How to Save a Life

John Q

Director: Nick Cassavettes

Cast: Denzel Washington, Robert DuVall, James Woods, Kimberly Elise, Anne Heche, Ray Liotta

Released: February 15, 2002

I assume this movie was overlooked by many because it came out during the middle of the Oscars campaign when Denzel was nominated (and won) for Training Day which came out in late 2001. While there are super cheesy moments that make me feel like I was watching a made for TV movie at times (the music, the slow motion), I thought this was pretty entertaining (but when has Denzel ever let us down?) and it has to be the most exciting movie I've ever seen about health insurance!

John Quincy Archibald (Denzel Washington) is a man who is trying to make ends meet, but it is hard for him and his wife, Denise (Kimberly Elise). He works at a factory where he's supposed to be full time but because they don't need him that much, his hours have been reduced to only twenty a week, and she works at a supermarket and has to wear the ugliest brown and yellow uniform. We are introduced to them on the morning their car is being repossessed, but despite that, they seem to be in good spirits. But the day is still young. While at their nine-year-old (??) son's baseball game, the young boy collapses while running from one base to the other. Michael's parents rush him to Hope Memorial Hospital in Chicago and are told by doctors that his heart is three times larger than what it should be (sounds like the opposite of the Grinch's heart!) and not enough blood is being pumped into it, thus making it work too hard. They have put him on a monitor for now where his blood pressure is at 88, when it should be above 90. If it goes below 70, that means heart failure. It's probably not a big surprise to hear that before this movie is over, it will go down to 68.

The hospital administrator supervisor, Rebecca Payne (Anne Heche), and Dr. Turner (James Woods), inform the Archibalds that their son's heart is useless and needs a transplant, otherwise he may only have weeks to live. The decision seems to be easy for the parents (by the way, stellar acting from Denzel here...tears are running down his face, while he's trying to remain composed as he's having the conversation): of course they want their son's name to be put on the donor list and get the transplant as soon as possible. Rebecca tells them that his insurance doesn't cover the procedure and if they do want the procedure, they have to treat it as a "cash account" which means it will cost $250,000 and will require a down payment of $75,000 before they can put Michael's name on the transplant list. This is horrifying news for parents of a dying child who only have a little over a thousand dollars in savings. As Payne coldly states, "It costs money to provide health care."

The next part of the movie focuses on the parents doing anything they can do to change the fate of their son. John talks to his boss about his insurance and is informed they recently changed carriers from a PPO to HMO (my eyes usually glaze over when any type of insurance is being discussed, so I really don't know the differences). As a non-management part time employee such as he is, John only qualifies for "second tier" catastrophic coverage, which only has a max payout of only $20,000. (Can you tell I was taking notes? No way I can remember all this! Though I actually take notes for all of my movie reviews). John argues that he was hired as full time, but is only getting part time hours because work is slow and his boss replies that the coverage is based on hours worked. He regretfully tells him there's nothing he can do, but John can file an appeal which will take seven working days to process. 

The parents talk to someone at State Services who tells them she can't help them because they already have medical insurance and that they should be on welfare, which surprises Denise because they both already have jobs. They next go somewhere for financial aid and they end up in the wrong line (which was already long to begin with) and had to enter another long line. I really felt for them in that moment. They're in a cramped, crowded room. They have other things they could be doing to progress things and standing in a line for hours probably makes them feel like they are not getting anything done. Worst of all, when they do finally talk to someone to see if they can get financial aid, the answer they get is, "No, you don't qualify." A defeated and angry John replies "My son is dying. I'm broke. If I don't qualify who the hell does?" 

The next week he gets back a reply to the appeal he filed and things are starting to look a little better until after he shows it to Payne and she tells him that he filed the wrong paperwork. The one he filed was an appeal for an already existing claim when he should have filed a grievance that will take a month to get. Oh, man, if I were him, I would have been so tempted to reach across the desk and slap her! Maybe tell these poor people what they need to do! 

We next see a montage of them raising money, and their church and neighbors, despite not having much money either, pitch in and raise money for them. (If ever there was a time for a Go Fund Me, this would be it, but unfortunately they were living in the archaic times of two thousand and two!) One of Denise's friends, who is a waitress, gives her tips to her. John goes to a pawn shop where he sells his wife's engagement ring and they have a garage sale where they sell their TV and car among other things. In the end, they come up with $22,000, which is pretty impressive, but still a long way off from the $75,000 they need.

Unfortunately, the hospital can't wait any more and decide they're going to release Michael. I wasn't quite sure how much time had elapsed since Michael was first admitted to the hospital, maybe a month? John isn't there when this decision is made, so his wife calls him from a pay phone (yes, they were still using pay phones in 2002!) to tell him what's going on and hisses at him to "Do something." Now I'm sure when she told him this, she didn't mean for her husband to take an emergency room hostage (spoiler alert!), but rather try to talk some sense in the doctors and see if they can show a little compassion. To be fair, he does try to talk to the doctor first before he takes a drastic turn. He tells Dr. Turner that he did some research and found out the hospital does 300 surgeries every year which are $250,000 each and that comes out to $75 million and he doesn't understand why they can't perform the surgery on his son in good faith and promises him he will pay the rest of the money back. When the doctor apologizes and tells him he can't do this, John pulls a gun out of his jacket and tells him, "I'm not asking anymore; I'm telling you, you are going to give my son a new heart, do you understand me?" You can tell he really hasn't thought this plan through (or has never done anything like this before!) because he is nervous and doesn't exactly know what to do. The doctor tells him, "If you do this you are on an irreversible course of action."

John ends up bringing him to an emergency room where he locks the doors, breaks the security camera and tells the security guard (played by Ethan Suplee) to shut down the elevators. We get the first great Denzel line of the movie: "Hospital's under new management now: from now on, free health care for everybody."

Along with the doctor and security guard, there's also another young doctor (played by Kevin Connelly), a guy with a bleeding hand, an abusive boyfriend and his girlfriend, a Spanish-speaking mother with her baby, and a pregnant woman and her husband. He also lets a gunshot victim in and lets the young doctor work on him.

Word quickly gets out what is happening at the hospital and a team is quickly assembled outside. Robert DuVall plays Frank Grimes, the hostage negotiator who gets in touch with John. When he asks him if anybody is hurt, John replies, "It's an emergency room; everyone's hurt." When Grimes asks him his name, this is when we get the movie's title as he tells him to call him "John Q". (Can't give away his full name, though, let's be honest, they're going to find out!) John tells Grimes to find Rebecca Payne and to tell her to put his son's name on the donor list. He adds that if his son's name isn't on that list by 4:15, somebody will die. I think that gives them an hour.

John agrees to let a few hostages go and releases the mother and her baby and the pregnant wife and her husband (honestly, I'm surprised he let the husband go, but as we will soon find out, John Q is a stand up guy). When they are released, they tell news crews (by this time there's a whole crowd outside the hospital) that John Q is a "very good man" and they praise him for letting in the man with the gunshot or else he would have died. 

Ray Liotta plays Gus Monroe, the Chief of Police, and he wants to take more drastic measures, despite the fact that John seems to be cooperating with them and Grimes doesn't agree with his tactics. He wants to put a sniper in through the air ducts so he can take a shot at John. Payne is also brought onto the scene and tells Grimes and Monroe, "If you give in to this guy, there's gonna be guns in every hospital." She decides that she's going to lie and tell John's wife that she has decided to put Michael's name on the list and the hospital will pay for everything. Then Denise will tell her husband and he'll let the hostages go.

Of course Denise (who is with her son) is thrilled to hear this (and I think this may be the first time she hears about what her husband is doing?), she calls him to tell him Michael's name is on the list. Somehow, the local news is able to get live video feed of John talking to his wife, then to his son. (And the swarmy news guy says, "This is my white Bronco.") Rebecca is so touched when she sees this that she changes her mind and gives permission for the young boy to actually have his name on the list. This kind of surprised me that she changed her mind as she was portrayed as a cold corporate bitch who wasn't budging one bit...until she was moved to tears. Meanwhile, while John is distracted talking on the phone, the sniper Monroe has sent through the vents takes his aim at an unarmed John, who see's he's on TV right before he gets shot in the arm. He pulls the sniper down and punches him several times. I'm not sure how long it's been since he first took the ER hostage, but I love that he started as a bumbling everyday guy who didn't know what he was doing and now he's this bad ass who's also quickly becoming a hero as we will soon see when he brings out the sniper who he has duct taped his hands behind his back.

Grimes tells him, "Nobody wants to kill you" and an angry John yells "What is this?" and throws the sniper's rifle towards the lieutenant. By this time an even bigger crowd has gathered and they are cheering for John. They cheer in the right spots and they boo in the right spots (like when John shows the gun after Grimes tells him they're not trying to kill him.) We get a little foreshadowing as Grimes tells hm, "There's only two ways out for you: jail or dead." Without spoiling too much (or maybe I'm spoiling a lot!), one of those two things will happen. We then get what is perhaps the most Denzeliest line from this film, which was in all the trailers: before he lets the sniper go, he declares, "I am NOT going to bury my son; my son is going to bury ME!" I mean, even if you've never seen this movie, I'm sure you can hear Denzel say it. That line reminds me when he says, "We didn't land on Plymouth Rock; Plymouth Rock landed on us!" in Malcolm X. Probably because it has a similar structure and it's another iconic Denzel line that's said in a very Denzel-ish way. (I mean, if anyone can say their lines in the most Denzel-ish way, it's Denzel Washington!)

John's demands are that he want his son brought to the ER and he will let the hostages go. This is agreed upon and they prepare to receive the young boy. When John said he wanted his son to bury him, he was thinking the next day, apparently, because his plan is to kill himself and have his heart be given to his son. Dude, that's very noble, but a TERRIBLE idea. As the two doctors tell him, there are too many risk factors like bloody type, chest cavity measurements, and both blood tissues must be compatible. John tells them that they're both B positive, their tissues match, and his heart should fit since his son's heart is three times the normal size. I still think this is a terrible idea and there's still the slight chance his heart won't be compatible for his son and then he will have died for nothing. This is when the hostages find out that John's gun only had one bullet in it and he was never planning on killing anyone except for himself (interesting he had that suicide plan all along, but I guess it makes sense because he had to make sure his son got a heart one way or the other).

So John is lying down (not sure why), ready to shoot himself, but he first decides he's thirsty and needs a drink of water. Really, what does it matter if he's thirsty if he's going to be dead in a few minutes? Obviously, they're trying to prolong the moment and make it as dramatic as possible because while this is going on, the doctor who was staying with Michael receives a fax that a brand new heart that fits the criteria for Michael perfectly has just been harvested from a young woman who died in a car accident. I should back up here and say this is how the movie opens: we see a young, well-to-do woman driving her fancy BMW in Montana, I think. She's driving super fast through the curvy, mountainous roads and at one point she passes a truck in an obvious no-passing zone and while she's passing him, surprise, surprise, another truck appears in the view. Now this moron had plenty of time to pass the truck and get back in her lane and hopefully learn her lesson that it's not a good idea to pass cars on roads like these. Oh, she will learn her lesson, all right, but just more in the deadly way. I think she is able to pass the truck, but barely and her car gets clipped and spins in the other lane and she is hit by the oncoming semi. I don't mean to be callous or anything, but the dumb bitch kinda deserved it. Also, where is she going that she's in a hurry to get to? And why is she so dressed up? She appears to be in the middle of Nowhere, USA. I was very confused when I was watching this scene; I had no idea how she was internal to the plot, but once she was hit, I figured it out. I don't think you need this scene; especially not as the opening to the movie!

When Denise is informed about the heart, she calls her husband on the walkie, telling him she needs to talk to him, but he doesn't want to respond because he doesn't want to change his mind. I'm yelling at the screen, "Tell him you found a heart!!!" I found it a little bit weird that nobody is trying to stop him while he's "preparing" to kill himself. While there are people who don't agree with what he's doing, nobody is actively trying to stop him. In a very, very tense moment, he pulls the trigger with the gun pointed to his head, but oops-a-daisy! The safety is on. I mean, whew, right?

We see his wife outside the building and she's screaming something (presumably they found a heart), then in the very next scene we see a bunch of doctors, including John who is dressed up in scrubs. It's a weird scene because we don't see his reaction when he learns that 1), a heart has been found for his son, and 2), he doesn't have to kill himself after all. I guess they wanted it to be a surprise for the audience to see if he had pulled the trigger before it was too late. I personally would have rather seen his reaction as I figured he wasn't going to die. It didn't seem like that kind of movie; this is a guy you're rooting for, after all, they're not going to kill off the hero in such a horrible way.

The surgery is performed and the organ fits Michael perfectly so he now has a healthy heart. The ending of the movie shows John in court. We see all his hostages who are there to support him and most most likely gave witness statements. He is found not guilty of attempted murder and armed criminal action, but is found guilty of kidnapping and false imprisonment. I'm not sure what the sentence is, but his lawyer tells him she will try to get it down to two years. I'm thinking since everyone is on his side, it will be even less than that. But I guess they gotta show that he needs to do the time as he did commit a crime cuz you just can't hold everyone at gunpoint in a hospital even if your intentions are noble.

I'm not sure how realistic this movie is (something tells me not very) and it definitely is very emotionally manipulative, but it's a fun throwback early 2000s Denzel movie to watch.

Speaking of 2000s Denzel movies, I will be reviewing a few more this week, so I hope you enjoy those! I guarantee you will like them! 

An Offer You Can't Refuse

The Godfather

Director: Francis Ford Coppola

Cast: Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, James Caan, Diane Keaton, Robert Duvall, Talia Shire

Released: March 24, 1972

Oscar nominations:

Best Picture (won)

Best Director - Francis Ford Coppola (lost to Bob Fosse for Cabaret)

Best Actor - Marlon Brando (won)

Best Supporting Actor - Al Pacino (lost to Joel Grey for Cabaret)

Best Supporting Actor - Robert Duvall

Best Supporting Actor - James Caan

Best Adapted Screenplay - Mario Puzo and Francis Ford Coppola (won)

Best Costume Design (lost to Travels With My Aunt)

Best Editing (lost to Cabaret)

Best Sound (lost to Cabaret)

*It should be mentioned that the score by Nino Rota was originally nominated, but was deemed ineligible and was replaced by the score from Sleuth. This was because Rota had already used portions of this score for a 1958 movie called Fortunella. *

The Godfather Part II

Director: Francis Ford Coppola

Cast: Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Diane Keaton, Robert Duvall, Talia Shire, John Cazale, Lee Strasberg

Released: December 20, 1974

Oscar nominations:

Best Picture (won)

Best Director - Francis Ford Coppola (won)

Best Actor - Al Pacino (lost to Art Carney for Harry and Tonto)

Best Supporting Actor - Robert De Niro (won)
Best Supporting Actor - Lee Strasberg

Best Supporting Actor - Michael V. Gazzo

Best Supporting Actress - Talia Shire (lost to Ingrid Bergman for Murder On the Orient Express)

Best Adapted Screenplay - Mario Puzo and Francis Ford Coppola (won)

Best Art Direction/Set Decoration (won)

Best Costume Design (lost to The Great Gatsby)

Best Score - Nino Rota and Carmine Coppola (won)

The Godfather Part III

Director: Francis Ford Coppola

Cast: Al Pacino, Diane Keaton, Talia Shire, Andy Garcia, Sofia Coppola

Released: December 25, 1990

Oscar nominations:

Best Picture (lost to Dances With Wolves)

Best Director - Francis Ford Coppola (lost to Kevin Costner for Dances With Wolves)

Best Supporting Actor - Andy Garcia (lost to Joe Pesci for Goodfellas)

Best Art Direction/Set Decoration (lost to Dick Tracy)

Best Cinematography (lost to Dances With Wolves)

Best Editing (lost to Dances With Wolves)

Best Original Song - "Promise Me You'll Remember" by Carmine Coppola and John Bettis (lost to "Sooner or Later (I Always Get My Man") by Stephen Sondheim for Dick Tracy)

***Spoiler warning for all three movies***

I'm going to say something that might anger a lot of movie aficionados: I don't care for most movies from a certain era. This "era" includes from the inception of film making to the sixties. Now I'll be the first to admit that I haven't seen many movies from these decades (you may notice that many of the movies I review are from the eighties, nineties, aughties, and whatever the heck you call this decade), so perhaps it's not fair for me to make that judgement. But every time I watch (or try to watch!) a movie from the distant past, I have such a hard time getting into it. There are a few exceptions to this. I really liked Bonnie and Clyde (1967) and 12 Angry Men (1957). And even though I'm not gaga over Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961) and Citizen Kane (1941), I can appreciate their places in pop culture relevancy. I actually came to appreciate Tiffany's a lot more when I tried watching My Fair Lady (1964). I couldn't even finish that one! All About Eve (1950) is another one I couldn't finish. I've seen Casablanca (1942) and eh. I wasn't impressed. Yeah, it gives us that great line, but I really didn't see the big deal. (I'm just really asking to be murdered by a cinephile, aren't I?) And there are other movies from this era that I've seen that I don't care for. Oh! How could I forget? I really don't like one of the most beloved movies of our time, The Wizard of Oz (1939). It's been more than a minute (or a decade or two!) since I've seen it, but I think my dislike for this film is inherited from my mom who hilariously hates this movie (she said she had to watch it a lot when she was a kid and in turned started to hate it) and also, I lived in Kansas when I was a kid/teenager so I have heard many of the stupid jokes about "I don't think you're in Kansas anymore."Ugh! Everyone who ever said that to me thought they were being SO CLEVER! So yeah, now I've probably pissed off a lot of people....but don't worry, you'll be getting some good news in a bit.

You're probably wondering where the '70s fits into this (actually, you're probably wondering when I'm going to start the damn review!) as I don't count it among the decades of filmmaking I don't care for and I also haven't reviewed too many movies from that decade. Well, I hope to change that soon. As much as I hate '70s fashion (bell bottoms? ugh!), '70s music (disco? It's the WORST!), and '70s decor (orange shag carpet? Whoever thought that was a good idea?), I think the '70s has some great films and to me, that's the first decade where I truly love the majority of the films (and even though I haven't seen as many movies from the '70s than from the '80s til the present, I have seen many more films from the '70s than from any before it). Obviously you have the rise of Steven Spielberg and Jaws (1975) which is considered the first blockbuster and you have Star Wars (1977) which, while I don't really care about those movies, has been one of the biggest franchises of all time, if not the biggest. Already I've just named two movies and already this decade is way more impressive in terms of filmmaking than any decade before it. Oh, and let's just add The Godfather and it's sequel (1972, 1974) and it pretty much cements the '70s as the first truly great decade in film history. That's okay if you don't agree with me, but rejoice, film aficionados and cinephiles! You don't have to kill me! I love The Godfather movies! (Well, the first two...the third was okay, but we'll get to that later). 

Seeing as all three movies are either almost three hours long or over three hours, it took me about four days to get through all of them, but it was an engrossing experience as I knew I was in the thralls of what is considered to be two of the best movies ever made in the history of film (and the third one was still pretty enjoyable for what it is). It was like finding the Holy Grail of movies. I'm not saying this is my new favorite movie, but wow! It was so good! I was just in awe watching them. I get why people love these movies and rave about them. I get why they've won so many accolades. I get why the first one is ranked #1 (or 2 or 3) on many Best Movies Of All Time lists. The only movies that ever seem to get ahead of it on these lists are Citizen Kane and/or Casablanca, and like I've mentioned before, I don't much care for those films. The American Film Institute ranked it the second greatest movie of all time behind Citizen Kane.

Yes, believe it or not I had never seen The Godfather trilogy. I admit, the length was a big factor in that. I just never had time to really sit down and watch all of them and knowing they were all around three hours just seemed like a huge chore, but I was able to find time to set aside a couple hours each day to watch them. I also wasn't sure if I would like them. I'm not the biggest fan of the mafia/mob genre. Besides Goodfellas (which I really love), I really haven't seen many films depicting it. I watched The Sopranos (and I could tell it was very influenced by The Godfather), but it was never a favorite show of mine. Hell, I still haven't seen the last season to this day! I was very aware of The Godfather in pop culture history, how could you not be? It has been parodied countless times in other movies and TV shows. (Zootopia comes to mind). I was very aware of the horse head scene and I knew "I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse" (which is the second most iconic movie line after "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn" from Gone With the Wind according to AFI's 100 Greatest Movie Quotes). It also gives us the well-known mantras "It's not personal, it's business" and "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer", although I don't think they originated from the films or the 1969 novel by Mario Puza the first film is based on, but I'm sure it helped make them popular. It also helped popularize the phase, "sleeping with the fishes."

The first movie opens with Don Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando), the head of one of the Five Families, a powerful New York mob family granting requests on this, the day of his daughter's wedding. He has a cat in his lap who is just loving the pats and scratches and belly rubs it's getting from the Godfather. We meet the Corleone family. There's oldest son, Santino, who goes by Sonny (James Caan); second oldest son, Fredo (John Cazale); youngest son, Michael (Al Pacino); and youngest, his daughter, Connie (Talia Shire). Oh, and he's also married to a woman named Carmela, but she's pretty much a non-factor. In fact, I had to look up her name. She has a couple scenes in the movie. We also meet Vito's lawyer and adopted son, Tom Hagen (Robert Duvall). I did not recognize Duvall at all...I knew he was in this movie and kept looking for him and just figured he had a small part and I just missed it, but no, he's a major character and it wasn't until after I looked him up that I realized who he was!

Michael brings his girlfriend, Kay (Diane Keaton), to the wedding. I knew Diane Keaton was in this movie, but I did not recognize her at all! Yeah, this movie came out 46 years ago, but I have seen Annie Hall and that was released a few years after this one and she looks like Diane Keaton in that. I'm used to Diane Keaton looking like...Diane Keaton and I did not recognize her at all! It wasn't until I was well into the movie and had already seen the other two women in the movie who clearly weren't her as they were both Italian and dark-haired, that I realized the young fair-haired woman we were introduced to early in the movie was indeed her! 

So I already mentioned the infamous horse head scene but I was NOT expecting it to happen so soon! Something like that, I thought for sure there would be a build-up to it, but no, it happens just a little over half an hour into this nearly three hour saga! The poor horse was killed because of some Frank Sinatra wannabe named Johnny Fontane who sings at Connie's wedding and who all the girls and older women fawn over him like he's the Beatles or Elvis or One Direction. He wants out of his recording contract and his Godfather is able to make that happen. When a movie executive refuses to put Fontane in one of his movies, he wakes up to find his beloved $600,000 racehorse's head in his bed. I had always assumed the head was on the pillow next to his, but he wakes up to find himself in a pool of blood (a LOT of blood) and follows the trail to the foot of his bed where the head is and has the reaction I think anyone in his situation would have: he screams in horror and anguish. As horrible as this scene is in the context of the movie, I think the behind-the-scenes story is almost worse. First of all, it's a real horse's head. Ugh. Now I understand why the actor screamed like that! I would need years of therapy! I did not know about this until after I saw the movie. I just figured the horse head was donated to them after a horse died of old age or natural causes, but no...it's much worse than that. It's pretty horrific, actually. Probably just as horrific as you know, decapitating a horse after you kill it. Coppola got the horse head from a dog food company. Yes, there was once upon a time when they slaughtered horses for dog food. What the f*** kind of s*** it that? Not cool, Frank. As far as I know, that no longer happens, but you can bet I marched over to my cat's cat food to read the ingredients and was relieved to see the only protein listed was chicken. There is no way in hell you could film this scene in today with a real head, even if the animal had died of old age or natural causes. So yeah, pretty disturbing.

Despite playing the titular character, Marlon Brando wasn't in the movie very much. He's only in it for less than an hour. He gets shot early on in the movie by a drug trafficker named Sollozzo after he refuses to go into business with him. He survives the assassination attempt, but spends time in the hospital. After a corrupt cop named McClusky, who's on Sollozzo's pay roll, pops Michael in the jaw, Michael decides he's going to get revenge on them, and kill them. He also knows if they're not killed first, they're going to come after his father because they know he survived the assassination attempt. There is a meeting set up under the guise of a truce because after the assassination attempt on their father, hothead oldest son Sonny had a hit put out on one of Sollozzo's allies. (There was a lot of plot to follow!) The only way to do this is find a hiding spot for his gun at the restaurant they'll be at since he'll be frisked beforehand. He's given advice from Sonny and Clemenza, his father's right-hand man, on how the hit should go down. The advice he gets includes "two shots a piece in the head as soon as you come out" [of the restroom] and for him to drop the gun and "walk fast, but don't run." Clemenza is not amused when he asks Michael, "You shot them both, what do you do?" and Michael replies, "Sit down, finish my dinner." When he's at the restaurant, he's staring intently at the wine opener the waiter is using and I really thought it was going to come into play. Either he wasn't going to find the gun in the bathroom where they decided it would be hidden in a toilet tank and have to improvise with the wine opener or he was just going to snap and grab it from the waiter and puncture the men's necks with it. But that doesn't happen. When he goes into the bathroom, he finds the hidden gun, but instead of immediately shooting the men as he was directed, he sits back down at the table and I wondered if he had changed his mind. But no, as Sollozzo is talking to him, you can see the anger raging in him and he shoots them both in the head (and the police officer also gets it in the throat) and the table flips over. The waiter is standing right next to the table and blood gets all over his uniform and he just takes a step back, with his arms behind his back. It's very odd. He doesn't scream or look scared. The other extras in this scene just sort of slip out the back door while Michael briskly walks out the door.

The men he killed were connected to one of the other Five Families (and I'm sure somewhere out there, someone has a detailed family tree of these mafia families!) and he is taken somewhere he'll be (supposedly) safe. Picture it: Sicily, 1945. (How much do you want to bet Sophia Petrillo loves The Godfather?) He's staying there under the protection of his father's friend, Don Tammasino. He meets and falls in love with a beautiful young woman named Apollonia and they get married. This has to be the smallest village ever because after he sees her, he and a couple guys he was with go to an outdoor cafe and while they tell the guy who owns the cafe about the girl, we find out that she's his daughter and he's not happy they're talking about her like that! But through a translator, Michael wins him over and asks him if he can introduce him to his daughter. The marriage doesn't last very long as the bad guys have found out where Michael is and a car bomb that was intended for him, kills his first wife instead and he heads back to New York after being in Sicily for a couple of years. We never do see any fallout from her father. She could have easily been a forgotten character, but she is brought up in the third movie when Michael mentions her to his grown children. That's kind of a messed up thing to do. "Hey, kids, I was married to another woman before I married your mother, but she was killed. Otherwise, if she hadn't died, I would still be with her and you two would never exist." So yes, Michael ends up marrying Kay when returning to New York, but he doesn't approach her until he's been back for a year and they just sort of pick up where they left off, even though Kay had no idea where he was or that he was married. Their son, Anthony, is born a few years later.

Connie is married to an abusive man and Sonny beats him up. When it happens again (and there are dishes being smashed and belts being lashed and furniture being turned over), Sonny heads out to help his sister, but ends up being shot at when he tries to go through the toll, but his car is blocked and he's unable to get through as the men riddle his car (not to mention Sonny himself!) with bullets. This was all a plot by one of the heads from one of the Five Families who got Connie's husband to wile her up so she would call Sonny for help and then they could trap and kill him. Of course Connie's husband will later be killed in retribution, making Connie none too pleased with Michael, who ordered the hit.

Vito, who is now recovered, calls for an emergency meeting between the Five Families and wants a peace offering. Because of this, Michael is able to return to the United States without fear of retaliation. The film will jump forward in time a few years without telling us. (They're much better about that in the second movie). All of a sudden, Marlon Brando is in old man make-up and he's playing with his grandson in an orange grove where he will eventually keel over and die. Oranges play a pivotal role in these movies: whenever you see one, a character will die or almost get killed in that scene or maybe a few scenes later. I have to admit, I honestly didn't notice it until the second movie, but when I went back and revisited some scenes, then I definitely noticed. Just keep your eyes peeled for oranges whenever you watch any of The Godfather movies (although, I swear in the third movie, sometimes there are oranges in a scene and nothing significant happens). Because of the deaths of his father and older brother, Michael is now the head of the Corleone household.

While I don't know which scene in The Godfather is the most iconic, I would have to assume it's one of the last scenes where Michael is at the church baring witness to his sister's baby being baptized while a multitude of murders are going on. Pretty much Michael is making sure he's turning on his foes before they turn on him. While the baptism is going on, we see the other heads of the mafia families being killed. Probably the most memorable death is that of one Moe Greene, the bespectacled Las Vegas casino owner who refused to sell his shares to Michael. He is shot in the eye (through the lens of his glasses) as he's getting a massage and a lot of blood spurts out. Pretty impressive how they did that. Although I have to give major props for the guy who died on the steps and rolled down them. That got a chuckle out of me. That was some great acting there. The baby we see getting baptized is none other than future Oscar-nominated director Sofia Coppola (aka the director's daughter). She was only a couple weeks old when they filmed that scene and she was born in May of 1971, so that should give you a timeline of when the movie was filmed. I'm sure many people would agree that her performance in this movie is much better than her performance in the third movie...oh, we'll get to that in due time!

Time to move on to The Godfather Part II. Some people like the first movie the best, some people prefer the second to the first. Never is the third movie in this conversation. (Wonder if there's anyone out there who does like the third more than the first two?) While I think there are great scenes in the first movie, I think I may like the second a bit better because by this time I was more invested in the movie and I was more familiar with the characters. But then again, there are some great scenes in the first movie and you have that iconic performance by Marlon Brando. Yeah, this is tough. The second movie is the longest at three hours and twenty-two minutes. (The first one is three minutes shy of being three hours and the third one is ten minutes shy of being three hours. Dang, these are really long movies!) In a way, Part II is like watching two movies interwoven into each other: one starring Al Pacino and the other starring Robert De Niro. The movie is so long that there was actually an intermission break after two hours! Seriously, after the scene ended, this cue card came on that said "Intermission". I have never seen a movie have an intermission, not even Titanic which is the same amount of time (five minutes less!) and I saw that in the theaters three times! This movie is the first sequel to win an Oscar, something that won't happen again until 2004 when the third Lord of the Rings movie won.

It's 1958 and Michael and his family are living in a lake house near Lake Tahoe in Nevada and his children are grade school age, young Anthony just having celebrated his First Communion. Early on in the movie, an assassination attempt it made on Michael when bullets come flying through his bedroom window as he's talking to his wife, who is in bed. Nobody is hurt, but Michael will spend the rest of the movie trying to find out who put out a hit on him.

A new major character is that of Hyman Roth, a Jewish investor and business partner of Michael's. He plays into Michael's father's mentality of "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer." He is played by Lee Strasberg, who, I'll admit, I didn't know who that was, but after listening to some podcasts and reading about him, discovered he was a famous acting coach who taught acting method and some of his famous clients included Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Paul Newman, and his co-star, Al Pacino. When we first meet Hyman, he's lounging on a chair with one leg draped over the arm of the seat. I have never seen anyone sit like this in the movies or in real life, but now knowing his background as a method actor, it all makes sense that he would think outside the box. Needless to say, there's some shady stuff going down with Roth. Michael thinks that Roth put the hit out on him, but when Roth tells him that he was a friend of Moe Green's and heard he had been killed, he did not worry about who put the hit out on him, and let it go, insinuating that Michael should do the same. Hyman has a hit out for Michael, but Michael's men kill him first. It turns out that Michael's only surviving brother (for now!), Fredo was the one responsible for the attempted hit on him. "I knew it was you, Fredo...you broke my heart." In Fredo's defense, he says he didn't know about that, but it's too little, too late. Michael has one of his men kill Fredo (a shot to the back of the head while they're fishing in a boat), but not until after their mother has died so she doesn't have to be alive to know about it.

Kay, who is pregnant with what Michael hopes is a son (why does he care when he already has a son?), has lost the baby in a miscarriage, but later, she will reveal to Michael something I think she should have taken to the grave: she tells him she didn't have a miscarriage, but rather an abortion because she didn't want to bring any more children into this family. Well, this makes Michael furious and he slaps Kay in an intense scene. They get divorced, not surprisingly.

There's a lot more things going on during the Michael storyline, including a Senate hearing investigating the Corleone family. Plenty of oranges and murders! While all these scenes are going on, we get some reprieves with the flashbacks to a young Vito Corleone. Yes, we get the Vito Corleone origin story. And it starts at the very beginning with him. We see him as a nine-year-old boy named Vito Andolini who lives in Corleone, Sicily. His father has been murdered by Don Ciccio (pronounced chi-chi-oh!), the main mafia leader after Antonio Andolini insulted him. (Dang, don't insult Ciccio!) Vito's older brother vowed revenge, but also ended getting killed himself. Ciccio has his men fetch Vito because he wants him killed too. His mother begs for his life, telling the crime lord that the child never talks and isn't a threat, but Ciccio doesn't care. I have to say, that he's right. Sure, right now he's a weak nine-year-old kid, but as well know, he'll grow up to be one of the most powerful men in the mafia who will build an impressive empire. And, spoiler alert, he will get his vengeance on Ciccio. Just not right now. Cuz he's only nine. Mama Andolini distracts Ciccio and tells her son to run. He complies, but she is shot. With help, Vito gets on a ship and travels to New York. Because he doesn't talk, his last name becomes Corleone, the place of his birth.

When we see Vito later, he will now be a young man and he's played by Robert De Niro. He was thirty when he filmed this and he looks so young! Even if I didn't know he was in this movie, I would have recognized him. I grew up with '90s and '00 Robert De Niro, so I'm used to him being fifty and older in his movies (think Meet the Parents or Silver Linings Playback De Niro). He does a good job of adopting Brando's mannerisms from the first movie. All the Vito scenes are subtitled in English because the characters are speaking Italian. Vito lives in Little Italy (where else?) with a family that are distant relatives of his. This is where he meets Genco, who he will eventually start an olive oil company with called Genco Pura. (Mmm, olive oil). He gets a job as a grocer at Genco's father store, but understands when he has to be fired because a man named Fanucci, who has a lot of power and is able to get his way, wants his son to have the job. We see how Vito meets Clemenza and Tessio who are both important figures in the first movie and become important allies for Vito. They start an illegal operation and Fanucci gets wind of this and demand that Vito and his men cut him in for a profit or he will go to the police. Vito will hide in a dark shadow of Fanucci's apartment and kill him with a towel. Well, a gun wrapped inside a towel. Before Fanucci will meet his demise, he will grab an orange from a market. Should've gotten an apple, Fanucci.

Speaking of people who Vito will get his revenge on, remember good old Ciccio? He's a much older man, but he's still alive (for now) when Vito goes back to Sicily twenty-two years later under the guise of selling his olive oil to him. When the hard-of-hearing Ciccio asks his name, Vito replies, "Vito Corleone" and when he asks who his father is, he has to tell him twice that it's Antonio Andolini because Ciccio didn't hear him the first time. As he leans closer to tell him, he knifes him in the stomach, cutting him diagonally as he say, "And this is for you!" Yep, Ciccio was smart in wanting to kill Vito when he was a young boy so this wouldn't happen to him!

Time to move on to The Godfather Part III which came out sixteen years after Part II and is set in 1979. I was kind of surprised to find out it was nominated for Best Picture (even though it didn't win like the first two did) because whenever The Godfather trilogy is brought up, people HATE this movie and talk about how awful it is and how it can't be counted as a perfect trilogy because this movie brings it down. I do agree it's not as good and doesn't have the same pedigree as its predecessors, but honestly, I didn't think it was that bad. Of course, I was expecting for something really awful, but it was still an enjoyable stand alone movie. I think it has my favorite Al Pacino line from any of The Godfather movies which is, "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!" This movie came out the same year as fellow gangster flick, Goodfellas, also nominated for Best Picture. That movie was much better than this one.

While I didn't think the movie was as bad as everyone made it out to be, I did have to agree that Sofia Coppola was awful in it. This was something I often heard in regards to this movie, and hoo boy, they weren't lying. "Sofia Coppla was really good in Godfather 3," said no one ever. I totally blame this on the director, what was he thinking putting his eighteen (nineteen?) year old daughter in this? I guess Winona Ryder was originally supposed to have the part, but she dropped out to be in Edward Scissorhands. While there were other actresses who expressed interest in playing the role, they were on a tight schedule and Sofia was the only one available...or something. I'm not quite sure about the whole story. Maybe Francis Ford Coppola had his father glasses on and his children can do no wrong in his eyes, but did he not see how awful his daughter was in this movie? Her voice and delivery are flat, she has no emotion, just everything about her acting is terrible. Well, I thought she was good in one scene, but I'll get to that later. (And you'll think I'm so mean!) I have enjoyed Sofia's movies she's directed, so she does have talent...acting just isn't it! I do feel bad for Sofia because she was so young and she got a lot of flak for this. That's gotta be hard. FFC is no stranger to casting his family in his movies. Talia Shire, who plays Connie in all three movies, is his sister.

I should probably mention that Sofia plays Michael and Kay's daughter, Mary. Yes, Diane Keaton is back too and they're still divorced, but on more friendly terms. There's this really creepy and icky subplot involving Mary where she falls for her cousin, Vincent (Andy Garcia) who is the illegitimate son of Sonny and a woman he hooked up with at his sister's wedding. They are flirting with each other and when they start making out with each other after what is supposed to be a sensual scene of him guiding her hands to make gnocchi (think Ghost with the pottery), I thought I had misunderstood the scene of them earlier where they're talking about "the old days" with their fathers and something else entirely had come out of their mouths or when they called each other "cousin" or "cuz", that was a term of endearment in Italian. I was thinking, THEY CANNOT ACTUALLY BE FIRST COUSINS AND MAKING OUT! THAT IS DISGUSTING! Seriously, I almost threw up in my mouth a little when they say, "I love you cous" and start kissing. By the way, how embarrassing would that be to have your dad direct you in a make-out scene?  I totally thought I had misunderstood this whole business of them being cousins! But, no, they ARE first cousins as her father points out (thanks for clearing that up, Al) later on. When Michael says, "He's your first cousin," she replies, "Then I love him first." GROAN. And, ewwww. Was this acceptable back in the '70s? Is this an Italian thing? I don't get it! While he does say it's a no-no since they are cousins, he seems more concerned that it's too dangerous, you know, since Vincent has family connections. Vincent does agree to stop seeing Mary and when we see that scene, are we supposed to feel sad they're not going to be together? Cuz I sure as hell don't! I don't care that she's boo hoo hoo-ing and sad. Girl, go meet somebody who isn't related to you and shares your blood! Ewww! Seriously, if I were in a movie where my character was in love with her first cousin, I would tell the director (especially if it was my own dad!), "Uh, you sure about this?"

Anyway...as with any Godfather movie, there are one or two (or three or four) death scenes, but some of them are way over the top. One of the earlier ones feels like it came out of a Die Hard movie. Michael is in a fancy conference room with other mob bosses and a helicopter starts gunning them down from the ceiling...its quite ridiculous. One idiot dies cuz he's trying to get his lucky coat off a hook. Don't think that coat is lucky anymore. Of course the only people who get out alive are the two main characters. There's also an assassination attempt on Michael when the whole family (including Kay) are in Sicily to see Anthony (their son, remember) perform at an opera. Anthony has decided to be an opera singer for whatever reason. The opera is called Cavalleria Rusticana and it looks like the most boring opera ever. It looks very religious and long and weird and boring. Seriously, I wish someone would shoot me if I were watching that! It's not until after the opera when everyone is outside that Michael is shot at, but his shoulder is grazed and instead Mary gets hit in the chest and falls on the stairs. This is when Sofia has her best scene: when she's lying dead on the steps, not breathing. (Heh, I told you it was mean!) Michael gives a chilling reaction to his daughter's death. He later dies as an old man. Okay, the more I think about it, the more this movie isn't that great and I take back what I said about it being not as bad as I thought it was. It is pretty bad. Except for the one Al Pacino line I like.

So yes, while Part III brings the overall score of the Godfather movies down a peg, the first two movies are quite a cinematic achievement and I have to wonder what it would be like to see it in the theaters when it was released. 

It's the End of the World As We Know It

Armageddon

Director: Michael Bay

Cast: Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, Billy Bob Thornton, Steve Buscemi, Jason Isaacs, Michael Clarke Duncan, Owen Wilson

Released: July 1, 1998

Oscar nominations:

Best Sound (lost to Saving Private Ryan)

Best Sound Effects Editing (lost to Saving Private Ryan)

Best Visual Effects (lost to What Dreams May Come)

Best Song - Dianne Warren for "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" (lost to Stephen Schwartz for "When You Believe" from The Prince of Egypt)

Deep Impact

Director: Mimi Leder

Cast: Tea Leoni, Morgan Freeman, Robert Duvall, Elijah Wood, Leelee Sobieski, Vanessa Redgrave, James Cromwell, Maximilian Schell

Released: May 8, 1998

Spoilers, obviously!

Remember in 1998 when two movies about asteroids hurtling towards Earth to destroy all mankind were released within months of each other? Those movies were Armageddon and Deep Impact and I'm going to review them both because it just makes sense to do them at the same time! I'm not going to make you wait with bated breath and I'll just come out and say it now: I don't really care for either one. If I had to recommend one, I'd probably say Deep Impact, but ONLY because it's half an hour shorter (but still long....Armageddon is TWO AND A HALF HOURS LONG (but yet feels longer!)) and at least I didn't get sick watching Deep Impact as the cuts in Armageddon only last about a second. In fact, I read the IMDb trivia for that movie and they said the average cut lasted about 1.5 seconds! It was like, Cut to Bruce Willis! Now to Ben Affleck! Now to Liv Tyler! Now back to Willis! Oh, we need to see Tyler again! Oh, wait, don't forget Affleck! This was pretty much the entire movie (with the other actors throw in, too of course). I felt like this movie was made by someone with ADD! However, I would recommend this one over Deep Impact if someone was looking for something to watch with friends and just get drunk and made fun of something because this movie is absolutely ridiculous (another piece of trivia I learned via IMDb is that (and I hope this is true!) NASA shows this movie as part of their management training program and asks new managers to spot as many mistakes as they can and the most number spotted has been 168!) and has more funnier moments than Deep Impact (mostly unintentionally!), which is the more serious film. While I immensely disliked Armageddon, I don't think it's Michael Bay's worst movie, which is saying something! That's when you know I really hate other movies of his! 

The premise of Armageddon is that an asteroid, the size of Texas, is hurtling towards Earth and there is only eighteen days to stop it. (There's even an ominous countdown clock!) If it hits, all life on Earth, as we know it, will be wiped out. There's only one man for the job and his name is Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis). Is Harry the best NASA has ever seen? No, because his field of expertise isn't even in astronomy. He's an oil driller. Yep. You heard me. But he's just not any oil driller, he's the BEST deep-sea oil driller in the world! Six billion people on the planet and he was the one they called. NASA scientist Dan Truman (Billy Bob Thornton) wants to split the asteroid in two (so then we'll have two asteroids the size of Colorado?) and divert them away from Earth.

"Mr. Wizard". Heh!

Truman introduces Stamper to his team of eight astronauts who have been learning to drill for the past eight months in preparation for the mission. Stamper is not impressed with them or the "piss poor" production of his rig they put together. Jason Isaacs plays another NASA scientist who helped put the rig together and Stamper calls him "Mr. Wizard". Um, hello! He is a wizard! He's purebred wizard, Lucius Malfoy! That made me LOL when he said that. Stamper claims he's the best driller in the world (just because you say it over and over doesn't mean it's true!) because he WORKS with the best and he wants his own men up there with him. Haha, I read on the IMDb trivia that Ben Affleck told Michael Bay, "Wouldn't it be easier for NASA to train astronauts to drill rather than training drillers to be astronauts?" and Bay told him to shut up. But he's right! It makes so much more sense that way! If this is true (and I'm sure it is), I bet Bay put in that line where Stamper asks Truman, "All they gotta do is drill? No spacewalking? No crazy astronaut stuff?" after he had that conversation with Affleck just so the audience wouldn't be thinking the same thing he did cuz he knew they would!

So Stamper rounds up his rag tag team of oil drillers. Even though they're the best team of oil drillers a man could have, they're all pretty much a bunch of imbeciles and dopes. I honestly don't remember any of the characters' name and even when I looked them up online, they still didn't register with me, so I'll just call them by their actors' names. Steve Buscemi plays a horny guy; Michael Clark Duncan's character is a big, burly guy who looks intimidating, but deep down, he's really sensitive and just a big teddy bear; Owen Wilson plays a dim-witted rancher who's also a geologist. Will Patton plays a gambler who lost his wife (or girlfriend?) because of that and never got to have a relationship with his son. (Spoiler alert: he will at the end of the movie). And there's other characters played by not as famous people.

Also on Harry's team is AJ (Ben Affleck) who happens to be dating Harry's daughter, Grace (Liv Tyler) and this does not please Harry. Harry raised his daughter her whole life and she grew up on the oil rig with him and the other men that work for him. She calls her father by his first name and it's so blatant how they shove it down your throat because, literally, in every line Grace speaks to her father, she ends it with his name. Such as, "I've been seeing AJ for five months, HARRY." Or "What about having a life, HARRY." Or "Who is the hypocrite here, HARRY?" Or "You listen to me, HARRY!" It's like, we get it, Michael Bay, she doesn't call her father "Dad" and they don't have a close relationship. Her mother left when she was really young and she was raised by a bunch of "roughnecks". A couple of the guys even tell Harry, THEIR BOSS, about what a "hottie" and a "babe" Grace has grown into. Really, what kind of moron would you have to be to speak that way about your boss's daughter? So stupid. And what makes it even grosser is that the comment is made that they all helped raise her, so they're all, in a way, father figures to Grace. So, eww. (To be fair, it was only Buscemi, Wilson, and the fat guy commenting on how hot she is, but still...)

This movie has probably what is the worst scene ever in the history of cinema. It is so bad and cringe- worthy. If you've seen this movie, you know what I'm talking about, don't you. I just have two words for you: Animal. Crackers. OMG, that scene is SOOOOOOOO bad! SO, SO, SO BAD! As if that scene isn't bad enough, Grace then asks AJ, "Do you think it's possible somebody else is doing the same exact thing somewhere else right now?" No, Liv Tyler, I really doubt nobody else is playing with animal crackers on their significant other's body right now! Aurgh, that scene is so stupid!!

The men agree to destroy the asteroid because they can't say no to their boss who tells them they can't refuse the U.S. Government in asking for their help to save the planet. There is an amusing scene where Stamper reads a list of requests from his employees to Truman about what they want if they complete and accomplish their mission. This includes having speeding tickets wiped from their record, being able to stay at the White House, and never having to paying taxes again. I mean, who can blame them? If you were tasked with having to save the world, you would want something out of it too! I would certainly be expected to be owed big time!

They have about fifteen days to train to go into space. William Fichtner plays one of the people who is in charge of training them and when we get a shot of the crew walking in slow motion, he exclaims, "Talk about the wrong stuff!" which made me groan. This includes getting physical exams, getting psych evaluations, flying in fighter jets to get used to traveling at fast speeds, training to know what it's like to be in space. They keep the fact that a huge asteroid is about to strike Earth a secret because they don't want mass hysteria and panic to ensue, which I understand. But about six days before the mission, a chunk of the asteroid hits East Asia and kills 50,000 people in Shanghai with a huge tidal wave. Then Paris gets hits soon after and now the entire world knows what's going on and about the mission. There is an unsettling scene at the beginning of the movie when New York is hit and you see one of the World Trade Center buildings with a gaping hole through it...a little too real to life.

The men go up in space and there's lots of action and quick jump cuts. A few of them die. But then we get to the point where one of them has to sacrifice themselves and AJ draws the short end of the stick for that (literally). However, Harry tricks him and takes his place, telling him to take care of his daughter. By this time he has approved of Grace and AJ being together. This makes AJ upset. I can understand he doesn't want Harry sacrificing his life because he is his fiancee's father (oh, did I mention AJ asked Grace to marry him and she said yes?), but did he really want to sacrifice his own life when he had a fiancee waiting for him? Dumbass. And let's be honest, Grace would much rather have him come back than her father. Okay, maybe that's a little cold-hearted to say. There was a scene that got me a little teary-eyed when Harry is saying goodbye to his daughter who can see and talk to him via a screen at NASA headquarters.

Harry sacrifices himself to save humanity, so he really should have a planet named after him. In fact, they should have just renamed Earth "Stamper". I mean, the dude scarified himself to save not only the entire human race, but the entire ecosystem on earth. If anyone should not have to pay taxes for the rest of their lives, it's Grace...and AJ since he is getting married to her. The movie ends with their wedding. Cue the Aerosmith song...you know the one!

Armageddon was the bigger success at the box office between the two movies which isn't a surprise because it did have the bigger stars and had more of a budget so it was more glossier. The first hour of Deep Impact is really boring, but the second hour gets more interesting with its premise, although I don't think they executed it as well as they could have. I think Deep Impact would have been better as a mini series than a two hour movie. With this movie, you're getting four different perspectives from four different characters. The character we get the most focus on is an MSNBC journalist Jenny Lerner (Tea Leoni - yes, I know there's an accent over the "e" and her name is "Tay-a" and not "tea", but I don't know how to add on the accent!) This is a woman in her mid-30s who is acting like a petulant child because her parents (Vanessa Redgrave and Maximilian Schell) are divorced. To make matters worse, her father is getting married to a woman only two years older than Jenny herself. Jenny is investigating what she thinks is an affair the Secretary of Treasury (James Cromwell) is having with a woman when he suddenly resigns. But after doing some research, she realizes she mistook what she heard as a woman's name, "Ellie" for "E.L.E." which stands for "Extinction Level Event." Morgan Freeman plays the President and he is way more presidential than the President in Armageddon. After Jenny finds out there's an asteroid (and this one is only the size of NYC, so it has nothing on the Armageddon asteroid! Cuz Bay does it bigger and better!), the President tells the American public that it is projected to hit the earth within a year and that he has assembled a team of astronauts (this time the are fully prepared astronauts and not just oil drillers!) to stop the comet. Even though it is significantly smaller than the asteroid in Armageddon, it is still big enough to cause extinction. For the past eight months, the United States and Russia have been building the largest spaceship ever constructed. It's called the Messiah and is being built in orbit around the Earth. Robert Duvall plays the veteran astronaut in charge of the crew, Captain Tanner. His crew also includes Jon Favreau and Blair Underwood. This movie has a lot of "Hey, it's that guy!" moments. (Or, "Hey, it's that woman!") Other people of note in this movie are Kurtwood Smith (the dad from That '70s Show), Laura Innes (Dr. Weaver from ER), Dougray Scott, Mike O'Malley (Kurt's dad from Glee), and Richard Schiff (Toby Ziegler from The West Wing).

Also in this movie are Elijah Wood and Leelee Sobieski who play a high school couple named Leo and Sarah. Their story never links with any of the other characters in this movie which is really weird because you would think all the stories would link together. I know Jenny and the President meet and Captain Tanner and the President meet, but I can't remember if Jenny and Tanner are ever in a scene together. But the high schoolers and their families are never in any scenes with the other main characters of the movie. So their role is that they discovered the asteroid. This happens two years before it actually hits. They're with their astronomy professor and he is looking up something on his computer and discovers the asteroid, but as he's going to tell someone, he gets hit by a truck and his car explodes in a fiery ball. We then get text on the screen that reads "One year later".  I guess even though he died, the U.S. government knew about it since they were already preparing for the mission to divert the comet. Since Leo and his teacher discovered it, they name the asteroid after them. Like would you really want a killing machine named after you? While watching this, I couldn't help noticing that Elijah Wood will play the exact same character again later in the same year in The Faculty. He discovers the asteroid (well, with help) in this movie and he's the one to discover the aliens in that movie and both are from outer space and he gets on the cover of a news magazine in both films. The only difference is he's the main character in that movie and he's more ancillary in this.

Okay, let's get to the part when it starts to get interesting. The first hour is just setting everything up and meeting the characters, and, like I said, it's boring. But I started to pay more attention again when President Morgan Freeman came on TV and announced that while they were able to detonate the asteroid with the Messiah, it did not succeed in destroying it and instead it has broken into two pieces: one is six miles wide, and the other about a mile and both are still heading towards Earth. He tells the American audience that while they've been "hoping and working for the best", they've also been "preparing for the worst." Working with the Russians, they have another plan to divert the two large comets away from Earth. However, their plan can only happen when they are only hours from striking the planet. But in case that fails too and the asteroids do hit, he tells his audience that they have been preparing in case they need to repopulate the Earth again and that an underground bunker has been being built in the limestone caves of Missouri. There is a network of caves that will allow one million people to live there for two years (the time it will take for the sky to clear of dust). Not only will there be people, but also seeds, plants and animals, "enough to start over". A computer will randomly select 800,000 Americans to join the 200,000 scientists, doctors, engineers, teachers, soldiers, artists that have already been selected. (I guess they already had their ow lottery - but, wait! What if you were a doctor and weren't one of the 200,000 selected, but would you be able to go if you were one of the 800,000 "normal" people selected? Do the non-selected scientists, doctors, engineers, teachers, soldiers, and artists get a second chance when they draw for the general public or was that their only chance? I'm so confused!) Basically what President Morgan Freeman is telling the American audience is, "Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'!" I guess if you were getting this bad news delivered to you, you'd want it to be from the soothing voice of Morgan Freeman.

Jenny delivers the details of the lottery on the news. The biggest kicker is that nobody over the age of 50 will be selected (the exception being if they are one of the 200,000 pre-selected who have knowledge in a certain field). While she says this, they show her mother watching the news and I felt so bad for her. (She later kills herself, good job stupid lottery people who make these stupid rules). I can understand if they wouldn't allow anyone over 80, even over 70, but I still feel like people in their 50s and 60s are not THAT old. And if there's going to be an age limit, why stop at 50? You only have 800,000 spots for the entire country which was what back in '98? 250 million people? Why have anyone over the age of 30? Why don't they just have the age range be 12-30? That way you don't have to worry about baby-sitting annoying little kids and people are still young enough they can repopulate the world. Seriously, if they're not going to let people over 50, they might as well do it that way! Maybe I'm over thinking this way too much. I think this whole concept is a great social experiment, but they don't really delve into it that much. Like I said, this movie would have been better served as a mini series.

A few special snowflakes have been pre-selected. This includes Jenny because she's an MSNBC reporter? And Leo and his family because he discovered the comet that's going to kill everyone. Sarah's family, however, is not selected (awkward!) So even though they're only 17, Leo decides he's going to marry her and basically green card her so she can get in the shelter. (They missed a golden opportunity not casting a Hispanic actress!) Sarah agrees to do it if it also means her parents and baby brother get space in the caves too. They seem to get the ok, however on the day when they are picked up by the military who is driving them to the caves, Sarah's parents and brother are denied access and she refuses to leave them, which I don't blame her. They're from Richmond, Virginia, and when Leo and his family get to the bunker caves in Missouri, Leo decides he needs to go all the way back to Richmond to get Sarah. Virginia and Missouri are not that close! Why didn't he think of this sooner? His parents (his dad is played by Schiff) are reluctant about him going back, for, like, half a second, then they're like, "Yeah, you better go and get her."

Oh, yeah, they're also letting two of each animal into the bunkers ala Noah's Ark and we see people with their young children who didn't get in, protesting. I love animals, but it is ridiculous they're giving up space that could have been used to save PEOPLE'S LIVES for baby elephants and giraffes (no matter how cute they are).

So the asteroid is getting closer and closer. Jenny gives her spot of safety up to Dr. Weaver and her young daughter. She goes to make amends with her father because they had a huge fight and they embrace as a huge tidal wave comes for them. The crew on the space shuttle sacrifice themselves to destroy the other comet. Leo gets Sarah and her parents tell her to go with him and take the baby.  I don't understand how all these people outran a tsunami...., but they just climb up a mountain and they're fine.

President Morgan Freeman is also alive and tells everyone that pretty much the entire U.S. from the East Coast to Ohio and Tennessee has been wiped out, but that they will prevail as a nation. I remember watching this movie when it first came out and thinking, "Oh, good I would have survived because that terrifying 1,000 foot wave wouldn't have reached me!"

Okay, that's it for now. I'm a gettin' the hell outta here!