This Stitch Has a Glitch

Lilo and Stitch  

Director: Dean Fleischer Camp

Cast: Maia Kealoha, Sydney Agudong, Zach Galifianakis, Billy Magnussen, Tia Carrere, Courtney B. Vance, Hannah Waddington, Chris Sanders

Released: May 23, 2025

Since I already reviewed the animated movie from 2002, I thought I would point out the differences in the live action movie and what worked and what didn't work. For the most part, the movie (like most live action Disney movies that are a take on their animated counterpart) follows the original almost exactly, with just a few tweaks. 

In my other review, I mentioned that Chris Sanders and Dean DuBlois, the directors of the original (and more superior) Lilo and Stitch also directed How To Train Your Dragon from 2010. Chris Sanders (remember, he's also the person who came up with the story for Lilo and Stitch) returns as the voice of Stitch. I bring this up because How To Train Your Dragon was also made into a live action movie that came out about a month after this one and that one was directed by Dean DuBlois. While I like the animated HTTYD better (than its live action counterpart), I think the live action HTTYD works better than the live action Lilo and Stitch. If neither of these movies existed in their animated forms (how sad!) and we only saw them in their live action forms, I could see a world where HTTYD could exist in live action without having an animated counterpart. But if you were to watch live action Lilo and Stitch without any context of the animated movie, it would just be odd. I was really invested in the story of these two orphaned sisters and how they would make ends meet, but when Stitch or the other aliens are on screen, it almost just takes me out of it. I think the 2002 movie works better because you can get away more with the absurdity of the story because it's an animation. When it's live action, you notice the absurdity a lot more and it doesn't fit within the world. If that makes sense.  

My TL;DR sentence: I think both Lilo and Stitch and How To Train Your Dragon work better as animated movies, but HTTYD also works as a live action movie while Lilo and Stitch just feels odd as a live action film. 

(Remember, I'm only comparing the two because both live action adaptions came out within a month of each other and the animated movies were directed by the same guys.)

Obviously, I need to compare and contrast the two titular characters. The gist of both of them is still the same: Lilo, an orphaned girl, befriends this strange "dog" she names Stitch. I know this may sound strange, but one of the things I noticed is that in the animated movie, Lilo and Stitch are the same height (Lilo is very short!). This is not the case in this movie; after all, it would be weird as hell if they made Stitch the same size as a six-year-old. (In the animated movie, I wasn't sure exactly how old Lilo was supposed to be, but in this movie, we get confirmation that she's six.) I feel this makes them almost seen as equals in the animated film while Stitch just feels like her pet (which, to be fair, is what he's supposed to be) in the newer movie. 

Lilo is played by newcomer Maia Kealoha and while she is very cute, she wasn't the best at acting. Look, the girl was probably only seven or eight when she filmed this so I wasn't expecting an Oscar-winning performance, but some of her lines sounded really stilted. I'm thinking in particular of the scene where she and Stitch are in this motorized child's vehicle  (which Stitch hijacked from some poor girl around Lilo's age) driving around the island (it's a Big Wheel in the animated movie!) and Lilo says, "Don't you love living on an island with no big cities? It's just miles and miles of water." The line reading just sounds so stiff; it's almost like they told her what to say right before the scene and she said it, but it came out like a line. Which, technically, it was, but the secret of acting is to make people believe you're not acting! In the animated movie, Lilo has a very similar line, only she says, "It's nice living on an island with no big cities." They probably should have just had live action Lilo (heh...Live Action Lilo...that sounds like a superhero name) say the exact same line and just try to capture Daveigh Chase's natural line reading. 

When Stitch lands on Earth, he comes across an outdoor wedding where "Uptown Funk" is playing and spotting a piece of cake on a table, Stitch uses a golf cart to transport himself there.

Uh...damn, I just realized I'm doing the same thing I did in my review of the originial movie where I refer to Stitch as "Stitch" before he's given the name. Just go with it. It's hard not to call him Stitch, you know?

Anyway, we get this ridiculous scene where the bride and groom are about to do a Dirty Dancing-type dance and before the bride leaps into the groom's arms, Stitch goes flying and ends up in his arms instead and of course the guys is freaked out. I think I would be too if this strange blue furry creature landed on me! Stitch starts running under the tables and people are screaming and freaked out (but not freaked out enough in my opinion! Like what do they think this odd creature is? Surely they know it's nothing of this world!). Someone is trying to smack him with a broom which made me chuckle. I did think it was insane that everyone at this HUGE wedding is looking for him and it seems to take awhile before someone finally notices that he's sitting in the punch bowl (EWWW) and then he jumps into the cake as the grand finale. If I were the bride, I would be PISSED! I will say the image of him having four pieces of cake in each of his hands is pretty funny.

We saw at least one person taking photos of him while he was being chased at the wedding. You would think this would go viral, but it never does. I don't really understand the point of this whole sequence (aside from the silly shenanigan) especially because Stitch will still get run over by a truck (in this case it's a trolley).

The live action movie introduces us to some new characters (and has subtracted at least one pretty big (no pun intended) character. I was okay with these new characters because they made sense in the context of the movie. The first is that Cobra Bubbles is not the social worker. Don't worry, he's still in the movie. Instead the social worker is a woman named Mrs. Kekoa and she's played by Tia Carrere, who was the original voice of Nani, Lilo's older sister. I love that they incorporated someone from the original movie into this one so I'm okay with the change and it was fun seeing the two Nanis interact. 

When Mrs. Kekoa (original Nani) visits the sisters for the first time, they do the similar scene in the 2002 movie where Nani (Sydney Agudong) asks the social worker to wait a minute (because Lilo has locked her out of the house) and she runs into the house (after pushing the back door so hard that the chain keeping it locked breaks) and the camera remains on the social workers as we hear some crashing and the record scratching and Lilo exclaiming, "Hey, don't touch that!" before the Elvis song stop playing. I appreciate that they try to replicate what they do in the animated movie, but it was just done so much better in the 2002 movie. It might have to do with the fact that it is probably easier to convey in an animated movie. 

Nani asks Mrs. Kekoa if she would like anything to drink and when she requests tea, Nani puts Capri Sun in a tea cup and microwaves it. Yuck! I did laugh when Mrs. Kekoa mentions the tea is "pretty sweet" and by the end of their meeting, she knows that it's just heated up Capri Sun. 

She tells Nani that things don't look good and that they "have a new director coming into town next week." When she mentioned that, I figured this must be Cobra Bubbles. She wants to come up with some goals with Nani for her and Lilo to achieve by then. These goals include cleaning the house (including laundry and stocking the fridge), paying all the bills, and filing for health insurance for both her and Lilo. Mrs. Kekoa wants Nani to get all these done by Friday. I'm not sure what day it is now, but I hope it's at least Monday to give her some time to get all this done. 

Another new character is the neighbor lady who almost acts like a grandmother figure to the two girls. At first I thought she was David's mom, but I don't think that's the case. She just seems to know David. But I was fine with this authority figure because that means at least the girls had one adult looking out for them. Although there are a few changes concerning her that irritated me. 

After her visit with Mrs. Kekoa, Nani is chatting with her neighbor and this is when we find out that Nani got accepted to her "dream school" which is UCSD which she wants to go there for marine biology? Uh, do they not have marine biology department at a Hawaiian school? It's Hawaii....I mean, you would think. Her neighbor encourages Nani to attend college, but Nani claims she can't go because she has to watch Lilo. Do these girls not have grandparents or aunts or uncles that can help out? I guess not. This was never really touched on in the animated movie either. It does seem pretty unfair for this eighteen-year-old girl to have to become her sister's mother as well....and we know that Lilo prefers her as a sister than a mom. 

In the animated movie, when Jumba and Pleakley are sent to Earth, they "disguise" themselves by wearing clothes and trying to hide their alien features (which doesn't exactly work), but because we're dealing with the (literal) real world in this movie, Jumba and Pleakley disguise themselves as humans. I'm okay with this change because while it was absurd and funny in the 2002 movie, it wouldn't work here. Even though we're dealing with a universe where aliens do exist, this movie does try to be as realistic as it can. However, the way they come by their disguises just baffled me.  

The two aliens are wearing trench coats and have scarfs and/or handkerchiefs wrapped around their faces, and are wearing big sunglasses and straw hats. They're walking down a busy tourist street with a "Federation-certified cloning device", looking for their prey. They're completely covered up,...except for their tails and Jumba's huge heavy elephant-thick legs. (Don't ask me how nobody noticed THAT!) They look absolutely ridiculous...there's no way they could keep up that disguise without looking suspicious. 

They find two guys (Zach Galifianakis and Billy Magnussen) walking towards them who "look like best friends just like us" according to Pleakley. He knocks over one of the guy's golf bags and helps him with it. He touches the human's arm with his green tentacle and the guys doesn't even seem to notice. Yeah, I call bs. This allows him to become cloned and Jumba does the same thing with the other guy. They have now become those humans...but what happened to the two guys? Are they just laying in the middle of the sidewalk? Did their bodies disappear? Have Pleakley and Jumba completely inhabited these humans? Yeah, they didn't really explain that very well. As far as I know, they just killed those two guys. It was amusing trying to watch them "walk" because they're not used to having human legs, though I would argue at least Pleakley had legs more similar to a human's while Jumba had these huge tree trunks for legs. I have to say, it does feel off Jumba not having a Russian accent, though if you think about it, aliens should not have any accent from this world, much less be able to speak English! When they check into the hotel, they're acting all weird, asking for a "hot tube" and when the receptionist asks where they're from they both reply "Earth" and Jumba adds, "We both grew up in Earth." Wait a sec...aren't you supposed to show some sort of identification (like a driver's license) when you're checking into a hotel? The way these two are acting, I'm surprised the receptionist wasn't a bit more suspicious. These two would have been red flags to me, but they just let it slide for the plot of the movie. 

Later, they see something on the news about a trolley that ran over an unusual creature and that it is recovering at the animal rescue. Video footage of Stitch taken at the wedding is shown, but I still think the whole wedding scene was unnecessary.  

The way Lilo acquires Stitch is a little bit different than the animated movie. She still gets him from the animal shelter, but it's her neighbor who takes her there while Nani is at work. They're actually at some outdoor market and the animal shelter is nearby and Lilo asks if she can look at the dogs. 

Before Lilo arrived, Stitch had escaped from his cage and went outside where he sees a sandwich in the garbage and when he goes to gobble it up, darts are shot at him. Jumba and Peakley had found him because he was wearing a tracking device on his collar. He uses the garbage lid to shield himself from the darts and goes back in through the front door where he walks on the ceiling while Lilo is talking to the girl at the front desk. 

It's the neighbor that allows Lilo to get her new blue "dog" after Lilo begs her. I can't believe she just bought a dog without Nani's permission. In the animated movie, it was Nani who took her to the animal shelter with the intention of getting her a dog. I'm not sure why they changed it. Obviously, when they get home, Nani is not happy about this new pet and I don't blame her one bit. An animal is a big responsibility and they already have enough to deal with. The neighbor tells her it was her idea to get Lilo the animal because "a pet might bring some joy." Okay, then maybe suggest that to Nani first, then let Nani take Lilo to the shelter to pick out a pet. 

Stitch being a lil sh*t #1

Lilo and her new pet are in the truck with Nani who's driving to work. (Another difference is that in the animated movie they walked everywhere while in this movie they have the convince of a car.) Stitch is just being an *$$h0le and going wild, messing around with the radio, honking the horn, taking out the CD (who still listens to CDs in cars? What is this? 2002?) and throwing it out the window where it hits the car behind them. Like, Stitch was annoying in the animated movie, but he's probably even more annoying in this one. He rips the fabric of the seat with his claw and Nani comments they'll have to stitch that up.

For some reason, this causes Lilo to scream bloody murder. Nani stops the car and asks, "What?", obviously concerned that something has happened. Lilo replies, "That's his name, Stitch!" Seriously, you screamed like you were getting murdered for that? Why? Anyway, I liked how Stitch got his name in the 2002 movie better. Lilo just straight up said "His name is Stitch" and that was it. Plus she didn't scream before she thought of it, so that's a plus. I don't know why they needed a reason for his name to be Stitch. Sometimes kids just think up a name for their pet as soon as they get them. 

When Nani starts the car, she almost hits the two aliens disguised as humans who are standing on a crosswalk. They know that Stitch knows he's safe as long as he's with Lilo because they can't be attacking him if he's near humans. Nani apologizes to them for almost hitting them and as she continues to drive, Jumba throws a tracking device which attaches itself underneath the car. (Stitch must have gotten rid of the collar with the tracking device earlier.) 

Stitch being a lil sh*t #2

While they're at the outdoor restaurant where Nani works at, Stitch continues to be super annoying. He goes over to this little kiosk that serves drinks and takes out a sprayer and shouts, "Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam!" before spraying Lilo with it and they get into a soda spraying fight. This is not in the animated movie and I have no doubt they wanted to add more obnoxious things for Stitch to do because the kids watching this movie would love it. 

During a fire twirling performance, Stitch decides to grab his own pair of fire sticks and starts twirling them. When he sees a security guard running towards him, he throws the sticks and one of them lands on a table and starts a fire. This is way worse than what happened in the animated movie. (He attacks Jumba and Pleakley who are not here.) The fire is put out, but Nani's boss gives her the death stare. Nani knows who did this and turns to give Lilo and Stitch the death stare of her own. 

Stitch continues to act like an @$$hole. He tries to high five Lilo, but even she knows the situation isn't good and refuses. 

Now we see Jumba and Pleakley show up just as the sisters are leaving. There is a funny scene of Jumba trying to drive a golf cart and he doesn't know how to start it because "there are no instruments." 

It's interesting that after animated Nani gets fired from her job, she doesn't blame it on Lilo, but when real girl Lilo makes a remark that Nani didn't even like that job, Nani snaps, "I don't want to hear it." (Though I certainly don't blame her for being pissed!) 

Stitch being a lil sh*t #3

I've already mentioned that they made Stitch way more annoying in this movie. Well, remember how bad he was the first time he's introduced to the house in the animated movie? He might be even worse during this scene in this movie. They try to give him a bath, but he ends up in the toilet, then goes to the kitchen and wipes his bum across the floor, ewww. He turns on the stove and he smacks Nani in the face (twice!) with the freezer door when he's holding on to the fridge handle and she's trying to grab him. Lilo pulls the "Ohana means family" guilt trip on her and that's how Stitch stays, but if I were Nani, I would tell Lilo, "F Ohana, we're taking this terror mutt back to the pound!" 

We do see Scrump (Lilo's ragdoll) when Lilo shows her to Stitch and tells him, "You can play with Scrump, but be nice." 

Okay, remember when Mrs. Kekoa told Nani that a new director was coming next week and I thought it would be Cobra Bubbles? Well, I was wrong. When we meet Special Agent Bubbles (Courtney B. Vance), he's in a field studying an odd vessel that crashed in a tree (clearly the spaceship Stitch crashed). He's with other agents and one of them tells him, "There's no sign of a pilot, no tracks, no trails." It turns out he bugged the home of the sisters (not sure when that happened) and when he heard a social worker would be coming to the house, he asked an agent for the social worker and remarked, "I'm going undercover." 

At the beach, during the surfing scene, Jumba and Peakley shoot darts at Stitch who falls into the water. He keeps scrambling on top of Lilo's head making her sink so he won't. While all this is going on, Cobra is on the beach and sees that he's not the only one after Stitch. 

Once Lilo gets back to shore, there is a big difference where Nani tells someone to call an ambulance after Lilo spits out some water. I'm not really 100% sure about water safety, but I feel like she's probably okay and the ambulance wasn't needed? Maybe? IDK? I mean, she spit out the water and is breathing okay. 

Looks like I'm right because at the hospital, the doctor pretty much tells Nani that Lilo's going to be okay. Stitch is there too, sitting on David's lap and I'm thinking, They're allowed to bring this animal in the hospital when the doctor asks, "Is that a-" and David says, "It's a service animal." Service animal, my ass! When the doctor mentions she can go up front where they can run her insurance, Nani has a look of horror on her face because there is no insurance. Again, why did you call the ambulance and bring her to the hospital when she was breathing on her own two seconds after getting pulled from the water? 

She must have called Mrs. Kekoa because in the next scene we see her sitting with Nani in the hospital hall, outside of Lilo's room. She tells her, "There's a way that the state will pay for all of this, but it means you have to official relinquish guardianship of Lilo." When Lilo is released from the hospital, Nani tells her they're going to "have to make some changes." 

There's a sweet moment where Lilo and Nani are cuddled on the hammock together singing a song while Nani strums a ukulele and Nani tells her, "I want you to know, whatever happens, I love you so much much."  While this is going on, Stitch leaves and ends up back at the animal shelter. 

The Ugly Duckling storyline is not in this movie which felt a little jarring since in the original film he feels lost like the duck and it was a great analogy. Instead, Lilo shows him a photo book of her family when her parents were alive. I mention this because in the animated film Lilo tells Stitch can go if he wants and he grabs the book before leaving.

The next morning, Mrs. Kekoa and Mr. Bubbles have come to get Lilo, but when Nani goes in her room, she isn't there. Instead, she is outside looking for Stitch. It's interesting that in the animated movie she gives permission for Stitch to go, so there's a big difference there. 

Like the 2002 movie, the Councilwoman checks in with Pleakley and Jumba from time to time. She is not happy that 626 hasn't been captured yet and basically gives Agent Pleakley the go ahead to arrest Jumba and bring him back to Turo, but Jumba has other plans. I mentioned earlier a pretty major character is missing and that is Gantu the humongous elephant/shark-like alien. Instead, they make Jumba the Big Bad of the movie. I don't love this change, but I do understand why they did it. When Lilo eventually finds Stitch at the animal shelter where he's back in his cage and after a heartfelt conversation, Jumba enters and chases them to Lilo's house. 

During the house raid, in front of Lilo, Jumba tells Stitch the only reason he manipulated  Lilo into choosing him at the animal shelter was for his own protection and if does care about Lilo, then he'll leave her here. Stitch surrenders and lets Jumba put the tracking collar on him and follows him to his spaceship. I should also mention that Jumba is now in his alien form during all this. 

We're about an hour and ten minutes into the movie at this point and I can't help but notice that Stitch knows quite a bit of English...more than he did in the animated movie. I don't remember him speaking in full sentences; I just remembered him maybe uttering a word or two in English to make his point so the humans could understand him, but here it seems like he's just having full blown conversations. 

So now we're to the part where the house has collapsed and Nani, David, Cobra, and the neighbor lady find the debris. Pleakley appears from a pile of rubble and tells them Lilo's not there, that she's on the space ship. That's another slight difference, In the 2002 movie, Gantu captured Lilo and Stitch and put them in the capsule attached to his space craft. Here, Jumba's only interested in Stitch and Lilo sneaks on the space ship. I don't remember how Pleakley knows this...I guess he saw her? 

This whole scene in the animated movie is pretty insane with Stitch trying to save Lilo and crashing and hijacking a semi truck and driving it into a volcano....the 2025 movie doesn't do any of that...probably because it's insane and would be a bitch to do all that. That said, it's still pretty crazy, just not crashing into a volcano crazy. 

Just before Jumba is about to put an end to Stitch, Lilo crawls out from her hiding space and distracts him long enough for Stitch to escape from his constraints. Lilo is way too laid back for the situation she's put herself into. She's not scared at all. She's calling Jumba names like Pizza Face and making cracks about him having a disco ball in his space ship. (What was that all about anyway?) Maybe she feels confident because she has Stitch on her side, but she doesn't seem to realize what she's gotten herself into. 

Jumba falls out of the ship and the vessel crashes into the ocean. Lilo is stuck under some wreckage and Stitch is able to lift it up (remember, he's super strong) so she can escape. She tries to save Stitch, but he's too heavy. I think one thing this movie does better than the animated movie is remind us that Stitch becomes super heavy when he gets wet because his molecular density is too great. In the animated movie, it's easy to forget about that because it's only mentioned once in the beginning and when David rescues him after the surfing incident, he doesn't seem to have any issue. Of course, in this movie, live action David does the same and doesn't seem to have any issues so David must have some super strength for a skinny guy. 

Nani puts Lilo on David's surfboard and Lilo begs her to save Stitch and reminds her about Ohana and asks, "What about nobody gets left behind?" They're probably about a half mile (or maybe closer to shore). Nani dives down and scoops up Stitch and walks across the ocean floor holding him like he's an anvil. This reminded me of that one Survivor challenge (don't ask me what season, but probably one in the late teens or early twenties) where the players had to dive down to the ocean floor and carry a heavy chest to the shore...of course they would come up with air and dive down again while Nani seems to do this in one go. I'm impressed she can hold her breath for that long. I'm also a little  skeptical she was able to do that. 

She makes it to the beach and they try to revive him, but it doesn't look like he's going to make it and there's sad music and everyone's sad. Like, who are we kidding here? It's f***ing Lilo and Stitch. We know he doesn't die in the original (spoiler alert!) so we know he'll make it. This felt a little like emotional manipulation.

Then the Councilwoman arrives to take 626 and we're back in sync with the 2002 movie, the only difference here is that they take out Stitch belonging to Lilo because she owns him since she paid for him. I guess we never saw her pay for her new pet in this movie (I'm guessing her neighbor bought him for her) so instead Cobra and Pleakley make a deal with her that Pleakley will watch over Stitch and Cobra will make sure this will never be found out and she seem satisfied with this. I guess they forgot about all those videos taken of Stitch at that wedding. 

There are a few loose ends that we need to tie up. The neighbor lady (you can probably tell that I don't remember her name) has offered to take in Lilo so she'll still be next door. Wouldn't have this been easier if she had just done this a long time ago? This just seems way too easy and it's a bit dumb they didn't think of this before. 

Nani ends up going to college in San Diego to study marine biology and after the ending montage set to "Burning Love" (it's not Elvis or Wynona singing it; it's two kids who are Bruno Mars' nephews (now I get why they had "Uptown Funk" playing during the wedding scene) and let's just say these kids didn't inherit their uncle's talent...I'll just leave it at that. 

The very last scene of the movie, we see Lilo talking to Nani on FaceTime and Nani tells her to "hold on a sec" and disappears from the frame. Lilo is asking her questions about her dorm room and college life, but Nani isn't responding and Lilo asks her where she went. We then see a light and a hand reaches out to touch Lilo's foot. It's Nani behind her and she's come through a portal with one of the ray guns the aliens brought with them. Oh, did I not mention these? They're laser guns you can shoot and it can make you go from one place to another in an instant. It's insane that the girls were able to keep this and I am 110% positive the only reason they had Nani go to college in San Diego was so they could have this asinine scene. 

It felt like they were trying to shove Stitch in our faces, like "Look how cute he is! You came to see this movie because you love Stitch!" There's even a scene where Pleakley mentions to Jumba how cute or adorable Stitch is (I can't remember the exact context) and it just felt like it was pandering to the Stitch Stans (heh). I don't even think this Stitch was even cute. I love animated Stitch, but CGI Stitch is f***ing annoying as hell. 

Skip this one and watch the animated movie. 

Alien Nation

Lilo and Stitch

Directors: Chris Sanders and Dean DuBlois

Voice Talent: Daveigh Chase, Tia Carrere, Ving Rhames, Chris Sanders, David Ogden Stiers, Jason Scott Lee

Released: June 21, 2002

Viewed in theaters: July 15, 2002

Oscar nomination:

Best Animated Movie (lost to Spirited Away)

Lilo and Stitch is an animated Disney movie I like and enjoy very much, but I wouldn't put it in my top ten of favorite animated Disney movies of all time. Perhaps it would crack the top 20 or 25 and that's pretty good considering there's 64 animated Disney movies (a quick Google search helped me answer that). It is my favorite animated Disney movie from the aughts (that's what we call the decade spanning from 2000-2009, right?) although I haven't seen all the animated Disney movies from that era (the post-Disney Renaissance era I believe it's called), but something tells me Chicken Little or Home on the Range (which I haven't seen) aren't going to change my mind.

The directors, Chris Sanders and Dean DuBlois, would go on to direct one of my favorite (non-Disney) animated movies that would come out eight years later: How to Train Your Dragon. There's actually a few similarities between the two movies with a misunderstood character befriending an unusual creature. 

Before you ask, I do plan to do a review of the live action Lilo and Stitch that came out last year. I thought about doing them in the same review, but decided against it. 

Lilo and Stitch is a bit of a departure from other Disney animated movies that are often taken from tales and stories that have already been written or told. This movie was completely created by the director (and the voice of Stitch), Chris Sanders. According to Wikipedia, he had had the idea for Stitch and the story since 1981. I have to hand it to him; can you imagine coming up with one of the most beloved Disney characters? My ten-year-old niece absolutely loves him. 

Stitch starts the movie as Experiment 626. (Hmmm....I should've waited until June 26 to post this! I did notice the movie was released on June 21...they couldn't wait until the 26th? I asked Google what day that was and it was a Wednesday, so I guess they went with the Friday before that.) 

On the planet Turo, an alien scientist named Dr. Jumba Jookiba (voiced by David Ogden Stiers with a heavy Russian accent) has created Experiment 626. According to Jumba, this newly created alien "is bulletproof, fireproof, and can think faster than supercomputer. He can see in the dark and move objects 3,000 times his size. His only instinct, to destroy everything he touches." Okay, then, what exactly is the point of creating this monstrosity? This seems super dangerous. 

The other aliens seem to agree with me. There is a council of aliens led by the Grand Councilwoman who believes Experiment 626 is "an affront to nature and must be destroyed." The Councilwoman asks the strange blue creature to give them some sign that he understands what's going on and this is when he says those strange words, "Meegla nala kweesta!" I looked this up on Google translate (just kidding; I just Googled what it meant); it means "I will destroy." Even if I didn't know that, it was pretty obvious he said something pretty horrific because all the aliens look shook to the core and one of the aliens (who looks like a robot...perhaps he was also created by Jumba) starts throwing up nuts and bolts and that made me laugh. 

The Council decides to banish him "to exile on a desert asteroid." While he is being held, the small but powerful alien is able to escape. The aliens are able to trace where he's heading and they discover it's "a planet called Ee-arth." The Councilwoman demands an expert on the planet. (Surely, she's at least heard of Earth, right?) When she is told that most of Earth is covered in water, she comments, "He won't survive in water. His molecular density is too great." Okay, what are the odds that there would be TWO movies in 2002 where aliens have an aversion to water?*

We see on the computer monitor that he's getting closer to a group of islands (clearly Hawaii) and will land on solid ground in a little over three hours. The Councilwoman's solution? "We have to gas the planet." Gee, that's a little extreme! Agent Pleakley, the earth aficionado, tells her to hold off on that thought: "Earth is a protected wildlife preserve. They've been using it to rebuild the mosquito population which is an endangered species." Hmm, something tells me wherever he got his information from was very, very wrong, but it is pretty funny thinking of the mosquito as an endangered species. 

Pleakley shoots down all the (awful) idea the Councilwoman has to extract Experiment 626 before she decides to enlist Jumba to get him back. After all, who better to retrieve the alien than the scientist who created it? The Earth expert will also be joining him. Jumba had been sent to prison but the Councilwoman tells him they "are willing to trade [his] freedom for [Experiment 626's] capture." 

Luckily, all this outer space stuff is the first five minutes of the movie and now we'll be spending the rest of our time in Hawaii where we meet the other half of our duo, Lilo (voiced by Daveigh Chase), a young girl (I'm guessing she's around eight?) who lives with her older sister, Nani (voiced by Tia Carrere). Nani is also Lilo's guardian because their parents died in a car accident. I'm guessing Nani is at least eighteen. I guess she'd have to be if she can be her younger sister's guardian! 

Lilo is late for her hula dance class. She's dripping water all over because she's just been in the ocean and this causes all the other young dancers to slip. Her instructor asks her why she is drenched (duh, obviously she's been in the water!) and she replies, "It's sandwich day." I love how it's Lilo who sighs irritably when he gives her a puzzled look, when really, it should be the dance instructor giving the irritated sigh as one of his students has arrived late and has made the other dances slip and fall because she's trailing in water. Lilo continues with her excuse: "Every Thursday, I take Pudge the fish a peanut butter sandwich..." She says they were out of peanut butter and and when she asked her sister what she should give him, she said a tuna sandwich. That Nani has a sick, twisted mind! Lilo says she'd be "an abomination" if she gave Pudge tuna and she's "late because [she] had to go to the store and get peanut butter." (Really? That's the reason she's late? It's not the fact that she went out in the ocean to feed a fish? Also, how does she find this particular fish? Is it always in the same spot?) This dance instructor has the patience of a saint. He asks her why this is so important and she tells him, "Pudge controls the weather." One of Lilo's classmates, a little redheaded girl with glasses named Mertle Edmonds (who's a real b*tch), tells her, "You're crazy!" Lilo does not take so kindly to this and pounces on her and starts punching her in the face. 

When the teacher gets her off of the other girl, Lilo immediately apologizes. Let me emphasize that she's apologizing to her teacher, not the girl she just pummeled. But Mertle probably wouldn't have accepted Lilo's apology anyway. The teacher has Lilo wait outside and tells her he called her sister and she should wait there until Nani comes to get her. When the class ends, Lilo sees the other girls walking home with their dolls. She joins them and when she asks if they're going to play dolls, they all hide their dolls behind their backs. Mertle sneers at her, "You don't have a doll." Now I usually don't condone violence, but this girl is a l'il b*tch and probably deserved to have her face smashed in by Lilo. Lilo takes out her version of a doll, a bean bag shaped thing with button eyes and a stitched mouth and a bow on top. She introduces them to Scrump and tells them she made her. All the girls gasp in horror like she's the little girl from The Ring. **

She says a few more things about her doll and when she looks up, all the girls have gone. In a really heartbreaking scene, she throws her doll on the ground and stomps off, but then quickly turns back to collect the doll, hugging it. 

Nani arrives at the dance school and doesn't see her sister. She runs home and on the way there, a car almost runs into her. She screams at the driver, "Hey! Watch where you're going!" and kicks the bumper and calls the driver "stupid head." She'll soon realize this was't the smartest thing to do.

When she reaches the house, the front door is locked and she pokes her head through the doggy door and sees Lilo lying on the floor listening to "Heartbreak Hotel." (We'll soon find out that Lilo is quite the Elvis aficionado.) Nani reminds her "the social worker's going to be here any minute" and Lilo tells her to go away, then increases the volume on the record player. (Yes, she listening to a record player! Lilo likes vinyl!) 

The reason yelling at the driver wasn't the smartest thing for Nani to do is because the driver of that car just so happens to be the social worker (voiced by Ving Rhames). He comes up the stairs while Nani is still half inside the house through the doggy door. Lilo has actually nailed the door shut (seems a little extreme for a little girl to do!) and Nani grabs a hammer to take out the nails. As she's doing that, she says to Lilo, "You are so finished when I get in there! I'm going to stuff you in the blender, push "puree", then bake you into a pie and feed it to the social worker." The social worker in question is now by her legs protruding from the doggy door and has heard every word she just uttered. Nani continues, "And when he says, "Mmm, this is great? What's your secret? I'm going to say..." At this point, the social worker hooks his foot on her legs and pulls her out and she looks up at him and says, "Love...and nurturing." She nervously says to the man, "You must be the..." and he answers for her, "The stupid head." Not a great start with the social worker, there! And it will continue to not be so great. 

He introduces himself as Mr. Bubbles and asks Nani if she's going to invite him in and she tells him she thought they could sit out on the front stoop and talk, but he's not having it. She tells him to follow her and they go around back and she tells him to wait there while she runs around to the side of the house. I'm sure Mr. Bubbles can sniff the bulls*t already! There is a hilarious moment where, while he is waiting, he hears glass breaking, something crashing, the record player scratching quickly followed by the sound of the music stopping and Lilo whining, "Hey!" I love this scene and it makes me laugh because the audience doesn't see any thing that just happened...the camera was on Bubbles the whole time (which seemed to only take about five seconds!). The door opens and Nani is panting with sweaty strands of hair in her face. She offers some lemonade to Bubbles. 

He comes in and asks her, "Do you often leave your sister home alone?" She tells him never, except just this once because she had to run to the store. They're in the kitchen and he looks at the stove which has four pots cooking something on each burner and the counter is full of disgusting dirty dishes Bubbles asks her, "You left the stove on while you were out?" 

Luckily a distraction in the form of Lilo comes in and Nani introduces her to Mr. Bubbles. He extends out a hand for her to shake and Lilo comments, "Your knuckles say Cobra." He asks her if she's happy and she tells him, "I'm adjusted. I eat four food groups and look both ways before crossing the street." It's clear that this is a rehearsed speech and we see Nani behind Bubbles (I'm not sure if I should call him "Bubbles" or "Cobra"; they're both equally ridiculous, so I'll just stick with "Bubbles") signaling to Lilo what to say. Lilo also adds that she "gets disciplined" when Nani holds up her fists. I think she's holding them up in triumph for Lilo following the script, but she should have just given her a thumbs up. She did not intend for Lilo to say she gets disciplined! Nani holds up her palm, trying to stop her and Lilo takes this as she "gets disciplined five times a day with a brick." I'm not sure where she's getting punished by a brick with Nani just holding up her hand. Of course, she could just be being a little sh*t because that's what Lilo is at times. 

Before he leaves, Bubbles tells Nani something she already knows: "This did not go well." He adds that he is "giving her three days to change [his] mind." 

The two sisters get into a shouting match when Nani asks Lilo if she understands she could be taken away. Lilo stomps up to her room and screams into a pillow while Nani simultaneosy screams into a pillow on the living room couch. Some time has elapsed and a much more calm Nani brings up some pizza for Lilo and she tells her she shouldn't have yelled at her and Lilo replies, "We're sisters. It's our job." She also adds, "I like you better as a sister than a mom." 

The lights go off and they hear a booming noise in the distance. Lilo goes to her window and sees what she thinks is "a falling star." She shoos her sister out of her room so she can make a wish. Nani opens the door to overhear Lilo saying a little prayer by her bed and asking God or TPTB to "send me an angel...the nicest angel you have." 

There's a funny juxtaposition to Stitch (as you may have guessed, the crash the girls (and I'm sure everyone else within a 50 mile radius) heard was Stitch's spaceship crash landing) who is standing on a pile of rocks looking like a devil. His six legs have their sharp claws protruded, his eyes are narrowed, and he has a demonic smile and laughs manically with a big plume of smoke behind him. 

He has a laser gun and when a couple drops of rain plop down, he shoots at them until it's full on pouring. A couple of trucks that are connected run him over and because he is indestructible he doesn't get smooshed...too bad. The driver stops to see what he hit and finds the strange creature jammed above the tire and calls the animal shelter. Stitch wakes up in a kennel he's sharing with three dogs who are all in a corner cowering and terrified of the strange creature. One dog is even covering his eyes with his paws. Stitch goes to get his laser but finds he no longer has it. 

It just so happens that Nani happens to be at the shelter with Lilo and we hear her say, "We're looking for something that can defend itself...something that won't die...something sturdy, you know?" I found "something that won't die" a bit strange for her to say. Does she think she's getting a goldfish? I would assume when you're getting a dog you expect it to live for a good while so that was just an odd thing to say. While they're talking, Stitch scuttles across the ceiling and out the door where a red laser immediately points at him and he goes back inside and crawls along the ceiling and into the back room without anyone noticing him. As you may have guessed, Jumba was the one pointing his laser gun at him. 

Lilo is allowed to go back into the backroom to choose a dog and she doesn't see any because they're all hiding in the rafters from Stitch. He sees a poster of a little girl hugging a dog with the message "Adopt today" and disguises himself to be more doglike so he retracts his extra pair of arms, he gets rid of the spiny things on his back, and hides the antenna on his head. While it helps him not look so strange, he still doesn't look like a dog to me. Later, Nani will liken him to an "evil koala" and that comparison makes more sense. He really does sort of resemble a koala...at least more than a dog. 

Okay, I need to pause here because I just realized I've been doing something without noticing until now. I've been calling Stitch "Stitch". Yes, I know that's his name, but remember, he technically hasn't been named "Stitch" yet (though he will soon). I think he's just so engraved in pop culture that he's always just been Stitch. It's hard to forget for the first twenty-five minutes of the movie he's just known as Experiment 626. Now I could go back and just change all my "Stitch" mentions to "Experiment 626" but eh, I just decided to write this explanation and you can read why I was calling him "Stitch" before he got the name. C'est la vie. 

Stitch appears in front of Lilo who says "hi" and he sounds out the word and hugs her. Being that he can talk and he's the only "dog" around, Lilo is adamant about getting him, but Nani is not so sure. When the woman filling out the forms asks Lilo what she wants to name her new dog, she decides on Stitch. The woman tells her, "Now that's not a real name," but Nani quickly quiets her and she adds, "In Iceland." Why would this woman, who I assume has helped many people adopt dogs at this animal shelter, tell a kid that the name she picked is not a real name? Surely she has seen many kids name their dog something out of the ordinary. I would think she would know not to tell them that the name the chose isn't "a real name." Also, she's a bespectacled redhead so I wonder if she's Mertle's mom? It would make sense: they both look alike and neither have people skills. 

Stitch costs Lilo (who bothers the money from her sister) $2. I have to say, that's a steal. I got my cat, Milo (who just celebrated his 19th birthday!), in 2007 for $125. 

Jumba and Peakley are situated on a hill and when Stitch sets foot outdoors, the laser is pointed at him, but he starts barking and Lilo steps outside beside him. Jumba is about to take his shot, but Peakley grabs the laser from him and tells him, " I have just determined this situation to be far too hazardous!" Angry that Experiment 626 is using this girl as a shield, Jumba starts down the hill, ready to charge the blue alien, but Peakley tells him they cannot be seen and that they "have to blend in." 

Nani tells Lilo she has to go to work (she's a waitress at a restaurant) and reminds her to "stick around town and stay out of the roads." Now I don't think we're ever told Lilo's age, but she can't be no older than eight. (Of course she is an animated characters...I can barely tell the age of kids in real life!) She seems a little young to be left by herself without a baby-sitter, let alone allowing to be running around the island town they live in as long as she doesn't leave the town. Oh, well, I guess I shouldn't question an animated movie about an alien that looks like an evil koala. 

Lilo goes outside and runs into the girls from her dance class on their Big Wheels with that b*tch Mertle Edmonds leading the pack. Lilo apologizes to her for what happened previously, but Mertle says, "Apology not accepted." Stitch walks over to her and Mertle shrieks. Lilo tells them, "I got a new dog. His name is Stitch." Mertle, the Little B*tch (TM) tells her, "That is the ugliest thing I have ever saw." Well, Mertle, have you looked in a mirror? You're no prize yourself. Stitch walks over to the Big Wheel she was riding in and dumps her out of it and starts riding away and Lilo jumps on behind him. I love how this movie doesn't give an eff about how absurd it is as times. Because it already knows it's an absurd movie. I loved Mertle's "Wahhhhh! Wahhhh!" cries. 

Stitch is driving the Big Wheel everywhere but is frustrated when he keeps finding water. It's when Lilo says, "It's nice to live on an island with no large cities" that he realizes there's no escape. I'm not really sure what he's trying to find; I assume a way to escape, but where does he plan to go? Well, for now he's stuck with Lilo on this island! 

That evening, they go to the restaurant Nani works at. A friend/possible love interest of hers, David, also works there and Lilo shows him her new dog. She adds, "He used to be a collie before he got ran over." I'm not really sure where she got that information! Jumba and Peakley are also sitting nearby. They've disguised themselves but it's hilarious because you can tell they're still aliens. Jumba has four tiny eyes while Peakley has this one huge eye in the middle of his head. They try to lure Stitch away from his table with a piece of chicken tied to a rope which he follows. Stitch absolutely loves food. Nani had brought two pieces of cake, one for Lilo and one for Stitch (who brings a dog a piece of cake?) and Stitch eats both pieces. He realizes he shouldn't have done then when Lilo gives an incredulous "Hey!" He hacks up both pieces and digs in his throat to add the cherry on top. Ewww. That's my response and Lilo's response! Anyway, he follows the piece of chicken and Jumba grabs him and there's a big fight. Nani sees this as Stitch attacking patrons and throws a punch at him. Her boss comes up to her and asks her if that's her dog, then tells her it's not working out and she leaves. When Lilo asks her if she lost her job "because of Stitch and me", Nani tells her no and adds that her manager is a vampire "and he wanted me to join his legion of the undead." 

This is the first time Stitch is seeing the house even though he's been with Lilo nearly all day. Lilo tells him he'll like his new home a lot. She shows him a pillow and he starts tearing it apart. Well, at least he acts like a dog! Nani thinks they should take him back and doesn't think he's a dog. Yes, exactly! How can anyone think that's a dog? Lilo replies, "He's just cranky because it's his bedtime."

Nani still wants to take him back and I can't really blame her because he's wrecking havoc around their house. He's scratching the walls and turning on the blender and making a mess. Lilo tells her, "He was an orphan and we adopted him. What about "ohana"? Nani tells her he hasn't been with them that long and Lilo replies, "Neither have I. Dad said 'Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten." She totally guilt trips her sister into letting Stitch stay. I do understand where Lilo is coming from. They've only had Stitch for one day. I think it's only fair they give it time before they just give up and send him back, but I don't agree with her comparing herself to Stitch when she told Nani she hasn't been with her that long. Lilo, girl, there's a huge difference between you, Nani's sister, and some "dog" you just adopted from the animal shelter. 

Lilo takes Stitch upstairs to her room and shows him a little dog bed on the floor next to her bed, but he wants her bed instead. Heh, reminds me of my cat. Not only does he sleep on my bed, but he wants to sleep on my pillows...the same ones where I'm resting my head! Stitch moves her pillows and sees a photo of Lilo's parents that Lilo is quite possessive of. She grabs the photo and tells him, "Be careful of that! You don't touch this! Don't ever touch it!" With all due respect to Lilo, maybe she should keep that picture in a more secure place. 

Jumba and Peakley are spending their first night on Earth camping outside. Peakley is excited when a mosquito lands on him and says, "This mosquito has chosen me as her perch." Then another one, and another one, and soon he's covered with a swarm of them.  "They like me! They're nuzzling my flesh with their noses!" He's all happy until he's not and screams in horror. It's a humorous scene because we're about to get a sad scene.

Back at the house, while Lilo is sleeping, Stitch is going through Lilo's bookshelf. One of them has the title "Roadmaps of Iowa" and I have so many questions. Why is this in the room of a little girl who lives in Hawaii and can't even drive? Were her parents planning on taking their daughters to visit Iowa and they were going to drive around the state? Maybe when you live in Hawaii, you want to visit a mundane state like Iowa. (I can say that because my parents are both from Iowa and many of my family members live there so it's basically like my second home state.) It was just so random! At first I thought that maybe one of the directors might be from Iowa, but when I looked them up I found Sanders is from Colorado and DuBlois is from Quebec. Because he has no decency for other people's property, Stitch is just tearing out pages of the books he's looking at. The fourth book he takes off the shelf has a drawing of a duck on the cover. He wakes Lilo and points at an illustration in the book. She tells him, "That's The Ugly Duckling." The page he's pointing to shows the duck crying, "I'm lost!" and looking distressed. Lilo explains to him, "See? He's sad because he's all alone and nobody wants him." The camera pans over to the next page where the duck is shown literally reunited with his family. Gee, that got resolved awfully quickly! No suspense at all! That made me laugh. Lilo explains this much happier page (right next to the super sad page! Now that's whiplash for your emotions!) to Stitch: "But on this page, his family hears him crying and they find him. Then the Ugly Duckling is happy because he knows where he belongs." I think we just figured out the theme to this movie! 

The next day Cobra Bubbles comes back to the house a tells Nani he heard she lost her job. She tells him she quit because "the hours are just not conducive to the challenge of raising a child." Stitch throws a book at him and when he asks what "that thing" is, Lilo delightfully exclaims, "My puppy!" He tells her the next time he comes, he wants her dog to become "a model citizen." 

Now I should mention that for some unexplained reason, Lilo is a huge fan of the King. I mentioned earlier she was listening to Elvis when she had locked her sister out of the house and she discovers if she hooks Stitch up to the record player and open his mouth, it will play her Elvis record. We get a montage of Elvis singing "Devil in Disguise" (a perfect song for Stitch!) as Nani is looking for a new job. At the same time, Lilo is teaching Stitch to be a "model citizen." (Why a pet needs to be a model citizen is beyond me. Pets can't understand that concept!) Lilo takes out a photograph of Elvis and tells Stitch, "Elvis Presley was a model citizen. I've compiled a list of his traits for you to practice." What made me laugh is that the picture was a real-life picture of Elvis; it wasn't a cartoon drawing of him. It reminded me of when they would use real life photographs on South Park. The traits Stitch learns includes dancing and playing the guitar. I have no idea how this is supposed to make him a "model citizen." Hey, Lilo, how about you tell your "dog" not to throw things at people? 

Everytime Nani finds a possible new job prospect, it gets ruined because of Stitch causing shenanigans. 

 

David takes the sisters and Stitch surfing while Jumba and Pleakley spy on them. Jumba is wondering why Stitch is willing to go into the water. They decide to investigate and go out into the water and while surfing through a giant wave, Jumba appears through the water and grabs Stitch who's at the back of the board. 

This disrupts the balance and the girls fall off and pop up in the water. Stitch also pops up and Jumba grabs him from underwater. Stitch starts to panic when he's taken under and takes Lilo with him. David and Nani dive down and Jumba lets go of Stitch and hides in the murky water. Nani kicks Stitch so he lets go of Lilo and she brings her up to the surface. Stitch is sinking, but David manages to grab him.  

Cobra Bubbles is on the beach (he always seems to be around at the worst times) and Nani tries to explain what happened. He tells her "I know you're trying, but you need to think about what's best for Lilo. Even if it removes you from the pictures." He tells her he'll be back tomorrow morning for Lilo. 

After the two sister leave, David says to Stitch (I love that Lilo just leaves her new pet behind, but I get it was done for purposes), "I really believed they had a chance...then you came along." At least Stitch has the decency to look guilty. 

Stitch finds a photo of Lilo and Nani with their parents and Lilo explains her parents died in a car crash when it was raining. She asks, "What happened to yours?" Then it gets really sad when she tells him, "I hear you cry at night. Do you have dreams about them?" She tells him their family is small and they don't have many toys, "but if you want, you could be part of it." Stitch grabs The Ugly Duckling from his bed and starts to head to the window. She tells him their family's motto: "Ohana means family. "Family" means nobody gets left behind. But if you want to leave, you can." He hops out the window and a sad Lilo tells him, "I'll remember you though...I remember everyone who leaves." Of course she's looking at a photo of her dead parents as she's saying this. Damnit, Lilo, stop making me cry! 

The first time we hear Stitch speak actual English is about an hour into the movie when he opens the book outside to the page he had shown Lilo earlier. He attempts to say "I'm lost", just like the little duckling had uttered. 

Meanwhile, the Councilwoman has been keeping tabs on the Earthbound aliens to see if they've captured 626 yet. When she is not satisfied with their answer, she tells them they'll be "prison bound" and that she will be sending Captain Gantu. We met Captain Gantu at the beginning of the movie and he's a giant, intimidating alien who looks like he has a shark head and elephant hooves. And when I say he's giant, he's easily as tall as a tree. 

After receiving the threatening call, Jumba sneaks up on Stitch (who is reading the book) with a ray gun and tells him to come with him. Stitch tells him he's waiting for his family (like the Ugly Duckling) and Jumba tells him he doesn't have one because he (Stitch) was created by Jumba himself. The way Stitch drops his face is so sad! He says, "Maybe...I could", but Jumba tells him, You're built to destroy. You can never belong." Seriously, why would you make something that was meant to destroy everything so adorable? Stitch runs away. 

This has all happened in one night and the next morning a sad Lilo tells a sad Nani that Stitch is gone and that it's good he is gone because "he didn't want to be here, anyway." 

David arrives and tells Nani that he thinks he found her a job. Apparently she has to leave with him right now for the interview and she tells Lilo to "stay here for a few minutes", meaning their house. 

Soon after Nani leaves with David, a very scared Stitch runs into the houses. Jumba also barges in and tells him, "Hiding behind your little friend won't work anymore." Now that his freedom is on the line, Jumba is ready to destroy anyone and anything in his path. 

Stitch is scattering on top of the ceiling as Jumba is shooing his ray gun (or whatever kind of inter-galatical weapon he has) and from outside Pleakley can see the roof being destroyed. Stitch's super strength is demonstrated when he picks up Jumba (who looks like he has a few extra pounds on him) and throws him out the window, thus destroying the house even more. 

Pleakley shows up to make sure Lilo is okay. While he's distracting Jumba, Lilo calls Mr. Bubbles and tells him, "Aliens are attacking my house. They want my dog!" During that, Stitch throws a Volkswagen and exclaims "Punch buggy!" as he hits Jumba with it. 

Somehow the entire house ends up just exploding. Lilo and Pleakley make it out, but Stitch and Jumba were still inside, but managed to survive. No surprise about Stitch since he's indestructible. 

Nani is done with her interview and she has gotten the job, though I'm sure in a few short minutes she's soon going to regret leaving Lilo alone (though I don't think Nani could have stopped any of this even if she was there). When she steps outside, she sees a firetruck racing right by her. Once it turns in the direction of her house, she knows it's headed there. She runs back to see Lilo describing one of the aliens to Mr. Bubbles who puts her in his car. Lilo just scoots across the seat and opens the door on the other side and runs away into the woods when she realizes that she's being taken away from her sister. 

Stitch finds her and shows her the photo of her and her sister with their parents he founds in the wreckage. She takes it and tells him, "You ruined everything." I mean, she's not technically wrong.

Stitch shows her his true alien self...the tentacles, the extra pair of arms, the weird spiny thing on his back. All this confirms to Lilo is that he is "one of them" and she tells him to "get out of here." In the distance, Gantu shoots a gun at them and captures them in a large net. They must live in a lowly populated area because nobody sees to notice this gigantic extra terrestrial just roaming around their island, easily taller than the tree line. Is nobody even concerned about this? 

Nani can't miss him when she's looking for Lilo and screams when she sees him (which would be the same reaction I would have!). She scurries behind a tree and sees him drop Lilo and Stitch into a glass capsule and attaches it to a space ship, calling Lilo "a little snack". Stitch manges to somehow squeeze out of it and falls to the ground before the ship gets too far off the ground, but Lilo is still in there which must be terrifying for Nani. 

She demands Stitch to start talking and tell her where Lilo's headed, but before he can say anything, he's captured by Jumba. She asks them where Lilo is and Jumba pretends not to know who she is talking about. Nani shouts at them, describing her sister and at the end, adds, "and she hangs around with that thing!" while pointing at Stitch. She demands them to bring her back and Peakley tells her they can't do that because it would be "a misuse of Galactic resources" and Jumba tells her they're just there to get Stitch. Okay, I just thought of something random: do you think Jumba was molded after Jabba the Hut? They're both fat, ugly aliens and Jumba does sound similar to Jabba. 

Nani falls to the ground, sobbing. Jumba tells the other two aliens to follow him, but Stitch walks over to her and repeats Lilo's family mantra: "Ohana means 'family'...family means 'Nobody gets left behind.'" It doesn't take much convincing (like none at all) but Stitch persuades Jumba to help them rescue Lilo. 

They get into a spaceship that is much bigger than the one Gantu is navigating (you'd think the giant alien would control the larger spacecraft) and once he realizes he's being followed, be starts shooting lasers at them as they dodge him. 

Then we get this whole ridiculous scene where Stitch is trying to save Lilo. It involves him crashing onto land, then he hijacks a semi and drives it into a volcano where the lava sprays him up on Gantu's ship. I have to admit, all the outer space stuff makes my eyes glaze over. He rescues Lilo and it's kinda weird because he's holding her in his arms, almost like a romantic thing a couple would do. She says, "You came back" and he kisses her on the cheek and tells her, "Nobody gets left behind." I wish they had done this so it wasn't....so weird.

They crash into the ocean, but are brought back to the shore where all the characters are there to meet them: the Councilwoman, Bubbles, David. Stitch is told he has to go in the ship, but the Councilwoman allows him to say his goodbyes. He introduces the two sisters as his family. He has to go because that is their planet's law. Bubbles thinks of a loophole and reminds Lilo that she bought Stitch at the animal shelter and she understands what he's implying. She runs up to the councilwoman and shows her the receipt of when she bough Stitch for two dollars (which she just so happened to conveniently have because she's always wearing the same dress!) and tells the alien, "I own him. If you take him, you're stealing." 

This seems to satisfy the Councilwoman. She grabs Stitch and announces, "This creature has been sentenced to life in exile, a sentence that shall be henceforth served out here on Earth." She adds that his new family is "now under the official protection of the United Galactic Fedearation" and they'll be "checking in now and then." 

We find out Bubbles was part of the CIA and had met the Councilwoman in Rosewell in 1973. In a full circle moment, we discover he's the one who convinced an alien race that mosquitoes were an endangered species. Haha, so I have to tell you something amusing. After I write my review, I'll proofread it to make sure my grammar is correct and I'm using the correct words. Sometimes I type so fast that the autofill will automatically put in a different word that I intended to use. While proofreading this last paragraph, it had read "mosquitoes were an endeared species." Ha! Mosquitoes? An endeared species? It's funny because it's so not true. 

The Councilwoman boards her spaceship to head back to Turo. Before she does, she tells her crew to make sure Peakley and Jumba don't board the same ship. I thought this meant they would just take another spacecraft back to their home planet, but they seem to stay on Earth. The movie ends with them helping Lilo, Nani, Stitch, David, and Mr. Bubbles rebuilding the house as Wynona Judd sings a cover of Burning Love. (Lord, almighty, I feel my temperature rising...), then we see a montage of clips and photos from around the year. The one with all of them (including Bubbles, David, and Peakley and Jumba) at the Thanksgiving table with Stitch presenting a turkey had me cracking up. I think this is because it's a take on a famous Norman Rockwell painting as you can see:

*The other movie from 2002 about aliens having an aversion to water was Signs. I'm pretty sure 99% of people reading this already knew that, or maybe I just assumed that most people know that because I feel like that is common movie knowledge. In fact, I would assume that was the more obvious movie about aliens' aversion to water as everyone seems to bring up what a stupid plot point it is (I need to review that movie someday!) whereas I think it's easy to forget about in Lilo and Stitch. 

**I made this stupid joke because Daveigh Chase, who voiced Lilo, was the creepy little girl demon (or whatever she's supposed to be) in The Ring. 

Lohanissance

Freakier Friday

Director: Nisha Ganatra

Cast: Lindsay Lohan, Jamie Lee Curtis, Julia Butters, Sophia Hammons, Manny Jacinto, Chad Michael Murray, Mark Harmon, Vanessa Bayer

Released: August 8, 2025

Viewed in theaters: August 13, 2025

When I reviewed the 1976 Freaky Friday and its 2003 remake almost ten years ago, I said that the 2003 version was far superior and I still stand by that. I really like the 2003 movie with Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis and was excited when I found out there would be a sequel and of course I had to see it. While I did enjoy it, the original (as in the 2003 film, not the '76 movie just so we're clear!) is still better. One thing I didn't know about the 2003 version (or maybe I did know, but just forgot, but it wasn't something I mentioned in my review) is that they asked Jodie Foster to play the mom, but she passed. To be honest, I'm kind of glad she did. For one thing, I can't see anyone as the mom but Jamie Lee Curtis. (Though I also learned that Annette Bening was originally cast as the mom, but had to drop out.) Jodie Foster is a great actress (she's got two Oscars!), but she's not known for her comedic roles. Silence of the Lambs?? Definitely not a comedy! The Accused? Have you seen that? Most definitely not a comedy! I've never seen Contact or Nell (I know, deep cuts there), but I'm guessing those aren't comedies either! It would have been fun if they had done a reverse Panic Room and Jodie Foster had a cameo as someone on the phone...or even as a patient of Tess's. (I call it a reverse Panic Room because Nicole Kidman was supposed to be in that movie, but wasn't able to, so she had a cameo on the phone as Jodie's character's ex's new wife.) So yeah, I'm glad they kept the two Freaky Friday movies separate...as they should be! 

Freakier Friday shares a lot of DNA with its 2003 counterpart. In the first movie, Tess (Jamie Lee Curtis) is getting married and in this movie, Anna (Lindsay Lohan) is getting married! Like, could they at least try to come up with something new? Freakier Friday is a little more convoluted because it involves four people who get body swapped, but it's really not that complicated; it just sometimes doesn't make sense. Having Anna and Tess switch bodies like they did in the first movie, really wouldn't make sense since Anna is in her 30s now. Both women are mothers and are responsible adults with jobs...it would be a bit of a boring movie if they switched again. No, we need to bring in some more teens. Anna has a daughter, Harper (Julia Butters), who she's raising as a single parent, but Tess is helping her co-parent her (I think that's the word she used). I don't remember if they said how old she is, but I'm guessing she's probably supposed to be fifteen, like Anna was in the first movie. There's a new girl at school who Harper can't stand. Lily (Sophie Hammons) is British and she acts like she's better than everyone else and brags about her French model boyfriend (who, spoiler alert, isn't real). The girls get into a fight during a science experiment and ruin the classroom and Anna and Lily's dad, Eric (Manny Jacinto) are both called to the school for their daughter's behavior and it's pretty much love at first sight. It's pretty ridiculous and the movie knows it as the teacher calls a restaurant for them and sets them up on a date. We then get a obligatory montage of them going on dates and falling in love until they're engaged and neither girl is thrilled about this, obviously. I much prefer the original when Tess was already engaged to Ryan. I understand why they did it this way, but it's ridiculous these two people are moving this fast. 

So throughout about the first third of the movie, it was driving me crazy because I was trying to place who Eric was. I knew I recognized him from some show or movie I had seen him in. Then, it suddenly hit me that he looked an awful lot like Jason from The Good Place and when I got home that was indeed him. I think it took me awhile to place him because this character is so different from his character in The Good Place (and if you've seen that show, you know what I mean!) and he has a British accent (for some reason) in this one. At first, I thought they made him British since maybe the actress who plays his daughter is British in real life, but no, she's American. There is a plot point where the two adults are wondering if they should move to London or stay in Los Angeles. Can't they just make Lily and her dad be from New York? It's still a long way to move. 

So the way the switch happens is when everyone's at Anna's bachelorette party and a palm reader named Madame Jen (played by Vanessa Bayer) is there as a fun little novelty. Well, turns out her powers are stronger than she even knows and after reciting some mantra (which I can't remember because I've only seen this movie once (I usually am able to watch my movies on streaming platforms so I can watch with subtitles!), an earthquake appears that only the four females can feel and Anna and Tess share a look like, I hope that's not what we think it is, then both shake their heads. They both clearly have PTSD from what happened 22 years ago! 

So of course the switch happens at midnight and like I mentioned before, it's a little more convoluted than the first movie, but really not that convoluted. Anna and Harper have switched bodies. This makes sense that Anna, now a mother, has switched bodies with her daughter as she was the daughter who switched bodies with her mother in the first movie. But for some inexplicable reason, Tess and Lily switch places. Okay, I get that they don't want Tess and Anna switching bodies again because it's more fun when a kid is an adults body and vice versa and Anna and Harper make sense switching bodies, so that leaves only Tess and Lily to switch bodies, but yeah, I'm sorry, it makes no f***ing sense. Maybe I need to dig deeper to see if I can find a podcast or review that will make me change my mind about that, but I haven't come across anything so far. 

So now Tess and Anna are in the bodies of the two teenaged girls and while they're trying to remain calm and are discussing that they need to find Madame Jen, in the background we see Harper and Lily, now in the bodies of the two adult women run across the room and smack right into each other. Seeing Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan repeat this scene from the first is a really funny callback to the first movie...BUT it really doesn't make sense. If Harper is in her mom's body, then why would she try to collide with Lily who's in her grandmother's body? Yeah, makes no sense. 

I do think the way this scene was done in the first movie is way better and much funnier. There's also the fact that it was just two people and they were freaking out, but also knew they couldn't tell anybody what had happened. In this movie, Harper and Lily are freaked out, but they don't seem that freaked out to me. In fact, both teen girls in their adult women bodies seem to think this might be a great way for them to get what they want: have their parents break up. 

So the high school girls spend their day trapped in the bodies of older women (one, a woman in her mid-thirties, and another in her late sixties, but knowing high school kids, they probably think anyone over the age of 28 is ancient!) and the two grown ups spend their day as teen girls.

Anna and Tess, trapped in the body of the high school students have some amusing moments, but we're really here to watch Lohan and Curtis, so I'll just quickly try to remember as much as I can from their day: they go to school and are sent to detention and I can't remember why. Something involving a food fight, but I can't remember how it all started. Stephen Tobolowsky is one of many people from the first movie who came back for this movie. Remember, he played Mr. Bates who had a grudge against Anna because he once asked Tess out in high school and she rejected him. That's such a petty thing. Of course the girls recognize him and are surprised he's still teaching there. I would be surprised too because he's in his 70s! 

Other people who are back from the first movie include Mark Harmon as Ryan, Tess's husband, Anna's younger brother makes an appearance at her wedding reception, her old band mates from Pink Slip, and of course, Chad Michael Murray as whatshisface. But we'll get to him in a minute. Even the mother and daughter from the Chinese restaurant where the whole thing started in the first movie make an appearance at Anna's bachelorette party. It's nice to know she doesn't hold a grudge against the mother for what happened a couple decades ago! 

Back to Anna and Tess who are being portrayed by the young actresses. There is a funny moment when they're outside (somehow, the entire detention class convinced Mr. Bates to move detention outside) and they want to try to escape and they look over and see something that will help with their escape. Well, the camera shows a shot of two motorcycles and I was thinking they were going to take those, but in the next scene they're riding scooters. Being that they're two adults trapped in teen bodies, they're being very responsible. The only sign of rebellion is when they go crazy with all the junk food they eat because, hey, why not. This is also a callback to the first movie when Tess, in Anna's body, goes crazy with the fries.

Meanwhile, Harper and Lily (you know, Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis) decide the best way to split up their parents is to try to get Harper's mom back with her old high school boyfriend, Jake (oh, yeah, that's his name). They find him on Facebook, something "only old people use" according to Harper. (Heh, she's not wrong. I actually remember when you had to have a college e-mail to use it. Also, if you think the Facebook reference is dated, I'm pretty sure they make a MySpace reference in the 2003 movie. Now that's antiquated!) They find out he works at a record shop and there's another joke about listening to a band that only old people like and that band is Coldplay. Lindsay Lohan as Harper is "flirting" with Jake and it's the most awkward, excruciating thing ever. He's very confused because he knows she's engaged and as far as I remember, they don't really keep in touch anymore. Though I don't know if that moment was more awkward then when he sees Tess and is asking her if her husband was still around. You remember how he had a connection with Tess in the first movie, but of course that was because it was actually Anna. It could also be that Jake is into older women. 

Anna is a music producer and on this particular day there is a photoshoot with a singer named Ella. Harper and Lily, in their adult bodies, decide to crash the photoshoot and we get a montage of Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis wearing crazy outfits and posing with the young singer. Earlier, Harper had found a song her mom wrote a few years ago and she assumed it was a love song her mom had written about Jake. 

There's a moment when the girls are in a car with Lily in Tess's body driving  and being that they're teen girls who haven't learned to drive yet, they drive very erratically. At one point they stop next to another car where there's a teen boy in the back seat and Lily starts flirting with him. I guess she forgot she was in the body of a 60-something woman? It reminded me of that scene in 13 Going on 30 when Judy Greer tells Jennifer Garner that this hot guy is checking her out (I think they're at a restaurant, it's been a minute since I've seen that movie) but Jennifer (who started the movie as a thirteen-year-old (you've all seen the movie or go read the review if you don't know what it's about!) thinks she's talking about the teen boy who's sitting nearby and she goes over to flirt with him. It's so cringe! 

Anna and Eric are supposed to have an interview with an immigration officer (oh, is this why they make them British?) and Harper, as her mother, is ready to fail miserably, but then she realizes how much Eric loves her mother because he knows the answer to everything, even obscure questions. She does not sabotage the interview as initially planned. She is coming around to her mom and Eric getting married, but that may be because Eric told her (thinking she's Anna) that it would be best for all of them to stay in Los Angeles. 

Lily is still determined to ruin the wedding and invites Jake to the rehearsal wedding. (Oh, yeah, the wedding is the next day, much like the first movie's "freaky Friday" happened the day before Tess's and Ryan's wedding.) Eric ends up calling off the wedding and to be honest, I can't remember exactly why. I don't think it's only because Jake was there. 

Lily has a heart-to-heart with Tess and realizes that she wants her dad to be happy so she talks to him (as Tess, because remember that's who's body she's in) and convinces him that he shouldn't throw away what he has with Anna.

Meanwhile, Anna has been invited to the concert Ella is performing that night because her old bandmates from Pink Slip are going to perform (maybe they've collaborated with Ella? IDK) so both she and Harper go, because obviously the real Anna is in Harper's body so she's going to need to hide backstage while her daughter performs onstage as herself. You think this is another callback to the first movie when Jamie Lee Curtis, portraying Anna, is backstage playing the electric guitar while Lindsay Lohan, portraying her mother, is onstage pretending to play the electric guitar during the scene when Pink Slip is performing "Take Me Away", that one song that seems to be their only song because they always play it. It's kinda like how The Wonders from That Thing You Do! always performed "That Thing You Do!" Anyway, the movie does NOT do what we were expecting and Harper (as Anna) invites her "daughter" (actually her mother, God, this movie is confusing when you're trying to explain it!) to sing "Baby" with her. Why does she invite her out on stage with her? Because just moments earlier, Harper found out that the song she thought her mom wrote about her former boyfriend was actually about her. The song is called "Baby" so she thought it was being used as a term of affection. (Personally, I've always hated when people call their significant others "baby" because it skeeves me out...the only time I'm willing to let it go if it's used in a song.) But, no, "Baby" is about her literal baby. If this girl had just listened to the lyrics, she probably would have figured it out. 

Anyway, Eric ends up at the concert and he and Anna end up together. By the time they are reunited, everyone has switched back to their rightful bodies. I honestly don't remember anything that happened after that, but everyone is happy and all is good in the world again. At least, in their world. I still think the 2003 movie is better than the 1976 original film and this movie.