Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Fourth season!

I have once again completed another season of Beverly Hills 90210 and the gang have headed for college at California University! I will give an account for each character in alphabetical order:

Andrea - First of all, I love it when Andrea gets pissed off whenever somebody calls her "Andrea" and she goes, "It's AUNDrea." Andrea, who was the star newspaper writer in high school applies to be on the college paper, but decides she doesn't want to join the team when she has to write a review about the Peach Pit and doesn't want to write pieces about her friends that may paint them in a bad light. Obviously they didn't want Aundrea going in the same direction she did in high school, so they went in a different direction. Andrea starts dating her R.A./teacher (uh, I don't remember any of my R.A.s being teacher even if this guy is a grad student) and sadly, the first guy she ever sleeps with is just butt-ugly. I mean, damn, Andrea, it was true you were a lot cuter in high school with your curly hair and glasses (wait - isn't that suppose to make girls uglier? But for some reason Andrea needs curly hair and glasses to look attractive!), but dang, girl you could do better than that ugly (and racist as we soon learn!) ass! Luckily Aundrea comes to her senses and dumps Dan Rubin's ass and starts dating Jesse, a Latino studying law. She becomes pregnant because I guess Gabrielle Carteris was pregnant in real life. She and Jesse get married and she's planning on moving to San Fransico with Jesse where he's been offered a job. Does this mean no more Andrea in Beverly Hills? I certainly would not care if she left! Her baby girl was born a premie, but it looks like everything will be okay. They name her Hannah. 

Brandon - Brandon is talked into running for student body president because of how he organized rallies when he was in high school (and you have to give him lots of props because that was before Facebook was invented so he couldn't just send an invite out to everyone). His main opponent, who also writes for "The Condor", the college paper, is not happy that Brandon is the school's new golden boy and plans to find out if he has any skeletons in his closet. Brandon has a summer fling with a slightly older woman from NYC (it's Jenny Calendar!) but she's only in two episodes, so that doesn't go anywhere. Brandon's main storyline with a woman involves a twenty-seven year old married grad student/teacher. She starts flirting hardcore with Brandon before he knows she's married and when he finds out she's married to his sociology teacher who has asked him to tutor a star athlete, he asks her to back off. The athlete finds out that she is flirting with Brandon and tells Brandon that if he doesn't take his test for him, then he's going to tell the professor that his wife is cheating on him with Brandon. Well, Brandon doesn't take the bait because he knows there is nothing going on between them. Lucinda, the married women gets a divorce from her husband and she and Brandon start having a relationship. When Brandon finds out that she kissed Dylan, he gets jealous and tells her it's off...but she's still very persistent. Speaking of persistent, there's another woman, or in this case, girl since she's a high school senior, who keeps throwing herself at Brandon. Her name is Claire Arnold and she's the chancellor's daughter. She is one fucking annoying character and unfortunately she's going to be in the series for a few more seasons because I looked her up. Ugh! She relentlessly is throwing herself at Brandon and won't take no for an answer even though he tells her he's not interested...but he does end up kissing her, so way to stay strong, Brandon. But, ugh, I can't stand girls who act like that...and god, this girl is gonna grate! Oh, remember Emily Valentine from season 2; the girl Brandon dated for awhile before she started getting into drugs, stalked him, and had to be sent to the psych ward? Well, Brandon just thought he would head up to San Francisco to visit her because she had been on his mind. Who doesn't want to visit their crazy ex? He goes to the address of her parents' home (apparently she was released) but it turns out some woman is living there and tells him the family before her moved to Athens. "As in [someplace in California]?" Brandon asks and the woman replies with, "As in Greece!" Ha! I was thinking as in Georgia. So Brandon is on a trolley and the camera pans over and you see none other than Emily Valentine herself sitting on the other side, so they're back to back. The scene is so stupid and contrived because just when Emily is about to get off and they're going to miss each other, Brandon gets up to move and he runs right into Emily. LOL, the actress playing Emily is so horrible. When she sees him, she's like "BRANDON!" Okay, well it's hard to do without seeing someone do it...but trust me, it's horrible. She's only in two episodes, but they rekindle their romance (you are so fucking stupid, Brandon) but they have to end it because Emily is moving to France to study marine biology....uh, when the hell did that happen? I don't remember her being interested in marine biology... Brandon ends the season by going to Washington D.C. with the task force and there he meets President Bill Clinton. They show actual footage of Clinton at an outdoor event, but when they show Brandon meeting "Clinton", it is so obviously fake. He's only shown shaking hands with the president with a side view and a back view of "Clinton". The side view you can see the profile of "Clinton's" face and you can so obviously tell it's not Bill Clinton - I guess he didn't want to meet Jason Priestly! He also ends the season by sleeping with Kelly and starting a relationship with her...he took her to a retreat while she was still dating Dylan because he was dating Lucinda at the time and obviously he couldn't take a teacher to a school retreat, so he asked Kelly to go with him and they kissed while they were there and that's where they found out they had feelings for each other. Of course they do.

Brenda - Last season on Beverly Hills, 90210...Brenda decided she was going to college at the University of Minnesota and she's only there for the first two episodes (and they show the campus which is cool because that's where my brother went to school!) before she decides she misses Beverly Hills, her friends, and the warm weather (apparently the year she went back was supposed to be the coldest winter in Minnesota's history! Hmm...I'll have to ask my sis-in-law if this is true since she grew up there!) At first she's not sure if she wants to go to college when she gets back, but of course she attends CU because that's where everyone else goes to school. Her father introduces her to his boss's son, Stewart, and he and Brenda start dating. It's only three weeks later when Stewart (Stuart?) proposes to her. Of course she says yes because he is rich, and while he is no Dylan McKay (but really, who is?) he's not that bad-looking. SERIOUSLY, BRENDA? THREE WEEKS???? The wedding is suppose to be in six months (her parents are very much against it - Jim and Cindy are sensible people), but his parents want it to be a huge event. Brenda and Stuart decide they're going to elope in Las Vegas. Brenda tells Brandon and makes him promise not to tell their parents. Because Brandon is the good son, he lets it slip to his parents, but tells them that he will go to Las Vegas and talk some sense into her. He also tells the other gang and of course they all have to come along :::rolls eyes::: We keep getting hints from Dylan that he knew Stuart in the past and apparently he's not such a great guy, but he won't say what he did even though Brandon keeps asking him. Um, dude, this is your ex-girlfriend and your best friend's sister....maybe you should care a little more about who she's gonna marry. Okay, maybe you shouldn't care who your ex is going to marry, but you should care enough to tell your best friend if that's his sister. It turns out, minutes before they about to tie the knot, that Brenda and Stuart realize they're rushing into things (you think?!) and call the wedding off. I thought they had also called their relationship off because for the longest time you don't see Stuart at all, but it turns out he had been in South America working on some business deal. He and Brenda break up after he gets mad at Brenda for locking the keys in the car and they're out in the desert. Yes, I can understand being upset about that, but he was a huge jerk about it and needless to say, they broke up. We find out that Brenda still has feelings for Dylan (surprise, surprise) and they kiss in the last episode. There's another plotline involving Brenda where she becomes an activist turned extremist for animal rights. The school's med lab, which Aundrea is a part of, uses animals as part of their research and Brenda, Kelly, and Donna are all against it. Brenda finds herself involved in an extremist group who plan to ransack one of the labs and set al the animals free. She thinks this means one of the labs Aundrea doesn't work in (I don't know what the difference is), but it is the very lab and she tries to tell everyone not to do it, that they're using the animals for a good cause, but they let all the animals lose anyway and they get caught because it turns out one of the people in their group was a FBI agent working undercover and he tells Brenda that he will drop the charges if she gives up no jail time for Brenda, whew! Brenda, an aspiring actress, auditions for the lead role in "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." Kelly also auditions for the lead, even though Brenda thought she was just going to audition for another part and she gets jealous when the director really likes Kelly. Kelly decides to drop out because acting isn't her passion. The only competition Brenda has left is a girl named Laura (who I will talk more about later) and even though Laura had a great audition and Brenda choked on hers, Brenda still got the part. Rumors go around that Brenda got the part because she slept with the director who is known for getting close to his leading ladies. I really can't blame people for thinking that because we see Brenda arrive at his house wearing a black dress and while we never see what goes on, I thought it was kind of implied she was there to make sure she got the part, if you know what I mean. But people believe that she never slept with him, even though she never denies it! Well, even though she choked at her audition, she did a great job at the actual performances. The director invites her to join an acting school in London for the summer. This was Shannen Doherty's last season. I will actually miss her because Brenda is one of the best characters!

David - David has moved into a townhouse on the beach with Kelly and Donna, only he has to pretend he doesn't live there when Donna's mom visits because she wouldn't approve. David and Donna, who were the school DJs at West Beverly High, apply for a job at the college radio station and the only slot available is the 3-6 am time. Donna wisely quits because she can't handle that and school work. David keeps up with it and gets help from Kenny, the station manager who supplies him with speed. I guess the best way to take speed is with orange juice? David gets so hooked on the stuff that he loses Erin, his little sister in the park (I knew she would be found since she's one of the main characters ofBeverly Hills, 90210: The New Class). He seems to clean up his drug habit (he ends up dumping all these pills that he was holding for a drug dealer down the toilet just seconds before the narcotics police show up), but at the end of the season he makes friends with a bunch of druggies so it looks like he's going to be a druggie again next season. He also breaks up with Donna twice. The first time is because she won't have sex with him, but then they get back together and he ends up cheating on her and she catches him. Oh David, you turd! 

Donna - So Donna and David break up. Donna finds a dog that has escaped from the animal lab that Brenda's little group ransacked and names him Rocky. He has cancer and dies two days later, but she gets a new puppy and names it Rocky Too. Stupid name. Donna's mom finds out that David is living with them, but she trusts Donna to use her best judgement. Donna ends up getting her own show during the day because she had to fill in for somebody and the guy was impressed with her. She also has a fling with some random guy when she goes skiing (this was during the time she and David were broken up for the first time), but realizes she loves David. 

Dylan - Dylan breaks up with Kelly, like twice. OMG WHO CARES??? I always liked Dylan better with Brenda anyway, but whatever. Dylan's story arc for the first half of the season is that he has recently bought a new Porsche (because he should only drive his classic one on "rainy days" - fuckin' rich kids!) and he ends up getting carjacked. It was so stupid. It was the last ten seconds of the episode. He's sitting at a red light with his window rolled down and all of a sudden some dude gets in his face and has a gun pointed at him. Then the show ends and I'm thinking we're going to find out what happens in the next episode...but no. That was the whole scene! Obviously the guy got the car, but what did Dylan do? Did he put up a fight? Did the guy just let him go? I want to know what happened, damnit! After this incident, Dylan decides he's not safe anymore and buys a gun from some guy off the street (IN BROAD DAYLIGHT) who's selling them (illegally, duh) from his van. He almost shoots Brandon one day when he's in the shower and Brandon has to break into his house because he left his parents' anniversary gift there. Fucking dumbass Brandon BREAKS the window so he can open the door from the inside, Dylan hears this and grabs his guns and yells, "I HAVE A GUN" and Brandon says, "Yo, man, it's just me!" and Dylan goes, "OMG man, I could have killed you!" Then Brandon makes Dylan feel bad for almost killing him and Dylan promises he'll get rid of the gun. Now if I were Dylan, I would have been pissed because my stupid asshole inconsiderate friend had just broken into my house (and I hope he made Brandon pay for that!!) Like, dude, you couldn't wait a few minutes until Dylan was done in the shower? JFC! The gun story completely comes to a stop there, too. I thought maybe Dylan was going to find himself in another situation where a gun would have come in handy or else the police would find the disposed gun and trace it back to him and he would get in trouble for being in possession of an illegal gun. Oh, well. The next main story for Dylan is when a woman and a young girl appear at his door, and the woman claims to be friends with Dylan's father and he had given them his address as a possible place to stay. They're from Iowa and are moving to Beverly Hills because there was a flood. We learn that the little girl, Erica (around 12 years old) is Dylan's half-sister. Dylan wants to give them money to help them settle, but Jim Walsh wants to make sure they really who they say they are and needs the woman's social security. Erica's mom gets mad when Dylan asks her for it, but Erica gets it out of her mom's purse when she's not looking and we find that she's not as poor as she thinks she is. We do learn that she did know Dylan's dad, but she admits she's not sure if Erica is even his daughter (because she was a slut back then, I guess) and Dylan says he doesn't care because she's already his sister to him. The woman is getting married to some guy who looks like a child molester (and I seriously thought that was going to happen with him and the little girl...) but works in environmental studies. At the very last episode we learn that they have gotten married and are planning on moving to South America, but haven't told Dylan and the woman mentions something about "I didn't come all this way for this scam not to work" so there's some scam going on....hopefully we find out what's going on in the next season. It's so funny and stupid because Erica and her mom and new stepdad are at the airport about to leave for Brazil and she tells them she has to use the bathroom and after she leaves the bathroom we see a piece of paper taped to the inside of the stall door which reads, "If you find this please give to Dylan McKay"... and then it has Dylan's address. The stupid thing is there's no other message on the piece of paper! And it didn't look like anything was written on the back either! So...huh? Well, it turns out the paper fell off the door and is on the ground. 

Kelly - Even though Kelly is dating Dylan at the beginning of the season, this older college guy, whose name I already forgot because I don't give a shit about him, starts hitting on Kelly. Jerkface (we'll just call him that) knew Kelly back when she was a freshman in high school and he was a senior and he did something really jerky to her. You know, typical guy jerk. So he's putting the moves on Kelly and she falls for it and she tells Dylan that she wants them to see other peope. Uh, who the hell breaks up with Dylan McKay? He is WAY better than Jerky McJerkface. So surprise, surprise, Kelly learns (again) that Jerkface is an ass....duh.

Steve - Steve joins a frat and acts like the douche he already is. At the time he's dating a girl who is way out of his league and he's lucky that this girl even likes him, but he screws that up when he sleeps with another girl...that would be Laura, the girl who also auditioned for the same role as Brenda in "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof". Laura accuses Steve of raping her even though he says he didn't. Now I believe Steve. He may be a douche, but he's not a rapist. Laura told him, "I never said yes...but I never said no." Okay, whatever you crazy pyscho. But here's the kicker...a few months after she accuses Steve of raping her, they start dating when Steve helps her out with her audition (because his mom also played the same role in a play she did). Uh.......why the effing hell would you date someone who accused you of raping them? WHY? Steve, you're an idiot! After Brenda gets the part, Laura plans on committing suicide, but luckily Steve is there to stop her. Steve almost gets kicked out of the frat because he's supposed to steal some prized possession from a teacher's office (the guy who happens to be married to the woman Brandon had an affair with), but it turns out that Jerkface had warned the security gaurd what was going to go down and Steve got caught. The frat decides that both Steve and Jerkface can state their cases and one of them will be kicked out. Well, Jerkface was stupid and confided to one of the guys that he did set Steve up and he (Jerkface) ends up getting booted from the frat. Steve learns that the president of the frat is gay when he and Brandon accidently enter a gay coffee shop and he sees him there. The president asks him not to tell anyone, but Steve does, and the guy is going to resign, but Steve tells him he shouldn't and stands up for him when the guys start to give him a hard time, but then they realize that he's always been a good president, gay or not.

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