Wednesday, September 13, 2023

More Clues

Missing
Directors: Will Merrick and Nick Johnson
Cast: Storm Reid, Nia Long, Ken Leung, Joaquim de Almeida
Released: January 20, 2023


This movie is set in the same universe as Searching and I will forever be getting them mixed-up! They each could be called either title as they're both movies about people who are missing and loved ones searching for said missing person. In Searching, the missing person was a teenage girl and her dad was searching for her; in Missing, a teenage girl is the one searching for her missing mother. Both movies also follow the same format of being told through screens: laptops, iPhones, security cameras, etc. 

This movie is definitely better viewed at home where you can pause it rather than watching it in a movie theater. There's just so many texts, e-mails, posts, etc. that sometimes I had to pause the screen to read everything. Now some of them are important to the movie, and some of them are just fun little asides. When I watched the movie a second time, I was often pausing it to make sure I caught everything. 

It's going to be hard to write the movie without spoilers, so I will tell you when I get to anything spoiler-y, but it would probably be best to watch it before reading this if you don't want to be spoiled about anything! It is also not necessary to watch Searching to know what's going on. They're set in the same universe, but the stories have nothing to do with each other. 

Our protagonist is an eighteen-year-old girl named June (Storm Reid) who easily gets annoyed with her mom, Grace (Nia Long) and basically thinks she treats her like a baby. We get some backstory when the movie starts with a video clip from 2008 where we see a toddler-aged June with her father at "grandpa's house." We're barely five minutes into the movie, but right away, I'm like, I bet it's the dad! I bet he's behind it! Grace comes in the room just when young June notices her father's nose starts to bleed and he claims it's because of the altitude. The video stops and we see that someone is trimming it and making it into a file called "Last family trip". After seeing bookmarked pages such as "brain tumors and aneurysms" and "Helping Your Child Process Grief", it is clear that June's father is dead and there goes my theory about him being behind this whole thing. Obviously this is Grace's computer and we also see her delete her Google account and that they have moved from San Antonio to Los Angeles. 

Cut to the current day and we see teen June watching a Netflix series called Unfiction (what a terrible name) about true crime cases that have been made into one-hour drama shows. We see she is watching episode 3, titled "The Disappearance of Margot Kim" which is a nice tie-in to Searching. When watching this the second time, I paused my own screen and saw that June had a site pulled up called "Fact vs. Fiction in Unficiton." One of the "facts" says "Real David Kim is [fire emoji]. (Uh, isn't that an opinion?) "Anyone else thinks he looks like that actor from Breakout (2020)??" So I thought this was a John Cho Easter egg, but when I looked at him filmography, he's not in anything from 2020 called Breakout, so I don't get it. The article also talks about how Debbie Massey is the actress who portrays Detective Rosemary Vick which is an obvious nod to Debra Messing. Yeah, so it's a fun little moment of the movie if you've seen Searching.

There is some foreshadowing when June pauses the movie and we see a summary of the episode which reads "After his 16-year-old daughter goes missing, a desperate father breaks into her laptop to look for clues to find her" and this is what June will do when her mom goes missing. Perhaps she was inspired by this faux Netflix series?

But before her mom goes missing, the movie sets up a few things: Grace is always using Siri for everything and it annoys June greatly; Grace calls June "Junebug" and it annoys June greatly; and Grace is always asking June to clear her voicemails in case she needs to leave a message. 

Grace has a new boyfriend named Kevin (Ken Leung) and they're going to Cartagena, Colombia together. I don't know, if I were going away together for the first time with someone, I might make it a lot more local. June will be staying by herself, but the overprotective Grace has left a key with her friend and lawyer, Heather, and tells her daughter she's supposed to call Heather if she needs anything. We get some more foreshadowing when Grace tells June, "Do not open the door for strangers. Keep your location service turned on the entire time I'm away." After arguing with her mom about Heather being a "baby-sitter", Grace tells her, "You do not understand the sacrifices I made to get you the life that you have." You think its just a throw-away line, but it's actually not. When you watch the movie a second time, it makes you go, "Aha! I totally get why she said that now!" 

Because of the way this movie is shot, June's laptop camera is always on so we can always see footage if she's talking to anyone in the same room. I don't know how realistic this is, but I guess it's needed for the movie. We see Kevin is there the day of the trip and he tells Grace that he loves her mom and that he planned this trip for a "very special reason", but before he can say anything more, Grace appears and he stops talking. It is June 11th and they will be coming back on the 20th. June is supposed to pick them up at the airport.

During the next week, we get a montage of June partying with her friends and she receives texts and photos from her mom and Kevin. They are both using Kevin's phone because she tells June that her texts aren't going through. This is another thing that makes more sense when you're watching it the second time. This is definitely a movie that benefits from watching a second time! 

The day before she's supposed to pick up her mom and Kevin at LAX, she has a party at her house. Is she that stupid or did she just forget? The movie explains she's sad because it's Fathers Day and she never got to know her dad and she's having a party to forget about her sad feelings, but you would think she wouldn't have the party at her own house. 

Of course her laptop camera is left on, so you're seeing the party. I still don't buy that people leave their cameras on for absolutely no reason, but they need to give us exposition and foreshadowing, like when we see one of the guests asking people if they've seen his Smartwatch. Believe it or not, this SmartWatch will come back later in the movie. 

Her alarm goes off at eleven the next day and when she signs on to her laptop, she gets a notification about picking up her mom at eleven. Oh, dear. She's already way late. And I don't even know how far the airport is from where she lives, but I'm guessing it's not a simple five-minute drive! And to make matters worse, her house is a MESS. Her mom is gonna be so pissed. And I'm sure from the nightmare June will soon endure, she would rather deal with a pissed-off mother than a missing one! 

June goes to TaskRabbit and hires somebody to clean up for her. She writes, "Key's under the mat. Please don't steal anything haha". I love that she added that "haha"; also I wouldn't trust some rand-o to clean my place, especially if I were gone. Luckily, her mom gave her some emergency money (probably not the kind of emergency she had in mind) so she's able to pay with that. 

When she arrives at the airport, her phone camera is on and that's where we're viewing her from, but c'mon, who leaves their camera on like that? She's gonna waste the battery. I once accidentally had my camera on and was so annoyed because my battery was way low.

She waits and waits, but there is no sign of her mom or Kevin. (Are you surprised?) She calls and texts her mom, but gets no replies. When she tries to FaceTime her, she gets a "FaceTime unavailable" message. She returns home, dejected, but I have to say she does some smart things. The first thing she does is call the hotel where her mom is staying. The man she speaks with doesn't speak any English, so June pulls up good old Google translate. I don't know how she could translate what he was saying. He does slow down when she asks "Que?" She must have a better ear for foreign languages than I do. I'm terrible with understanding a foreign language when it's spoken to me, but I can read it well enough. Of course, this is only if I know a fair amount of a foreign language and in this case, it's French for me. Heh, I was in Quebec City recently and when I was at the reception desk at the hotel, the first thing out of my mouth was, "Parlez-vous anglais?" But, anyway, through what the guy is telling her and Google translate, she finds out that her mom and Kevin left their suitcases at the hotel and nobody saw them leave. She's looking at the Google Maps Street View image of this hotel and sees cameras and ask if he can check them out, but in order to do that, she would need to go in person. He tells her the footage is reordered over every 48 hours. I don't know if this is an actual law, but you would think if this young girl's mom is missing and she's in another country, they could make an exception for her to check out the video (spoiler alert: even though June will eventually get someone to get the tape, it will have been too late by then). 

Even though she is upset, she seems to be pretty calm during this whole thing. She's not missing a beat, doing all the necessary things. She calls Heather who calls the U.S. Embassy in Colombia, but they're closed. They need to fill out a report and the embassy will call them tomorrow when they open. So June does that and the next morning she gets a call from the embassy. While on the phone, asking about the security tapes, she gets a reply back from the missing persons form she filled out saying they are not able to process it because she was missing a signature. That's gotta be so infuriating! 

At this point, they have six hours left before the security cameras override. Detective Park, the detective she's been talking to, tells her the "FBI doesn't have jurisdiction to investigate in Colombia, so it may take some time while [they] work with local authorities." This is another thing that's gotta be infuriating. A woman is missing and this hotel is the last known place her daughter knows where she was...they can't break the rules a little to review the tapes to see if they can find any clues to her whereabouts? 

The detective asks her questions about her mom like if she said or did anything unusual, but June can't think of anything. She tries to get into her mom's Google account, but the passwords she tries don't work. After updating her friend on what's going on, her friend suggests she check out live cameras in Cartagena. She flips through touristy spots and apparently you can go back and look at videos from a previous day. That seems kind of pointless to watch a "live" stream from days ago, but it will play a part in the movie later on. 

She decides to see if she can hire someone in Colombia so they can get the security footage and through GoNinja, which is Colombia's equivalent to TaskRabbit, she hires Javier (Joaquim de Almeida). She doesn't have much money left in her emergency fund and at $8 an hour, Javier is about the only one she can afford. He only has a rating of 2.8
out of five stars and one of the reviews we see made me laugh: "It took five hours to get my tacos, but Javi's a nice guy." 

So it was bugging me when we meet Javi because he looked so familiar. He reminded me of Geoffrey Rush and I remember thinking this of an actor awhile ago and when I looked at his IMDb, I go, "Ohhhh! It's Salazar!" If you watched season 3 of 24, you know what I'm talking about! 

Even though he doesn't do what she's asking of him, he agrees to help her. He gives her the idea to try to get into Kevin's phone since she can't get into her mom's phone. The only problem is how is she going to figure out Kevin's password? Well, luckily, her friend has come over to help. She can imitate a good deep voice, so they call Kevin's professional website and she pretends to be him and act like "he" lost "his" password. She needs to verify a few thing such as Kevin's date of birth and his mother's maiden name, which is easy enough to find on his Facebook. They also need the name of his elementary school and that proves to be a bit more difficult since it's not on his Facebook profile (I mean, why would it be?). So June quickly googles the name of the town he grew up in (luckily he had that listed) and there are two elementary schools there, so she has a fifty/fifty shot of getting it right, and of course she does. 

Once June gets into Kevin's Google account, she looks at his location history and notices he has none for June 12, which I think is the day they left for Colombia. 

Javi calls back to tell her the footage is gone. What a surprise! He talked to the cleaning lady who said she saw two American tourists leave on Friday. They were dressed up and she asks them where they were going and Kevin tells they're going to a hardware store. June looks up Kevin's credit card history (luckily he uses the same password for everything.) When she does that, we get an amusing and very relatable (at least for me!) moment where she hesitates for a second when she's supposed to select all the images with a bus in it. There's one square with the tiniest piece of the bus and she's not sure if she should select it or not. This scenario has happened to me so many times and it's so aggravating when you don't get it right and you have to do it again! 

The only thing on his bank statement from that day is he bought something from Getsemani, which Javi informs her is the name of an area of Cartagena, not a store. (Why wouldn't the store be listed? That seems weird, but I guess it's just for the plot of the movie). She finds all the hardware stores in this location and sends Javi a list of them for him to investigate. When he does find it later, he will find out that Kevin had bought a lock. 

She next goes through Kevin's emails where she sees one about a security system camera being on its way. This will come back later, but right now she pays no mind to it. She does find an incriminating e-mail where a woman with the username "BunnyCakes310" sent a "sexy pic" to him and he replied with, "You're literally perfect. I'll call you tonight." Her friend gets the idea for June to check his blocked contacts since that's what they do on Unfiction. Honestly, what would they do without that show as a reference guide? 

She finds 27 blocked contacts and there are messages from those people where each one is calling him a different name and it seems he was scamming them and taking their money. After doing some research, she finds out that Kevin Lin is indeed his real name and he was sent to Eastham Federal Penitentiary for 3 years and was released last year. June mentions this to Detective Park who already was aware this. They don't think he's conncected because "he's never been involved in a disappearance" and he's using his real name. Uh, he was the last known person they know she was with and there's a first time for everything! At least he tells her they are looking for him. Park tells her that all the scams he did were before he went to prison and he's never violated his parole. 

June tries to get more information about "BunnyCakes" and goes to her Instagram (she uses the same username) and sees he real name is Rachel and she is an actress and a bartender. She sees a picture of the bar she works at and calls them, but they haven't seen her for two weeks. I would be a little concerned if I hadn't seen a co-worker in that long and they hadn't taken time off. The guy sounds more irritated than worried, but he admits it's not out of character for her. How the hell does this woman still have a job there if she's always bailing on them? Not surprisingly, June sees that Kevin has frequented this bar often. 

There's also another place he's frequented, but it just gives coordinates. She figures out it is five hours from her home and the address is in Mountain Springs, Nevada and is listed as a "private residence." She is able to see the owner is "Jim W." and finds the number to call it. June tells this Jim guy she's calling about Kevin Lin and is pretty accusatory when she asks him why Kevin was at his house. We find out that "it's a re-entry program for ex-offenders" and he was paired with him. June puts "Jimmy" in her contacts. It really makes no sense why she would keep this random guy in her contacts, but it does come back later, so it's done for the plot. Also, I guess you want to cover all your bases and keep in contact with anyone who has had any contact with Kevin recently. 

June realizes she doesn't know how her mom met Kevin (that seems surprising to me), so she searches her mom's name in Kevin's emails and this is how she finds out that they met through a dating app called Luvly where you can send video messages or written messages to the other person. Video messages seem like too much work to me, but this is coming from someone who hardly ever uses FaceTime. You have to make sure you look attractive, you might have to do several takes until you get your message just right, etc. But I get why they did it for the movie: it's just more cinematic for one thing. There are some long messages they leave for each other and having to read them wouldn't be the best way to get that across to the audience. June is able to read and watch all the videos they sent to each other. If I had a single parent, I sure wouldn't want to read/watch videos they were exchanging with someone they met on a dating site. That has got to be the most awkward thing. Luckily nothing is too scarring or scandalous! She sees this first started three months ago. Kevin sent her a video message asking who her favorite '80s band is on 10/23, then sends her a "just checking in" text on 10/25, and sends another video on 10/29 and admits a third message is lame. He sure is persistent! She does eventually send a message back and they strike up a conversation. 

June goes through their messages. They start off light, but get serious as Grace tells him how difficult it can be to a mother and how she worries about June. We see a text in March where Grace asks if she can call Kevin because there's something she wants to talk about with him. The next day, we see a text where she tells him "thanks for listening last night" and she's "only ever told one other person about [her] past." and "this has to stay between [them]". Now this possibly couldn't have anything to do with her mysterious disappearance! Even though we have no idea (at this point) what she told him, it doesn't seem like the smartest idea to tell someone you just met something that's obviously very important. But I guess they're just trying to convey that she trusts him.

We see a video message from Kevin telling her about his past, but June already knows about that.

June looks up romantic destinations in Cartagena and finds the Walled City Love Lock Bridge which would make sense with the lock Kevin bought. She tells Javi about it and he finds a lock with their initials on it. He seems to find it in five seconds, but there's no way it was quick because there must be thousands of locks on the bridge. Wasn't this an Amazing Race task one season where someone from each team had to find a specific lock? 

June finds the bridge's camera from the day her mom and Kevin were there. I still don't understand why they would keep that, but again, we need it for the movie. She sees Kevin propose to her mom on the bridge. If anyone proposed to me on a crowded bridge full of tourists, I would be so pissed. But everyone around them is clapping. I've never seen a public proposal (thank God), but I honestly could care less about two people I've never met getting engaged. 

We get a huge lead when Agent Park calls June to tell her they found footage of her mom and Kevin being kidnapped in broad daylight by masked men who put them into a white van. Park thinks they just want money because they "flagged a withdrawal from [Grace's] bank to an encrypted third party account." Who kidnaps somebody in broad daylight? Though this is South America, I suppose. They received this footage from "an anonymous source." 

Something tells June to go back to look at all the pictures Kevin's sent her and while scrolling through them, she notices she never actually sees her mom's face. All the photos are live, so when she activates ones of them, she sees the woman's face and it is definitely not her mom, but rather Rachel Page's (aka BunnyCake) face. She figures Kevin hired Rachel to impersonate her mom, but why? 

The whole movies shifts and now the FBI believes Grace never left L.A. They think that whatever happened, happened on the drive to LAX. Kevin and Grace took an Uber to the airport, but Uber has no record of the trip and the car was using stolen plates. They're trying to find Kevin in Colombia because they know he's the one person who knows what's going on.

Rachel is found and she tells journalists that Kevin told her it was a reality show shot on an iPhone. (Yeah this all happens really quickly!) She says after the "kidnapping" scene she knew something was up, so she made a run for it. Uh, smart move! She cooperates with police and tells them when and where Kevin picked her up and when they check traffic cameras, they see her getting in the car, but Grace wasn't there. 

Detective Park asks June if her mom has gone by any other names, but she tells him no. This is asked because it's been found out that Grace Allen is an alias and that her "real identity lies locked behind a court-ordered seal." June asks Heather (remember, she's her mom's lawyer) if she can do anything, but Heather tells her it would "take at least a week to get a judge to lift it" and adds that she knew nothing about this either. 

This story is all over social media and everyone thinks that Grace staged this and ran away, making June upset and she goes on a rampage of down voting comments or reporting them. I don't even know why she's wasting her time reading these comments, but it's probably just supposed to represent, like no more than ten minutes (hopefully!).

She does some more sleuthing and discovers through Kevin's google history that he downloaded an encrypted text message program that have the messages disappear after they have been read. I like how the movie takes it time with June finding it, it does't happen in two seconds. She downloads it and types in Kevin's email and password, but the password doesn't work, but all she has to do is reset it. She sees that a message has been sent ten hours ago: "What did you tell June?" There is a reply from "NewUser": "I promise I didn't tell her anything. She still does't know."  

June types a message to NewUser, "Who is this?", but before she sends it, she changes her mind and types, "Are you home?" Smart move since she's on Kevin's log-in and that would raise red flags. She gets a reply that says, "Still at work. Is something wrong?" June, as Kevin, tells the person that "he" lost "his" phone and needs the number. After June gets the number, she cross references it and -plot twist - the number matches the lawyer's! At first, I was sure the lawyer was behind it, but she's kind of the equivalent of the Debra Messing character from Searching and I don't think they would have the same archetype be the culprit. Also, we will find out it was definitely not Heather when June sneaks into her office (using the SmartWatch left at her party to be the camera for the audience). While there, she finds there are files being deleted from the computer, and, most disturbing of all, she finds Heather's body. She learns from the detective that "based on the autopsy", Heather was killed minutes before she arrived. They sure do move fast in this movie! 

We see the camera pan back and now somebody is watching June on THEIR computer (creepy!) and all of her files she has up are on their computer, so somehow this unknown mystery person has a way of hacking into her account. The unknown person gets a message from Kevin telling the mystery person (well to us, I'm pretty sure Kevin knows who he's communicating with!) that he needs help getting out of Colombia and that he "planned all of this just so no one would suspect YOU" and "you couldn't have done this without me." Okay, so now it's confirmed that Kevin was in on this whole thing from the start. The mystery person don't care! 

Kevin won't be long for our story as June watches live footage of the police capturing him in Colombia. Well, shooting him dead would be more accurate because that's what happens, even though he puts his hands up in surrender, so I don't know why they shot him. 

Now that the last hope for finding Grace alive has faded, June is inconsolable, listening to voicemails from her mom as she cries. She realizes that her mom (as always) calls her "Junebug" at the start of every message and tries her mom's Google password again, this time with "Junebug" and it works. You think she would have tried that already because she was aware that her mom always calls her that, even though she hates it. I mean, it's honestly kind of dumb she didn't think of it before. 

She sees her mom has one blocked user and it's from one year ago with a message titled, "Found you Grace". When June clicks to read it, the message says, "She deserves to know." She brings up Kevin's Google account and notices he also has had contact with this same person who's email is "VMyQe12" - that's gotta be the worst email in history, right? Anyway, she notices that the security cameras she saw from Kevin's email and that he bought the cameras for this person. She signs onto the site and sees the different angles of the security camera set up around some random house in the middle of nowhere, it seems. She recognizes a room as the one from the last video of her and her dad before he died.

This might be a good time to put up a spoiler waring. I would definitely recommend to watch the movie before reading any of this, but this is when we're about to go into huge spoiler territory so read at your own risk. MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!!!!!

At this moment "Jimmy" makes another appearance when he calls June, asking her if she's safe and if all the doors are locked. He tells her there's a lot to explain, but he doesn't know if anybody is listening and he doesn't know who to trust. This should be sending up huge red flags for her. She hears a car door slam and on the ring motion detector, she sees Jimmy (who told her it was him) coming up to her door. How the hell did he get there so fast? She tells him she's going to call the police, but he uncover his head and reveals it's...wait for it...her dad. I should mention that her dad's name is James, so he's just going by a nickname of his own name. This guy is not the most stealthy. 

It was at this moment that I knew he was behind this whole thing and I was kicking myself for believing he was actually dead this whole time! Remember, when I first saw him in the first five minutes of the movie, I thought he was the one behind the whole thing, but after the movie told us he was dead, I just sort of accepted it, but all along I was right on who did it all along! 

June still isn't sure if she should open the door. When I watched this movie a second time, Grace's command about not opening the door to strangers stuck out to me. I'm internally willing June to NOT open the door, but technically, this man is not a stranger to June as it is her own father, but she hasn't seen him since she was three or four, so how does she know if she can really trust him? (Spoiler alert (even though I've already put up the spoiler warning): she can't!) 

From behind the door, he tells her she deserves to know what happened and this prompts her to open the door. Maybe she should have gotten a little more information before she let him in? But once he's inside, he tells her his side of the story: that when she was little, he and her mom fought all the time and she never let him take care of June. We also find out her real name is Sarah, so that explains her identity being locked behind a court-ordered seal. He tells June that she doesn't know what her mother is "capable of" and that "she lied to a judge to have [him] put in prison." He then makes the stupid mistake of revealing that he was in Eastham for 12 years and June is quick to put the pieces together and realizes that's where he met Kevin and she knows something fishy is going on. I do wonder if he hadn't mentioned where he was in prison, if she would have believed him. I would hope not! Even though he is her father, she doesn't really know him and shouldn't trust him over her mother. Yes, obviously her mother lied to her about him being dead, but we will soon get the explanation. 

When June questions him being in Eastham, this is when he realizes he's made a mistake. Her FaceTime chimes a few seconds later and June can see it's her friend calling. They both pause for a a few seconds, then she runs to accept the call, but he is quicker and declines. He then takes a struggling June to his car and basically kidnaps her. 

Now we get the real story: her dad was abusive to her mom and she was looking for ways to leave him. He was also a drug user and that was the reason for his bloody nose in the video. Grace found hard-core drugs in the closet and reported them to the police and that's how he ended up in prison. He threatens Grace that he will find her and pretty much implies that he will kill her. This is how Heather, who we find out is with domestic violence and family law, becomes involved in her case and is pretty much the only one who knows Grace's real backstory. As we know, Grace is her new identity and she and her daughter move states as a result of this. There are hints of Grace wanting to tell June the truth, but she can never seem to get through to her daughter. Also, that must have been what she told Kevin (who it turns out she couldn't trust at all!) over the phone while they were talking on that dating app.

So June ends up tied up in a chair in a room that she recognizes as the one from the last video of her and her dad. Obviously, we're watching everything through the security cameras that are set up around this property. James goes to a shed, where, not surprisingly, Grace is being held. After finding out he has June, she hits him with something (I think she was restrained, but was able to get free) and runs to the house where she finds June and unties her. She tells June to call the police but June says her phone is at home (which makes sense...don't think her kidnapper would allow her to have a phone!). She does still have her Apple Watch and uses it to contact Javi. (Random sidenote: I didn't capitalize either letter of "Apple Watch" and it automatically did it for me, of course it did cause I'm writing this on a MacBook!...also didn't capitalize MacBook and it automatically did it for me.) She asks Javi to go on her Instagram and find the picture of her and her dad when she was younger that was taken outside the house. He repeats the house numbers for her when she asks him for them. Just as she's about to tell him to call the police, the line is disconnected. Her dad comes in the room, asking her if she made any calls, but she denies doing so. He knows she has a watch because he saw her using it on the monitor. He wants June to go with him, but Grace begs him not to take her. After a few more attempts of this and Grace still getting in his way to take their daughter, he shoots her in the leg and she collapses against a wall, breaking a mirror. While James grabs June and starts restraining her, Grace gets up and stabs him in the neck with a piece of broken glass. He manages to stagger out of the room, but dies while trying to type "hospital nearby" at his computer. 

I wonder what his plan was. I assume he planned to take June, hoping she would believe his story about her mom being the bad guy in the story he told her and make her believe that her mom left her while he killed her, but once June realized he was behind her mother's abduction, was he going to kill both of them? 

I guess the message to call 911 didn't get across to Javi and June gets the idea to look into the camera (which she knows is spying on her own computer at home, where her phone is right next to) and says, "Siri, call 911". The inspiration comes from her mother who uses Siri for everything. The police come and they are rescued and June and her mother have a much better relationship now. 

Their story is made into an episode for Unfiction and there's a cute moment where Grace tells June that she has friended Javi on Facebook. 

Wednesday, August 9, 2023

Retirement in Outer Space

Cocoon: The Return
Director: Daniel Petrie 
Cast: Wilford Brimley, Don Ameche, Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Jack Gilford, Steve Guttenberg, Courteney Cox, Maureen Stapleton, Gwen Verdon, Tahnee Welch, Elaine Stritch
Released: November 23, 1988


When I reviewed Cocoon seven years ago, I briefly mentioned its sequel. I sort of spoiled a major plot point of that movie and I would feel bad about that, except for that fact that a) this movie is over 30 years old, and b) this movie is pretty bad and unnecessary. Don't get me wrong. I love the first movie just for the nostolgia of it, but it absolutely makes no sense there's a sequel. Even Ron Howard, who directed the first movie, thought it was unnecessary and pointless to have a sequel, thus the reason he didn't direct it. 

Sure, it's fun to see the old (literally in this case!) gang back, but other than that, you're left wondering why the hell they're back.

Let's just get on with the review, shall we? First of all, even though this movie came out in 1988, it takes place in 1990. I guess they wanted it set five years after the original. I knew the first movie was set in Florida (heh, I just noticed that I have Jessica Tandy films representing Florida, Georgia, and Alabama and she's originally from England), but in the sequel I learn they're in St. Petersburg. They may have mentioned that in the first movie and I just forgot. It was filmed there as well, and my God, the water is absolutely stunning wherever they filmed a scene where they're at the beach...crystal blue waters that looks so inviting. Obviously the Gulf side is more picturesque than the Atlantic side. 

This movie wants to quickly get to the point of having the senior citizens back on Earth. Just a quick recap of the first film (in case you don't want to read my review): Three elderly couples become friends with aliens who can disguise themselves as humans and they learn they're from a planet called Antarea where one never grows old, never gets sick, and never dies. Rivendell must be their sister city! They live in a retirement community called Sunny Shores and pretty much everyone who lives there ends up going to live in Antarea. I was always a little suspicious of Antarea and voiced it in my Cocoon review: 

Seriously, would you go to another planet? You don't know what you're going to find when you get there. All these old people may be getting scammed! They're too naive! And even if where they were going did provide immortality, who would want to live forever? I feel like that would be more of a curse than a blessing.

Well, luckily they never got scammed, although we never do see a second of Antarea (although it will be described (barely, though!) for us.) At first, I was disappointed, but then I was kinda of relieved, because, let's be honest, it probably would have looked terrible. They didn't really have the technology in the late '80s to create a utopian planet. Anyway, besides David (the grandson of one of the couples) and a few other select people, everyone else thinks they were lost at sea and have been dead all this time. Including David's mom. 

It always irked me that Ben and Mary (Wilford Brimley and Maureen Stapleton) boarded the spaceship because in the first movie it was established they were close with their grandson, David (especially Ben). Now I'm sure the others had family they were leaving behind, but we never really heard about them, so it didn't really both me as much that they left Earth. I just never bought it that Ben and Mary would leave their grandson (or the daughter...I assume David's mom was their kid and not his dad because we don't really see/hear from his dad). 

So like I mentioned earlier, the movie just wants to jump right into the plot. And it does exactly that when we see David (probably 14/15, hell I don't know how old he's supposed to be!) in his room doing his homework while watching TV at the same time. His mom is downstairs and hears the TV and tells him to turn it off. He does, but it keeps coming on even after he keeps clicking it off. He gets up to inspect it and suddenly it turns to static before we see his grandpa telling him they're coming to visit because their friends have "some unfinished business to do there" so he and Grandma are hitching a ride. 

Dear Lord, I have so many questions:

-Is this the first time Ben has communicated with his grandson this way? I honestly couldn't tell. David seemed a little surprised by seeing his grandpa, but not that surprised. I would think if this wasn't the first time, David would realize why the TV was acting up and wouldn't be banging on it and acting so confused. So his grandparents have been gone for five years and they just realized they could communicate with their grandson this way? What the hell have they been doing all this time? You think they would try some way to communicate with him after all this time. Hmm, I guess I only had one question. But you have to admit it was a pretty valid one! 

Ben also tells David that he's going to have to tell his mom the truth which is pretty hilarious. "Uh, Mom, Grandpa and Grandma weren't 'lost at sea'. They actually boarded a spaceship with the other old people you thought were lost at sea and a couple of new aliens friends and flew to a planet called Antarea where they will spend the rest of eternity." I mean, I would be very concerned if I were this boy's mother! Sadly, we never get this scene where he tells her what actually happened, we just get a scene of her telling him that she doesn't believe him and that maybe he should talk to someone (i.e. she thinks he's crazy), but at least we get the rebuttal where David insists that they "really did go to another planet." He sounds so insane that I really don't blame his mom for not believing him. As they're talking, the doorbell rings and you know its gonna be the grandparents. I don't know how long it's been since David received the message from his grandpa, but in movie time, it's only been a few minutes. His mother answers the door and faints when she sees her parents. After this scene, we will never see her again. I didn't even bother to remember her name. I honestly don't even remember how much screen time she had in the first movie, but it had to be more than this! We never see her wake up after fainting and asking her parents question or anything. Is she just unconscious throughout the rest of the movie? 

Well, I assume she must have woken up from fainting and we just never see her again because Ben and Mary don't seem at all concerned about her as the next morning they're making breakfast and dancing while the radio plays, "You Make Me Feel So Young". Also, there's some shameless promoting going on while the camera lingers on the radio which is next to a box of Quaker instant oatmeal. If you're old enough, you might remember Wilford Brimley as the spokesperson for Quaker Oats. Speaking of Wilford Brimley, I learned something that I never knew before. He was only 49 years old when he filmed the first movie. This blew my mind. To put it in perspective, here are the ages of the other actors when the first movie came out:

Don Ameche: 77
Hume Cronyn: 74
Jessica Tandy: 76
Gwen Verdon: 60 (To be fair, that's pretty young for a person to live in an assisted living residence, especially a vivacious one, such as her character, but it's still not 49!)
Maureen Stapleton: 60
Jack Gilford: 77

I assume all the characters are suppose to be around the same age, probably mid-70s. I don't know, if I were 49, I would be a little insulted that I got cast to play a senior citizen in their 70s, ha! I guess this explains why Wilford Brimley was the last of the cast to die in 2020 when all the others passed away in the 90s or early '00s. 

The natural born humans aren't the only ones to return to Earth, they have also come with Kitty (Tahnee Welch) and those two random guys who don't have any lines. Walter (the main alien guy from the first movie played by Brian Dennehy) isn't there, but he'll show up for a few minutes at the end. Remember, Kitty and the two guys are aliens, but they're disguised as humans. It's all very Third Rock From the Sun. Kitty is a very attractive human woman and Jack (Steve Guttenberg) is happy (and a little surprised) to see her at the marina where he works, giving tours on his glass bottom boat. At one point, we see him wear a shirt that says "My grandma saw the Lost Treasure of the Florida Keys and all I got was this stupid t-shirt" that he sells at his gift kiosk. This is about the only scene we see Jack wear a shirt too. It is blatantly hilarious how often we see Steve Guttenberg shirtless in this movie. Or at the very least, he's wearing a shirt, but it's unbuttoned. Yeah, they're in Florida and I could forgive them if he was swimming or something, but he's usually not! 

Kitty tells Jack that they have come back because the cocoons are in danger and "The sensors that [they] left on the bottom of the ocean floor indicate seismic activity" so they have come to take their friends away. To tell you the truth, I don't even know why they have cocoons on another planet. I probably should have rewatched the first movie. I did read my review of the first movie, but didn't find any answers. So apparently this is the "unfinished business" Ben told his grandson about. Why did they even bring the old folks? They have four days to rescue their pod friends. So you're telling me they took a trip from outer space to Earth for only four days? I wouldn't go to Europe for only four days and that only takes, like, eight hours to fly there....not eight months (I'm just speculating how long it takes to fly from Antarea to Earth, but it wouldn't surprise me if that's how long this fictional journey took!). This has to be the worst travel plans ever. 

Now you may remember Bernie (Jack Gilford) as the only person of this old people friend group who did NOT get on the spaceship (smart man, in my opinion!). His wife died in the first movie and he still misses her terribly. Bernie is still at Sunny Shores even though I thought that place had closed down since all the other residents left to go to Antarea. But then again, they're in Florida and there is no shortage of senior citizens in Florida! After we see a scene of Bernie talking to his wife at her gravesite, he's in his room, attempting to hang himself, but it's not working. He hears a knock on his door right before he's going to step off the table and tells whoever is on the side to wait a minute, but once he realizes it's not his day to die, he just gives up with the suicide attempt and answers the door. And it's a good thing his suicide attempt didn't work because he finds his friends who he hasn't seen for the past five years and is thrilled to see them. This includes Art (Don Ameche), Joe (Hume Cronyn), Alma (Jessica Tandy), and Bess (Gwen Verdon). Joe and Alma are married (as were Hume Cronyn and Jessica Tandy were in real life....so cute!) and Art and Bess were a thing in the first movie and must have gotten married while in Antarea....or maybe they got married in the first movie and I don't remember. Who knows. All I know is that they're married now. 

Bernie thinks his friends have come back to Earth for good, but they're not. They don't want to tell him until he's ready to handle the news. I honestly still don't know why they're there. They have nothing to do with helping Kitty and the two other guys retrieve the pods. And I can't blame Bernie for thinking they returned for good.

Joe and Art meet Ruby (Elaine Stritch), a woman who runs the motel they're staying at until they leave. At first I thought Art was gonna have thing for her and cheat on his wife, but then I quickly realize she's gonna be used to be set up with Bernie.

Joe, Art, and Ben stop at Sunny Shores to retrieve Bernie to take him to the beach and as they're leaving, a male nurse tells them to stop and that Bernie's supposed to be in his "rug hooking class." Seriously. Like, why is that mandatory and how would he know where he's supposed to be? Art tells him to take his hands off Bernie and the nurse asks, "Or what?" in a challenging voice and calls him "an old coot". What he doesn't know is that he's messed with the wrong senior citizen! He may be in his 70s, but living in Antarea has rejuvenated him and he is easily able to bodyslam the bigger and younger nurse to the floor. It is hilarious because he literally just assaulted this guy and all the residents around them are applauding. Obviously, nobody likes this bully nurse. 

While at the beach, they see some college girls in bikinis frolicking on the beach and Joe tells the other guys that those girls "need some mature male company." Eww. There's a scene of three of the four old men (guess which one isn't participating?) playing keep away with a beachball while the girls are giggling and acting like airheads. I'm sorry, but there's no way a bunch of college girls would be frolicking and giggling with three senior citizen men...unless they were billionaires or something! 

Meanwhile, Jack has taken Kitty and the two guys on his boat where they are getting ready to scuba dive to retrieve the cocoons. We get a stupid joke where Jack tells Kitty, "You're my favorite martian." If this joke was used today (which it wouldn't be), it would go over everybody's head. At least people of a certain age. I've heard of My Favorite Martian (a TV sitcom from the mid-60s; I had to look that part up), but I've never seen it.

While the others are scuba-diving, Jack sees a boat from the St. Petersburg Oceanographic Institute and they have captured a cocoon. Ruh-row! Now we are introduced to these characters, but the only one you really need to know is Sara (played by a pre-Friends Courteney Cox). Trust me, I wouldn't have remembered her name if it wasn't the same as mine and probably would have just called her Monica! 

At the lab at the Oceanographic Institute, they are taking X-rays of the cocoon and one guy think it's a meteorite, but Sara doesn't think it came from the sky because it doesn't have the markings that would be characteristic of one. In the X-ray, they see a human form. Think a fetus, but an adult version of one. They are literally seeing a human shape in this cocoon and nobody is freaking out. They all seem pretty chill that there's a life form inside this giant rock. Okay, sure. 

Oh, and while all this is happening, Jack, Kitty, and the two random dudes have followed them so they know where their friend has been taken so they'll be able to rescue him later. And if you're wondering how the scientist from the Oceanographic Institute were able to find the cocoon so easily, it was because it was knocked out of its hiding space from an earthquake. It's not like they just left them laying around for people to easily find them. Cuz that would just be stupid. Jack is surprised when the aliens decide they're going to rescue their friend in three days. That will be right before their spaceship is set to arrive and take them back home. He tells them by then that they will have cut the cocoon open and start performing experiments on their friend. Hey, he's not totally wrong. 

They do eventually cut the pod open and Sara is all smiles at the weird and creepy alien being. It's obviously a human dressed up in some weird prosthetic with a glowing aura, so that just adds to the uncanniness. It is the most terrifying thing and I wouldn't be acting like it's some cute puppy that I discovered. Sara finds out she can communicate with the alien they have named "Phil" (no clue why....was that an alien on My Favorite Martian?) when he makes her watch beep. It beeps constantly and it's the most irritating sound. She finds it charming and cute, but I would find it super annoying and grating. She plays a game with him where they give him cards with shapes on it and she has the same cards and he has to guess what she has and he gets them right, so I guess he's clairvoyant? It honestly goes nowhere so it doesn't matter. 

Sara finds out they want to give the alien to the government because they believe "there's a genuine national security issue." Not sure what Phil has done to make them believe that. It's not like he's trying to take over the world and destroying mankind like the aliens in Independence Day! These aliens seem pretty peaceful and just want to lay low. 

Kitty and the other aliens know the the cocoon has been opened (I guess they can sense it? IDK! I don't question it!). They think their friend will be okay for a little while (yeah, as long as he doesn't get dissected!), but if he doesn't get an "infusion of life force soon, he'll weaken quickly." 

Ben bonds with his grandson when he sees that David is not very good at baseball (he plays on a a team and his other teammates make fun of him for how much he sucks) and helps him with his batting skills. It's a good thing David has his grandparents to look after him since his mom is God knows where. Ben and Mary discuss how they're getting older on Earth (what the eff? They're only there for four days, so it's not like they're getting that much older! I'm sure four days isn't going to put a dent in the aging process, good Lord!), but they're happy to be back to spend some quality time with their grandson (but apparently not their daughter!). 

Since the senior citizens are only on the planet for a few days, they are keen on getting down to boogie! Maybe they don't have social events like this on Antarea. Who knows. We barely hear anything about this mysterious planet except that you never get sick or age. The three couples are out dancing while Bernie is sitting at a table by himself. Ha, out of all these old people, I'm totally the Bernie of the group. His friends join him and Art tells him, "I see something that will get his juices flowing" and we see that he's looking at Ruby who's sitting at the bar. They must have invited her over because the next thing we see is all the old people sitting around the (extremely tiny!) table talking and joking. Ruby tells them, "You are my kind of group. Most people our age are a pain in the ass." Heh, as somebody who works with senior citizens, no comment! (But many of them are lovely!) I love when Bernie deadpans, "Most people our age are dead" and at first they're shocked, but then they start laughing. Bernie proceeds to do a bunch of impressions including Laurel and Hardy, then does a very specific impression which is of "an eagle who just found out his teenage daughter's pregnant." I have to admit, I didn't really get that one, but, weirdly, he did kind of look like an eagle. I was a bit confused why he was doing a comedy routine because it seemed so out of character for Bernie, but after looking up Jack Gilford's Wikipedia page, it made sense because he started his career doing impressions and I'm sure Laurel and Hardy and an eagle were just some that he did! 

Ruby tells Bernie that he's adorable and gives him a kiss on the lips. Wow, she's certainly forward! Bernie doesn't like that and I can't blame him. He tells her he's a married man and she's confused because his friend had told her that he was single. Let's just say the evening does not end well for either one of them.

While writing this review, it's only now I'm realizing just how much stuff is crammed in this movie and these old people are sure doing a lot in the few days they're visiting Earth! I mean, I get it, they want to try to get as much done as they can before they go back to their home on an entirely different planet and who knows what you can do on Earth that you can't do on Antarea. 

Alma is walking through a park near the beach when she sees a little girl bump her head on the playground equipment. The girl starts crying so Alma goes over to the woman who's trying to comfort the girl (at first I assumed she was the girl's mother, but I think she just ran the playgroup the girl was a part of) and asks if she can help. She then proceeds to cover the girl's head with her hands and a glowing light appears and the girl stops crying. The woman asks Alma to watch the rest of the children while she takes the girl to the first aid station. I love how this woman just leaves the rest of the children with this elderly woman she just met. Yes, Jessica Tandy has the friendliest and kindest face in the world, but she's a 75-year-old woman who probably won't be able to chase after a child if one decides to run away. 

The only time we learn anything remotely about Antarea is when Alma has gathered the children around the swing set and is telling them a "story" about the planet. We learn that they can float there and there are three pale pink moons. Also, apparently there's no ice cream? What kind of hellhole is this? 

Later that day, Alma tells her husband that she's been offered a job by the woman who runs a preschool for foster children. First of all, why is this woman offering a 75-year old a job? And I know the woman doesn't know it, but Alma and Joe are leaving in two days anyway. Joe points this out and Alma replies she wanted the fantasy of getting a job offer to last a little longer. I don't know, but when I'm 75, I doubt I would call getting a job offer a "fantasy". 

So what had Joe been doing earlier that day? Glad you asked cuz now we're about to get to my favorite scene of the movie and it's my favorite scene because it's so hilarious and ridiculous. Actually, now that I think of it, there might be a scene even more hilarious and ridiculous than this one if you can believe it. Joe, Ben, Art, and Bernie are about to eat lunch at a picnic table near a basketball court and a ball bounces over the fence and splatters Bernie with ketchup when it lands on the table. The four young guys (probably in their twenties) who were playing basketball, come over to retrieve their ball and they get in an altercation with the older men when Bernie starts complaining about what happened. Ben bets the younger guys $10 they (the older crew) can make eleven baskets before the young crew can. Why eleven and not ten, don't ask me. Also, ten dollars seems cheap even in 1990 money. 

The game starts and Bernie is just standing there. After one of the older men make their second basket, one of the young guys says, "No more charity, now we're gonna play." Okay, I can see him saying that if the older guys had made five or six baskets, but you're getting scared because they made two baskets? And you're seven baskets ahead of them? Really? In hindsight, I guess they should have been worried, but it seems a little premature to get worried about it now. 

Ben calls a time out after the older guys are beating them nine to two and Joe and Art huddle with him. I love that Bernie is not even involved because he could care less. Ben tells his friends it's time they show them "what they learned" and this is when all play basketball like they're Michael Jordan....why they didn't do this from the beginning, you got me. There's even one ridiculous moment where Joe makes a basket and he's literally floating in the air (due to awful special effects) and none of the younger guys even question this at all. They must have seen it! Somebody other than the Antarean residents must have seen that because a few people have gathered around the court, outside the fence and are cheering the old geezers on. There is this hilarious moment where they two twelve year old on bike give each other a high five and it's so dorky. It was so hilariously bad that I had to share it with you:


Obviously, the older men win and collect their winnings. During the game, Joe writhes in pain, but nobody seems to notice. Unfortunately, we will later learn that this is due to his leukemia coming back, which he was diagnosed with in the first movie, but it disappeared once he started soaking in the pool with the pods. The doctor he sees tells him he doesn't know if he has six months or six years left. I'm confused. He's going back to Antarea in two or three day, right? (At this point, I have no clue how many days are left in their short visit to Earth). So as long as he doesn't drop dead before then, he should be okay....unless I'm not factoring in the four month (presumably) journey back to Antarea. That could pose a problem....unless they have their life forces on the spaceship. Ugh, the problem with this movie is that we don't have enough information about how these life forces work and where they're kept. I mean, it's not the only problem with this movie! 

There's a cute scene of the ladies trying on fancy old-lady clothes at a store, like they're in Pretty Woman. This scene pretty much confirms that Jessica Tandy was the most adorable old lady who ever lived. Bess ends up fainting and we later find out that she is pregnant. WTF? This woman is no younger than sixty, how the hell can she be pregnant? We see a montage of her and Art getting ready for their baby and this includes them shopping for baby clothes. It I were in that store and saw them, I would just think it's an old couple shopping for an upcoming grandchild. We also see them in a lamaze class where the much younger couples are just staring at them. Why are they even bothering with this when, again, they are only on the effing planet for three days and also, how are they not getting on the news for being the oldest couple ever to have a baby? Honestly, I think they just threw this lame plot twist in because they had nothing for Bess to do. 

Also, I have a question that probably is never going to be answered, so I don't know why I'm even bothering to ask it, but how does this age thing work on Antarea? Like, are you always the age you are when you go there or do you stop aging at a certain point? Cuz if it's the former, their baby is going to remain a newborn forever! And that sounds terrible....for everyone! 

Ruby and Jack go on a second date and everything seems to be going pretty well (he tells her he thinks she's pretty and they kiss) until they're dancing and he thinks he see his wife. Ruby tells him his wife is dead and he's alive and that he's using his wife as "an excuse so [he doesn't] have to go on living." It is a little amusing because Ruby and Jack's first wife, Rose, are just so different. Let me give you a side by side comparison:

Okay, it's not really side by side, but one above the other, but whatever. Rose gives off a grandmotherly vibe who likes to bake cookies and sew while Ruby is more of a Blanche Devereaux type. They just give off totally different vibes. By the way, I was pretty proud of myself because I had no idea Elaine Stritch was in this movie, but when I first saw her in a scene I thought it was Elaine Stritch and I looked it up and I was right! 

It probably won't surprise you that in the end, Jack and Ruby reconcile and things between them at the end are good. 

We get some foreshadowing when Ben and Mary are talking about how much they miss being around their grandson and how they missed his 14th birthday (uh....didn't they miss his previous last five birthdays and won't they miss seeing him grow up?). Mary indeed does point out they they've missed the last five years of David's life and tells her husband that she wants to stay so they can all be together. Yes, Mary! That's what you should have said in the first movie! Ben tells her everyone around them is sick and dying and doesn't want that to happen to her. Okay, is this really true? He doesn't even know that Joe's cancer has returned and besides Bernie's wife, who else do they know that has died in the last few years? I feel like Ben is being a tad hyperbolic here. Mary tells him that people shouldn't outlive their children. She forgot to mention people also shouldn't outlive their grandchildren! 

Now we get the most ridiculous and stupidest scene of the movie when Kitty "shows" Jack his future when he's bemoaning he'll never find anyone to share his life with. And the worst part is that this scene is supposed to be taken seriously! In any other movie, this would have been seen as satirical. Kitty tells Jack to close his eyes and places her hand on his forehead and this allows her to show him his future. Um, okay, this is a new development with these Antarean aliens, but never mind that! Jack's "current self" is walking by a lake and he's either wearing pajamas or leisure wear....I don't know what he's wearing, but his shirt is unbuttoned. He comes across a large house that's painted white (I can't just type "White House" because it literally just capitalizes it....yeah, like that) with black shutters and pillars. He sees two young girls with a maid/nanny in the front yard (where an old fancy car is parked....I don't know my cars, but I'm sure it's expensive). The girls looks like extras from Mary Poppins, dressed in sailor dresses and large brimmed hats with ribbons that tie around their chins. Like, what century are we in? We see a woman dressed in a matching dress and hat come out the front door. You can't see her face because it's hidden by the hat, but it's so obvious it's Courteney Cox. After all, she's the only other woman in the movie that's Jack's age aside from Kitty, but we know Jack can't have a future with Kitty because a) she's an alien, b) she lives on an entirely different planet, and c), she's an alien! The "mystery" woman brushes her hair back and we see she has a birthmark in the shape of a heart on her neck, behind her ear.

I though the outfit Jack is wearing just strolling about is ridiculous, but then the front door opens and he sees his future self (and keep in mind the is probably only a few years in the future) walk out looking absolutely ridiculous in a navy blue suit jacket and yellow tie and white pants and he's smoking a pipe (wonder what's in that pipe?). He hugs the girls, then the woman. It's so obvious that this is his family in the near future. Either Sara makes a good living as a scientist or he got a better job because I don't know how he's affording all these things.

It's the last day of the senior citizen's field trip to Earth and they have found out about Phil, so they tell Kitty that they'll help her get her friend back since the Antareans have given them so much and they want to help. She tells them that the spaceship will meet them at the rendezvous point at midnight and if they have any "unfinished business" today is the day to do it. Duh, Kitty, they only have one last day on Earth. Also, why are they only visiting for four days? This is so stupid. And....I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY THEY CAME BACK IN THE FIRST PLACE! It sure damn well wasn't to rescue their friend because at that point they didn't even know there would be any rescuing to do! This movie literally makes zero sense. They still haven't told Bernie that they're not staying and Art tells the others they need to tell him, but he conveniently overheard everything and now he's mad. 

Apparently Alma took the job at the day care because we see her playing kickball with the kids and the ball goes into the street. (Why are they letting young children play by a busy street?) A stupid young boy chases the ball and Alma runs after him. Of course, she saves the boy from getting hit by a car and she gets hit instead. She's taken to the hospital where the doctor tells Joe that she won't make it through the night. Remember when Alma healed that young girl's bruised head with her glowing powers? Well, Joe uses his powers to heal his wife. I wonder why he couldn't do the same for himself. Maybe it only works on exterior body ailments or he ran out of power. She wakes up and tells him she dreamed something was pulling her further and further away but he wouldn't let her go. Joe is the one that ends up dying because of his cancer. I figured one of our older characters was going to die when they retuned to Earth. 

After Joe has died, Ben and Art are walking on the beach. Art says, "We never should have come back. If we stayed put, this never would have happened." Duh, you think? Also, his line should have been, "We never should have made this movie."! 

Before his grandparents leave, David gifts his grandfather with a baseball that he has written "I love you, Grandpa" on it. Even if I didn't already know that his grandparents would end up staying, I feel pretty confident that I would have correctly predicted it. We get this scene, plus the other scenes where Mary keeps telling her husband how much stuff they're missing by not being on the same planet as their daughter and grandson. I also love that we still haven't seen David's mother since she fainted. I just picture her still being unconscious by the front door. 

So Ben and Art go to the science facility to help Kitty and Jack rescue Phil while the other women are....doing something. I honestly don't remember. I won't bore you with the details, but it consists of Kitty changing into her alien form. Actually, I don't really remember, but the rescue operation is successful and Sara sees them running away with the alien and she yells at them to stop, but Ben tells her that this is their friend and they're taking him home so she just lets them go. This place has the worst security ever. Oh, and David was there to help them because apparently he was able to sneak in the trunk of his grandparents' car without them noticing and this isn't revealed to the audience until we see him get out of the trunk. I love how his grandfather isn't even that surprised when he sees David at the facility, he just tells him to hold the door open for him. 

So now everyone is at the boat which is where the spaceship will pick them up (just like in the first movie). Ben thanks David for his help and tells him after all that, hitting a baseball should be easy? Huh? He literally just held a door open....how is that like hitting a baseball? David tells him he wishes he could be there to see his games and without any fanfare, his grandfather replies, "We will be" and his wife starts crying (from happiness, I hope). Seriously, if I were Mary, I would be a little peeved. She has been telling him all this time that they should stay and he's like no, no, no, but then when he decides they should stay, they stay. What the hell? Actually, I thought Bernie and Ruby might take their place, but it wouldn't be in Bernie's character to go so I'm glad that prediction didn't come true. Alma is also staying so she can continue to work at the day care, but I think she's staying only because her husband died and it would be too painful to live an eternity without him. But that's just my analyzation. 

So this means that Art and Bess are the only humans going back. What is the point of that if all their friends are staying on Earth? (And they'll all be in the same area on Earth!) Yeah, I know they're also friends with the aliens, but it's not the same. Oh, wait, I forgot other residents from Sunny Shores also went on the spaceship in the first movie, so I guess there are other humans there as well. I wonder if this is why they made Bess pregnant so they could have them raise their child on a different planet even though we will never see a second of this. 

This is when we see Walter, the main alien from the first movie, make a quick appearance to say a quick goodbye to everyone who's not coming back. 

It's at this point I'm wondering when are we going to see any interaction between Jack and Sara. After all, they're supposed to end up with each other and so far they haven't had any screen time together. The movie ends with Jack on his boat at night and Sara comes up and asks for some gas. She asks him because his boat was the only light she saw. Jack tells her he can give her a lift to the gas station which is down the way and she agrees. Uh....this is a great way to get murdered! A pretty, young woman accepts a ride from a random stranger in the dark of night. Yep, that's going to end well. (I listen to too many true crime podcasts.) Well, actually it does end well because if Kitty's promotions are right, they end up happily married and rich with two daughters. Or maybe she'll end up in New York, live in an extremely large apartment, change her name to Monica and become a chef and get married to another guy. Haha, a little Friends humor there. Oh, and this is when it's "revealed" to Jack and audience that Sara is the "mystery" woman with the heart-shaped birth mark. What a shock! It sure would have been nice to see those two meet in a previous scene and then we could have seen their relationship form instead of this random scene that felt more like an afterthought.

While the credits roll, we see clips of the first movie. It feels like they're trying to tell us that we just watched this movie because we loved the first movie so much, which is true, but it also reminds me of how much better the first movie is. Do yourself a favor and skip this movie and watch the first one! 

Tuesday, July 18, 2023

Save the Miracle, Save the Madrigals

Encanto
Directors: Jared Bush and Byron Howard
Voice Talent: Stephanie Beatriz, John Leguizamo, Diane Guerreo, Wilmer Valderrama, Jessica Darrow, Maria Cecelia Botero
Released: November 24, 2021

Oscar nominations:
Best animated movie (won)


So if you can believe it, I went this long without ever hearing a note from "We Don't Talk About Bruno." All I knew was that Bruno was the uncle in this family and all I could wonder was what Bruno did that his name is never spoken. I was thinking it had to be something pretty nefarious! Spoiler alert: not really. 

We are introduced to the Madrigals, a magical family who lives in Colombia. Their home (Casita!) houses the candle that "holds the miracle given to the family." There are many, many members of the Madrigal family, but Mirabel (voiced by Stephanie Beatriz) is the protagonist and as a young girl, her Abuela tells her (and the audience, let's be real here) the story of how their family received the miracle. When she and her husband, Pedro, are forced out of their home with their newborn triplets because of civil conflict, I'm assuming, her husband is "lost" (a nicer word for "killed" in a Disney movie) and his sacrifice gave them the miracle: "The candle became a magical flame that could never go out" and it created an "Encanto" where it changed the landscape around them and gave them a magical house (and it's a pretty cool house, I must say), Casita! When her triplets became "of age" (which appears to be around five or six; when has that ever been the age for becoming of age? Seems a bit young to me!), "the miracle blessed each with a magic gift to help [them]." And their children would also receive "magic gifts" when they became of age too. 

Like I said, this is a big family and we have a lot of people to introduce (in fact, the very first song in the movie is pretty much about how many people are in the Madrigal family and what their magical gift is and trying to keep them straight. I admit, I was confused with who was who, but by the middle of the movie, I was able to keep everyone straight. So here is everyone in the family and what their magical gift is:

-Like I mentioned earlier, Abuela (I don't remember if we ever know her first name, she just seems to go by "grandmother") is the matriarch of the Madrigal family. She doesn't really have a magical gift as she was too old to acquire one, but I guess she's the "Keeper of the Flame", so to speak. Abuela's triplets are Julieta, Peppa, and Bruno. Of course, we don't talk about Bruno...but I will tell you that his gift is he can see the future. Some of his "predictions" are just super obvious things that will happen (such as a goldfish dying). This ability of seeing the future doesn't have the townspeople too keen on him and that's one of the reasons he leaves, but also because he saw a vision he didn't like. I would definitely hate to have this so-called gift. Maybe some people would like to predict the future, but not me. All I would do is worry about when I will die or when someone close to me will die and that's literally all I will think about and worry about. 

Her two daughters are both married and they each have three children themselves. Let's start with Pepa:

-Pepa's gift is that she can control the weather. I think. Honestly, I was a little confused because it seems like she would just control the weather literally over her head as a storm cloud would appear over her head if she was in a very bad mood or if she was in a good mood, no rain. But when it was raining right over her head, it didn't appear to be raining anywhere else in their town. Controlling the weather would be something I wouldn't mind to have. I would never make it snow, especially if I had to go somewhere. But if it I were home with nowhere to be and had all my essentials, then let it snow, let it snow, let it snow. (I absolutely hate driving in snow...the two times I've gotten in car accidents were because of snow and ice and it gives me severe anxiety attacks). I would also make it where it was never below 50 degrees, but never higher than, oh, say, 81 degrees. 

Pepa is married to Felix. He is just a mere mortal and does not have any special gift. (This will also apply to Juliet's husband). Their three children, from oldest to youngest, are:

-Dolores is their eldest daughter, probably 18-20 years old. She has the worst gift of all. And I don't mean worst as in its useless (there are others who have more useless gifts than her), but worst as in it is absolutely horrific. If I had her "gift", I would probably kill myself. Maybe that sounds extreme, but I honestly think I would go mental if I had to deal with what she has. So Dolores' magic gift is that she has super-hearing. At first, I thought she could just hear conversations from far away and she was just a professional eavesdropper. Now, if that were the case, I wouldn't mind having that super power. You could just listen to people's conversations all day long without being suspected. But it's not just people's conversation she can hear. It is everything. EV.ERY.THING. At one point she mentions she can hear the insects walking across the floor. OMG, can you imagine if you heard every little thing like that? It would be constant and never-ending. I remember spending the night at a friend's house and there was a ticking clock that drove me absolutely crazy with its constant tick-tick-tick-tick sound. Finally, I just moved it to a drawer or somewhere or did something with it so the sound was muffled. 

In the context of the story, it makes sense for someone to have this "gift" because it will play a big part in the movie, but, ugh! No, thank you! Terrible super power.

-Camilo is the Mystique of this movie meaning he can shapeshift into anybody. Though, I'm not sure if that's quite true because he only seems to shapeshift into people who he's around, so maybe he need to acquire the DNA of people he's physically close to to be able to turn into? I'm not sure; they really didn't go into detail. In real life, you could have a lot of fun with this ability; but you could also get into a lot of mischief with it. It's definitely something you wouldn't want somebody with evil intentions to have, which is probably the reason in most movies, the bad guy has this super power! Because the Madrigals are a good family, Camilo doesn't use his powers for evil, but he doesn't really use them for good either. It's just an ability he has. In one scene, we see him morph into a woman so he can take care of the woman's baby while she gets some rest. And when the Madrigals have a party, he morphs into each guests so he can greet them as themselves. It's so weird. Like, why would I want to be greeted by myself? That would freak me the f*** out. He morphs into his sister so he can get seconds on food. When they sing the "We Don't Talk About Bruno" song, he morphs into Bruno which is why I think this is the only reason he has this "gift". Honestly, super useless. 

-Last but not least is Antonio, who is not only the youngest child of Pepa and Felix, but also the youngest member of all the Madrigal family. He is turning five (or maybe six; I honestly don't remember), which means he will soon be getting his special gift. Let's put a pin in that for now.

Now let's move on to to the final triplet:

-Julieta is married to Agustin (voiced by Wilmer Valderrama) and they also have three children. There must be some prophecy that every member of the Madrigal has three children because I'm seeing a pattern here. Overall, the special gifts that Julieta and her children have far outweigh those that Pepa and her children have (in my opinion!). Julieta has an amazing gift that is actually beneficial and helps people: she can heal people with her cooking. All she has to do is give someone some food she's cooked and she's healed a broken finger or cut or any ailment they may have. Now that is a powerful and useful gift! 

Julieta and Agustin have three daughters:

-Isabela (voiced by Diane Guerrero) is the oldest (probably 20-21) and at first I didn't really appreciate her gift for what it truly was. She can grow flowers out of thin air and while she can make any place beautiful and smell wonderful, I didn't really see the point of her ability until I realized it wasn't just flowers she could grow, but any kind of vegetation. Now that certainly upped her superpower game! Because of her, the people in their town will never go hungry. She literally has every single crop there is at her fingertips. She is a very valuable member of her family and the community. Hell, she's a valuable citizen of the world! Keep this young woman safe at all costs! 

-Luisa (voiced by Jessica Darrow) is the middle daughter, probably 18/19 years old. She has super strength. There's always one of these in the group when you have a group of people with powers. She is able to move buildings, reroute the river, lift heavy animals, etc. 

-And, finally we have Mirabel, who I mentioned earlier, is the protagonist of the movie. She is fifteen years old and we find out that she actually doesn't have a special gift. After we get the backstory of how the Madrigals received their powers, the movie starts on the day of Antonio's ceremony where he is to receive his gift. Abuela is super nervous about the day because she's worried that the same thing that happened to Mirabel might happen to Antonio. Remember, nobody has received their gift since Mirabel so if Antonio doesn't get his, then probably nobody in the Madrigal family will probably ever receive one ever again. Everyone is getting ready for the big day (Isabela is covering the place with flowers) and Mirabel is trying to help in her own way, but Abuela just tells her to keep out of the way and that can be her way of "helping". Heh, poor Mirabel. 

Even though Casita is a house, it might be my favorite character. Casita is awesome! During the ceremony, when the guests arrive, they house moves its tiles around so they are able to put their hats on it. Young kids run up the stairs, then the house turns the steps into a slide and it looks so fun. I want to live in Casita! 

So each member of the family has their own special room which is this big, expansive area where they are able to hone their gifts. Think of the closet in Narnia: when you open the door, you are pretty much in another world. Since Mirabel doesn't have a magical gift, she never received her own special room and her room is the nursery she's been sharing with Antonio. Mirabel is 15/16 and Antonio is 5/6. Even though they get along and have a cute relationship, I would hate to share a room with a 5/6 year old - especially as a teenager! 

During Antonio's ceremony where he will be heading upstairs to turn the doorknob to learn of his fate and obtain his new room, he wants Mirabel to walk with him up the stairs as everyone is lining the pathway, watching them. Way to rub it in, kid! Now everyone is watching Mirabel walk up the stairs with him and they all know that she didn't get her gift. Obviously, this was done so we can see Mirabel having flashbacks of her own failed ceremony. In her version, when she reached for the doorknob of what was supposed to be her room, it vanished. As Antonio is about to reach out and touch his doorknob, Abuela looks super nervous. When the knob starts to glow when he touches it, she is immediately relieved. Out of nowhere, a toucan lands on his arm and chirps. Antonio quickly realizes his gift is that he can communicate with animals and his room is just a huge jungle full of trees and vines and rivers. Which is kinda ironic because they live in Colombia and his room is now pretty much what it looks like outside beyond their town. 

There was some nice foreshadowing of his gift when earlier Mirabel had given him a stuffed leopard as a gift because she know he's "an animal guy." So I guess your magical gift correlates with an interest or quality you already have. 

While everyone is rejoicing in Antonio's magic room (and Abuela is having a fiesta! She tells the guests, "The magic is strong and so are the drinks!"), Mirabel sees a huge crack forming in the tiles of Casita that goes up the wall and stairs until it starts to spread everywhere throughout the house. She goes to the jungle room to warn Abuela and the others, but when they step out of the room the house is back to normal and there are no cracks anywhere. Abuela does not look pleased with Mirabel and thinks she's only doing this to gain attention. 

However, later that night, Mirabel overhears her grandmother asking her husband (she's looking at a framed photo of him) to help save the miracle so she must know something is up. Mirabel vows to herself that she will help save the miracle. 

She decides to ask Dolores if she knows anything since her cousin can hear everything. Dolores tells her she thinks Luisa knows something because she "heard her eyes twitching all night." Dear God. Dolores really does have the worst "gift" ever. I wonder why she even obtained such a horrible ability. Probably because she's a gossip (as we'll see later on) and likes to eavesdrop on people. 

Antonio's gift of communicating with animals doesn't really go anywhere, but we do get a few funny gags throughout the movie including one where Abuela is about to sit down, but there are three small animals on her chair and Antonio tells her that he told them to warm up her seat. I don't know about you, but I don't like sitting in a spot after someone else has sat there....especially if it's a stranger. 

After we get Luisa's song (which is pretty dang catchy if I do say so myself), she admits to Mirabel that she felt weak last night after Mirabel had seen the cracks in the house. She also tells her that before their Uncle Bruno had left, he had "some terrible vision about it" and tells her sister to go to Bruno's room to find the vision. Mirabel asks her how one finds a vision and Luisa replies, "If you find it, you'll know."

Apparently his room is off limits, so Mirabel has to sneak in when no one is around. It is full of sand and there's a million steps that take you into a cave. The gif to the right does a good job of showing just how vast his room is and how many steps you have to climb. After we get a montage of her walking up all those stairs (I guess climbing all those stairs gives you time to reflect and meditate before you perform your vision seeing? IDK?), there is a chunk of the cliff that has crumbled so there is a big gap between the top of the steps and the entrance to the cave. She has to swing a rope from side to the other. She's lucky she had something to get to the other side, but I'm curious as how she got back to the other side because from what I can tell, it looks like the rope is more accessible from the side she came from. 

The toucan, the same one who had "spoken" to Antonio earlier in the movie, has joined Mirabel on her adventure as it can easily fly to the top of the cliff, then fly across the chasm. But once it sees Mirabel is about to go into dark cave, it flies away, leaving Mirabel all alone. Not exactly the loyal Disney pet! In the dark cave, she sees a bunch of glowing green glass in the sand and when she puts three pieces together, she sees an image of herself. The walls start to crack and sand is pouring in, so she quickly gathers the rest of the glass pieces and gets out. The next scene we see her back in Casita, so we never find out how she got over the gap when the rope swing was on the other side. 

Mirabel wants to know more about the vision Bruno saw, but as we all know, they don't talk about Bruno! This is when we get that song. The song is catchy, I'll give it that, but I don't understand why people were trying to act like it was the next "Let It Go" or something. During the song, Camilo turns into Bruno and it seems this is the only reason why they have Camilo as a shapeshifter. 

Mirabel puts the vision puzzle together in her room. Her dad comes in and it's obvious he sees it even though she tries to hide it by standing in front of the table it's on. She realizes she's been caught and all she can do is tell him the truth: "I broke into Bruno's tower, I found his last vision, the family's in trouble, the magic is dying, the house is breaking, Luisa's gift is fading and I think it's all because of... me?" 

This also just so happens to be the evening that Isabel's fiancé's and his mother are coming over and Agustin makes the decision that they will say nothing about what happened because Abuela wants this night to be perfect. He tells Mirabel this as he gathers the pieces and puts them in his pocket. (Why not just find a drawer in Mirabel's room to put them in....but we'll later find out they will need to be accessible in the next scene). He tells Mirabel to act normal and no one will even know. Of course, when they open the door, they see Dolores (the one who can hear every little thing, remember) standing across the courtyard with a look of shock on her face. She whispers, "I know", heh.

During dinner, Mirabel is staring intently at Dolores to make sure she doesn't say anything, but when someone passes a bowl of avocados to her and blocks her view, she sees Dolores whisper something to Camilo, then he says something to his dad, who says something to his wife, who has a dark storm cloud over her which is getting quite big and covering everyone. She whispers to Julieta. This is like a big game of Telephone. Heh, I wonder if kids of today even know about that game. You know, since everybody texts each other now. 

Mirano, Isabel's fiancé, asks Mirabel if everything is okay because she's acting very nervous. Agustin speaks for her and tells him she's fine and that she's excited for him to propose which he thinks he should do now. Mirano's mother says that he wanted to begin with a song before he proposed. Mirabel says it's tradition to sing after the proposal. It's so obvious she and her dad are trying to get the proposal official before anything can be ruined, but can't Mirano always call it off if he wanted to? It's a moot point anyway because Antonio's animal pals start putting the puzzle together under the table. (The reason why it was necessary for the pieces to be nearby). 

Everything turns into chaos and when Abuela demands to know what is happening, Dolores tells everyone. Everyone is angry with Mirabel (well, mostly Abuela and Isabel). She sees rats scurry away with the glass pieces of the vision and follows them through a portrait in the wall which leads her to find her Uncle Bruno (voiced by John Leguizamo) who apparently has been living in the walls. This must be a pretty big house if he's got enough room to live between the walls! Though, Casita is a magical house, so it makes sense to me. 

He tells her no one was ever supposed to see the vision. Mirabel doesn't understand why he left, but didn't actually leave. He starts making excuses about having free food (where he's located in the walls, it's "kitchen adjacent") and he couldn't go anywhere else because the mountains are pretty tall. (Honestly, I'm surprised he just didn't live in his -or another of his family members' - vast room. He tells her that he loves his family, but his gift wasn't helping them. She wants to know why she was in his vision and if she's hurting their family. We find out that he had a vision of her not receiving her magic gift and Abuela wanted him to look into the future to see what it meant. He did and saw "the magic in danger" and their house breaking. When he saw Mirabel, the vision changed and the "future was undecided." He left to protect her. He never watched the entire vision. Wouldn't it be best to watch the whole vision - no matter how difficult - and do the opposite of what happened if something bad is happening? IDK! 

Mirabel wants him to have another vision so he can see more, but he tells her he doesn't do visions anymore. Even if he wanted to, he can't since his room has been ruined. At that point, Antonio appears and tells them that they can use his room. He explains that the rats told him everything. There's a funny moment where his pet jaguar is about to eat the rats and he tells it, "Don't eat those." I have to wonder what the jaguar, Antonio's only carnivore animal pal, eats. He can't eat any of the other animals because they're Antonio's confidants. Does Julieta go to the market and buy meat for the jaguar? 

Bruno performs his vision in Antonio's jungle room with Mirabel (and a capybara who seems unimpressed, ha!), but just sees the same thing. Mirabel notices a flapping butterfly and they follow it. It appears to transform into the candle which is getting brighter. They see a vision of Mirabel hugging someone; it turns out to be her sister, Isabela. I laughed at her incredulous, "ISABELA!" Their embrace appears to make the candle glow brighter. 

She doesn't think Isabela will hug her because she's mad at her for ruining her proposal. Bruno tells Mirabel after she saves the miracle, she should visit him, but she tells him after she saves the miracle, she's bringing him home. I'm not really sure why hugging her sister has anything to do with saving the miracle and there's no way it can be that easy. 

We've seen Antonio's (brand new) jungle room, we've seen Bruno's sand-infested room, and now we will soon see Isabel's room overflowing with flowers. These are the only rooms we will see (though we see a brief few seconds of Pepa's room) and it kind of makes you wonder what the other rooms look like. Like, does Camilo's room have a bunch of mirrors so he can practice morphing into different people? Is Luisa's room just a big gym with a spa? 

It's pretty amusing how Mirabel goes into Isabel's room and apologies for the way she's been acting and tells her she wants to be a better sister and that they should "hug it out", but Isabela isn't having any of it. We get her song where she sings about being perfect is a big burden on her and that she never wanted to marry Mariano and that she was only "doing it for the family." We also find out she'd rather make things like cacti with her power, something that may not be deemed as pretty as a flower as she sings, "I just made something unexpected; something sharp, something new. It's not symmetrical or perfect, but it's beautiful and it's mine." After the musical number, the two sisters have a better understanding of each other and Mirabel tells her grandmother that she's going to save the miracle, but Abuela is angry and blames Mirabel for everything that's going wrong. Mirabel comes to the realization that she will never be good enough for her grandmother who tells her she does't know why Mirabel didn't get a gift, but "it is not an excuse for [her] to hurt this family." Mirabel next comes to the conclusion that nobody in the family will ever be good enough for Abuela and accuses her of being the one that doesn't care about the family, which doesn't go over so well with Abuela.

This must have been the catalyst for Bruno's vision because the house starts cracking and rumbling and falling apart. Mirabel manages to grab the candle before it can topple over and we see Casita protect her from falling debris by covering her with remnants of itself. Unfortunately, the candle's flame is on its last flicker and it goes out, and therefore, so does the magic. It's sad for everyone, especially since they lost their amazing home, but I have to wonder if Dolores was secretly happy to finally not hear every single little minuscule thing. I know I would be. 

With all the chaos going on, an ashamed Mirabel slips away into the jungle and everyone is looking for her. Abuela is the one to find her by the river. Mirabel apologizes to her grandmother and tells her they are a family because of Abuela. They hug and make up. 

Their magic may be gone, but the townspeople have come to help the Madrigals rebuild their home which is done in the course of one song! I mean, obviously, we see time has gone by and it's a clever way to do it, since, you know, this is a musical. 

Remember how Isabela never wanted to marry Mariano? Well, in "We Don't Talk About Bruno", Bruno tells Dolores her "man of her dreams would be just out of reach, betrothed to another." Turns out he was talking about Mariano and he predicted that right as Dolores and Mariano get together. 

Casita is rebuilt and comes back to life. There's a cute moment where it waves one of its shutters, welcoming the family. Mirabel now has her own doorknob which just so happens to be on the front door of the house. So I guess Mirabel is now going to take over for Abuela when she passes on? Everyone has their magic back and all is well again.