The (one-hit) Wonders

That Thing You Do!

Director: Tom Hanks

Cast: Tom Everett Scott, Liv Tyler, Steve Zahn, Tom Hanks, Johnathan Schaech, Ethan Embry, Charlize Theron

Released: October 4, 1996

Oscar nominations:

Best Original Song - "That Thing You Do!" (lost to "You Must Love Me" from Evita)

You!

Doing that thing you do!

Breaking my heart into a million pieces

like you always do!

And you!

Don't mean to be cruel!

You never even knew about the heartache

I've been going through.

Well I'm trying and try to forget you girl!

But it's just so hard to do!

Everytime you do that thing you do!

It's probably been well over twenty years since I last saw this movie or heard the song, but I can still sing along to every word; it all just came flooding back to me. I'm pretty sure my family owned the soundtrack (don't quote me on that, but it wouldn't surprise me) and the song is played at least a million times during the movie, so it's no wonder (no pun intended) that I haven't missed a beat (again, no pun intended). Even though I don't remember hearing this song on the radio, it must have been played on popular radio stations because I read it was released as a single. 

It was robbed of an Oscar win for best song. "You Must Love Me" from Evita won instead. The other songs nominated were "Because You Loved Me" from Up Close and Personal; "I've Finally Found Someone" from The Mirror Has Two Faces; and "For the First Time" from One Fine Day. Now I think all those songs cancelled each other out because they were all from romantic or romantic-adjacent movies (two of which starred Michelle Pfeiffer!). So I wan't familiar with "For the First Time" so I went to listen to it. Kenny Loggins sings it and I immediately recognized it when it started playing it. I think it was on a compilation CD of movie songs I owned (back in the heyday when people used archaic artifacts like CDs -ask your ancestors, kids). Funnily enough, this CD also included "I've Finally Found Someone." I don't think of "Because You Love Me" being from a movie; I think of it as a single from Celine Dion's grammy-winning album, Falling Into You. I feel like "You Must Love Me" only won because Madonna sung it and was composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Now if "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" (which wasn't even nominated) had won, I would have been fine with that because that song slaps. "You Must Love Me" is a boring, insipid ballad. What I'm simply trying to say is that from the five nominated songs, "That Thing You Do!" should have won. 

I saw this movie in theaters with my dad. He was a teenager in the '60s, when this movie is set, and played in a band, so of course this movie was made for him. This movie is basically about a small town (Eerie, Pennsylvania) band who are discovered and soon become a national sensation with their hit song, the same as the title of the movie, That Thing You Do! 

Guy (Tom Everett Scott) is asked to fill in as the drummer of a band who his friends are in (I guess Guy isn't initially in the band because he works at his dad's appliance store, I'm not really sure) after the drummer, Chad (Giovanni Ribisi), breaks his arm right before they're supposed to play at the Mercyhurst College Talent Show. The other band members include lead singer, Jimmy (Jonathan Schaech); lead guitarist, Lenny (Steve Zahn); and the bass player (Ethan Embry). For some reason, he is credited as T.B. Player as in The Bass Player, so he wasn't given a name. I'll just refer to him as Ethan. 

This band must have just formed after Jimmy wrote a song called "That Thing You Do!" (you might be familiar with it) and wanted to perform it at the talent show. I say that because when Guy comes over to practice with them after he's replaced Chad their band still doesn't have a name. Jimmy has suggested The Heardsmen and The Chordvettes. As you can see, he likes being creative with how he spells the name. I'm sure there's a word for that, but I have no idea. When Guy asks if they're only playing the one song at the show and Jimmy confirms that, he replies, "Wonderful", emphasizing the "won" sound. Jimmy's girlfriend, Faye (Liv Tyler), is there and she lights up when she hears him say that and tells them they should call themselves The Wonders. Jimmy also likes this idea, probably because he can spell it in a creative (and let's be honest, really dumb) way. On a notepad he writes it as THE ONEDERS. Of course, the other band members thinks it reads as "Oh-nee-ders." They will later write it as One-ders, which is a little better, but why not just write it as 1-ders? Actually, scratch that. Now that I see it, it looks awful written that way. Later, they will spell it correctly, but personally, I think The Wonders is not the best name for a band. Why? Because of one-hit wonders. What if you only have one hit and you're called The Wonders? (And this is pretty much what happens to them.) That's just asking to be mocked. 

They're practicing "That Thing You Do" and it's a slower-paced song than what we will eventually know and love it as. 

At the talent show, Guy brings his girlfriend, Tina. She is played by....wait for it....Charlize Theron! This was one of her first movie roles and I did not remember she was in this at all. I probably didn't remember because she was in this before she was famous and she's not in it that much. She's not really impressed that Guy is playing in a talent show and doesn't seem to be into this whole thing at all. Charlize has bigger and better things ahead for her! 

When it's the One-Ders turn to perform, Guy starts playing the drums really fast and at first there's confusion because that's not how the song is supposed to go, but the rest of the band goes with it and this is probably the best decision Guy ever made because it's going to change all their lives. First of all, everyone loved the song and they won first place - a whopping $100 split four ways. I supposed back in 1964, that was a lot of money. Maybe? 

There's an applause-o-meter chart with different rankings that a girl uses her arm to point to a ranking after each performance depending on the audience's reaction. (Obviously a very scientific method. The rankings include: "You Stink", "Not Terrible", "Good", "Extra Good", "Super", and "Wicked.") Not surprisingly, they got the highest score. 

They later play at an Italian restaurant (of all the random places) and some guy asks them where he can get a record of their songs. This gives Guy the idea for them to do just that. He has a relative "in the record industry" who records church music and he could record their songs for them and sell them for a dollar a piece. They play their songs in a church while his uncle is using some very old-fashioned technology to record them. His uncle is played by Chris Issak of "Wicked Game" fame (you know, the song). 

A guy who introduces himself as Phil Horace comes down to the appliance store to talk to Guy about the band. He wants to take them to rock 'n' roll shows to play their music, specifically "That Thing You Do!" He tells them he can get that song on the radio and if the radio doesn't play the song within ten days he'll tear up the contract. 

We see a scene of Tina at the dentist. She's a first-time patient and is very attracted to her handsome dentist. Later, we will later find out she ends up with him. I'm not really sure what the point of having her in the movie was for; it's no wonder I don't remember Charlize Theron at all in this. I heard the director's cut is two and a half hours (way too long!) and I'm sure we get a lot more backstory with her character. 

The band members (and Faye) are wearing ear pieces, listening to the radio so they don't miss it should their song be played on the radio. Guy is working at the store and his dad yanks it out of his ear and tells him to go help the two women who are looking at stoves. Faye is mailing a letter when a song has just finished and the DJ announces the next song as being from "a local Eerie band" and that they just won the Mercyhurst Talent show. She starts screaming and shrieking and running down the street like a maniac, but her enthusiasm is infectious. She sees Ethan who is coming out of a store and they are shrieking in joy together. They run into the appliance store where Guy's telling the two women what colors the stoves come in and Faye tells him to turn on the radio, so he does. In fact, they go around the whole store turning on several radios. Now you can hear the music more clearly; before it sounded a little more muddled. Outside the window we see Lenny and Jimmy pull up and park right in the middle of the street and run in. Guy's dad and sister (who also works at the store) don't look very happy, but his mother, who is sitting in the back where she's doing some paperwork, is smiling and grooving to the music. This is the best scene in the movie; you can't help but smile when you watch it. It's gotta be pretty exciting when your song is played on the radio! 

Later that evening, Guy calls Tina to ask if she heard the song which played three times on the radio that day and she said she didn't and points out she's heard that song many times already. She doesn't seem to care that his band's song was on the radio. Not the most supportive girlfriend! 

Because of their radio success, they've been invited to play at the Orpheum in Pittsburg (the closest big city to them). This is a big deal for them, but unfortunately it turns out to be a disaster. Right before they're about to start, they notice the mikes not working (didn't someone do a sound check?), then when it's turned on, it gives that awful screeching sound and the entire audience are holding their hands to their ears. Once that's corrected, they start playing the song, but then one of Guy's cymbals fall and it's not a great performance. They're lucking that this was pre-Internet/social media or otherwise this would become viral!

The next day, Phil takes Guy to meet a man named Mr. White who is with Play-Tone records and was in town to catch the show. He is played by Tom Hanks and I didn't catch the characters' first name, but according to Wikipedia, it's Amos. He wants to release their record and add The One-ders to their record label. He's also the first person (outside the band and Faye) to get the pronunciation of the band correct and after he becomes their manager, his first order of business is to have them spell their name as The Wonders so there's no more confusion. Many of the label's bands and artists will be touring state fairs and he wants The Wonders to be one of those bands. 

Their record will be released nationally and they will be doing a lot of promoting of it, mostly on radio shows. Mr. White tells them they will be touring until Labor Day (I think it's the beginning of summer when they start), but Ethan tells them he joined the Marine Corps so he has to report to South Carolina at the end of August, but he can stay with the band until then. Maybe this is the reason Ethan Embry isn't given a name in this movie? But he's still in quite a bit of the movie. Mr. White decides the band needs a gimmick so he give Guy a pair of sunglasses to wear while he's performing and has given him the nickname "Shades". 

Their song ends up hitting #93 on the Billboard 100 charts. It was right below "Viva Las Vegas" by Elvis Presley. I paused the movie to look at the other songs, but I didn't recognize any of them. You're probably wondering if they perform any other songs besides "That Thing You Do!", and yes, yes, they do, but honestly, I don't even remember how they go. I think we hear two other songs. 

After getting a montage of them touring many of the fly-over states, Mr. White tells them that there's been a change of plans and they'll next be flying to Los Angeles because their song has become "the fastest-rising single in the history of the Play-tone label." Not only that, but they also have the number 7 record in the country. Not bad for an amateur band! 

As they're leaving to get into the car to take them to the airport (they're currently in Wisconsin), they are attacked by a mob of screaming girls. One of them even jumps on the car. Honestly, it's so embarrassing and we've seen this from the Beatles to One Direction. (Okay, I know One Direction is old news by this point, but I can't think of anything more current.) On the plane, Mr. White tells them he can get them to appear in a motion picture and The Hollywood Television Showcase. Jimmy is the only one who doesn't seem to care about any of that. He just wants to get into the studio to make some music.

The movie they have a cameo in is some lame film called Weekend at Party Pier and they're wearing sailor outfits, playing their instruments outside of a shrimp shack. The main actors, playing characters named Rick, Anita, and Goofball (what is this? The Archies?) are dancing in front and when they have lines, the music stops, but everyone keeps dancing or pretending to play their instruments as though they're still hearing it. There is no way this is being released in theaters; this has to be a TV movie. I would say it's going to straight to video, but I don't think video rentals were a thing back then (just like they're no longer a thing now, heh). Jimmy thinks what they're doing is pretty lame and I have to agree with him. 

Guy gets the chance to meet his hero, a jazz player named Del Paxton when he goes to a jazz bar and is introduced to him by the cocktail waitress (played by Rita Wilson). The old man gives the young musician some sage advice: since bands come and go, he's "got to keep on paying, no matter with who." You could also call this foreshadowing. (Because The Wonders won't last, spoiler alert!)

When they're about to be on the Hollywood Television Showcase, everyone is there except the unnamed bass player. Nobody knows where he is, so Mr. White just brings in a new member named Scott Pell who goes by the nickname Wolfman. I guess since he knew they would be losing their bass player anyway, he had somebody waiting in the wings. It's funny that this guy gets a name and nickname and poor Ethan Embry's character didn't get either! By the way, he was at Disneyland. I guess he didn't take this band that seriously! 

We see some acts/interviews before them and one is astronaut Gus Grissom and he is played by Bryan Cranston and as someone whose favorite show is Breaking Bad, this was very amusing to see. So I did a quick deep dive on him (Gus Grissom; not Bryan Cranston): he was a pilot in the United States Air Force and was selected by NASA for Project Mercury, which trained and launched astronauts into outer space. (Yes, I got this from Wikipedia.) The movie The Right Stuff is all about Project Mercury and Fred Ward played him in the movie. Sadly, Grissom died long before the movie was released in 1983. I noticed on his Wikipedia page that he died at the age of 40 in 1967 in Cape Canaveral and right away I knew he died of something going wrong on a launch. And, yes, during a pre-launch test, the command module interior caught fire and Grissom and two other astronauts were killed. Anyway, back to something a little more light-hearted...(or maybe not, but at least nobody dies in a horrific way in this movie...)

While they play their hit song, we see the camera zoom in individually on all the band members with their names on the bottom of the screen. When they get to Jimmy, there's added text that says, "Careful girls, he's engaged." I mean, c'mon, why do they need to add that? It's not like these girls would have a chance with him anyway! Jimmy sees this on the monitor and he's not singing enthusiastically as he once was.
He's not very thrilled by this. 

We get a funny moment where Guy's family and Chad (the original drummer that Guy replaced) are watching the show on the TV and his mom yells, "Quiet down, I'm trying to hear it!" even though nobody is talking. 

Afterward, in the dressing room, Jimmy yells at Faye, asking her where she got the idea they were engaged and that's "the last thing [he] needs." But it wasn't Faye who told the producers to write that on the screen (I don't think she would even have the authority); it was Mr. White. Oh, and if you're wondering why Faye has been following them around the country even though she's not in the band, there's really no good reason aside from the fact that she's Jimmy's muse. A sad-looking Faye addressed Jimmy in front of everyone and tells him she's breaking up with him and "I have wasted thousands and thousands of kisses on you...shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight." In my mind, I can see Peter Jackson watching this movie and when he sees Liv Tyler looking so sad he knew right away he had found his perfect Arwen! And also because Liv Tyler is so, so pretty and would make the perfect elfin princess. 

The band ends up breaking up because Jimmy wants to record his own music, Leo has gotten married (and soon divorced) and Guy ends up with Faye. Throughout the movie we see little snippets that he likes her, so it's not a big surprise that they end up together. 

It's the End of the World As We Know It

Armageddon

Director: Michael Bay

Cast: Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, Billy Bob Thornton, Steve Buscemi, Jason Isaacs, Michael Clarke Duncan, Owen Wilson

Released: July 1, 1998

Oscar nominations:

Best Sound (lost to Saving Private Ryan)

Best Sound Effects Editing (lost to Saving Private Ryan)

Best Visual Effects (lost to What Dreams May Come)

Best Song - Dianne Warren for "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" (lost to Stephen Schwartz for "When You Believe" from The Prince of Egypt)

Deep Impact

Director: Mimi Leder

Cast: Tea Leoni, Morgan Freeman, Robert Duvall, Elijah Wood, Leelee Sobieski, Vanessa Redgrave, James Cromwell, Maximilian Schell

Released: May 8, 1998

Spoilers, obviously!

Remember in 1998 when two movies about asteroids hurtling towards Earth to destroy all mankind were released within months of each other? Those movies were Armageddon and Deep Impact and I'm going to review them both because it just makes sense to do them at the same time! I'm not going to make you wait with bated breath and I'll just come out and say it now: I don't really care for either one. If I had to recommend one, I'd probably say Deep Impact, but ONLY because it's half an hour shorter (but still long....Armageddon is TWO AND A HALF HOURS LONG (but yet feels longer!)) and at least I didn't get sick watching Deep Impact as the cuts in Armageddon only last about a second. In fact, I read the IMDb trivia for that movie and they said the average cut lasted about 1.5 seconds! It was like, Cut to Bruce Willis! Now to Ben Affleck! Now to Liv Tyler! Now back to Willis! Oh, we need to see Tyler again! Oh, wait, don't forget Affleck! This was pretty much the entire movie (with the other actors throw in, too of course). I felt like this movie was made by someone with ADD! However, I would recommend this one over Deep Impact if someone was looking for something to watch with friends and just get drunk and made fun of something because this movie is absolutely ridiculous (another piece of trivia I learned via IMDb is that (and I hope this is true!) NASA shows this movie as part of their management training program and asks new managers to spot as many mistakes as they can and the most number spotted has been 168!) and has more funnier moments than Deep Impact (mostly unintentionally!), which is the more serious film. While I immensely disliked Armageddon, I don't think it's Michael Bay's worst movie, which is saying something! That's when you know I really hate other movies of his! 

The premise of Armageddon is that an asteroid, the size of Texas, is hurtling towards Earth and there is only eighteen days to stop it. (There's even an ominous countdown clock!) If it hits, all life on Earth, as we know it, will be wiped out. There's only one man for the job and his name is Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis). Is Harry the best NASA has ever seen? No, because his field of expertise isn't even in astronomy. He's an oil driller. Yep. You heard me. But he's just not any oil driller, he's the BEST deep-sea oil driller in the world! Six billion people on the planet and he was the one they called. NASA scientist Dan Truman (Billy Bob Thornton) wants to split the asteroid in two (so then we'll have two asteroids the size of Colorado?) and divert them away from Earth.

"Mr. Wizard". Heh!

Truman introduces Stamper to his team of eight astronauts who have been learning to drill for the past eight months in preparation for the mission. Stamper is not impressed with them or the "piss poor" production of his rig they put together. Jason Isaacs plays another NASA scientist who helped put the rig together and Stamper calls him "Mr. Wizard". Um, hello! He is a wizard! He's purebred wizard, Lucius Malfoy! That made me LOL when he said that. Stamper claims he's the best driller in the world (just because you say it over and over doesn't mean it's true!) because he WORKS with the best and he wants his own men up there with him. Haha, I read on the IMDb trivia that Ben Affleck told Michael Bay, "Wouldn't it be easier for NASA to train astronauts to drill rather than training drillers to be astronauts?" and Bay told him to shut up. But he's right! It makes so much more sense that way! If this is true (and I'm sure it is), I bet Bay put in that line where Stamper asks Truman, "All they gotta do is drill? No spacewalking? No crazy astronaut stuff?" after he had that conversation with Affleck just so the audience wouldn't be thinking the same thing he did cuz he knew they would!

So Stamper rounds up his rag tag team of oil drillers. Even though they're the best team of oil drillers a man could have, they're all pretty much a bunch of imbeciles and dopes. I honestly don't remember any of the characters' name and even when I looked them up online, they still didn't register with me, so I'll just call them by their actors' names. Steve Buscemi plays a horny guy; Michael Clark Duncan's character is a big, burly guy who looks intimidating, but deep down, he's really sensitive and just a big teddy bear; Owen Wilson plays a dim-witted rancher who's also a geologist. Will Patton plays a gambler who lost his wife (or girlfriend?) because of that and never got to have a relationship with his son. (Spoiler alert: he will at the end of the movie). And there's other characters played by not as famous people.

Also on Harry's team is AJ (Ben Affleck) who happens to be dating Harry's daughter, Grace (Liv Tyler) and this does not please Harry. Harry raised his daughter her whole life and she grew up on the oil rig with him and the other men that work for him. She calls her father by his first name and it's so blatant how they shove it down your throat because, literally, in every line Grace speaks to her father, she ends it with his name. Such as, "I've been seeing AJ for five months, HARRY." Or "What about having a life, HARRY." Or "Who is the hypocrite here, HARRY?" Or "You listen to me, HARRY!" It's like, we get it, Michael Bay, she doesn't call her father "Dad" and they don't have a close relationship. Her mother left when she was really young and she was raised by a bunch of "roughnecks". A couple of the guys even tell Harry, THEIR BOSS, about what a "hottie" and a "babe" Grace has grown into. Really, what kind of moron would you have to be to speak that way about your boss's daughter? So stupid. And what makes it even grosser is that the comment is made that they all helped raise her, so they're all, in a way, father figures to Grace. So, eww. (To be fair, it was only Buscemi, Wilson, and the fat guy commenting on how hot she is, but still...)

This movie has probably what is the worst scene ever in the history of cinema. It is so bad and cringe- worthy. If you've seen this movie, you know what I'm talking about, don't you. I just have two words for you: Animal. Crackers. OMG, that scene is SOOOOOOOO bad! SO, SO, SO BAD! As if that scene isn't bad enough, Grace then asks AJ, "Do you think it's possible somebody else is doing the same exact thing somewhere else right now?" No, Liv Tyler, I really doubt nobody else is playing with animal crackers on their significant other's body right now! Aurgh, that scene is so stupid!!

The men agree to destroy the asteroid because they can't say no to their boss who tells them they can't refuse the U.S. Government in asking for their help to save the planet. There is an amusing scene where Stamper reads a list of requests from his employees to Truman about what they want if they complete and accomplish their mission. This includes having speeding tickets wiped from their record, being able to stay at the White House, and never having to paying taxes again. I mean, who can blame them? If you were tasked with having to save the world, you would want something out of it too! I would certainly be expected to be owed big time!

They have about fifteen days to train to go into space. William Fichtner plays one of the people who is in charge of training them and when we get a shot of the crew walking in slow motion, he exclaims, "Talk about the wrong stuff!" which made me groan. This includes getting physical exams, getting psych evaluations, flying in fighter jets to get used to traveling at fast speeds, training to know what it's like to be in space. They keep the fact that a huge asteroid is about to strike Earth a secret because they don't want mass hysteria and panic to ensue, which I understand. But about six days before the mission, a chunk of the asteroid hits East Asia and kills 50,000 people in Shanghai with a huge tidal wave. Then Paris gets hits soon after and now the entire world knows what's going on and about the mission. There is an unsettling scene at the beginning of the movie when New York is hit and you see one of the World Trade Center buildings with a gaping hole through it...a little too real to life.

The men go up in space and there's lots of action and quick jump cuts. A few of them die. But then we get to the point where one of them has to sacrifice themselves and AJ draws the short end of the stick for that (literally). However, Harry tricks him and takes his place, telling him to take care of his daughter. By this time he has approved of Grace and AJ being together. This makes AJ upset. I can understand he doesn't want Harry sacrificing his life because he is his fiancee's father (oh, did I mention AJ asked Grace to marry him and she said yes?), but did he really want to sacrifice his own life when he had a fiancee waiting for him? Dumbass. And let's be honest, Grace would much rather have him come back than her father. Okay, maybe that's a little cold-hearted to say. There was a scene that got me a little teary-eyed when Harry is saying goodbye to his daughter who can see and talk to him via a screen at NASA headquarters.

Harry sacrifices himself to save humanity, so he really should have a planet named after him. In fact, they should have just renamed Earth "Stamper". I mean, the dude scarified himself to save not only the entire human race, but the entire ecosystem on earth. If anyone should not have to pay taxes for the rest of their lives, it's Grace...and AJ since he is getting married to her. The movie ends with their wedding. Cue the Aerosmith song...you know the one!

Armageddon was the bigger success at the box office between the two movies which isn't a surprise because it did have the bigger stars and had more of a budget so it was more glossier. The first hour of Deep Impact is really boring, but the second hour gets more interesting with its premise, although I don't think they executed it as well as they could have. I think Deep Impact would have been better as a mini series than a two hour movie. With this movie, you're getting four different perspectives from four different characters. The character we get the most focus on is an MSNBC journalist Jenny Lerner (Tea Leoni - yes, I know there's an accent over the "e" and her name is "Tay-a" and not "tea", but I don't know how to add on the accent!) This is a woman in her mid-30s who is acting like a petulant child because her parents (Vanessa Redgrave and Maximilian Schell) are divorced. To make matters worse, her father is getting married to a woman only two years older than Jenny herself. Jenny is investigating what she thinks is an affair the Secretary of Treasury (James Cromwell) is having with a woman when he suddenly resigns. But after doing some research, she realizes she mistook what she heard as a woman's name, "Ellie" for "E.L.E." which stands for "Extinction Level Event." Morgan Freeman plays the President and he is way more presidential than the President in Armageddon. After Jenny finds out there's an asteroid (and this one is only the size of NYC, so it has nothing on the Armageddon asteroid! Cuz Bay does it bigger and better!), the President tells the American public that it is projected to hit the earth within a year and that he has assembled a team of astronauts (this time the are fully prepared astronauts and not just oil drillers!) to stop the comet. Even though it is significantly smaller than the asteroid in Armageddon, it is still big enough to cause extinction. For the past eight months, the United States and Russia have been building the largest spaceship ever constructed. It's called the Messiah and is being built in orbit around the Earth. Robert Duvall plays the veteran astronaut in charge of the crew, Captain Tanner. His crew also includes Jon Favreau and Blair Underwood. This movie has a lot of "Hey, it's that guy!" moments. (Or, "Hey, it's that woman!") Other people of note in this movie are Kurtwood Smith (the dad from That '70s Show), Laura Innes (Dr. Weaver from ER), Dougray Scott, Mike O'Malley (Kurt's dad from Glee), and Richard Schiff (Toby Ziegler from The West Wing).

Also in this movie are Elijah Wood and Leelee Sobieski who play a high school couple named Leo and Sarah. Their story never links with any of the other characters in this movie which is really weird because you would think all the stories would link together. I know Jenny and the President meet and Captain Tanner and the President meet, but I can't remember if Jenny and Tanner are ever in a scene together. But the high schoolers and their families are never in any scenes with the other main characters of the movie. So their role is that they discovered the asteroid. This happens two years before it actually hits. They're with their astronomy professor and he is looking up something on his computer and discovers the asteroid, but as he's going to tell someone, he gets hit by a truck and his car explodes in a fiery ball. We then get text on the screen that reads "One year later".  I guess even though he died, the U.S. government knew about it since they were already preparing for the mission to divert the comet. Since Leo and his teacher discovered it, they name the asteroid after them. Like would you really want a killing machine named after you? While watching this, I couldn't help noticing that Elijah Wood will play the exact same character again later in the same year in The Faculty. He discovers the asteroid (well, with help) in this movie and he's the one to discover the aliens in that movie and both are from outer space and he gets on the cover of a news magazine in both films. The only difference is he's the main character in that movie and he's more ancillary in this.

Okay, let's get to the part when it starts to get interesting. The first hour is just setting everything up and meeting the characters, and, like I said, it's boring. But I started to pay more attention again when President Morgan Freeman came on TV and announced that while they were able to detonate the asteroid with the Messiah, it did not succeed in destroying it and instead it has broken into two pieces: one is six miles wide, and the other about a mile and both are still heading towards Earth. He tells the American audience that while they've been "hoping and working for the best", they've also been "preparing for the worst." Working with the Russians, they have another plan to divert the two large comets away from Earth. However, their plan can only happen when they are only hours from striking the planet. But in case that fails too and the asteroids do hit, he tells his audience that they have been preparing in case they need to repopulate the Earth again and that an underground bunker has been being built in the limestone caves of Missouri. There is a network of caves that will allow one million people to live there for two years (the time it will take for the sky to clear of dust). Not only will there be people, but also seeds, plants and animals, "enough to start over". A computer will randomly select 800,000 Americans to join the 200,000 scientists, doctors, engineers, teachers, soldiers, artists that have already been selected. (I guess they already had their ow lottery - but, wait! What if you were a doctor and weren't one of the 200,000 selected, but would you be able to go if you were one of the 800,000 "normal" people selected? Do the non-selected scientists, doctors, engineers, teachers, soldiers, and artists get a second chance when they draw for the general public or was that their only chance? I'm so confused!) Basically what President Morgan Freeman is telling the American audience is, "Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'!" I guess if you were getting this bad news delivered to you, you'd want it to be from the soothing voice of Morgan Freeman.

Jenny delivers the details of the lottery on the news. The biggest kicker is that nobody over the age of 50 will be selected (the exception being if they are one of the 200,000 pre-selected who have knowledge in a certain field). While she says this, they show her mother watching the news and I felt so bad for her. (She later kills herself, good job stupid lottery people who make these stupid rules). I can understand if they wouldn't allow anyone over 80, even over 70, but I still feel like people in their 50s and 60s are not THAT old. And if there's going to be an age limit, why stop at 50? You only have 800,000 spots for the entire country which was what back in '98? 250 million people? Why have anyone over the age of 30? Why don't they just have the age range be 12-30? That way you don't have to worry about baby-sitting annoying little kids and people are still young enough they can repopulate the world. Seriously, if they're not going to let people over 50, they might as well do it that way! Maybe I'm over thinking this way too much. I think this whole concept is a great social experiment, but they don't really delve into it that much. Like I said, this movie would have been better served as a mini series.

A few special snowflakes have been pre-selected. This includes Jenny because she's an MSNBC reporter? And Leo and his family because he discovered the comet that's going to kill everyone. Sarah's family, however, is not selected (awkward!) So even though they're only 17, Leo decides he's going to marry her and basically green card her so she can get in the shelter. (They missed a golden opportunity not casting a Hispanic actress!) Sarah agrees to do it if it also means her parents and baby brother get space in the caves too. They seem to get the ok, however on the day when they are picked up by the military who is driving them to the caves, Sarah's parents and brother are denied access and she refuses to leave them, which I don't blame her. They're from Richmond, Virginia, and when Leo and his family get to the bunker caves in Missouri, Leo decides he needs to go all the way back to Richmond to get Sarah. Virginia and Missouri are not that close! Why didn't he think of this sooner? His parents (his dad is played by Schiff) are reluctant about him going back, for, like, half a second, then they're like, "Yeah, you better go and get her."

Oh, yeah, they're also letting two of each animal into the bunkers ala Noah's Ark and we see people with their young children who didn't get in, protesting. I love animals, but it is ridiculous they're giving up space that could have been used to save PEOPLE'S LIVES for baby elephants and giraffes (no matter how cute they are).

So the asteroid is getting closer and closer. Jenny gives her spot of safety up to Dr. Weaver and her young daughter. She goes to make amends with her father because they had a huge fight and they embrace as a huge tidal wave comes for them. The crew on the space shuttle sacrifice themselves to destroy the other comet. Leo gets Sarah and her parents tell her to go with him and take the baby.  I don't understand how all these people outran a tsunami...., but they just climb up a mountain and they're fine.

President Morgan Freeman is also alive and tells everyone that pretty much the entire U.S. from the East Coast to Ohio and Tennessee has been wiped out, but that they will prevail as a nation. I remember watching this movie when it first came out and thinking, "Oh, good I would have survived because that terrifying 1,000 foot wave wouldn't have reached me!"

Okay, that's it for now. I'm a gettin' the hell outta here!  

My preciouuuussssss!

Ahoy there! I know it's been awhile since I posted an actual review. Admittedly, it's been because I've been a bit lazy, but also because I've been busy and distracted with something called life. And because in my downtime I haven't been watching many movies, but rather catching up on TV and reading what has to be the worst book ever published in the history of the world, Breaking Dawn, the final (thank god!) book in the Twilight series. 

So what better to come back with a triumphant return with not only one, but THREE movies (although you could argue they're just one really long movie put together). Not only are these movies very popular but the ten year anniversary of the first movie is coming up. I'm talking, of course, about The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Director: Peter Jackson
Cast: Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Sean Astin, Viggo Mortensen, Orlando Bloom, Liv Tyler, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, Sean Bean, Cate Blanchett, Christopher Lee, John Rhys-Davies, Hugo Weaving, Ian Holm
Released: December 19, 2001
Viewed in theaters: February 2, 2002

Oscar nominations:
Best Picture (lost to A Beautiful Mind)
Best Director - Peter Jackson (lost to Ron Howard for A Beautiful Mind)
Best Supporting Actor - Ian McKellen (lost to Jim Broadbent for Iris)
Best Adapted Screenplay - Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh, and Philippa Boyens (lost to Akiva Goldsman for  A Beautiful Mind)
Best Cinematography (won)
Best Art Direction (lost to Moulin Rouge!)
Best Costume Design (lost to Moulin Rouge!)
Best Sound (lost to Black Hawk Down)
Best Film Editing (lost to Black Hawk Down)
Best Visual Effects (won)
Best Makeup (won)
Best Song - "May It Be" by Enya (lost to "If I Didn't Have You" by Randy Newman for Monsters, Inc.)
Best Original Score - Howard Shore (won)

I haven't watched The Lord of the Rings trilogy since early 2007 and with the upcoming 10th anniversary of the first movie coming up, I thought what better time to watch them again. It's almost funny that I'm a fan of LotR (well, the movies anyway), because I almost never saw the first movie. I remembered way back in the summer of 2001 when I knew there would be two movies coming out later that year based on very popular book series that I had not yet read. One, as you may have already guessed, was Harry Potter, and the other, of course was LotR. Because I wanted to be with the times, I bought both first books of those series, so when I saw the movies I would know what was going on. Reading Sorcerer's Stone was no problem. I read it in a day and soon devoured the following three books. However, Fellowship of the Ring was a different story as I just could not get into it. The writing was too heavy and tedious for me and there were so many characters to keep track of and this whole Middle Earth place was so confusing to me. So I flung the book aside and never picked it back up...for awhile, anyway. December came and I didn't see the movie. Towards the end of January I was becoming more curious, hearing everyone talking about it and all, but didn't think I would understand it, not having read the book, not to mention I wasn't sure I could sit though a three hour movie that I might find dull. My brother, a Tolkien geek, assured me that I didn't need to read the book to understand what was going on, so finally, on 2/2/02 I decided to see it. I was living in a small town at the time which only had one old movie theater with two screens and the seats weren't very comfortable, so I knew I would be in for a long, painful and excruciating experience if I didn't like it. I was really expecting to hate this movie and usually this IS the kind of movie I hate; however, it turned out I loved it and was dying to see the second one as soon as it ended! (And, hey, I only had to wait ten months while everyone else had to wait a whole year!) And I finally picked up the book and read it and actually understood what was going on having seen the movie.

The first movie obviously sets up the story and introduces us to the nine members of the Fellowship as well as some other characters. For me, the movie doesn't really start until Frodo and Sam embark upon their journey and after the Fellowship is introduced, then that's when it starts to get really exciting. Even if you have never seen the movie (gasp!), everyone knows the plot. Basically Frodo is in possession of an evil ring and has to travel to Mordor to get rid of it and there are A LOT of obstacles along the way.

I have to give Peter Jackson and all the other people who worked on these films a lot of credit. Think about all the costumes, makeup, set designs, set locations, music, visual and special effects they had to work on! And let's not forget the daunting task of adapting all three of the books into screenplays! Ten years later and the effects still hold up pretty well although some of the computer graphics are a bit obvious. But just watching the movie makes me exhausted thinking of all the long hours and hard work that was put into it.

Just one small nitpick: at the beginning of the movie we learn the date is September 2, 1400 (Bilbo Baggin's 111th birthday!) I really never paid attention to this before, but this time while watching, I thought it was odd when Frodo and Sam are sleeping on the ground and Sam is complaining about how uncomfortable he is and Frodo tells him to imagine he's sleeping on a soft mattress. Uh...did they even have mattresses (did the word even exist?) back then? I mean, I'm no history expert, but I always thought the mattress was more of a modern invention.

He's so pretty - it isn' fair!

With so many characters, it's hard to choose just one favorite. I love the humor and mischievousness from Merry and Pippin and how they're always hungry. "What about second breakfast?" I've seen FotR probably about five times now and I ALWAYS laugh after Merry and Pippin announce they're going to join Frodo on his quest and Pippin asks, "Where are we going?" Gandalf is awesome (as is his cane which I've dubbed the Staff of Awesomeness) and he has Shadowfax, the most beautiful horse in the world, and the best lines. ("Keep it secret, keep it safe!"; "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"; "Fly, you fools!"; "Fool of a Took!")  The elves were my favorite among the different races of Middle Earth. Arwen is so gorgeous with her dark hair and alabaster skin. She even CRIES beautifully and gracefully. Liv Tyler sounds so different in this movie than how she normally does. And great casting there. She is so amazingly stunning; she really does kind of have these elfish qualities. And Legolas!  He's just so damn pretty! Look at that face! That hair! Those ears! Whenever he's on screen, I'm like, "Ooh...pretty...pretty...so, so pretty!" I'm just so mesmerized by him. Not only is he pretty but he has amazing archery skills and is quite agile.

As much as I love those characters, I have to say my two favorites are Sam and Aragorn. Sam is such a sweet hobbit! There were several times during the trilogy when I wanted to give him a big hug and a big bowl of stew. I think Sam was a little gay, I mean, c'mon, it was so obvious he was in love with Frodo! I always think of that joke on The O.C. when Summer asks Marissa, "Remember that movie the guys showed us? About the gay guys on the mountain?" and Marissa immediately responds matter-of-factly, "The Lord of the Rings." Oh, that was great. That will never not be funny. But in all seriousness, Sam was the heart of the movie and he was the one who stuck with Frodo through thick and thin even when Frodo was being a jerk and needed to be slapped over the head with a frying pan. (I know, I know, it was the damn ring...) Then there's Aragorn who is so smoldering that I nicknamed him HRH (His Royal Hotness). Haha, I remember when my theater had this huge poster of him hanging up and I'd just stare at it. Best poster EVER in the history of cinema! It's no wonder both Arwen and Eowyn (and I think Legolas just a tad!) were in love with him. He looks damn good for 87! But just the way he looks isn't the only reason why I love him (well, it's a big reason, though!), but he's definitely an important part of the trilogy and he has mad sword skills.

Top row: Aragorn, Gandalf, Legolas, Boromir
Bottom row: Sam, Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Gimli

My favorite scene is when the nine members of the Fellowship are crossing the Bridge of Khazad Dum (had to look that up; I'm not that much of a geek!). I always tense up when they're running across the narrow path over the deep chasm and come across the gap in the steep steps and have to jump even though I know they're going to be okay...well, most of them. There's some nice foreshadowing when Gimli warns the others that he doesn't need any help and how, "Nobody tosses a dwarf!"

Part one ends with Gandalf falling to his assumed death, Boromir getting killed, Merry and Pippin being taken by the orcs, Sam following Frodo to join him on his continued quest to Mordor to destroy the ring, and Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli off to save their little friends. To be continued...

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Director: Peter Jackson
Cast: Same people from the first movie, Miranda Otto, Bernard Hill, David Wenham, Brad Dourif, Andy Serkis, Karl Urban
Released: December 18, 2002
Viewed in theaters: December 25, 2002

Oscar nominations:
Best Picture (lost to Chicago)
Best Art Direction (lost to Chicago)
Best Sound (lost to Chicago)
Best Film Editing (lost to Chicago)
Best Sound Editing (won)
Best Visual Effects (won)

The Two Towers is my favorite movie in the trilogy. I may or may not have seen it more than once (um, or twice ::::coughcoughorthreetimescoughcough::::) in the theaters in two weeks. I like this one the best for several reasons: we are introduced to new and intriguing characters such as Eowyn, King Theoden, Faramir, Wormtongue, Treebeard, and, of course, Gollum/Smeagol. I hadn't quoted a character as much as Gollum since 2000 when I went around shouting "TIMMY!" all the time. I like how the movie is divided into three different stories so the pacing is a little quicker and you get a change of scenery with each storyline. Here's a fun fact if you've never read the book: Tolkien divides the book into three sections and you read about Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli first, then you read about Merry and Pippin meeting Treebeard, then you read about Sam and Frodo meeting Gollum. That might not be the right order because I don't have the book on hand, but the point I'm trying to make is that Tolkien didn't intersect the different storylines. Peter Jackson was smart to do that!

This one is also my favorite because the Battle of Helms Deep was my favorite scene in any of the movies (and this is coming from someone who usually hates battle scenes in movies, but this one was pretty cool and epic). I love the friendly rivalry between Legolas and Gimli when they're counting how many orcs they've killed and the callback to the first movie when Gimli allows Aragorn to toss him onto the bridge and tells him, "Don't tell the elf!" This film also features three of my favorite (albeit very short) clips. One is the scene where Aragorn is opening those huge double doors in slow motion when he has returned to Helms Deep. Let's not kid ourselves: that was pretty hot. I have not yet met another female who doesn't love that scene. Whoever edited that in slow motion is a genius. And the other two are Legolas scenes, you probably already know which ones I'm talking about: When he slides down the steps on his shield during the battle and the one-handed vault onto his horse. Let's not kid ourselves: that was pretty freaking awesome! Haha, I remember when I saw it in the theaters and there was this guy sitting in the same row as me and he went, "WOW!" Wow, indeed, buddy, wow, indeed.
  
Right after the movie's release, I conducted a "scientific poll" on a message board I frequented back in the day. It was titled "Who's Hotter: Aragorn or Legolas?" Legolas won. Damn teeny-boppers ;-) I remember this one girl said she debated for two hours trying to decide who indeed was the hotter one and finally settled with Aragorn.  Haha, I love it. Here are some of the other answers people wrote down: (I voted for Aragorn, btw). 

LEGOLAS!!!!!!!! ooooohhh could eat him up he's so pretty. I don't really go for the always dirty, can't make up his mind about which freaking woman to marry sort of guy.

Oh, don't make me choose! :-\
Um... hm... uh... *whimpers* I...can't...decide!
Aragorn's smoldering and HOTT.
Legolas is sexy in this poetic, beautiful way.
Oh jeeze. *bites lip*
I'm gonna go with...
Legolas.
I like his ears and he has pretty hair. 

I'd say Aragorn has it going for him.

Legolas. I am a boy.  Is my vote counted? 

Legolas is pretty like a wintergreen mint but Aragorn is a cinnamint! I choose Aragorn! (but I also like Legolas!) ARAGORN!!!

LEGOLAS!!!! HIS HAIR IS SO......SO.....PRETTY!!

ARAGORN HANDS DOWN! OF COURSE HE'S THE HOTTER ONE!

LEGOLAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he's my husband, he just doesn't know it yet, lol.

Obviously Legolas won the poll, but clearly Aragorn is the real winner as he had two ladies (and I still maintain Legolas was in love with him too!) after him. There's a lot of Aragorn/Legolas fanvids on YouTube and this one has to be my favorite:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd71dfxnjE4

Leggy consoles Aragorn.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the creepy Gollum/Smeagol conversation. It was disturbing, funny, and heartbreaking all at the same time. Gollum was a revolutionary character; you really had seen nothing like him on the screen before. I also loved Sam's speech at the end - so sweet. Almost reminded me of another speech Sean Astin gives during one of his movies. "Down here it's our time! It's our time down here!" If you weren't a child of the '80s, I'm talking about The Goonies.  

Part two ends with Gollum leading Frodo and Sam onward towards Mordor with malicious intentions. To be continued...

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
Director: Peter Jackson
Cast: Same people from the first two movies, John Noble
Released: December 17, 2003
Viewed in theaters: December 25, 2003

Oscar nominations:
Best Picture (won)
Best Director - Peter Jackson (won)
Best Adapted Screenplay - Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens (won)
Best Art Direction (won)
Best Costume  Design (won)
Best Film Editing (won)
Best Score - Howard Shore (won)
Best Song - "Into the West" by Annie Lennox (won)
Best Makeup (won)
Best Sound Mixing (won)
Best Visual Effects (won)
(Yes, it won EVERYTHING!) 

Let me tell you a true (and stupid) story: right after The Two Towers had just been released, I was all giddy and excited for Return of the King, so myself and another online friend who also frequented the same message board as me decided we would do a countdown to RotK....starting in January 2003. I've found the original message, which you'll notice was written on January 9, 2003!  



Countdown to ROTK
Author: *********
Date: 01-09-03 13:48

LOL, this will be the first of MANY MANY posts to come. Sara and I will take the time each day to post how many more days until December 17, or when ROTK comes out! To me, this is very good time to pass the many days of waiting! And so, the first official "Countdown to ROTK" post -

342 days to go! *throws confetti*

Welcome all, to the longest year ever!

When we got to 299 we were excited we finally reached the 200s. I think we quit after four months! 

I once wrote a post about how Return of the King was one of my most memorable movie experiences. If you haven't read it, you can find it here at #9.

I still think this movie has way too many endings and I think it should have ended after Frodo does the voiceover of how they returned home after being away for 13 months. There. The end. We don't need the other ten millions endings you tacked on, Peter Jackson! I do love the credits and how instead of getting a black screen like the previous two movies it's a white background and you see sketches of the actors as the characters they played when they show their names. It's a very cool curtain call. It also helps that "Into the West" is my favorite song of the three original songs. I don't know why Liv Tyler is credited third though! She's right behind Elijah Wood and Ian McKellen, but she should at least be behind Viggo Mortensen and Sean Astin too. 

The scene that always gets me is when Frodo and Sam are almost to their destination and Frodo has grown tired and weary and Sam declares, "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you!" and he picks up Frodo with a determined look on his face. That should make even the cruelest of people shed a small tear, because seriously, if that scene does not get to you, you obviously have no heart or soul!

My other favorite moment is when the Witch King tells Eowyn that no man can kill him and she takes off her helmet and declares, "I am no man!" before killing him. That got a huge cheer from my audience when I saw it in the theaters. 

I've mentioned before that the effects are amazing, but I'm beginning to think they ran out of money by this movie because there's a shot of Eowyn and Merry on a horse and when they show a close up of the actors you can tell they're using green screen, it's that obvious and bad!  

While I liked Gollum in the second movie and felt sorry for him at times, I really hated him in this one and was glad when he got his comeuppance. I thought it was strange he didn't scream when he landed in the lava as I would imagine most people would scream if they were covered with hot, boiling lava. When Frodo and Sam are escaping from Mount Doom, it totally reminded me of the (very old school, circa 1992) PC game, "Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis" (the greatest game ever) when Indy and Sophia are escaping from Atlantis. In both scenarios, there's lava everywhere and things are crumbling down around them. 

These are amazing movies and by the time you finish them you are exhausted, but you feel strangely satisfied. They really let you escape and take you into another world. I highly recommend them and this is coming from somebody who's not really a fantasy fan. Sure, I've read and seen all the Harry Potter books and movies, but other than that and being a fan of the LotR films, I could care less about the fantasy genre. If you've never seen these movies, you must give them a chance because they are amazing. I would daresay that they are among the best movies of the aughties!