What would Brian Boitano do?

South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut

Director: Trey Parker

Cast: Kyle Broflowski, Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Kenny McCormick

Released: 6/30/99

Viewed in theaters: 7/9/99

Oscar nominations:

Best Original Song - "Blame Canada" (lost to "You'll Be in My Heart" from Tarzan)

What do you get when you put four foul-mouthed young boys who are trying to save their Canadian idols Terrance and Phillip from being executed, the United States and Canada at war with each other, and Satan and Saddam Hussein (who voices himself according to the credits!) as lovers rising from Hell to take over the world? Just possibly one of the funniest movies and one of the best musicals (yes, it's also a musical!) you will ever see.

You know, South Park has been on so long (they recently had their 200th episode during their 14th season), that it's almost weird to think the movie came out only after two and a half seasons. And what made me really notice how old the movie is was when they announced a special announcement from the POTUS and it was Bill Clinton telling his fellow Americans that the U.S. was now at war with Canada after they had bombed the Baldwins! It's been awhile since I've seen any of the earlier episodes, so I can't remember if the boys were cussing like Russell Crowe on any given day of the week like they do now or if the R-rated Canadian foreign film Asses of Fire was their first introduction to the f-bomb. Or perhaps continuity doesn't really matter in a cartoon.

The best part about the SP movie is that it's a satire of itself. The film starts off with the four main characters (and the adorable Ike - seriously, how can an animated kid with an egg-shaped flapping head and two beady eyes be so gosh darn cute? "Ky-wul! Ice cweem! Choc-wet!" Awww!) going to see T&P's flick, but since it's been rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America, they have to bribe a homeless man to pretend to be their guardian. Of course with lines like, "Terrance, you're a pig %!#*er!" and the oh-so-catchy song, "Shut Your #*%(ing Face, Uncle #*(!a!" ("You're an uncle #*!#er I must say! Well, you #(%*ed your uncle yesterday!") the boys come out of the theater swearing left and right. Now I'm sure when this movie came out, there were probably some dumb parents out there who thought it was all right to take their kids to see it since it was a cartoon and didn't notice it was Rated R. (Hey, there are a lot of stupid people out there!) and I'm sure those people left the theater just as the residents of South Park left during Asses of Fire.

Kyle's mom is outraged when she finds out the movie is the source of the boys' foul language (just as I'm sure many parents were outraged by this movie!) and blames Canada for releasing the movie and has Terrence and Phillip arrested when they appear on Late Night with Conan O'Brien. Oh, and can I just say I love how you can differentiate the Canadians from the Americans with their flapping heads and beady eyes and the way they say "aboot!" Actually, the way the show makes fun of Canada is always hilarious - "You're watching the Canadian channel - the only channel in Canada!" or "There's only one road in Canada!" Or how about when Ike's Canadian birthparents gave him up because they couldn't handle the Cola Wars? LMAO!

Meanwhile, in typical South Park fashion, Kenny dies after a George Clooney-voiced doctor tells him, "Son, we've got some bad news for you. We accidentally replaced your heart with a baked potato and you have three seconds to live." Poor Kenny ends up in Hell where Saddam Hussein has taken residence after he was attacked by a pack of wild dogs. Saddam and Satan are lovers, but while Satan is the sensitive one and wants to have heartfelt chats, all Saddam cares about is sex. It's pretty funny (and surprising!) when you feel sorry for the devil. All he wants to do is visit the world "up there where babies burp and flowers bloom."

Like I've mentioned before, I haven't seen the earlier episodes in a very long time, but I think the movie is the first (and probably only) time we ever see Kenny's face and hear him unmuffled when he says, "Goodbye, you guys." (My friends and I "awwwed" at that scene!) Oh, and I did some research (on Wikipedia) and had no idea Kyle had a curly red 'fro. Hmm, a redhead and a Jew! No wonder Cartman hates Kyle so much! It's always so weird when they show the boys without their hats (well, except Cartman).

I've already mentioned this is a musical and the songs (though dirty) are quite catchy! "Blame Canada" was nominated for an Oscar, but I think it should have been "What Would Brian Boitano Do?" just because it's my favorite. ("What would Brian Boitano do if he were here today? I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two, that's what Brian Boitano do!") My other favorite songs include "Mountain Town" (which is ripped off from the song Belle sings in Beauty and the Beast; I love it!) ("Thank God we live in a quiet, little, redneck, podunk, white-trash, kick-ass USA!"): "Uncle F*#%a"; "It's Easy, Mmmkay" ("You don't have to spend your life addicted to smack; homeless on the street giving handjobs for crack!"); "Up There" (which is ripped off from the song Ariel sings in The Little Mermaid); "Blame Canada" ("It seems that everything's gone wrong since Canada came along - they're not even a real country anyway!"); "I'm Super, Thanks for Asking" ("Bombs are flying, people are dying, babies are crying, politicians are lying too. Cancer is killing, Texaco's spilling, the whole world's gone to hell, but how are you? I'm SUPER! Thanks for asking!"); and "La Resistance" ("You see the distance flames; they bellow in the night. You fight in all your names for what we know is right.")

I share my viewing experience of seeing South Park at the theaters:

This movie came out two years before they started giving out Oscars for animated films and while I doubt it would have won had they started giving them out in 2000, do you think it would have been nominated? Toy Story 2 and Tarzan would have been nominated for sure, but would South Park made the third spot? That would have been sweet - super sweet!

I absolutely love this movie, but you have to have the right kind of sense of humor to like it because they make fun of everybody. I would recommend it to anyone who is a fan of the show, but please, if you're a kid or you have a kid or know a kid, don't let them see this movie because it is definitely not appropriate for kids! Hehe, I read somewhere that it has the most cussing in an animated movie. Well, DUH! LOVE this movie! One of my ten favorites from 1999.