. He introduces Proximo's gladiator slaves as "the barbarian horde". In the arena, they are all facing forward as they were instructed, and Maximus, in the front, asks the group if anybody has ever served in the army and someone next to him says he served with him and Maximus tells him he can help: "Whatever comes out of these gates, we've got a better chance of survival if we work together...if we stay together we survive." Earlier when they were still in the...whatever the equivalent of locker rooms were called back then....., you could hear growling noises and was sure some wild cat would be coming through the gates. But no, that will be for another show! 

Several gates open around the Colosseum and a bunch of chariots being pulled by horses come rushing out. In each chariot are two people: one in front holding the reins and the other in back, wielding a weapon. In this case, there were many bows and arrows. I was quite shocked to see a woman (who gets a pretty nasty death when she's cut in half at the waist) in the arena, but I guess it happened. One particular guy in the crowd is getting a little into it and chanting, "Kill, kill, kill!" Like, settle down, dude! If he were living in this day and age he'd be the obnoxious guy at sporting events, standing up and yelling every three seconds. The woman is shooting arrows at her opponents and Maximus instructs everyone to stay close and they use their shield to protect themselves. 

At one point, I'm not sure exactly how it happened (because everything is moving so fast), they're able to tip one of the chariots over. This causes the other chariots to start crashing into each other and soon there's lots of carnage and many of the chariot riders are getting killed. Maximus gets on a horse that has escaped from one of the crashed chariots and uses a spear (which I believe he retrieved from one of the dead opposition) to throw at one of his enemies. There's a cool shot where he's coming around the arena and Juba shouts his name and throws a sword at Maximus which he catches and uses to cut any b*tch who gets in his way. 

Throughout this battle, we get some shots of Commodus who has some choice reactions. At one point he's sticking his tongue out and another time he's going "ooooh" in a sarcastic manner. 

There's lots of cheering from the crowd when everyone from the other side has died. I get the impression the crowd doesn't really care who wins/looses. They just want people to die and they'll cheer for the people who live (or, really, the people who killed off the other side). Commodus asks Cassius shouldn't have the barbarians lost this battle since that was the plan for them to die. He asks about the Spaniard and says he wants to meet him. Because Maximus is wearing an armored helmet that covers most of his face, Commodus has no idea who he is. 

The gladiators are told to drop their weapons, then Commodus comes out, flanked by a bunch of bodyguards. Maximus sees an arrow laying on the ground and discreetly picks it up, but then he sees that Lucius has ran up alongside Commodus and knows he can't do anything if a kid is there. (Though even if the kid wasn't there, would he really try anything with all those men with swords surrounding them, their duty being to protect Commodus?)

When Commodus asks him if he has a name, Maximus simply replies, "My name is Gladiator." The turns around and walks back toward the other men. This does not make Commodus happy: "How dare you show your back to me." He orders him to remove his helmet and tell him his name. With his back still turned toward him, Maximus removes his helmet, the turns to face him. This is when we get the "My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius" quote. When he finishes with "I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next", Commodus is speechless and his main guard quickly orders the other men to surround him. He shouts, "Arms!" and they pull out their weapons. People in the crowd chant "Live! Live Live!" This is literally the only time when they're not shouting "Kill! Kill! Kill!" I'm honestly shocked, usually the crowd is blood thirsty. Commodus puts his arm out with his hand in a fist and everyone is waiting to see if he's going to give the thumbs up (that means you get to live) or the thumbs down (that means you die). Lucky for Maximus, he's given the thumbs up. Hmmm, that makes me think of something. Gimme a sec....haha, okay, it's a good thing Roger Ebert wasn't around during the Roman Empire or else Maximus would have died! Because he gave it thumbs down! I mean the movie, you know what I mean. 

Everyone in the crowd is cheering and Maximus puts his arm up in triumph and he knows he has the crowd's adulation as he looks around the arena at all his cheering fans. Now that people know his name, it's being shouted as he leaves the arena. 

I need to do a quick fashion corner before I resume. There's a couple times where Lucilla wears a dress with a ribbon (for a lack of a better word) that is wrapped around her stomach, goes under her breasts, and is weaved around low on her hips and around her arms. It's just so odd. It also looks like an annoyance to put on/wear. I tried Googling this look, but couldn't find anything. Who knows how accurate it is. 

Commodus asks his sister why Maximus is still alive and she tells him she doesn't know. He says one of my favorite lines in the movie (but not as iconic as many other lines) which is, "It vexes me. I am terribly vexed." This is a quote I may have used once or twice in my real life. Commodus is also not very happy as he was told that Maximus had died when he was taken to Germania to be executed and this means he was lied to!

Lucilla goes to visit Maximus in the prison where he's being held when he's not entertaining crowds and tells him that Commodus controls everything. He has enemies, most of them are in the Senate. While people follow him, "no one would dare stand up to him until [Maximus came along]." She asks him if he will meet a man who has dedicated his life to Rome if she can arrange a meeting with him. Maximus reminds her he is only a slave and may die in their prison or in the arena tomorrow and what difference can he make. He basically tells her to get the hell out and forget about him. 

Now it's the second time in the Colosseum. That Cassius sure likes to blow a lot of smoke before the show starts because he's just keeps talking and talking and talking. He tells the audience that they are celebrating the 64th day of the games on this particular day. He adds, "The Emperor has deigned this day to favor the people of Rome with an historical final match." There is a special guest today! Returning to the Colosseum after fives years in retirement, "the only undefeated champion in Roman history, the legendary Tigris of Gual!" Some guy in a chariot led by four horses with red plumes comes charging out. Everyone cheers wildly so I guess they're familiar with him. This is just proof that the audience will cheer for anyone. They were going gaga over Maximus the last time they saw him and now they're cheering for this dude. 

Now you may have noticed that Cassius says "historical final match." In their equivalent of a VIP box, Commodus admits to his sister that Maximus will be gone soon because "it's been arranged." Ha! Joke's on you, Commie! 

This battle will be a one-on-one fight between Maximus and the undefeated guy who came out of retirement. Oh, did I mention he looks like he's built like The Mountain from Game of Thrones? He looks like he could squash Maximus like a bug. 

This may be a one-on-one battle between the two men, but they aren't the only ones out in the arena. After Tigris kicks sand in Maximus's face (someone likes to play dirty!), Maximus falls back and a wall right behind him opens to reveal a tiger, attached to a chain, run out and swipe at Maximus before he is able to roll away. There are men controlling the tigers with the chains and decide how much leeway they get. Another tiger comes from under the floor, then another jumps on Maximus's back, but the men controlling the wild animal are able to pull him back. Hmm, I wonder if they put tigers in the arena because Tigris was fighting that day. Like, that can't be a coincidence! 

A tiger leaps up on Maximus, but he's able to spear it in the belly with his sword. The tiger falls on top of him and while he's under the tiger's corpse, he's trying to shield himself from Tigris who's stabbing at him. From his position on the ground, Maximus is able to take Tigris's axe and stab him in the foot with it. This causes Tigris to fall on the ground and now that he does't have anyone trying to stab him anymore, Maximus is able to get up. The audience is (of course) chanting, "Kill, kill, kill!" Maximus takes his sword and removes the mask from Tigris's face with it. One guy in the crowd is particularly enthusiastic and shouts,"Yeah!" Commodus turns his thumb down, signifying for Maximus to kill his opponent. 

Maximus lifts the axe up, but instead of striking the (no longer undefeated) (ex) champion with it, he throws it to the side. Someone shouts, "Maximus the Merciful!" and now the crowd is chanting and cheering, "Maximus! Maximus!" It's like, pick a lane, audience, only a few seconds ago you were cheering for him to kill the other dude. 

Commodus is not too happy since he thought Maximus was supposed to die. He comes down to the arena with all his guards and says some pretty terrible and despicable things about Maximus's son's and wife's last moments before they died. He is just being a prick and egging him on him. Maximus simply tells him, 'The time for honoring yourself will soon come to an end." Later, Commodus will whine about how the crowd now loves Maximus for his mercy: "So I can't just kill him or it will make me look more unmerciful." Commodus is a whiny little bitch. 

Before the battle, we saw a man with a scar on his face in the crowd. This is Cicero who is a loyal servant to Maximus. While Maximus is walking through the crowd after the battle, Cicero is able to walk near him and tell him his legion still remain loyal to him and would be ready to fight tomorrow. Maximus tells him he needs to do something for him. A few moments later, we see Cicero get close to the carriage that Lucilla is in. It's one of those modes of transports without wheels and men are carrying it. When he mentions Maximus's name, she beckons him to come closer and he tells her that Maximus will meet with the politician she wanted him to talk to. 

When Maximus meets with Senator Gracchus (Derek Jacobi), he asks him if he can buy his freedom and smuggle him out of Rome. He wants to get out of the city walls with horses ready for him to take to Ostia where his army is. He will return by nightfall the second day with five thousand men. Lucilla informs him that the legions have new commanders who are loyal to Commodus, but he says when his men see him alive, their loyalties will lie with him. 

When Gracchus asks him why he will give the city of Rome back to the people, he tells him, "Because that was the last wish of a dying man." He says he will kill Commodus and leave the fate of Rome to Gracchus. 

Their plan doesn't quite work out because Commodus gets a whiff of what's going on (thanks to Lucius unknowingly spilling the beans) and has Gracchus arrested. Lucilla tells Maximus that they "must leave tonight" and that Cicero will be at the gate waiting with horses. 

Commodus doesn't like it when little Lucius is cos-playing, not only pretending that he a gladiator, but that he is Maximus, "the savior or Rome!" Commodus tells Lucius a story about "Mark Antony and his adventures in Egypt" that parallels what is going on right now and it's clear to Lucilla (who's nearby, listening) that Commodus knows that she and Maximus are up to something. He informs her that if she does't fess us, he will do something terrible to her son. She has no choice but to tell him everything, which is how they know where Maximus is meeting Cicero and are able to capture him. Both Cicero and Proximo end up dead trying to protect Maximus. 

Senator Falco (or someone...there's so many ancillary characters) tells Commodus that it's been done and Commodus asks him what should happen to his sister and nephew and should he "be merciful"?  He says that Lucius will stay with him now and "if his mother so much as looks at me in a manner that displeases me, he will die."
After he says this, the camera pans to show that Lucilla is sitting nearby. He adds that if she takes her own life, her son will also die. He tells Lucilla that she will love him, as he loved her. Eww. But wait, it gets worse! He says to her, "You will provide me with an heir of pure blood, so that Commodus and his progeny will rule for 1000 years." That fact that he refers to himself in the third person is almsot as bad that he wants his sister to have babies. I know this was back in three digit years so maybe this wasn't seen as taboo (and gross!), but ughghghg! But then it gets even worse when he starts caressing her cheek and runs her fingers over her lips. It would be pretty icky even if she wasn't related to him. She's crying and she can't recoil from his touch for the sake of her son's safety.  

There is one final battle in the Colosseum and this time it's between Commodus and Maximus. Everyone is shouting Maximus's name which I'm sure Commodus loves. Maximus is chained to the wall and Commodus tells him that since Maximus loved his father like he did (are we sure about that, Commie, you know, since you killed your father), he declares they are brothers. He hugs him, but it's only a pretense so he can stab him in the chest with a little dagger. He tells one of the guards to strap on Maximus's armor so it will conceal the wound. They are lifted up by chains from under group up to the arena. Someone in the crowd yells, "Off with his head, Maximus!" This battle is a little bit different as all the guards are in a circle around the two men battling. 

They begin fighting with their swords and everyone cheers when Maximus gives Commodus a huge slash across the back. This causes him to drop his sword and he asks Quintus to give him his sword. I was kind of confused by this because was he able to retrieve his own sword? Did Maximus take it? Also, it seems like cheating asking for a sword from one of your guards (which seems like it's cheating having them there!). However, Quintus, who had earlier betrayed Maximus to ally with Commodus is now betraying Commodus as he not only obliges to give him his swords, but he orders the other guards to "sheathe your swords" after Commodus starts to panic and yells at anyone to give him a sword. 

Maximus turns into Russell Crowe and uses his elbow to knock Commodus in the face, then he just uses his fists to punch him in the face. The funny thing is, I'd probably still use the Russell Crowe joke even if another actor played Maximus. Hey, at least he's being fair not using his sword since Commodus didn't have one. (I still don't understand why he couldn't retrieve it!) But I probably spoke too soon because now Maximus has Commodus in a headlock and has pulled out a dagger that he's pointing towards Commodus's face and the young tyrant is straining to get away from it. Maximus jabs him in the throat and Commodus falls to the ground. Maximus stays on his feet fora few seconds, but also ends up falling on the ground. He starts to have visions of his idyllic home but before it is time to be ruined with his family in the afterlife, he has a few more tasks to take care of. He tells Quintus to free his men and that Senator Gracchus is to be reinstated. He says these are the wishes of Marcus Aurelius. Right away, Quintus orders for the prisoners to be freed. Maximus falls (quite dramatically) backwards onto the dirt and Lucilla runs toward him. He tells her that Lucius is safe and she nods. She tells him, "Go to them", giving him permission to die and return to his family. 

In a fierce voice, she tells Senator Gracchus and the others surrounding her to honor Maximus because he was a soldier of Rome. Gracchus asks who will help him carry him and Maximus's fellow gladiators flock to help the Senator lift the deceased soldier above their heads and carry him out of the arena. In the last scene, Juba tells his friend, "Now were are free. I will see you again. But not yet, not yet."

If you haven't seen Gladiator 2 and don't want to be spoiled, stop reading this now! You have been warned! 

Okay, I saw Gladiator 2 a couple months ago and while I'm not going to review it (at least not right now), I will say the first movie is still better. We find out that Lucius is actually Maximus's son, which makes sense. If they were hinting at it in the first movie, they don't flat out say he's the father, but I'm sure the audience is to think it could be a possibility. If you thought the first movie was a bit gory, wait until you see the sequel. The battles in the arena are just ridiculous, especially one when they put water in the arena and everyone is on ships and there's sharks in the water. Like, how are they even transporting sharks to the arena? 

Wednesday, October 8, 2025

Killer Date

Drop
Director: Christopher Landon
Cast: Meghann Fahy, Brandon Sklenar, Reed Diamond
Released: April 11, 2025


This is a fun thriller, but there are some things that really don't make much sense why the bad guy would go through all this trouble. 

Violet (Meghann Fahy), a single mother and psychiatrist, is going out on her first date in quite awhile. She's a victim of domestic abuse and her ex is dead, though it's unclear whether she killed him or not. (We'll find out the truth later.) For the last three months, she's been talking to a guy named Henry on a dating app and they're meeting to have dinner. Her sister will be watching her five-year-old son, Toby. 

The restaurant they choose to have their first date at is a bit much for a first date. It's on the top floor of a tall building in Chicago so if you sit by a window, you have this amazing view of the city. It's clear this is a high class place just by the decor and the food they serve. This is the kind of place you would go for a special anniversary, not a first date. 

Violet has taken a taxi and after she's dropped off, before entering the building, she looks up and tells herself, "It's just a date." On the way up in the elevator, she gets a text from Henry telling her he's going to be ten minutes late. 

She decides to get a drink at the bar. The restaurant is set up so the hostess stand and restrooms are separated from the bar and the dining area by a long tunneled hallway you have to walk through. When she enters the dining area, she immediately bumps into a guy. Now if you already knew the premise of this movie, you might think he's the one sending her the drops (we'll get to that soon if you have no idea what that means, i.e, you have no idea what the plot of this movie is), but I knew it wasn't going to be him because it would be way too obvious. They bumped into each other because they were both looking at their phones. She had just gotten a text from Henry telling her he was on his way. Duh, Henry, you already told her that with your first message! 

While at the bar, she chitchats with the bartender, a young woman who's also a single mother. An older guy in a suit asks her if she's Diane and introduces himself as Richard. She tells him she's not Diane and learns he's on a blind date. While they're talking, the piano player interrupts them and starts flirting with Violet. The bartender tells him to knock it off, that she's waiting for her date. When he asks her is she has any songs she likes, she asks him if he knows "Baby Shark" because that's her son's favorite song. Yep, it might be time to get out if the only song you can think of is "Baby Shark." 

Diane arrives and it's clear by the look on her facer, she's not thrilled about Richard. Why would she even agree to go on this date? Why would anyone agree to go on a blind date? Richard follows her to their table and when he turns around, Violet gives him a thumbs up sign. While still waiting (I feel like it's been more than ten minutes!), Violet texts her sister to see how things are going. Her date hasn't even started yet and she she's already texting home? But this is mainly used as a plot device because while on her phone, she received a "digiDrop" from someone with the username Lets_Play who wants to share a photo and she can either accept or decline it. She declines it. A digiDrop is like an AirDrop. (I'm guessing they didn't have the rights to use AirDrop.) We'll get a little more information how it works later. I would be a little freaked out if I were her and was receiving an digiDrop from some random person in a restaurant. If there were someone you knew there, wouldn't they just text you (or, come up and say hello)? I would be wondering why someone random person was sending me a pic, and I too, like her, would decline it. 

She starts looking at pictures of Henry (who is very good-looking) from the dating profile and I thought for sure he was going to come up and see her looking at pics of him and I would have been so embarrassed for her, but instead she gets another digiDrop that she declines. She looks around the restaurant and literally, almost everybody is on their phones. 

Henry, who is a photographer, shows up with his camera. He says he brought his camera with him because if he left if in the car someone will take it. I mean, I get him being cautious, but having him bring the camera is for the sake of the plot. Another thing that is for the sake of the plot is Violet leaving her phone on the table. She asks him if it's okay she leave her phone there just in case her sister needs to get in touch with her and he says it's fine. 

Now if you're wondering, is Henry the one sending her the digiDrops, that is something I never considered because the summary on Peacock is about how she's receiving messages from someone that wants her to kill her date, so why would those come from him? (Hope that wasn't a spoiler!) 

Their waiter comes to take their order. It is his first day and he just wants to chat about how he's an improv actor and he's writing a sketch for Second City where he plays a hat on top of Allison Janney's head (that is the most random thing!). He is clearly the comic relief of the movie. When he leaves to get their drinks, Violet receives another digDrop. Henry sees the concern on her face and asks if everything is okay and she shows him and tells him somebody keeps sending them. He thinks it's probably just a bunch of dumb kids messing with her because it happens to him all the time on the L train. She doesn't think this is the kind of place where someone would do that, but when they look around they see a bunch of high school kids having dinner before prom and assume it must be one of them. 

She places the phone face down on the table and it beeps again and she picks it up just in case it's her sister. This time it and she she's sent a cute photo of her son eating ice cream. As she's holding the phone, another digiDrop appears (this guy is a relentless (and yes, I'm going to presume its a guy!)). So when she gets these drops, there are memes and this one in particular has her name on it. I'm not really into meme culture so none of these meant anything to me. I think there was only one meme I was familiar with and it's probably the one you're thinking of. 

This makes her very concerned, but Henry isn't concerned at all. He explains to her (and the audience) how the digiDrop works: erveryone who has the app (wait, it's an app?) can see her name and photo (as well as the names and photos of the other people who have the app. Is it me or does this app seem kinda intrusive? Like, what kind of f***ed up app is this? Why would I want why my name and photo out there for everyone to see? I would never download this (fictional) app. He thinks you have to be within fifty feet to send a digiDrop so he uses his phone to record how far away fifty feet is and discovers the lobby and kitchen are out of range, so it's coming form somebody in the dining room. Thanks, Sherlock! 

While the waiter is going on about the specials, Violet receives a message from this Lets_Play character, but this time he wants to send a message, not a photo. And this time she accepts it. So why is she accepting messages, but not photos? Perhaps if he had started with a message in the first place, he wouldn't have to send her 15 unanswered digiDrops! The message tells her to check her home security cameras, which she does and she sees a masked man with a gun in her kitchen looking at the camera. She scrolls through the other cameras and sees her sister reading a book to Toby in his bedroom. I've never seen someone with so many security cameras; she must have ten around the house! Something tells me when her son gets older, he's going to ask his mother to take away the camera in his room! I get that this is done for the plot of the movie, but that seems like an extreme breach of your child's privacy, but since he's only five, we'll let it slide for now. 

Needless to say, she looks visibly upset and Henry asks her if she's okay and before she can say anything, she gets another message from Lets_Play which says, "Keep your mouth shut." 

Okay, the first time she received the message, it appeared as "Lets_Play sent you a message" and she could either click accept or decline, like she did with the photos. But with the "Keep your moth shut" message, she can can read it on the screen and didn't have to accept it. Maybe since she accepted the first message, she now has unlocked all incoming messages from him? IDK? And yes, this is the stupid stuff I ponder about. 

I watched this scene about three or four times to try to make sense of how this app worked (I don't know why I was so obsessed with figuring out how a stupid fictional app worked!) and while the waiter is talking about the specials you're so focused on Violet who is focused on her phone that you're probably not really supposed to be listening to the waiter, like she is, but after watching this four times, I caught it the fourth time and what he said made me laugh. He's telling them about the "lemon oyster soup" and I laughed when he says, "it sounds weird...and it is! But it's good!" 

Violet tells Henry she needs to call home and gets up. While she's walking away from the table, she has dialed 911, but before she connects the call, she gets a message saying her phone has been cloned and "I can see everything." This mystery person tells her if she calls the cops, leaves the restaurant, or tells anyone, then her son will die. At that moment she runs into the same guy from earlier before and I'm more convinced than ever that he is a red herring. He is just too obvious. 

She goes into the bathroom where some of the high schools girls are putting on makeup. Before she can say anything to them, she gets a warning text not to tell them anything. She asks one for eyeliner and tries to write "Call 911" on her palm, but the girl is confused because the writing is all smudged and she thinks it says "Cal". She gets another warning text. After the girls leave, Violet discovers there was a small camera behind a decorative vase. When she comes back to the table, she tells Henry she's emotional because she hasn't been out "like this" since her son was born. She notices a small camera at the end of the table, much similar to the one she found in the bathroom. Whoever's doing this has sure gone to a lot of trouble! 

She makes up a story, telling Henry that her son can't find his stuffed animal and acts like she just realized where it is. She starts texting, pretending it's to her sister, but she texts her new friend, asking, "Who are you?" and he tells her he could be anyone. Helpful, but of course he's not going to reveal himself to her. 

Violet tells Henry she would like to move tables because heights make her nervous. The waiter secures them a different table and as they're following him, she gets a couple messages: "Do not switch tables", followed by "Toby's dead in one minute if you don't go back." Of course she insists their old table was fine and she wants to go back. She says they they came for the view and she's going to get over her fear. The waiter is a little annoyed, but tries his best to remain polite. 

Once they're settled back at their original table, the hostess comes over to make sure everything is okay with the table and reminds Henry that he specifically reserved this one. He says he didn't so we know the person behind this called the restaurant and used his name. 

The mystery digiDropper sends Violet his first demand: "Get the SD card from this camera." He doesn't even offer her a few hints of how she can do this; he just expects her to figure it out on her own. While Henry is ordering (I swear they already ordered in a previous scene?), Violet discreetly slips off her watch (please, what kind of thirty year old still wears a watch in this day and age?) and puts it in her purse (which is under the table). After their waiter leaves, she "realizes" her watch is missing and says it must have fallen off because of a faulty clasp. She knows for sure she had it on when she entered the restaurant because the hostess had complimented it. She asks Henry if he would mind asking the hostess if anyone has seen it or brought it to her. While Henry is doing that (and remember, he has to walk through the tunnel to get to the hostess stand), she gets the SD card from his camera. I gotta be honest, I would have no idea how to do that. I would have to Google "How to retrieve SD card from a camera" and I would 100% get caught because I would be taking too long to do it. It gets pretty tight, but she manages to get it before he gets back. 

She gets a text for her to go to the restroom. She tells Henry that she's going to look for her watch there. When she gets to the ladies' room, she gets another message telling her to smash the card and flush it down the toilet, which she does. 

She thinks this is all she has to do (HA!), but she she gets another message to open the towel dispenser and when she does, she finds a vial of what is presumably poison and is told to "pour it in Henry's drink and that will be "quick. (Spoiler alert...it won't be that quick!) 

When the hostess stand is empty, she goes behind the counter to use those computers. Now I've never been a hostess at a restaurant, but I didn't think you can get online on those computers.  Don't they just have a program set up to take reservations and times and table numbers, like I doubt you can search the web for a domestic abuse hotline like she does. She enters the chat and starts typing about how her son is being held hostage. Before she can push enter, she gets a message telling her she better not send it. Before

Violet suggest to Henry that they take a shot and at first he's hesitant because he has to work the next day and she apologetically says she was trying to lighten the mood and he relents, replying, "A shot never killed anybody" to which she just laughs nervously. 

They both agree on tequila (Hey! I had a shot of tequila a couple months ago!) and she insists on going to the bar to get them. While she's getting up to leave, her foot catches on her purse and her watch spills out. You would think this would mean the end of the date, but it doesn't. If anything, it will almost bring them closer together. Also, I don't know why she just didn't "find" her watch when she went to the restroom to "look" for it. I suppose she was just too distracted to think about that since she had just been told to kill her date. 

While ordering the tequila, the bartender she had talked to earlier asks if she's okay because she seem "kind of on edge" (that's an understatement!), but Violet tells her it's just "first date jitters". She takes the vial out which seems like a stupid thing to do. You're in a crowded room and taking out a vial. Surely she's not going to pour it in the drink right there! That would make her look totally sus. But before she can do anything, she gets a text telling her to "do it at the table." Ha, even the deranged psycho knows that's a stupid move. Plus, I guess he needs to see her do it, but if he's texting her to do it at the table, doesn't that mean he saw her take the vial out? I don't know...there's a lot of things about this movie that don't make much sense as you already can tell. Violet is about to take the drinks back to the table and when the bartender asks if she wants some limes, she hesitates for a minute before saying, "No thanks." Aren't limes a necessity when taking a tequila shot? But she has a plan! 

Back at the table, Henry hands her the watch and she tries to play dumb (girl, please!) asking him where he found it and he tells her it spilled out of her purse. You would think this would be a dealbreaker, but it isn't. He tells her that she's distracted and he knows something's happening because she keeps looking around and texting. Yeah, even the bartender across the room knows something is going on with her. She's making it pretty obvious. This is when they have a heart to heart conversation and he tells her he messaged her because she seemed like a genuine person. As a viewer, you like these two together and you hope that she doesn't actually kill him, even though her son's life is in danger if she doesn't. Plus them having a connection is just going to make it all the more difficult for her to kill him. 

Of course she deliberately forgot the limes so she could ask him to grab them. While he's gone, she takes out the vial and allegedly pours the liquid in his drink. I say allegedly because how the scene is set up, the camera tilts up so you can't really see the drink in the shot. She sees the red herring guy sitting at a table and glares at him.  

Henry returns to the table with the limes and they toast to hope. Violet watches him as he brings the drink closer to his lips, then right before he takes a sip, she spills her glass of wine, getting all over his shirt. As he goes to clean up, she gets a message: "That wasn't smart." 

Okay, I'm about to go into spoiler territory so if you don't want to know who's been sending her the drops, don't read any further.  Spoilers ahoy! 

The bartender comes over and tells her she's been acting skittish all night and thinks Violet doesn't feel safe with her date and offers to help her get out of there. Violet tells her that's not the case here. The subject turns to Richard, the guy with the blind date that left in a huff, and the bartender tells Violet she doesn't blame his date for leaving because "he's been staring at you all night." Aha! Violet walks over to him with the two tequila shots. She offers him a drink, telling him she thought he could use it. He calls her by her name and says, "One drink is my limit for the night." She says she doesn't remember telling him her name and knowing he's been caught, he snarls, "Sit." My question: did he call her by her name on purpose? 

Okay, so I left some information out when Violet and the audience are first introduced to Richard when he first asks Violet if she's Diane, his blind date. He tells her that his date didn't have social media and thus he didn't know what she looked like. I can maybe believe this if his date is around his age, which is probably mid 60s. But why would he think his date is a woman in his thirties? Of course, he knew all along who Violet was and that probably should have been my first clue that this guy was sus. 

Once she's seated, he tells her to pick a shot and drink it and she does. This guy isn't even going to try to pretend he's not the one sending her the drops. He tells her he picked this table to watch her from because "it's the only one in the blind spot of the camera." 

So why has Richard gone through all this trouble to threaten Violet's son and sister, to place cameras all around the restaurant (how did he even do that without being noticed?), to call the restaurant as Henry and reserve that special table (well, that was the easiest task he had to do), to poison the piano player and somehow sneak back into the kitchen and place the twenty dollar bill under her food (how DID he do that?)...why has he done all of that just for the hassle to have Violet kill her date? 

Well, turns out Richard works for the mayor who's corrupt and Henry had some information on his camera that could hurt the mayor if it ever got out in public (I don't remember what it was...some scandal), hence why Richard had Violet destroy the SIM card. Henry had received a call from the FBI asking him to meet them tonight and hand over the SIM card. But if it's already been destroyed....why does he want Violet to kill him? That seems a bit extreme. I understand he's an informant for the FBI, but if he doesn't have any evidence, how is he going to help? Maybe I missed something. 

When she tells him she's going to tell the police about the drops, he reminds her that they're untraceable and there's no way one can detect who they came from. He tells her he chose her because she killed her husband. But she didn't. The real story is that he shot himself. But, honestly, would anyone blame her if she did kill him? He had just beaten her and at one point, threatened their baby with the gun. If she did shoot him, I would call it self defense. 

His waiter comes by with his panna cotta which he raves about. He tells her that the camera above her table recorded her spike the shot with "Sertraline laced with a little fentanyl" and that he chose that because he knows she prescribes Sertraline sometimes to her patients so it would look like it came from her. He boasts about how he's playing chess and that he's two steps ahead of her. In fact, she's not even in the same league as he is because, according to him, she's playing a totally different game. She's playing Yahtzee. It was at this moment, that I knew she was going to somehow poison his dessert. I knew this because 1) he was making such a big fuss over the dessert and how beautiful and delicious it look, and b) he kept bragging about how he was "winning". 

Richard tells Violet the only way to save her son is to have Henry drink the shot and that it will be her "last chance." When Henry walks over to him, Richard tells him that he and Violet are "old pals." Violet gives Henry the shot and Richard is looking at him gleefully as he watches him drink it. Violet asks him to give her a few more minutes and once he's out of earshot, she tells Richard to call the intruder at her house and call off the hit since she did what he asked her to. He calls the guy and tells him, "It's done." He doesn't quite tell him to leave. The guy replies that he'll wait for confirmation. Isn't "it's done" the confirmation? Richard tells Violet he's going to eat his dessert while he waits for Henry to "keel over." 

As he's eating his dessert, she tells him about the time she went out to dinner with her late husband and he was eating panna cotta and she would "pretend everything was fine" like "tonight when I pretended to poison that shot." He looks very alarmed as he looks down at his half-eaten dessert. We get a flashback from two minutes ago when she poisons his dessert because he's looking gleefully and intently at Henry. Like, dude. C'mon. What an idiot. 

But Violet may be a bit of an idiot too. I get that she wanted to get the satisfaction of him knowing that she "won" (and it's really funny when she says "Yahtzee" when he realizes he's been poisoned), but she should have just left him to die because he has plenty of time to call his henchman back to tell him to kill Violet's son and sister. He also has time to take a gun out, but before he can shoot Violet, Henry pushes her out of the way and he gets shot in the arm. The bullet ends up hitting a window and Violet throws a hockey puck (which Henry had given her earlier in the date as a present for her son) at the window and it breaks and Richard ends up flying out of the window like he's being sucked out of an airplane. This poison that Richard told Violet would be "quick" was not quick at all! He was killed from falling out of a building before the poison killed him. Violet is also pulled towards the window, but manages to grab a curtain that's snagged on a nail by a literal thread. Right before she's about to plunge to her death, Henry pulls her back up. 

She uses Henry's car to race to her house and is able to stop the masked man from killing her son. Way earlier in the movie, when she was still at home and getting ready for her date, a guy had knocked on her window and asked her where her meter was, telling her he was here to check it. I had totally forgotten about him and when the intruder's masks comes off, we find out it was the so-called meter man. 

We get a cute scene of Violet visiting Henry at the hospital and they agree to go on a second date after having a laugh over their "hard core first date." Just think of the story they can tell their grandchildren about their first date!

Thursday, September 11, 2025

A lookback at selected post 9/11 commercials

I found this video on YouTube where someone posted commercials that aired after 9/11. I have to admit, aside from two, I didn't remember any of them. This was a half hour video and many of them were from the big national stations (NBC, ABC, CBS) and local channels (the user must be from D.C. or at least that's where he got them). These segments consist of the networks offering their condolences, lots of American flags being proudly flown, lit candles, and children singing patriotic songs. There's lots of text with words like "HEALING" and "UNITY" and "STRENGTH." There's one from the Red Cross, the upcoming stories on 60 Minutes and Dateline, and one local station has a couple of stories they're working on. One of them asks, "Could our drinking water be the target of a terrorist attack?" OMG, let's just scare the American people even more! There was also another upcoming news report about how there are "long lines and long waits as local airports begin to reopen." And I'm thinking, you have no idea.  

Okay, I kind of grouped all those together. I'm going to talk individually about some of the commercials that I found the most interesting:

There were a couple commercials that were for New York tourism. One of them was a bunch of Broadway performers (some in their costumes; I immediately recognized the costumes for The Lion King!) singing "New York, New York" in Times Square. I recognized plenty of famous faces: Bernadette Petters, Bebe Neuwirth, Brooke Shields, Harvey Fierstein, Joel Grey, Matthew Broderick, Patti LuPone, and Nathan Lane who provides the narration at the end: "Come to New York and let's go on with the show." 

The other New York tourism commercial is one that I (vaguely) remember. It shows Central Park, Grand Central Station, Broadway, Times Square, the Empire State Building, all the pivotal sites. We see people wearing their "I [heart] NY" t-shirts (Hey, I bought one of those when I visited many years ago! I think it's the law you have to buy one when you visit!) and a bunch of people from all walks of life enthusiastically tell the camera, "I love New York!" Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa come out of their studio and simultaneously say, "We love New York!" A doorman adds, "Now, more than ever." Aww, don't make me cry, NYC doorman! 

The commercial ends with (mayor of NYC at the time) Rudy Giuliani and (governor of New York at the time) George Pataki  standing in Times Square telling the audience to "see New York in it's finest hour" and that "you'll say it too" and they both utter, "I love New York." 

Obviously, the city of New York was impacted greatly by this tragedy, but so was the airline industry, and there was a commercial from both airlines that had planes hijacked by terrorists that day. They're both really different on how they approach their product.

American Airlines shows different images one might associate with an airline: A plane flying in a pretty sun-setting sky! The people on the ground directing the plane with illuminated beacons like they're in The Rock! People happily boarding a plane! A businessman looking satisfied at the electronic board that displays all the flights! People hugging at the airport! People walking through the airport with their luggage! A passenger saluting a pilot as he boards a plane! Everyone just seems so happy and I'm thinking, this is like no airport I've ever been. While all those images are being flashed, an Enya-esque song is playing. To me, it sounds like "Storms in Africa", but it's not. There's no voiceover or actors with speaking lines, but instead we get text on the screen that say things like "We are an airline....We are a way of life....The freedom to come and go anywhere anytime with confidence." The last line of text reads, "We are an airline that is proud to bear the name American." 

The United commercial has a bunch of different people who work for the company (pilots, flight attendants, the people on the ground) giving confessionals to the camera as the piano music from "Rhapsody in Blue" is playing. 

This commercial pretty much confronts the fact that their airline was used in the terrorist attacks. One of the first talking heads is a pilot who says, "We took a blow, but we're gonna get up and we might have gotten knocked to our knees, even, but we're gonna stand up and press on." I was kinda shocked that they took such a direct approach, but I admire them for doing that. Other lines of dialogue include, "This impacts everybody" and "As long as we stick together and stay together, no one can divide us." It ends with "We are United."

Even though I liked both of the airliners' commercials, I liked the United one just a tad more because they had the guts to address the issue head on. 

The only commercial I didn't like was one from Subway. Now that could be because I hate Subway. I think their sandwiches are gross and I refuse to eat there. Give me Jimmy John's or Jersey Mike's or Quiznos any day.

The ad is just a black screen with white text saying how everyone who was affected by the tragedy are in their thoughts and prayers and they want to "extend [their] deepest gratitude to the heroes involved in the rescue effort." It ends with "God Bless America," then the Subway logo appears. 

There's no somber music or even a somber voiceover; it's completely silent. This commercial was just weird. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I didn't like it. Now I knew if they were showing images of their products, then that would not work at all so I understand why they went this way. Then I saw a couple more commercials that have their own tribute to those affected by 9/11 without showing their product and they did it so much better than this boring and bland Subway commercial and I realized I didn't like this commercial because they didn't put any effort in it. 

One of those commercials that did it better was Verizon. It's a black and white commercial of children running around the Statue of Liberty while "The Prayer" plays. I immediately recognized the song because I was familiar with it. It's sung by Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli and is on Celine's Christmas album. The song was originally written for the 1998 animated movie Quest for Camelot which I'm sure has been lost to the sands of time.There's another version sung by Josh Groban and Charlotte Church and that's the one they used.

With lyrics like "Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace, give us faith so we'll be safe", it almost feels like the song was written for a time like this.

I have to admit, I had no idea what the commercial was for and at one point there's a close up of one of the kid's sandals and I was thinking it was an ad for shoes. (No, it wasn't.) 

As the commercial continues, we see close up shots of the Statue of Liberty and close up shots of children all gazing up at wonder at her. One of the lyrics sung is, "A world where pain and sorrow will be ended and every heart that's broken will be mended." They're really going for the heartstrings here. 

It ends with a close up of the torch and the text on screen reads, "in tribute to those we lost, in gratitude to those who served." Then we see the Verizon logo. Is it a little schmaltzy? Perhaps, but I appreciate the facet that they put effort in their commercial with filming footage and choosing a song that fit the mood unlike what Subway did.

The commercial I was the most familiar with was the one with the Budweiser Clydesdales. These horses are so iconic that you already know what the commercial is for and they don't even have to show their product. This one was shown during the 2002 Super Bowl and  it was shown again ten years later. We see the eights horses trotting from their barn through a pasture, snow-covered grounds, and after crossing the Brooklyn Bridge, they come to a clearing with a view of the Manhattan skyline and the Statue of Liberty where they stop and bow. It is so simple, yet so effective. I dare you to get through watching this without a dry eye.


Monday, September 1, 2025

Lohanissance

Freakier Friday
Director: Nisha Ganatra
Cast: Lindsay Lohan, Jamie Lee Curtis, Julia Butters, Sophia Hammons, Manny Jacinto, Chad Michael Murray, Mark Harmon, Vanessa Bayer
Released: August 8, 2025
Viewed in theaters: August 13, 2025


When I reviewed the 1976 Freaky Friday and its 2003 remake almost ten years ago, I said that the 2003 version was far superior and I still stand by that. I really like the 2003 movie with Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis and was excited when I found out there would be a sequel and of course I had to see it. While I did enjoy it, the original (as in the 2003 film, not the '76 movie just so we're clear!) is still better. One thing I didn't know about the 2003 version (or maybe I did know, but just forgot, but it wasn't something I mentioned in my review) is that they asked Jodie Foster to play the mom, but she passed. To be honest, I'm kind of glad she did. For one thing, I can't see anyone as the mom but Jamie Lee Curtis. (Though I also learned that Annette Bening was originally cast as the mom, but had to drop out.) Jodie Foster is a great actress (she's got two Oscars!), but she's not known for her comedic roles. Silence of the Lambs?? Definitely not a comedy! The Accused? Have you seen that? Most definitely not a comedy! I've never seen Contact or Nell (I know, deep cuts there), but I'm guessing those aren't comedies either! It would have been fun if they had done a reverse Panic Room and Jodie Foster had a cameo as someone on the phone...or even as a patient of Tess's. (I call it a reverse Panic Room because Nicole Kidman was supposed to be in that movie, but wasn't able to, so she had a cameo on the phone as Jodie's character's ex's new wife.) So yeah, I'm glad they kept the two Freaky Friday movies separate...as they should be! 

Freakier Friday shares a lot of DNA with its 2003 counterpart. In the first movie, Tess (Jamie Lee Curtis) is getting married and in this movie, Anna (Lindsay Lohan) is getting married! Like, could they at least try to come up with something new? Freakier Friday is a little more convoluted because it involves four people who get body swapped, but it's really not that complicated; it just sometimes doesn't make sense. Having Anna and Tess switch bodies like they did in the first movie, really wouldn't make sense since Anna is in her 30s now. Both women are mothers and are responsible adults with jobs...it would be a bit of a boring movie if they switched again. No, we need to bring in some more teens. Anna has a daughter, Harper (Julia Butters), who she's raising as a single parent, but Tess is helping her co-parent her (I think that's the word she used). I don't remember if they said how old she is, but I'm guessing she's probably supposed to be fifteen, like Anna was in the first movie. There's a new girl at school who Harper can't stand. Lily (Sophie Hammons) is British and she acts like she's better than everyone else and brags about her French model boyfriend (who, spoiler alert, isn't real). The girls get into a fight during a science experiment and ruin the classroom and Anna and Lily's dad, Eric (Manny Jacinto) are both called to the school for their daughter's behavior and it's pretty much love at first sight. It's pretty ridiculous and the movie knows it as the teacher calls a restaurant for them and sets them up on a date. We then get a obligatory montage of them going on dates and falling in love until they're engaged and neither girl is thrilled about this, obviously. I much prefer the original when Tess was already engaged to Ryan. I understand why they did it this way, but it's ridiculous these two people are moving this fast. 

So throughout about the first third of the movie, it was driving me crazy because I was trying to place who Eric was. I knew I recognized him from some show or movie I had seen him in. Then, it suddenly hit me that he looked an awful lot like Jason from The Good Place and when I got home that was indeed him. I think it took me awhile to place him because this character is so different from his character in The Good Place (and if you've seen that show, you know what I mean!) and he has a British accent (for some reason) in this one. At first, I thought they made him British since maybe the actress who plays his daughter is British in real life, but no, she's American. There is a plot point where the two adults are wondering if they should move to London or stay in Los Angeles. Can't they just make Lily and her dad be from New York? It's still a long way to move. 

So the way the switch happens is when everyone's at Anna's bachelorette party and a palm reader named Madame Jen (played by Vanessa Bayer) is there as a fun little novelty. Well, turns out her powers are stronger than she even knows and after reciting some mantra (which I can't remember because I've only seen this movie once (I usually am able to watch my movies on streaming platforms so I can watch with subtitles!), an earthquake appears that only the four females can feel and Anna and Tess share a look like, I hope that's not what we think it is, then both shake their heads. They both clearly have PTSD from what happened 22 years ago! 

So of course the switch happens at midnight and like I mentioned before, it's a little more convoluted than the first movie, but really not that convoluted. Anna and Harper have switched bodies. This makes sense that Anna, now a mother, has switched bodies with her daughter as she was the daughter who switched bodies with her mother in the first movie. But for some inexplicable reason, Tess and Lily switch places. Okay, I get that they don't want Tess and Anna switching bodies again because it's more fun when a kid is an adults body and vice versa and Anna and Harper make sense switching bodies, so that leaves only Tess and Lily to switch bodies, but yeah, I'm sorry, it makes no f***ing sense. Maybe I need to dig deeper to see if I can find a podcast or review that will make me change my mind about that, but I haven't come across anything so far. 

So now Tess and Anna are in the bodies of the two teenaged girls and while they're trying to remain calm and are discussing that they need to find Madame Jen, in the background we see Harper and Lily, now in the bodies of the two adult women run across the room and smack right into each other. Seeing Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan repeat this scene from the first is a really funny callback to the first movie...BUT it really doesn't make sense. If Harper is in her mom's body, then why would she try to collide with Lily who's in her grandmother's body? Yeah, makes no sense. 

I do think the way this scene was done in the first movie is way better and much funnier. There's also the fact that it was just two people and they were freaking out, but also knew they couldn't tell anybody what had happened. In this movie, Harper and Lily are freaked out, but they don't seem that freaked out to me. In fact, both teen girls in their adult women bodies seem to think this might be a great way for them to get what they want: have their parents break up. 

So the high school girls spend their day trapped in the bodies of older women (one, a woman in her mid-thirties, and another in her late sixties, but knowing high school kids, they probably think anyone over the age of 28 is ancient!) and the two grown ups spend their day as teen girls.

Anna and Tess, trapped in the body of the high school students have some amusing moments, but we're really here to watch Lohan and Curtis, so I'll just quickly try to remember as much as I can from their day: they go to school and are sent to detention and I can't remember why. Something involving a food fight, but I can't remember how it all started. Stephen Tobolowsky is one of many people from the first movie who came back for this movie. Remember, he played Mr. Bates who had a grudge against Anna because he once asked Tess out in high school and she rejected him. That's such a petty thing. Of course the girls recognize him and are surprised he's still teaching there. I would be surprised too because he's in his 70s! 

Other people who are back from the first movie include Mark Harmon as Ryan, Tess's husband, Anna's younger brother makes an appearance at her wedding reception, her old band mates from Pink Slip, and of course, Chad Michael Murray as whatshisface. But we'll get to him in a minute. Even the mother and daughter from the Chinese restaurant where the whole thing started in the first movie make an appearance at Anna's bachelorette party. It's nice to know she doesn't hold a grudge against the mother for what happened a couple decades ago! 

Back to Anna and Tess who are being portrayed by the young actresses. There is a funny moment when they're outside (somehow, the entire detention class convinced Mr. Bates to move detention outside) and they want to try to escape and they look over and see something that will help with their escape. Well, the camera shows a shot of two motorcycles and I was thinking they were going to take those, but in the next scene they're riding scooters. Being that they're two adults trapped in teen bodies, they're being very responsible. The only sign of rebellion is when they go crazy with all the junk food they eat because, hey, why not. This is also a callback to the first movie when Tess, in Anna's body, goes crazy with the fries.


Meanwhile, Harper and Lily (you know, Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis) decide the best way to split up their parents is to try to get Harper's mom back with her old high school boyfriend, Jake (oh, yeah, that's his name). They find him on Facebook, something "only old people use" according to Harper. (Heh, she's not wrong. I actually remember when you had to have a college e-mail to use it. Also, if you think the Facebook reference is dated, I'm pretty sure they make a MySpace reference in the 2003 movie. Now that's antiquated!) They find out he works at a record shop and there's another joke about listening to a band that only old people like and that band is Coldplay. Lindsay Lohan as Harper is "flirting" with Jake and it's the most awkward, excruciating thing ever. He's very confused because he knows she's engaged and as far as I remember, they don't really keep in touch anymore. Though I don't know if that moment was more awkward then when he sees Tess and is asking her if her husband was still around. You remember how he had a connection with Tess in the first movie, but of course that was because it was actually Anna. It could also be that Jake is into older women. 

Anna is a music producer and on this particular day there is a photoshoot with a singer named Ella. Harper and Lily, in their adult bodies, decide to crash the photoshoot and we get a montage of Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis wearing crazy outfits and posing with the young singer. Earlier, Harper had found a song her mom wrote a few years ago and she assumed it was a love song her mom had written about Jake. 

There's a moment when the girls are in a car with Lily in Tess's body driving  and being that they're teen girls who haven't learned to drive yet, they drive very erratically. At one point they stop next to another car where there's a teen boy in the back seat and Lily starts flirting with him. I guess she forgot she was in the body of a 60-something woman? It reminded me of that scene in 13 Going on 30 when Judy Greer tells Jennifer Garner that this hot guy is checking her out (I think they're at a restaurant, it's been a minute since I've seen that movie) but Jennifer (who started the movie as a thirteen-year-old (you've all seen the movie or go read the review if you don't know what it's about!) thinks she's talking about the teen boy who's sitting nearby and she goes over to flirt with him. It's so cringe! 

Anna and Eric are supposed to have an interview with an immigration officer (oh, is this why they make them British?) and Harper, as her mother, is ready to fail miserably, but then she realizes how much Eric loves her mother because he knows the answer to everything, even obscure questions. She does not sabotage the interview as initially planned. She is coming around to her mom and Eric getting married, but that may be because Eric told her (thinking she's Anna) that it would be best for all of them to stay in Los Angeles. 

Lily is still determined to ruin the wedding and invites Jake to the rehearsal wedding. (Oh, yeah, the wedding is the next day, much like the first movie's "freaky Friday" happened the day before Tess's and Ryan's wedding.) Eric ends up calling off the wedding and to be honest, I can't remember exactly why. I don't think it's only because Jake was there. 

Lily has a heart-to-heart with Tess and realizes that she wants her dad to be happy so she talks to him (as Tess, because remember that's who's body she's in) and convinces him that he shouldn't throw away what he has with Anna.

Meanwhile, Anna has been invited to the concert Ella is performing that night because her old bandmates from Pink Slip are going to perform (maybe they've collaborated with Ella? IDK) so both she and Harper go, because obviously the real Anna is in Harper's body so she's going to need to hide backstage while her daughter performs onstage as herself. You think this is another callback to the first movie when Jamie Lee Curtis, portraying Anna, is backstage playing the electric guitar while Lindsay Lohan, portraying her mother, is onstage pretending to play the electric guitar during the scene when Pink Slip is performing "Take Me Away", that one song that seems to be their only song because they always play it. It's kinda like how The Wonders from That Thing You Do! always performed "That Thing You Do!" Anyway, the movie does NOT do what we were expecting and Harper (as Anna) invites her "daughter" (actually her mother, God, this movie is confusing when you're trying to explain it!) to sing "Baby" with her. Why does she invite her out on stage with her? Because just moments earlier, Harper found out that the song she thought her mom wrote about her former boyfriend was actually about her. The song is called "Baby" so she thought it was being used as a term of affection. (Personally, I've always hated when people call their significant others "baby" because it skeeves me out...the only time I'm willing to let it go if it's used in a song.) But, no, "Baby" is about her literal baby. If this girl had just listened to the lyrics, she probably would have figured it out. 

Anyway, Eric ends up at the concert and he and Anna end up together. By the time they are reunited, everyone has switched back to their rightful bodies. I honestly don't remember anything that happened after that, but everyone is happy and all is good in the world again. At least, in their world. I still think the 2003 movie is better than the 1976 original film and this movie.