Lohanissance

Freakier Friday

Director: Nisha Ganatra

Cast: Lindsay Lohan, Jamie Lee Curtis, Julia Butters, Sophia Hammons, Manny Jacinto, Chad Michael Murray, Mark Harmon, Vanessa Bayer

Released: August 8, 2025

Viewed in theaters: August 13, 2025

When I reviewed the 1976 Freaky Friday and its 2003 remake almost ten years ago, I said that the 2003 version was far superior and I still stand by that. I really like the 2003 movie with Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis and was excited when I found out there would be a sequel and of course I had to see it. While I did enjoy it, the original (as in the 2003 film, not the '76 movie just so we're clear!) is still better. One thing I didn't know about the 2003 version (or maybe I did know, but just forgot, but it wasn't something I mentioned in my review) is that they asked Jodie Foster to play the mom, but she passed. To be honest, I'm kind of glad she did. For one thing, I can't see anyone as the mom but Jamie Lee Curtis. (Though I also learned that Annette Bening was originally cast as the mom, but had to drop out.) Jodie Foster is a great actress (she's got two Oscars!), but she's not known for her comedic roles. Silence of the Lambs?? Definitely not a comedy! The Accused? Have you seen that? Most definitely not a comedy! I've never seen Contact or Nell (I know, deep cuts there), but I'm guessing those aren't comedies either! It would have been fun if they had done a reverse Panic Room and Jodie Foster had a cameo as someone on the phone...or even as a patient of Tess's. (I call it a reverse Panic Room because Nicole Kidman was supposed to be in that movie, but wasn't able to, so she had a cameo on the phone as Jodie's character's ex's new wife.) So yeah, I'm glad they kept the two Freaky Friday movies separate...as they should be! 

Freakier Friday shares a lot of DNA with its 2003 counterpart. In the first movie, Tess (Jamie Lee Curtis) is getting married and in this movie, Anna (Lindsay Lohan) is getting married! Like, could they at least try to come up with something new? Freakier Friday is a little more convoluted because it involves four people who get body swapped, but it's really not that complicated; it just sometimes doesn't make sense. Having Anna and Tess switch bodies like they did in the first movie, really wouldn't make sense since Anna is in her 30s now. Both women are mothers and are responsible adults with jobs...it would be a bit of a boring movie if they switched again. No, we need to bring in some more teens. Anna has a daughter, Harper (Julia Butters), who she's raising as a single parent, but Tess is helping her co-parent her (I think that's the word she used). I don't remember if they said how old she is, but I'm guessing she's probably supposed to be fifteen, like Anna was in the first movie. There's a new girl at school who Harper can't stand. Lily (Sophie Hammons) is British and she acts like she's better than everyone else and brags about her French model boyfriend (who, spoiler alert, isn't real). The girls get into a fight during a science experiment and ruin the classroom and Anna and Lily's dad, Eric (Manny Jacinto) are both called to the school for their daughter's behavior and it's pretty much love at first sight. It's pretty ridiculous and the movie knows it as the teacher calls a restaurant for them and sets them up on a date. We then get a obligatory montage of them going on dates and falling in love until they're engaged and neither girl is thrilled about this, obviously. I much prefer the original when Tess was already engaged to Ryan. I understand why they did it this way, but it's ridiculous these two people are moving this fast. 

So throughout about the first third of the movie, it was driving me crazy because I was trying to place who Eric was. I knew I recognized him from some show or movie I had seen him in. Then, it suddenly hit me that he looked an awful lot like Jason from The Good Place and when I got home that was indeed him. I think it took me awhile to place him because this character is so different from his character in The Good Place (and if you've seen that show, you know what I mean!) and he has a British accent (for some reason) in this one. At first, I thought they made him British since maybe the actress who plays his daughter is British in real life, but no, she's American. There is a plot point where the two adults are wondering if they should move to London or stay in Los Angeles. Can't they just make Lily and her dad be from New York? It's still a long way to move. 

So the way the switch happens is when everyone's at Anna's bachelorette party and a palm reader named Madame Jen (played by Vanessa Bayer) is there as a fun little novelty. Well, turns out her powers are stronger than she even knows and after reciting some mantra (which I can't remember because I've only seen this movie once (I usually am able to watch my movies on streaming platforms so I can watch with subtitles!), an earthquake appears that only the four females can feel and Anna and Tess share a look like, I hope that's not what we think it is, then both shake their heads. They both clearly have PTSD from what happened 22 years ago! 

So of course the switch happens at midnight and like I mentioned before, it's a little more convoluted than the first movie, but really not that convoluted. Anna and Harper have switched bodies. This makes sense that Anna, now a mother, has switched bodies with her daughter as she was the daughter who switched bodies with her mother in the first movie. But for some inexplicable reason, Tess and Lily switch places. Okay, I get that they don't want Tess and Anna switching bodies again because it's more fun when a kid is an adults body and vice versa and Anna and Harper make sense switching bodies, so that leaves only Tess and Lily to switch bodies, but yeah, I'm sorry, it makes no f***ing sense. Maybe I need to dig deeper to see if I can find a podcast or review that will make me change my mind about that, but I haven't come across anything so far. 

So now Tess and Anna are in the bodies of the two teenaged girls and while they're trying to remain calm and are discussing that they need to find Madame Jen, in the background we see Harper and Lily, now in the bodies of the two adult women run across the room and smack right into each other. Seeing Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan repeat this scene from the first is a really funny callback to the first movie...BUT it really doesn't make sense. If Harper is in her mom's body, then why would she try to collide with Lily who's in her grandmother's body? Yeah, makes no sense. 

I do think the way this scene was done in the first movie is way better and much funnier. There's also the fact that it was just two people and they were freaking out, but also knew they couldn't tell anybody what had happened. In this movie, Harper and Lily are freaked out, but they don't seem that freaked out to me. In fact, both teen girls in their adult women bodies seem to think this might be a great way for them to get what they want: have their parents break up. 

So the high school girls spend their day trapped in the bodies of older women (one, a woman in her mid-thirties, and another in her late sixties, but knowing high school kids, they probably think anyone over the age of 28 is ancient!) and the two grown ups spend their day as teen girls.

Anna and Tess, trapped in the body of the high school students have some amusing moments, but we're really here to watch Lohan and Curtis, so I'll just quickly try to remember as much as I can from their day: they go to school and are sent to detention and I can't remember why. Something involving a food fight, but I can't remember how it all started. Stephen Tobolowsky is one of many people from the first movie who came back for this movie. Remember, he played Mr. Bates who had a grudge against Anna because he once asked Tess out in high school and she rejected him. That's such a petty thing. Of course the girls recognize him and are surprised he's still teaching there. I would be surprised too because he's in his 70s! 

Other people who are back from the first movie include Mark Harmon as Ryan, Tess's husband, Anna's younger brother makes an appearance at her wedding reception, her old band mates from Pink Slip, and of course, Chad Michael Murray as whatshisface. But we'll get to him in a minute. Even the mother and daughter from the Chinese restaurant where the whole thing started in the first movie make an appearance at Anna's bachelorette party. It's nice to know she doesn't hold a grudge against the mother for what happened a couple decades ago! 

Back to Anna and Tess who are being portrayed by the young actresses. There is a funny moment when they're outside (somehow, the entire detention class convinced Mr. Bates to move detention outside) and they want to try to escape and they look over and see something that will help with their escape. Well, the camera shows a shot of two motorcycles and I was thinking they were going to take those, but in the next scene they're riding scooters. Being that they're two adults trapped in teen bodies, they're being very responsible. The only sign of rebellion is when they go crazy with all the junk food they eat because, hey, why not. This is also a callback to the first movie when Tess, in Anna's body, goes crazy with the fries.

Meanwhile, Harper and Lily (you know, Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis) decide the best way to split up their parents is to try to get Harper's mom back with her old high school boyfriend, Jake (oh, yeah, that's his name). They find him on Facebook, something "only old people use" according to Harper. (Heh, she's not wrong. I actually remember when you had to have a college e-mail to use it. Also, if you think the Facebook reference is dated, I'm pretty sure they make a MySpace reference in the 2003 movie. Now that's antiquated!) They find out he works at a record shop and there's another joke about listening to a band that only old people like and that band is Coldplay. Lindsay Lohan as Harper is "flirting" with Jake and it's the most awkward, excruciating thing ever. He's very confused because he knows she's engaged and as far as I remember, they don't really keep in touch anymore. Though I don't know if that moment was more awkward then when he sees Tess and is asking her if her husband was still around. You remember how he had a connection with Tess in the first movie, but of course that was because it was actually Anna. It could also be that Jake is into older women. 

Anna is a music producer and on this particular day there is a photoshoot with a singer named Ella. Harper and Lily, in their adult bodies, decide to crash the photoshoot and we get a montage of Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis wearing crazy outfits and posing with the young singer. Earlier, Harper had found a song her mom wrote a few years ago and she assumed it was a love song her mom had written about Jake. 

There's a moment when the girls are in a car with Lily in Tess's body driving  and being that they're teen girls who haven't learned to drive yet, they drive very erratically. At one point they stop next to another car where there's a teen boy in the back seat and Lily starts flirting with him. I guess she forgot she was in the body of a 60-something woman? It reminded me of that scene in 13 Going on 30 when Judy Greer tells Jennifer Garner that this hot guy is checking her out (I think they're at a restaurant, it's been a minute since I've seen that movie) but Jennifer (who started the movie as a thirteen-year-old (you've all seen the movie or go read the review if you don't know what it's about!) thinks she's talking about the teen boy who's sitting nearby and she goes over to flirt with him. It's so cringe! 

Anna and Eric are supposed to have an interview with an immigration officer (oh, is this why they make them British?) and Harper, as her mother, is ready to fail miserably, but then she realizes how much Eric loves her mother because he knows the answer to everything, even obscure questions. She does not sabotage the interview as initially planned. She is coming around to her mom and Eric getting married, but that may be because Eric told her (thinking she's Anna) that it would be best for all of them to stay in Los Angeles. 

Lily is still determined to ruin the wedding and invites Jake to the rehearsal wedding. (Oh, yeah, the wedding is the next day, much like the first movie's "freaky Friday" happened the day before Tess's and Ryan's wedding.) Eric ends up calling off the wedding and to be honest, I can't remember exactly why. I don't think it's only because Jake was there. 

Lily has a heart-to-heart with Tess and realizes that she wants her dad to be happy so she talks to him (as Tess, because remember that's who's body she's in) and convinces him that he shouldn't throw away what he has with Anna.

Meanwhile, Anna has been invited to the concert Ella is performing that night because her old bandmates from Pink Slip are going to perform (maybe they've collaborated with Ella? IDK) so both she and Harper go, because obviously the real Anna is in Harper's body so she's going to need to hide backstage while her daughter performs onstage as herself. You think this is another callback to the first movie when Jamie Lee Curtis, portraying Anna, is backstage playing the electric guitar while Lindsay Lohan, portraying her mother, is onstage pretending to play the electric guitar during the scene when Pink Slip is performing "Take Me Away", that one song that seems to be their only song because they always play it. It's kinda like how The Wonders from That Thing You Do! always performed "That Thing You Do!" Anyway, the movie does NOT do what we were expecting and Harper (as Anna) invites her "daughter" (actually her mother, God, this movie is confusing when you're trying to explain it!) to sing "Baby" with her. Why does she invite her out on stage with her? Because just moments earlier, Harper found out that the song she thought her mom wrote about her former boyfriend was actually about her. The song is called "Baby" so she thought it was being used as a term of affection. (Personally, I've always hated when people call their significant others "baby" because it skeeves me out...the only time I'm willing to let it go if it's used in a song.) But, no, "Baby" is about her literal baby. If this girl had just listened to the lyrics, she probably would have figured it out. 

Anyway, Eric ends up at the concert and he and Anna end up together. By the time they are reunited, everyone has switched back to their rightful bodies. I honestly don't remember anything that happened after that, but everyone is happy and all is good in the world again. At least, in their world. I still think the 2003 movie is better than the 1976 original film and this movie. 

An Incredibly Bad Sequel

Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco

Director: David R. Willis

Voice Talent: Michael J. Fox, Sally Field, Ralph Waite, Sinbad, Carla Gugino, Stephen Tobolowsky

Released: March 8, 1996

Without a SHADOW of a doubt, the first movie is so much better. There is no CHANCE that anyone would like the sequel better. If you like this movie better, you're barking up the wrong tree. You may think I'm being SASSY, but it's the truth! Ha, see what I did there?

Back in 2016, I reviewed Homeward Bound, a movie from my childhood that I have very fond memories of. After all, I was a young redhead with my own Himalayan cat! Three years after that movie came out, a sequel was made, and, well, it's not very good. In fact, it's pretty bad. Infuriating, really. Yes, this movie made me so mad, and, oh, trust me, I'll get into the many reasons of why it irked me so much. The first reason is because it was unnecessary. There was absolutely no need for a sequel, but I guess since the first one was so beloved and money talks, they made a sequel.

Let's get reacquainted with everyone, shall we? The Burnford/Seaver family is now living in San Francisco (remember, they moved there in the first movie). Bob married Laura and became the stepfather of Peter, Hope, and Jamie. In my review of the first movie, I made a comment that "I got the sense" that Jamie was Peter's biological son. I rewatched the Homeward Bound and I'm not sure why I ever thought that! In fact, Chance tells us that Jamie is Laura's little boy. 

All the kids each have their own pet: Chance (voiced by Michael J. Fox), the rambuctious American bulldog belongs to Jamie (who is maybe 7 or 8?; I'm really bad at trying to guess ages). Sassy (voiced by Sally Field), the Himalayan cat (and who lives up to her name!) belongs to Hope (who is 12/13?) and Shadow, the loyal and old golden retriever, belong to Peter (who is 15/16?). In the first movie, Shadow was voiced by Don Ameche, in one of his last roles. In this movie, Shadow is voiced by Ralph Waite. I think his voice work was fine, but he's no Don Ameche! Also, they kept saying how old Shadow was in the first movie and I'm assuming the sequel takes place in real time, so three years have passed, so how old is he here? 

So in this movie, they need to have the pets be separated from the family and try to find their way back. The movie, after all, is called Homeward Bound. I can only imagine that the writers were racking their brains trying to think of how to make that happen. Let me explain what they came up with, then I'll add my own comments and why I think it's stupid:

The family is flying to Canada to go camping and they're bringing the three pets.

Okay, now for my commentary (which will be a lot longer!): First of all, we are never told where in Canada they're going, we just hear they're going to Canada which is hilarious. Like, are they going all the way to Quebec from San Francisco? I'm guessing they went somewhere in British Colombia. I suppose they're going camping because it would make more sense to take the dogs with them. Dogs, not their cat. Why are they bringing Sassy? That seems just like a terrible idea. There's a reason when you go camping or visit National Parks you see dogs, but not cats. I understand they need her for part of the plot, just as I understand they have the family visit Canada be part of the plot because they need to fly to their destination. But this is another part of the problem I have. This family is going camping with their pets, right? They live in San Francisco. California is full of National and State Parks. Just drive to one of those, especially if you want to take your pets with you. This family is so stupid. 

But before we head to the airport to head to Canada, let's set up some key elements for the plot. Chance wants to play with Jamie, but Jamie can't play because he has baseball practice so Chance just follows him to the field. Some of the other kids' dogs are there too and those dogs can also talk. There are three dogs who are doing commentary for the game: Sparky Michael the Collie (voiced by Al Michaels), Lucky Lasorda the Havanese (voiced by Tommy Lasardo) and Trixie Uecker the German Shepard (voiced by Bob Uecker). Now I knew who Bob Uecker was because I know he was a sports broadcaster and played one in the Major League movies. I looked up the other two Al Michaels is a sports commentator (he's 80 years old and still doing it!) and Tommy Lasordo was a baseball player, coach, and manager of the L.A. Dodgers from 1967 -1996. Thank God for Wikipedia, am a I right? This scene should have been a warning that there would be more talking dogs to come. Be afraid, be very afraid. 

After a kid hits the ball, Chance bounds after it and grabs it, wanting to play fetch. After the kids chase him, Jamie scolds him and a girl on the opposing team scolds Jamie and tells him to keep his dumb dog off the field. Like, let's chill out, girl. Jamie isn't happy about the camping trip because he's going to miss the two most important games. Boo hoo, you're only seven years old, get over it. And, to give him credit, he does. We never hear about baseball for the rest of the movie. 

So now we're at the airport and the three pets are in their kennels, headed to be shipped on the airplane. This is something I wouldn't feel comfortable with: putting my pet on an airplane, ESPECIALLY for a one-week vacation (we're never told how long they're going to be gone, so I'm just guessing). Because Jamie has been dismissive of Chance lately, Chance is sure that they're going back to "the bad place" (is he forking crazy?) and is frantically trying to escape. He is jerking so much all over the place that his kennel drops off the conveyer belt and he is able to get out. Shadow tells Sassy they need to escape too. We see Sassy put her paw through the cage and unlatch the door while saying, "Honestly does the cat always have to be the brains of the operations?" (Luckily, my cat was asleep on the couch next to me so he didn't get any tutorial on how to escape a kennel!)

This scene gives me so much anxiety because there are three animals just running around outside at an airport, near the runways! It feels like quite a few minutes pass before an employee sees them and he shouts for someone to call security. The pets enter back through the airport through the conveyer belt where the family had checked in. It's so hilarious and so dumb that there are people everyone and they're just staring at the animals. Nobody even says anything or has much of a reaction. The pets return to the tarmac and come to the conclusion that the family must be on one of the many planes and Shadow is certain that Peter is "on that one" and they decide to sit right in the middle of the plane's path because Shadow is certain that "they'll be sure to see [them]." I guess he thinks the plane will just stop? Now, we know Shadow was an old dog in the first movie, so he must be downright senile. The Shadow from the first movie would know that was a stupid and dangerous idea. Sassy seems to be the only who is uncertain about this idea. When Shadow tells her, "Don't worry", she replies, "I'm worried." Sassy is so my spirit animal! Well, of course the plane doesn't stop and it flies into the sky, seemingly to just barely miss the animals. We get a shot of Chance who is laying down with his paws over his head. This will come back later in the movie. While all this was going on, security must have been called because we see people getting out of cars and trying to catch the pets, but they manage to escape. 

When the family arrives in...Canada, they learn the bad news that the airport lost their pets. You know the dad is thinking, Oh, God, not this again! Peter wants to go back, but Bob tells him he'll fly back in the morning so the kids can still go camping with their mom. The two older kids aren't having it and want to go back to find their pets. I can't blame them; if I were in their situation, I wouldn't have any fun if I knew my pet was missing. I'd just be worrying too much! 

The first night, the pets find a large box in an alley to sleep in. The next morning they're ready to begin their trek home. Shadow knows that if they cross "a golden bridge", then they'll be o the right track. I kind of scoffed when he said that because all they have to do is cross the Golden Gate Bridge? In the first movie, they had to cross a mountain range! (Well, maybe it was only one mountain...but still.) The stakes were so much higher in the first movie. This just seems like child's play. (Dogs' play? Cats' play? Pets' play?) 

We first get our glimpse of the "villains" of the movie: two dog-nappers in a red van stop when they see a poodle who is tied to a fire hydrant while her owner (we know she's a girl because she is voiced by a woman with a (presumably fake, excuse-moi, faux) French accent) is inside a convenience store. One of them grabs her, but the man comes out of the store and sees the guy holding his dog. The dog-napper tells the poodle's owner that he ought to be ashamed of himself because doesn't he know "there are scoundrels out here just wanting to steal a beautiful dog like this?" When he gets back inside the van, dogs are barking from the back. Obviously they are modeling these two (whose names are Jack and Ralph; I had to look that up on Wikipedia) after Jasper and Horace. 

The pets (who didn't encounter what happened with the poodle) are getting hungry, especially Sassy. She sees a house with a young boy who is holding a teeny tiny little bitty kitty. She declares, "Where there's a cat, there's cat food." That made me think of that Ralph Wiggum quote, "My cat's breath smells like cat food." That always makes me laugh because it's true! Sassy goes up to the kid who starts petting her and says, "Yes, isn't my fur long and silky?" Chance decide he's going to try to get some chow (hey, in the first movie he ate cat food!) and bounds over to the kid who becomes frightened and quickly gets up. His mom comes out and tells Chance to go away. I admit I did laugh Chance says, "Meow, I'm a cat." 

While continuing their journey, Chance (literally) runs into a boxer who calls him a punk and tells him to watch it. A bullmastiff comes around the corner and asks what's all the commotion. They are Ashcan and Pete and they're the troublemaking dogs. I'm not really sure why they're in this movie because we already have the antagonists with the dog-nappers. Much like this movie, they're just unnecessary. 

After one of the dog threatens to have Sassy for lunch (though she did start it by claiming they came from Planet Stupid), Shadow tells her to run (she just jumps up on something high) and he and one of the other dogs "fight", but clearly they're just playing. Chase runs off, saying he's going to find help.

Even more dogs appear and one of them starts fighting with Ashcan and tells him to stay off his turf. The two scoundrel dogs run away. Riley is the leader of the dog gang (lol, I can't believe I just typed that). He's voiced by Sinbad and according to Wikipedia, he's a Labrador-mix. I thought Delilah, the dog voiced by Carla Gugino, was a lab, but she's a Kuvasz, a breed I'm not familiar with. Other dogs in Riley's gang include Bando, the Bluetick Coonhound (I'm sorry, but I have no clue if/when dogs breeds are supposed to be capitalized or not) voiced by Stephen Tobolowsky and Sledge, a shetland-collie mix voiced by Tisha Campbell. There's also a couple other dogs. There's so many talking dogs in this movie! It just makes it so much more cartoony than the first one. 

But wait! It gets worse! After Shadow realizes that Chase ran off, Delilah offers to find him. Already I can get a whiff that a love story between these two dogs is probably going to happen. And once she's chasing after him and comments, "cute butt" (which made me groan), I knew for sure we were in for a flirtation between the two dogs. Do we really need a love story between two dogs? I can watch Lady and the Tramp for that! 

Meanwhile, the other dogs with Shadow and Sassy see the red van coming by and hide because they know what's up. Riley tells Shadow that any dogs that are snatched will be taken to a place called "the lab". Is this plotline recycled from Beethoven?

When Shadow asks about the bridge, Riley tells them it's impossible to cross and questions why they are going back home because their humans don't want them anyway. I'm not sure why he's assuming this, but he sounds super bitter so I'm guessing there's a Lotso situation with Riley where he was once loved, then rejected by a family?

We-ell, I was sort of right. Delilah tells Chance about Riley's backstory. They're at a park having a doggie date, I guess, and Chance mentions Jamie and how he's his "human." Delilah says that Riley told her dogs shouldn't trust humans "no matter how friendly they seem."

So let me tell you about Riley's backstory, then I'll comment on it. There'll be lots to comment on because it's so f**ked up! 

Delilah begins, "When Riley was a puppy, he thought he found a home with humans." We see it's Christmas morning and under the tree, Riley, as a puppy with a red ribbon tied around his neck, is sitting in a basket. A young boy comes down with his parents and he just totally ignores the dog and starts opening the presents and playing with his new toys. Later that day (it's dark by this time), they "drove into the city and left Riley in the gutter on the coldest, rainiest night of the year." We see the puppy (still wearing the bow) in a cardboard box on the side of the road getting drenched by the rain. Delilah concludes with, "So Riley found other abandoned dogs and he made a home for them to protect them from all humans." (BTW, I love how most of these "abandoned dogs" seem to be purebreds!)

Dear Lord, this is worse than Lotso's situation! At least the little girl loved Lotso! He was just unfortunately replaced when he was left behind at the park. Plus, you know, he was a stuffed animal and not a REAL animal! (Yeah, yeah, I know he was sentient, but the humans didn't know that!) Now, if you remember (from one paragraph ago) my prediction about what happened to Riley before becoming a street dog: 

I'm guessing there's a Lotso situation with Riley where he was once loved, then rejected by a family?

Uh, he wasn't even loved! He was rejected the same day he was given to the boy. Why did his parents give him a puppy when it was clear he absolutely had no interest. Also, I'm giving major side eye to this kid. What kind of child wouldn't go crazy seeing an adorable little animal under the tree? He's probably going to end up to be a psychopath. I don't know where they got the puppy from, whether an animal shelter or a pet shop, but couldn't they just return him instead of leaving him on the side of the road in the rain? These people suck. They are the real villains! But this whole story of Riley's distrust and dislike of humans is just so ridiculous and doesn't ring true. They just need to give him a reason why he doesn't like humans. Riley even uses the word "pet" as a derogatory term. 

Chance puts two and two together and thinks that since Riley was abandoned because the kid didn't want to play with him, the Burnfords/Seavers are going to get rid of him since Jamie doesn't seem to want to play with him anymore. Eh, I'm going to Jamie some leeway here because he was busy with baseball and the kid shouldn't have to play with his dog all the time. He might have been annoyed with Chance at the beginning of the movie, but he still loves his dog. Chance (and Shadow and Sassy) have been nothing but loved by the Burnford/Seaver family. Chance is jumping to some ridiculous conclusions. Delilah tells him she was never a pet, that she was born a stray. 

Chance and Delilah continue their "doggie date" by trying to get food from humans at a fair, going to the pier with all the seals, and ending the day on top of a hill overlooking the city with Chance telling her this might be the greatest day of his life. Ouch, don't let Jamie know he thought that! I'm genuinely surprised we didn't see the two love dogs sharing a plate of spaghetti Lady and the Tramp-style. This is a Disney movie, after all! 

So while the two love dogs seem to be having their own (all day) doggie date, Shadow, Sassy, Riley, and the other dogs come across a house that is ablaze in flames. It is the same house with the little boy and itty bitty kitty. So basically the pets have not made any progress. Why is their house on fire, you ask? Well, just minutes before, those doggone dog nappers had stopped at the corner where the house is located and one of them threw his cigar out the window and it landed in a bush near the house which caused the flames. By the time the animals get there, the firemen are there. The little boy, Tucker, is still inside, so Shadow goes in to rescue him. Tucker is crying because his little itty bitty kitty, Tiger, is still in there, but don't worry, Sassy has rescued Tiger.

This kind of reminded me when the little girl is lost in the woods in the first movie, but only in the sense that the animals are helping a human child. At least there's payoff in the first movie as the search party recognizes the animals from a poster they've seen and call the family to let them know they found their pets. There's no payoff with this scene; the kid just pets Sassy and Shadow and thanks them. I did chuckle when Sassy is all indignant because she only gets a pat and doesn't get a treat. There was really no reason for this scene to be in the movie. I guess they wanted to remind us that Shadow and Sassy are heroes. Or maybe they needed something for this to do since the whole plotline seems to revolve around Chance meeting a new girlfriend. 

When the dogs (and Sassy) return to Riley's hideout, an abandoned house, they all find Chance and Delilah huddled together. One of the dogs starts taunting them by singing, "Chance and Delilah sniffing at a tree..." Yeah, I groaned at this. Another female dog even praises Delilah, telling her that Chance "looks like he's got it going on." Like, WTF am I watching? 

Now we're starting to learn the weird social dynamics of this dog gang. In an earlier scene we learned that Bando (the coonhound) has a crush on Delilah and he's clearly jealous of Chance. When he asks Delilah what about them (meaning him and her), he tells her they're just friends. Haha, that dog just got friend zoned. Also, this movie is so incredibly bad. One of the other dogs tells him "you ain't nothing but a hound dog." Gee, I wonder why they cast that particular type of dog in this role? 

Riley isn't happy that Delilah is fraternizing with a dog who is a pet. Delilah tells him she doesn't have to take it so she and Chance leave. I don't know what Riley's problem is. He knows that Chance is trying to get home with the other pets, so it's not like he's going to stay around. Or maybe not because while Chance is romping around, Shadow goes up to Delilah and tells him that she needs to let Chance go and that he can't survive the city. Delilah tells him that she can take care of him. I don't mean to be rude, but what a bitch! I guess Delilah convinced Chance to stay with her and the other stray dogs? Chance would be an idiot if he did that.

We get an update from the family: they're stuck at the airport because of the weather. Did they not look at the weather report before choosing this week to go camping? Sounds like they picked a terrible time to go, weather-wise! 

Here comes the red van! All the dogs except Chance, who is rummaging though a trash bag, run back to hide in the abandoned house. Chance must have some hearing problems because the two dognappers are right behind him and he has no idea. This so-called hearing problem will also be an issue in an upcoming scene. The dog nappers manage to capture him by tricking him with a cheeseburger and throw him in the back of the van.  

The dogs find the van and distract the driver while Sassy pulls her magic and unlocks the door for Chase and the other dogs in the van to escape. The crazy thing is the dog nappers are upset because all those dogs are worth $100. Like, does he mean they're worth $100 a piece, or worth $100 all together? I'm gathering it's the latter. They're going through all that trouble for just a measly $100? Even in 1996, that wasn't that much! 

The dognappers are chased away and their van ends up in the bay. After all that commotion, Delilah tells Chance that he doesn't belong here. This upsets him and he runs off, narrating that he's sad and "it was like getting a bath, missing dinner, and going to the vet, all rolled into one."

It's now time for Riley to take the pets to the bridge (what took him so long in the first place?) and Sassy is in a good mood, singing a song to the tune of Home on the Range: "Home, home, in the 'burbs, where the cat and the squeak toy can play. Where no traffic is heard and I can maul birds and sleep in the sunshine all day."  This is one of the few things that made me laugh in this movie. Shadow isn't quite as chipper because he feels bad that Chance isn't with them. I laughed when he tells Sassy that they can't leave Chance behind because "home just won't be the same" and Sassy replies, "Exactly." Ha! Sassy is easily the best character in this movie. They should have just made the sequel be of her getting left alone at home (with a trusted neighbor to take care of her, of course!) after the family goes camping with the two dogs. We could just follow her hijinx while the family is away. I bet you that would have been a much better movie than this! Hmm, it could be like Home Alone....but with a cat! 

She does agree with Shadow that they need to go back to look for Chance. Now here comes Ashcan and Pete, two characters we absolutely did not need. They're just here to cause problems so Chance can save the day and put them in their place. Now the three pets are together and can walk across the bridge and head home. 

Meanwhile, the Burnfords/ Seavers must have made it back to San Fransisco because they're all in the car with the kids urging their dad to drive faster because they're all so sure that the pets will be at home. This made me laugh. I guess because the animals found their way home once before, they think they'll be able to do it again. 

Remember in the first movie when we get an emotional (and ICONIC) scene when the animals return home and are reunited with their humans? Yeah, not so much in this movie. They TRY to make it emotional, but they weren't fooling me. The pets have to cross a winding road (which isn't particularly busy) to get home. Shadow and Sassy cross it. Chance decides he's going to sit in the middle of the road and forlornly look back at the San Fransisco skyline, thinking of how much he's going to miss Delilah. Sassy and Shadow can hear a large vehicle approaching (a semi, in fact), but not Chance! This dog must be going deaf if he can't hear a semi approaching! But guess who happens to be behind the semi? Why it's the Burnford/Seaver family! They're on a winding road and Bob is trying to pass the truck while going around a bend. WTF? I don't care if your seven-year-old son is telling you to hurry, no need to get everyone killed! The truck driver sees a dog sitting in the middle of the road and steps on his brakes to avoid the animal and Bob has to steps on his brakes. They're wondering what's going on when the two older kids look out the window and see Shadow and Sassy trotting towards their car. 

Bob realizes that the reason the truck stopped so suddenly was because there was another animal in the road. We're supposed to think Chance was hit, but I knew the movie wouldn't go there. In fact, I was expecting him to be thrown off the road with maybe a broken leg, but no, he's found under the the truck, untouched, with his paws over his head, just like in the earlier scene when the plane flew over them. The whole scene was just so cartoonish. 

Also, you think that now the pets have been reunited with the family, the movie is over, right? No, we still have to clear up the Delilah story. UGH. So once they're home, the family and pets are outside in the backyard, getting ready for a picnic. There is one really funny scene where Sassy hops up on the table and Hope picks her up and puts her on the ground and says, "Sassy, not on the table" and Sassy replies, "Well, I guess the honeymoon's over, huh?" Sassy: truly this movie's MVP. 

So even though Chance is back at home and even though Jamie is giving him lots of attention, he's feeling depressed because he misses his girlfriend. UGH. He hears barking and perks up, thinking it's Delilah. Well, it's just a dog following a kid on a bike. (Like, the only dog to not talk in this movie.) But then a few moments later, he hears more barking and it's f**king Delilah. When he asks how she found him, she replies, "I followed my nose, Chance, and my heart." I groaned because after she said "I followed my nose", I knew she was immediately going to follow it with the corny "and my heart" line. But even weirder, she tells him in a throaty whisper, "Chance, you're my man." It's just so, eww. Also, he's a f**king dog, not a man. This happens earlier in the movie when Riley refers to Delilah as a woman She's a f**king dog, not a woman. Anyway, the two love dogs start frolicking in the yard and claim their love for each other. I really, really hated this stupid love story.

The family realizes that Chance must have met her while the pets were separated from them. All the kids want to keep her and of course their dad agrees because he's a pushover. He should have told them he was going to take her to the Humane Society and we would get a little blurb at the end that Delilah was adopted by a nice family and lived a wonderful life, but no, they're going to add another pet to the family. I really hope they spade and neuter their pets! Chance is so happy that he leaps into the air twice. It's a pretty good trick they trained the dog to do, but it's so corny. 

The family must have been waiting for pizza for their picnic because the movie ends with the pizza guy arriving and Chance excitedly jumps up around him. The pizza ends up flying out of its box and lands on the grass with Chance eating at least a third of it. That would've ticked me off so much. 

This movie is terrible and unnecessary. There were absolutely no stakes. In the first movie, the pets had to deal with the elements and wildlife, in this movie they have to force conflict because there isn't any. I don't know how long exactly the pets were gone in the first movie, but I'm guessing at least one week, if not longer. In this movie, it had to be no more than two days. They just have to find their way back the airport and probably would have gotten home a lot faster if they hadn't been diddy-daddlying with the dog gang they met.

Just look at the poster for the first movie vs this one. Just looking at the two different posters, you can tell the stakes are way higher in the first movie:

Skip this one and watch the first movie, which is a remake of the 1963 movie, The Incredible Journey, which is based on the 1961 book of the same name by Sheila Burnford. I've never seen the original movie (or read the book) but I found out that the animals don't talk and my first thought was, What kind of nonsense is that? when I realized, Oh, yeah....Maybe I'll check it out sometime. I'm sure it will be better than the dreck I just watched, but no way I like it better than the 1993 movie I grew up with! 

The Heat is On

Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F

Director: Mark Molloy

Cast: Eddie Murphy, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Taylor Paige, Judge Reinhold, John Ashton, Kevin Bacon

Released: July 3, 2024

Viewed: July 3, 2024

It just happened to be pure coincidence that I had recently watched and reviewed the first three Beverly Hills Cop movies; I had no idea there was a fourth one coming to Netflix, but since I had watched the first movie, the trailer for the new one popped up and that's how I found out about it. By the time I had watched all the previous films, I was ready to watch this one and I caught all (well, most of) the shout-outs and nods of the previous films (well, the first two, really).

This movie is definitely going for the nostalgia factor for the old school fans. Why, within the first ten minutes you hear not one, but two songs that may sound a little familiar (especially if you just watched the first two films!). The opening scene starts with Axel driving through Detroit as "The Heat Is On" by Glenn Frey is playing on the radio (even though it appears to be winter, so kinda ironic!). If you remember, that's the song that started the very first film. So here's something I never knew: that song was written specifically for Beverly Hills Cop. Talk about a TIL moment! I have always been aware of that song for as long as I can remember, but I had no idea it was specifically written for BHC until I read it just now on Wikipedia. I was wanting to see what year it came out, thinking maybe it was the hot summer song of 1984 or maybe it came out a few years prior. Thinking about it now, it makes sense since "The Heat" is slang for police (I guess it has something to do with the red siren on their cars...IDK). 

About ten minutes later, when Axel and his partner (who's pretty much a nonentity in this as we never see him again after this scene) are chasing bad guys who were robbing the Detroit hockey arena (I guess they were taking rings and trophies, something that must have been of value), "Shakedown" by Bob Seger starts playing and that was payed during the opening scene of Beverly Hills Cop II. Now I knew that song was specifically for that movie as it was nominated for an Oscar. Here's a hot take (maybe, I really don't know if it is or not): I like "Shakedown" more than "The Heat Is On".

We'll also get "The Neutron Dance" by the Pointer Sisters that played early on in the first movie later on in this movie when Axel is getting into some hijinx in Beverly Hills, around Rodeo Drive. A remix of "Hot in the City" plays when he arrives in The Hills, but I can't remember if they played that song in any of the original movies. 

Another way they get the nostalgia factor is bringing back a lot of the characters from the previous movies. Of course we will get Judge Reinhold and John Ashton returning as Rosewood and Taggart (40 years older, but to be fair, everyone is 40 years older than they were in the first movie!), but we also get Paul Reiser returning as Jeffrey Friedman and Bronson Pinchot returning as Serge. Jeffrey is now the Chief and in his office there's a photo of Inspector Todd, the Chief from the first three movies, so that was a nice touch. When Axel and his partner (whose name I don't even remember because it's not that relevant) are chasing the bad guys in a snowplow (very reminiscent to when he and Rosewood are chasing the bad guys in a cement truck in the second movie), the partner calls it into the station and when one of the officers hears it and says "Let me guess...Foley", Jeffrey sticks his head in the room and says "Did you say Foley?" Ha! 

A bunch of cars and city property get damages because Axel can't drive the snow plow (I don't think Axel can drive any vehicle that isn't a car) and Jeffrey is furious. It's not an Axel Foley movie without Detroit or Beverly Hills getting completely destroyed (and BH will soon get its turn!) and the Chief getting angry with Axel. Jeffrey is irked that he himself was screamed at "for 45 minutes straight" by the police commissioner. He tells Axel that he's retiring and basically he won't be there anymore to help get Axel out of his jams because that's apparently what he did in the past. 

Of course, there are new characters too. We find out that Axel has a daughter named Jane (Taylor Paige) who he rarely sees. She works in (or perhaps near) Beverly Hills as a defense attorney and we see a quick shot of her ID card which has her birth year as 1991. This confused me a bit because this would mean that Axel had a young child in Beverly Hills Cop 3 (which came out in 1994) and, of course there is no mention of that because they didn't know they would be making a sequel thirty years later where Axel would have a grown daughter. It's just interesting that's the year they chose as her birth year. We get some backstory that he moved his family out to Beverly Hills when Jane was a kid because it wasn't safe in Detroit because the 12th Street Mafia was out to kill him and his family. He eventually divorced Jane's mother and moved back to Detroit. We never find out who the mother is (nobody we know, presumably) or if she's still around and we never find out the story with this 12th Street Mafia. I honestly don't even think the writers know and didn't really care that much. It certainly sounds like we could use a Beverly Hills Cop 3.5 because there's certainly a movie (or two!) missing from this timeline! 

Because Jane dislikes her father so much, she goes by Jane Saunders instead of Jane Foley. (I'm guessing Saunders is her mom's name.) When we meet her, she is meeting a young man in prison named Sam Enriquez who claims he's been set up to look like he killed a cop but insists he didn't. She tells him she is representing him pro bono and wants to hear his story of what happened. He says that somebody talked him into "muling one time". He was in the passenger seat with Copeland, an undercover cop, and he saw a black SUV trailing them. He tried to call someone, but his phone wouldn't work. The SUV pulled up alongside them and a gun pointed out and shot Copeland. Sam grabbed the wheel and steered them into the SUV, but lost control and hit a pole. The next thing he knew, he was waking up with the gun in his lap next to a dead body. 

Jane is suspicious of Copeland and thinks he's a dirty cop. At the court hearing, she tells the judge that "the defense will be submitted a motion to subpoena Lieutenant Copeland's finical records as [they] believe he was involved in potential criminal activity." 

In the parking garage, after she gets in her car, she gets a very clear message that there are people out there who do not want her working on this case. She knows this because her car, which she is still in, mind you, because she was unable to escape, is pushed off the parking garage by about four men in masks and she's just dangling there (the masked men were kind enough to at least tie her car with chains attached to poles so at least she didn't drop). However, that was just a warning, and next time she probably won't be so lucky. 

The police arrive as well as Rosewood, who now has his own investigating company. Apparently, he was the one who got her involved in the case. He tells her she needs to drop the case because he doesn't want to have to tell her dad that she got killed. When she refuses to give up on the case, he tells her that she and her dad are exactly the same. Billy calls Axel to tell him what's going on and this is the reason for Axel going to Beverly Hills. After hanging up the phone, two men have their guns pointed at Billy and he is kidnapped. He was in a junkyard and had "just got the evidence [he] needed". Axel had heard dogs barking and asked him where he was and learning that he's in an impound will be a clue for later on. 

Jeffrey drives Axel to the airport and tells him to "watch his ass out there" because he's "not 22 anymore." I believe that's how old Eddie Murphy was in the first movie (or at least, somewhere in his early twenties) so that was a fun little callback. Axel just smiles and replies, "They love me in Beverly Hills." 

Billy was supposed to pick up Axel at the airport, but he never showed up. Axel calls him from his rental car, but doesn't get an answer, so he goes to his office of Rosewood Investigations which is set in some hotel room (interesting place for a business, a little seedy if you ask me!). When he gets there, he notices the doors has been broken into and he walks in where he sees two guys rummaging around. Being who he is, Axel immediately acts like he's also supposed to be there. He asks them what's taking them so long and acts like he's looking for something. One guy asks who sent him and he (smartly) replies, "Who do you think?" These guys must be so dumb because one guy replies with "Beck?" and Axel replies (and this made me laugh), "No, LeBron James. Yes, Beck!" They're just giving him the answer that he needs! However, one of the guys sees a photo of Axel and Rosewood and points out to Axel that it's him (which he says is Wesley Snipes). Luckily before he was caught, he had ripped a page out of Rosewood's planner and surreptitiously put it in his pocket. 

Axel knows he's been made, but he's able to escape. Now there's a third bad guy and they're after him. This is when we get him wrecking havoc on Beverly Hills by driving a little scooter car through the posh shopping area while "Neutron Dance" is playing. At the end, the cart has flipped over and many tourists come up to him with their phones and start filming/taking pics of him. 

He ends up at his old stomping grounds of the Beverly Hills Police Department after he is arrested. He meets Detective Bobby Abbot (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) who has pulled his files and is quite familiar with his time in Beverly Hills. There is a funny moment after he mentions his time in BH in '94 as "not your finest hour." Obviously a nod to Beverly Hill Cop 3 just being a suck show. 

Axel sees a photo of Bobby that shows he was in the LAPD Air Support, meaning he used to be a pilot. This will come back later (and if you've seen the previews, you probably know). Bobby wants to know what Axel was doing in Rosewood's office (very similiar to the first movie when Taggart and Rosewood want to know why Axel was in Maitland's office), but Axel won't answer him, instead asking if he can talk to Taggart or get a phone call to call his lawyer, meaning his daughter. It takes three tries before he can finally get through to her without her hanging up on him. When he blurts out that Rosewood called him last night and if she can bail him out, he'll tell her everything. 

We get a brief scene of Axel reunited with Taggart and he asks him why he hasn't retired yet. He said he did (which is true, they mentioned it in the third movie how he retired and moved to Phoenix), but he said he got back together with his wife, Maureen, (I guess they were the Ross and Rachel of this franchise because they were always breaking up and getting back together) and apparently he moved back to Beverly Hills and now he's working again so he can be anywhere but home. Let's be honest, John Ashton wasn't in the third movie because he didn't like the script, but came back for this one. 

Taggart introduces Axel to Cade Grant (Kevin Bacon) who runs the "interdepartmental narcosis task force." When I first saw the preview for this movie I knew immediately that he was the bad guy, but it wasn't like they were trying to hide it. The discussion turns to Sam Enriquez and Taggart isn't happy that Axel's daughter is defending an assumed cop killer. 

Oh, yeah, we also find out that Jane and Bobby have a history. They used to date, but they broke up because she didn't want to date a cop. There's a really awkward moment where Axel asks them (after noticing their attitudes around each other) if they've had "intercourse" (yes, that's the word he uses). Like, dude, why would you ask your daughter that? At first, I felt a little bad that Jane was being so dismissive of him, but now I don't really blame her for not wanting him in her life! But what are the odds that those two would know each other? Yes, I suppose they do work in the same circle, but still. 

When leaving the police department, Axel asks Jane why Rosewood would be at the impound and she tells him that's where Copeland's car is and they go there to check it out. On the way there, Jane tells her dad that Sam's "just a kid who got talked into muling cocaine for his uncle", who is "some big dealer on the east side named Chalino." Axel doesn't think it makes sense that if Copeland worked for Chalino, why would Chalino kill him? 

When they arrive at the impound, Axel does what he does best and pretends to be someone else to get the information he needs. He tells the young man behind that counter that he's the "producer of the new Liam Neeson revenge thriller, Impound" (what a terrible name for a movie!) and that they're looking for a technical advisor. He sees a headshot of the guy on the wall and asks if he's an actor and the guy replies that he was in Jupiter Ascending which is the most random movie and one that I've never seen and don't know anyone who's ever seen it. Wanting to butter him up, Axel giddily tells him he loved him in that movie. Knowing that her father has never seen the movie, she asks him what it's about and he replies it's about Jupiter...ascending. It's so stupid, but funny. The dumb guy behind the counter is so happy he's being considered to help them with a new movie, he doesn't even pick up that Axel has never seen Jupiter Ascending and can't even tell his daughter the plot. (I certainly wouldn't know what it's about!) He quickly changes the subject back to the faux film he's working on and tells the guy "the movie starts off with Liam Neeson breaking into a police impound yard." The guy stops him to tell him they just had a break-in last night and Axel is mock shocked. He asks if they could have a look for "research" and are allowed access where they find Copeland's car and Axel quickly discovers a surveillance camera that somebody installed. The SD card is missing and he surmises that's what Rosewood was after. Janes says there's nothing about a camera in the car in the police report and thinks that's what they were looking for in Billy's office. 

Axel quickly realizes they're being followed and he uses his camera phone under Jane's car to discover it has a tracker. He pulls it off and they drive away where he places it on the back of a stopped bus. They soon find out the two guys that were in Rosewood's office are following them. Axel and Jane start following them now and they go to a swanky restaurant where the father and daughter will use their magic to get into the private club on the rooftop. There they see the two goons with Cade and when Axel asks what they were doing in Billy's office, he replies that Billy "stole a crucial piece of evidence" which he needs to recover to exonerate Copeland and that he "will do whatever it takes to get it back." Sounds pretty ominous to me! 

Axel checks out the home of the address he found in Rosewood's planner. He tells his daughter that there was a lot of security there "even for Beverly Hills" and that he saw the guys that were following them. They're in the car when they're having this discussing and lucky for them, Bobby is following them. I say lucky because Bobby pulls up next to a car and he hears one tattooed man say to another tattooed man to take out the people in the car ahead of them, which just so happens to be Axel and Jane. It's a good thing Bobby knows Spanish because that's the language the tattooed men are speaking. We next get a crazy moment that should have made national news, but only seems to make the local news: the two men get out of their car and start shooting at Axel and Jane who by now have gotten out of their car and are crouching down to hide from the gunmen. One of them sees Jane in a side mirror and is about to shoot her, but Bobby shoots him and the other guy. Luckily, no one is killed here except for the bad guys. We find out that they were part of a "cartel kill crew out of Adelanto." Ah! I knew it! They looked like guys who would work for Gustavo Fringe. 

Apparently, Rosewood had tried to put these guys away, but somehow it never happened and perhaps that's because Cade was also involved in their case. Taggart denies that Cade is dirty and Axel questions him if he's part of this. Bobby is suspended without pay for what happened and he accuses the chief of not wanting to solve the case. Now he, Axel, and Jane are the only three people to check into the case. Jane had done some research of the mansion that was heavily guarded and they find out it was bought with drug money. The house next door to that one is for sale so they decide to recruit Axel's old pal, Serge (Bronson Pinchot), who is friends with a real estate agent (who feels like she should be on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) and Bobby and Jane pretend to be a married couple who are interested in the house.  

We get some fun moments from Serge who seems to be completely the same at 60 as he was when he was in his 20s and 30s. When he pulls up in his convertible, he exclaims "I'm on an undercover mission with Ack-well Foley and I'm so happy!" 

At the house, we get another callback to their relationship when Axel asks how many bathrooms there are and when Serge tells him there are ten, Axel says "Get the f*** out of here!" and Serge (predictably) responds with "No, I cannot!" They're just giving the audience what they want.

While Bobby and Jane are being shown the house, Axel sneaks away to check out the shady house next door. There are lots of statues in the backyard that are very similar to the ones in the yard of the mansion in the first movie, so obvious a shoutout, but those statues just make the yard look cheap even though I'm sure they're very expensive. Of course, having lots of money doesn't mean you have good taste. We've all seen Trump's New York penthouse in The Apprentice. He sneaks into the garage and takes photos of the hood of a car parked in there. A camera catches him and one of Cade's minions calls Cade to tell him that Foley was at the house. 

Axel took photos of the car because he sees paint on it that must have come from Copeland's car and he found a device that's used to disrupt cell signals. Jane remembers how Sam had tried to call for help, but wasn't able to get service. They need to find the SD card and the only person who knows its whereabouts is Billy, but where's Billy? 

Axel and Bobby decide to talk to Chalino, Sam's uncle. They think he'll probably want to talk to them since Grant is trying to pin the murder on Chalino's nephew. Chalino's (Luiz Guzman) operations are in a bar-like establishment. Bobby says he's a little nervous since he knows there will be armed men everywhere and when he asks Axel if he's nervous, he replies that he's from Detroit and it will be just like going into Buffalo Wild Wings, heh. When they go inside and find Chalino singing karaoke (a half Spanish/half English "Man Eater"), he says, "This is nothing like Buffalo Wild Wings." They tell Chalino they're there because they know his nephew is being set up and is "about to go away for life for a murder he didn't commit." While pointing a gun at Bobby's head, Chalino wants them to give him a reason why he should trust them. Axel replies that his daughter is representing Sam and that the same guys who are trying to frame him almost took her out. Chalino agrees to work with them and tells them that Grant has dirty cops working for him, "protecting the cartel's interests." When ask why Grant killed Copeland, Chalino tells them "he was gonna go clean" and that he was talking to a PI that Axel realizes was Rosewood and when he asks about said PI, Chalino says "They caught him sniffing around the east basin of the port where they bring in the drugs." So now at least he knows Rosewood's last known whereabouts. I have to say, while people are concerned about Rosewood, they don't seem that concerned. 

When Axel and Bobby leave the bar and walk to their car, they are surrounded by Grant and his men. They have been obviously set up when Grant opens the trunk to reveal cocaine in a hidden spot. Both are held handcuffed in the country jail, but Axel, being Axel, manages to get them both to escape, but the only way out is on the roof where there's a helicopter...and remember, Bobby used to be a pilot for the LAPD Air Support. What he didn't tell Axel is that he doesn't fly anymore because he crashed the last helicopter he flew and now has PTSD from it. He must have forgotten how to fly because he does a terrible job. He's flying very close to the ground (like, he's level with the cars on the street, that's how low!) which just seems super dangerous. Cade shoots at the chopper and it ends up crash landing on a golf course. After listening to a couple of podcasts, I guess one of the golfers they see is from Happy Gilmore, but I've never seen that movie, so I didn't even realize that the first time I watched it. 

By this time, Taggart knows that Cade is behind this since he literally saw him shoot the helicopter. While Axel and Bobby are checking out the place where Billy last was and distract his captives to escape with him in a truck filled with statues that are full of cocaine, Jane is kidnapped when she gets into her car to drive home. Billy tells them he hid the SD card in his Rambo knife that's in his office and Axel calls Jane to let her know but Cade answer her phone and tells him to bring the SD card (by this time he already knows that Billy is with Axel) before he does something he "might regret" and to meet him at the Sunset Point Warehouse on Alameda in one hour. The audience clearly sees he's lying because he's at the mansion and Axel gets this confirmed when he calls Jeffrey to ask him to track Jane's phone. Billy thinks they should call for backup, but Bobby doesn't think that's a good idea since they're fugitives driving a truck full of cocaine (well, when you put it like that!). Axel sidesteps a police car that has a car pulled over on the side of the road and soon many cop cars are following the truck, but they soon lose their backup when the cars all crash into each other since Axel is driving so erratically. 

The truck crashes right through the front of the house which I'm sure you've seen if you've watched the trailer. I won't lie; it was a pretty cool moment. There's lots of gunfire as the bad guys are shooting at Axel, Bobby, and Billy. A few moments later, Taggart shows up and as he's pulling a gun out of the trunk, he's muttering, "That damn Foley! Here we go again." He's such a curmudgeon; I love it! Although, this guy is in his 70s; should he really be going into a house full of gunfire? When Billy does his "Drop your weapons!" routine, a clear shoutout from the first movie (and of course it doesn't work), Taggart just shakes his head and replies, "Some things never change." This is the first time we see Taggart and Rosewood together in this movie and it just dawned on me that we haven't seen them together since the end of the second movie since Taggart wasn't in the third movie. What a beautiful reunion! 

Axel spots Cade upstairs and makes his way to the second floor. We see that Jane has slipped out of her handcuff and we know that Axel taught her how to do that because they talked about it in an earlier scene. The guy watching her hears a noise and when he goes to check it out, this is when she breaks free of her restraints and smashes a vase over his head. 

Axel comes across Cade and they have a standoff. Axel tells him to put his gun down and Cade complies because he sees one of his men has a gun on Axel from behind. When Axel is about to get shot by that guy, we see him get shot by Jane who had taken the gun from the guy watching her. Cade shoots at Jane, but Axel throws himself in front of the bullet, which hits him in the front of his shoulder. Bobby arrives just in time to shoot Cade in the head. Of course, this whole sequence is done in slow motion. 

Axel is taken to the hospital, but he's going to be okay and now he and Jane are on good terms. The movie ends with a callback to the first one with Taggart and Rosewood in a parked car outside the hospital to make sure Axel doesn't leave (he had already snuck out to get some food at a nearby diner). They're arguing about something and Axel slips into the backseat and tells them they're the worst surveillance team in the world (he ain't lying!). 

The first BHC movie will always be the best, but I think this one is the next best. The third is just terrible and the second one has its fun moments, but is a bit of a hot mess and I felt like this one was more thought out and at least the storyline made a little more sense.