An Incredibly Bad Sequel

Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco

Director: David R. Willis

Voice Talent: Michael J. Fox, Sally Field, Ralph Waite, Sinbad, Carla Gugino, Stephen Tobolowsky

Released: March 8, 1996

Without a SHADOW of a doubt, the first movie is so much better. There is no CHANCE that anyone would like the sequel better. If you like this movie better, you're barking up the wrong tree. You may think I'm being SASSY, but it's the truth! Ha, see what I did there?

Back in 2016, I reviewed Homeward Bound, a movie from my childhood that I have very fond memories of. After all, I was a young redhead with my own Himalayan cat! Three years after that movie came out, a sequel was made, and, well, it's not very good. In fact, it's pretty bad. Infuriating, really. Yes, this movie made me so mad, and, oh, trust me, I'll get into the many reasons of why it irked me so much. The first reason is because it was unnecessary. There was absolutely no need for a sequel, but I guess since the first one was so beloved and money talks, they made a sequel.

Let's get reacquainted with everyone, shall we? The Burnford/Seaver family is now living in San Francisco (remember, they moved there in the first movie). Bob married Laura and became the stepfather of Peter, Hope, and Jamie. In my review of the first movie, I made a comment that "I got the sense" that Jamie was Peter's biological son. I rewatched the Homeward Bound and I'm not sure why I ever thought that! In fact, Chance tells us that Jamie is Laura's little boy. 

All the kids each have their own pet: Chance (voiced by Michael J. Fox), the rambuctious American bulldog belongs to Jamie (who is maybe 7 or 8?; I'm really bad at trying to guess ages). Sassy (voiced by Sally Field), the Himalayan cat (and who lives up to her name!) belongs to Hope (who is 12/13?) and Shadow, the loyal and old golden retriever, belong to Peter (who is 15/16?). In the first movie, Shadow was voiced by Don Ameche, in one of his last roles. In this movie, Shadow is voiced by Ralph Waite. I think his voice work was fine, but he's no Don Ameche! Also, they kept saying how old Shadow was in the first movie and I'm assuming the sequel takes place in real time, so three years have passed, so how old is he here? 

So in this movie, they need to have the pets be separated from the family and try to find their way back. The movie, after all, is called Homeward Bound. I can only imagine that the writers were racking their brains trying to think of how to make that happen. Let me explain what they came up with, then I'll add my own comments and why I think it's stupid:

The family is flying to Canada to go camping and they're bringing the three pets.

Okay, now for my commentary (which will be a lot longer!): First of all, we are never told where in Canada they're going, we just hear they're going to Canada which is hilarious. Like, are they going all the way to Quebec from San Francisco? I'm guessing they went somewhere in British Colombia. I suppose they're going camping because it would make more sense to take the dogs with them. Dogs, not their cat. Why are they bringing Sassy? That seems just like a terrible idea. There's a reason when you go camping or visit National Parks you see dogs, but not cats. I understand they need her for part of the plot, just as I understand they have the family visit Canada be part of the plot because they need to fly to their destination. But this is another part of the problem I have. This family is going camping with their pets, right? They live in San Francisco. California is full of National and State Parks. Just drive to one of those, especially if you want to take your pets with you. This family is so stupid. 

But before we head to the airport to head to Canada, let's set up some key elements for the plot. Chance wants to play with Jamie, but Jamie can't play because he has baseball practice so Chance just follows him to the field. Some of the other kids' dogs are there too and those dogs can also talk. There are three dogs who are doing commentary for the game: Sparky Michael the Collie (voiced by Al Michaels), Lucky Lasorda the Havanese (voiced by Tommy Lasardo) and Trixie Uecker the German Shepard (voiced by Bob Uecker). Now I knew who Bob Uecker was because I know he was a sports broadcaster and played one in the Major League movies. I looked up the other two Al Michaels is a sports commentator (he's 80 years old and still doing it!) and Tommy Lasordo was a baseball player, coach, and manager of the L.A. Dodgers from 1967 -1996. Thank God for Wikipedia, am a I right? This scene should have been a warning that there would be more talking dogs to come. Be afraid, be very afraid. 

After a kid hits the ball, Chance bounds after it and grabs it, wanting to play fetch. After the kids chase him, Jamie scolds him and a girl on the opposing team scolds Jamie and tells him to keep his dumb dog off the field. Like, let's chill out, girl. Jamie isn't happy about the camping trip because he's going to miss the two most important games. Boo hoo, you're only seven years old, get over it. And, to give him credit, he does. We never hear about baseball for the rest of the movie. 

So now we're at the airport and the three pets are in their kennels, headed to be shipped on the airplane. This is something I wouldn't feel comfortable with: putting my pet on an airplane, ESPECIALLY for a one-week vacation (we're never told how long they're going to be gone, so I'm just guessing). Because Jamie has been dismissive of Chance lately, Chance is sure that they're going back to "the bad place" (is he forking crazy?) and is frantically trying to escape. He is jerking so much all over the place that his kennel drops off the conveyer belt and he is able to get out. Shadow tells Sassy they need to escape too. We see Sassy put her paw through the cage and unlatch the door while saying, "Honestly does the cat always have to be the brains of the operations?" (Luckily, my cat was asleep on the couch next to me so he didn't get any tutorial on how to escape a kennel!)

This scene gives me so much anxiety because there are three animals just running around outside at an airport, near the runways! It feels like quite a few minutes pass before an employee sees them and he shouts for someone to call security. The pets enter back through the airport through the conveyer belt where the family had checked in. It's so hilarious and so dumb that there are people everyone and they're just staring at the animals. Nobody even says anything or has much of a reaction. The pets return to the tarmac and come to the conclusion that the family must be on one of the many planes and Shadow is certain that Peter is "on that one" and they decide to sit right in the middle of the plane's path because Shadow is certain that "they'll be sure to see [them]." I guess he thinks the plane will just stop? Now, we know Shadow was an old dog in the first movie, so he must be downright senile. The Shadow from the first movie would know that was a stupid and dangerous idea. Sassy seems to be the only who is uncertain about this idea. When Shadow tells her, "Don't worry", she replies, "I'm worried." Sassy is so my spirit animal! Well, of course the plane doesn't stop and it flies into the sky, seemingly to just barely miss the animals. We get a shot of Chance who is laying down with his paws over his head. This will come back later in the movie. While all this was going on, security must have been called because we see people getting out of cars and trying to catch the pets, but they manage to escape. 

When the family arrives in...Canada, they learn the bad news that the airport lost their pets. You know the dad is thinking, Oh, God, not this again! Peter wants to go back, but Bob tells him he'll fly back in the morning so the kids can still go camping with their mom. The two older kids aren't having it and want to go back to find their pets. I can't blame them; if I were in their situation, I wouldn't have any fun if I knew my pet was missing. I'd just be worrying too much! 

The first night, the pets find a large box in an alley to sleep in. The next morning they're ready to begin their trek home. Shadow knows that if they cross "a golden bridge", then they'll be o the right track. I kind of scoffed when he said that because all they have to do is cross the Golden Gate Bridge? In the first movie, they had to cross a mountain range! (Well, maybe it was only one mountain...but still.) The stakes were so much higher in the first movie. This just seems like child's play. (Dogs' play? Cats' play? Pets' play?) 

We first get our glimpse of the "villains" of the movie: two dog-nappers in a red van stop when they see a poodle who is tied to a fire hydrant while her owner (we know she's a girl because she is voiced by a woman with a (presumably fake, excuse-moi, faux) French accent) is inside a convenience store. One of them grabs her, but the man comes out of the store and sees the guy holding his dog. The dog-napper tells the poodle's owner that he ought to be ashamed of himself because doesn't he know "there are scoundrels out here just wanting to steal a beautiful dog like this?" When he gets back inside the van, dogs are barking from the back. Obviously they are modeling these two (whose names are Jack and Ralph; I had to look that up on Wikipedia) after Jasper and Horace. 

The pets (who didn't encounter what happened with the poodle) are getting hungry, especially Sassy. She sees a house with a young boy who is holding a teeny tiny little bitty kitty. She declares, "Where there's a cat, there's cat food." That made me think of that Ralph Wiggum quote, "My cat's breath smells like cat food." That always makes me laugh because it's true! Sassy goes up to the kid who starts petting her and says, "Yes, isn't my fur long and silky?" Chance decide he's going to try to get some chow (hey, in the first movie he ate cat food!) and bounds over to the kid who becomes frightened and quickly gets up. His mom comes out and tells Chance to go away. I admit I did laugh Chance says, "Meow, I'm a cat." 

While continuing their journey, Chance (literally) runs into a boxer who calls him a punk and tells him to watch it. A bullmastiff comes around the corner and asks what's all the commotion. They are Ashcan and Pete and they're the troublemaking dogs. I'm not really sure why they're in this movie because we already have the antagonists with the dog-nappers. Much like this movie, they're just unnecessary. 

After one of the dog threatens to have Sassy for lunch (though she did start it by claiming they came from Planet Stupid), Shadow tells her to run (she just jumps up on something high) and he and one of the other dogs "fight", but clearly they're just playing. Chase runs off, saying he's going to find help.

Even more dogs appear and one of them starts fighting with Ashcan and tells him to stay off his turf. The two scoundrel dogs run away. Riley is the leader of the dog gang (lol, I can't believe I just typed that). He's voiced by Sinbad and according to Wikipedia, he's a Labrador-mix. I thought Delilah, the dog voiced by Carla Gugino, was a lab, but she's a Kuvasz, a breed I'm not familiar with. Other dogs in Riley's gang include Bando, the Bluetick Coonhound (I'm sorry, but I have no clue if/when dogs breeds are supposed to be capitalized or not) voiced by Stephen Tobolowsky and Sledge, a shetland-collie mix voiced by Tisha Campbell. There's also a couple other dogs. There's so many talking dogs in this movie! It just makes it so much more cartoony than the first one. 

But wait! It gets worse! After Shadow realizes that Chase ran off, Delilah offers to find him. Already I can get a whiff that a love story between these two dogs is probably going to happen. And once she's chasing after him and comments, "cute butt" (which made me groan), I knew for sure we were in for a flirtation between the two dogs. Do we really need a love story between two dogs? I can watch Lady and the Tramp for that! 

Meanwhile, the other dogs with Shadow and Sassy see the red van coming by and hide because they know what's up. Riley tells Shadow that any dogs that are snatched will be taken to a place called "the lab". Is this plotline recycled from Beethoven?

When Shadow asks about the bridge, Riley tells them it's impossible to cross and questions why they are going back home because their humans don't want them anyway. I'm not sure why he's assuming this, but he sounds super bitter so I'm guessing there's a Lotso situation with Riley where he was once loved, then rejected by a family?

We-ell, I was sort of right. Delilah tells Chance about Riley's backstory. They're at a park having a doggie date, I guess, and Chance mentions Jamie and how he's his "human." Delilah says that Riley told her dogs shouldn't trust humans "no matter how friendly they seem."

So let me tell you about Riley's backstory, then I'll comment on it. There'll be lots to comment on because it's so f**ked up! 

Delilah begins, "When Riley was a puppy, he thought he found a home with humans." We see it's Christmas morning and under the tree, Riley, as a puppy with a red ribbon tied around his neck, is sitting in a basket. A young boy comes down with his parents and he just totally ignores the dog and starts opening the presents and playing with his new toys. Later that day (it's dark by this time), they "drove into the city and left Riley in the gutter on the coldest, rainiest night of the year." We see the puppy (still wearing the bow) in a cardboard box on the side of the road getting drenched by the rain. Delilah concludes with, "So Riley found other abandoned dogs and he made a home for them to protect them from all humans." (BTW, I love how most of these "abandoned dogs" seem to be purebreds!)

Dear Lord, this is worse than Lotso's situation! At least the little girl loved Lotso! He was just unfortunately replaced when he was left behind at the park. Plus, you know, he was a stuffed animal and not a REAL animal! (Yeah, yeah, I know he was sentient, but the humans didn't know that!) Now, if you remember (from one paragraph ago) my prediction about what happened to Riley before becoming a street dog: 

I'm guessing there's a Lotso situation with Riley where he was once loved, then rejected by a family?

Uh, he wasn't even loved! He was rejected the same day he was given to the boy. Why did his parents give him a puppy when it was clear he absolutely had no interest. Also, I'm giving major side eye to this kid. What kind of child wouldn't go crazy seeing an adorable little animal under the tree? He's probably going to end up to be a psychopath. I don't know where they got the puppy from, whether an animal shelter or a pet shop, but couldn't they just return him instead of leaving him on the side of the road in the rain? These people suck. They are the real villains! But this whole story of Riley's distrust and dislike of humans is just so ridiculous and doesn't ring true. They just need to give him a reason why he doesn't like humans. Riley even uses the word "pet" as a derogatory term. 

Chance puts two and two together and thinks that since Riley was abandoned because the kid didn't want to play with him, the Burnfords/Seavers are going to get rid of him since Jamie doesn't seem to want to play with him anymore. Eh, I'm going to Jamie some leeway here because he was busy with baseball and the kid shouldn't have to play with his dog all the time. He might have been annoyed with Chance at the beginning of the movie, but he still loves his dog. Chance (and Shadow and Sassy) have been nothing but loved by the Burnford/Seaver family. Chance is jumping to some ridiculous conclusions. Delilah tells him she was never a pet, that she was born a stray. 

Chance and Delilah continue their "doggie date" by trying to get food from humans at a fair, going to the pier with all the seals, and ending the day on top of a hill overlooking the city with Chance telling her this might be the greatest day of his life. Ouch, don't let Jamie know he thought that! I'm genuinely surprised we didn't see the two love dogs sharing a plate of spaghetti Lady and the Tramp-style. This is a Disney movie, after all! 

So while the two love dogs seem to be having their own (all day) doggie date, Shadow, Sassy, Riley, and the other dogs come across a house that is ablaze in flames. It is the same house with the little boy and itty bitty kitty. So basically the pets have not made any progress. Why is their house on fire, you ask? Well, just minutes before, those doggone dog nappers had stopped at the corner where the house is located and one of them threw his cigar out the window and it landed in a bush near the house which caused the flames. By the time the animals get there, the firemen are there. The little boy, Tucker, is still inside, so Shadow goes in to rescue him. Tucker is crying because his little itty bitty kitty, Tiger, is still in there, but don't worry, Sassy has rescued Tiger.

This kind of reminded me when the little girl is lost in the woods in the first movie, but only in the sense that the animals are helping a human child. At least there's payoff in the first movie as the search party recognizes the animals from a poster they've seen and call the family to let them know they found their pets. There's no payoff with this scene; the kid just pets Sassy and Shadow and thanks them. I did chuckle when Sassy is all indignant because she only gets a pat and doesn't get a treat. There was really no reason for this scene to be in the movie. I guess they wanted to remind us that Shadow and Sassy are heroes. Or maybe they needed something for this to do since the whole plotline seems to revolve around Chance meeting a new girlfriend. 

When the dogs (and Sassy) return to Riley's hideout, an abandoned house, they all find Chance and Delilah huddled together. One of the dogs starts taunting them by singing, "Chance and Delilah sniffing at a tree..." Yeah, I groaned at this. Another female dog even praises Delilah, telling her that Chance "looks like he's got it going on." Like, WTF am I watching? 

Now we're starting to learn the weird social dynamics of this dog gang. In an earlier scene we learned that Bando (the coonhound) has a crush on Delilah and he's clearly jealous of Chance. When he asks Delilah what about them (meaning him and her), he tells her they're just friends. Haha, that dog just got friend zoned. Also, this movie is so incredibly bad. One of the other dogs tells him "you ain't nothing but a hound dog." Gee, I wonder why they cast that particular type of dog in this role? 

Riley isn't happy that Delilah is fraternizing with a dog who is a pet. Delilah tells him she doesn't have to take it so she and Chance leave. I don't know what Riley's problem is. He knows that Chance is trying to get home with the other pets, so it's not like he's going to stay around. Or maybe not because while Chance is romping around, Shadow goes up to Delilah and tells him that she needs to let Chance go and that he can't survive the city. Delilah tells him that she can take care of him. I don't mean to be rude, but what a bitch! I guess Delilah convinced Chance to stay with her and the other stray dogs? Chance would be an idiot if he did that.

We get an update from the family: they're stuck at the airport because of the weather. Did they not look at the weather report before choosing this week to go camping? Sounds like they picked a terrible time to go, weather-wise! 

Here comes the red van! All the dogs except Chance, who is rummaging though a trash bag, run back to hide in the abandoned house. Chance must have some hearing problems because the two dognappers are right behind him and he has no idea. This so-called hearing problem will also be an issue in an upcoming scene. The dog nappers manage to capture him by tricking him with a cheeseburger and throw him in the back of the van.  

The dogs find the van and distract the driver while Sassy pulls her magic and unlocks the door for Chase and the other dogs in the van to escape. The crazy thing is the dog nappers are upset because all those dogs are worth $100. Like, does he mean they're worth $100 a piece, or worth $100 all together? I'm gathering it's the latter. They're going through all that trouble for just a measly $100? Even in 1996, that wasn't that much! 

The dognappers are chased away and their van ends up in the bay. After all that commotion, Delilah tells Chance that he doesn't belong here. This upsets him and he runs off, narrating that he's sad and "it was like getting a bath, missing dinner, and going to the vet, all rolled into one."

It's now time for Riley to take the pets to the bridge (what took him so long in the first place?) and Sassy is in a good mood, singing a song to the tune of Home on the Range: "Home, home, in the 'burbs, where the cat and the squeak toy can play. Where no traffic is heard and I can maul birds and sleep in the sunshine all day."  This is one of the few things that made me laugh in this movie. Shadow isn't quite as chipper because he feels bad that Chance isn't with them. I laughed when he tells Sassy that they can't leave Chance behind because "home just won't be the same" and Sassy replies, "Exactly." Ha! Sassy is easily the best character in this movie. They should have just made the sequel be of her getting left alone at home (with a trusted neighbor to take care of her, of course!) after the family goes camping with the two dogs. We could just follow her hijinx while the family is away. I bet you that would have been a much better movie than this! Hmm, it could be like Home Alone....but with a cat! 

She does agree with Shadow that they need to go back to look for Chance. Now here comes Ashcan and Pete, two characters we absolutely did not need. They're just here to cause problems so Chance can save the day and put them in their place. Now the three pets are together and can walk across the bridge and head home. 

Meanwhile, the Burnfords/ Seavers must have made it back to San Fransisco because they're all in the car with the kids urging their dad to drive faster because they're all so sure that the pets will be at home. This made me laugh. I guess because the animals found their way home once before, they think they'll be able to do it again. 

Remember in the first movie when we get an emotional (and ICONIC) scene when the animals return home and are reunited with their humans? Yeah, not so much in this movie. They TRY to make it emotional, but they weren't fooling me. The pets have to cross a winding road (which isn't particularly busy) to get home. Shadow and Sassy cross it. Chance decides he's going to sit in the middle of the road and forlornly look back at the San Fransisco skyline, thinking of how much he's going to miss Delilah. Sassy and Shadow can hear a large vehicle approaching (a semi, in fact), but not Chance! This dog must be going deaf if he can't hear a semi approaching! But guess who happens to be behind the semi? Why it's the Burnford/Seaver family! They're on a winding road and Bob is trying to pass the truck while going around a bend. WTF? I don't care if your seven-year-old son is telling you to hurry, no need to get everyone killed! The truck driver sees a dog sitting in the middle of the road and steps on his brakes to avoid the animal and Bob has to steps on his brakes. They're wondering what's going on when the two older kids look out the window and see Shadow and Sassy trotting towards their car. 

Bob realizes that the reason the truck stopped so suddenly was because there was another animal in the road. We're supposed to think Chance was hit, but I knew the movie wouldn't go there. In fact, I was expecting him to be thrown off the road with maybe a broken leg, but no, he's found under the the truck, untouched, with his paws over his head, just like in the earlier scene when the plane flew over them. The whole scene was just so cartoonish. 

Also, you think that now the pets have been reunited with the family, the movie is over, right? No, we still have to clear up the Delilah story. UGH. So once they're home, the family and pets are outside in the backyard, getting ready for a picnic. There is one really funny scene where Sassy hops up on the table and Hope picks her up and puts her on the ground and says, "Sassy, not on the table" and Sassy replies, "Well, I guess the honeymoon's over, huh?" Sassy: truly this movie's MVP. 

So even though Chance is back at home and even though Jamie is giving him lots of attention, he's feeling depressed because he misses his girlfriend. UGH. He hears barking and perks up, thinking it's Delilah. Well, it's just a dog following a kid on a bike. (Like, the only dog to not talk in this movie.) But then a few moments later, he hears more barking and it's f**king Delilah. When he asks how she found him, she replies, "I followed my nose, Chance, and my heart." I groaned because after she said "I followed my nose", I knew she was immediately going to follow it with the corny "and my heart" line. But even weirder, she tells him in a throaty whisper, "Chance, you're my man." It's just so, eww. Also, he's a f**king dog, not a man. This happens earlier in the movie when Riley refers to Delilah as a woman She's a f**king dog, not a woman. Anyway, the two love dogs start frolicking in the yard and claim their love for each other. I really, really hated this stupid love story.

The family realizes that Chance must have met her while the pets were separated from them. All the kids want to keep her and of course their dad agrees because he's a pushover. He should have told them he was going to take her to the Humane Society and we would get a little blurb at the end that Delilah was adopted by a nice family and lived a wonderful life, but no, they're going to add another pet to the family. I really hope they spade and neuter their pets! Chance is so happy that he leaps into the air twice. It's a pretty good trick they trained the dog to do, but it's so corny. 

The family must have been waiting for pizza for their picnic because the movie ends with the pizza guy arriving and Chance excitedly jumps up around him. The pizza ends up flying out of its box and lands on the grass with Chance eating at least a third of it. That would've ticked me off so much. 

This movie is terrible and unnecessary. There were absolutely no stakes. In the first movie, the pets had to deal with the elements and wildlife, in this movie they have to force conflict because there isn't any. I don't know how long exactly the pets were gone in the first movie, but I'm guessing at least one week, if not longer. In this movie, it had to be no more than two days. They just have to find their way back the airport and probably would have gotten home a lot faster if they hadn't been diddy-daddlying with the dog gang they met.

Just look at the poster for the first movie vs this one. Just looking at the two different posters, you can tell the stakes are way higher in the first movie:

Skip this one and watch the first movie, which is a remake of the 1963 movie, The Incredible Journey, which is based on the 1961 book of the same name by Sheila Burnford. I've never seen the original movie (or read the book) but I found out that the animals don't talk and my first thought was, What kind of nonsense is that? when I realized, Oh, yeah....Maybe I'll check it out sometime. I'm sure it will be better than the dreck I just watched, but no way I like it better than the 1993 movie I grew up with!