It's a Stiff!

Weekend at Bernie's

Director: Ted Kotcheff

Cast: Jonathan Silverman, Andrew McCarthy, Terry Kiser

Released: July 5, 1989

Whenever I think of this movie, I think of it as Rachel Green's favorite movie. Remember that episode of Friends where Monica and Rachel are competing against Joey and Chandler where they have to answer a bunch of trivia questions about each other and if Joey and Chandler win (spoiler, they do) they get to switch apartments with the girls and if the girls win, they get....something. It doesn't matter since they lost. Anyway, Ross is asking all the questions and one of them is something along the lines of, "According to Rachel, what is her favorite movie?" They get the answer right, which is Dangerous Liaisons. Then there's a follow-up question where Ross ask, "What is Rachel's actual favorite movie" and Joey quickly replies, "Weekend at Bernie's", which is also correct. That's hilarious. I can see Rachel covering that up by pretending her favorite movie is a little more cultured.

Anyway, can you believe I've never seen this movie until now? Yep, it has always eluded me. But when I saw it was on Amazon Prime, I decided to finally check it out. Of course, I knew the basic premise: there's a dead guy two guys are passing off as being alive. I honestly don't know how all these people can be so stupid and think this man is alive...but, hey, we'll just have to suspend our disbelief with this one. 

Jonathan Silverman (remember him on The Single Guy? That show that was on between Friends and Seinfeld until it got replaced by another show that would eventually get replaced by another show because people only cared about Friends and Seinfeld and not the "filler" shows that were between them) and Andrew McCarthy are Richard and Larry, two twenty-somethings working in corporate NYC. Richard is the more serious of the two, who wants to make sure the work gets done and do the right thing and Larry just wants to party.

Labor Day weekend is right around the corner and it is established that there's a major heat wave. As the weatherman on the radio says, "The Big Apple becomes the Baked Apple" and the weather will be "hot, humid, hazy, and horrible." Yeah, that does sound horrible! I would much rather be cold than hot because it's easier to warm up by throwing on a jacket or sweater. When you're boiling hot, it's very hard to cool down. Now, I'm not talking about negative degrees; I don't like being THAT cold...I just don't mind a chilly, rainy day. I would much rather have that than temps in the high 90s and above. No, thank you! 

So Richard and Larry go into the insurance corporation office where they work. As soon as they get there, Larry (remember, he's the fun one) wants to go to the beach, but Richard (remember, he's the serious one) tells him no. They end up "compromising" and go to the rooftop of Larry's (I'm guessing it was his) apartment building where they have set up a kiddie pool. Even as a small child, I remember kiddie pools being lame. They have printed out pages of boring insurance numbers from the office and have brought those with them. These papers have those perforated edges that you tear off on each side of the paper...haha, remember those kinds of printers? That's how old this movie is. It's so hot that the tar on the rooftop is melting and Larry gets his shoes stuck in them as he stands up to sit in the kiddie pool. 

While Larry is in the kiddie pool bitching about how hot it is and how much he hates his life, Richard is looking at the papers and gets excited, saying he's "got the $2 million." He tells Larry which page and line to look at, but Larry does't see what Richard sees. As he's flipping through the pages, the tar is just getting everywhere on the papers so they have this sticky black substance on them. 

Since Larry has no idea what Richard is seeing, Richard has to explain to him (and us) that on one life insurance policy claim, there was more than one check issued. There were four, in fact: one in December of '87, one in April '88, and two more in June. According to their records, this particular person died four times. Larry says, "Somebody screwed up. It wasn't us, was it?" Richard assures him that it was not them. He tells them they're actually the heroes because they just "uncovered a $2 million error" and that they're "going up the corporate ladder." 

Larry realizes that this is a good thing and says he'll tell their boss first thing in the morning, but Richard wants to tell him. Finally, they agree that they'll both tell him first thing in the morning and they give each other a high five and I thought for sure their hands were going to get stuck since Larry had tar all over his hands, but that doesn't happen. (We have death and mayhem to get to!) 

So this movie has a romantic subplot which I don't know if it really needed. I guess a few funny moments come from it, but it really wasn't necessary to the plot. Richard has a crush on a girl named Gwen, who's worked in his office as a summer intern and will be gone in a week before she goes back to school. (BTW, I looked up the actress, Catherine Mary Stewart, and she was almost 30 when she filmed this...but to give her credit, she does look young, but not quite college young!) When Richard and Larry go into their building the next morning, they see Gwen in front of them (with a bunch of other people) and Larry is (loudly) telling Richard he should ask her out and even though there are other people around, I'm pretty sure she can hear them. After much badgering from Larry, Richard finally decides to talk to her and he stops by her desk to say, "My aunt is very sick" and she just looks very confused. He just runs off after that. Hey, at least he finally said something to her! 

Larry and Richard go to their boss's office, the titular Bernie Lomax (Terry Kiser), to tell them about what they've found, but he's not interested in hearing what they have to say at the moment because it's too early and he tells them to come back "after lunch, quite a bit after lunch." When they do come back after lunch, on their way up to their boss's office, they run into Gwen and she tells Richard that she hopes his aunt feels better. This gives Richard the opportunity to talk to her and later we learn that he scored a date with her. Since we never see this conversation on screen, we never do learn if he told Gwen that he doesn't have a sick aunt, but I'm guessing he didn't.

When Mr. Lomax's secretary calls them in to to talk to their boss, Richard tells him they have been "reprogramming the accounts on the new computer system" and they found something he should know about. After they tell him about what they found, he asks them if they are sure these figures are accurate and they reply with, "Yes, sir" and "Yes, Mr. Lomax."  Their boss tells them to call him Bernie since his father is Mr. Lomax and we get a funny scene where Larry takes it too far when he calls him just "Bern" and his boss says, "E. Bern-ie." Haha!  

There's another small funny moment when they got out the printed pages and Bernie makes a face at the melted tar that is just smeared all over the papers and Larry tells him it's computer ink. Bernie looks at the numbers and tells them they're wrong. He tells them, "There's multiple checks issues because there were several policies written." He explains why there were multiple checks and tells them they're wasting his time. Larry is quick to throw Richard under the bus by telling him that Richard worked on that part. (Let's be honest; Richard did all the work). Richard admits that's true, but tells Bernie if he looks at the index, he'll notice the "remaining polices are dated after the policy holder died." Bernie looks at the numbers again, briefly, then tells him they're right and compliments them on their "very good work." As soon as Richard says, "I hate to say this, but it appears as if somebody is trying to defraud the company," I immediately knew Bernie was the one behind it. I definitely 100% knew he was behind it when he told them he wanted to keep the whole thing confidential and meet with them sometime soon and go over the numbers with them to make sure they got everything 

 

Since Labor Day weekend is right around the corner, Bernie invites them to his beach house on the Hamptons to which they agree. He tells the two guys that he'll have his secretary send them the ferry schedule since that's the only way to get there. We get this funny moment where Richard randomly tells him he's never been on a boat before except for the one time when he was on the Staten Island ferry with his parents and is about to launch into some story about this experience, but Bernie just interrupts him and says, "Whatever, whatever." He tells them to come Friday night and he'll drive him back to the city himself on Monday. 

Of course Richard and Larry are too excited about the upcoming trip (not to mention a little stupid and naive) that little do they know that Bernie is planning on having them whacked. We get an amusing scene transition where Larry tells Richard how, "the man absolutely loves us" after they are given a sincere thanks from Bernie to Bernie at a restaurant telling his mobster friends they need to kill two of his young employees. Bernie has a whole plan worked out where he's going to make it look like a murder-suicide job. He says he'll write the note, plant the money, and they (Larry and Richard) can take the rap and he won't have to change the books. 

His mobster friends are Vito and Paulie (yep, pretty sure these are also character names from The Sopranos!) and they're also joined by Tina, who is Vito's woman. However, Bernie and Tina have a little something going on on the side, but they're not keeping it very secret because Tina keeps making eyes at Bernie and is playing footsie with him and as soon as Bernie leaves, Tina immediately runs after him. Vito knows there's something going on between them and once he and Paulie are the only ones remaining at the table, he tells Paulie to "forget the accident with the two guys." He wants him to take out Bernie for messing with Tina. Tina, btw, is just this stereotypical mobster girlfriend with the tight clothes and gaudy jewelry and crazy hair and she has this Noo Joisey accent where she calls Bernie "Boy-nee". OMG, it cracked me up the way she pronounced his name. "Boy-nee, Boy-nee!" 

Richard has his date with Gwen. They had dinner at a little dive (which we don't see) and as they're walking the busy and loud streets of New York, trying to have a conversation, she tells him she would invite him back to her apartment, but she has five roommates (six girls living in one apartment (and you know it's tiny!)! Can you imagine? That sounds like absolute hell!) and they're all doing their hair. She asks him if he has his own place and he says he does and she suggests they go there. We, the audience, know that Richard, in fact, does NOT have his own place. He lives with his parents (obviously a native New Yorker if his parents live in the city!) I actually thought he was going to take her to Larry's apartment because he does live on his own (albeit in a very small apartment which is in a bad neighborhood) and Larry did offer him his apartment, but he told him no. He takes her back to the apartment he shares with his parents and she's impressed that she can afford an apartment that size and is confused as to why he keeps whispering and tiptoeing around. He tells her the walls are really thin and he doesn't want to wake the neighbors and the people who live below him are light sleepers. 

He then proceeds to tell her a huge lie (even bigger than telling her he has his own place) when she asks how he can afford a place like this and he tells her he doesn't like to talk about his financial success, but that his parents were rather well off, implying that they died. When he tells her they died in a train accident, she says she always thought trains were safer than planes and he says that a plane fell on the train. Now, if I were this girl, I would have a lot of questions. For one thing, I would be asking when this happened. Because if this had happened sometime in the last decade, I feel like you would remember an event like a plane crashing into a train! That seems like a once in a lifetime catastrophe that you would remember. But she doesn't even ask about it. Instead she feels sorry for him and they start making out. Of course, at that moment, his dad walks out of his room and into the kitchen to get something from the fridge and he and Gwen are just sort of watching him. When she whispers to him that there's a man standing in his kitchen, in a hushed tone, Richard replies that that's his butler and if they're keep quiet, he'll just ignore them and go back to bed. Of course we all know he's hoping his dad won't notice him with a girl on the couch in the living room, but of course he does and says, "Sorry, I didn't realize you had company." Richard snaps his fingers and says, "That's all right, Monroe" and asks him to lay out his navy blue suit for tomorrow. His dad replies, "How about if I lay you out" and once he goes back to his room, Gwen asks Richard, "You let your butler talk to you like that?" It's at that moment she realizes that was his dad and Richard was lying to her, so she gets up and leaves. Yeah, Richard really blew that one! 

So now we're finally in the Hamptons (though I learned those scenes were filmed in North Carolina...not that I would know since I've never been to the Hamptons or the coast of NC) and Bernie has arrived at his beach house, which, while impressive on the inside with its massive space that has a piano and a bar and even a pool, it is super ugly on the outside...it just looks like a concrete square. It's like a compound that Osama Bin Laden would have hidden out in (thought he probably wouldn't have a pool or a bar!) It is just such an ugly monstorsity  on the beach and I had to look this up to see if this was an actual home they found on the beach and I was relieved to read that it was just a set they built, so it does not exist in real life. Thankfully.

As soon as Bernie enters his ugly beach house, the phone is ringing and he runs into his office to get it. It's Paulie, the guy who's supposed to kill Richard and Larry. Bernie tells him he's early, that they're coming on the six o'clock ferry, and he still needs to plant the note. Paulie asks him where his house is and Bernie tells him not to kill them while while he's around and Paulie reminds them they're on a phone which made me laugh. Why would you say something like that over the phone? Good Lord! It's probably not a spoiler when I say that this will come back to haunt him (although he will be dead at this point, so kind of a moot point anyway since you can't send a dead guy to jail). Bernie tells him he he just needs to be back in New York with an alibi.  

He has just finished typing the confession/ suicide letter and puts it in a suitcase full of money when he turns around and Paulie is there. He tells him he didn't hear him and Paulie says he's good at that. When Bernie leans over to get a cigarette that Paulie asks for, Paulie shoots him in the butt with heroin. At least, I think it's heroin. I'm not quite sure what it was, but I looked it up on the oh so reliable Wikipedia and that's what they say it was, so we'll go with that. I don't really know that much about heroin...I know taking a lot of it is really, really bad, but would it really kill you that fast? To be honest, I thought he shot him up with something that would just paralyze him and he was actually alive the whole time; he just couldn't move or speak and I was just amazed that this whole time I thought Bernie was actually dead and maybe this was a twist in the movie - but, oh no, he's really dead. He's pretty much a goner in the first thirty seconds he was injected with the heroin (or lethal dose of whatever it was). 

To be honest, when we first learn that Bernie has a hit out on his two young employees, I thought Richard and Larry were going to be the ones to kill him....accidentally, of course. But I can see why the movie didn't want their two protagonists be murderers (even if it was totally accidental or in self defense). They also make Bernie a character where you really don't care if he dies. He doesn't have a family, all he cares about is money and he's really quite rude to everyone. We see an earlier scene of him talking on the phone with the Maserati people telling them he wants a black one and they better paint one black if they don't have a black car to offer him. We also see him with other women, so he's not faithful. Oh, and let's not forget that Bernie is planning on having two of his young employees murdered! All in all, Bernie is kind of a rich, smug jackass. 

When Richard and Larry arrive at the house, they just let themselves in since they're guests (fair enough) and the house is unlocked. We'll soon see pretty much anyone lets themselves in at any time and helps themselves to whatever. They find Bernie sitting at his desk and thinks he's sleeping. Larry slaps him on his cheek, then on top of his head and Richard tells him "Don't slap him! That's your boss!" You think they would be concerned that two slaps have not even stirred Bernie, but they think they just need to move him to the couch to "get the blood circulating". They do just that and Bernie is as limp as can be. You think they would realize by now that he's dead, but no. 

While Larry is making him coffee to help "wake" him up (hell, they could throw hot coffee in his face and he still wouldn't wake up!), Richard finds a syringe and a baggie of cocaine in the pocket of Bernie's windbreaker. He alerts this to Larry who says he didn't know that Bernie was in the "drug scene" and "if he's not careful, he's going to wake up one morning dead." While he's saying this, Richard is holding his sunglasses up to Larry's nose, realize he's not getting any breath residue on them and feels his pulse and it's at that moment he realizes Bernie is dead and tells Larry. They both immedietly think it's suicide (fair enough; the way his body is, there's no evidence of trauma) and Larry says he can't believe he didn't wait until Monday to kill himself, which, I'm ashamed to admit this (well, not really), but that made me laugh. Also, I wonder if he meant Tuesday since it was Labor Day weekend. 

Naturally, Richard's first instinct is to call the police, but then he stops when he realizes he doesn't know what he's going to tell them and that they might think they had something to do with it. I mean, they did have access to Bernie's house and they were the last ones to see him as far as the police are concerned and yeah, it doesn't look too good for them so I can see why he would be concerned about that. 

Remember when I said that people just let themselves into Bernie's house? Well, a bunch of people start arriving because "it's party time." And I mean a lot of people arriving; the house if just flooded with random people who just show up. Well, I guess they're not random to Bernie because it seems like everyone in the Hamptons knows who he is. I guess he's just popular because he's so rich and generously lets anybody into his house. People are helping themselves to drinks at the bar, they're getting into his pool, his house is pretty much much a free for all. 

Nobody has a clue that Bernie is dead and Richard and Larry are just watching all of this in disbelief. Bernie is still propped on the couch and his arms have been posed so they're splayed out on top of the couch. People are coming up to him to say hello and we see several different people have one-sided (of course!) conversations with him. Since Bernie has recently purchased a new car, I guess he is selling his Porsche and one guy comes up to him to ask if he's had a chance to think about his offer for the Porsche. A woman sits right next to him and tells him she hears he's got something for her and she fishes the drugs out of his pocket. Bernie's person trainer comes by to massage his shoulders and tells him he needs to loosen up. 

Once again, Richard decides he should call the police. He is aghast that nobody realizes he is dead. But before he can call them, Larry hangs up the phone. He thinks they can just keep up the charade that Bernie is alive and still have their great weekend in the Hamptons. Richard is totally against this idea, but once he sees Gwen enter the house, he changes his mind. Apparently, Gwen's parents also own a place in the Hamptons and that's why she's there. I'm not sure why Richard is attempting to start something with her again because she's going back to school in a week. Now I don't remember if they told us where she attended college, but even if she did go to school in the city, Richard told her that both his parents were dead when she found out that was clearly a lie. I think this 'ship has sailed! 

But apparently not. They end up at a lighthouse (where the light blinds Richard and he ends up falling down the steps.) They end up on the beach and start making out. While this is happening, Richard looks up and sees that Bernie's corpse has washed up on the beach and is literally just feet away from them! (Don't ask how Bernie ended up there...they had many faux pas with Bernie's dead body). It's quite morbid, but it made me laugh. Richard manages to convince her they need to stop and is able to get her away from the beach without her seeing (or smelling, apparently) Bernie. So I guess Gwen forgave him for lying to her about his parents!

So as you can imagine, a lot of hijinx ensue with Richard and Larry trying to pretend that Bernie is alive. Everyone vacationing in the Hamptons must be really stupid. Or, more likely, they're just hopped up on drugs all the time. That seems to be the most likely explanation. There is one insanely implausible (and gross!) scene where Tina is super pissed at Bernie because he's been ignoring her so she demands to see him. Larry and Richard at first tell her that he's not home, but after she threatens to trash the place, they tell her he's upstairs. They figure that she can be the one to find the body and call the cops. They've both been sitting on the couch for about ten minutes wondering why she hasn't been running down the stairs freaking out and crying. Instead, she moseys on down singing a little tune and says she's "never been better." Yeah, she just preformed necrophilia. Like, how did she not realize what she was doing (like, in the literal sense) and how is that even physically possible? You know what, don't even answer that. I don't want to know. 

While Tina was having her "fun" with Bernie, Paulie was watching the whole thing from outside. (The window shades were conveniently left wide open and he was there to check up on Tina for Vito). So Paulie thinks Bernie is still alive and keeps trying to "kill" him, but whatever he does never seems to work as far as he's concerned. 

One of the stupidest (and by that, I mean one of the funniest) scenes is when Richard and Larry take

Bernie on a boat. For one thing, they can't seem to get the boat started, but once they do, they haven't untied the boat from the dock so they're confused as to why they're not going anywhere until the rope break off. Once they finally get out in the water, they're going so fast and keep having to veer sharply whenever they're about to hit another boat or object in the water. This results in Bernie's body flopping out of the boat, but luckily they've tied his hands to the rope so he's still attached to the boat and it looks like he's water skiing ----just without water skis and his body is just flopping around. OMG, it's so wrong, but it the funniest thing. They go past these metal buoys (not really sure what they were) that make this clanking sound every time Bernie's body hit them and they have no clue what's making that sound until Larry finally looks back and sees that Bernie is no longer in the boat and says, "Man overboard!" So stupid, but so funny! 

There's another time when Richard is about to call the cops once and for all, but he accidentally activates the old phone messages and this is when he and Larry hear the conversation he had with Paulie about killing them. They find the money and note that Bernie had planted. They still think they are in danger and Paulie thinks Bernie is still alive and is still trying to get him out of the picture and it's all one big mess. Meanwhile, Gwen has been trying to find a moment where she can talk to Bernie so she can thank him for giving her the job or something and every time she tries to do this, Larry and Richard make up some excuse as to why he can't talk. Finally, Richard confesses and tells her that he's dead but she doesn't believe him because he told her his parents died and that was clearly a lie. 

She finally does believe him when she sees with her own eyes that Bernie, is, in fact, dead. Paulie has come back to the house to finish off Bernie once and for all and also has plans to kill the others, but his plans are thwarted and Richard manages to call the police who take Paulie away in a straightjacket because he's adamant that Bernie is still alive and they take Bernie's body away in a gurney, but while it's on the dock, it ends up rolling away and his body flips over on to the beach where Richard, Larry, and Gwen are hanging out.

This movie is so stupid and not very realistic. How can a body that's been in the water and sun for the past two days not even have a hint of a foul aroma? Nobody ever acts like they're smelling anything bad when they're in the vicinity of Bernie's corpse. You know that would reek! I will say, that I did laugh quite a few times just for how stupid and ridiculous it was. I will not be watching the sequel because I hear it's awful....like even more awful than this one. Not that I'm surprised by that. 

The (one-hit) Wonders

That Thing You Do!

Director: Tom Hanks

Cast: Tom Everett Scott, Liv Tyler, Steve Zahn, Tom Hanks, Johnathan Schaech, Ethan Embry, Charlize Theron

Released: October 4, 1996

Oscar nominations:

Best Original Song - "That Thing You Do!" (lost to "You Must Love Me" from Evita)

You!

Doing that thing you do!

Breaking my heart into a million pieces

like you always do!

And you!

Don't mean to be cruel!

You never even knew about the heartache

I've been going through.

Well I'm trying and try to forget you girl!

But it's just so hard to do!

Everytime you do that thing you do!

It's probably been well over twenty years since I last saw this movie or heard the song, but I can still sing along to every word; it all just came flooding back to me. I'm pretty sure my family owned the soundtrack (don't quote me on that, but it wouldn't surprise me) and the song is played at least a million times during the movie, so it's no wonder (no pun intended) that I haven't missed a beat (again, no pun intended). Even though I don't remember hearing this song on the radio, it must have been played on popular radio stations because I read it was released as a single. 

It was robbed of an Oscar win for best song. "You Must Love Me" from Evita won instead. The other songs nominated were "Because You Loved Me" from Up Close and Personal; "I've Finally Found Someone" from The Mirror Has Two Faces; and "For the First Time" from One Fine Day. Now I think all those songs cancelled each other out because they were all from romantic or romantic-adjacent movies (two of which starred Michelle Pfeiffer!). So I wan't familiar with "For the First Time" so I went to listen to it. Kenny Loggins sings it and I immediately recognized it when it started playing it. I think it was on a compilation CD of movie songs I owned (back in the heyday when people used archaic artifacts like CDs -ask your ancestors, kids). Funnily enough, this CD also included "I've Finally Found Someone." I don't think of "Because You Love Me" being from a movie; I think of it as a single from Celine Dion's grammy-winning album, Falling Into You. I feel like "You Must Love Me" only won because Madonna sung it and was composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Now if "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" (which wasn't even nominated) had won, I would have been fine with that because that song slaps. "You Must Love Me" is a boring, insipid ballad. What I'm simply trying to say is that from the five nominated songs, "That Thing You Do!" should have won. 

I saw this movie in theaters with my dad. He was a teenager in the '60s, when this movie is set, and played in a band, so of course this movie was made for him. This movie is basically about a small town (Eerie, Pennsylvania) band who are discovered and soon become a national sensation with their hit song, the same as the title of the movie, That Thing You Do! 

Guy (Tom Everett Scott) is asked to fill in as the drummer of a band who his friends are in (I guess Guy isn't initially in the band because he works at his dad's appliance store, I'm not really sure) after the drummer, Chad (Giovanni Ribisi), breaks his arm right before they're supposed to play at the Mercyhurst College Talent Show. The other band members include lead singer, Jimmy (Jonathan Schaech); lead guitarist, Lenny (Steve Zahn); and the bass player (Ethan Embry). For some reason, he is credited as T.B. Player as in The Bass Player, so he wasn't given a name. I'll just refer to him as Ethan. 

This band must have just formed after Jimmy wrote a song called "That Thing You Do!" (you might be familiar with it) and wanted to perform it at the talent show. I say that because when Guy comes over to practice with them after he's replaced Chad their band still doesn't have a name. Jimmy has suggested The Heardsmen and The Chordvettes. As you can see, he likes being creative with how he spells the name. I'm sure there's a word for that, but I have no idea. When Guy asks if they're only playing the one song at the show and Jimmy confirms that, he replies, "Wonderful", emphasizing the "won" sound. Jimmy's girlfriend, Faye (Liv Tyler), is there and she lights up when she hears him say that and tells them they should call themselves The Wonders. Jimmy also likes this idea, probably because he can spell it in a creative (and let's be honest, really dumb) way. On a notepad he writes it as THE ONEDERS. Of course, the other band members thinks it reads as "Oh-nee-ders." They will later write it as One-ders, which is a little better, but why not just write it as 1-ders? Actually, scratch that. Now that I see it, it looks awful written that way. Later, they will spell it correctly, but personally, I think The Wonders is not the best name for a band. Why? Because of one-hit wonders. What if you only have one hit and you're called The Wonders? (And this is pretty much what happens to them.) That's just asking to be mocked. 

They're practicing "That Thing You Do" and it's a slower-paced song than what we will eventually know and love it as. 

At the talent show, Guy brings his girlfriend, Tina. She is played by....wait for it....Charlize Theron! This was one of her first movie roles and I did not remember she was in this at all. I probably didn't remember because she was in this before she was famous and she's not in it that much. She's not really impressed that Guy is playing in a talent show and doesn't seem to be into this whole thing at all. Charlize has bigger and better things ahead for her! 

When it's the One-Ders turn to perform, Guy starts playing the drums really fast and at first there's confusion because that's not how the song is supposed to go, but the rest of the band goes with it and this is probably the best decision Guy ever made because it's going to change all their lives. First of all, everyone loved the song and they won first place - a whopping $100 split four ways. I supposed back in 1964, that was a lot of money. Maybe? 

There's an applause-o-meter chart with different rankings that a girl uses her arm to point to a ranking after each performance depending on the audience's reaction. (Obviously a very scientific method. The rankings include: "You Stink", "Not Terrible", "Good", "Extra Good", "Super", and "Wicked.") Not surprisingly, they got the highest score. 

They later play at an Italian restaurant (of all the random places) and some guy asks them where he can get a record of their songs. This gives Guy the idea for them to do just that. He has a relative "in the record industry" who records church music and he could record their songs for them and sell them for a dollar a piece. They play their songs in a church while his uncle is using some very old-fashioned technology to record them. His uncle is played by Chris Issak of "Wicked Game" fame (you know, the song). 

A guy who introduces himself as Phil Horace comes down to the appliance store to talk to Guy about the band. He wants to take them to rock 'n' roll shows to play their music, specifically "That Thing You Do!" He tells them he can get that song on the radio and if the radio doesn't play the song within ten days he'll tear up the contract. 

We see a scene of Tina at the dentist. She's a first-time patient and is very attracted to her handsome dentist. Later, we will later find out she ends up with him. I'm not really sure what the point of having her in the movie was for; it's no wonder I don't remember Charlize Theron at all in this. I heard the director's cut is two and a half hours (way too long!) and I'm sure we get a lot more backstory with her character. 

The band members (and Faye) are wearing ear pieces, listening to the radio so they don't miss it should their song be played on the radio. Guy is working at the store and his dad yanks it out of his ear and tells him to go help the two women who are looking at stoves. Faye is mailing a letter when a song has just finished and the DJ announces the next song as being from "a local Eerie band" and that they just won the Mercyhurst Talent show. She starts screaming and shrieking and running down the street like a maniac, but her enthusiasm is infectious. She sees Ethan who is coming out of a store and they are shrieking in joy together. They run into the appliance store where Guy's telling the two women what colors the stoves come in and Faye tells him to turn on the radio, so he does. In fact, they go around the whole store turning on several radios. Now you can hear the music more clearly; before it sounded a little more muddled. Outside the window we see Lenny and Jimmy pull up and park right in the middle of the street and run in. Guy's dad and sister (who also works at the store) don't look very happy, but his mother, who is sitting in the back where she's doing some paperwork, is smiling and grooving to the music. This is the best scene in the movie; you can't help but smile when you watch it. It's gotta be pretty exciting when your song is played on the radio! 

Later that evening, Guy calls Tina to ask if she heard the song which played three times on the radio that day and she said she didn't and points out she's heard that song many times already. She doesn't seem to care that his band's song was on the radio. Not the most supportive girlfriend! 

Because of their radio success, they've been invited to play at the Orpheum in Pittsburg (the closest big city to them). This is a big deal for them, but unfortunately it turns out to be a disaster. Right before they're about to start, they notice the mikes not working (didn't someone do a sound check?), then when it's turned on, it gives that awful screeching sound and the entire audience are holding their hands to their ears. Once that's corrected, they start playing the song, but then one of Guy's cymbals fall and it's not a great performance. They're lucking that this was pre-Internet/social media or otherwise this would become viral!

The next day, Phil takes Guy to meet a man named Mr. White who is with Play-Tone records and was in town to catch the show. He is played by Tom Hanks and I didn't catch the characters' first name, but according to Wikipedia, it's Amos. He wants to release their record and add The One-ders to their record label. He's also the first person (outside the band and Faye) to get the pronunciation of the band correct and after he becomes their manager, his first order of business is to have them spell their name as The Wonders so there's no more confusion. Many of the label's bands and artists will be touring state fairs and he wants The Wonders to be one of those bands. 

Their record will be released nationally and they will be doing a lot of promoting of it, mostly on radio shows. Mr. White tells them they will be touring until Labor Day (I think it's the beginning of summer when they start), but Ethan tells them he joined the Marine Corps so he has to report to South Carolina at the end of August, but he can stay with the band until then. Maybe this is the reason Ethan Embry isn't given a name in this movie? But he's still in quite a bit of the movie. Mr. White decides the band needs a gimmick so he give Guy a pair of sunglasses to wear while he's performing and has given him the nickname "Shades". 

Their song ends up hitting #93 on the Billboard 100 charts. It was right below "Viva Las Vegas" by Elvis Presley. I paused the movie to look at the other songs, but I didn't recognize any of them. You're probably wondering if they perform any other songs besides "That Thing You Do!", and yes, yes, they do, but honestly, I don't even remember how they go. I think we hear two other songs. 

After getting a montage of them touring many of the fly-over states, Mr. White tells them that there's been a change of plans and they'll next be flying to Los Angeles because their song has become "the fastest-rising single in the history of the Play-tone label." Not only that, but they also have the number 7 record in the country. Not bad for an amateur band! 

As they're leaving to get into the car to take them to the airport (they're currently in Wisconsin), they are attacked by a mob of screaming girls. One of them even jumps on the car. Honestly, it's so embarrassing and we've seen this from the Beatles to One Direction. (Okay, I know One Direction is old news by this point, but I can't think of anything more current.) On the plane, Mr. White tells them he can get them to appear in a motion picture and The Hollywood Television Showcase. Jimmy is the only one who doesn't seem to care about any of that. He just wants to get into the studio to make some music.

The movie they have a cameo in is some lame film called Weekend at Party Pier and they're wearing sailor outfits, playing their instruments outside of a shrimp shack. The main actors, playing characters named Rick, Anita, and Goofball (what is this? The Archies?) are dancing in front and when they have lines, the music stops, but everyone keeps dancing or pretending to play their instruments as though they're still hearing it. There is no way this is being released in theaters; this has to be a TV movie. I would say it's going to straight to video, but I don't think video rentals were a thing back then (just like they're no longer a thing now, heh). Jimmy thinks what they're doing is pretty lame and I have to agree with him. 

Guy gets the chance to meet his hero, a jazz player named Del Paxton when he goes to a jazz bar and is introduced to him by the cocktail waitress (played by Rita Wilson). The old man gives the young musician some sage advice: since bands come and go, he's "got to keep on paying, no matter with who." You could also call this foreshadowing. (Because The Wonders won't last, spoiler alert!)

When they're about to be on the Hollywood Television Showcase, everyone is there except the unnamed bass player. Nobody knows where he is, so Mr. White just brings in a new member named Scott Pell who goes by the nickname Wolfman. I guess since he knew they would be losing their bass player anyway, he had somebody waiting in the wings. It's funny that this guy gets a name and nickname and poor Ethan Embry's character didn't get either! By the way, he was at Disneyland. I guess he didn't take this band that seriously! 

We see some acts/interviews before them and one is astronaut Gus Grissom and he is played by Bryan Cranston and as someone whose favorite show is Breaking Bad, this was very amusing to see. So I did a quick deep dive on him (Gus Grissom; not Bryan Cranston): he was a pilot in the United States Air Force and was selected by NASA for Project Mercury, which trained and launched astronauts into outer space. (Yes, I got this from Wikipedia.) The movie The Right Stuff is all about Project Mercury and Fred Ward played him in the movie. Sadly, Grissom died long before the movie was released in 1983. I noticed on his Wikipedia page that he died at the age of 40 in 1967 in Cape Canaveral and right away I knew he died of something going wrong on a launch. And, yes, during a pre-launch test, the command module interior caught fire and Grissom and two other astronauts were killed. Anyway, back to something a little more light-hearted...(or maybe not, but at least nobody dies in a horrific way in this movie...)

While they play their hit song, we see the camera zoom in individually on all the band members with their names on the bottom of the screen. When they get to Jimmy, there's added text that says, "Careful girls, he's engaged." I mean, c'mon, why do they need to add that? It's not like these girls would have a chance with him anyway! Jimmy sees this on the monitor and he's not singing enthusiastically as he once was.
He's not very thrilled by this. 

We get a funny moment where Guy's family and Chad (the original drummer that Guy replaced) are watching the show on the TV and his mom yells, "Quiet down, I'm trying to hear it!" even though nobody is talking. 

Afterward, in the dressing room, Jimmy yells at Faye, asking her where she got the idea they were engaged and that's "the last thing [he] needs." But it wasn't Faye who told the producers to write that on the screen (I don't think she would even have the authority); it was Mr. White. Oh, and if you're wondering why Faye has been following them around the country even though she's not in the band, there's really no good reason aside from the fact that she's Jimmy's muse. A sad-looking Faye addressed Jimmy in front of everyone and tells him she's breaking up with him and "I have wasted thousands and thousands of kisses on you...shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed so tight." In my mind, I can see Peter Jackson watching this movie and when he sees Liv Tyler looking so sad he knew right away he had found his perfect Arwen! And also because Liv Tyler is so, so pretty and would make the perfect elfin princess. 

The band ends up breaking up because Jimmy wants to record his own music, Leo has gotten married (and soon divorced) and Guy ends up with Faye. Throughout the movie we see little snippets that he likes her, so it's not a big surprise that they end up together. 

Live From New York

Saturday Night

Director: Jason Reitman

Cast: Gabriel LaBelle, Rachel Sennott, Dylan O'Brien, Lamorne Morris, Nichloas Braun, Matthew Rhys, Willem Dafoe, J.K. Simmons

Released: September 27, 2024

This is a movie about the very first episode of Saturday Night Live which aired on October 11, 1975 (nearly 50 years ago!). Correction: This is a movie about the chaotic ninety minutes before the very first episode of SNL went live. 

Like Jeopardy, SNL is one of those shows that has always just been around all my life. And also like Jeopardy (which is a show SNL loves to parody!), while I don't watch it religiously, I've seen my fair share of episodes. It's just so engrained in the culture. I'll talk about my history with SNL later. 

I'm pretty sure they took more than a few liberties with this movie. If everything that happened in this film actually happened in real life, there's no way this movie would exist because SNL wouldn't have existed. I'm not saying that all the problems and obstacles they run into didn't happen in real life, but I just doubt they all happened ninety minutes before the show started! But who knows. 

The movie begins with a title card that has a quote from Lorne Michaels: "The show doesn't go on because it's ready; it goes on because it's 11:30." 

Everything is set in pretty much real time as the audience is following a very young Lorne Michaels (Gabriel LaBelle) around as he's getting ready for the first episode. Of course, we follow other main players around, but for the most part, we are with Lorne. You kind of have to already know the people involved in this world because they just throw them in, expecting you to already know them. For instance, there's this guy named Dick who is usually with Lorne, giving him advice. It wasn't until someone had called him "Ebersol" did I realize it was Dick Ebersol, who was the Vice President of NBC. He and the President of NBC were the ones who approached Michaels about creating a variety show for Saturday nights on NBC (I read that on Wikipedia). 

Backstage is just chaotic with actors, writers, producers, musicians everywhere; props and sets are being built and/or tested; there are sound checks and light checks. Nothing seems to be organized. During a skit they're rehearsing, the lights from above fall down, causing major commotion. Luckily, nobody was hurt, but it did start a fire on the couch. Can you imagine if that happened live? (Though I'm guessing the screen would go to static very quickly!) 

The original cast members are Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, Garrett Morris, Jane Curtain, Laraine Newman, and Gilda Radner. I think they did a good job of casting people who looked similar to them (someone tall and lanky for Chase) and could do the voices. I was only familiar with two of the actors they cast for these roles: Dylan O'Brien as Dan Aykroyd (I've never seen any of his stuff, but I had heard of him) and Lamorne Morris as Garrett Morris who I knew from New Girl. 

Garrett Morris (who is still alive at 88 and presented a clip at SNL's 50th anniversary show) has a bit of an identity crisis as he is the oldest cast member and the only black cast member (the only non-white cast member, really). He's wondering why he was cast and is worried he'll only be regelated to stereotypical roles like "the butler, the shoeshine guy, or the pimp." 

Chevy Chase just comes off as an ass****, and yeah, that tracks. There's a huge altercation between him and John Belushi. It's obvious he's already looking for ways to become the next big star and it makes sense that he was the first to leave the show and gain success (and Clark Griswold will always have a special place in my heart). Gildra Radner just comes off as super loopy and I was like, wait, I thought John Belushi was the one who did drugs. Speaking of him, he's babied by Rosie Shuster (Rachel Sennott) who was Lorne's wife at the time and a writer for SNL. Belushi is not happy that he has to shave his beard or that he has to wear a bee costume for a skit. She keeps placating him and telling him that he's the star of the show and all the girls are going to love him and it was so weird. Granted, she could be doing all that because they go live in thirty minutes and he still has't signed his contract yet.

There's a few scenes of men smacking women on the butt, but it's okay because the women will smack the men right back. Yeah, different times back then! Another sign you can tell it's the '70s is that everybody is smoking.

On the wall there is a huge bulletin board covered with index cards that have all the different segments that will be on the first episode and what time they'll go on. We find out that there will be four host monologues, two stand-ups, two musical performances by two musical guests, a solo piece by Andy Kaufman, five commercial parodies, Weekend Update, a film by Albert Brooks, a muppet skit featuring Jim Henson's muppets, and seven additional sketches! I'm sorry, but what the f**k? There's NO WAY they can fit all of that in an hour and a half show (probably more like a little over an hour with the (non-parodying) commercials)! As a page points out to Lorne, the dress rehearsal was three hours. Honestly, I'm surprised it wasn't longer! Lorne seems positive that everything will fit and says there's something for everybody. That may be true, but he must be on something if he thinks all of that is going to fit in one episode (it was the '70s, after all)! 

Let's take a moment to unpack all the segments they have planned for the first episode because I have a few questions:

-Four host monologues: George Carlin was the first ever host of SNL (he's played by Matthew Rhys). I read that he wasn't in any skits, but instead did a monologue and appeared three mores times to do a stand up routine. I guess they originally wanted him to do four monologues, but why? I admit I've never watched any of the early days of SNL (maybe a few sketches, but that's it) so I don't know when it started to feel more like the SNL I grew up with and the one we're all familiar with today. But four monologues just seems insane and redundant! 

-Two stand ups: At first I thought these were for George Carlin and I was so confused why he would need four monologues and two stands up and was wondering what the difference was, but I think these were for Billy Crystal and Valri Bromfield. We see the up and coming talents backstage and both are worried that their routines are going to be cut (because they see the board!) and Billy tells Lorne that they both want four minutes each. In the end, Lorne tells them he can only give them two minutes and Billy says he can't set up in that amount of time and when Lorne asks Valerie if she can do hers in two minutes, she tells him she can. I've never heard of Valri Bromfield and I looked up her Wikipedia page and she's done stuff, but certainly doesn't have the career like Billy Crystal. So what I guess I'm trying to say, it seemed to work out in the end for him.

-Two musical guests each with two musical performances: this one surprised me a lot. I'm used to one musical act with two performances. The first musical guests on SNL were Billy Preston and Janis Ian. I admit, when someone mentions "Janis" rehearsing, I thought they were talking about Janis Joplin. I've never heard of Janis Ian. Though I guess if I knew anything about music history, I would know that Janis Joplin died in 1970 (yes, I just looked that up on Wikipedia). Like, I knew she died at a young age, just didn't know when. According to nbc.com where I'm getting all my information about the first episode, they both performed two songs each. I'm honestly surprised they didn't cut them down to one song each. I looked at the musical guests for the rest of the first season to see if they learned their lesson and it seems to be all over the place. The second episode had four (4!!!!) musical acts, the third episode didn't have any, then for the rest of the season, sometimes it's only one and sometimes it's two. Season two still has a few episodes with two musical guests, but mostly it's just one. 

-A solo piece by Andy Kaufman/a skit featuring Jim Henson's muppets - I put these two together because Nicholas Braun (who I recognized because I'm watching Succession (along with a million other shows) at the moment) plays both Andy Kaufman and Jim Henson (luckily they're never in a scene together!) and according to the article I referenced before, both of these made the show. The only thing I know about Andy Kaufman is that the R.E.M. song "Man on the Moon" is about him and Jim Carrey played him in Man on the Moon, a movie I've never seen. Either the movie ripped off the title of the R.E.M. song (it was released seven years after the song) or there's some reason why he's called "the man on the moon", but I really don't care that much to research it. 

-"Weekend Update" (I have no idea if that should be italicized or in quotes or just left alone) - even after fifty years, some things never change. "Weekend Update": has always been a part of SNL (although it did try new formats and changed its name to "Saturday Night Newbreak" and "SNL Newbreak" which just don't sound as good) but that makes sense because the news provides a great source for comedy. When they're rehearsing for the first ever "Weekend Update", we see Lorne Michaels sit in as the anchor and I was like, Whaaat? because I had no idea he was ever supposed to have a part in the show. Whenever we see him, he's always just playing himself, for a few minutes, usually in the monologue. When he's rehearsing, he's reading the cue cards but nobody laughs. John Belushi plays the meteorologist for the weather report and is talking about how March sometimes goes in like a lion and out like a lamb or vice versa and starts commenting about how other countries use different animals. This doesn't really make sense because the first episode ever of SNL aired in October (October 11, 1975, to be exact). Also, he ends up just screaming and everyone is laughing like it's funny, but it's not. 

-Five commercial parodies - usually SNL only has one parody commercial, so I was shocked when they had five. I read that they played one during a break between Weekend Update and I assume they played another one at the beginning of the show, so I'm not sure where the rest were sprinkled throughout or if they ended up playing all five during the first show. Surely, three of them got axed! Why not save them for other shows so they're spread out a little? 

-A film by Albert Brooks - I don't really have anything to say about this. I don't even know if they played this during the show or it got moved to another episode. 

-Seven additional skits - I still can't believe they wanted to show all that, PLUS seven additional skits! Did they not know the concept of time back in the '70s?!

Lorne has to meet with about fifty NBC executives in the green room. They are with affiliates from all across the country and will decide if the show is good enough to continue to air. Chevy is there to do some stand up, and, yikes, lots of racist and sexist jokes. Again, a very different time in our history. Lorne tells them about some of the stuff they'll be seeing tonight and adds, "There's never been a television show made for or by the generation that grew up watching television." That is pretty cool when you think about it that way. Lorne has admired to Dick Ebersol that he doesn't know what the show is, but once he sees it, he'll know. That seems like something you should know before the show goes on national television! 

At one point we see Don Pardo practicing announcing all the cast members' names. When he gets to Dan Akroyd's last name, he struggles with it and says, "How the f*** do you pronounce it?" You think he would have known that much earlier than thirty minutes before they go to air! Whoever played him, did a great job of emulating his voice. As soon as I heard him, I was like, Oh, yeah, that's the announcer guy from SNL. 

Lorne gets a phone call from Johnny Carson (we only hear his voice and whoever did his voice did a very good job) who basically tells him that his (Lorne's) show (meaning SNL) isn't going to last and that it's his (Carson's) f***ing network" and his (Carson's again) night. So I was confused when he said that because I thought hisbshow aired Monday through Friday, you know like most late night talk shows. I tried to look this up and from what I could gather, they showed reruns of The Tonight Show on the weekends. (Seems like overkill to me.) Or at least on Saturdays. Sounds to me like every night was Johnny's night! I knew The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson was on for a long time, but I had no idea it was on for forty years, running from 1962-1992! I also had no idea it was filmed in New York the first decade before moving to Burbank. Anyway, not sure why Carson was so angry. He still had his show. 

Willem Dafoe plays Dave Tebet, who is head of talent (I'm not sure exactly what his job was, but I looked him up and he's the guy who found Johnny Carson to fill in for the host before him (the hell? I thought Johnny Carson WAS the first ever host! TIL something new!). For some reason Milton Berle (played by J.K Simmons) is there and Tebet introduces Lorne to him. We find out that 97% of the American viewing audience was watching his show which is insane, but then again, back then they only had a limited amount of channels they could watch. The only thing I've ever seen Milton Berle was when he was in an episode of Beverly Hills, 90210, lol. I think he played some guy at an old folks' home that Brandon was volunteering at. Berle is depicted as having a huge ego (and a huge appendage which he flashes at Chases's girlfriend (fiancee?) who he's blatantly hitting on in front of Chevy. He comes off as a creepy old man, hitting on all the pretty younger women. We get a little foreshadowing when Milton tells Lorne that he's looking forward to hosting the show and Tebet tells him they'd be honored to have him. I say foreshadowing because he did host in season four but was banned from ever hosting again and it was 30 years before the show was aired again as a rerun. I guess he was very arrogant, thinking he was better than everybody (I mean, when you have 97% of the American television viewing audience watching you in your prime, you'd probably have an ego the size of Alaska too) and his jokes weren't funny and nobody liked him. Anyway, I read that there's no proof that Berle was at the studio on the first night of SNL's airing, but they probably just wanted that in there because of his reputation with SNL...but that's just speculation on my part. 

Tebet tells Lorne he's heard that there's been some issues, but Lorne assures him that everything is under control. Tebet says "If, for some reason you can't lock your script or commit your cast to legally binding contacts, rest assured, the country will be happy to watch Johnny Carson." Sounds like a threat to me! Lorne replies that could just play the tape of the dress rehearsal. We see that the tape for The Tonight Show is cued up and ready to go just in case. 

It's getting closer to going live and everything is still in chaos. Dick Ebersol tells Lorne that they should forgo the show this week and "come back stronger next week, debut with Paul Simon." Paul Simon was the second ever host of SNL (though not the musical guest for some reason, I guess the days of having someone host and be the musical guest wasn't invented quite yet) and having him be the first ever host would make more sense in hindsight because of his relationship with the show. He's hosted four times and been a musical guest 13 times and was at the 50th anniversary show. George Carlin only hosted twice. Now, to be fair, they couldn't see the future, but yeah, Paul Simon would have been a pretty epic first ever host. Lorne refuses and still wants to go on with the show and Dick tells him that NBC wants him to fail because they "make more money playing reruns of The Tonight Show." (I guess because more people will be watching it?) The reason they don't just do that is because "it's a contract dispute - they're trying to prove to Johnny Carson that the reruns are inevitable so they built a show that was guaranteed to fail." They don't think a ninety minute live show with a bunch of unknowns will last. Dick predicts that they'll play the Carson tape. 

He finally gets John Belushi to sign his contact (I think? We never actually see him sign anything, but he was a cast member, so he must have) and now there's fifteen minutes to the show. Finn Wolfhard (who I am shocked has never hosted; I feel like he or Millie Bobby Brown should have hosted by now!) plays an NBC page whose job is to get people off the street to come in for a free show and he manages to get a pretty good crowd. 

Now there's ten minutes to go and Tebet tells Lorne the show's not ready and they're going to play the Carson tape. Lorne rebuffs this and Tebet  wants him to show him something to prove that show is good enough to go on air. Andy Kaufman is on stage ready to perform and Lorne puts on the Mighty Mouse theme song (with a record player, no less) and Kaufman lip-synchs to the "Here I come to save the day" part. Everyone (except Tebet) is laughing, but personally, I didn't get it. They next perform Weekend Update and as a last minute change Lorne tells Chevy to be the anchor. While all this is going on, all I can think is, I can't believe they're doing all of this with ten minutes before the show is supposed to start. Shouldn't Tebet have watched the dress rehearsal? 

There is some tension right before they're to go live. Are they gonna air the show live or will they play the Carson tape? There are literally five seconds left when a guy in the control room asks if they're going live or to the tape. But, of course, as we all know, the show airs. (This movie wouldn't exist if it hadn't!) Tebet is the one who tells him to go live. 

The movie ends with the very first skit of SNL (with John Belushi and Michael O'Donoghue, a head writer) called where Belushi plays a foreigner (from Eastern Europe, I'm guessing from its accent) who is learning English from O'Donoghue's character. The skit really isn't that funny (but that's SNL for you, sometimes the skits can be hilarious and other times, they can fall flat and sometimes they're just meh) and the most iconic part is when Chevy Chase comes onto the set when the skit has ended wearing a headset and utters the iconic phrase for the very first time, "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!" 

I first started watching SNL in the early '90s when I was probably too young and I'm sure many of the jokes and all the political stuff flew over my head. I do remember getting a kick out of Toonces the driving cat. I started watching in the Phil Hartman era and he was my favorite cast member (and he'll always be my favorite Bill Clinton) during this time. One of my absolutely favorite sketches from this era was when Chris Farley played a motivational speaker who "lives in a van down by the river!" LOL, I'll still quote that every now and then. There's so many great skits, that I'd really have to think about my favorite. Maybe one day I'll post my top twenty SNL sketches after I've had time to review them. 

I have't watched the show live in many years; now, thanks to YouTube I just watch the clips at my own leisure. I'll find some from, like eleven years ago that I had never seen before. 

How about a couple of SNL fun facts? The show has had many young hosts, many in their earlier 20s and a handful of 17, 18, and 19 year olds, but do you know how old the five youngest hosts were? I knew the three youngest already, but didn't know who rounded out the top five.

5. Malcolm Jamal Warner (Theo from The Cosby Show) was 16 when he hosted in 1986. 

4. Jodie Foster was 14 when she hosted in 1976. Sometimes I forget that she was a child actor.

3. Fred Savage was 13 when he hosted in 1990. 

2. Macaulay Culkin was 11 when he hosted in 1991.

1. Drew Barrymore was 7 (yes, SEVEN!) when she hosted in 1982, obviously promoting E.T. I watched her monologue and while she is very adorable, it's a little cringe. No fault of her, though. She comes out with one of the cast members (I don't know who, I'm not familiar with that era except for Eddie Murphy and Julia Louis-Dryfus and it wasn't either of them). They talk about E.T. for a few minutes, which is fine, but then he asks her which cast member she would marry. Like, why are we asking a seven-year-old which adult she would marry? It's so weird. 

I recently learned that a total rand-o once hosted this show. And when I say rand-o, I mean a civilian. Someone who isn't an actor or musician or athlete or politician or isn't in the pubic eye at all. In 1977, there was a contest called "Anyone Can Host" where anyone off the street could write an essay (of 25 words or less, IDK why that made me laugh so much when I read that) of why they would be a great host for the show. An 80-year-old German immigrant from New Orleans named Miskel Spillman won. And the crazy thing is, they knew how old she was when she was selected. According to the Wiki article on this, her essay was "I'm 80 years old. I need one more cheap thrill, since my doctor told me I only have another 25 years left." Yes, it was funny, and I'm not trying to be ageist or anything, but why are we asking an 80 year old nobody to host this show? To be fair, I think this was a terrible idea no matter how old the civilian host would have been. Nobody wants to tune in to watch SNL when it's hosted by a mere mortal. Oh, well, I'm sure her friends and family enjoyed the show! She would be the oldest person to host the show (not a shock!) until Betty White hosted 32 years later (!!) in 2010 when she was 88. At least Betty White was and will alway remain a National Treasure. I watched the episode (usually skipping ahead quite a few times) and it wasn't that great. She was only in a few skits (probably for good reason) and didn't have good comedic timing and was blatantly staring at the cue cards. Not that I blame her because she's not a trained actor, but they obviously learned their lesson because that never happened again! 

I already mentioned the skit where Chris Farley plays a motivational speaker is one of my faves, so here's a clip of that if you've never seen it:

The Canadian and the American

The Proposal

Director: Anne Fletcher

Cast: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, Betty White, Mary Steenburgen, Craig T. Nelson, Malin Akerman

Released: June 19, 2009

Viewed in theaters: June 20, 2009

Ironically, Ryan Reynolds is not the Canadian! 

If you haven't seen this very mid romcom from 15 years ago, I will be spoiling some aspects of it. Even if you've never seen it, you can probably guess what happens at the end because it's a very cliche, very formulaic romcom. Look, we all love Sandra Bullock; we all love Ryan Reynolds; and we all love National Treasure Betty White, but this is a very underwhelming and forgettable movie. But I still want to warn about spoilers just in case. 

I had seen this movie before and the only thing I remembered is that Bullock and Reynolds have to pretend to be engaged, but I couldn't remember why. I told you it was forgettable!

Margaret Tate (Bullock) is the editor-in-chief of a book publishing company in New York called Colden Books (which I read as Golden at first when I saw a sign for it) and Andrew Paxton (Reynolds) is her assistant. Margaret is very businesslike and no-nonsense and all the employees are terrified of her. They were clearly taking a page out of The Devil Wears Prada. 

Margaret has convinced one of their writers, a recluse named Frank, to promote his book on Oprah. She fires an editor named Bob Spaudling because he was the one who was supposed to convince Frank to do Oprah, but he never even attempted to ask him. 

She tells Andrew she's going to need his help this weekend and he tells her he was going to go home for the weekend for his grandma's 90th birthday, but tells her he can cancel it. 

Margaret is called to talk to two of the head honchos who run the company. One of them asks her if she remembers when they agreed she wouldn't go to the Frankfurt Book Fair because she wasn't "allowed out of the country while [her] visa application was being processed?" She did end up going because they were going to lose one of their authors to another publishing company and she managed to stop that from happening. Because of this, they spoke to her immigration attorney and her visa application has been denied and she hasn't filled out some paperwork in time and now she's being deported back to her home country of Canada. I did laugh when she says, "Come on! It's not like I'm even an immigrant! I'm from Canada!" They tell her she can reapply, but she'll have to leave the country for at least a year. She says it won't be too bad because she can work from Toronto, but they tell her she won't be able to work for an American company. Until this is resolved, they're going to "turn operations over to Bob Spaudling". (I guess it doesn't matter that she just fired him.) This makes her irate and even they'd rather have her stay and tell her if there was "any way at all they could make this thing work, they'd be doing it." (Boy, everyone must hate Bob!) 

Now, I know nothing about the immigration process and obtaining visas and all that, but are they really that concerned about a woman from Canada who has a good job with a steady income and hasn't had any trouble with the law? It seems like someone like her wouldn't be their first priority. It seems like she's been in New York for a long time (she'd have to be to have the job she has!), but why was her visa application being processed? I get the sense that the Frankfurt Book Fair was recent, so why - oh, you know what? It really doesn't matter. I get that they need this as part of the plot. Like I said before, I couldn't remember why she and Ryan Reynolds were pretending to her engaged, but as soon as this scene came on, it all made sense (in a non-sensical way!).

At that moment, Andrew pops in, telling her someone's on the phone and they need to speak to her right away, but he told her that she was "otherwise engaged." Hearing that word prompts Margaret to get an idea and you can practically see the wheel turning in her head. She motions for Andrew to come over next to her and she announces to the two men that she and Andrew are engaged. By the look on Andrew's reaction, you can tell he's surprised, but the two men seem to believe her for whatever reason. Maybe they're turning a blind eye because they did say they wanted Margaret to stay onboard. 

I realize she just came up with this idea, but you would think she would talk to him about this BEFORE ambushing him, but I guess it's not as funny and maybe this way he feels like he's forced to go along with it. There is a funny moment when one of the men says to Margaret, "Isn't he your secretary?" (and Andrew is quick to respond "assistant", but that's not the funny part I'm talking about) and she replies, "It wouldn't be the first time one of us fell for our secretaries, Edwin" and the guy who's not Edwin looks at Edwin in surprise. 

When Margaret and Andrew are back in her office, he tells her he's not going to marry her and she tells him that Bob is going to fire him once she's gone and all the time they spent together, "all the lattes, all the canceled dates, all the midnight Tampax runs, were all for nothing. All your dreams of being an editor are gone." She says the'll get a divorce after "the required allotment of time." Ryan has been Margaret's assistant for three years and his dream is to become an editor, so he agrees to help her. Of course, he's not thrilled about it, but a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. 

They meet with an immigration lawyer named Mr. Gilbertson and he starts the meeting by asking them, "Are you both committing fraud to avoid her deportation so she can keep her position as editor in chief at Colden Books?" It's pretty funny that he hit the nail right on the head. He does admit he got a phone tip from a man named Bob and Margaret tells him that he "is nothing but a disgruntled former employee." 

He explains how the process will work: there will be a scheduled interview where he will talk to them each separately and ask them questions to see if they match, he will look at phone records, and talk to neighbors and co-workers. If their answers don't line up, Margaret will be deported "indefinitely" and Andrew will "have committed a felony punishable by a fine of $250,000 and five years in prison. To me, this is not worth doing! Margaret only has to go to Canada for a year; it's not like she's being deported to Afghanistan! I get that the stakes are higher because her job is at stake, but it's pretty stupid for Andrew to risk five years in prison. I don't think the $250,000 is a big deal for him, because later we'll find out his family is loaded. However, Andrew sticks with the story and tells him they're "just two people who weren't supposed to fall in love." He sneakily adds that they didn't want to say anything because of his upcoming promotion to become editor. 

Mr. Gilbertson asks if their parents know about their relation and Margaret says hers are dead, but that they're going to tell Andrew's parents when they see them this weekend to celebrate Andrew's Gammy's 90th birthday. Honestly, I'm shocked she even remembered him talking about that because it seemed like she was barely paying attention to what he was saying. When asked where Andrew's parents live, she scoffs and asks "Why am I doing all the talking?" and tells Andrew that he should tell him where it is since it's his parents' house. This right here should have been major red flags to the immigration lawyer. But to be fair, he is pretty skeptical throughout the movie. He just doesn't seem to question it in this moment. When Andrew says his parents live in Sitka, Alaska, Margaret doesn't seem to be too thrilled. Okay, a couple of things:

1. I wouldn't be thrilled if I was going to Alaska either, especially for the weekend. (They go for a long weekend since they are there for four days, but still!) A long-ass flight to Alaska to only be there for four days is not worth it! They will fly first class from New York to Juneau, then take a jumper plane to Sitka. Now I'm not sure if there were any layovers on their way to Juneau, but a nonstop flight is about eight hours. You can fly to London from New York with one less hour. Actually, a flight from New York to London would be two hours less because I forgot to account for the one hour flight they take from Juneau to Sitka. 

2. How the hell did Margaret not know that Andrew is from Alaska? They've known each other for three years and that never came up? Alaska is one of those places where I think you would remember if someone said they were from there. 

When they leave the office, Margaret tells Andrew that him saying he was being promoted was "genius", but obviously he was being serious and told her that he would need some kind of incentive for him to go along as he could be sent to jail for doing this. Hell, I don't blame him! At first, she refuses to give him the promotion and he tells her he quits and starts walking away, but she quickly agrees that she'll make him editor if their little ploy works. He also says that he wants her to publish his manuscript and adds that he'll tell his family about the engagement when he wants and how he wants. 

Their separate interviews are schedule for eleven on Monday, so on the l--o--n--g flight to Juneau they have plenty of time to study up on each other. Andrew already knows a fair amount about Margaret, but she hardly knows anything about him. They are looking at questions that will be asked and I'm surprised that they are able to study for their interview and will have plenty of time to make sure their answers match. 

When they reach Sitka, they are greeted by Andrew's mom, Grace (Mary Steenburgen), and his Gammy, Annie (Betty White). Gammy asks Margaret if she prefers to be called Margaret or "Satan's Mistress". It seems this his family knows that he strongly dislikes his boss, but yet they don't really seem to question why he's all of a sudden dating her. I guess they're just happy that he's visiting because we'll later learn that he only visits about every three years. I just assumed because it was too far away, but it's because he has a strained relationship with his dad, Joe (Craig T. Nelson).

When they're driving from the tiny airport, this is when Margaret and the audience realize that Andrew comes from a wealthy family (he's "an Alaskan Kennedy" as Margaret will call him) because there's many shops and businesses with "Paxton" in the name.

Margaret and Andrew were originally going to stay in a hotel (most likely two separate rooms), but Grace tells them she cancelled their reservations because they want them to stay in their home. This makes sense since he is their son and he is visiting with his girlfriend. Not to mention, they have plenty of room in their house. Their house is on an island and they have to take a boat to reach it. They have to climb down a ladder to the dock where the boat is docked. One moment that genuinely made me laugh out loud is when Andrew throws Margaret's Louis Vuitton suitcase into the boat, but it bounces off the dock and lands in the water. He says "Five second rule" as he quickly fishes it out. (I thought it was three seconds!)

It's so awkward watching Margaret climb down the ladder to the dock because she's wearing heels and it reminded me of Cameron Diaz wearing heels in The Holiday when she's walking down the snowy road with her luggage. 

When they reach the house, Andrew's mom tells him they invited 50 of their closest friends and neighbors to meet Margaret. Um...aren't they having a big party for Gammy in a couple of days? Wouldn't the smart thing be for their friends and neighbors to meet her then? I'll tell you one thing...if I were just on a ten + hour flight, the LAST thing I would want is some big party to attend where the point is for everyone to meet me. Even if I WASN'T pretending to be engaged to someone! That seems like my worst nightmare. 

At the party, Margaret is pretty much introduced to only two people: Andrew's dad and his ex girlfriend, Gertrude (Malin Ackerman). We find out why Andrew and his father have a strained relationship: Joe wanted Andrew to stay in Sitka to help with the family businesses when he retires soon and isn't happy that he ran off to New York to become an editor's assistant. He knows his son hates Margaret and thinks he's only dating her to "climb the corporate ladder". Remember when Andrew told Margaret that he would decide when they would announce his engagement to his family? (Of course you do! It was only a few paragraphs ago!) Well, he chooses this moment to tell his dad about the engagement, then soon finds himself telling the entire party. 

While this is going on, a waiter serving hors d'oeuvres had just put a bite of something (lobster maybe?) into Margaret's mouth (like physically puts it into her mouth even though she told him she didn't want one) and this is the exact moment she hears Andrew announce to everyone they're engaged and she ends up spitting it out. The waiter is named Ramone and there's a running gag where he has many jobs throughout this movie, so this is sighting and job #1. 

Gertrude asks the newly engaged couple how Andrew proposed and both Grace and Gammy also want to hear this story. You would think Andrew and Margaret would realize there would be a good chance they would be asked this questions when they announced their engagement and they would have already come up with a story, duh. But I get it; it's funnier this way, and, besides, they were probably too busy going over the questions they would need to answer for their interview. 

Of course, neither want to tell the story since there is no story to tell! I'm trying to think what I would do if I were in this (highly unlikeable) situation. If the other person tells the story, you don't have to worry about coming up with an elaborate tale, but on the other hand, if you're the one telling it, you are controlling the narrative which is exactly what Margaret does when Andrew suggests that she should tell them because she "loves telling this story." This is dangerous territory to let her tell the story! 

She starts by saying they they were about to celebrate their first anniversary together and she knew that he'd been "itching to ask [her] to marry him." According to her, he was scared (heh), so she started "leaving him little hints here and there because [she] knew he wouldn't have the guts to ask." So at this point, Andrew's not too happy that she's making him sound like a wuss, so he's quick to interrupt and tell them that's not exactly how it happened. He says he picked up on her hints, implying they weren't so subtle. As soon as he tells them he had a little box for her, Margaret interrupts and says it was a decoupage box he made and "had taken the time to cut out tiny, little pictures of himself." She opened it "and out fluttered these tiny, little hand-cut heart confettis." Now I would think this part would be a red flag to his own family because he doesn't strike me as being this intricate and artistic, but his mom and grandma seem to be believing every word of this story. She continues, saying she saw "the most beautiful, big..." and once again, Andrew interrupts and completes the sentence with "fat nothing." He says there was no ring and instead was a "handwritten note with the address to a hotel, date, and time." Margaret says she thought he was seeing someone else and went to the hotel and banged on the door which was unlocked and when she opened it, she saw him "kneeling on a bed of rose petals in a tuxedo" and he was "chocking back soft, soft sobs." Margaret doesn't have a chance to tell them what he said to her when he was finally able to talk because Andrew interrupts and tells them really quickly that he asked her to marry him and she said yes. I think he was ready to end that story! 

The crowd clinks their glasses, wanting the newly engaged couple to kiss and he kisses her hand, bhah! They do eventually kiss on the lips but it's so awkward and obviously not real. I am shocked that nobody is suspicious of them at all. Well, I guess Joe is a little bit, but they don't really dwell on that. 

Andrew and Margaret share an en suite and Andrew sleeps on the floor in front of the bed. Before the end of the first day, we are introduced to one more character: an adorable samoyed puppy named Kevin (I love the randomness of the name) that Andrew's parents recently rescued from the pound. Gammy tells them not to let him outside because of eagles (and other Alaskan predators, I'm sure!). Well, guess what? It's literally the next scene and guess what happens? I'll give you one guess. The next morning, before she's up, Margaret receives a phone call from Frank, that reclusive author. He must be her biggest client because she seems to be doing everything to make him happy. She can't get any reception so she ends up throwing a coat over her pajamas and putting on some rubber boots and goes outside, leaving the back door wide open for some unknown reason. Well, there is a reason and it's so the dog can get out too. Five seconds later (and I'm not exaggerating) an eagle swoops down and snatches the poor little unsuspecting puppy. Margaret talks with Frank for about ten more seconds before she realizes that a big bird has Kevin and she throws the phone at the bird (she doesn't hit it because that would take amazing talent), but the bird does drop the dog. Luckily, the drop isn't too far a distance so the dog is unharmed when he drops to the ground and he's also amazingly unharmed despite the fact that an eagle with sharp talons just picked him up. Margaret really caught a break there! I don't think Andrew's family would look too kindly at her if she had inadvertently killed the family pet within the first 24 hours of meeting them. Margaret picks up Kevin which is a little surprising because in a later scene Kevin will be blocking her way and she's trying to get around him and while I wouldn't say she's scared of him, for some reason she can't just simply walk around him or scoot him out of the way and here she has picked him up and is holding him. It's just odd, that's all. Because she is holding the dog, the eagle swoops down at her and Margaret covers her head with her arm that is holding the phone and the eagle ends up taking the phone. This poses two questions: 1) why did the eagle drop the dog in the first place? Margaret was nowhere near hitting it with her phone. Don't get me wrong; I'm glad Kevin is okay because he is adorable and this movie would have gone to a super dark place if the eagle made a meal out of that puppy, but I'm guessing this would never happen in the real world! And, 2) why the hell would the eagle take the phone? I don't think it would have any interest in that at all! So now the eagle has her phone (which I'm sure it dropped soon after, but we don't see where it goes if it did drop it) and Margaret is holding up Kevin, trying to entice the eagle with the dog. For some reason, she thinks if she gives the dog to the eagle, the eagle will give her the phone back like they're doing some business transaction. However, lucky for everyone, the eagle doesn't seem interested and flies away. We see a shot of Grace and Gammy looking out the window and laughing. I was kind of shocked that they were laughing because the night before they had told Margaret to make sure Kevin doesn't get out and here she is outside with Kevin. Why the hell are they laughing? Shouldn't they be livid? I'm not sure how long they've been watching, but I'm guessing they didn't see the part where the eagle scooped up Kevin. They did see Margaret running around holding Kevin up and I guess they didn't see the eagle because they seem to think Margaret is playing with the dog and how cute it is. 

Margaret freaks out about her phone to Andrew and he tells her they'll just order a new phone with the same number and they can go into town tomorrow to pick it up. Duh. 

Grace, Gammy, and Gertrude take Margaret out to a strip club where we get a very awkward and way too long scene of Ramone doing a strip tease for her. (I guess this is her unofficial bachelorette party.) This is sighting and job #2 for Ramone. 

When they return back to the house, Margaret goes upstairs to take a shower. It's only when she's done that she realizes she can't find a towel. Uh, wouldn't you make sure you had a towel before you took the shower? Also, Margaret must not have been paying attention that first night because Grace clearly told them there were towels in the cabinet outside the bathroom. The only thing she can find is a washcloth which she covers her bits up with and holds her other arm over her breasts. This is the scene I was talking about earlier when the little dog is blocking her way and barking at her when she opens the door. Now while she was in the shower, Andrew had come upstairs with his head phones on (I guess so he can't hear the shower even though the bathroom door is closed so you would think he would know that someone's in there) and he opens the cabinet to grab a towel, then heads outside on the deck, for some reason, to strip. When Margaret opens the door, she sees the cabinet door ajar and that there are towels. She tries to deter the dog by blowing a hair dryer at him, but, of course, he loves it. (I had a cat who hated going to the groomers, but he absolutely loved the warm air from the blow dryer.) Somehow, she makes it past this fearsome creature and while she's stepping her way around the dog, Andrew steps into the room and they both run into each other and she falls on top of him and it's the most awkward thing ever because they're both butt naked! 

That night, when she's in the bed and he's on the floor, he brings it up again and she tells him let's never talk about this again and they agree. Or maybe it was the other way around where she brought it up and he said they should never talk about it again. Margaret knows there's tension between him and his father and asks about it, but he refuses to tell her. She starts telling him little random bits of information about herself to open up to him and I guess this is supposed to bring them closer together. I guess they do seem a little friendlier after this. 

The next morning Grace knocks on the door, announcing she's brought them breakfast in bed. Margaret quickly wakes Andrew by throwing a pillow at him and tells him to get into the bed with her. He does (and also hides the sheets so they're not on the floor anymore) and they accept their breakfast from his mother. 

Joe comes in and tells them Grace thought of a great idea. Why are they telling them this now when they're in bed? Can't they wait until they're up and dressed? Even Gammy will come in a few minutes later. Anyway, Andrew's parents tell them that they want them to get married at their house tomorrow which is also the same day of Gammy's ninetieth birthday party (fun fact: Betty White was 86 when she filmed this). When they say they don't want to ruin Gammy's big day, this is when she barges in and tells them she's had 89 birthday parties and doesn't need another and that "it would be a dream come true for me to see my one grandchild's wedding. A dream come true!" When they're still hesitant about it, she plays the guilt card and asks them if they'll do it "before I'm dead." They sure aren't giving them much notice, but I guess they thought everything through. They already have a venue: it will be in the barn (I didn't even know they had a bar!) because it's "a Paxton family tradition." You can see that Margaret looks extra thrilled about that!  

That afternoon, Margaret and Andrew go into town to pick up her new phone. This is when we get sighting and job #3 of Ramone who works at the store. She has 37 messages and needs to answer them so Andrew takes her to an Internet cafe and while she's in there, he's outside talking to Gertrude who he ran into and Margaret sees this. She looks a little jealous, but nothing comes out of it. Gertrude is not trying to get Andrew back and Andrew only sees her as a friend. There is absolutely no threat. I think the director just likes Malin Akerman because she had worked with her the previous year in 27 Dresses and wanted to give her a role in this movie. 

Grace and Gammy take Margaret to a tailor's to try on the dress that Gammy got married in. As she tells Margaret, her mother made it for her in this very same shop in 1929. Because Gammy is a little bustier and was "knocked up" (her words!) when she wore it way back when, it doesn't quite fit Margaret and is quite loose on her, but once they get it tailored, it does look very nice on her. It's a bit of an old-fashioned dress (well, duh, it is from 1929) and she is entirely covered, but it does have that cool retro vibe to it. 

Gammy gives Margaret a necklace that has been in the family "for more than 150 years". Her great grandfather gave it to her great grandmother when they got married. Margaret is starting to feel guilty because of this and earlier Grace had told her she'd love for them to come down and visit them. She freaks out to Andrew about it and tells him she "forgot what it was like to have a family" because she's been on her own since she was 16. She doesn't understand why he's "willing to put them through this" because his family loves him. He tells her they're not going to find to out (hmm, are you sure about that?) and when she asks "How do you know?" (which is a good point), he replies, "You said so yourself." Uh, that's not really a good argument. 

When they get back to the house, Joe is there to meet them and he looks serious. Right away I knew that he had found out their engagement was a sham. This was confirmed when he tells them he needs to talk to them and that Andrew's mother "is never to hear any of this." They go into the barn (oh, there's the barn!) where Mr. Gilbertson, the immigration lawyer, is waiting for them and tells them, "I told you I'd check up on you." At first, I thought he had flown all the way from New York to Sitka on his own accord and was confused by this and thought it was totally pointless since Andrew and Margaret had an appointment with him for their interviews on Monday, but it was Joe who flew him up there. He had received a phone call from Mr. Gilbertson who told him if Andrew was lying, he would be sent to prison for five years. It is a little surprising that neither Andrew nor Margaret thought that the immigration lawyer wouldn't check in with Andrew's parents about this because he did tell them at their first meeting that he would be doing just that. I guess they did consider he might do it and would just deny it which is what Andrew will do. Mr. Gilbertson tells Andrew that his dad "negotiated a deal on your behalf" and he's going to make a statement "admitting this marriage is a sham or you're gonna go to prison". If he tells the truth, nothing will happen to him, but she'll be sent back to Canada. Andrew's statement is that he's been working for Margaret for three years and six months ago they started dating, fell in love, and are now getting married. 

We see sighting and job #4 of Ramone who serves as the minister for the wedding. Now, this is the last sighting of him, but I can't say if this is it for all his jobs. I wouldn't be surprised if he was also the mayor of Sitka! For a wedding only announced the day before, they sure got a big crowd! But then again, it was supposed to be Gammy's birthday, so maybe these people came for that and ended up at a wedding instead. I guess the dress code for Gammy's party wasn't casual because everyone is already dressed for a wedding, what luck! Among the guests is Mr. Gilberston. 

While Ramone is doing the whole wedding spiel, Margaret interrupts him and says she need to say something. Now I thought she was going to confess everything, but then tell Andrew (and everyone else) that she did fall in love with him over the course of these last couple of days and truly does want to get married to him. We-ell, that's not exactly how it happened. She does confess the reason they're getting married, apologizes to Andrew's family, and on her way out of the barn tells Mr. Gilberston (who has a smug look on his face) that he's giving her a ride back to the airport. I guess Margaret's conscience just caught up with her and she couldn't go through with this ruse anymore.

Of course, Grace and Gammy are confused and want Andrew to tell them what's going on, but he's too preoccupied to tell them anything right now. On their way to the airport, Mr. Gilbertson tells Margaret that once they land in New York, she'll have twenty-four hours to go to Canada. Well, at least that flight will be a lot shorter at a little under two hours (assuming she's going to Toronto). 

Even though the wedding has been called off, there's still a wedding reception outside (well, they might as well use all the food and supplies they already paid for!) and Andrew wants to go after Margaret and talk to her, but his dad tells him he can't let him do that and they start fighting. Gammy yells at them to stop fighting, then looks panicked and grabs her chest to look like she was having a heart attack which I knew she was faking. A sea plane is called to take her to the hospital and Andrew and his parents go with her. You know this has to be the most exciting wedding these guests have ever attended! First, the bride walks out, and now the grandmother of the groom is being taken away in a small plane because of a supposed heart attack. 

In the plane Gammy takes off her oxygen mask and tells Andrew and Joe that they need to stop fighting. She tells her son to promise her that he'll stand by Andrew even if he doesn't agree with him and she makes her grandson promise her that he'll "work harder to be a part of this family." They both promise. She replies, "Well, then, the spirits can take me" and closes her eyes. A moment later, she opens them and takes off her oxygen mask (which the EMT had put back on) and says, "I guess they're not ready for me" and tells the pilot she's "feeling much better" and there's "no need to take us to the hospital." She asks him to take them to the airport instead. I called it because she admits she was faking the heart attack because "it was the only way I could get you two to make up and get us to the airport." Uh, wouldn't you get a fine for that? They probably didn't because she's the matricach of the richest family on the island. 

They get to the airport, but it's too late and Margaret has already left. Andrew gets on the next plane to New York. He runs to the office where Margaret is cleaning out her desk and professes his love for her in front of everybody. All the women are clutching their hands to their hearts and oohing and aahing. At first, she's a little resistant, but then decides that she loves him too. He proposes to her, this time for real and wants her to marry him "because [he'd] like to date [her]." Everybody claps when they kiss, something that only happens in movies, let's be real. I don't buy that these two would become romantically involved, if anything, I can find them having more of a respect for each other. 

I know I called this movie mediocre, but it's not the worst thing to watch when you need something to do. There are some funny moments (although they are few and far between) and it's only an hour and a half. Also, if you do watch it and you're charmed by the town of Sitka, don't book your flight to Alaska just yet! The movie was actually filmed in Rockport, Massachusetts, which is in the northeast part of the state. The mountains that you see were CGIed in.