Hakuna Matata

The Lion King 
Director: Jon Favreau
Cast: Donald Glover, James Earl Jones, Beyonce, Seth Rogen, John Oliver, Billy Eichner, Chiwetel Ejiofor
Released: July 19, 2019
Viewed in theaters: July 23, 2019

When I first saw the trailer for this, which I think was released way back in November, I was really excited for it because it looked amazing and so realistic, and of course, the animated 1994 Lion King is a beloved Disney movie. (I did roll my eyes, however, when I saw Beyonce was in the cast. It felt like they only cast her to make sure they bring in the big bucks, which, of course any moron could tell you this movie is going to make a crapton of money! And, surprise, it did and it will continue making loads of money). Then, as the months ticked by, I started to get a little bit nervous. While they had new trailers with the characters talking, they never showed any scenes with them singing and that made me wonder how THAT would look with realistic animals singing famous Disney songs. Not to mention the score on Rotten Tomatoes was on the rotten side, so I went in with low expectations. That's probably the reason why I liked it more than I thought I would. I don't think it's as bad as the critics are saying; it was fun hearing the songs from my favorite '90s Disney soundtrack (well, MOST of them...we'll get to that later; I'm sure you know which song I'm talking about that they totally butchered!) The movie totally follows the same plot as the '94 one (as I was expecting) but there are a few changes and added scenes, so if you haven't seen this and don't want to be spoiled at all, then come back and read this after you've seen it. A word I've seen thrown out to describe this movie is "unnecessary" and that is a perfect word to describe it. Nobody needed this movie. Why do we need it when we have a perfectly serviceable animated movie that is exactly the same thing, but better and makes more sense in an animated format instead of a photo realistic one? Seriously, at least with cartoon characters you can draw them to express their feelings in their faces, while with lions and hyenas and the like, it's kind of hard to do that. Sure, you can tell us a lion is angry if he's roaring and swiping his paws at the hyena, but when we see Simba and Nala at the watering hole looking at each, they just look like lions having a drink; they don't look like lions who are falling in love with each other. The only reason we know this is because "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" is playing. And also because we've seen the original so we know every beat of the movie.

Let's talk about the songs, shall we? All the original songs are in the remake and they are all the same (although they're all decent/good, I prefer the original songs but that's probably because I'm so used to hearing them since I've known them for the last twenty-five years!) The one song that is totally different is "Be Prepared", which is my favorite Disney villain song. Not only is this song a much shorter version of it (which I understand since the dynamic between Scar and the hyenas is different in this movie the the '94 one), but it's not sung, but more like chanted. Somebody described it as beat poetry which made me laugh. It just doesn't sound cool like it does in the original. It just sounds weird and awkward and makes you want to know what they did with one of the best songs in the movie. Luckily I had listened to the new songs on Spotify so I was already, ahem, prepared for the atrocity. Did you notice it was daylight, nowhere close to dusk when they sing "Can You Feel the Love Tonight?" Also, Beyonce was way over-singing that song with all her trills and and riffs. She is just going every which way. When she and Donald Glover are singing together, you can hardly hear him! I've been listening to the 2019 soundtrack and I laugh every time I listen to this song! I thought young Simba and Nala singing "I Just Can't Wait To Be King" sounded better; yeah, I said it! I noticed there was a song on the soundtrack by Beyonce called "Spirit" and I figured they must play it during the end credits, but no, it's in the movie when Simba and Nala return to Pride Rock. The full song is almost five minutes and while I don't know if they played the entire song during this scene, God, it sure felt like it! It's a fine song and all, but just didn't feel like it fit in and was super unnecessary. It just felt like it was an excuse to get a Beyonce song in there. In the original, there's a cute little throwaway scene of Timon and Pumbaa singing a few lines of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight", but in this movie, the whole song is sung and I really liked it. It was really funny how the other animals were swaying along to the music and then they would join them. Just the way it was shot made me smile.

Now let's talk about the characters, shall we? Timon and Pumbaa (voiced by Billy Eichner and Seth Rogen) were my favorites. This is where we get all our funny moments and probably the most changes, albeit slight. When Simba tells them about the Circle of Life, they tell him they think life is more of a "meaningless line of indifference". Also, I laughed during the meta "Hakuna Matata" joke. When they tell Simba their motto and he's like, "Hakuna, what?", I love that they're shocked that he doesn't know what it is and tell him they usually get a bigger reaction and people start clapping. I mean, "Hakuna Matata" isn't just the most well-known phrase to come out of the '94  Lion King and not just the most well-known phrase to come out of the '90s Disney movies, but probably one of the most well-known phrases of any movie. When you say (or sing!) "Hakuna Matata" everyone knows what it means ("It means no worries...for the rest of your day!") and what movie it's from. EVERYONE knows this and it's been a huge part of pop culture for the last 25 years so I thought it was super funny that they make a meta joke out of it. I also thought it was funny at the end of the song when Timon comments on how Simba has gained 400 pounds, implying that they've been singing this song on a loop for quite awhile! And I loved, during the interlude when they're teaching Simba to eat grubs and telling him how delicious they are, Pumbaa adds, "And they're local!" and Timon says, "Oh, are they?" and Pumbaa says, "Yeah, they're from right here! " and points to the log that's right in front of them. That got a good chuckle out of me. Also, I don't understand how anything that's described as "slimy" could also be "satisfying." Ick. Slimy does not equal satisfying! Another funny little change with our favorite meerkat and warthog (by the way, animated cartoon warthogs are cute; photo realistic warthogs? Not so much.) is when they're at Pride Rock with Simba and Nala and need to use live bait to distract the hyenas. I was wondering if they were going to dress Timon in a hula costume, but instead he sings the opening lines to "Be Our Guest" from Beauty and the Beast (complete with a faux French accent) and I'm thinking, Are they singing a song from another '90s Disney movie? Oh, yes. Yes, they are. It was very jarring to hear a song from another Disney Renaissance movie in this one, but I suppose Disney does have the rights to it!

My least favorite character, or maybe disappointing would be a more accurate word, was Scar. Perhaps if I had seen this movie without seeing the original, I would have thought Chiwetel Ejiofor did a good job; he does sound menacing and fierce, but he is no Jeremy Irons who made that character. Jeremy Irons will always be Scar to me. In fact, when I reviewed Reversal of Fortune, I mentioned that whenever he spoke, all I could hear was Scar! He just has such a distinct voice that is perfect for a Disney villain. Ejiofor is fine and all, but he's just not the Scar that we all know and love to hate. I was also confused on some of the line readings for Scar. In the original, when Scar is about to push Mufasa off the cliff, he says, "Long. Live. The. King.", making an evil deliberate pause between each word while in the remake, he just nonchalantly says, "Long live the king".  They really should have brought Jeremy Irons back to play Scar just like the did with bringing back James Earl Jones to voice Mufasa. Wouldn't that be funny if they just reused the original voiceover he did? They really could have because Mufasa says the exact same lines, but I have a feeling you could probably tell from the audio quality. Plus, I heard he recorded his lines again for the new one.

Mufasa! Mufasa! Mufasa! I just hear that name and it makes me shiver. Would you believe they don't even have that scene in this movie? That's one of the best scenes with the hyenas. There are still three main hyenas led by Shenzi, the female. I didn't catch the name of the other two, but Ed was definitely not one of them and there is no hyena that just laughs hysterically and stupidly at everything. Instead the other hyenas (one of who is voiced by Keegan-Michael Key) have a running gag where one is always taking up the personal space of the other. It was funny, but it was also the same running gag they used in Finding Dory with the sea lions.

I could not tell the adult female lions apart at all. There are only two of them we really need to know: Sarabi, Simba's mother, and Nala. It's only when they start talking is when I know which is which. Oh, that one sounds like Beyonce, so that's Nala. There is a scene where a female lion is trying to sneak past Scar and the hyenas at night to try to get help and she doesn't speak for awhile. I figured this is when Nala goes out and eventually finds Simba and of course it was. Good thing I've already seen the original!

During the final scene, when Scar and Simba are fighting and the hyenas are ready to pounce, Nala shouts, "Lions, attack!" This is the stupidest line in the movie. First of all, of course the lions know they should attack. You don't need to announce it. Also, why does she need to qualify LIONS? There are only lions or hyenas. I don't think you need to specify the lions should attack. Duh. There's a bit of a rivalry between Nala and Shenzi and they get in a showdown during the battle and we see Nala bite Shenzi in the neck and throws her off the cliff and I'm thinking, Ooh, don't mess with Nala! But then I had to scratch my head when we see Shenzi join the other hyenas right before they're about to turn on Scar. Wait, you mean Nala didn't even kill her? That was lame.

The animals in this movie look so amazing and realistic (well, aside from when they're talking or singing), there were funny moments with Pumba and Timon;  Zazu (voiced by John Oliver) had some funny animal puns, and you will want to sing along with the songs, but I think we all know who the REAL King is!

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Monster Mash

Monsters, Inc.
Directors: Pete Docter, Lee Unrich, and David Silverman
Voice Talent: Billy Crystal, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, James Coburn, Jennifer Tilly
Released: November 2, 2001
Viewed in theaters: November 3, 2001

Oscar nominations:

Best Animated Feature (lost to Shrek)
Best Original Song - "If I Didn't Have You" by Randy Newman (won)
Best Score - Randy Newman (lost to Howard Shore for The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring)
Best Sound Editing (lost to Pearl Harbor)

Monsters, Inc. is the reason I see all Pixar (or any other animated) movies at nine in the evening (or, at the very least on a weekday during the school year). Why, you ask? Well, because I did not have a good viewing experience seeing this and it has haunted me to this day that this was only the second time I've seen the movie. When this movie came out I was living in a small town that only had one theater (and not a very comfortable or big one at that). It was literally only one theater where only one movie played. (Some other films I saw at this theater include The Fellowship of the Ring (that was a big gamble for me as I knew it was a long-ass movie and I went in knowing nothing about Tolkien, so if I didn't like it, it was going to be a long and painful experience for me, but luckily I ended up really getting into the movie and was ready for the next installment when it ended!), A Beautiful Mind, I Am Sam, and Panic Room.

 So when this movie came out I saw it because, even though Pixar was quite young at this time (Monsters, Inc. is their fourth movie), I was a fan of the first two Toy Story movies. (I have never seen A Bug's Life). I honestly don't remember how crowded the theater was, but like I said, it was pretty small so even if the whole theater wasn't packed, that still makes a huge difference. I just remember there was some young kid (maybe two) who were talking/crying/ kicking my seat (they were seated behind me)/just basically annoying the sh*t out of me during the movie, hence making it hard to enjoy the movie so I've always associated this movie with negative thoughts and that's why I never revisited it until recently. I vowed to myself that I would never see another animated movie during the weekend or weekday when kids are out of school. Fast forward to two years later when I see Finding Nemo in a huge theater PACKED with screaming kids. Yeah, I'm an idiot who didn't follow my own advice. However, I saw Wall-E at nine in the evening; I saw Up at nine in the evening; I saw Toy Story 3 at nine in the evening; I saw How To Train Your Dragon and its sequel at nine in the evening; I saw Inside Out at nine in the evening; you get the picture.

Anyway, I'm glad I finally gave Monsters, Inc. a second chance because I really enjoyed it and it's a really cute movie. However, if you really stop to think about it, the basic premise is a little messed up. It's about a society of monsters who get their energy source from the screams of children, so every night they sneak into their rooms via their bedroom closet to scare the young children all over the world, then capture the screams of terrified children, bottling them up into a air-tight container (the screams, not the children!) Yeah, just a little messed up. However, this being a Pixar/Disney movie, it's a very cute and kid-friendly movie. Obviously.

The movie focuses on two monsters named Mike Wazowski (voiced by Billy Crystal) and James P. Sullivan, or, as his friends call him, Sully (voiced by John Goodman) who work at the energy-producing factory, Monsters, Inc. in the town of Monstropolis. The company's motto is "We Scare Because We Care." They work on the scare floor, a huge room that has access to every bedroom closet door of all the children in the world, so, as you can imagine, there are millions upon millions of doors. There is a chart to keep track of where and when they've been and every child has their own "monster" so they always get scared by the same monster because they (the monsters) knows what each child is afraid of. I'm not really sure how they keep track of all the doors and who's been scared, but somehow they manage to keep it all organized. I don't know which is more convoluted: the scare floor in Monsters, Inc. or Riley's head in Inside Out!

Their job is to obtain the screams of children so that Monstropolis is able to function and be the bright and vibrant city that it is. Sully, a large purple and blue fuzzy monster with horns and a long tail is a scarer which means he goes into the bedrooms to scare the children while Mike, his assistant (basically a large green talking eyeball with arms and legs), gives him the stats and numbers he needs. Each scarer has their own assistant and there is a bit of a rivalry between the two top scarers, Sully and a sleazy chameleon-like monster who can blend in with his surroundings, Randall (voiced by Steve Buscemi).

Even though the monsters who are scarers are big and imposing and have sharp teeth/claws/horns, the most amusing part of the movie is that children are considered toxic to the monster world so if something that belongs to them comes back to the monsters' world (or, God forbid, an actual living child being), they treat it as a risk and take it very seriously. When they enter a room, they will hop around, making sure not to touch or come into contact with any toys or clothes laying on the floor and they never physically touch the children, just scare them, capture the screams, and get out of there. We see what happens when one monster has a child's sock stuck to his back after coming back from a job and the CDA (Child Detection Agency) is called and they put everybody into lock down. The monsters who work for the CDA are all wearing haz-mat suits and helmets and carefully dispose of the sock (by blowing it up), then they shave the poor monster who accidentally brought back the sock and scrub him ten times over.  They went through all this trouble for a single sock, just imagine what would happen if an actual child made their way into Monstropolis!

And that is exactly what will happen. When Sully goes to deliver some important paperwork for Mike (he can't because he has a date with his girlfriend, Cecelia (Jennifer Tilly) a Medusa-inspired monster with snakes for her hair; I did love the scene where she tells Mike she's thinking of getting a haircut and all the snakes are very concerned about that), he sees a closet door is out and open. What he doesn't know is that Randall is the one who left the door activated because he is up to no good. He also leaves the door unattended so he doesn't know that Sully has gone through the door to check what's going on. This is where he meets "Boo" (because she likes yelling "Boo!"), a two-year-old child who takes a quick liking to Sully, calling him, "Kitty!"  (Though I don't think Sully looks like a cat...) When she grabs hold of Sully's tail, he quickly untangles herself from him and puts her back in her room and gets tangled in a bunch of her toys as he stumbles out of her room. He quickly disposes of all the objects (which includes a stuffed Nemo toy) by flushing them down a toilet. There is a great reveal when he turns away and the audience sees Boo is on his back.

Sully knows he has to send her back to her world, but Randall has already put away her door and I guess it would raise an alarm if Sully were to re-activate it because he doesn't want anyone (especially the CDA) to know that a toxic child is among them. He gets Mike involved and he starts freaking out and when Boo sneezes in his direction he sprays disinfect on his eye which turns it red and makes him dance around in agony. I admit, I laughed hard at that. It doesn't take long for Sully to realize that children (at least not this one) aren't toxic and they even realize that her laughter is quite strong and that all along they should have been capturing children's laughter instead of their screams.

Sully and Mike are determined to get Boo safely back to her home, which they do, but not without a few obstacles in their way. They have to go through this maze of thousands of doors which is a fun scene. It's very bittersweet when Sully finally has to say goodbye to Boo; they have to destroy her door once she's back in her house because she now knows about the Monster World and they can't have her making any contact with them. Even though we know Randall is the bad guy, there's also another twist of someone conspiring with him, but of course everything works out in the end and Sully even gets to visit Boo one last time after Mike fixed her door.

You think that would be the idea for the sequel; Sully visiting Boo every now and then and maybe getting into some shenanigans in the human world, but they went for a prequel for the second movie. I added Monsters' University to my Netflix queue after I saw the first movie and I think I enjoyed it more than I was expecting. Most people have this at the lower end of their Netflix rankings and while it wouldn't be near the top of mine, I thought it was quite delightful and I had fun watching it. Also,  my monster would be the dean of the university, Dean Hardscrabble who was voiced by Hellen Mirren. The design of that monster was nightmare fuel with her dragon wings and centipede legs...eesh!

Back to the Toy Box

Toy Story 4
Director: Josh Cooley
Voice Talent: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Annie Potts, Joan Cusack, Keanu Reeves, Christina Hendricks, Tony Hale
Released: June 21, 2019
Viewed in theaters: Juen 24, 2019

Is Toy Story 4 a good movie? Yes, of course it is. Was it necessary? A lot of people thought Toy Story 3 had a perfect ending (myself included) and while I don't think having a fourth movie was necessary (the world would have survived without a fourth Toy Story movie; however the world would not survive without Toy Story because Toy Story not existing equals Pixar not existing and how could anyone live in a world where Pixar doesn't exist!), I didn't mind because I love going on a new adventure with these characters we've met from the first three movies. Just because Andy's story is done doesn't mean that there aren't still more stories for the toys to tell. You could really make a whole bunch of these movies and as long as there's a good script and it makes sense for this universe, I'm okay with that. In other words, you could say this series could go to infinity...and beyond! Is Toy Story 4 the best of the series? To me, no. I definitely like the first and third movies better. Of course I still love the second movie and this movie was a joy to watch so even though they're on the "bottom" doesn't mean I dislike them; they're all really amazing.

I think the most surprising thing about this movie was that it didn't make me cry. Yes, I could feel the tears almost well up (especially during one scene), but I never flat-out bawled like I did during Toy Story 3. (To be fair, I didn't cry during the first two movies, but I did get a little choked up during the "When She Loved Me" scene from Toy Story 2). I was all prepared for this big emotional scene, but it never came for me. I had mixed emotions about the ending, but I'll get to that later. I did laugh a lot during this movie; there were so many great and funny scenes, mostly thanks to new characters we are introduced to and we are introduced to a LOT of new characters. So much so that many of the characters we loved from the first three movies were reduced to ancillary characters. So if you're a big fan of Slinky Dog or Hamm or Mr. Potato Head or Rex or even Jessie and Bullseye, don't go in excepting too much from them. Even Buzz Lightyear doesn't have too much screen time (more than the characters I named) because this is Woody's movie and adventure. There is a running joke where Buzz thinks his voice box buttons are his inner thoughts so he pushes the buttons for guidance of what to do in a situation.

The new characters we are introduced to include:
-Ducky and Bunny, stuffed animals of, you guessed it, a duck and a bunny. They are carnival toys waiting to be won by patrons who play the carnival game at the booth they're at. They are voiced by Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele, who, I imagine, improvised most of their lines so they get a lot of funny moments. They're a bit sadistic because their plan for everything is to attack humans by jumping into their faces, calling it a "plush rush". They come across another stuffed animal that has been torn apart by a cat and are both horrified to see what they look like on the inside and one of them comments, "So much fluff!"

-Duke Caboom, a Canadian Evel Knivel-inspired action figure (voiced by Keanu Reeves) who has a sad (albeit funny) backstory where he was chucked by his "kid", Rejean (I'm taking a wild guess that he's from Quebec!), after Duke didn't perform the cool stunts exactly like how they show it on the commercial. I guess they forgot to add the text "Toy does not actually fly" on the bottom of the screen like they did for the Buzz Lightyear commercial. This made me laugh because it's so true! How many times have we ever watched a commercial with a toy that does all these really cool things, but then when you actually play with it, they can't actually jump through fiery hoops like Duke Caboom is shown in the commercial. This makes Rejean chuck poor Duke Caboom, the "Canuck with all the Luck" to the side. Duke's catchphrase is, "I Can-ada!" I felt like he was the equivalent to Toy Story 3's Ken.

-Giggles McDimples is a tiny toy clearly modeled after Polly Pocket and when we meet her, she's in one of those plastic shells. I thought her introduction was really funny. She takes a liking to Woody since he's a sheriff and she's Officer McDimples who runs Pet Patrol. There's a part in the movie when the toys are being terrorized by a cat and being that she is so small, she gets swallowed by it! I was much more concerned for the cat, not going to lie! Of course the cat eventually gags it up and Giggles McDimples is covered in cat phlegm. Lovely. I will say, if you compare the cat in this movie to Sid's dog, Scud, in the first Toy Story, wow! What a difference! I mean, it has been 24 years they've had to prefect this technology!

-Gabby Gabby (voiced by Christina Hendricks) is a pull-string doll from the 1950s who lives in an antique store and just wants a kid to love and play with her. She is presented as the villain as she is trying to steal Woody's voice box since hers is broken and she thinks the only way for a child to love her is if she isn't broken. She has these creepy ventriloquist dummy minions who don't talk; they just do her bidding. I will discuss more about her in my spoiler section, but I just wanted to say that I only remember ever having one pull-string toy, ever, in my life, and that was a stuffed Theodore from Alvin and the Chipmunks. I can't even remember any of the things he said.

-Forky (voiced by Tony Hale) is a plastic spork with pipe cleaner arms and a face created by Bonnie, the young girl Andy gave his toys to in the last movie (you know, the part that made everybody shed tears). He quickly becomes her favorite "toy", but Forky, not knowing why he exists (don't we all have those existential crises?), keeps wanting to throw himself in the trash because he believes that's where he belongs, but Woody, knowing how much Forky means to Bonnie, keeps fishing him out of the trash. Bonnie's attachment to Forky was a little weird. I understand she made him during kindergarten orientation and was quite proud of him, but she sleeps with him like she's cuddling a stuffed animal (how can you cuddle a plastic spork??) and when she can't find him during a family road trip with her parents, her dad tells her she can make another one and she freaks out. If I were her parents, I would be kicking myself for ever buying her toys since she she's so content with a plastic spork! It reminds me when I buy a cat toy for my cat, but I see him playing with my hair ties or the Starbucks green stopper thingy way more than when he plays with his toys! (By the way, I wonder if pet toys are sentient in this world? I hope not because that would be a little terrifying for them to be chewed by a dog or chased by a cat!) At least they didn't have to pay for the toys she received from Andy. Bonnie brings all of her toys on the road trip and I laughed when I heard a podcast review of someone complaining of how unrealistic that was because whenever my nieces visit my parents they bring a lot of their toys! Of course I know they did that in the movie so all the toys we've all come to know and love from the first movie (and Bonnie's toys we met in the third movie) will be involved in the plot, even if it's just a few minutes of screen time. Even Woody is brought along even though he's been reduced to mostly staying in the closet with the other toys that don't get much playtime. Poor Woody; literally every toy that belonged to Andy gets playtime (even the little green aliens! Even Hamm who is't really a toy because's he actually a piggy bank!) and he is left in the closet collecting dust bunnies. Not cool, Bonnie. The family is driving an RV and they make a lot of stops along the way and each time Woody has to keep Forky from jumping in the trash or running away. At one point, Forky just flings himself out of the window of the moving vehicle (very dark for a children's movie!) and Woody jumps after him, promising the others he'll return with Forky. Well, that doesn't exactly happen as they have a lot of obstacles to get through!

-Bo Peep (voiced by Annie Potts) is not a new character since she was in the first two movies, but she is an important part of this movie. We see a flashback of her getting packed away to be sent to a new home once Molly has gotten too old for her. Woody is set on rescuing her, but she tells him it's time to move on, but suggests that he could hop in the box with her since "kids lose their toys all the time" (I never lost any of my toys, thankyouverymuch!), but Woody is too loyal to Andy to do that. We see Molly's room and she had these little doll figurines which I totally had! They were these ceramic figures that you received each year for your birthday with the corresponding age attached to them. They went up to age 16, but I think I only got them until I was 12. I had the blonde figurines, but when my family moved, a few of them broke and we replaced them with the brunette ones because I guess we couldn't find the blonde ones. I mean, it didn't really matter since I am neither blonde nor brunette! But I had to laugh when I saw those because it brought back memories and I probably otherwise would have completely forgotten about them. They are sentient in this movie, so does that mean Molly played with them? We know Bo is sentient because Andy used her as a damsel in distress for Woody to rescue. I never played with those figurines because they were fragile! They just stayed on my shelf with my other ceramic figurines.

Woody meets up with Bo again after all these years. She has shed her dress and bonnet for a more utilitarian outfit. There is a funny moment when Woody can't remember the name of her three sheep (who are all connected together) and as far as I know, we've never actually known the names of her sheep. They are Billy, Goat, and Gruff and yes, they are very cute for being ceramic sheep. By the way, they're part of a lamp set, right? I have never heard of a lamp set where you can move the pieces; I would think that they would be glued to the actual lamp, but maybe they are able to remove themselves? I've only had lamps that were just lamps; so I don't know how that would work, I also don't know why I'm trying to work out the logistics of how that would work. Bo lives in an antique shop, but often sneaks out to a carnival nearby, hence why we have antique toys and carnival toys convening together. There is a fun callback to the first movie when Bo greets Buzz with, "My old moving buddy!" Which while it's true that Bo mention she's found her moving buddy once they all meet Buzz, did she not remember that Buzz was next door almost being blown to smithereens by Sid while all the toys were being shipped to the new house in the moving van? So technically they were never moving buddies. Just a small little nitpick!

For the rest of this review, I'm going to get into spoilers so you have been warned! SPOILERS START NOW! DON'T READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED!! SERIOUSLY, I AM WARNING YOU! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! 

SPOILERS
START
NOW!

I was surprised by how quickly the Forky storyline was concluded. After Woody tells him how important he is to Bonnie and that he's an important part to her childhood memories, Forky is all about getting back to her, but by that time Woody has been distracted by seeing Bo's lamp in the antique shop and that's when the movie goes in that direction. Of course Forky is still an integral to the plot of the movie, but he no longer wants to throw himself in the trash.

Like Stinky Pete and Lotso, Gabby Gabby is considered the villain of this movie, however while they start out as characters you think can be trusted only to realize they're not so nice, the doll starts out very aggressive, clearly wanting Woody's voice box, but turns into a sympathetic character. She is hoping to be "adopted" by Harmony, the granddaughter of the woman who owns the antique shop and she believes the only way Harmony will love her is if her voice box works. I thought Harmony was going to want her even if her voice box didn't work, but no, the movie goes another way. Gabby gets a new voice box (Woody gives her his in exchange for Forky as she had the spork held hostage) and pulls her string to make Harmony notice her. At first, the girl seems smitten with the doll, but then she's like, "Nah" and tosses her back into the crate. I literally "ahh"-ed during this moment; I felt bad for Gabby Gabby! At first I was mad with Harmony, but you know what? I can't really blame the girl. What child from this decade would want a doll from the '50s? They all have this really creepy look to them. Maybe if Gabby was an American Girl Doll she might have had more luck...

However, Gabby will get her happy ending when she is picked up by a lost girl at the carnival who turns to the doll for comfort. This is the scene where I came closest to crying. Of course who knows how long Gabby is forgotten about once the girl gets home and isn't upset about being lost anymore and starts playing on her iPhone?

I did not cry at the end which was surprising to me because I was expecting this super emotional scene. I was more bemused than upset. I guess I should have seen the ending coming because all through the movie Bo is telling Woody how great it is to be on her own and how she's independent and doesn't need a kid to play with her. She's much more satisfied helping other toys finding kids of their own. So when Woody decides to stay with Bo at the end instead of going back with his other toy friends, I wasn't really that shocked. I was just confused because through all the previous movies, Woody has been telling his friends how important it is to stay together and that a toy's job is to make their kid happy. Woody has always been about every toy staying together, but now he's going to leave them to be with Bo Peep. Eh, I wasn't crazy about that. I know Bo is supposed to be his "girlfriend", but they only have a few flirty scenes in the first two movies. Woody has a much more stronger relationship with Buzz, with Slinky Dog, with Jessie, just to name a few. Also, the notion that toys can have romantic relationships is a little weird. I'm okay with one between Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head or Barbie and Ken because at least those are already pairs. There's a scene at the end where it looks like Woody and Bo are about to kiss and I'm thinking, Please don't. I'm okay with Andy making them kiss by tapping their faces together because it's meant to be funny and it's a kid having the damsel kiss the hero her after she is rescued. Luckily they do not kiss! I wasn't too upset that Woody was leaving his toy friends (probably why I didn't cry) because he wasn't getting much playtime with Bonnie anymore, so might as well join a traveling carnival with Bo and his new toy friends so he's not sitting in a closet all day. I feel the most bad for Bullseye because he is like a loyal dog to Woody. Yes, I know he still has Jessie, but that has to be hard on the poor little horse! Hmm, does this mean that Bo is the Yoko Ono of the Toy Story franchise?

You know what I would love to see? A prequel! How did Andy obtain Woody? It is believed he belonged to Andy's father who we don't really know anything about, so a prequel could answer a lot of these questions. You're welcome for the idea, Pixar!

Adventure is Out There

Up

Directors: Pete Docter and Bob Peterson

Voice Talent: Ed Asner, Christoper Plummer, Jordan Nagai, Delroy Lindo, Bob Peterson

Released: May 29, 2009

Viewed in theaters: June 7, 2009

Oscar nominations:

Best Picture (lost to The Hurt Locker)

Best Animated Feature (won)

Best Score - Michael Giacchino (won)

Best Original Screenplay - Pete Docter, Bob Peterson, and Tom McCarthy (lost to Mark Boal for The Hurt Locker)

Best Sound Editing (lost to The Hurt Locker)

I propose a challenge for everyone reading this. I challenge you to watch this movie and not cry within the first ten to fifteen minutes. Or at the very least, not get a lump in your throat. I obtained the lump in my throat during the Carl and Ellie montage when we discover that Ellie isn't able to have children and by that point, I knew the waterworks were about to start. Sure enough, the tears are starting to form when (a much elderly by then) Carl is helping Ellie up a hill to have a picnic, then the next thing we know she's in a hospital bed, then he's at her funeral and the tears are flowing by then. But guess what? That scene doesn't even evoke the most emotion out of me; oh no, there will be another scene later on in the movie that will make me cry even harder if that's even possible! Those Pixar movies really know how to mess with your emotions, don't they?

Up is probably the most famous for its first ten minutes. Even if you've never seen it (for shame!), you're probably well aware of the opening montage as that's all anybody ever talks about when it comes to this movie. While watching this, I couldn't help asking myself such questions as, How does this man fly his house with only balloons attached to it? How does he get said balloons to fit through his chimney (and there are thousands of them!)? When they land in South America on top of the cliff where Paradise Falls is located, how does Carl, an eighty-year-old man, mind you, have the strength to keep hold of his house via the hose as though he's just carrying a balloon? (I mean, I guess he is carrying a balloon, along with several hundred others and his HOUSE!) Why does Russell's mom seem not to be worried about him? Why is Russell himself very lackadaisical about being on the outside of the blimp and nearly gets killed several times as he has many close calls of falling to his death, but all he can say is, "Whee, this is fun!"/"This is so cool!", even though he is scared to death when he's on Carl's front porch when the house starts its ascent (and he's much more safe when he's on that porch than any other time in the movie!) There are definitely some scratch-your-head moments (and there are more I will point out), but I really can't quibble about that. After all, this is the same studio who gave us sentient toys and talking fish and a rat who cooks at a restaurant in Paris. And whatever anybody says, this movie is still more believable than any of the Cars movies. (I just don't understand how a society of vehicles work. How do they eat? Is fuel their food? How are new cars made? Why are there no humans in that world?)

We first meet our protagonist, Carl Fredrickson, as a young wide-eyed introverted boy who loves watching movies about adventures, his favorite being about his hero, the famed explorer Charles Muntz who has discovered a skeleton of some sort of "beast", but has been accused of fabricating it. He vows to return to Paradise Falls, the place in South America where he discovered the fossils, and find the creature. He has a blimp called The Spirit of Adventure where he travels with his many canine companions. Carl is about eight when he watches these documentary films and Charles looks to be in his thirties; maybe in his twenties at the youngest. Just keep that in mind.

Carl meets another explorer enthusiast and Charles Muntz fan, Ellie, a loquacious girl who graciously invites him to join her adventure club. She shows him her adventure book where she tells him she plans to one day follow in the footsteps of their hero and travel to South America where she wants to live in her clubhouse on top of Paradise Falls. She doesn't know how she's going to get there and Carl suggests a blimp just like Muntz has. Ellie thinks that's a great idea and makes him "cross his heart" that he'll take them there someday and he promises he will. I love how she describes South America - "It's like America, but it's south!"

They form a friendship which will inevitably turn into an unbreakable bond and the two marry and this is when we get our montage and where we need to get our Kleenex handy! We see where the balloons come in because they both work at the zoo; Ellie looks to work in the aviary (she has a bird on her shoulder) and Carl sells balloons. They create a fund for their South America trip, but life keeps happening and they have to dip into their savings to fix a broken car or repairs on the house or anything of that sort. (Not sure why they kept smashing the jar with a hammer when they needed to get their money when they could have just as easily turned the jar over and poured the money out!)
They are getting older and Carl realizes that he still has not taken Ellie on her adventure so he purchases airline tickets to Peru which he plans to surprise her with. Alas, it is too late and Ellie will never get to go on her adventure of a lifetime. And Pixar is making everybody cry buckets.

Carl (voiced by Ed Asner)  is now a curmudgeon who refuses to leave his house even though the other homes around it have been torn down to build a new development with much larger buildings. The contractor keeps bribing Carl with money to move, but he refuses, so they just keep building around him. I'm not really sure how something like that works, but I would think if your neighborhood is being torn down, you would HAVE to move (and hopefully they would compensate you nicely). I don't think you could just stay there. But, remember, this is a movie with talking dogs.

After a small incident where Carl injures a construction worker in a fit of rage, he is sent to court where he is deemed "a pubic menace" and is sentenced to move to the retirement home, Shady Oaks. (Wonder if it's a sister company to Shady Pines; I can see Carl and Sophia Petrillo getting along just fine!) When Shady Oaks employees come to retrieve Carl, he has other plans and to their surprise, they watch as the house breaks free from its foundation and lifts into the sky with a whole bunch of balloons streaming out of the chimney. (Still not sure how he managed to get all those balloons in that chimney!) I read that over 20,000 balloons were animated for this sequence. We also see a small cameo from a  stuffed Lotso bear when the house passes by an apartment building where we see a young girl's room. Pixar likes to put in a little Easter egg for their next movie and Toy Story 3 followed Up. Hopefully this Lotso got lots of love from his owner so he doesn't turn out jaded and cynical like Lotso from Toy Story 3! Not gonna lie; I got really nervous when Carl got awfully close to those wires even though I knew he wasn't going to hit them!

Carl promised a young Ellie he was going to take her to Paradise Falls and he still vows to keep that promise; even if Ellie is no longer physically with him. He soon finds out, however, he's not alone, and I'm not talking about Ellie's cremated remains in a vase on top of the mantle. Russell, a young boy who belongs to a Wilderness Explorer Club who we were introduced to a couple scenes ago when he asked Carl if he could help him in order to get his "Assisting the Elderly" badge, the only one left he needs, was hiding under Carl's porch, looking for a fictitious perky bird Carl had made up to get rid of the kid so he could leave him alone. Ha, joke's on you, Carl! It is pretty funny when he discovers Russell is airborne with him. He's sitting in his chair when he hears someone knocking on the front door...while he's several thousand feet in the air. This is when he discovers Russell visibly shaking on the front porch...and this fear of heights will soon diminish. I did laugh when Carl takes out his hearing aid when the kid is rambling on and on.

They soon manage to travel all the way to South America (I have no idea how that is even feasible!) and land on top of Paradise Falls. This is where the movie turns a little bit crazy, but at the same time, we learn how everything ties in. First we meet a tall colorful exotic bird similar in size and stature to an emu or an ostrich, I would guess. This bird seems to love chocolate; actually it loves eating anything as it eats Carl's walker (before spitting it back up) and tries to eat a balloon which pops in its throat. I was afraid she was going to choke on it, but she spits the deflated balloon out. Despite being dubbed "Kevin" by Russell, we soon find out she is a female bird. Then we will meet Dug, a "talking" golden retriever who is easily distracted by squirrels. "SQUIRREL!" Dug has a device on his collar that allows him to "speak" English. This thing doesn't seem to be translating his barks, but actually his inner thoughts because he's not barking when he's "speaking". Dug is my favorite character in this movie.

Dug isn't the only talking dog in Paradise Falls. Remember Charles Muntz, the guy who should be dead by now because he is, at the very least, fifteen years older than Carl, who is now 80? (And I'm willing to bet there's more than fifteen years between them). The point is, this guy should be dead, but he's still very much alive (and voiced by Christopher Plummer) and still in South America where he is still trying to seek the creature of the skeleton he found (who, coincidentally, looks a lot like Kevin -ruh-roh!) He has a whole crew of canine companions who have these high tech collars that allow them to talk. I don't understand why this guy is so obsessed with finding this bird when he could literally be making millions of dollars (if not billions) by manufacturing this collar. Do you know how many people would love to communicate with their dogs? This things is a goldmine! I know, I know, he wants people to believe him about the bird being real, so he's set on finding one.

Carl is in awe when he meets his childhood hero (probably because he's still alive!) and he invites them to dinner onboard the Spirit of Adventure. (Should that be in italics?) Not only can his bevy of dogs talk, but they perform tasks such as house (airship?) cleaning and even cooking. This guy trained dogs how to cook. Just let that sink in. I love when the dog serves Russell his hot dog, he tries to eat it! When Muntz tells Carl that it's "a real treat" to have guests visiting him, all the dogs get excited when they hear the word "treat." There's just lots of little funny moments with the dogs that even I, as a cat person, can enjoy.

Muntz's top dogs are Alpha, Betta, and Gamma. Alpha is an intimidating doberman, but his collar has broken and he speaks with a squeaky cartoon-y voice which doesn't make him very intimidating at all. I not only love the way his cadence sounds; but the language he uses is also quite amusing: "Master will be most pleased." Muntz has all these dogs, not only to perform all these household tasks for him, but to help him track the bird. When he shows the skeleton of the creature he is trying to capture, stupid Russell is all like, "Hey, that looks like my new giant bird pet!" and proceeds to tell Muntz pretty much exactly how to capture the bird by telling him she likes chocolate. Carl tries to play it off, telling Muntz the bird ran off and is gone now. See, Carl could have easily let Muntz take the bird, but he knows Russell is attached to it and doesn't want anything bad to happen to her. You know that saying, Never meet your hero because you might end up being disappointed? Well that applies to this scenario because Carl is soon learning that his hero is kind of a huge jerk.

Kevin is spotted by Muntz and he orders his dogs to attack her. She is saved by Carl and Russell and Dug, who now considers Carl his new master. However, Kevin get injured by Alpha while trying to escape and they help her get back to her nest and offspring. Muntz is waiting with a net and captures her and it's a very upsetting scene! Carl has to choose between saving Kevin or saving his house. In order to stop Carl from freeing Kevin, Muntz sets his house on fire and Carl runs to pull it out of harms way while the dogs drag Kevin onboard the blimp.

Remember when I said that there's a scene that made me cry even more than the montage? After Carl has placed the house by the waterfall, exactly where Ellie dreamed of living, he looks at her adventure book. She had a section labeled "Stuff I'm Going To Do" which would document all her adventures in South America. We see Carl looking at this page earlier in the movie, forlorn that Ellie never got to have her adventure but it isn't until this moment when he noticed that there are photos beyond that page. She has their wedding photo and all the memories they spent together. She may have never gotten to go to Paradise Falls, but this was her adventure. At the bottom of the last page, she wrote, "Thanks for the adventure. Now go have a new one! Love, Ellie." Yes, this is the scene that made the tears flow. I bet with all the crying I've done watching Pixar movies, I could fill up a two-liter bottle!

This motivates Carl to rescue Kevin and this is when we get a crazy scene with Russell nearly falling to his death on the outside of the airship and dogs are flying bomber planes and Carl and Muntz have their old man fight (which was pretty funny) and Muntz gets his Disney-esque death by falling to his demise. Kevin is returned safely to her babies and the others return home with the Spirit of Adventure and Carl becomes a grandfather figure for Russell, who seems to have adopted Dug, even though he said earlier in the movie that his apartment building doesn't allow dogs.

There are definitely flaws with this movie, but the good outweigh the bad; I mean, I can't say there's really anything bad about this movie. Among Pixar's movies, I would personally rank it in my top - SQUIRREL! - ten, maybe even five, but I'd have to really think about where it would be on my list. Perhaps a Pixar ranking is in the works, wink, wink.

You're Either In or You're Out

Ocean's Eleven

Director: Steven Soderbergh

Cast: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Andy Garcia, Julia Roberts, Don Cheadle, Carl Reiner, Elliot Gould, Bernie Mac, Casey Affleck, Scott Caan

Released: December 7, 2001

Viewed in theaters: December 18, 2001

Ocean's Eleven is a fun movie. It's also a ridiculous movie if you really stop to think about it. I mean, there's no way that eleven people could ever simultaneously rob three Las Vegas casinos in one night such as they did in this movie. Once we get introduced to the characters and the plot for the con, you can just sit back and enjoy the ride. 

Danny Ocean (George Clooney) has just been released from prison (for attempted robbery, as we will soon see that is what he likes to do) and decides he wants to rob the Bellagio, the Mirage, and the MGM Grand casinos all in one night. I mean, why be so greedy? Why not just rob one of the places? There is a reason why he is targeting these three particular casinos. Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia), the man who owns these casinos, is involved with Danny's ex-wife, Tess (Julia Roberts) and even though he says this isn't about her, it's totally about her.

He reunites with his partner-in-crime pal, Rusty (Brad Pitt), where he tells him his idea and they recruit a handful of men to help him with the job. They all have a role to play in the heist; some are a little more important than others. They need someone to help finance the heist and with casino security knowledge so they go to an old friend, Reuben (Elliot Gould), who once owned a casino of his own. Terry Benedict is a rival of his, so he's happy to help with the heist. I assumed he helped pay for the replica of the vault they reconstruct and he offers his home as a sort of headquarters, but other than that, he really doesn't help with the actual heist. You always need a tech guy in a heist like this so this is where Livingston Dell (Eddie Jamison) comes in. He is in charge of all the electronics and surveillance. He has to sneak into the security room to set up cameras so the crew can see what's going on. Of course we get the inevitable scene with him where it looks like he's about to get caught by a security guard, but instead he gives him something back he forget and asks him a question about how the wires are working. They need someone with knowledge of explosives when it comes times to blow the vault door open, so Basher (Don Cheadle) is recruited He will also help when they need to turn off the electricity in the city for under a minute. For some reason, they made him British and he talks in this really heavy accent which is hard to understand at times. I was really surprised when they replaced Don Cheadle with Terrance Howard in the other two movies. The Malloy brothers, Turk and Virgil (Casey Affleck and Scoot Caan; I'm not sure who plays who) come in handy as drivers and just help with little things, such as pretending to get into a fight at the casino when one lets go of a bunch of balloons to block a security camera. They're just sort of there to assist with small little details. Rusty flies to Florida to convince con man Saul (Carl Reiner) to join them. He will come up with an elaborate story to fool Benedict. Somebody needs to fit into a small money cart that will be wheeled into the vault room (aka the room where all the money is!) so they hire Yen (Qin Shaobo) of "The Amazing Yen" after they see his acrobat show in Vegas. He's very small and limber and can bend his body in ridiculous ways so he's the perfect person to fit into a small box. Danny gets a card dealer he knows, Frank (Bernie Mac), to be transferred from Atlantic City to Vegas so he can cause a diversion later on. I guess he's the closest thing they have to an inside man. Last, but not least, they feel like they need one more person so Danny travels to Chicago where he finds Linus (Matt Damon), after observing his pickpocketing skills. These skills will come in handy with their heists.

When Danny and Rusty propose their idea to Reuben, he tells them robbing a Las Vegas casino (let alone three!) can't be done and tells them about the three closest times anyone's ever come close to robbing a casino. One happened in the sixties, one in the '71, and one in '87. Each time the perpetrator gets a little bit closer to getting a step outside (in fact the '87 guy actually does get outside), but none get away with the crime. I like how this scene is shot: each scene is shot in correspondence to how that time period would look on film (compete with what everyone is wearing and the lighting), the music matches the era ("Take My Breath Away" is played for the '87 con).

Turns out Benedict keeps all the money in the Bellagio's vault, so while they are still robbing three casinos, they only need to do it one place. At least that's a little more realistic..as much as this movie can be realistic! They plan to hit the casino on the same night a big boxing match is being held in Vegas because they know that will bring in a lot of gamblers with all the tourists coming to see the fight (not to mention all the celebrities) and all casinos are supposed to always have a set amount of money on hand so they will have enough. They estimate there will be 160 million dollars in the vault that night and will divide the money eleven ways. The fight will be held in two weeks so that's how much time they have to prepare. In order to do that, Linus goes to the casino everyday where he observes every move Benedict makes and where he is at all times. Lucky for him (and everyone else), this guy has a very set schedule and does the same thing everyday, at the precise minute right down to going to the bathroom. Seems quite convenient for our con artists! This is also when we're introduced to Tess, who works as the curator at a museum at one of the hotels, and Rusty finds out the real reason why Danny is so set on stealing from three casinos that belong to Benedict.

They build a replica of the vault so they can practice with Yen in the money-cart. This is the most dangerous part of the job because he will only have thirty minutes before he runs out of air so they need to make sure he gets where he needs to be in time so he won't suffocate. They also use this replica to make sure he can jump from the cart to another location without signaling the laser lights. While they do get blue prints to the vault, I find it hard to believe they would know the exact replica of it. And exactly how much did it cost to build this replica? If they had an inside man, this would make more sense. They do mention that Frank provided some information, but I doubt a blackjack dealer who just started working there would know all this information! Maybe I'm putting too much thought into this as this is a movie you're just supposed to watch and enjoy.

I do love the scene where the eleven of them are meeting in Vegas for the first time at Reuben's house going over the plan. Yen, who knows very, very little English, asks something in Chinese and Rusty answers him (in English, but still impressive that he knew what Yen was asking) with a very detailed answer. The look on Basher's face as Rusty is answering him is highly amusing.

Saul has a very good question. He wants to know if they get though the security doors and down an elevator they can't move and pass security guards with guns and though a vault that's pretty much impossible to open and not be seen by the cameras, that they're just supposed to walk out of there with all that money. Danny simply answers, "Yes" and Saul seems satisfied with that. Now, of course they don't want to give anything away with how they do plan to do this. As a viewer, I'm screaming at my screen because I want to know, but presumably Danny and Rusty tell everyone their idea off camera.

Danny has been red-flagged by Benedict himself because he has come to see Tess so Benedict knows he's in town and doesn't want him in his hotel. All security will be watching him when he sets foot in the casino. Of course, this is all part of Danny's grand scheme because he thought of everything. They play it off like it's a problem, but Danny knows what he's doing. This is when everyone else (who knows Danny used to be married to Tess) find out about Tess's involvement and there's a funny line where Saul says, "Tess is with Benedict now? She's too tall for him!"

There's an elevator that requires a six digit passcode every so many hours and this is where Linus will come in and will swipe the codes from Benedict being the stealthy pickpocket he is. They will need to turn the laser lights in the elevator shaft off in order to go through it. Basher suggests a device called a pinch (which they steal from The California Institute of Advanced Science) which can shut off all the power in Las Vegas for thirty seconds. While this is going on, Danny and Linus are doing a Mission: Impossible type move where they have to rappel down the elevator shaft before the lights turn back on. When the electricity comes back on thirty seconds later you see that everyone at the fight has become rowdy, so Terry and Tess leave. The patrons at the casino have also gone crazy and it turns into a free for all. Nobody seems to question that the electricity has gone out and there's not even a storm to justify it.

This is the type of movie where you know nothing bad is going to happen and that our protagonist are going to get away with this ridiculous task of stealing $160 millions from a highly guarded casino. You don't know how they're going to do it, but you know it's going to happen. There may be a few hiccups along the way (and we see plenty of them!), but you know they're going to get out of any jams they may find themselves in. You're really not sure what's going to happen until it folds out on screen, so it's fun to see the twists and turns they take. I had forgotten about how they planned to walk out with all the money, but I have to wonder, where did they get SWAT uniforms and trucks? Did Reuben provide those too? Did they share a cut with someone who provided those for them?

There is an amusing running joke throughout the film, where in each new scene he's in, Rusty is usually eating some type of food. I remember seeing nachos, a fruit cup, shrimp cocktail (very Vegas-y), ice cream, and a burger. And those are just the ones I remember off the top of my head.

Something I've never noticed before was during the credits (probably because I never watched the end credits), after they credit everyone, it ends with, "And introducing Julia Roberts as Tess". Obviously this was a joke/Easter egg because she was already a huge star by then and had already been in many, many famous movies and had won her Oscar the previous year. It just made me do a double take when I saw that!

I've seen this movie a handful of times, but I've only seen Ocean's Twelve and Ocean's Thirteen once. I don't remember anything about either of them except that I didn't enjoy watching them and thought they were a bit boring, or at least not as fun a the first one. There is one part I remember about the second movie and that's when Tess pretends to be Julia Roberts as she bares a striking resemblance to her...because she IS Julia Roberts, haha. I don't remember why she had to pretend to be the famous actress, but it was an amusing scene, although you have to wonder...if Julia Roberts exists in the same world as these characters, then why not George Clooney or Brad Pitt or Matt Damon? How come nobody mistakes Danny, Rusty, or Linus for those famous actors? I also saw the spin-off,Ocean's Eight, where Sandra Bullocks play Danny's sister and she recruits her own team of thieves to rob jewelry at the Met Gala. While not as good as the original (and while I know the 2001 is a remake of a 1960 movie of the same name with Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis Jr, I consider the 2001 film the original because nobody ever talks about the 1960 movie or probably even knows it exists because the 2001 film is much more well known; heck, I didn't even know this was a remake until several years later!), I did enjoy it more than the sequels. My only gripe (and spoilers for Ocean's Eight about to come) is that they make this big deal how all these women were able to pull off his huge con, but psyche! Yen from the other movies was there all along (recruited by Sandra Bullock unbeknownst to the viewing audience) and helped them with a major part of the scheme. I was like, seriously? I know they wanted to have a fun cameo from the other Ocean movies, but I groaned out loud when I saw that. 

Death Wish

Free Solo
Directors: Jimmy Chin and Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi
Released: September 28, 2018

Oscar nominations:
Best Documentary (Won)

I don't mean to start out this review with such a morose statement, but I predict that the guy who this documentary revolves around will be dead by the time he's 40. Alex Honnold is 33 at the moment and he's known for free soloing which is where you rock climb without any ropes or basically any kind of safety gear. Sounds pretty stupid if you ask me. Two years ago he became the first person ever to free solo El Capitan, a massive rock formation in Yosemite National Park and it was captured on camera and thus this documentary was born. I vaguely remember hearing about this on the news when it happened.

Before I started watching this, I checked to see if he was still alive (I didn't know for sure!) He is, but even knowing that it still made me nervous while watching him climb so high without any safety gear! I can't imagine that they would still release the film if he had died. I mean, they wouldn't do that, would they?

In the mid-2000s, Honnold free soloed cliff walls  around 1,500-2,000 feet tall and this is where he started becoming known to people who follow this kind of thing (unlike me!) He has his eyes set on El Capitan because nobody has ever free soloed it and it seems like the reason that has never happened is because it seems impossible (and very dangerous!) They talk to a mountain climber (one of many they talk to and I don't remember any of their names) who has climbed El Capitan many times and he said he would never free solo it, although he has free soloed many other mountains in Yosemite.

Of course it would be stupid for Honnold to climb this mountain sans safety gear on his first try and the film documents him climbing it many times with ropes and harnesses and taking copious notes. We see pages and pages of a notebook filled with pretty much every little detail you can find on the mountain. It kind of reminds me of a playbook coaches uses in football games because he's using it to plot every move he'll make when he'll eventually free solo it. He has to assess every crack and crevice on the rock wall (some just barely big enough to hold only your big toe!) and determine which maneuver will be the safest. We see him fall on many of his trial attempts, but luckily he is attached to ropes so these trial runs are quite important! I don't remember if they said how many times he climbed El Capitan in the film, but I watched a TED talk he did and he said he climbed it 50 times within the last decade.

The mountain is divided into "pitches" and each one is given a name. One of his dilemmas while free soloing El Capitan will have to be choosing between "The Boulder Problem" route or "The Glass Wall" route. Both are very scary and seem impossible for someone free soloing. Also, both are high enough that if he falls, he's dead. In "The Boulder Problem", he will have very narrow crevices to work with and will have to know exactly how he plans to maneuver his arms and legs on each crevice. I think he even mentions that there's a small crevice just barely big enough to put his toe on. Towards the end of this pitch, he'll have to do a karate kick to reach a bigger rock he needs to get to and really stretch his leg to get to it. "The Glass Wall" is exactly what it sounds like: it will literally be like trying to climb a glass wall. In the end, he will choose "The Boulder Problem" route. I guess it was the lesser of two evils. There's another pitch called the "Monster Offwidth" where he says in order to get through it you have to do these crazy yoga poses and if you can't hold them, then you will die. It almost looks like he's climbing straight up a chimney because he's between these two narrow vertical rocks. It looks very claustrophobic to me! Needless to say this guy is in pretty good shape. While that is important, it still won't stop you from making a fatal mistake!

His camera crew consists of other mountain climbers and people who know him pretty well and this will be the first time one of his climbs will be documented. Even they have to assess the mountain to know where they're going to set the cameras and where they will film him. They are nervous because they don't want to accidentally kick a rock out of place or anything that could drastically change Honnold's outcome. They are also nervous about filming him because knowing he has a camera on him could add more pressure to Honnold and he could lose his concentration which is something he needs 100% of when doing something like this. While his family and close friends are supportive of him, none of them are thrilled that he wants to free solo this massive rock (or any formation of rock, really). His mom says she doesn't even want to know when he'll be free soloing or else she'll just be worrying while it's going on. His rock climbing friends tell him he does not have to do this; that he doesn't owe anybody anything. His camera crew friends are super nervous about filming this crazy expedition. You can't really blame anybody for being scared about his determination to accomplish this crazy feat because it's mentioned that every free solo climber (at least the well known ones) are now all dead. We get a little montage of how this one died and how that one died (yeah, basically they all fell off a mountain to their deaths). Some were in their 50s when they perished, others only in their 20s or 30s.

The person I feel the most bad for is his girlfriend, Sanni, who he met at a book signing in Seattle. Now I don't know how long they had been dating when we see them discussing his upcoming free solo climb and he says having her in the equation will not change his mind about free soloing El Capitan. It seems like they had been dating long enough that they bought a house together in Las Vegas so it seems like it's somewhat of a serious relationship. At the beginning of the movie Honnold is asked if he has a girlfriend and he says he's headed in the direction of having one, so I can only assume that part was filmed when he first met Sanni (if this is the same woman he's talking about) and he says he will always choose rock climbing over any woman. Ouch. Now, again, this was presumably filmed before they started having a serious relationship, but if I were that girl, I would be a little ticked off if I saw that. If I were her I would dump his sorry ass because he does not seem to care at all that she doesn't want him to do this because she's scared for his life. He's determined to do this whether or not anyone else wants him to or not. She is relieved (of course!) when she gets the phone call from him once he has successfully scaled the mountain and repeatedly tells him she is proud of him. Now I have no idea if they're still together or if he retired from the dangerous sport once he completed his White Whale of free solo climbing. He does mention that there's always a mountain bigger than the previous one that someone will try to attempt. He seems to make a good amount of money from sponsors so he could comfortably settle down, but the question is, does he want to? I think she would be stupid not to dump him if he does continue to free solo because why put yourself through that constant worry and trepidation?

I wouldn't say that Honnold doesn't seem to care about the possibility that he could die, but it almost seems like he doesn't care about the possibility that he could die. He seems more concerned that his friends would have to witness it if it did happen. He is not a reckless climber by any means as he thoroughly did his homework on El Capitan and knows how to turn his full attention to what he's doing while climbing, but that still won't stop you from the possibility of falling because any small wrong move you make could mean the end of your life. We see him get a scan of his brain and apparently his amydala doesn't get stimulated very much which could explain why he free solos, but it seems like he doesn't do other thrill seeking activities like bungee jumping or sky diving (though maybe he finds those too safe!)

He first attempts to free solo El Capitan in the fall of 2016 and wakes up super early when it's still dark outside. The thinking is they want to start at a certain time so the sun won't be in his eyes during critical moments of the climb. It's still dark when he decides to bail. I don't know exactly how high he was, but I think if he had fallen at that point, he would have only broken some bones. I guess he didn't feel comfortable going on with the climb, plus all the cameras were making him nervous. On the day of the accomplished climb, they reconfigure the cameras so they're not as obvious, though at certain points you see him saying something to the camera so they're not that hidden. I have to wonder if the complete darkness was the reason why he bailed the first time because this time it's daylight when he starts out. Yes, he had a flashlight on his helmet, but it was pitch dark!

He completed the task two years ago on June 3, 2017. It only took him just under four hours to climb up almost 3,000 feet which seems pretty fast to me...but what do I know. I literally know nothing about rock climbing. We see about maybe twenty minutes of the actual climb and the film speeds up at times (through the "boring" parts, I guess). We see him successfully complete "The Boulder Problem" and all the other scary parts of the mountain. One of the cameramen at the bottom who had his camera on a tripod turns around for the majority of Honnold's climb (pretty much when he's high enough to kill himself if he falls). I can't blame the poor guy; I knew Honnold survived this climb while watching it and even I was getting super nervous! I can only imagine how nerve-wrecking it was to be there while it was happening live. He (the stressed-out cameraman) said he would never do anything like this ever again.

To everyone's great relief, Honnold makes it to the summit and that is when he calls his relieved girlfriend. We never see how he gets down, though. Did a helicopter take him back down? Did he take the steps in the back? Did the two cameramen who were up there have an extra set of ropes? I hope he didn't have to free solo down the mountain!

I hope he doesn't feel any pressure to have to climb a mountain that's taller and more terrifying than El Capitan; I think he should just retire. He already accomplished his dream and lived through it and he might not be so lucky the next time or the time after that. It's just not worth it to gamble with your life like that!

The Fresh Prince of Agrabah

Aladdin
Director: Guy Ritchie
Cast: Will Smith, Mena Massoud, Naomi Scott, Marwan Kenzari, Alan Tudyk
Released: May 24, 2019
Viewed in theaters: May 29, 2019

My review of the original movie.

I'll say the same thing about this movie that I said about the live-action Beauty and the Beast and that I'll inevitably say about the upcoming The Lion King: it wasn't as good as its animated counterpart. That said, even though I had my doubts, I did enjoy the movie (for the most part) and it did bring a sense of nostalgia for me. Now if I had watched this movie without ever watching the animated movie or even knowing about it (and I would have to been born yesterday for that to happen, but just go with me!), I would have found this movie to be very weird and probably wondering what the heck was going on. But since I have seen the animated movie, I understand what they were going for, but there are just many aspects of Aladdin that doesn't quite translate nicely to a live-action remake. (:::coughcoughTheGeniecoughcough:::) While the movie pretty much keeps to the same beats as the original, there were a few changes, so beware that there might be spoilers if you haven't seen this yet.

We'll first start with the Genie. Let's just get him out of the way, shall we? Will Smith had some big shoes to fill but I think it's a bit unfair to compare him to Robin Williams who made the Genie such an iconic character. There's no way anyone could have ever lived up to his performance. The character is still a wise-cracking, jubilant, fun-loving all-powerful being, but Will Smith brings a different vibe to him. I didn't have a problem with his performance; what I had a problem with was the look of the genie. When he was the blue CGI genie, it just looked so weird. It's one thing to animate the Genie and do a bunch of crazy things that you're provided with Williams' voiceovers, but when you bring the Genie to real life, yikes! Not pretty! The Genie does disguise himself as human when he's around other humans so we get a break from the CGI monstrosity for a few scenes. That said, the Jafar evil genie is much worse; probably because he's only in abut five minutes of the movie and they wanted to make sure the Will Smith genie looked better, which, it does, but not by much.

They throw in a new plot twist by giving the Genie a love interest. Yeah, it's a little weird that this all powerful being falls in love with a mere mortal. (Although (uh, spoiler warning if you've ever seen the original!) he does become freed of his genie duties, so does that mean he no longer has his genie powers and is now just a human?) When we first meet the Genie, he's on a boat in his human disguise and talking to his children and I thought that we were going to see the origin story of how this man became a genie, but then the movie starts and I start getting into it because they're singing the songs I know and, honestly, I just forgot about that scene. It isn't until the end of the movie when they return to that scene of him on the boat with his kids and wife that I realized that this scene takes place after all the events of the movie and he has married the woman he fell in love with and these are their children.

Aladdin (Mena Massoud) and Jasmine (Naomi Scott) get to wear more clothes in this version as Aladdin wears a shirt and Jasmine never bares her mid-drift. She also gets to wear more than one outfit (which seems more realistic!) and has some exquisite ensembles and even wears a beautiful dress in her signature turquoise shade during the "A Whole New World" scene. I love that they even styled her hair the same way as animated Jasmine in that scene (tied back with three different hair ties). While she has some gorgeous jewelry, I was a little disappointed she never wears those huge gold earrings her animated version sports.

Jasmine has much more of a bigger role than she did in the animated movie. We learn more about her backstory like why she isn't allowed to to leave the palace (because her mother was killed and her father fears for his daughter's safety). Her father (who comes off much more competent than his bumbling animated counterpart) and Jafar (Manwan Kenzari) want Jasmine to marry a prince because they need somebody to become Sultan (the idea for Jarfar to marry Jasmine so he can become Sultan doesn't come into fruition until the end of the movie), but Jasmine has other ideas and she wants to be Sultan. She doesn't understand why she has to marry an outsider who will lead a country that nobody knows better than she does and that she's been prepared for this her whole life.

When Aladdin and Jasmine meet, he thinks she's the handmaiden to the Princess and she goes along with it. When Aladdin sneaks into the palace to return a bracelet Abu had nabbed from her, he comes face to face with both Jasmine and Dalia, the real handmaiden to the Princess (and a character that isn't in the animated version). Jasmine has to get Dalia's attention to make sure she knows that she needs to pretend that she's the Princess. While it's a comical scene, I have a hard time believing Aladdin would believe the girl he met in the marketplace is only a handmaiden because she's wearing this gorgeous silk colorful dress (I can't remember what color is is in this scene..she has a turquoise dress, a pink dress, an orange dress, a purple dress, you get the idea!) and Dalia only wears simple gowns in muted colors. Plus there's her jewelry....I mean, c'mon, Aladdin... But he doesn't find out she's the Princess until the Genie transfers him into Prince Ali.

Abu, Raja, Iago, and the magic carpet are all in this movie but none are as fun or as lively animated as their '92 counterparts. Obviously they're all CGI. There were some cute moments with Abu, but then other times you could tell he was a CGI creature (especially in the eyes) and it just looked really creepy. I feel like this movie won't age very well in the future. The CGI just isn't the best. I was really disappointed with Iago. He's the character out of these sidekicks that lost a significant amount of screen time from the original. He's voiced by Alan Tudyk which I had no idea because he just sound like a generic parrot squawking. What make Iago so great in the original is that he was voiced by Gilbert Gottfried (brilliant casting because who would want a parrot that sounds like Gilbert Gottfried?) and while he does use a squawking parrot voice when he's around other people, when he's alone with Jafar he talks to him as he were a normal human and we see he's a lot smarter than he lets on and has a vast vocabulary. They seem to keep it a bit more realistic in this movie where the parrot, while sometimes says smart-aleck things, only talks in a few words and phrases and probably wouldn't be able to carry on a conversation with a human. Also, I never heard anyone refer him to as "Iago", although it's possible I just missed that, but I swear towards the end of the movie Jafar calls him simply, "Parrot". There are a lot of scenes from the original with him that were cut, but he does get a pretty big part (no pun intended!) during an action scene towards the end of the movie where he becomes a huge bird (helped by Jafar who has become a sorcerer with one of his genie wishes) and chases Aladdin and Jasmine, who are on the magic carpet, around Agrabah to seize the lamp.

We have the same songs as the original, plus a new song that Jasmine gets to belt out called "Speechless" that's very empowering, so it's nice she finally gets her own song. Too bad it's just kind of meh. I mean, I guess it's okay, but I feel like it's trying to be "Let It Go", but it's just not as good. Also, if you were to ask a young kid who didn't know all the original songs which one wasn't in the animated version, they would probably guess right. Some of the music arrangements were changed around a little bit, but it' still (pretty much) the same lyrics. I did notice that they changed some lyrics to "Arabian Nights"  which isn't the most culturally sensitive song and instead of using "barbaric" in the line, "It's barbaric, but hey, it's home!" they use "chaotic." There were probably other slight changes, but that was the only one I noticed. The end credits pull a Slumdog Millionaire where the cast is doing sone Bollywood (I didn't know Agrabah was in India!) dance to a remix version of "Friend Like Me" featuring DJ Khaled. Ugh, no thanks. I love "Summertime" and "Getting Jiggy With It" as much as the next person, and while Will Smith does a decent job with the genie songs, he just doesn't hold a candle to Robin Williams who sang those songs with a lot more energy (and a lot more different voices!) He doesn't even scat during "Friend Like Me", but he has more hip hop influences. I think he was slightly better singing "Prince Ali", but I think that might have been because he was in human form and I didn't have to look at that scary CGI genie. I was disappointed that they didn't have the "Don't they look lovely, June?" and "Fabulous, Harry, I love the feathers" lines, but  I did laugh when he sings, "He's got monkeys, a lot of monkeys" which is taken out of the original song. The new pop version of "A Whole New World" isn't as good as the '92 pop version, but I do think it is much better than the new pop version of "Beauty and the Beast." The songs from the '92 version are much superior than the newer versions and they will always be.

So there appears to be some new rules since the last movie with the wish-making. Remember in the animated movie when they're trapped in the Cave of Wonders and Aladdin tricks the Genie into getting them out of there without using one of his three wishes? In the remake, Aladdin says, "Genie, I wish for you to get us out of this cave" and I'm thinking, Oh, so they're counting this as one of the wishes. But, no. Apparently, when making a wish, the master of the Genie has to be rubbing the lamp. What kind of bs is that? Also, wouldn't an all-knowing genie KNOW when one isn't rubbing the lamp? Duh. I don't know, I thought that was really stupid. The wishes are all the same: Aladdin wishes to be a prince, the Genie saves him from drowning after Jafar captures him and tries to kill him, and of course, he sets the Genie free.

Speaking of Jafar, he's not as, ahem, animated as he is in the '92 movie. He doesn't come off as very menacing to me. He has this weird obsession with invading the country Jasmine's mother is from. I can't remember the name of it which is surprising because he must mention invading it at least 3,000 times. Sadly, this Jafar does not have his pun game on because that scene where he spits out pun after pun in the animated movie is not in this one. But I feel like this Jafar doesn't have any fun and thus his pun game isn't up to par. This Jafar also never calls Aladdin "Prince Abubu."

I admit I haven't seen many of Guy Ritchie's movies, none of them really appeal to me. I've only seen Sherlock Holmes. I heard he likes to use a lot of slow motion in his movies and live-action Aladdin was no exception. He especially likes to use it when characters are falling. We see it when Aladdin is falling towards the water when he's been tied to the chair by Jafar and when Abu falls off the magic carpet with the lamp.

One of my biggest complaints about this movie (besides the CGI) would have to be how dark it is during some pivotal scenes. It's very dark in the Cave of Wonders and it's very dark during the "A Whole New World" magic carpet ride scene. Yes, it is nighttime during these scenes in the animated movie too, but at least they can work with color and make it more vivid, not too mention you have more room with animation and this story just lends itself better to animation, especially with the Genie. There were quite a few young kids (twelve and younger) in my audience and I can only hope that their parents showed them the animated movie and that's why they were seeing it. Give me the animated movie, all day, every day.

 Haha, so when I was walking out of the theater there was a display for the new Chucky movie and this girl, probably eight or nine, tells her mom she wants to see that (WTF?) and her mom goes, "No, you are not seeing that! It's too creepy."

Want to know the most outrageous thing about my excursion to the movies? I paid $5.76 for a small drink! I had a free movie pass and a coupon for a free small popcorn, so at least that was all I spent, but still! That much for a small drink; can you believe that? I can get a large iced latte at Scooters for the exact same price! This is why I sneak my snacks into theaters!

Oh My Disney!

I took the Which Disney Princess Are You? quiz on Oh My Disney. Watch to find out which Disney Princess I'm most like and if I agree with the results: