Thursday, August 8, 2013

The season with Hilary Swank AND Jessica Alba!

I recently finished season 8 of Beverly Hills, 90210:

Steve - Steve meets Carly, a single mother of a six year old boy, Zach. They do not get off on the right foot, but Steve becomes interested in her and finally woos her and they start dating. Carly is played by none other than two-time Oscar winner Hilary Swank. She was in the opening credits, but after her character moves to Montana (because her dad is sick), she was dropped from the credits. I guess Hilary Swank was fired from90210, but the joke is on them because she went on to win two Oscars! Ironically, Steve got Carly fired from the restaurant she worked at because he was there with a date and his date was being rude to and she was rude back, so Steve got her a job at the Peach Pit. Besides Claire, Carly was one of Steve's more serious relationships, so I rolled my eyes when he suddenly came to the realization that he never loved Carly because he would have followed her to Montana if he had! Nice attempt at a lame save there, show. 

Steve gets Brandon to join him to start their own newspaper, called "The Beverly Beat" (there's actually a strike-thru though "beat"), which I don't know how that happens since it's only the two of them, plus their assistant, but for the show, they seem to make it work. 

There's a stupid episode where Steve meets a woman and it's so obvious she's a lesbian and stupid idiot Steve doesn't get that and asks her and her "partner" to join him and Brandon (he tells her he lives with him so she thinks they're a gay couple) out and there's a whole misunderstanding. Wah, wah, wah! 

I don't exactly remember how it got started, but letters are sent to The Beverly Beat office and they are from a young woman, Jill, writing to a guy she's never met, Ted. Why this woman is writing intimate things to a guy she's never met, let alone seen before, I have no idea. But Steve is getting and reading the letters. He decides to meet Jill and pretend to be Ted and he does this awhile before he confesses he's not really him. He finally tracks down Ted and introduces Jill to him (a good-looking, successful guy) but Jill goes back to Steve saying she wants to be with him and they start dating, but after awhile Steve feels smothered by her and breaks up with her. He dates a separated woman, Sarah, but she ends up back with her husband. But ugh to both women. They make me miss Clare. Can you imagine there was ever a time I actually didn't like Clare? 

This is the season Lindsay Price joins, but she's not a regular cast member yet. I like her character, Janet (Brandon and Steve hire her) and I'm glad I do because I know she and Steve end up together. The gang have their 5th high school reunion (who the fuck has a five year high school reunion? I guess I understand why they did it since they probably knew that they still wouldn't be airing in 2003!) There is a sign at their reunion that says "See you in 2003!" and it's crazy how much the world will change between 1998 and 2003! The class of '93 are sent a paperback book filled with paragraphs about the entire alumni about what they are up to and who they are dating....okay, let me say, if my high school did that, I would really hate how did they get all that information and who cares what people are doing five years later? I can understand doing that for ten years or later, but 5 years out of high school isn't that much. Anyway, Steve is expected to show up with some ditzy, big-boobed blonde, but he decides to prove them wrong by bringing Janet. He ends up ditching her at the reunion to hook up with a hot blonde girl from his science class in the locker room, but what he doesn't know is that he's being set up because the hot blonde used to be a geek who he made fun of and when he's in the shower, she takes all his clothes. After the reunion, he goes to apologize to Janet who is crying and tells him that it isn't a good idea for them to go out again when he asks. Obviously I already know they end up together so they must have worked it out! 

Brandon - At the end of last season, Brandon and Kelly started dating (their second time) and Kelly moved into Casa Walsh. Their relationship was a bit strained because they always had the same routine every day and things were starting to get boring between them. They wanted to get the spark back by doing spontaneous things, like having sex on the kitchen table. Eww. Even though they seem to get the spark back, Brandon, being the douche bag he is, cheats on Kelly with Emma, this girl with some major bangs who is a writer for their paper. She and Brandon have an affair and she writes about it as a column for the newspaper, pretending it is someone else's story, of course. Kelly mistakenly thinks Steve cheated on Carly with Emma and when she goes to confront Emma about it, Emma tells her she had an affair with Brandon and Kelly breaks up with him and doesn't talk to him for a very long time. But eventually they do reconcile and get back together towards the end of the season. You're an idiot, Kelly Taylor.

Before all that happens, though, Brandon and Kelly run into Erica (Dylan's little sister) who is now 16 and is a streetwalker! They get her help and off the street where she eventually moves to London to stay with Dylan and Brenda. 

At the reunion, Andrea shows up and confesses to Brandon that she's getting a divorce from Jesse and she's dropped out of med school. I always wondered why Andrea went to med school....I always thought journalism was her calling since she was the editor of The Blaze, but I guess since Brandon was going down the road, they didn't want to be too repetitive with her. 

Brandon asks Kelly to marry him and there's a wedding and everyone is there, but at the last minute they decide not to get married. Thank god. They really are boring. 

Kelly - When the gang get back from Hawaii and are at the airport, Kelly gets shot after she and Brandon witness two guys hijacking a car. She is rushed to the hospital and at the end of the episode when she wakes up and sees Brandon, she says, "Who are you?" What a ridiculous TV cliche! Luckily it doesn't take too long before she starts remembering things again and she's back to old Kelly. Glad they didn't waste our time with that. Or maybe it just didn't feel like it since I watched all the episodes back to back instead of having to wait a week in between each one. They do find the guy who shot her...he was killed in a gang related incident and Brandon tells his corpse that "he deserved what he got." 

Kelly starts working at a clinic and starts getting hit on and sexually harassed by the main doctor. Once Kelly records the conversation, he is fired and replaced by Donna's father (who I thought had a stroke...I guess he got better). Like I mentioned before, Kelly breaks up with Brandon and starts dating a med student at the clinic. 

Jessica Alba was in a three-episode arc where she played a pregnant teenager who came to Kelly's clinic for help, then disappeared. Kelly later finds a newborn baby boy outside wrapped in a blanket and knows it belongs to Jessica. She goes to her house and she tells Kelly that her mom didn't know she was pregnant and she doesn't want the baby so he is up for adoption. Kelly tells Brandon that she wants to try to adopt him and Brandon isn't happy about this because Kelly didn't consult him first. (I think by this time he and Kelly are back together. Did I mention they get together? Of course they do). The baby goes to a gay couple and Jessica, who plays a bigot, wants the baby back because she doesn't want her son to end up gay and by law she is right to do so. I guess by then her mom knows she had a baby because when Kelly visits her, her mom is there with Jessica and the baby and is like, "Jessica Alba, you need to take more responsibility for this baby!" (except she used the character's name!) Finally Jessica realizes she can't take care of the baby and the gay couple get him. 

At the reunion, she runs into some girl we've never seen before who tells Kelly that she's married to Ross Webber, a guy who was a senior when Kelly was a freshman and took her behind the bushes and had sex with her, then told everyone about it and Kelly got a reputation for being a slut. Now I remember when Kelly was telling this story to Brenda and the other girls and it sounded like she was raped, but when she told it to Valerie, she made it sound like the time she lost her virginity, so I guess it could be both...but it was just weird that the same story seemed different. 

Kelly's mom meets Val's dad and they hit it off and decide to get married even though they haven't known each other for very long. Since Kelly and Val hate each other and don't want to be stepsisters, they do everything in their power to convince the other's parent not to marry their parent. But in the end, Kelly's dad is consistent with his not being there and blowing everybody off and tells Kelly to tell Valerie's mom that he won't be able to make it. Bill Taylor is such an ass! Once a jerk, always a jerk! 

David - David was set to sign a deal with a band, but backed out when he found out they were white supremacists and their lyrics were filled with racial slurs, including anti-Semitic rants and David is Jewish. He has a lot of financial problems this season and seeks help from a loan shark but gets in over his head and is helped out anonymously by Noah, who he doesn't like because he started dating Donna. As you probably guessed, David and Donna broke up (for like the 10th time) this season. David and Valerie start fake dating and fake having sex to make their exes jealous, but eventually they start dating for real, but end up breaking up at the end of the season. Um, doesn't David remember when he dated Val a couple seasons ago and was furious at her when she wanted David to sleep with her friend who was blackmailing her? I guess not. To make money, David starts doing jingles for local advertisements. 

Valerie - When the gang goes to Hawaii (for a gig Donna got there), Valerie meets Noah Hunter, the newest addition to the cast and probably the most boring character added to the series. Noah is a loner, mysterious, brooding, and all the ladies fall for him. Um, doesn't that sound like Dylan McKay? He's just replacing Dylan! But at least Dylan was cool without having to try hard. Noah even has a dark past: he was drunk and while driving with his girlfriend, she died because of his own stupidity. Valerie starts dating Noah, even though he is poor and lives on a boat, but on the side, she starts seeing a rich man and Noah dumps her. Noah reveals to Brandon that he is a trust fund kid and has millions and Valerie finds this out and is angry that he lied to her. 

Now if you remember a few season back, when Brandon was still in high school and got into some serious trouble because he was gambling? Well, the same bookie comes back and wants to use the After Dark to place bets. At this point, Noah and Valerie run the place (I can never keep track who's in charge of it) and Noah said he didn't want any gambling, but Valerie goes behind his back and gets in some serious trouble and her punishment is having to do community service at the clinic Kelly works at and Kelly greatly enjoys her making do all this dirty work like mopping and cleaning the toilets. 

Noah's older brother visits and puts the "date rape drug" into Val's drink. She drinks it, but Noah is there and his brother gets a call from his wife (lovely guy there) so he doesn't do anything. Noah takes her upstairs and they start kissing (this is when he was dating Donna) and the next day Valerie wakes up and can't remember anything and accuses Noah of rape and they go to court. He is acquitted because of his perfect rap sheet and because Valerie is kind of a whore so nobody believed her when she said she was raped. I'm still not sure what happened..apparently they did have sex, but Noah didn't know she was drugged and she was kissing him back.

When Valerie is called by a doctor to donate bone marrow because she is a match, she says she will go in to talk to the doctor. While she's there, she runs into the man's (grown up) son and daughter who tell her that their dad is a child molester. This upsets Val greatly because she was molested by her own father and even though she's not suppose to know anything about the patient (and I guess this is the reason why), she decides not to give him any of her marrow because she sees he has a granddaughter and doesn't want to help a monster live. Now if I were in Val's shoes, I would do the same...I would not help a child molester live longer! But they do find another match for him, so Val doesn't have to feel guilty that she killed him. 

She and David break up and after they do, Val is in a bad place and has sex with some random guy who she later finds out does drugs and has AIDS so the last episode has Val going to the clinic to see if she has AIDS or not. Cliffhanger! 

There's a great line when Valerie says "Saved by the bell!" when there's an awkward moment between her and Kelly (or maybe it was Donna) and the doorbell rings. Haha, nice little shoutout there to TAT's other big show. There's a word for that when TV shows/movies give little shoutouts to their actor's other works, but I forget what it is. Another example I cam remember is when Pacey commented on The Mighty Ducks in Dawson's Creek.

Donna - At the end of last season, Donna and David had sex and David moved in to the beach house, but Donna wanted them to have separate rooms because she didn't want her mom to know they had started sleeping together. There's one scene where Donna is at the drugstore with Kelly to get birth control pills and while she's waiting in line, Mrs. Martin just so happens to walk in and get in line behind them, telling them she's getting a prescription. The pharmacist comes out and starts explaining to Donna how to use them and Kelly jumps in and tells Mrs. Martin those are her pills and Mrs. Martin makes a comment to Donna, saying, "Thank God those aren't for you!" Then there was another scene where Mrs. Martin is over at the beach house and asks Donna if she have some advil and Donna tells her they're in the bathroom and I thought for sure she was going to open the medicine cabinet and see the birth control pills and start freaking out, but that didn't happen. Opportunity missed, if you asked me. How did Mrs. Martin find out her daughter was having sex? Donna told her. Yawn. She was mad at first, but then seemed fine with it after a few episodes. 

Donna starts getting jobs for fashion designers but most of them end up in disaster and she gets fired. When she has a gig as a personal shopper, she accepts Valerie's help, but Valerie tells the clients that it's her who's doing all the work and they fire Donna and want to continue to work with Valerie. Then another client she worked for has young foreigners making their clothes in a sweat shop (this must have happened around the time of the Kathy Lee Gifford controversy!) and she finds out that Steve's dad owns the building where the sweat shop is. Brandon writes about it in his newspaper and Steve's dad states that he will fix the problem and that's the last we hear of that story.

In one of her many jobs, Donna works on a fashion shoot that revolves around a spoiled child who is only in the modeling world because her mom wants it. This girl was supposed to be 8, but you could tell she was played by a teenager (or maybe older!) It was just really obvious. She may be small and was acting like a petulant child, but no way she was a child. I looked the actress up on IMDb and while it didn't say what year she was born, it did give her height as being only five feet tall.

Her grandmother dies and before she does, she tells Donna that she and David were meant to be. Grandma Martin knows best! 

Noah's brother, awesome guy he is, gives Donna some pain pills after she was in a car accident and her back was hurting her. She was having trouble staying awake at work and giving presentations and working on her drawings. She steals her co-workers sketches and uses them as her own. The co-worker quits, but Donna confesses to her boss that she stole them and she is fired. She goes through a downward spiral and overdoses and is taken to rehab...just like the time Kelly got addicted to cocaine! Except this time Donna didn't have to room with somebody who would later try to emulate and kill her!

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