Friday, May 30, 2025

If the Shoe Fits

Cinderella (1950)

Directors: Wilfred Jackson, Hamilton Luske, and Clyde Geronimi
Voice Talent:  Ilene Woods, Eleanor Audley, Verna Felton, Rhoda Williams, Lucille Bliss, James MacDonald
Released: April 27, 1950

Oscar nominations:

Best Song - "Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo" (lost to "Mona Lisa" from Captian Carey, U.S.A. - what the heck is that?!))
Best Score - Oliver Wallace and Paul J. Smith (lost to Adolph Deutsch (yikes on the name, but to be fair, he was born in 1897) and Roger Edens for Annie Get Your Gun)
Best Sound Recording (lost to All About Eve)



Cinderella (2015)
Director: Kenneth Branagh
Cast: Lily James, Cate Blanchett, Richard Madden, Helena Bonham-Carter, Stellan Skarsgard
Released: March 13, 2015

The 2015 live-action version of Cinderella was one of the first one to kickstart all the live-action Disney remakes. Yeah, I know there was 101 Dalmatians with Glenn Close, but that came out in 1996 so that's nearly a twenty year gap. Right after 2015 Cinderella, there was The Jungle BookBeauty and the Beast, Aladdin, The Lion King, MulanThe Little Mermaid, Snow White, Lilo and Stitch, and I'm sure they'll be making live-action Moana and Frozen, but I want to see live-action The Black Cauldron! 

Even though I haven't seen all the remakes, I believe that Cinderella is the best. For one thing, with all due respect to the animated 1950 movie, there was much to improve on, which they did, while also keeping the essence of the original. 

Of all the early era Disney Princesses, Cinderella is my favorite. Aurora just sleeps through the majority of the movie (yes, I know it is called SLEEPING Beauty) and I recently re-read my review of Snow White and thought her to be "very condescending" and "a little bit dumb" (remember when she opened the door to that scary old woman the Queen was disguised as?). Plus I couldn't stand her shrill singing voice. At least Cinderella didn't annoy me and even though the music wasn't my cup of tea, she did have a very beautiful singing voice. Maybe the sound quality vastly improved from 1937 to 1950 or maybe Ilene Woods (voice of Cinderella) was a better singer than Adriana Caselotti (voice of Snow White). Or maybe both are true. 

For this review, since I'm pretty sure everyone is familiar with this story, specifically the Disney version (tis a tad different that the Grim version!), I'm just going to go through some main plot points and compare and contrast the two movies. How fun! 

The beginning/Cinderella's backstory: The animated film, being much shorter than the live version, is quick to get to the story. We get a yada-yadda'd Cliff Notes version of her life before her stepmother and stepsisters entered into it. After her mother dies, we are told that Cinderella's father "gave his beloved child every luxury and comfort, still he felt that she needed a mother's care." This seems to be the main reason he married again, "a woman of good family" (whatever that means). 

In the 2015 movie, we see Ella (oh, yeah, her name is Ella, the Cinderella name will come later ) as a young girl, growing up with her loving parents in a beautiful chateau with many farm animals. It is quickly established she loves animals and believes the mice she has befriended can understand her. 

Cinderella - In the prologue of the animated movie, we are told that even though her stepmother was "cold, cruel, and bitterly jealous of Cinderella's beauty", even though the "family fortunes were squandered upon by the vain and selfish stepsisters", even though the chateau she grew up in was falling apart, even though she was "forced to become a servant in her own house", even though she lived in a tall turret that's pretty much isolated from the rest of the house, and even with all this abuse and humiliation, she remained "gentle and kind...with each new dawn, she found new hope that someday her dreams of happiness would come true." 

Much like her animated counterpart, our 2015 Cinderella (played by Lily James) is also an optimist despite her dire situation. Before her mother dies, she instills some words of wisdom upon her: "Have courage and be kind." This will be her mantra for the rest of the movie (and, really, for the rest of her life). This Cinderella will be a little more bold than the 1950 Cinderella, at one point she will pointedly ask her stepmother, "Why are you so cruel?" While animated Cinderella seems a little more passive, there is a scene where her stepmother and sisters are enjoying that she won't be able to attend the ball and being totally smug about it. While Lady Tremaine is pretending to be sympathetic, telling her there will be other balls, Cinderella just says "yes" and walks away, not letting them get any more satisfaction. 

Cinderella's father: We basically don't know anything about him in the animated film. I was asking myself why he would marry such a bitch, but Lady Tremaine doesn't become truly awful to Cinderella 'til after he dies. We're never told how she treated her while he was alive and it seemed he married Lady Tremaine when Cinderella was still a young girl. In the 2015 movie, Ella is older when her father tells her he thinks it's time "to begin a new chapter" and tells her how the Master of the Mercer's Guild, a man he met on his travels once, had died recently and left behind his widow, "an honorable woman still in the prime of her life." Ella knows he is asking for her blessing and wants him to be happy. 

We are never told what Cinderella's father does in the '50 movie even though they live in a beautiful chateau and Cinderella has a horse, but in the remake he is a merchant who often travels abroad. He's in the movie for about half an hour. He tells Ella he'll be traveling for work and will be back in a few months. He asks her what she would like to bring him back (because he always comes back with a gift for her) and she replies, "Bring me the first branch your shoulder brushes on your journey." Her stepsisters have asked for lace and a parasol, so this proves that she isn't materialistic. 

Because this is Cinderella, I knew he wouldn't be surviving this journey. I thought he might die in an accident, but he fell ill and died. The scene where his driver returns to the chateau and has to tell Ella what happened is so sad, especially when he hands her a leafy branch.

Lady Tremaine - So there are specific scenes involving this wicked woman that I will talk about separately just because they're iconic scenes. She is voiced by Eleanor Audley (fun fact: she also voiced Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty) and is played by Cate Blanchett. I don't know how old she is supposed to be, but Blanchett's Tremaine comes across much younger. She was around 45 when she filmed it and has reddish blonde hair and wears many fabulous outfits where she's always covered up, but still shows off her figure. The animated Lady Tremaine has gray hair, walks with a cane, and wears a very matronly red dress with a high ruffled purple collar. Her eyes are these really piercing green and she loves to wear jewelry to match her eyes: she has an emerald ring, emerald earrings, and an emerald brooch. The 2015 pays homage to it with Lady Tremaine wearing many outfits that have green in them. 

Obviously, we get many more scenes and more character development of the live action Tremaine. We see her take advantage of her stepdaughter's kindness when she tells her how her daughters have always shared a room, but "they're finding the sleeping quarters rather confining." (While she's talking to Ella, the two sisters are fighting with each other.) Ella, who has the biggest room aside from her father's and stepmother's, offers it up. She starts to say where she can stay, but her stepmother cuts her off and says she can stay in the attic and adds that it will only be temporarily while she has "all the other rooms redecorated" and gives her a sewing kit she can take up with her. I like that they show us how this materialized instead of her already living up in the turret like she does in the animated version.

Both Lady Tremaines care about their status, but we see it a little more in the 2015 movie as she likes to throw lavish parties. 


In the '50 film, Lady Tremaine seems to be jealous of her stepdaughter's beauty which is a little weird because Cinderella can't be any older than ten when her stepmother comes into her life. At least in the remake, we see that Lady Tremaine is jealous of Ella's relationship with her (Ella's) father and is quite aware that her new husband is still harboring feelings for his deceased wife. We see her eavesdropping on her new husband and Ella when he's telling his daughter to be good to her stepmother and sisters even though they "may be trying at times" and comments how her mother is always here, that "she's the heart of this place."

When Ella receives the news of her father's passing, Lady Tremaine is in the background, listening to the conversation and when Ella is told about her father, "To the end, he spoke only of you and your mother," she looks hurt hearing this. She announces they are ruined and questions how will they live. Because of their financial woes, she dismisses the household (they had maids, cook, and people who helped with the farm). This is how Ella morphs into their servant (and her name will morph into Cinderella), doing all their work, Lady Tremaine tells her it will help her distract from her grief. 

Anastasia and Drizella - So I have to be honest, I can never remember who is who, but Drizella (I always thought her name was Drusilla) is the older of the two with dark hair and wears green and Anastasia has red hair and wears purple. They're only probably supposed to be a few years older than Cinderella, but the way they're drawn, they look decades older. Man, they look rough!

At the end of the movie when the Grand Duke has come to their house to try the glass slipper on the sisters, I laughed at his reaction when Lady Tremaine introduces his daughters to him. He physically winces because they're so unbecoming. 
 
The live action stepsisters look much more youthful and I like that it's their personalities (and their questionable taste in fashion) that make them ugly, not their physical appearances. I feel like the 1950 movie is trying to tell people that if you're ugly on the outside, then you're a terrible person, which of course, is a horrible message. 

We get the sense that Anastasia and Drisella are silly vain girls when Ella is helping them get ready for the dance and when she asks them, What do you think he'll be like?" (referring to the Prince) and one of them (sorry, I really do not know who is who!) replies, "What does it matter what he's like? He's rich beyond reason." When Ella asks wouldn't they like to know a little about him if one of them was to marry him, the other replies, "Certainly not. It might change my mind." Ha! 

Her sisters are the ones to give Ella her new name. Ella has been sleeping by the hearth because it's too cold in the attic. Because of this, she gets soot all over her face. The sisters are making fun of her and one of them exclaims, "That's what we'll call you! Cinderella!" Her mother laughs and says, "Oh, girls, you're too clever." 

Lucifer and the mice: - Justice for Lucifer! Haha, that sounds a bit odd without any context. Lucifer is Lady Tremaine's fluffy gray mean-spirited cat and I think he gets a bad rap in the animated film. The only times I think Lucifer is a true a**hole is when he takes a swipe at Bruno, Cinderella's dog (they don't talk about Bruno in the remake because he's not in it) and when he gets in the dustpan and trots his dirty paws all over the floor Cinderella has just cleaned. However, we're supposed to think he's evil because he keeps chasing and trying to eat the mice who just so happen to be Cinderella's friends. Um, hello! He's a cat! That's his job to chase and catch mice! It's his natural instinct! Why are we trying to villainize him for that? Okay, I will admit he was being a jerk when he was trying to keep the mice from delivering the key to Cinderella. 

Cinderella's only friends are the mice who live in the chateau (and she's friendly with the birds too). She names the mice and makes clothes for them. The only mice that seem to have names are Jaq and Gus. The mice speak English, but it's hard to understand them sometimes because they speak in squeaky voices and speak in cutesy dialogue where they repeat words or have their own words for things. A part of me wonders if Cinderella is having these conversations in her head with these mice because she has nobody else to talk to (aside from her stepmother and stepsisters, but it's not like they're having conversations with her) and she's just pretending these mice are her friends and she's so far gone that she's even made outfits
for them. But this is an animated Disney Princess movie, so of course they're her friends and can communicate with her. 

There are so many antics with Lucifer and the mice, it's ridiculous! Twenty-six minutes (out of a one hour and sixteen minute movie) are dedicated to these animals. The prince is only in it for a little over three minutes! (BTW, I Googled these times!) I guess back in those days, it was easier to animate animals than humans, but still...

One of Cinderella's chores is to feed Lucifer first thing in the morning. This entails her having to open her stepmother's door (because Lucifer sleeps in her room in his own little cat canopy bed) at the crack ass of dawn and whispering to Lucifer to come downstairs so she can feed him. This is really stupid of Lady Tremaine because you would think this would wake her up. It doesn't, so she must be a heavy sleeper. Also, Lucifer is nothing like my cat because he just wants to go back to sleep and seems grumpy to be woken up. My cat is always ready for his food at five a.m. (and depending on the day, I'm not up for another one to four hours!) and makes sure I know it! 

Also, animated Lucifer totally dies. When he jumps up on the windowsill to escape from Bruno (who was kind of a dopey dog; I was kind of surprised Lucifer couldn't take him!) and ends up falling out the window from that HIGH, there's no way he would have survived. Yes, I know cats can land on their feet, but that was way too high. He's still falling as we move to the next shot, so we're never told his fate, but I believed it was not a good one. I guess he is in the direct to DVD sequel, but that came out in 2002 and I'm guessing nobody who worked on the 1950 movie worked on the sequel (or was even still alive) and I believe their intention was to kill off Lucifer. 

On the other side of the coin, Lucifer (an adorable gray Persian) is shown a few times in the 2015 movie. Lady Tremaine has him on a leash when she and her daughters move into the chateau. He snarls at the four (CGI) mice and Ella picks him up and scolds/coos at him not to bother the mice. No cat falls out of a high tower in this movie. 

Ella has known the mice since she was a young girl and believes that they can understand her. They don't speak gibberish English (or sing!) like they do in the animated version, but they do nod and seem to understand what she's saying. She also doesn't make little outfits for them...because that would be weird, even on CGI mice! 

The Prince - It probably won't shock you to know that the Prince in the remake has more screen time than the mice and cat! He even has a name and meets Ella before the ball. Hurray for character development! Ella is out riding her horse to get away from her horrible stepmother and sisters. It never occurred to me that she was able to leave her house, because she never does in the '50 film (save for the ball), but that one takes place in one day which is insane when you think about it. 

She first sees a stag and hears voices so she knows there are men nearby who are trying to hunt it. She urges it to run away. As the men grow nearer, her horse starts running really fast. A noble young man sees she's in trouble and heads after her on his horse, asking if she's all right. She is able to slow down the horse and tell him she is. Of course, this is the Prince, but she does not know this. She adds that he "nearly frightened the life out of him" and he is amused when she clarifies she's talking about the stag, telling her, "I must confess I've never met him before." They have a cute little exchange and he is totally charmed by her. He asks her, "What do they call you?" Interesting that he words it like that instead of asking what her name is as this is right after she's been dubbed Cinderella and she doesn't want to admit that to him, replying, "Never mind what they call me." He is surprised when she asks him, "What do they call you?", then realizes she truly does not know that he is the Prince. He tells her that his father (the King, heh) calls him Kit, which is true, but he is the only person who calls him that. He also tells her that he lives at the palace and his father (the King!) is "teaching [him] his trade". Ella takes that to mean he's an apprentice. He is very smitten with her and before he leaves, he tells her, "I hope to see you again."

He is played by Richard Madden, best known for playing Robb Stark in Game of Thrones, and let's just say he gets a much happier ending in this movie! 

There is a fun callback to the animated film when we see Kit having his portrait painted. In the original, we see many portraits of the Prince, each one bigger than the last. 

We don't meet the Prince until near the end of the 1950 film. (Remember, he's only in the movie for three minutes!) The stepsisters are being presented to him when Cinderella enters and he sees her and is enchanted by her beauty and walks over to her, totally dismissing Anastasia and Drizella, which was hilarious. They waltz to "So This is Love" and seem to be in love after that exchange. It seems the Prince is only interested in her for her beauty, and doesn't get to know her on a deeper level like he does in the 2015 movie. 

The King - The prince's father in both movies wants his son to marry, but for different reasons. The animated (in more ways than one!) King is discussing his son (who is out of town at the moment, I guess) with the Grand Duke, saying how "it's high time he married and settled down." He adds that he (the King) isn't getting any younger and wants to spend time with any grandchildren before he goes and that he's lonely and "wants to hear the pitter-patter of little feet again." So he's pretty much trying to marry off his son for his own selfish gain.

In the remake, the King is sick and doesn't have long to live, so he wants to ensure that his son will be set up for success and (at first) wants him to marry for advantage. But the King will have a change of heart when he realizes that his son is in love with a country girl and on his deathbed will tell him to marry for love and to "find that girl." 

The planning of the ball/the invitations - In the '50 film, the King wants to have a ball to celebrate his son's return home from wherever the hell he's been. All the eligible maidens in the kingdom will be invited and the King is certain he's "bound to show interest in one of them." Huh...was this animated Disney character from a 1950 movie the first person to come up with the idea for The Bachelor? Because isn't that what this is? The Prince will be home that day and they'll be having the ball that very night. Like, WTF? Who has an extravagant dance the same day they come up with the idea to have one? 

In the '15 film, the portrait of the Prince will be sent abroad "to induce the high and mighty to attend the ball" where he will choose a bride. By this time, he has already met Ella and wants the invitations to "go to everyone, not just nobility," so at least they address how commoners were invited to the ball. I was also under the impression the King had been thinking about having this ball for awhile and didn't just come up with it on a whim.

In the animated film, the invitation to the ball is delivered by a messenger. While Cinderella answers the door, one of her stepsisters is (awfully) playing the flute and the other is (awfully) singing "Sing Sweet Nightingale." She sees that the letter is marked "urgent" (I'll bet it's "urgent" because the ball is that night!) and there's a funny moment when she tells the mice, "Maybe I should interrupt the, uh, music lesson." You can just hear her putting quotes around "music lesson". This is one of those little moments that made this Cinderella have a bit of a personality. 

Lady Tremaine reads the invitation and she and her daughters become super excited when she reads, "by royal command, every eligible maiden is to attend." Cinderella points out she can go to because it did say "by royal command." I don't know, if I were ordered to attend a dance, I would be pretty annoyed. I feel like this should be optional. Lady Tremaine tells her, "I see no reason why you can't go if you get all your work done...and if you can find something suitable to wear." Cinderella is too happy to realize there's probably a catch and promises her stepmother that she will. After she leaves the room, Anastasia and Drizella are aghast that Cinderella could possibly attend the ball and their mother cackles and says, "I said, 'If'".   

Of course, Cinderella will be given so many chores on top of the already many chores she has to do. Jaq is indignant because he knows Cinderella won't have time to work on her dress with all the domestic work her stepmother and stepsisters are ordering her to do. Cinderella has a dress that she wants to wear to the ball that used to belong to her mother. The bodice is pink with capped sleeves with white ruffles and the skirt is white with a light pink sash around the waist and a light pink ribbon at the hem. All the female mice are there when she takes it out and shows them and one of them comments, "It's pretty, but it looks old." Heh. Who does she think she is, Tim Gunn? But as we'll see, these mice will show their dress designing skills and could be valid contestants for Project Runway! Cinderella is looking through a pattern book and decides she's going to give the dress a whole new look. She'll "have to shorten the sleeves, [she'll] need a sash, ruffles, something for the collar..." One of the mice even comments, "It'll be easy." Seriously? It's not like she's adding more ruffles, it looks like a completely different dress! Anyway, the other mice agree with Jaq and one of the female mice says they can fix the dress for her. These mice are definitely a product of the 1950s because when one of the male mice offered to sew, she tells him, "Leave the sewing to the women!" 

There's more shenanigans with the cat when Jaq and Gus see that the sisters are complaining about their "old rags" to the mother, one dropping a sash and the other dropping a necklace. The mice decide they'll be perfect for Cinderella's ball look, but Lucifer makes it difficult for them to acquire, but after ten minutes (I may be slightly exaggerating, but not by much) they finally have the items. 

We see the mice (with some help from the birds) doing all this time consuming work on the dress, which, of course, will be all for naught. Like, their hard work will be ruined in minutes by a few petty bitches. 

But before I go any further, let me go back to the live action remake. Cinderella is in town when it is announced the ball will be in two weeks (NOT that night!) and the prince will choose a bride and every eligible women is invited. Notice that nobody is commanded to go! I think it actually makes more sense how they deliver the invitations to every house in the animated film, because at least you know everyone will be getting one. Maybe the guy making the announcement is just hoping that everyone who is in the town square will past the word along. I do understand why they do it this way, though. Cinderella runs home to tell her stepmother and sisters the news. She is excited mostly because she'll see Kit the apprentice (remember, he lives at the palace!). I love Cate Blanchett's reaction. She literally jumps out of her chair (and Lucifer has to quickly hop off her lap!) and runs to her girls, telling them, "One of you must win the heart of the prince." Because they are in a lot of depth, it will help quite a great deal if they can marry into some money. She sees Cinderella is still standing there and tells her to run into town (which she literally just returned from) and ask the seamstress to make them "three fine ball gowns." Cinderella thinks she is talking about her and her stepsisters, but nope, Lady Tremaine means for herself and her daughters. Unlike in the animated movie, she never tells Cinderella she can go to the dance as long as she finishes all her chores, but she never says she can't go either. 

Like her animated counterpart, this Cinderella also has a pink dress that used to belong to her mother. She thinks if she provides her own dress, she will be able to attend the ball. She works on fixing the dress, though it doesn't go through a complete transformation like the other pink dress. Even though she's the one to mainly work on the dress, we do a get a shoutout to the original with the mice under the table rolling spools of thread or tying a ribbon to a shoe. 

Before they leave for the ball, Lady Tremaine gushes over her daughters (in their super garish dresses), saying one of them is bound to snare the prince and how happy she is she has "two horses in the race." She must be a little bit delusional if she actually thinks one of her daughter has a chance with him. Cinderella comes downstairs wearing her dress, telling them it cost nothing and she doesn't even want to meet the Prince. She wants to go to see Kit, she has no interest in the Prince! Because Lady Tremaine didn't have to pay for an extra dress and because she's taking herself off the table as an option for the Prince, she thinks they will allow her to attend the ball with them. Wrong! Her stepmother tells her she won't meet him because she's not going and that it would "be an insult to the royal personage to take [her] to the palace dresses in these old rags." After Cinderella tells her it belonged to her mother, she disparages her mother's taste in fashion and tells her the dress is "old-fashioned and practically falling apart" and reaches over and rips off one of her sleeves, then tears at the dress a couple more times. Cinderella asks, "How could you?" and she replies, "How could I otherwise? I will not have anyone associate my daughters with you...[it will] ruin their prospects to be seen arriving with a ragged servant girl. Which is what you are and what you will always be." She acts as though she is embarrassed by Cinderella, but I think she is jealous because she knows she would catch the prince's eye and she doesn't want her there as competition. 

The animated version of this scene is the same, but different. Cinderella sees that the carriage has arrived to take her stepmother and sisters to the palace. She informs Lady Tremaine of this and when her stepmother comments that she's (Cinderella) not ready, Cinderella informs her she's not going. This is because she thinks she doesn't have anything to wear because she's been too busy with chores. You know, being that the ball was THAT VERY NIGHT, I find it hard to believe she would be able to finish her dress even without all the chores. Good thing she has all her mice and bird friends. They really should be on Project Runway, seeing they finished that dress in a couple of hours! She goes back to her room and looks out the window where she can see the palace and insist to herself that the ball w
ould be "frightfully dull and boring" (and who is she kidding?) "and completely wonderful." Her mice friends surprise her with the dress and this is the cutest scene in the entire movie. I love how they're all, "Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!" in their squeaky little mice voices and Gus, being a little slow, tells her, "Happy birthday!" 

When she comes down twirling in her new dress and announcing she can attend the ball, her stepsisters aren't happy to se
e her all dressed up. Lady Tremaine notices the necklace she's wearing is the same that Drizella discarded earlier, and, knowing Drizella will get a rise out of Cinderella wearing it, comments how they give the dress a nice touch. Drizella indeed notices that it's her discarded necklace and calls her a thief. Anastasia notices she's using her sash and soon the two sisters are ripping apart Cinderella's dress. It gets way more trashed then the live action dress, which is mainly just a sleeve was torn off. 

The Fairy Godmother scene - So whenever I think of Cinderella, this is the scene that always comes to mind first. Both versions are pretty similar during this scene, with a few differences. Our protagonist in both movies runs outside, upset about what has just happened. The animated Cinderella is crying at a bench and her Fairy Godmother just materializes out of thin air. There's no explanation of who she is or how she got there and once she's talking about her magic wand, Cinderella figures out it's her Fairy Godmother. Honestly, if I were her, I'd be asking why she hasn't shown up a lot earlier!

The 2015 Fairy Godmother (played by Helena Bonham Carter) first appears as an old lady who hobbles over to her and asks her for milk which the kind Cinderella fetches for her. This seems to be a test that Ella has passed with flying colors. The old woman turns into a much younger woman with blonde hair and wearing quite the dress that even lights up. Fairy Godmothers had been established earlier in the movie when Ella's mother tells her young daughter that they are the ones "who look after us." 

Both Fairy Godmothers turn a pumpkin into a carriage and four mice into horses. In the '50 film, Bruno the dog is turned into the footman and her horse is turned into the coachman while in the '15 film, two lizards are turned into footmen and one of the many goose who live on the property is transformed into the coachman. Both girls are told they must leave before midnight because that is when the spell will be broken and everything will go back to the way it was. 

The dress and glass slippers - I figured these needed their own separate category being so iconic and all. I always thought original Disney Cinderella had a blue dress because that's the color I usually associate her with, so I was a little surprised when the Fairy Godmother transformed her tattered dress into the ball gown and it's more of a silver color. It's seemed to change into blue over the years; look at 2015 Cinderella, after all! Now that dress has to be one of the best to grace the screen in recent years. It just moves so fluidly with her and the way the skirt twirls, it just looks like so much fun. The only thing I wasn't too keen on was the little butterflies attached to the top. It just felt very early 2000s to me. Before her Fairy Godmother transforms the dress, Cinderella tells her she wants to keep it because it's her mother's and her Fairy Godmother says she'll just tweak it a little, but to me it's a completely different dress! Maybe the bodice is the same? I don't know, I'm not really fashion savvy so I can't really tell. Before she gets into the carriage, her Fairy Godmother wants to change her shoes because "they're really quite hideous" and gives her the glass slippers, telling her they're comfortable even though they're made out of freaking glass which I appreciated because wearing shoes made out of glass can NOT be comfortable. Plus, putting all your weight on glass shoes just seems like a bad idea to me! 


The ball - Before our Cinderellas arrive, the single ladies are being introduced to the Prince at the ball. In the animated film, they are coming up to him after being announced as his father and the Grand Duke are watching from a balcony. The King isn't happy because his son isn't "cooperating". He looks pretty bored and at one point, even yawns (well, I can't really blame him because he just got back that day from traveling and the ball is that night...I would be tired too!). The only moment we get a glint of personality from him is when he is introduced to Anastasia and Drizella and his reaction to them is an eye roll because they're acting like buffoons. 

In the remake, Kit is sitting in the balcony with his father, watching as all the princesses and non-royalty single ladies are being announced. The King knows his son invited the commoner because he knows Kit is trying to look for the girl he recently met. When he reminds him he's only met the girl once, Kit replies that he's supposed to marry a girl he'll be meeting for the first time tonight. His dad tells him it's different because he'll by marrying a princess. 

Just as it is announced that the Prince will choose his partner for the first dance, Cinderella enters just a few moments later and he walks towards her as she's gliding down the stairs. I think we know who he's choosing to dance with! I just loved it when she twirled in that dress; it was so hypnotic! 

Animated Cinderella immediately catches the Prince's eyes when she enters, so much so that he walks over to her, dismissing her stepsisters who are being introduced to him at the time. Cinderella definitely stand out because of her dress. For one thing, it's the only one that sparkles and it's also the only dress that doesn't have a weird part that poufs out in the back, making everyone's butt look huge. (I'm sorry, but that's how it looks!) When the King sees his son taking interest in a woman, he is beyond excited and prompts the conduct to play a waltz for them to dance to. While they dance, he decides he's going to go to bed and tells the Duke to stay where he is to make sure his son and the girl aren't disturbed and to notify him immediately when his son proposes. WTF? He's been going on all day about how he wants his son to find a wife and he's not going to stay up for the rest of the ball to make sure that happens? Also, it's just so weird and random that the King, the one who is throwing the ball, decides he's just going to go to bed while the ball is still going on. This King is really stupid, I'm sorry. Also, he thinks his son is going to propose that night? I was thinking maybe he thought his son would meet a nice girl, wine and dine her, and then propose. 

One little detail that I appreciate them addressing in the remake is the fact that Lady Tremaine and her daughters may recognize Cinderella at the ball, so the Fairy Godmother puts a spell on her ensuring she won't be recognized by them. In the '50 film, when Cinderella is dancing with the Prince, her stepmother and sisters are wondering who she is. They don't seem to recognize her. I guess since she's wearing a fancy dress and her hair is up, she looks completely different. Lady Tremaine admits, "There is something
familiar about her." Gee, lady, why don't you put two and two together? 

In the '15 movie, when they see the Prince dancing with this beautiful girl, Lady Tremaine tells her daughters, "This does not bode well" and that they "must turn the prince's head." 

Another big difference between the two movies is that in the remake, Cinderella realizes he's the Prince and he tells her he didn't tell her when they first met because he thought she might treat him differently. When they're having this discussion, they're in a room with a bunch of portraits and we see one of Kit on horse, which is a nice homage to the animated movie. They go outside and he shows her a secret garden with a swing. He tells her that he is "expected to marry for advantage" and that his father and the Duke will be choosing the princess they think is best suited for him. We, along with Lady Tremaine, learn that the prince has been promised to marry Princess Chelina of Zaragosa.

In the animated movie, Cinderella has no clue he's the Prince. When she has to run off because she hears the clock striking midnight, she tells him she has to go because she hasn't met the Prince yet. He's about to tell her he's the Prince, but she runs off. 

In both movies, our heroine runs off, leaving one glass slipper behind. In the remake, while the carriage is being turned back into a pumpkin, I like that we see her sitting inside a large pumpkin with seeds surrounding her. As she's walking home, she lets the four mice sit in the glass slipper she's carrying. Why did I find that so adorable? 

Lady Tremaine becomes suspicious - The Duke in the animated film has to inform the King "that the young lady has disappeared, leaving behind only this glass slipper." There's a funny reveal that he was talking to an empty chair and that he was practicing his speech because he knows the King will be irate. And he is. The King is dreaming of playing with his (not yet existing) grandchildren when he hears the Duke knocking on his door and thinks this must mean that his son has already proposed. His face turns beet red when he is told the girl has gotten away. He seems to calm down a bit when the Duke informs him that the Prince loves her and is determined to find her because he wants to marry her. He must have had a conversation with the Prince off screen. The fact that the Prince "loves" this girl he's just met and only danced with and barely talked to is ludicrous. Yes, I think the remake did the right thing with developing their relationship a lot more! He also tells the King about the glass slipper and the King declares that he wants him to try it on every maiden in the Kingdom "and if the shoe fits...bring her in." 

The next morning, Lady Tremaine has heard the news and urgently tells her daughters to wake up. While Cinderella is coming up with their breakfast (apparently they eat their breakfast in bed every morning), she overhears her stepmom telling Anastasia and Drizella how the Grand Duke is coming to the house because he is searching for "the girl who lost her slipper at the ball last night." Cinderella knows she is talking about her and when she hears it was the Prince she danced with last night and how he's "madly in love with her", she drops the breakfast tray. 

Anastasia and Drizella don't know why they should even bother getting up if the Prince is in love with another girl but their mothers tells them, "There's still a chance one of you can get him" and proceeds to tell them about the glass slipper and how he doesn't even know who this girl is. I mean, yeah, he doesn't know her name, but I'm sure he would recognize her and realize one of these ugly stepsisters certainly wasn't her! I guess that makes sense why he's not the one to visit the house to try the shoes on the sisters. He would take one glance at them and wouldn't even let them try on the shoe because he would know neither of them were the girl he danced with! 

Lady Tremaine is telling her stepdaughter what she needs her to do for the day and she gets suspicious when Cinderella has a lovestruck look on her face and walks away singing, "So This Is Love", the same song she danced to with the prince last night. Lady Tremaine suddenly realizes that the girl from last night was Cinderella and follows her upstairs to her room where she locks her in. 

In the 2015 version, Cinderella arrive home minutes before her stepmother and stepsisters and the sisters tell her all about the ball. They start talking about the mystery girl and Lady Tremaine becomes suspicious about how lovey-dovey her stepdaughter is acting.

We see that she has hidden the shoe in a box that she keeps under one of her floorboards. 

The next morning, a proclamation is sent out and it is announced the new King (Kit's father has passed away so he is now the King) has proclaimed his love for "the mysterious princess" who wore glass slippers and "requests that she present herself at the palace" and if she is willing, he will marry her. 

Ella is in town when this is announced (she always seems to be in the Town Square for all the announcements!) and I thought for sure she was just going to head to the Palace because surely Kit would recognize her, but instead she heads home to retrieve her glass slipper only to find it isn't in her keepsake box anymore. It's revealed that her stepmother is sitting in a corner, holding the shoe. She tells Ella about how she was once "a beautiful young girl who married for love...[and] one day, her husband, the light of her life, died." The next time she married (to Ella's father) was for the sake of her daughters, but after that man was taken from her too, she was "doomed to look every day upon his beloved child." She asks Cinderella if she stole the shoe and when Ella tells her it was given to her, she scoffs, "Nothing is ever given. For everything you must pay." Cinderella replies, "That's not true. Kindness if free. Love is free." Lady Tremaine has her own ideas of what she wants to happen. Unlike her animated counterpart, she knows there's no chance anymore with one of her daughters with the new King so she has some demands for Cinderella: "When you are married, you will make me the head of the royal household. Anastasia and Drusilla will pair off with wealthy lords." She says Cinderella will not know how to rule a kingdom and this way they will all get what they want. Cinderella tells her no dice, and is especially not happy when her stepmother says she "shall manage that boy." In retaliation, Lady Tremaine smashes the shoe against the door. When Ella asks her, "Why are you so cruel?", she replies, "Because you are young and innocent and good. And I..." she leaves and locks her in the attic. You get the idea that she was once like Ella, but then became cynical after these terrible things happened to her. 

Lady Tremaine pays a visit to the Duke to show him the remnants of the shoe, telling him that "the mystery princess is a commoner." He tells her that she's "spared the kingdom a great deal of embarrassment" and when she tells him she "would like to keep it that way," he asks if she's threatening him and she simply replies, "Yes." He agrees to her terms of her becoming a countess and "advantageous marriages for [her] two daughters." 

If the Shoe Fits - So in the remake we get a montage of the shoe touring the village and women trying it on. We even see a long line of women at the palace waiting to try on the shoe. There are some comical moments, such as one woman greasing her foot and a woman with feet that stink so bad that when she takes off her shoe, everyone around her faints. 

We don't get a scene like this in the '50 film; we're just told that all the single ladies will be trying on the shoe. The Duke and some small random dude (I didn't catch his name or title, but he's part of the royal parsonage who is there to assist the Duke, I guess) stop at the chateau so they can try the slipper on Anastasia and Drizella. While he is reading from the royal proclamation, Jaq and Gus are trying to sneak the key out of Lady Tremaine's pocket. This will involve more hi-jinx with the mice and cat which will last fifteen minutes (again, I'm exaggerating, but probably not by much). 

They manage to obtain the key and now the two mice have to lug this heavy key all the way upstairs. It seems to take them forever, but before they can get to the door, Lucifer is ready to pounce and this is the scene where he will eventually fall out the window. 

While all this was going on, the sisters are claiming the glass slipper belongs to them. Anastasia is the first to try on the slipper and she has freakishly long feet and the shoe obviously doesn't fit. The dumb little guy attempts to pound the shoe so it will fit her. Okay, A) he's going to break it because it's made of glass and 2) Does he not see how large her foot is? It's like Jeff Probst says during puzzle challenges on Survivor: "If you have to force it, it won't fit!" 

Drizella doesn't have much luck either. She tries to "make it fit", but of course that doesn't work. 

Apparently the sisters were struggling with the shoe for a long time because just as the Duke and the little man are leaving, Cinderella comes running down the stairs. Lady Tremaine is dismissive of her, but the Duke says he has orders. Remember how in the remake it was the shoe that Cinderella already had that was destroyed? Well, in this one it's the shoe that she lost and the Duke has been trying on everyone that is destroyed. When the little man is walking over to present the show on a pillow, Lady Tremaine trips him with her cane and it shatters. But it's okay because Cinderella pulls out the other shoe, because of course she had it! Her stepmother really didn't think that through, did she? The expression on her face when Cinderella pulls out the shoe is hilarious...both her eyes and mouth are wide open. But again, why is she so shocked? She already had the suspicion that Cinderella was the mystery girl and she was right. 

Cinderella will just leave without saying anything and marries the Prince.

The 2015 movie does this scene a little differently. The Grand Duke and the Captain, who is very close with the Prince-turned-King, are the ones to enter the chateau, but they have seemed to brought the whole royal entourage because outside the house is a row of horses holding uniformed guards (or something, I don't know what their title would be). Anastasia and Drisella are super excited to see them because it's "now [their] chance." Anastasia is the first to try the shoe on and she claim that "it shrunk" when it doesn't' fit her. Drisella is straining as she's trying to fit her foot into the shoe. I laughed when the Captain says, "Bad luck, miss."

They're about to leave, but Lady Tremaine isn't worried that the shoe didn't fit her daughters because she knows they're good with the deal she made with the Duke. She tells her girls, "But fate may yet be kind to us, girls."

Meanwhile, Ella is upstairs, singing, having no clue who is downstairs. The mice know because they work together to open the window so everyone downstairs can hear her singing. Of course, the Duke knows who it is and insists they leave. The Captain asks Lady Tremaine if another girl lives in the house and she assures him there is nobody else. He quips, "Perhaps your cat has learned to sing?"and she just laughs nervously. 

One of the men on one of the horses takes off his hat and it's King Kit. Both the Captain and the Duke look surprised so they must not have known he was among them. He asks the Captain to investigate and the Captain is happy to oblige. Lady Tremaine has an "oh, sh*t" look on her face because she knows she can't not take him up to the attic. When she does, she just points at Cinderella and tells him, "I told you it was no one of any importance." Cinderella gets mixed messages when the Captain tells her she is "requested and required to present [herself] to [her] King", then her stepmother tells her, "I forbid you to do this" and the Captain tells Lady Tremaine, "And I forbid you to forbid her!" When he asks her who she think she is, she gestures to Cinderella and says she is her mother. Cinderella tells her, "You have never been and you never will be my mother." I like that this Cinderella gets to tell off her stepmother.

Kit is waiting downstairs with the shoe in his hand and he recognizes her when he sees her and when he asks who she is, she replies, "I am Cinderella," calling herself by that name for the first time.  

Before she leaves,  being the kind and courageous person she is, she tells her stepmother, who is coming down the stairs, "I forgive you." It also shows us that Cinderella is the bigger person.

The movie ends with Cinderella and Kit's wedding and the whole kingdom below them is cheering as they share a kiss on a balcony overlooking their people. We are told that her stepmother and sisters left with the Duke. I'm not sure if this was voluntary or forced! I do wish we had seen her mice friends at the wedding, I thought that would have been a cute touch. After all I assume (in both versions!) that the mice moved to the palace with there. The mice in the animated movie are so talented, that they can make all her gowns! 

As much as I prefer the remake (and even though I haven't seen all the live action remakes, I feel pretty confident saying it's probably theist) to the animated film, you have to give the 1950 film some credit. They didn't have many well-known movies in the '40s, mostly due to the war and when this one came along in 1950 it jump-started their beloved animated movies again and it was a huge box off success, being the fifth highest grossing movie of 1950. Also, Cinderella is just iconic. It's her castle that you see at Disney World and her story has been told countless times. 

I found this print advertisement for the 1950 movie on its Wikipedia page. I just found this really fascinating because I've never seen so many words on a movie poster! Usually they just have the title, the big name actors, the date it will be released, and a tag line to give you an idea of the movie. Walt really wanted the people to see this movie and was selling it big time. "6 years in the making making!" "Even the birds will be singing!" (That one made me laugh because bird seem like the most obvious ones to sing!) "...ready to thrill the world as no picture ever has!" It's a good thing this movie was so successful otherwise this poster would've looked embarrassing in hindsight! 




Tuesday, May 20, 2025

An Incredibly Bad Sequel

Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco
Director: David R. Willis
Voice Talent: Michael J. Fox, Sally Field, Ralph Waite, Sinbad, Carla Gugino, Stephen Tobolowsky
Released: March 8, 1996


Without a SHADOW of a doubt, the first movie is so much better. There is no CHANCE that anyone would like the sequel better. If you like this movie better, you're barking up the wrong tree. You may think I'm being SASSY, but it's the truth! Ha, see what I did there?

Back in 2016, I reviewed Homeward Bound, a movie from my childhood that I have very fond memories of. After all, I was a young redhead with my own Himalayan cat! Three years after that movie came out, a sequel was made, and, well, it's not very good. In fact, it's pretty bad. Infuriating, really. Yes, this movie made me so mad, and, oh, trust me, I'll get into the many reasons of why it irked me so much. The first reason is because it was unnecessary. There was absolutely no need for a sequel, but I guess since the first one was so beloved and money talks, they made a sequel.

Let's get reacquainted with everyone, shall we? The Burnford/Seaver family is now living in San Francisco (remember, they moved there in the first movie). Bob married Laura and became the stepfather of Peter, Hope, and Jamie. In my review of the first movie, I made a comment that "I got the sense" that Jamie was Peter's biological son. I rewatched the Homeward Bound and I'm not sure why I ever thought that! In fact, Chance tells us that Jamie is Laura's little boy. 

All the kids each have their own pet: Chance (voiced by Michael J. Fox), the rambuctious American bulldog belongs to Jamie (who is maybe 7 or 8?; I'm really bad at trying to guess ages). Sassy (voiced by Sally Field), the Himalayan cat (and who lives up to her name!) belongs to Hope (who is 12/13?) and Shadow, the loyal and old golden retriever, belong to Peter (who is 15/16?). In the first movie, Shadow was voiced by Don Ameche, in one of his last roles. In this movie, Shadow is voiced by Ralph Waite. I think his voice work was fine, but he's no Don Ameche! Also, they kept saying how old Shadow was in the first movie and I'm assuming the sequel takes place in real time, so three years have passed, so how old is he here? 

So in this movie, they need to have the pets be separated from the family and try to find their way back. The movie, after all, is called Homeward Bound. I can only imagine that the writers were racking their brains trying to think of how to make that happen. Let me explain what they came up with, then I'll add my own comments and why I think it's stupid:

The family is flying to Canada to go camping and they're bringing the three pets.

Okay, now for my commentary (which will be a lot longer!): First of all, we are never told where in Canada they're going, we just hear they're going to Canada which is hilarious. Like, are they going all the way to Quebec from San Francisco? I'm guessing they went somewhere in British Colombia. I suppose they're going camping because it would make more sense to take the dogs with them. Dogs, not their cat. Why are they bringing Sassy? That seems just like a terrible idea. There's a reason when you go camping or visit National Parks you see dogs, but not cats. I understand they need her for part of the plot, just as I understand they have the family visit Canada be part of the plot because they need to fly to their destination. But this is another part of the problem I have. This family is going camping with their pets, right? They live in San Francisco. California is full of National and State Parks. Just drive to one of those, especially if you want to take your pets with you. This family is so stupid. 

But before we head to the airport to head to Canada, let's set up some key elements for the plot. Chance wants to play with Jamie, but Jamie can't play because he has baseball practice so Chance just follows him to the field. Some of the other kids' dogs are there too and those dogs can also talk. There are three dogs who are doing commentary for the game: Sparky Michael the Collie (voiced by Al Michaels), Lucky Lasorda the Havanese (voiced by Tommy Lasardo) and Trixie Uecker the German Shepard (voiced by Bob Uecker). Now I knew who Bob Uecker was because I know he was a sports broadcaster and played one in the Major League movies. I looked up the other two Al Michaels is a sports commentator (he's 80 years old and still doing it!) and Tommy Lasordo was a baseball player, coach, and manager of the L.A. Dodgers from 1967 -1996. Thank God for Wikipedia, am a I right? This scene should have been a warning that there would be more talking dogs to come. Be afraid, be very afraid. 

After a kid hits the ball, Chance bounds after it and grabs it, wanting to play fetch. After the kids chase him, Jamie scolds him and a girl on the opposing team scolds Jamie and tells him to keep his dumb dog off the field. Like, let's chill out, girl. Jamie isn't happy about the camping trip because he's going to miss the two most important games. Boo hoo, you're only seven years old, get over it. And, to give him credit, he does. We never hear about baseball for the rest of the movie. 

So now we're at the airport and the three pets are in their kennels, headed to be shipped on the airplane. This is something I wouldn't feel comfortable with: putting my pet on an airplane, ESPECIALLY for a one-week vacation (we're never told how long they're going to be gone, so I'm just guessing). Because Jamie has been dismissive of Chance lately, Chance is sure that they're going back to "the bad place" (is he forking crazy?) and is frantically trying to escape. He is jerking so much all over the place that his kennel drops off the conveyer belt and he is able to get out. Shadow tells Sassy they need to escape too. We see Sassy put her paw through the cage and unlatch the door while saying, "Honestly does the cat always have to be the brains of the operations?" (Luckily, my cat was asleep on the couch next to me so he didn't get any tutorial on how to escape a kennel!)

This scene gives me so much anxiety because there are three animals just running around outside at an airport, near the runways! It feels like quite a few minutes pass before an employee sees them and he shouts for someone to call security. The pets enter back through the airport through the conveyer belt where the family had checked in. It's so hilarious and so dumb that there are people everyone and they're just staring at the animals. Nobody even says anything or has much of a reaction. The pets return to the tarmac and come to the conclusion that the family must be on one of the many planes and Shadow is certain that Peter is "on that one" and they decide to sit right in the middle of the plane's path because Shadow is certain that "they'll be sure to see [them]." I guess he thinks the plane will just stop? Now, we know Shadow was an old dog in the first movie, so he must be downright senile. The Shadow from the first movie would know that was a stupid and dangerous idea. Sassy seems to be the only who is uncertain about this idea. When Shadow tells her, "Don't worry", she replies, "I'm worried." Sassy is so my spirit animal! Well, of course the plane doesn't stop and it flies into the sky, seemingly to just barely miss the animals. We get a shot of Chance who is laying down with his paws over his head. This will come back later in the movie. While all this was going on, security must have been called because we see people getting out of cars and trying to catch the pets, but they manage to escape. 

When the family arrives in...Canada, they learn the bad news that the airport lost their pets. You know the dad is thinking, Oh, God, not this again! Peter wants to go back, but Bob tells him he'll fly back in the morning so the kids can still go camping with their mom. The two older kids aren't having it and want to go back to find their pets. I can't blame them; if I were in their situation, I wouldn't have any fun if I knew my pet was missing. I'd just be worrying too much! 

The first night, the pets find a large box in an alley to sleep in. The next morning they're ready to begin their trek home. Shadow knows that if they cross "a golden bridge", then they'll be o the right track. I kind of scoffed when he said that because all they have to do is cross the Golden Gate Bridge? In the first movie, they had to cross a mountain range! (Well, maybe it was only one mountain...but still.) The stakes were so much higher in the first movie. This just seems like child's play. (Dogs' play? Cats' play? Pets' play?) 

We first get our glimpse of the "villains" of the movie: two dog-nappers in a red van stop when they see a poodle who is tied to a fire hydrant while her owner (we know she's a girl because she is voiced by a woman with a (presumably fake, excuse-moi, faux) French accent) is inside a convenience store. One of them grabs her, but the man comes out of the store and sees the guy holding his dog. The dog-napper tells the poodle's owner that he ought to be ashamed of himself because doesn't he know "there are scoundrels out here just wanting to steal a beautiful dog like this?" When he gets back inside the van, dogs are barking from the back. Obviously they are modeling these two (whose names are Jack and Ralph; I had to look that up on Wikipedia) after Jasper and Horace

The pets (who didn't encounter what happened with the poodle) are getting hungry, especially Sassy. She sees a house with a young boy who is holding a teeny tiny little bitty kitty. She declares, "Where there's a cat, there's cat food." That made me think of that Ralph Wiggum quote, "My cat's breath smells like cat food." That always makes me laugh because it's true! Sassy goes up to the kid who starts petting her and says, "Yes, isn't my fur long and silky?" Chance decide he's going to try to get some chow (hey, in the first movie he ate cat food!) and bounds over to the kid who becomes frightened and quickly gets up. His mom comes out and tells Chance to go away. I admit I did laugh Chance says, "Meow, I'm a cat." 

While continuing their journey, Chance (literally) runs into a boxer who calls him a punk and tells him to watch it. A bullmastiff comes around the corner and asks what's all the commotion. They are Ashcan and Pete and they're the troublemaking dogs. I'm not really sure why they're in this movie because we already have the antagonists with the dog-nappers. Much like this movie, they're just unnecessary. 

After one of the dog threatens to have Sassy for lunch (though she did start it by claiming they came from Planet Stupid), Shadow tells her to run (she just jumps up on something high) and he and one of the other dogs "fight", but clearly they're just playing. Chase runs off, saying he's going to find help.

Even more dogs appear and one of them starts fighting with Ashcan and tells him to stay off his turf. The two scoundrel dogs run away. Riley is the leader of the dog gang (lol, I can't believe I just typed that). He's voiced by Sinbad and according to Wikipedia, he's a Labrador-mix. I thought Delilah, the dog voiced by Carla Gugino, was a lab, but she's a Kuvasz, a breed I'm not familiar with. Other dogs in Riley's gang include Bando, the Bluetick Coonhound (I'm sorry, but I have no clue if/when dogs breeds are supposed to be capitalized or not) voiced by Stephen Tobolowsky and Sledge, a shetland-collie mix voiced by Tisha Campbell. There's also a couple other dogs. There's so many talking dogs in this movie! It just makes it so much more cartoony than the first one. 

But wait! It gets worse! After Shadow realizes that Chase ran off, Delilah offers to find him. Already I can get a whiff that a love story between these two dogs is probably going to happen. And once she's chasing after him and comments, "cute butt" (which made me groan), I knew for sure we were in for a flirtation between the two dogs. Do we really need a love story between two dogs? I can watch Lady and the Tramp for that! 

Meanwhile, the other dogs with Shadow and Sassy see the red van coming by and hide because they know what's up. Riley tells Shadow that any dogs that are snatched will be taken to a place called "the lab". Is this plotline recycled from Beethoven?

When Shadow asks about the bridge, Riley tells them it's impossible to cross and questions why they are going back home because their humans don't want them anyway. I'm not sure why he's assuming this, but he sounds super bitter so I'm guessing there's a Lotso situation with Riley where he was once loved, then rejected by a family?

We-ell, I was sort of right. Delilah tells Chance about Riley's backstory. They're at a park having a doggie date, I guess, and Chance mentions Jamie and how he's his "human." Delilah says that Riley told her dogs shouldn't trust humans "no matter how friendly they seem."

So let me tell you about Riley's backstory, then I'll comment on it. There'll be lots to comment on because it's so f**ked up! 

Delilah begins, "When Riley was a puppy, he thought he found a home with humans." We see it's Christmas morning and under the tree, Riley, as a puppy with a red ribbon tied around his neck, is sitting in a basket. A young boy comes down with his parents and he just totally ignores the dog and starts opening the presents and playing with his new toys. Later that day (it's dark by this time), they "drove into the city and left Riley in the gutter on the coldest, rainiest night of the year." We see the puppy (still wearing the bow) in a cardboard box on the side of the road getting drenched by the rain. Delilah concludes with, "So Riley found other abandoned dogs and he made a home for them to protect them from all humans." (BTW, I love how most of these "abandoned dogs" seem to be purebreds!)

Dear Lord, this is worse than Lotso's situation! At least the little girl loved Lotso! He was just unfortunately replaced when he was left behind at the park. Plus, you know, he was a stuffed animal and not a REAL animal! (Yeah, yeah, I know he was sentient, but the humans didn't know that!) Now, if you remember (from one paragraph ago) my prediction about what happened to Riley before becoming a street dog: 

I'm guessing there's a Lotso situation with Riley where he was once loved, then rejected by a family?

Uh, he wasn't even loved! He was rejected the same day he was given to the boy. Why did his parents give him a puppy when it was clear he absolutely had no interest. Also, I'm giving major side eye to this kid. What kind of child wouldn't go crazy seeing an adorable little animal under the tree? He's probably going to end up to be a psychopath. I don't know where they got the puppy from, whether an animal shelter or a pet shop, but couldn't they just return him instead of leaving him on the side of the road in the rain? These people suck. They are the real villains! But this whole story of Riley's distrust and dislike of humans is just so ridiculous and doesn't ring true. They just need to give him a reason why he doesn't like humans. Riley even uses the word "pet" as a derogatory term. 

Chance puts two and two together and thinks that since Riley was abandoned because the kid didn't want to play with him, the Burnfords/Seavers are going to get rid of him since Jamie doesn't seem to want to play with him anymore. Eh, I'm going to Jamie some leeway here because he was busy with baseball and the kid shouldn't have to play with his dog all the time. He might have been annoyed with Chance at the beginning of the movie, but he still loves his dog. Chance (and Shadow and Sassy) have been nothing but loved by the Burnford/Seaver family. Chance is jumping to some ridiculous conclusions. Delilah tells him she was never a pet, that she was born a stray. 

Chance and Delilah continue their "doggie date" by trying to get food from humans at a fair, going to the pier with all the seals, and ending the day on top of a hill overlooking the city with Chance telling her this might be the greatest day of his life. Ouch, don't let Jamie know he thought that! I'm genuinely surprised we didn't see the two love dogs sharing a plate of spaghetti Lady and the Tramp-style. This is a Disney movie, after all! 

So while the two love dogs seem to be having their own (all day) doggie date, Shadow, Sassy, Riley, and the other dogs come across a house that is ablaze in flames. It is the same house with the little boy and itty bitty kitty. So basically the pets have not made any progress. Why is their house on fire, you ask? Well, just minutes before, those doggone dog nappers had stopped at the corner where the house is located and one of them threw his cigar out the window and it landed in a bush near the house which caused the flames. By the time the animals get there, the firemen are there. The little boy, Tucker, is still inside, so Shadow goes in to rescue him. Tucker is crying because his little itty bitty kitty, Tiger, is still in there, but don't worry, Sassy has rescued Tiger.

This kind of reminded me when the little girl is lost in the woods in the first movie, but only in the sense that the animals are helping a human child. At least there's payoff in the first movie as the search party recognizes the animals from a poster they've seen and call the family to let them know they found their pets. There's no payoff with this scene; the kid just pets Sassy and Shadow and thanks them. I did chuckle when Sassy is all indignant because she only gets a pat and doesn't get a treat. There was really no reason for this scene to be in the movie. I guess they wanted to remind us that Shadow and Sassy are heroes. Or maybe they needed something for this to do since the whole plotline seems to revolve around Chance meeting a new girlfriend. 

When the dogs (and Sassy) return to Riley's hideout, an abandoned house, they all find Chance and Delilah huddled together. One of the dogs starts taunting them by singing, "Chance and Delilah sniffing at a tree..." Yeah, I groaned at this. Another female dog even praises Delilah, telling her that Chance "looks like he's got it going on." Like, WTF am I watching? 

Now we're starting to learn the weird social dynamics of this dog gang. In an earlier scene we learned that Bando (the coonhound) has a crush on Delilah and he's clearly jealous of Chance. When he asks Delilah what about them (meaning him and her), he tells her they're just friends. Haha, that dog just got friend zoned. Also, this movie is so incredibly bad. One of the other dogs tells him "you ain't nothing but a hound dog." Gee, I wonder why they cast that particular type of dog in this role? 

Riley isn't happy that Delilah is fraternizing with a dog who is a pet. Delilah tells him she doesn't have to take it so she and Chance leave. I don't know what Riley's problem is. He knows that Chance is trying to get home with the other pets, so it's not like he's going to stay around. Or maybe not because while Chance is romping around, Shadow goes up to Delilah and tells him that she needs to let Chance go and that he can't survive the city. Delilah tells him that she can take care of him. I don't mean to be rude, but what a bitch! I guess Delilah convinced Chance to stay with her and the other stray dogs? Chance would be an idiot if he did that.

We get an update from the family: they're stuck at the airport because of the weather. Did they not look at the weather report before choosing this week to go camping? Sounds like they picked a terrible time to go, weather-wise! 

Here comes the red van! All the dogs except Chance, who is rummaging though a trash bag, run back to hide in the abandoned house. Chance must have some hearing problems because the two dognappers are right behind him and he has no idea. This so-called hearing problem will also be an issue in an upcoming scene. The dog nappers manage to capture him by tricking him with a cheeseburger and throw him in the back of the van.  

The dogs find the van and distract the driver while Sassy pulls her magic and unlocks the door for Chase and the other dogs in the van to escape. The crazy thing is the dog nappers are upset because all those dogs are worth $100. Like, does he mean they're worth $100 a piece, or worth $100 all together? I'm gathering it's the latter. They're going through all that trouble for just a measly $100? Even in 1996, that wasn't that much! 

The dognappers are chased away and their van ends up in the bay. After all that commotion, Delilah tells Chance that he doesn't belong here. This upsets him and he runs off, narrating that he's sad and "it was like getting a bath, missing dinner, and going to the vet, all rolled into one."

It's now time for Riley to take the pets to the bridge (what took him so long in the first place?) and Sassy is in a good mood, singing a song to the tune of Home on the Range: "Home, home, in the 'burbs, where the cat and the squeak toy can play. Where no traffic is heard and I can maul birds and sleep in the sunshine all day."  This is one of the few things that made me laugh in this movie. Shadow isn't quite as chipper because he feels bad that Chance isn't with them. I laughed when he tells Sassy that they can't leave Chance behind because "home just won't be the same" and Sassy replies, "Exactly." Ha! Sassy is easily the best character in this movie. They should have just made the sequel be of her getting left alone at home (with a trusted neighbor to take care of her, of course!) after the family goes camping with the two dogs. We could just follow her hijinx while the family is away. I bet you that would have been a much better movie than this! Hmm, it could be like Home Alone....but with a cat! 

She does agree with Shadow that they need to go back to look for Chance. Now here comes Ashcan and Pete, two characters we absolutely did not need. They're just here to cause problems so Chance can save the day and put them in their place. Now the three pets are together and can walk across the bridge and head home. 

Meanwhile, the Burnfords/ Seavers must have made it back to San Fransisco because they're all in the car with the kids urging their dad to drive faster because they're all so sure that the pets will be at home. This made me laugh. I guess because the animals found their way home once before, they think they'll be able to do it again. 

Remember in the first movie when we get an emotional (and ICONIC) scene when the animals return home and are reunited with their humans? Yeah, not so much in this movie. They TRY to make it emotional, but they weren't fooling me. The pets have to cross a winding road (which isn't particularly busy) to get home. Shadow and Sassy cross it. Chance decides he's going to sit in the middle of the road and forlornly look back at the San Fransisco skyline, thinking of how much he's going to miss Delilah. Sassy and Shadow can hear a large vehicle approaching (a semi, in fact), but not Chance! This dog must be going deaf if he can't hear a semi approaching! But guess who happens to be behind the semi? Why it's the Burnford/Seaver family! They're on a winding road and Bob is trying to pass the truck while going around a bend. WTF? I don't care if your seven-year-old son is telling you to hurry, no need to get everyone killed! The truck driver sees a dog sitting in the middle of the road and steps on his brakes to avoid the animal and Bob has to steps on his brakes. They're wondering what's going on when the two older kids look out the window and see Shadow and Sassy trotting towards their car. 

Bob realizes that the reason the truck stopped so suddenly was because there was another animal in the road. We're supposed to think Chance was hit, but I knew the movie wouldn't go there. In fact, I was expecting him to be thrown off the road with maybe a broken leg, but no, he's found under the the truck, untouched, with his paws over his head, just like in the earlier scene when the plane flew over them. The whole scene was just so cartoonish. 

Also, you think that now the pets have been reunited with the family, the movie is over, right? No, we still have to clear up the Delilah story. UGH. So once they're home, the family and pets are outside in the backyard, getting ready for a picnic. There is one really funny scene where Sassy hops up on the table and Hope picks her up and puts her on the ground and says, "Sassy, not on the table" and Sassy replies, "Well, I guess the honeymoon's over, huh?" Sassy: truly this movie's MVP. 

So even though Chance is back at home and even though Jamie is giving him lots of attention, he's feeling depressed because he misses his girlfriend. UGH. He hears barking and perks up, thinking it's Delilah. Well, it's just a dog following a kid on a bike. (Like, the only dog to not talk in this movie.) But then a few moments later, he hears more barking and it's f**king Delilah. When he asks how she found him, she replies, "I followed my nose, Chance, and my heart." I groaned because after she said "I followed my nose", I knew she was immediately going to follow it with the corny "and my heart" line. But even weirder, she tells him in a throaty whisper, "Chance, you're my man." It's just so, eww. Also, he's a f**king dog, not a man. This happens earlier in the movie when Riley refers to Delilah as a woman She's a f**king dog, not a woman. Anyway, the two love dogs start frolicking in the yard and claim their love for each other. I really, really hated this stupid love story.

The family realizes that Chance must have met her while the pets were separated from them. All the kids want to keep her and of course their dad agrees because he's a pushover. He should have told them he was going to take her to the Humane Society and we would get a little blurb at the end that Delilah was adopted by a nice family and lived a wonderful life, but no, they're going to add another pet to the family. I really hope they spade and neuter their pets! Chance is so happy that he leaps into the air twice. It's a pretty good trick they trained the dog to do, but it's so corny. 

The family must have been waiting for pizza for their picnic because the movie ends with the pizza guy arriving and Chance excitedly jumps up around him. The pizza ends up flying out of its box and lands on the grass with Chance eating at least a third of it. That would've ticked me off so much. 

This movie is terrible and unnecessary. There were absolutely no stakes. In the first movie, the pets had to deal with the elements and wildlife, in this movie they have to force conflict because there isn't any. I don't know how long exactly the pets were gone in the first movie, but I'm guessing at least one week, if not longer. In this movie, it had to be no more than two days. They just have to find their way back the airport and probably would have gotten home a lot faster if they hadn't been diddy-daddlying with the dog gang they met.

Just look at the poster for the first movie vs this one. Just looking at the two different posters, you can tell the stakes are way higher in the first movie:

Skip this one and watch the first movie, which is a remake of the 1963 movie, The Incredible Journey, which is based on the 1961 book of the same name by Sheila Burnford. I've never seen the original movie (or read the book) but I found out that the animals don't talk and my first thought was, What kind of nonsense is that? when I realized, Oh, yeah....Maybe I'll check it out sometime. I'm sure it will be better than the dreck I just watched, but no way I like it better than the 1993 movie I grew up with!