Saturday, October 30, 2021

Witchy Women

Hocus Pocus
Director: Kenny Ortega
Cast: Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Najimy, Thora Birch, Omri Katz, Vinessa Shaw
Released: July 16, 1993 


Can you believe this is the first time I've ever seen this movie? Yes, I'm shocked too, especially since I would have been in the right age demographic when this came out - I was right between the ages of the brother and sister characters. I never knew what this movie was about, really. Obviously, I knew Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Kathy Najimy play witches. I didn't know Thora Birch and Vinessa Shaw were in this until the last year, probably! I didn't even know who Vinessa Shaw was until I reviewed the terrible movie Ladybugs earlier this year (and yes, the spelling of her name still bugs me!) 

I made a prediction that this movie would either be about three bad witches who learn a lesson and end up turning into good witches or that they would start off as good, but were misunderstood by the townspeople, and the townspeople would learn a lesson about treating people poorly who are different than them. Yeah, nope, neither of those predictions were correct. They are straight up bad witches...who stay bad during the course of the film! 

The movie begins in 1693 Salem (but of course; where else would a trio of witch sisters live?) where we are introduced to the Sanderson sisters: there's the eldest sister, the buck-toothed Winifred aka Winnie (Midler) who is the clear ringleader of the group and wears green; Mary (Najimy), who talks out of the side of her mouth (now that's a talent!), and has a knack for smelling children and wears red; and Sarah (Parker), who is the ditzy blonde who likes the male attention and wears purple. Everyone is great in their role and Najimy and Parker give great comedic physical performances. Midler shows us she's a true National Treasure by really sinking her teeth into this meaty role (and wearing those prosthetic front teeth could not have been pleasant or easy to talk with!) and she recites her lines in the most over the top way with lots of trills and an exaggerated cadence. 

A boy named Thackery Binx, no older than fifteen, finds his younger sister, Emily, missing. He realizes the Sanderson sisters have taken her and spies her sitting inside their home. This girl does not seem to be very scared or even concerned that three witches have captured her and are about to kill her, but maybe they put a trance on her so that's why she looks so blasé about the whole thing. Yeah, that's what I'm going with. 

Thackery is watching the witches brew a potion in their cauldron from upstairs. He has snuck in by climbing a water wheel from outside. I laughed when Winnie says they need a dead man's toe and tells Sarah to get one "and make it a fresh one." They have a bowl full of toes (ewww), but I don't exactly know how "fresh" they all are! They are brewing a potion they will feed to Emily who will then emit a life force they will be able to suck from her, which will make them all young. Winnie says "One drop of this and her life will be mine - I mean, ours." Clearly she is only looking out for numero uno.

Right when the witches give Emily the potion Thackery tries to thwart them and tips over the cauldron. He's about to save Emily (who still doesn't seem to be in any hurry to escape; so she MUST have been bewitched), but Winnie knocks him out with her magic. The witches notice the spell has worked and Winnie must have been feeling generous because she joins hands with her sisters so they can all suck the life out of Emily. 

The sisters suddenly become youthful looking (in other words, the old age make up that was on the three actresses is no longer applied on them) and Sarah exclaims, "We're young!" I laughed when Winnie looks at herself in a mirror and replies, "Well...younger. But it's a start!" I wouldn't be surprised if Bette Midler ad-libbed that line since she's twelve years older than Kathy Najimy and twenty years older than SJP. 

Elatedly, Winnie tells them they will be young and beautiful forever and has plans to brew more of the potion and pretty much suck the life out of every child in Salem. By this time, Thackery has woken up to see what they have done to his sister and when the witches want to brew another batch with him in mind, he tells them there's not enough children in Salem to make them young and beautiful and calls them all hags. Winnie says, "Sisters! Did you hear what he called you?" I just love how she's like, I certainly wasn't who he was talking about! 

For that remark, they decide they need to find the worst punishment for him and Winnie opens her spell book (a gift from Satan, which has an eye that opens and closes on the cover, but that's not even the creepiest thing about the book; no the creepiest thing is that the book is made of human skin!) Winnie declares, "His punishment shall not be to die...but to live forever with his guilt!" The witches recite a spell that turns him into a black cat.

The townspeople come banging at the door and the next scene is the three sisters about to be hanged. (I guess they found Emily's lifeless body in their cottage). Thackery's father asks Winnie what she has done with his son.  She tells him, "I don't know...cat's got my tongue!" All the sisters start laughing and I start laughing too. 

We get a bit of foreshadowing when the spell book drops to the ground and opens up to a page entitled "Spells to Resurrect the Dead" and there's one called "Black Flame Candle Spell." This will come back later. The witches will be able to come back from the dead if the black flame candle is lit by a virgin on Halloween. The witches are hanged (we see a nice shot of Winnie's green and black striped stockings...very Wicked Witch of the West) and the townspeople head home. It's very sad because Thackery, as a cat, tries to get his father's attention by meowing and rubbing against his leg but his father just kicks the poor cat away and tells him, "Away, beast!" DUDE. You just hanged three witches, your son is missing, and this black cat (totally synonymous with witches) is trying to get your attention. Put the pieces together, dude!


The movie transfers to "present day" 1993 (that's 300 years later if you're keeping count) to a high school class in Salem (still Massachusetts; not the capital of Oregon!) where a teacher has been telling the story of the Sanderson sisters to her class. She adds that some people believe on Halloween, a black cat stands guard at the Sanderson house, "warning off any who might make the witches come back to life." Everyone in this class is totally into this story and believes the legend of the Sanderson sisters. Everyone that is, except a kid named Max Dennison (Omri Katz), about fourteen or fifteen and who has recently moved to Salem from L.A. and he hates his new home. Everyone boos him when he tells them he doesn't believe in this malarky (excuse me, hocus pocus!) and tells them Halloween was invented by the candy corporations. The girl he has a crush on, Allison (Shaw), informs him that "Halloween is based on the ancient feast called All Hollow' Eve - the one night of the year where the spirits of the dead can return to Earth." All the students and teacher are clapping and cheering her and giving her high fives because she just schooled him and it's so ridiculous. Look, I've never been to Salem and I don't know anybody from Salem, but I doubt the residents are like, "Whoo! We persecuted and killed people because we thought they were witches! Go us!" Though, I guess in their defense, there were really witches who lived back then. 

 Max comes home in a bad mood because he gave Allison his number, but she gave it right back to him, then later he runs into these two bullies (one of them is wearing a leather jacket and has a flannel shirt tied around his waist and the other has the word "ICE" (his nickname) shaved in the back of his head. They are the most '90s Disney bullies ever) and they steal his cool new kicks.

We meet Max's younger sister, Dani (Birch), about eight years old, who is hiding in Max's closet andwatches as he lays on his bed, hugging his pillow and pretending it's Allison. (I guess he doesn't hate everything about his new town!) Dani jumps out of the closet, scaring him (though he's probably more embarrassed than scared). Their parents are going to a Halloween party and Dani tells Max he has to take her trick-or-treating. Even though it's still daylight, she's all ready to go in her witch's costume. Max isn't into this at all because he just wants to stay home and mope, but he has no other choice. He's wearing jeans, a sweatshirt and jacket, sunglasses (don't ask me why when it's dark outside), and a baseball cap. His dad asks him what he's supposed to be and he replies, "A rap singer." So either the word "rapper" was not yet a thing in 1993 or the script was written by an 80-year-old. I'm going with the latter. I think it would have made more sense if his dad had said to him, "What are you supposed to be? A rap singer?" His dad moves his hat so the brim is on the side. 

While trick-or-treating, Max sees the two bullies and a few of their friends, smashing pumpkins and stealing candy from kids. He tries to get Dani to go another way, but Dani isn't scared of the older boys because she's got her big brother with her. One of the bullies asks Max if he's supposed to be a New Kid on the Block and laughs hysterically, and okay, I'll give them that; that was kind of funny. But then, when Dani informs them he's a Little Leaguer (where did she get that from? He's not even wearing a baseball uniform), Ice pretends to hit a fly ball while Leather Jacket (don't remember his name) shades his eyes as though he's watching it. They both laugh HYSTERICALLY over this and give each other a double high five, up top. I'm laughing too because it's absolutely ridiculous that they think this is so funny. Max and Dani are able to get away by Max giving them their candy. He's not very happy with Dani for getting them in this situation and they bicker and Dani cries, then they apologize and everything is good for the moment.

They come across a house that is just a perfectly normal-sized two-story house. It is a nice house for a middle class family, but it's not the mansion they're acting like it is. Turns out it's the home of Allison whose parents are throwing an elaborate 18th century party. Allison is wearing one of those 18th century gowns with the bodice, but she's not wearing the proper undergarments underneath it, so her dress doesn't poof out in an authentic way; instead it just lays flat on her body. I guess they were like, eff it, this girl will only be in this costume for less than five minutes, it doesn't really matter how authentic it looks. 

Allison tells them she's on candy duty and asks them if they want some apple cider. We get a really inappropriate exchange when Allison tells Dani she likes her costume and Dani tells her the same. She says she wouldn't be able to wear it beccause she doesn't have any "yabos" and tells Allison that Max likes her "yabos"; "in fact, he loves them." The f***? I get that Dani is trying to embarrass her brother, but why is she embarrassing poor Allison, too? (She just sort of laughs it away.) Also, how does Dani know this? Did she hear her brother tell his pillow he was pretending was Allison that he loves her yabos while Dani was hiding in his closet? 

The conversation turns to the Sanderson sisters and we learn that Allison's mother used to run the museum (their old home which is still standing all these 300 years later!) dedicated to them, but it was shut down because "a lot of spooky things happened there." We never learn exactly what these spooky things were. Max suggests they all go check it out and Allison agrees and goes upstairs to change. Dani doesn't want to go because she's heard about the spooky things from her classmates. Max tells her if she does this for him, he'll do anything she wants. He is treading in murky water because she gets an evil grin on her face and tells him next Halloween she wants them to go together as Peter Pan and Wendy. "With tights or it's no deal." Max quickly agrees to this. How much do you want to bet that Max didn't follow up with this deal? He already got what he wanted by spending the evening with his crush, excuse me "the girl of [his] dreams"; it's no skin off his back if he conveniently "forgets" about this deal. 

They reach the museum which is covered in cobwebs and dust. It literally looks like it hasn't been touched inthe 300 years since the sisters have been gone even though it now has modern amenities like a light switch and a postcard swivel stand. There are also plaque cards by certain objects. Max reads one about the Black Flame Candle: "Legend says that, on a full moon, it will raise the spirits of the dead when lit by a virgin on Halloween night." He wants to light the candle with a lighter he found and bring the "old broads" back, but clearly doesn't believe it will happens and calls it "just a bunch of hocus pocus." A black cat jumps on him from out of nowhere, knocking him out of the way of the candle. This does not deter Max and he nonchalantly lights the candle anyway and the house begins to shake as thought there's an earthquake and all the lights go out before the door opens revealing the three witches. The three kids hide, but Dani is quickly detected by Mary who sniffs her out. They're about to push her into the cauldron, but Max tries to stop them. While Winnie uses her magic to restrain him, Allison grabs a broom and whacks her. The cat jumps on her and a bunch of commotion is going on. Max gets them to back off by telling them he's conjuring "The Burning Rain of Death" where he sets the sprinklers off by lighting the lighter. 

The cat tells Max to grab the spell book and this is the first time we see the cat can talk. Of course, this is Thackery Binx, living out his eternal life as a cat. He goes by Binx now (because Thackery is a stupid name for a cat, probably). Now you may be wondering why he just didn't tell his dad he was a cat when he was trying to get his attention all those years before, but my theory is he hadn't learned to speak as a cat yet and now he's had all this time to evolve. Although, I'm pretty sure it's physically impossible for a cat to speak human words (even one who used to be human), but let's not get into semantics. For some reason, the three kids (with the spell book) and Binx run to the graveyard. Great place to be on Halloween night with three witches after you. Max tries to burn the book, but of course it's protected by magic. 

Winnie realizes it's just regular water falling from the ceiling (and ditzy Sarah opens her mouth to drink it) and tells them to follow her. They run outside, but halt quickly when they see a black asphalt road thinking it's a black river. Winnie and Mary push Sarah into to see how deep it is, but Sarah is able to stand on the "river" and announces, "'Tis firm!" and they are able to continue on their way. Winnie tells her sisters (but mainly the viewing audience so we can have some exposition), "The magic that brought us back only works tonight, on All Hallows' Eve. When the sun comes up, we're dust. Fortunately, the potion I brewed the night we were hanged would keep us alive and young forever. Unfortunately, the recipe for that potion is in my spell book, and the little wretches have stolen it." As long as they find the book, brew the potion, and suck the lives out of the children of Salem before sunrise, then they'll be fine. "Otherwise, it's curtains! We evaporate!" Not to get into semantics again, but doesn't Halloween end at midnight? When the sun rises the next day, it will be November 1st! Oh, well. 

The go to the graveyard where Winnie resurrects her old lover, Billy Butcherson, who she killed herself by poisoning him and sewing his mouth shut with a needle so he "couldn't tell her secrets even in death" She killed him because she found him "sporting" with Sarah. She wants him to go after the kids, but they are quick to get away from him when Max snaps a branch in front of his face and his head falls off his body and while he's wasting time finding it, the kids escape in a tunnel that leads to the sewer. 

The witches get on a bus with a bus driver who should be fired because he's acting like a creep to them and coming on to them pretty strongly. Mary smells children so they get off at the next stop where many kids are trick-or-treating, but the witches are confused because they don't realize those are children in costumes. They see a guy dressed as the devil come out of his house and they exclaim, "Master! He loves that these three women are dressed as the Sanderson sisters and invites them inside. This is a little weird that this guy is inviting three women inside his house when his wife is inside. It's also a little weird that this husband and wife are played by real life siblings Garry and Penny Marshall. While the sisters are inside the house, three young girls dressed as the Sanderson sisters see the brooms the real Sanderson sisters left outside and take them. 

There's really no reason for this scene with the Garry and Penny Marshall cameo, (Bette Midler must have called in a favor since Garry directed her in Beaches), but I did laugh when Winnie goes into the kitchen, picks up a mallet, and exclaims, "Behold! A torture chamber!" I can see someone from the 17th century thinking that about a kitchen: there are sharp objects, hot objects, weird electronic devices. When the wife sees Sarah dancing with her husband, she chases the women out (well, really her little terrier chases them out) and Winnie figures out that really wasn't their master and declares the costumed figures are actually children.  

The kids decide to go to the party their parents are at to find them and tell them what's going on. It was a bit odd that they had no idea what their parents' costumes were. Their dad is Dracula, or "Dadcula" as he tells Max to call him. Dani finds their mom who is dressed as Madonna with a blonde wig and a cone bra. Maybe it's a good thing their parents (especially the mom) didn't tell their kids about their costumes so they wouldn't embarrass them! Dani tells her mom (with a very straight face, I might add), "[Max] lit the Black Flame. The withes are back from the dead, and they're after us. We need help." She also adds that the cat she's holding can talk. Her mom asks her how much candy she's had. I don't think that a lot of candy is really going to affect a person that much except give them a major stomachache. 

The witches find their way to the party and Max sees them and makes an announcement about them and how dangerous they are and they're after everyone's children. The crowd laughs, thinking it's a big funny joke. They also love it when the sisters sing "I Put a Spell On You". 

Allison gets an idea and the kids lure the witches to the high school into a kiln. I'm not really sure how they lured them there...we hear a tape playing of a French lesson and for some reason this entices the witches to find out where it's coming from. I don't really know much about kilns. I'm not sure how big they typically are, but this one is big enough for all of them to walk into. The kids lock the door and proceed to burn them alive and we see green smoke escaping from the chimney. I'm looking at the time stamp and there is still half an hour left of the movie, so I know more shenanigans are to be had! After burning the witches, the kids are outside the school, cheering and doing cartwheels. This reaction is a bit extreme considering they just burned three people alive. I realize they were trying to kill Dani (and other children) and killed little Emily 300 years ago so I'm sure they felt they got justice for Binx, but look, we we just shot Bin Laden; it's not like we burned him alive. Their reaction of jubilance is a bit much.

Binx tells Max he's wanted to do that for 300 years, since they took Emily away from him. After telling Max to take good care of Dani, he starts to run in the opposite direction, but Max tells him he's a Dennison now and can live with them. They all go to the Dennison house where they hang out in Max's room; Dani and Binx on the bed and Max and Allison sitting on the steps. Oh, did I mention that Max has steps in his room? Yeah, they lead up to a widow's walk. Um, like how cool is that? Why is he complaining about his new town when he has a super cool room that leads to a widow's walk?? You know Dani is moving into that room after Max goes to college!


Dani tells her new pet, "You'll have milk and tuna fish every day. And you'll only hunt mice for fun." (Earlier, Binx had told them he hunted mice in the sewer). Milk and tuna fish sounds like a disgusting combination (though I think anything with milk (with the exception of chocolate) is disgusting). Sidenote: don't give your cat milk; give them water. There was also an earlier incident where poor Binx gets flattened by a bus when they come out of the sewer (the same bus the sisters were on) and yes, it was very traumatizing for both poor Dani and me! Binx is able to inflate himself back to life and he tells Dani and the others about his curse; that he can't die and will live forever. This is why when Binx cuddles with Dani she tells him, "I'll always take care of you. My children will always take care of you. And their children after that. And theirs after that." He starts purring and it's so sweet. There's nothing better than cuddling with a purring kitty! And it's also sad because poor Binx is going to have to watch all the people he loves and who takes care of him die one after the other while he lives on. Though, I won't lie, I was a little jealous that Dani's cat will never die. My cat is in his senior years and it makes me so sad that he only has a few years left of his life; the majority of his life has already passed and it's like, where did the time go? I still remember bringing him home in my car in his little cardboard box with the holes poked in it from the Humane Society! 

Allison ends up falling asleep at the Dennison house (both she and Max falls asleep on the stairs which can not be comfortable!) When she realizes it's five am, she tells Max she should go since her parents will kill her. They're probably worried sick about her! If it's five am, her parents' party probably ended hours ago and, yeah, they're probably wondering where their daughter is! But she quickly forgets about going home when she gets sidetracked when they see Binx snuggling up to Dani and Max tells her, "We owe him a lot." Allison gets the idea to look through the spell book (yep, still in in their possession) and see if they can find a spell that will reverse the curse. Max reminds her that Binx warned them not to open the book, but Allison just replies, "The witches are dead. What harm can it do?" 

Plenty, Allison, plenty. You see, ALLISON, the witches aren't actually dead. Somehow, being burned alive didn't kill them...or maybe those kids don't know how to work a kiln, who knows? We see the door open and the three sisters walk out of the kiln with disheveled hair. There isn't even a trace of ash or soot on them.

They return to their home and Winnie is trying to remember the potion from memory since they don't have the book. She says she remembers that Sarah was "dancing idiotically over there", which Sarah hilarious reenacts her for. When Winnie is trying to remember one of the key ingredients, she just can't quite get it. Is it dead man's nose?  Dead man's thumb? Dead man's gum? Sarah jumps in excitedly with, "Dead man's toes!", but Winnie just tells her to hush. 

It's no use, Winnie can't remember the recipe for the potion and she starts sobbing and tells Mary in the most dramatic way, "This is the end, I feel it. We are dooooooomed. I feel the icy breath of death upon my neck." She requests that Mary take her to the window because, "I wish to say goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye to life. Goodbye to all that."

Well, it just so happens that when Allison and Max opened the spell book, it shot a stream of red light right out of the widow's walk, illuminating where the book is and Winnie's tune quickly changes from depressed to ecstatic. She tells Mary, "We fly!"  Mary isn't sure what they're going to fly on since all their brooms were stolen, but they open the supply closet and Winnie flies on a broom, Sarah flies on a mop, and Mary flies on a vacuum. I guess the criteria is that witches have to fly on something that cleans floors! Where is the Swiffer? That's what I would ride! 

I must say the practical effects they used for the flying scenes look pretty realistic. I'm not sure how they did it, but props to the special effects department for this movie. 


While Max and Allison are reading the book, they find out if they surround themselves with a circle of salt, they are protected from the witches' powers. Of course, this is going to come up later, but it's kind of weird they're even mentioning this because, as far as they know, the witches are dead and they don't need to protect themselves from them. 

Max checks his parents' room to see if they're home, but they're not. How is it five am and the parents still aren't home? Is it because Winnie cast a spell at the party telling everyone to, "Dance until they die?" (Which she did, but I didn't think anyone was going to take literally!) Why haven't they shown us shots of the parents at the party, still dancing to show us why they're still not home? 

While Max and Allison are in the kitchen getting salt (I guess you can never be too prepared), we see a creepy shot of a long fingernail cutting through the screen. The older kids hear a crash from upstairs and run up to check on Dani. She looks like she's laying in the bed, under the covers, but when the covers are pulled off, Sarah is lying in the bed. I have to admit, that reveal scared me because I wasn't expecting it! The closet door opens to reveal Winnie and Mary hiding with Dani and the book. They take Dani, Binx, the book, and shoot through the widow's walk, just leaving a huge gaping hole. I'm sure the Dennison parents are going to love to pay for that! 

There's a cool shot of the silhouette of three witches flying over Salem where you can see the coastline and a lighthouse flashing its light. 

Not sure if this movie is a musical, but we had the witch sisters singing "I Put a Spell On You" and now we get another musical number where Sarah sings a song to lure the children to them: "Come, little children, I'll take three away into a land of enchantment." As she sings this sing, we see kids, walking like zombies, toward the Sanderson home. Some are in their pajamas and some are still in their costumes. At five am? Why? Some kids are even in their pajamas with elements of their costume. The witches have tied Dani up in a chair and Binx is tied up in a bag while they brew the potion.

Allison and Max get an idea to fool the witches into thinking the sun has come up (even though there's still probably another hour before the sun actually comes up). They drive to the Sanderson house (I guess it's one of Max's parents' car; I don't think they just jacked this car from off the street) and right before the sisters are about to feed Dani the potion, Max bursts in and tells Winnie there's something called Daylight Saving Time, then Allison turns on the car's headlights, making the witches think the sun is coming up and they hide for cover. This gives Max time to get Dani and Binx out of there and he kicks over the cauldron with the potion. Very similiar to the first scene when Thackery knocks over the potion. 

The witches realize they've been duped and Winnie inspects the caldron, declaring there's just enough potion left "for one child" and pours the potion into a vial. Even though the children they've summoned are still walking towars their home in a trance, Winnie has her sights set on Dani as payback since she called Winnie ugly while Winnie was brewing the potion and lauding how she was going to be young and beautiful forever. Dani told her, "It doesn't matter how young or old you are! You sold your soul! You're the ugliest thing that's ever lived and you know it!" The look Bette Midler gives Thora Birch in this scene is absolutely hilarious. Needless to say, Winnie does not like being called "ugly" and she tells Dani that she'll be the first to die. And Winnie plans to keep that promise! 

The kids drive to the graveyard with the witches following them on their flying cleaning supplies. (Again, what is with the graveyard setting?) They run into Billy who takes the pocketknife that Max threatens him  with to cut open the stitches in his mouth. He is finally able to tell Winnie off and Max realizes this zombie is on their side. 

Max and Allison put Dani in the grave that Billy was in (because that's not creepy at all) and create a circle of salt around her to protect her. When the witches show up, Billy tells Winnie to go to hell and she replies with, "Oh, I've been there, thank you. I found it quite lovely." She comes after him and poor Billy loses his head for the second time since he's been raised from the dead. Dani leave the Circle of Salt Safety to retrieve Billy's head and give it back to him. I think at this point, Allison and Max are contending with Mary and Sarah. This allows Winnie to come down and scoop Dani up. Binx runs up a tree and along one of the branches and jumps on Winnie which makes her drop the potion which Max catches. Winnie throws Binx and he hits a rock and becomes unconscious. Poor Binx gets a lot of physical harm done to him in this movie.

Max tells Winnie to put down his sister or he'll smash the vial. She retaliates by telling him if he smashes it, Danie dies. He drinks the potion instead and tells her she has no choice; she'll have to take him. It's very noble that he's sacrificing his own life for his little sister's, but hopefully he has a plan NOT to die! Max starts to emit the same glow Emily did at the beginning of the movie and Winnie, still on her broom, lifts up Max so she's basically holding him by the collar of his sweatshirt (that thing's gonna stretch out!) or even by his hair at times (ouch!) She's trying to suck the life out of him as he's struggling to let go. Sarah and Mary are trying to help her, but Allison, Dani, and Billy are pulling on the cord of the vacuum to prevent them, so Sarah has to pull on Mary's hand to help HER.

But, guess what? Time's up! Game over! The sun starts to come up (and this is a massive Sahara sunrise; no way this sunrise would ever occur in New England, especially in the fall). Winnie is surprised by this and both she and Max fall to the ground. But Winnie won't give up! She's determined to get the life force from Max before the sun has completely risen. She still's holding Max by his sweatshirt, but is distracted and freaked out when she starts to turn to stone, starting with her feet until she has turned into a statue standing in the middle of the graveyard (and still holding onto Max, but he's able to get away from her stone grip). I was confused for a second because I thought they were supposed to turn to dust, but then I liked the idea of Winnie remaining a statue forever in the cemetery and it would add more to the lore. Sarah and Mary, still flying on their brooms (just for a split second more!) are like "Uh-oh!" when they see the sun and they both turn into dust, though it looked more like glitter since Sarah turns into purple dust and Mary turns into red dust. Then the statue of Winnie explodes into green glitter dust and I was a little disappointed that her statue didn't stay. The sequel to this movie is supposed to come out next year with Midler, Parker, and Najimy reprising their roles. I bet the screenwriters are kicking themselves that they didn't leave Winnie as a statue! Oh, well, I'm sure they'll find a way to resurrect these witch sisters from being turned into millions of dust particles!

So the witches are dead for good now (at least for the next 29 years! (but by then Max, Dani, and Allison will be adults by then and probably not be living in Salem anymore and will be like, "Not my problem anymore" if/when they hear about the resurrection of the Sanderson sisters)), so everyone should be happy, right? Well, not quite. After Winnie threw Binx to the ground, we did see him raise his head and meow pathetically, so we know that didn't kill him. However, after the witches died, the curse broke and Binx died too. Poor Dani is so sad and crying over his little furry body. At least Dani gets some closure because she sees the ghost of Thackery Binx (as a human) telling her not to cry and say, "The witches are dead. My soul's finally free." He thanks Dani for freeing him and thanks Max for lighting the candle. Then it turns into a ghost family reunion because the ghost of Emily just appears, looking for Thackery. (I guess she was buried at the graveyard, so it makes sense she was already "in the neighborhood". Max, Dani, and Allison watch as the 18th century ghost sibling walk away together in the sunrise. 

The great mood the Dennison siblings are in now won't last long when their parents return home and see the top of the house has been blown off!

So I really enjoyed this movie even though I have no nostalgic attachment to it. I can see why it's turned into a Halloween cult classic over the years. I do find it odd that this movie came out in July; this is a movie you must see during October during the Halloween season. 

Happy Halloween, everyone! 

Thursday, September 9, 2021

Who are we?

Wild Child
Director: Nick Moore
Cast: Emma Roberts, Natasha Richardson, Alex Pettyfer, Juno Temple, Aidan Quinn
Released: August 15, 2008


So this is a movie I had never heard of until recently when I came upon somebody's review of it on YouTube. (Don't even ask me the rabbit hole I went down to find this because I don't even remember!) The release date I posted is the UK release date; this didn't seem to get a theatrical release in the U.S.; I could only find a DVD premiere date of November 17, 2009 (so over a year since the UK theatrical date!) 

Personally, I don't think the "child" (she's a teenager, not a child) is not all that "wild", more just self-centered. But I guess "Wild Child" is a catchier name than "Self-Centered Teen." Plus, they can play that Iggy Pop song at the end (though it's a different version). You know, the one that goes, "Well, I'm just outta school like I'm real, real cool, gotta dance like a fool..." Emma Roberts plays Poppy, our titular character. Let's do a quick ranking of the young Emmas. It has to be Stone, Watson, Roberts, right? Or I guess you could switch Stone and Watson. Not that I don't like Emma Roberts or think she doesn't have her fans, but I feel like Emmas Stone and Watson have a little more clout and made it to the A-list without having a superstar famous aunt. 

Okay, so Poppy is a seventeen-year-old rich AF girl who lives in a Malibu mansion right on the ocean with an infinity pool and a closetful of Chanel and Gucci. I have no idea what her dad (Aidan Quinn) does, but whatever it is, he is making bank. Poppy has a younger sister, Molly, who seems like a normal kid and doesn't get off a snooty rich kid vibe at all. 

Poppy and Molly's mother died six years ago in a car accident and their dad is dating a new woman, Rosemary, who is moving in. We never meet her (not important enough to cast, I guess!), but it sounds like she is much younger than his deceased wife. Poppy is not fond of her and doesn't want her moving in so she invites all her friends over and when the moving truck with all her dad's girlfriend's things arrive, it's a free-for-all for all the friends and she just gives away boxes of clothes and electronics and whatever else there is. I love how all the movers (there are 4 of them) are standing there like this is normal. They have to know they're witnesses to a burglary, right?  Poppy says to her friends, in front of the movers, "You can keep it or throw it away." Like I mentioned, the girlfriend isn't even cast, so where is she supposed to be when all this is going on? Is she back at her original home? Why isn't she with her stuff? And where's the dad? He's not there either (well, not at first). If I were moving in somewhere, I would want to make sure I was with my stuff. 

Not only does Poppy give away the girlfriend's things, but she jumps into the ocean with a bunch of her clothes, ruining them. Their house is on a cliff and Poppy just jumps off the ledge their house resides on (and this won't be the only time Poppy jumps off this ledge!) This just seems kinda....dangerous to me. Maybe it's not as high as it seems, but it certainly looks that way!  Even her friends are all, "OMG, WTF did she just do? Where is she? Did she come up?" Poppy's dad arrives when she's jumped into the ocean and demands that she come back up. How the hell did she even get back to her house. It looks like she is coming up stairs, but it's hard to see where they lead from. Do they have stairs that go all the way down to the water? Why does she even need to swim in the ocean if she has a pool? I'm so confused. 

Her dad tells her that this is the last straw and she's going to boarding school in England. Poppy doesn't take him seriously because apparently he's used this threat many times before and never got sent away. She comments that just because her mom also went to boarding school in England, it's not going to "magically straighten her out." This is not an empty threat and Poppy will really be going to boarding school in England. Okay, why England? Yes, we know that her mom went to boarding school in England, but maybe her mom was British? (We never are confirmed what her nationality was). As Molly comments in another scene, it's so far away. Why not just send Poppy to some boarding school on the East Coast? It just seems like a hassle to send her to a whole other country when there are plenty of boarding schools in the U.S. that she can go to. I'm just saying. 
 
Even though Poppy is a spoiled stuck-up rich teen with spoiled, stuck-up rich friends, they do show a softer side to her and we see she does have a good relationship with her sister. Molly tells Poppy she's going to miss her and asks who will cut the crusts off her sandwiches. Now you're probably thinking sweet little Molly is five or six...no, this girl is at least twelve and she can't cut off her own damn crust? Seriously? Poppy shows her ugly-American side by telling her sister, "At least they speak American there, right?" OMG, I just can't. It astounds me the number of people who think "American" (or "Mexican") is a language. Sure, there's American English, but the language is still English. I guess Poppy's father paid her way in because there's no way she got in with her own merit.

Poppy and her BFF, Ruby (who might suck even more than Poppy...but we are supposed to like Poppy by the end of this (spoiler alert!) so that's not too surprising), are doing research on England and Abbey Mount, the boarding school she will be attending (NOT a real school, but it was filmed at an actual boarding school in Cobham, Kent.) Poppy is dismayed when she finds that it rains 200 day out of the year in England (that is A LOT!) and she learns that Abbey Mount is a boarding school for girls, ages 11-17. I love the indignation in her voice when she says, "Founded in 1797" (I think it's hilarious she's so disgusted with how old the institution is and how the building has so many bricks.)

This movie wastes no time getting her to England because six minutes into the movie, she's there. I did watch the trailer for this and they seemed to have cut some Malibu scenes. I think they just wanted to get to the boarding school storyline. Even though it's a rainy, overcast day, she's wearing high heels and sunglasses. She looks ridiculous, but I do like her white coat with blue flowers, though I suspect it's not a rain coat. 

Mrs. Kingsley, the headmistress (played by the late Natasha Richardson in her last film role), introduces herself to Poppy who tries to talk her way out of going to the school, but before she can say anything, Mrs. Kingsley quickly shuts her down, telling her, "To me negotiation is like a nightclub, not something I tend to enter into."

Poppy is introduced to two people who she doesn't make very good impressions on. The first is Kate, who is her "big sister" and is to show her around school. She's also one of her roommates. Poppy tells her she already has a sister and Kate tries to explain she's more like a friend and Poppy tells her she chooses her own friends and that Kate "doesn't make the cut" (even though Kate is one of the more popular girls at the school without being a mean girl). Poppy is also intruded to Harriet, the snooty, rich Head Girl who you would think would have a few things in common with Poppy, but Harriet is aristocratic snobby, not material snobby. Harriet takes an instant disliking to Poppy and the feeling is mutual. 

Poppy is sharing a room with Kate and three other girls: Josie, Kiki and Jennifer (played by Juno Temple), who goes by the not-so-flattering nickname, Drippy, for some reason I either didn't catch or they didn't explain. Poppy doesn't realize she's sharing a room with four other girls and when she enters and sees them unpacking, she tells them she's been assigned this room and that they need to leave. The other girls just laugh and continue to unpack. Poppy tries to use her phone, but she can't get a signal. The girls tell her there's only two spots where she can get reception, but don't reveal where. They also tell her it's a moot point because they are only allowed to use their cell phones on the weekend and they are confiscated the rest of the week. Poppy has an iPhone (and this is 2008, so she has one of the first models) and scoffs at the other girls for using flip phones.

Poppy is also a bit ahead of her time because we see her use sanitizer on everything she has to touch (especially if it's in a public place). When she moves into her dorm, she squirts it all over the table next to her bed. When they go into town and she has to ride the bus, she takes out the sanitizer and douses her hands in it. You know this girl was ready when the pandemic hit! 

Her suitcase is delivered after she arrives and is left outside on the lawn in the pouring rain and everything gets ruined. Hmm, I guess you could say that this is the universe paying her back for what she did to Rosemary's clothes. We also see she bought several bottles of water (in case she gets thirsty). One of the girls wryly comments that they "have an amazing thing in the UK called a tap." Yeah, that's a bit extra. 

The school has a matron/housekeeper (played by Shirley Henderson) who checks to make sure the girls are wearing their uniforms and following rules. She comes by to collect their phones and Poppy is rude to her and wants her to hand wash her clothes. She tries to speak Spanish and Italian to her and she tells Poppy she is "Scottish, not remedial." Poppy curses and ends up giving the whole dorm two Sundays detentions. Poppy tries to "handle" it by bribing Matron with $100, but ends up giving all the girls a third detention. 

At dinner, they are served an unappetizing meal of some mystery meat, potatoes, broccoli, and carrots. First of all, that's WAY too many vegetables. Also, you'd think a school like this would have better quality and more appetizing food. Poppy tells the other girls she can't eat it. The girls assume she is either bulimic or anorexia, but she tells them, "I'm a pescatarian Monday through Wednesday; fruitarian Thursday through Sunday; and vegetarian, always." If I were one one of the other girls, I would have said, "Well, it's a good thing you have THREE vegetables on your plate you can eat!" 

We are introduced to Freddie, Mrs. Kinglsey's son who, for some unknown reason, seems to live at the dorms with his mother every once and awhile. I know it sounds super weird, but it's not as weird as it sounds, though maybe it does. I honestly don't know why he hangs out at this school so much other than he likes the attention all the girls are giving him. Freddie is really only used as a plot device. Harriet has a massive crush on him and we'll see later that she has photos of him plastered all over her bedroom mirror which isn't creepy at all. Freddie is played by Alex Pettyfer and he's almost too blonde; too tall, too good-looking. And, of course, he is the perfect gentleman. He is one of those movie-perfect boyfriends that doesn't exist in real life. 

When Poppy runs into Harriet in a crowded corridor, Harriet, who already has disdain for Poppy, snidely tells her (and imagine this being said in a snooty British accent), "Learn the rules. When it comes to right-of-way, there is a hierarchy: Teachers, prefects, scholars, dogs, vermin, Americans." The disdain in her voice when she says "Americans" is palpable. I thought it was hilarious when she said that, even though I am American. I hope these girls don't think all Americans are like Poppy! Also, wouldn't a scholar be higher than a prefect? *shrug* I did think it was funny that even though Poppy is wearing heels, Harriet (in regular school shoe) still towers over her. 

Because there is only internet connection in the computer lab, Poppy has to sneak out of her room at night to go there to write Ruby. Yes, obviously, she could use the computer lab during the day (which we do see), but with this scene they are setting us up for another scene that will come later in the movie. Poppy writes Ruby, "Two weeks in this place and I'm going out of my mind. These girls are all ugly losers." Gee, what a bitch! She sees Drippy and follows her and watches her go into the walk-in freezer where she eats ice cream. A fire alarm goes off (for a fire drill) and this is how Poppy meets Freddie when she unknowingly sneaks into his room. He's taking a bath, hidden behind a curtain and asks her name. The next day, Poppy realizes it was him when he drives up in his fancy sports car during the girls' lacrosse practice. Harriet is also on the team and is upset that Freddie knows Poppy's name and laments, "Freddie's got a crush on me". (Does he?)

Poppy has been called to Mrs. Kingsley's office who asks her what she wants to get out of this school and Poppy replies, "To get out of this school." Mrs. Kingsley tells her this school hasn't produced anybody of note, but what they do produce are "smart, independent, free-thinking, good-hearted girls, who remain friends for life." I don't want to spoil anything, but you might get a sense of the direction Poppy will be going by the end of the film. Mrs. Kingsley has faith that Poppy is that kind of girl. The door to Mrs. Kingsley's office is painted to look like a bookcase, so it looks like she has a hidden book case in her office (even though the door knob kind of defeats that purpose!) 

Poppy finds out that her roommates still have their phones that they keep hidden and had just given the matron decoys. She and Kate have a heart-to-heart when Kate lends her phone for Poppy to use. Poppy asks her why she's doing this since she's been a total a**hole and Kate corrects her by saying, "No, you behave like an a**hole. There's a difference." She figures Poppy's been acting the way she's been acting because she's scared and a little homesick (hence why she offers to let Poppy use her phone). I think Kate and the other girls still want Poppy gone because Kate tells her if she's serious about getting out of this school, she will have to be expelled and she and the others plan on helping Poppy achieve this goal. If she is up for expulsion, she'll have to face the Honor Court which is like a trial in front of the other students, teachers, and Mrs. Kinglsey.

By the way, I think there's only two teachers at this whole school (not counting Mrs. Kingsley, but she's not a teacher). At least, we only see two teachers: the French teacher, Mr. Nellist, and the gym teachers, Miss Rees-Withers. (Is that a shoutout to Reese Witherspoon?) They have a bit of a budding romance throughout the film. It doesn't really add anything to the plot, it's just there as something comical. 

A montage of Poppy and her roommates setting up and playing pranks is shown and let's do a ranking of the pranks she pulls from least offensive to probably could have had serious consequences for that:

4. Jams tape into the matron's car. Kate and Poppy put a heavy metal tape in the matrons' car and Poppy breaks the knobs on the radio so she can't turn it off or turn it down. In a later scene, we will see the girls on a bus going to town with the matron driving by in her car, loud heavy metal music blaring (she's driving a convertible). Yes, that would be very annoying if you had loud music you couldn't turn off, but she just needs to go to a mechanic to get it fixed.

3. Turns pool into a sundae. So the girls put red food dye in the pool which has to be a pain to drain and clean, but other than that not too bad. There are huge plastic ice cream scoops and cherries and bananas they also throw in the pool, but none of the food items are real. If they were real, this would have been ranked higher. 

2. Embarrasses the French teacher. Poppy has changed the audio lesson plan so the girls are hearing about "a ginger haired teacher making out with the sports teacher" en francais and they can check out the photos on the Mount Abbey website. (Not sure if there were actual photos or not). Of course, this is super embarrassing, but nothing too scandalous or explicit. 

1. "Naughty Schoolgirl Harriet." Yeah, this is just inviting a bunch of dirty old men and pedophiles to call the school. Poppy and the others go to a phone booth in town and plaster posters of Harriet's head on a model (presumably, a porn star) wearing only underwear and a blouse with a school tie. They've printed "Naughty Schoolgirl Harriet" on it along with the school's phone number and the sign also says "satisfaction guaranteed" and "eager to please." In the word that Poppy keeps using throughout the film, "Ewww." We see Harriet receiving one of these calls (though she must have received more!) and she looks very confused as she's describing what she's wearings. She says her underwear is "polyester; sturdy and practical", which I'm sure her caller loved to hear! And when (offscreen) she's asked if she's been naughty, she haughtily replies, "No, I have certainly not been naughty. My disciplinary record is exemplary." Yes, it was a funny scene and Harriet has no idea what's going on, but if you think about it, it's really creepy and disturbing and these girls are inviting predators and criminals to call the school.

The girls have told Poppy that she needs to get the blame for all of these stunts so she can get expelled and while she makes it clear she is the culprit of each of these pranks, no matter what she does, she doesn't get in any serious trouble. Her roommates tell her Mrs. Kingsley is "cutting her a lot of slack." They think that at the dance that's coming up that weekend, she should kiss Freddie. Not only will it anger Mrs. Kingsley because he's her son and fraternizing is forbidden, but it will also make Harriet jealous and furious. She has to make sure she does it on school grounds so she can get caught. Poppy is excited about the dance and thinks they should all dress up "fancy", so the next day they go into town to do some shopping. There must be some field trip into town because Poppy and her roommates aren't the only ones riding a bus into town. They are all wearing their normal, everyday clothes and Poppy is wearing shorts and a sleeveless top, which the matron deems she looks like she could be in a window in Amsterdam (is she calling her a hooker?), so Harriet "offers" her an oversized yellow sweater with a stitching of a Yorkie on it with daisies embroidered at the bottom of it. 
 
They go to one of the second-hand shops where the money they use to buy their clothes goes to help with cancer research. Poppy isn't thrilled about this since she's used to shopping for and buying designer clothes and wanted to go shopping on Oxford street, even though they're nowhere near London. She thinks it will be a challenge to find five dance-worthy outfits, but likes the challenge and we see a fun shopping montage of all the girls playing dress up and all of them, even Poppy, are having a fun time. Poppy tells them, "If we could just call this stuff vintage and add three zeroes to the price tag, I could totally get into it." Really? This bitch would rather pay $10,000 for something that is $10?  Hey, Poppy, here's an idea, since you're so freakin' rich, why don't you donate the remaining $9,990 and then it will feel like you're shopping at some designer boutique and you can give your money to a good cause. But, let's be honest, she doesn't have that kind of money on her. 

Poppy takes out her phone and snaps a picture of all five of them wearing their new garbs. She exclaims, "Malibu moment!" and tells the girls, "Remember what I taught you" and they all say, "Who are we?" before she snap the photo. When I watched the trailer, they show a scene of Poppy and her Malibu friends saying, "Who are we?" before taking a photo so that explains where that came from. There must be another deleted scene where Poppy tells her Mount Abbey roommates about this. 

The girls next go to a hair salon where Poppy gives the stylist (played by Nick Frost) all these demands she wants done to her hair, but he refuses and suggests other ideas, but she's having none of it. Finally, they compromise and she agrees when he suggests making her natural. Her hair goes back to it natural dark brown color and her extensions are taken out. One of the girls comments, "You look so English" and Poppy says she looks like her mom. Her saying that after the "You look so English" comment makes me wonder if her mother was English. This is something we will never find out. I must say, I do think her new hair style/color looks better on her. This is part of her transformation where she's shedding her spoiled Malibu persona. 

The dance has the theme of "movie magic" even though Poppy's roommates have told her nobody ever dresses up for the dances' themes except for teachers, uncool kids, and Harriet. And sure enough we see Mrs. Kingsley dressed up as Velma from Scooby-Doo (I know it was made into a movie, but I think of Scooby-Doo more as an animated TV show), Mr. Nellist is dressed as James Bond, and Miss Rees-Withers is Sporty Spice from Spice World, I guess?? Harriet goes all out and dresses as Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice because a friend told her she overheard Freddie say that she looks "exactly like Keira Knightley" (she doesn't). She even goes so far as to have her minions tell Mr. Nellist, who's DJing the party, to stop the pop music that's playing and change the music to something classical-sounding (I assume it's from the soundtrack to P&P) so Harriet can make her entrance in her elaborate costume. (Of course she couldn't dress in a soccer uniform and go as Keira Knightly from Bend it Like Beckham!) She walks up to Freddie and speaks a line from the movie to him, all prim and proper. It's very cringe-y. It's like, girl, just stop, you're embarrassing yourself. You can tell Freddie is not into it all and he just says "hi" to her. 

Harriet's perfect evening is ruined by Poppy when she shows up in her flirty party dress and new hair style and just grabs Freddie and starts dancing with him. Poppy does try to kiss Freddie, but they are interrupted by Harriet's minions who have sent them to keep an eye on Poppy. They decide not to tell Harriet what they saw because "she won't just shoot the messenger, she'll skin us alive first." 

Freddie tells Poppy he'll be coming back another day and asks if she wants to hang out then and she agrees. When the day comes, right before she's to meet Freddie, she's in the computer lab writing an e-mail to Ruby. Remember this. I should point out that we've seen Poppy's boyfriend back home (which I didn't even know she had, but I assume he was bigger part of al the deleted scenes) cheating on her with Ruby, so it's kind of funny Poppy is about to go on a date with another guy, even though her intentions are just to use him to get expelled. When he comes to pick her up, he wants to take her into town, but she wants to "take a romantic walk around the school grounds" so she can get caught with him. He refuses because he knows they'll both get in trouble and we see a cute montage of them on their date where they visit an old English town, sit and chat by the seaside cliffs, and go to a pub where he orders fries and bread. Is this an actual thing? It sounds terrible. She tells him, "Kinda gross, but I like it." She also tells him this is the best date she's ever been on and they kiss and you can tell she's forgotten what her intentions with him were in the first place and doesn't even care about that anymore. 



Poppy comes back to her room all, "I'm in love and I don't care who knows it!"- like, ready to share with her friends what happened with Freddie, but the four other girls are just glowering at her. It turns out, when she was in the computer lab, she forgot to log out of her e-mail (like, how do you forget to do that?) and Head Girl Harriet (it isn't revealed until later that it was Harriet, but c'mon, we all know it's her) intercepted Poppy's e-mail account and edited a few things on one of Poppy's e-mails to Ruby, then printed a few of them out and taped one on the door of their room while Poppy was on her date. It's pretty brutal when Kate begins reading the doctored e-mail: "Dear Ruby, you cannot image how retarded these idiots are. I despise village idiots, but I have to pretend to like them to get out of this hell hole." Yikes! This is (presumably and hopefully!) what Harriet wrote, but she did keep in the line about Poppy calling them "ugly losers" which isn't great and a great reminder that Poppy kinda sucks even if we're supposed to like her by now. Poppy admits she did write the loser part, "but that was weeks ago", but claims she didn't write any other part of it. One of the girls tells her the e-mail is dated today and it's from her e-mail address.  We also find out that Freddie also received this e-mail where "Poppy" writes about hooking up with the headmistress's son so she'll get expelled and calls him a "dweeb". When she tries to explain, he just slams the door in her face. 

So Poppy is all sad and friendless and the ironic part is even though she was trying to get expelled, she had started to like the place, making new, genuine friends and falling for Freddie. She's also discovered that her mother went to this school in the the late '70s. 

The scene where she sneaks out of her room and spies Drippy going into the walk-in freezer moments before there's a fire drill comes back into play in the next scene. Poppy is in the cook's sitting room (never heard of such a thing!), moping and feeling sorry for herself, also playing with a lighter, watching the flame go on and off. We know this is Poppy's lighter because it says "I [heart] L.A." on it; however, I'm not sure why she has one since we've never seen her smoke. You think they would have made this Chekov's lighter if it was going to play a significant part in a later scene. Oh, well, at least they set up some of the other elements. Drippy has sneaked into the freezer, but neither girl notices the other. Poppy is sitting near curtains and at one point the lighter DOES catch onto the fabric, and Poppy, freaked out, manages to put out the fire. When she hears footsteps, she drops the lighter (very convenient that she leaves the lighter on the floor) and gets out of there and goes back to her room. Moments later, a raging fire will appear where she just was and Poppy freaks out and wakes up Kate and tells her she "didn't mean to do it" and thought she had "put it out" and has her help wake everybody else so they can evacuate. On the school grounds, Mrs. Kingsley is taking roll call and Drippy isn't there. By this time, the firefighters have arrived. Poppy realizes that Drippy is in the freezer and she runs to save her, like she's an extra in Backdraft or something. Freddie is the one who finds her lighter and immediately knows it belongs to Poppy since it has "I [heart] L.A." imprinted on it. I love how he is allowed to just walk around the area where the fire started. 

There is an assembly where Mrs. Kingsley tells the person who's responsible for the fire to own up to it and that they have until the end of the day to confess and if they do, no legal charges will be filed; but if they don't, it will be passed on to the local authorities. The guilt lays so heavily on Poppy that she confesses to Mrs. Kingsley later that day and asks her to give a letter she wrote to Freddie. In it, she tells him she did plan to use him to get expelled, but once she got to know him, her feelings for him became genuine and she's never felt like that with anyone before. Mrs. Kinglsey tells her the Honor Court will decide if she's expelled, but "it's just a formality at this point." 

When the Honor Court is starting, Poppy's roommates are in their room, discussing things. They're starting to have second thoughts about Poppy's guilt (about the nasty e-mail, anyway).  The e-mails were sent at 11:40 in the morning. According to Drippy, Poppy left the computer room a few minutes after 11. Kiki was able to find out who else was using the computer lab during the time and -shocker- it was Harriet. Didn't see that one coming! Drippy points out that Poppy would never use the word "term"; she would use "samosa" - the other girls correct her that its pronounced "semester" (I guess that's not a work they use in the UK!) Drippy also admits that she  had snooped through Poppy's diary and reads an entry she found: "I think, deep breath, I kind of love them like proper friend I've known forever.....I'd probably hate them if I wasn't one of them. But I like that I'm now one of them." Aww. By this time, the girls know that Poppy never sent those e-mails and they go to the Honor Court to support her.

For some reason, without anyone asking her to, Harriet seems to be the prosecutor in Poppy's case. She keeps hounding how Poppy did this and she should be expelled. Even Mrs. Kingsley is telling her to chill out. In her statement, Poppy talks about how she won't defend her actions for what she did. She says how much she wanted to get out of this school, but now she wants to stay. She tells them, "I've learned so much being here" and talks about how she found out her mom was a student here back in 1976. She says she knows she looked like a California girl when she first started, but in her heart she knows she's an Abbey Mount girl. 

Mrs. Kingsley starts to ask her questions. Did she intend to start the fire? (No.) Was there anyone else with her? Poppy starts to say no, but then Kate, followed by her other roommates stand up and say they were with her. Soon, every girl is standing up and declaring they were with her until everybody is standing except for Harriet and her two minions. Harriet is outraged. She tells Mrs. Kingsley, "This is a conspiracy. You can't expel the whole year, and they know that." She adds that Poppy had her lighter with her and tried to burn the place down. One of her minions asks her how she knows she had the lighter because that information hadn't gotten out yet. Mrs. Kingsley also asks her how she knew about the lighter. Harriet looks scared and claims that it was mentioned. It's too bad for her she didn't know that Freddie knew about it because then she could just say he told her. 

Poppy tells her Freddie found the lighter before anyone saw it and how would she know about it unless she was there? She gets the sudden realization that Harriet started the fire. She was the one who Poppy heard when she heard footsteps. Harriet screams at Poppy, "You've turned this school upside down. You ruined everything. You started it! I only finished what YOU started." Yep, I think we just got ourselves a confession. Poppy will be able to stay and everyone is happy. Everyone hates Harriet (including her two minions) and she is sent packing. 

So during all of this, there is a B plot of Poppy being on the lacrosse team (whenever I think of lacrosse, I always think of it being played on horses, but maybe I'm thinking of polo). Poppy is a very good player and this is the first time since 1976 the lacrosse team has gone through to the championships. Her mom not only played on the lacrosse team, but was also the captain in 1976. 

Them last scene is of the girls playing in the lacrosse finals, Poppy's dad come to pick her up and he can't believe how much she looks like her mother. Poppy is happy to see him and asks him why he didn't tell her that her mom went to this school and he tells her he thought it would make her too sad, which seems like kind of a bs answer to me. I bet she would have liked that school a lot more to begin with if she knew her mom went there. I still want to know if her mom was English. 

Okay, so I did some digging and did find the beginning of the film with the deleted scenes I saw from the trailer. This is everything that happens before she goes to England. They did actually cast Rosemary, so I was wrong about that. It's possible they cut it for time, but it's probably about five or six extra minutes of footage. I think they cut it because what we see makes Poppy look like a monster and perhaps thought she couldn't be redeemable. For instance, they show her berating her housekeeper for ironing some shirt she paid $400 or some obscene amount that's suppose to look all creased. Then we see her and a group of friends (including Ruby, who seems to be the Queen Bee of their group) going to some spa day and shopping at Fred Segal and they'e just being awful to the people who work there and acting like spoiled brats. I really do believe they cut this because they wanted Poppy to have a chance at redemption and while she is still pretty awful from what we do see of her, the deleted scenes take it to a whole other level. Like I said, we do see Rosemary, Poppy's soon to be stepmother and other than being a golddigger, she does seem nice. They don't portray her as this awful woman who has plans to send Poppy and Molly to boarding school once she moves in (that's Poppy's father's job!) 

Oh, and while the credits are playing (over a version of Wild Child which is not as good as the original!) we do see Poppy has invited Freddie, Kate, Drippy, Josie, and Kiki to her Malibu house and we see that Poppy has erased that bitch, Ruby, from her life for good. The five girls jump off the ledge into the ocean and you could not pay me enough to do that because with my luck, I would probably land in the water where I either get paralyzed or die. 

Thursday, September 2, 2021

10th movie montage

 I know it's been awhile since I last made one of these, but I have made my TENTH movie montage! You can check out the other nine if you click on the "montage" tag. 



Friday, August 6, 2021

Fox is a Wolf

Teen Wolf
Director: Rod Daniel
Cast: Michael J. Fox and you've never heard of anyone else
Released: August 23, 1985



Teen Wolf is a movie I've never seen, but I've always been aware of it. In fact, the only scene I've ever seen is when he's transformed into the werewolf and is playing basketball. 

So an interesting fact about this movie: it came out in 1985, the same year another Michael J. Fox came out. You might have heard of it? Back to the Future was kind of a big deal! MJF filmed Teen Wolf before BTTF, however the Teen Wolf people knew BTTF was going to be a big hit (because of Spielberg being an executive producer), so they had Teen Wolf come out AFTER BTTF. Very smart move, though it was pretty obnoxious how they depend on the success of BTTF for their own success (though much, much smaller). 

It is very clear that this movie was made with little money and absolutely no thought to the script. Also, MJF was the only actor I was familiar with (though if you've ever seen Desperate Housewives, one of the basketball team players went on to play one of the husbands). 

High schooler Scott Howard (played by then 23-year-old Michael J. Fox, but hey at least he could pull off looking like a teen unlike some of his castmates!) is your average guy. He's not super popular, but he's also not a total loser. He's just there. He's on his school's basketball team, The Beavers, which is pretty hilarious since MJF is known for being short. I know this isn't the NBA, so I guess a short kid can be on the basketball team. There's also a fat kid who's sort of friends with Scott (they'e friendly, but he isn't one of Scott's main friends) who goes by the nicknames "Chub" or "Chubby." I'm sure he just loves that! I have no idea what his real name is. The basketball team sucks. Remember that, because that's a big plot point. They're playing a team called the Dragons and Scott growls at a rival player named Mick, who looks like he's pushing 30. Remember him, because he will also come back. We are also starting to see Scott's werewolf "symptoms". 

One of Scott's friends is named Boof (TERRIBLE name. I just can't. They don't even explain how it's a nickname -which it MUST be because what kind of monster parents would give their daughter the terrible and ugly name of "Boof"?)  and at first I just assumed she was his girlfriend because she's a pretty girl with dark hair who we see sitting in the stands during the first basketball game, cheering Scott on. After the game, we see them walking home together and Scott asks Boof why Pamela Wells, this beautiful and popular blonde girl at their school, won't say more than two words to him. She gets all haughty and tells him he can do better. Guess I was wrong they were boyfriend and girlfriend! We learn that they've been neighbors and friends since childhood and Boof has a huge crush on Scott that everyone clearly knows about...except for Scott. Isn't it always that way?

We get another scene of Scott experiencing canine tendencies. He's helping his dad at his hardware store and we see this young boy pick up a whistle and blow it. Everyone just goes about their business and doesn't react to anything, but Scott hears this high-pitched sound that is excruciating to his ears and he immedietly covers them with his hands. He sees the boy is about to blow the whistle again, but he goes over to him and stops him and take the whistle from the kid who just looks at him and claims that it's broken. This movie must think their audience is a bunch of morons because they have Scott look at the whistle in his hand and say outloud, to nobody (well, to the audience, I guess), "Dog whistle." Well, duh, no sh*t. I hate it when movies have to spell out something so frickin' obvious. OF COURSE it's a dog whistle. Because he's a werewolf...or about to become one. Get it? Do you get it? Oh yeah, I forgot to mention another sign that Scott is beginning his transformation: when he's changing after basketball practice, he notices a super long (and thick) hair on his otherwise bare chest and it's super gross. 

Then we get another scene where Scott is dropping off supplies at school for the school play, which Pamela is in (and seems to be the only person involved in it! Must be a one-woman show type of thing) and he asks her if she's going to the party that's being held at some random person's house that night. While he's doing this, he notices that his hands are covered in thick dark hair and shoves them into the back pockets of his jeans. Pamela tells him she already has a ride to the party and we see Mick (remember, the guy who was on the other basketball team) come in to pick her up and they kiss and it's obviously they're dating, even though Scott will deny this. Um, dude, it's so obvious they're involved. After Pamela and Mick leave, Scott takes his hands out of his pockets and they're back to normal. By now, if I were him, I would be very concerned. While he is concerned, it's not to the extend that he should talk to his dad or a doctor about this. 

So Scott has this friend name Stiles who I hated so much. It feels like he was a prototype for Stifler, but almost worse. Stiles confused me. Was he supposed to be popular? We see that the only way he can get into this hoppin' party is if he brings a keg of beer and he seems extremely desperate to be at the party, but when he is at the party, he seems to be the life of the party and everyone is having a good time with him (of course, it could be because they're all drunk). It doesn't make sense that Scott and Stiles are friends because Scott seems like a nice, normal guy while Stiles is a douchebag. Even Boof, who seems to be the good girl next door seems to be friends with asshat Stiles. I was always confused if we were supposed to like Stiles or not. I feel like we were supposed to like him and think he was a fun and wacky guy, but no, I didn't care for him. 

Stiles (or could be Styles for all I know) gets his nickname (pretty sure it's a nickname...like I'm pretty sure Boof has to be a nickname, but again, who would want to be called BOOF?) because he has "style". Or some semblance to it, I guess. He wears these brightly colored, super tight (like ridiculously tight) pants and his shirts, if they don't have a loud and garish print on them, they have some obnoxious message on them. For instance, when we first meet him he's wearing a shirt that says "Life sucks, then you die" (and that's not even the worst shirt he wears to school!), then he wears a shirt that says "Obnoxious" which is a great word to describe him. 

Stiles doesn't have any luck buying beer (not sure why since the actor who played him was 27!), so he wants Scott to carry a plastic gun in his pocket and keep it concealed while he points at it the clerk while he tells him to give him a keg. He tells Scott to pay him so he can't say he was robbed. Uh, pretty sure you're still committing a felony even if you do pay for it! Dumbass! Scott tells him he'll do it, but tosses the toy gun back in the car, so clearly he thinks Stiles is a moron too. While asking the clerk for a keg, his eyes turn red and he seems to hypnotize the man into giving him a keg. Is that a thing with werewolves? I thought that was mostly a vampire thing. My knowledge of werewolves comes from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Vampire Diaries, and while I don't want to admit it, Twilight. So, basically, if there's a vampire around, there's a werewolf. However, we never meet any vampires in their town. Not that I know of, anyway! 

Scott and Stiles drive to the party in Scott's father's van and we get this very stupid (and dangerous!) scene of Stiles getting on top of the van in a Hawaiian shirt and these stupid yellow sunglasses that have the slat lenses pretending to surf as "Surfing' USA" by the Beach Boys is blasting from the radio. I guess they need this scene to get Stiles out of the car while Scott is driving and notices his ears are pointed (but return to normal when Stiles gets back in the passenger seat). Scott is probably driving a good 40 mph and this scene had to be a huge liability in this movie. I wonder how many stupid teens from the '80s actually tried this? When they get to the party, Scott tells Stiles nobody will ever catch him up there. Just remember that. 

So they go into the party (where there's already a ton of kegs, so they didn't need to go to all that trouble to get one) and a lot of kids are wearing sunglasses. (Stiles is still wearing his). This is SO DUMB. Why would you a) wear sunglasses INSIDE and b) wear sunglasses when it's NIGHT? God, '80s teens were pretty stupid. No offense if you were a teen in the '80s, but you have to admit that's pretty stupid. To be fair, teens at any point in history are stupid. No offense if you're a teen, but once you're older, you'll understand and agree with me. 

Scott sees Pamela and tries to talk to her, but she quickly shoots him down. Boof sees this and gleefully tells him that Pamela spoke more than two words to him this time. 

So there's this sort of sexual game that's super awkward but everyone seems to love to play it (I guess because they're all drunk and horny?) The idea is that each girl picks out a piece of paper with a name of a boy on it and Stiles, who is the host of this game, gives them something to do. For instance, Chubby has to eat a bowl of jello that Stiles dumps down a girl's shirt. If I were that girl, I would be PISSED, but she is whoo hooing and having a grand old time. Guess she was pretty drunk! 

We see Boof has someone named Malcolm. We see Pamela, who is standing right next to her, has Scott. (Oh, if only Scott knew!) Her reaction is rolling her eyes. I thought she was going to trade with Boof (since they're standing right next to each other), but when it's Boof's turn, she lies and says she has Scott. Which, I say, good for her. Go for it. It's not like Stiles or anyone is checking the piece of paper with the name on it! I really thought that Scott was eventually going to find out it was Pamela who actually had his name and he was going to get mad at Boof, but that never happens. Their "task" is that they have to spend two minutes in a closet and "anything goes" which is a little icky. I'm also sure "Two Minutes in a Closet" isn't a thing. Since two minutes isn't really that long, Boof just goes for it and starts making out with Scott. We will later find out that getting turned on makes his lupine side emerge. His claws come out (literally) and she slaps him for being too aggressive. When Stiles opens the door without any warning, the two of them are just standing next to each other and nothing looks out of the ordinary, neither of them are even disheveled. However, when Boof exits the room, we see the back of her shirt is all torn up and her back is a little red (thought not shredded and bloody which you think it would be...guess they didn't want it to be too gruesome or too obvious for the partygoers who don't even seem to notice her shirt is all tore up). I thought this was a good reveal.

Scott knows something wrong is going on with him..even though he's experienced other changes (the ears, the hairy hands) before this and that didn't seem to alarm him, but now he is? Maybe it's because he "hurt" somebody this time. He runs home and upstairs to the bathroom. His dad seems concerned and asks him what's going on behind the closed door. He asks if he can come in (why would you ask that?) and Scott replies with, "I'm doing something in here." Dude, don't respond with THAT. What Scott is "doing" isn't what you think. You see, he can't open the door because he's transferred into a werewolf! Like, full transformation. To me, he almost looks more apelike than werewolf. I wonder if Tim Burton got his inspiration for his Planet of the Apes rendition (which I never saw) because that's what it reminded me of. The best compliment I'll give for the transformation scene is that it wasn't terrible....for 1985. We see him grow fangs, his fingernails grow long and sharp, his eyes protrude from his face, and he is covered in hair. (Fur?) 

His dad orders him to open the door "right this minute" (and uses his full name, so you know he means business!) Scott says "Okay, Dad" and while he is slowly going towards the door to open it, I really thought he was going to change back to his normal self the second before his dad saw him. But instead, he remains a werewolf, but what is even more shocking is that his dad is a werewolf too. He is covered in white fur and looks like the most non-threatening werewolf ever. Now, I actually didn't see the trailer until AFTER I saw the movie because if I had seen it before, I would have been spoiled by this reveal because it is in the trailer! I mean, I guess it really isn't that big of a deal because if he's a werewolf, then it would make sense it's genetic. His dad tells him he never told him about it because sometimes it skips a generation and was hoping it would pass Scott by. I did laugh when MJF says, "Well, Dad, it didn't pass me by. It landed on my face." Oh, and I should mention the trailer blatantly is riding the coattails of BTTF because at the end, the trailer guy says, "Starring Michael J. Fox....star of Back to the Future!" Yep, uh huh, they actually went there. 

But wait a minute! Remember that scene back in the hardware store where the kid is blowing the dog whistle? Why didn't the dad react? I guess you could say he knows how to handle it or they didn't want to reveal the "big surprise" (even though they already did in the trailer), but they could have had him quickly glance up when the whistle is blown, so when people went back to watch the movie, they would have noticed that bit. But, let's be honest, who's going back to watch this movie? 

Scott is too upset to talk at the moment, but the next morning, when he's back to normal, his dad tells him he's going to be able to do a lot of things that other guys can't and Scott snarks back with, "Like chase cars and bite the mailman?" His dad gives him the Spiderman speech: "When you want it, you're gonna have great power. And with great power goes a greater responsibility." Uh, what? I have no idea what "power" he has in this movie. I guess he does have a little more agility than when he's normal Scott, but other than that it's not like he's on Wolverine levels of power. We also find out that his mother, who is now deceased, was also a werewolf. His dad tells him werewolves are people, just like everyone else "with certain obvious exceptions." 

During school that day, Scott has a hard time concentrating and everything seems to remind him of wolves. I always thought werewolves always emerge when there's a full moon, but it seems he can pop into werewolf form at any notice and he needs to know how to control that. 

Stiles is wearing another one of his colorful shirts that would never fly in a high school today, when I went to high school, and I'm pretty sure not back in the '80s! It says, "What are you looking at, Dick Nose?" Nice. Stiles shows us even further what a nice guy he is after school when Scott tells him he needs to tell him something and Stiles replies with, "Are you going to tell me you're [gay]? If your'e going to tell me you're [gay], I don't think I can handle it." Except Stiles doesn't use the word "gay"; he says a very homophobic and terrible word.  F*ck you, Stiles. Seriously, we're not suppose to like this guy, right? Cuz I hated him before this scene, but now I really detest him. Even worse, Scott, who is supposed to be a much better person than Stiles, replies back with, "No, I'm not gay" (again, he doesn't use that word). Also, apparently Stiles thinks Scott being gay is way worse than him being a murderer. Not that Scott is a murderer as a werewolf, but you know, werewolves kinda have that reputation of killing people. Yeah, this movie aged really great! 

In the middle of a basketball game, Scott transforms into a werewolf and this is the only scene I had seen before watching the movie. Whenever I think of this movie (which is pretty much never), I always think of a werewolf playing basketball. As normal Scott, he's in the middle of a big pileup with the ball and you hear a growling noise. After the other players have cleared away, he has become a werewolf and everyone is staring at him. Some people are frightened, but most are just curious. Werewolf Scott just bounces the ball like nothing is wrong and runs and makes a basket (since the other team is doing nothing to stop him), then makes another one and the crowd is cheering. The Beavers are thrilled because now they're winning and have good player on their team.

Nobody seems to have a problem that a werewolf lives in their town or question it all. I mean, good for them, I guess? This town may be homophobic as hell, but at least they're accepting of werewolves, so one step at a time I guess.

We next get a montage of Werewolf Scott enjoying his newfound popularity. He gets free pizza after the game, he is seen walking down the school corridor the next day in his letter jacket and sunglasses listening to his headphones as he slaps high fives to passing student and breaks dance with one of the only black students at the school. Oh yeah, that was a bit cringe-y. He looks absolutely ridiculous. Stiles starts selling wolf merch. T-shirts, bumper stickers, hats, buttons that say "I [heart] Teen Wolf" and "Wolf Fever". My question is why? Who would buy that crap? I bet to this day he still has boxes of all that stuff in his parents' basement. 

Everyone seems to be enamored with Scott the wolf, including Pamela. ESPECIALLY Pamela. She tells him that Kirk, the director of the school play also wants Scott in it a well. The play seems to be some kind of Gone with the Wind ripoff. I had to laugh when Scott is rehearsing (and acting terrible) and Kirk is trying to get his attention by saying, "Wolf...Wolf....Wolf person, whatever your name is." 

Like I said, Pamela is very into Scott the wolf, so much so that she has sex with him (off screen) and she makes sure he's the wolf while they're doing it (hmmm, is she into beastiality?) After their little tryst in the dressing room, they go bowling (Scott is still the wolf) and wouldn't you know it, Mick is there and Pamela makes sure he sees that she is all over Scott and making out with him. When Scott walks her home and asks her to the spring dance, she tells him she's going with Mick because he is still her boyfriend. Um, what? Scott is just as baffled as I am and is all, What about happened this afternoon where we slept together, then went on a date? Well, he didn't say that exactly, but he certainly implied it. Somebody's gotta say it, but Pamela kinds sucks. 

Remember when I said (like two paragraphs ago?) that everyone absolutely loved Scott the werewolf? Well, there are a couple people who don't particularly care for him. One of them is this kid named Lewis, who is friends with Scott and Stiles. He is a couple years younger than him and we see him in a couple scenes with them. He's just sort of there, you know? He doesn't really add anything to the plot. Scott mentions to Stiles that he hasn't seen Lewis in awhile and we find out that he's been avoiding Scott because he's scared of him. And that's that. It's never brought up again. Like, seriously, what was the point? I guess they had to have SOMEONE in this town who was scared of a werewolf. 

Stiles must come from a wealthy family because he's just throwing away money left and right. First it was buying all that useless merch and now he has bought a van that he refurbished so it says "Wolfmobile" on the side and has a terrible drawing of a werewolf on it. I mean, really.  He is about to go van surfing with Scott driving, but Scott changes into werewolf form and tells him, "These waves are mine." I guess Scott the human would never do that, but Scott the werewolf is all about the van surfing. While Stiles is driving the van through town and blasting Surfing' USA, Scott is doing backflips, the splits, and even does a handstand which he holds for a few solid moments. They pass by the hardware store and Scott's dad sees him acting like a jackass and will later tell him he was making a fool of himself. He tells Scott he "needs to get a hold of it", it meaning his werewolf powers, I guess. 

The other person who isn't crazy about Scott the werewolf is Boof. While walking to school together, Boof asks him if he has any plans for the spring dance and that's when he asks her if she would like to go with him and she says she'll go with him, but only with him and not the wolf. He tells her, "I gotta be the wolf. That's what everyone expects." Boof tells him she won't attend the dance with him, but she will save a dance for him. 

When Scott enters the room at prom dressed in a white suit (and of course he arrives as the werewolf), a song called "Big Bad Wolf" starts playing and all the kids part to let Scott into the middle of the room and everyone starts dancing to the song. They do this dance move where they form their hands into claws and swipe at the air.  I have no idea if this song existed before the movie or if it was made specifically for the movie. I'm hoping for the latter because it's kind of a weird song. The lyrics read very sexual (maybe my mind is in the gutter, but I don't think so), but yet there's a line about not looking like a grandma. Like, I get it's a Little Red Riding Hood reference, but this is a weird (and slightly inappropriate for a prom!) song. In fact, all the music in this movie is weird and did not age well as I have never heard of it and I'm guessing not all of these songs were written specially for this movie. There's no way. The songs are much like the actors...I've never heard of them (save for Michael J. Fox, of course).

For some reason, this songs seems to rev up Boof and she takes Scott (who she was dancing with) out into the hall and starts to make out with him. Keep in mind that he's still in wolf form and I thought she didn't like the wolf? I thought she preferred Scott as his human self? I must say Boof looks very '80s in her white strapless prom dress and lace gloves. 

They come back to the dance and Scott is now in human form. Pamela is there with Mick, who looks more like a teacher chaperone than a student because the actor was 27. At one point, it is mentioned he is 20 because he was held back...because he went to jail or something? IDK. And I don't really care. Mick is still jealous because Pamela tells him she will dance with Scott if he asks her. He tells Scott to stay away from Pamela and to "stick with his own kind like that little tramp." He is referring to Boof, but it sounds like he's describing Pamela. This makes Scott angry and he turns into the wolf and slashes Mick's shirt revealing his tattoo and abs. Does he draw blood? No. However, the action of what he's done freaks him out and he vows he's not going to be the wolf anymore and decides to quit the basketball team since he sucks at it when he's not in wolf form. 

But during the last scene, a basketball game between the Beavers and the Dragons (that's Mick's team, remember), Scott comes in during the middle of the game and they let him play. He wants to prove they can win the game without him being the wolf. I'm sure there's some lesson we're supposed to learn here. 

I was very confused. Did they change their mascot to the Wolves? There's a sign that says "Becontown Wolves", but someone is still dressed in the beaver mascot costume. Make up your mind, you can't be both mascots! Also, why didn't they just start out as the wolves in the first place? Maybe they thought it would be too on the nose, but this movie is so stupid, you might as well just have the werewolf play basketball on a team called the Wolves. I mean, why not? 

Scott scores the winning point (of course he does) and an incredibly cheesy, schmaltzy song comes on. You have to read the lyrics to see how bad it is: 

"Funny how sometimes life just changes overnight. Magically, everything you do turns out so right. Just like that you pull rabbits out of your hat. You've got the charm that even wizards can't explain how to make rainbows from a single drop of rain." 

Now that Scott is popular and won the game, Pamela wants to be with him and is going to congratulate him (and make out with him presumably), but he brushes past her to kiss Boof because she's the one he wants to be with. 

The movie ends in the oddest way. It's a still shot of the crowd in the bleachers. Scott is among them with Boof and his dad, but they aren't even centered. In fact, it took a few seconds for my eyes to focus on them because I didn't see the right away! 

Another thing about this movie is that I believe it is set in Nebraska (in the small fictional town of Beacontown) and as someone who lives in Nebraska, this makes me feel deeply ashamed. They never actually say they're in Nebraska, but there are clues such as there's Husker memorabilia in the office of the basketball coach and there's also a Huskers banner or calendar or something in Scott's kitchen. Thank God we have Alexander Payne so nobody immediately jumps to this movie when they think of movies that take place in Nebraska (and at least the Payne movies that take place in Nebraska were filmed here!)

I know there was a sequel to this movie that starred Jason Bateman, who I guess, was a poor man's MJF at the time. I think he's supposed to be Scott's cousin. I guess if his sister in real life can play MJF's sister on Family Ties, then makes sense he can play his cousin! I guess MJF refused to be in the sequel because he hated the original movie. Plus he knew he had something better with Back to the Future, so can you really blame him? I can't. This movie is just terrible.