'Hook' Me Up

Five years ago I reviewed ten teen movies that came out when I was a teen. (I reviewed them in April and May of 2011 so you can check them out in the archives if you so desire). I decided it was about that time to review ten more movies with a theme and this time, I thought, why not go with ten movies all from the same year? For a lot of cinemaphiles, I know that 1994, 1999 and 2007 are huge movie years. (Just between you and me, while there are certainly movies from 2007 that I like, I never saw it as a huge movie year). I almost thought of reviewing ten movies from '99, but decided not to since it already gets a lot of attention (perhaps another time though?) I wanted to do a year that has a lot of great movies, but also never really gets talked about that much as a great movie year.

The year I chose was 1991. Yes, good old nineteen hundred and ninety one. While I do remember seeing movies in the theater prior to this year, this was the first year I remember seeing quite a few movies in the theater. A lot of these choices do have some nostalgia factor towards my childhood (like the one I'm reviewing below). There are a few I will review that I didn't see in the theater because I was way too young, but did eventually see them later and really liked them. There are even a few that I will be seeing for the very first time (like a certain Oscar winning movie!) Just click on the "1991" tag after you read this review and check out some of the other AMAZING movies from 1991 that I've already reviewed such as Terminator 2, Thelma and Louise, Beauty and the Beast, Fried Green Tomatoes, JFK, and The Prince of Tides. (Well, maybe that last one isn't so amazing, they can't all be great movies. But even that movie has a certain 1991-ness to it, for a lack of a better word).

So let's hop into the DeLorean and go back to 1991 for the next ten reviews! Our first stop is...

Hook
Director: Steven Spielberg
Cast: Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Maggie Smith, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins, Charlie Korsmo
Released: December 11, 1991

Oscar nominations:

Best Art Direction - Set Direction (lost to Bugsy)
Best Costume Design (lost to Bugsy)
Best Sound Effects Editing (lost to Terminator 2)
Best Makeup (lost to Terminator 2)
Best Song - "When You're Alone" by John Williams and Leslie Bricusse (lost to "Beauty and the Beast" by Alan Menken and Howard Ashman)

While I remember seeing this movie in the theater, I really don't remember what I thought of it. I don't have any recollection of loving it, but I also don't remember hating it. I'm sure I thought it was long because I was surprised to find out when I watched it on Netflix last week that  it was two hours and twenty one minutes. That seems a bit long for a movie aimed at kids. Not that it's just for kids, but I guess it's a family movie. I definitely feel like there are places you could trim 21 minutes so you just have a nice, even two hour movie.

There have been a ton (probably over a ton) of Peter Pan adaptations for film and TV. To be honest, I think Hook is the only one I've seen...I don't think I've even seen the actual Disney animated Peter Pan movie that's from 1953. Well, I probably have seen it but don't remember since I was probably a kid when I last saw it. And I did see that season of Once Upon a Time when they did a storyline about Peter Pan. And I also saw Finding Neverland, but wasn't that more about the author? Well, the point I'm trying to make is that I'm not really a Peter Pan fan. However, I do like the concept of Hook which is what if Peter Pan grew up? In this world, Peter Pan is Peter Banning (Robin Williams) and he is married to Wendy's granddaughter. He's a lawyer (I guess that's why he had to change the last name or otherwise nobody would take him seriously!) and has two kids, Jack and Maggie. The catch is that Peter doesn't remember who he really is. His daughter's school puts on a production of Peter Pan and that doesn't ring any bells for him. He doesn't go around bragging to his kids how he used to live in Neverland with the Lost Boys, pirates, and mermaids. (If he did, they'd probably think he was insane!) Instead he has become someone who is so wrapped up in his work and doesn't have time to go to his kids events. He promised his son he would attend his baseball game, but wasn't able to because of work.

"Peter, you've become a pirate!" 

He and his family fly to London to attend an event honoring Grandma Wendy (Maggie Smith) for her charity work with orphanages. Wendy is 95 and while watching this, I was thinking, wow, Maggie Smith looks like she was in her 80s when she filmed this...but I knew that was impossible because this movie was filmed 25 years ago and that would mean she would be well over 100 and I know she is not that old! (A quick look at Wiki told me she's currently 81). She was actually 56 when she filmed Hook and was made up to look older. I had no idea who Maggie Smith was until she played Professor McGonagall, so I'm sure I believed that a 95 year old woman was playing that part when I saw it as a kid! Wendy remembers who he is and is aghast when he yells at his kids for bothering him when he's on the phone. I have to side with him on this one; there's nothing more annoying than when you're trying to talk on the phone and the people in the same room as you can't give you the respect you need!

When Jack and Maggie are kidnapped by Hook (Dustin Hoffman) while Peter and his wife are at the event with Wendy, Wendy has to remind Peter of who he is by showing him the book his story is  based on. Of course, he doesn't believe her. Later that night we see a small glowing object that we all know is Tinkerbell (Julia Roberts) flutter in, trying to get his attention, but annoyed and thinking it's a really big firefly, Peter takes a rolled up newspaper and starts swatting her. Luckily (and for some odd reason), Tinkerbell has the strength of the Hulk and grabs the newspaper and starts swatting at him! For a movie that is a quarter of a century old, the effects of fairy Julia Roberts in contrast with life-size Robin Williams still hold up. There's some pretty clever gags such as she makes her home in a doll house. The one thing I found weird about Tinkbell is that they altered her voice. At least, I think they altered her voice. It sounds very squeaky. There's no way that was Julia's real voice! They must have wanted it to sound more like it was coming from a fairy. With her super-human strength, Tinkerbell flies to Neverland, carrying a passed out Peter Pan in a blanket.

The set of Neverland looks like it would be really fun to play on, like if it was a big playground, but it looks like it would be a pain in the ass if you were working on this movie. There's a lot of extras (which include many kids who are NOT good actors!) and there's just so much stuff going on all the time. Hook wants to have a duel with Peter in order for him to get his kids back and when Peter takes out what Hook thinks is a weapon, it's actually his checkbook and he asks Hook how much he wants for their return. Tinkerbell tells Hook that Peter needs three days of training in order to regain his memory and then they can have their real duel and Hook agrees to these terms.

Tinkerbell takes them to the Lost Boys who are all making fun of him because he's old and out of shape. They really don't have the right to call him out on the latter because one of the Lost Boys is downright fat and needs exercise way more than Peter! However, Peter slowly starts to remember who he is (and he can fly!). Now when someone wants to fly, all they have to do is think of one happy thought and they will soon be soaring in the air. To no one's surprise, Peter's happy thought is his children. Duh. Who didn't see that one coming? However, Hook has gotten to Jack (Charlie Korsmo) first and is trying to make him into a mini-Hook. Also, if you think Jack looks familiar, he would later go on to star in Can't Hardly Wait (part of my ten teen movies that came out when I was a teen - look at that, full circle!)  as the nerdy teen who wants to take revenge on a bullying jock at a party, but instead ends up getting drunk and singing a Guns 'n Roses song.

By this time, you're getting a little tired and thinking, Okay, it's time to wrap up. Peter has gotten back his children and now all he has to do is defeat Hook....but we get two psyche outs where we think he's going to, but doesn't, because he doesn't want to kill someone in front of his children, I guess? IDK. But on the third attempt (ugh!), it's SuperWoman aka Tinkerbell who kills the pirate by dropping a huge statue of a crocodile on him. Peter is able to fly him and his children home. Thank God...I was sick of being in Neverland! They are reunited with Grandma Wendy and the wife/mother and everyone is happy. I think Peter even quits his job, but I can't remember for sure, but it seems like something he would do.

Oh, here's a fun film fact: this film was Gwyneth Paltrow's debut. She has a ten second role as young Wendy. She still looks exactly the same. However, I doubt she will grow up to be as cool as Maggie Smith (she didn't!). Have you ever visited Gwynnie's site, Goop.com? I was snooping over there for poops and laughs and it just made me roll my eyes! Apparently she thinks women (I say women because pretty much everything on there is geared towards females) who follow her are all rich....and maybe they are. You can buy stuff on her site, but it's so expensive! She sells these "dusts" that range from $55-$65. There's "moon dust", "brain dust", "spirit dust", "sex dust".... what is this stuff? I mean, nobody actually buys this crap and believes it works, right? RIGHT?!??! There's a recipe for a "morning smoothie" and it begins with reasonable ingredients like almond butter and and almond milk, but then it says you need one of those "dusts"...who the eff is going to pay for a $60 smoothie??? Not to mention some of the other ingredients include things called "ashwagandha" (which is $17) and "cordyceps" (which is $35). Not to mention all the other ingredients. I bet this smoothie comes out to almost $1000! So ridiculous. Go away, Gwynnie the Pooh! Nobody needs you or your stupid, expensive smoothies and "dusts!"

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. Hook has its fun moments, but is way too bloated (like that fat kid!) I really can't compare it to other Peter Pan movies because I haven't seen any of them. I suppose it's better than the one that came out recently because I heard that one is just plain awful. However, I'm not sure how it compares to the one with Jason Isaacs.

Il piccolo monstro marino

Luca

Director: Enrico Casarosa

Voice Talent: Jacob Trembly, Jack Dylan Grazer, Maya Rudolph, Jim Gaffigan, Sacha Baron Cohen

Released: June 18, 2021

Oscar nominations:

Best Animated Film (lost to Encanto)

Buongiorno! Mi chiamo Sara! I took a year of Italian in college and that's pretty much all I retained besides a few random words. Although, I can do a pretty good Italian accent where-a I talk-a like-a I'm-a Roberto Benigni! I want-a the spaghetti and-a meat-a-balls with parmigiano! Okay, I'll stop! 

When I first started watching Luca, the first thing I thought of was that Luca was the boy version of Ariel. You see, while Luca is not a merman (merboy?), he is a sea monster (but a sea monster with human features such as he has a human face) who can speak English (and a little bit of Italian as he lives off the coast of Italy) who is very interested in the human world and likes to collect things that come from the shores above. While not an avid collector as Ariel was, he still finds some human things he has to keep hidden as his parents, Daniela and Lorenzo (Maya Rudolph and Jim Gaffigan), do not approve. They call humans "land monsters" (I guess that's fair since the humans refer to them as "sea monsters") and tell their son that they are dangerous. They emphasize he must never go to the surface or the shore. 

Luca is a twelve-year-old sea monster and very early in the movie he meets a fourteen-year-old sea monster named Alberto. Now, I had no idea how old they were supposed to be, but that's what Wikipedia told me and that sounds about right. These species of sea monsters seem very advanced. If they step out of the water and onto land, they turn into humans. I mean, Ariel had to give up her voice to get her legs on dry land! 

But before Luca meets his new adventurous friend, he asks his grandmother where boats come from (heh) and his parents are dismayed. His grandma tells him they comes from "the land monster town just above the surface". Luca is amazed that she's actually been up there (and apparently beat a guy at cards once). 

He finds a whole treasure trove full of human things such as a wrench, a glass, a gramophone, an alarm clock, and playing cards. ("I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty; I've got whozits and whatzits galore. You want thingamabobs? I've got twenty!") When he sees someone in a dive suit holding a spear slowing lurching towards him, he gets scared and swims into a cave where he becomes trapped. (Smart move there, Luca). Luckily, it's just Alberto, and this is when Luca meets him for the first time. Luca is amazed that Alberto often goes to the surface and "does the change". He follows Alberto to the surface, but stays under the water as he watches his new friend transform from a sea monster to a human (and the way it happens, it's just so effortless). It's Alberto who grabs Luca with a staff and lifts him out of the water. Luca, only being told bad things about the world above the surface, starts freaking out when he's turned into a human. Alberto tells him to relax and just breathe. Luca does just that and takes in the beauty of the nature around him: the grass, the trees, the sand, the crashing waves, the clouds, and the bird all around him. Then he tells Alberto he's not supposed to be here and quickly jumps back into the water and swims back home. 

The next day, he follows his new friend to the surface. He's a little reluctant at first, but then he gets the courage to skim the surface. After he changes into a human, he says it feels like his tail is still there and Alberto replies that it's "phantom tail" and that he'll get used to it. When Luca tries to walk, he immediately flops down and Alberto gives him the oh-so-great advice, "Walking is just like swimming. But without fins. Or a tail. And there's no water. Otherwise it's the exact same thing." Heh. Uh, walking is NOT just like swimming! After a few struggles, Alberto tells him to point his feet towards where he wants to go, then catch himself before he can fall and this seems to work. You know, I take walking for granted, that I'm not really sure how I would tell someone who was walking for the first time how to do it. 

Alberto shows Luca a stone (non working) lighthouse nearby where he lives with his dad, but his dad isn't around often (in fact, we never meet him, but we'll find out why later) so he does what he wants. He tells Luca, "Everything good is above the surface." (I mean, he's not wrong.) This includes air, gravity, the sky, clouds and the sun. He demonstrates gravity by falling from the top of the lighthouse which is pretty far up and if he was anything other than an animated character, he would break his neck and die. Alberto loves "human stuff" and has a huge collection in his lighthouse. Luca is taken with a poster of a man riding a red Vespa, which Alberto tells him is the greatest thing in the world: "You just sit on it and it takes you anywhere you want to go in the world." The poster reads "Vespa è libertà which means "Vespa is freedom".

We get the first of many dream/fantasy sequences there are in the film where Luca imagines himself riding a Vespa over the ocean. 

Getting inspired, he looks around and asks Alberto if he's going to make one and makes note that it looks like he has all the parts. Yep, everything but the motor! Luca helps him even though he keeps telling Alberto he needs to go. Several hours tick by and it is very late when he returns home. Daniela is waiting for him and demands to know where he's been. Luca internally thinks, "Don't say surface, don't say surface" and outloud he says, "Surface." It reminded me of the scene in Turning Red when Mei tells herself not to draw attention to her notebook. 

I admit the movie got me because it turns out this never happened. It was all in Luca's head as he was imagining what would be the worst outcome. When his mother is demanding to know where he's been (in reality), his grandmother saves him by telling his parents it was her fault because she sent him looking for sea cucumbers and Luca plays along with the story. Nonna knows what's up! 

The next day, he returns to dry land. Alberto is ready to try out his (very) primitive Vespa. This thing looks like something Fred Flintstone would "drive" and it looks like it's about to fall apart at any second. Alberto asks Luca if he wants to ride it and Luca, very politely, replies, "Thank you, but no thank you. I just think maybe I would die." I need to pause here to compliment the young voice cast; they all do a fantastic job. Luca is voiced by Jacob Trembly who I know best as the little boy in Room. Heh, I just read on his Wikipedia page that he's voicing Flounder in the live-action Little Mermaid. How adorable. And appropriate. From one sea-dwelling creature to another! Alberto is voice by Jack Dylan Grazer. I wasn't familiar with his name, but when I was listening to a podcast review of this movie, the hosts mentioned he was the friend in Shazam and I immediately knew who he was. Also, his uncle is Brian Grazer so you know he's met Ron Howard.

So Alberto rides his rickety Vespa down a super steep cliff while Luca holds a ramp that Alberto told him to hold. Again, it is lucky that Alberto is an animated character because he rides that thing down the steep cliff and into the ocean. He would be dead, otherwise. As he's going down, the scooter falls apart until it's just the front wheel and handlebars, pretty much. Yikes. 

We get a montage of them building another Vespa and during this time, Luca's parents find out that he's been going to the shore. During the evening, as they're laying on top of the lighthouse, Luca asks Alberto what's up in the sky and Alberto tells them they're anchovies and "the big fish protects them" as he points to the moon. Luca asks him if he's even been to a human town (and it's interesting that he says "human town" instead of "land monster town"). Alberto says no, but his dad has and he's heard all about it from him, so he claims he's "pretty much an expert." 

After day dreaming of owning a Vespa (again!), Luca falls asleep and is late getting home. His mother is waiting for him (this sounds familiar!), but this time he doesn't have his grandmother to save him. His parents show him the human stuff they found, such as an alarm clock and a playing card. They make him promise not to sneak up to the shore again. Luca apologizes and tells them, "It's not that dangerous up there." 

His dad has brought his odd brother, Luca's Uncle Ugo (Sacha Baron Cohen) to talk to Luca. Ugo has a transparent body so you can see his heart and other organs (eww) and he lives in the depths of the ocean where "it's just you and your thoughts" since there's not much to see. Ugh, that sounds horrible. And boring. I suppose he lives with anglerfish, those terrifying creatures that live in the deepest depths of the sea. Daniela tells her son that he's going to stay with Uncle Ugo "for the rest of the season". She tells him the world is a dangerous place and she'll do anything to protect him, including sending him to the bottom of the ocean. As long as he's under her ocean, he'll have to listen to her! (A little The Little Mermaid humor there...isn't that what King Triton says to Ariel? It's been a minute since I've seen that movie.) 

The next day, Luca is at the lighthouse (I guess his parents don't watch him very closely!) and he tells Alberto how his parents want to send him away. Alberto suggests that Luca stay in the lighthouse but Luca says his parents will look for him. Alberto tells him if he goes to the nearby town, his parents won't look for him there. (Spoiler alert: he thought wrong!) He seems to think there will be a Vespa over there waiting for them. I love this conversation between them; again amazing job by the young actors: 

"We'd swim right over to Vespatown, track down Signor Vespa-"
"Wait. Do you really think there's a Signor Vespa?"
"Makes sense, right?"
"Yes. Continue."

Hee. So Alberto finishes by saying they would have Signor Vespa build them a Vespa. It's a fool-proof plan! They swim to the shore of the town, then hide under a wooden boat they find on the ocean floor so no one sees them in their sea monster form. As they're walking through the town (which is called Portorosso, not Vespatown), Alberto tells him not to get wet and they'll be fine. The first people Luca sees walk by him are two fishermen with a sharp fishing hook and a bucketful of dead fish. Luca notices the town fountain has a statue of a man sending a spear through a sea monster.

Portorosso is a beautiful, quaint seaside village and it appears to be modeled after the Italian towns that make up Cinque Terre (which means five lands). It is a beautiful area, but you know that place is overrun with tourists. However, the only out-of-towners in Portorosso appear to be Luca and Alberto. 

Because of all the anti-sea monster propaganda, Luca wants to leave, but he is quickly distracted when he notices somebody riding a red Vespa. Alberto is convinced it's Signor Vespa. Nearby, i bambini are playing with a kickball and when it rolls over to Luca, he tries to kick it back to them, but it ends up ricocheting on the fountain and hits the Vespa, which starts to falls to the ground, but one of the minions of the arrogant young man who owns it rushes over so the vehicle falls on him instead of  the pavement. 

Ercole is the name of the young man who owns the Vespa. Heh. It almost sounds like Urkel. "Did I do that?" Ha, so I typed that into an Italian translator and it came out as "Ho fatto questo?" However, when I went to see what that translated into English, it was "I did this", so not exactly the same thing. Urkel saying, "I did this" is not as funny as "Did I do that?" 

Ercole sees the two newcomers and introduces himself to them, telling them they are lucky that nothing happened to his Vespa. The boys learn he is a "five-time winner of the Portorosso Cup" and that's how he was able to afford his Vespa. 

We meet Giulia (such a better spelling than "Julia"!) who is around Luca's and Alberto's age and is nemesis's with Ercole. I should point out that Ercole is a bit older than the others; he's probably 17 or 18, so it's extra pathetic that he gets a rise out of tormenting "the Underdogs", which is what Giulia, Luca, and Alberto call themselves. 

 

Giulia asks the boys if they're in town for the race, but they don't answer her since they have no idea what it is. Luca asks her about it and she explains the race as "an epic, grueling, traditional Italian triathlon: swimming, cycling, and eating pasta." When asked what the winner receives, she tells them prize money, but they don't understand the concept of money. When they figure out that money can turn into a Vespa (a run-down Vespa with the amount they would win, but a Vespa, nonetheless), Luca thinks that he, Aberto, and Guilia should all run the race together. Giulia tells them no, that she races alone. This was something that confused me about this race: apparently you could be in teams of three where each person did one of the events, or one person could do all three events by themselves. Um, wouldn't it be much easier to split it up three ways so you don't tire yourself out? :::shrug::: Oh, well, I suppose if you're a lone competitor you win more money. But then she decides to see how they would do at the different obstacles of the race. When asked if they can swim, Alberto tells her they're terrible at it (ironically they can't do the portion of the race they would be best at!). Luca attempts to ride a bike, but he's not very skilled at it. Giulia wants to know where they're from and Alberto just replies that they're runaways. Luca adds that his family was going to send him somewhere horrible, but if he can win this race, he can be free. This is the point when Giulia decides to let them join her in the race. She decides that she'll swim, Luca will bike and Alberto will eat (not necessarily in the order!).

Giulia invites them over for dinner where her one-armed fisherman dad, Massimo, is chopping off fish heads. Gulp! This makes Luca and Alberto extremely nervous. Luca sees spears all around the house and a bulletin board with newspaper clipping of suspected spotted sea monsters. In shock, he spits water all over Alberto's face which makes his head change into his purple sea monster face and he has to quickly cover up his face so nobody sees him. Both Giulia and Massimo are facing away from them, getting everyone's plates ready when this happens. I feel like this whole transformation needs a little tweaking. I think they should only change into sea monsters if they are only completely submerged in water; not just certain parts of their body when those parts get water on them. But I get it; it's all for the drama of the storyline. BTW, the pesto pasta Massimo makes for dinner looks super delicious and now I'm super hungry! I need to order a spaghetti meal next time I put in my Hello Fresh order. (Check! I will be getting the Tuscan pork sausage and pepper spaghetti in my box next week. Delizioso!)

Giulia asks her dad for money for the entrance fee to enter the race, but he tells her money is tight and he needs more fish to sell. Luca and Alberto offer to help him catch fish. I guess they don't really care about fish. Maybe fish to sea monsters are like chicken to humans. I don't know, maybe that's not a good analogy. Do sea monsters even eat fish? It seems like they eat things like kelp and sea cucumbers, so maybe sea monsters are vegetarians? But are they all vegetarians? Oh, hell, I don't know. But what I do know is that the two boys help Massimo catch a boatload (literally) of fish. They know where all the fish are at certain times of the day. They now have enough money to enter the race and have one week to train which barely seems like enough time.

Meanwhile, Daniela and Lorenza have come to town to look for him. There's so many kids in the plaza that Daniela gets the idea to play kickball with them and use the kickball to knock them into the fountain to see if they change. A harsh, but effective plan. 

We get a montage of each kid training for their segment of the race. Luca will have to bike down Mount Portorosso and it looks super steep with lots of winding paths. I remember I once biked down a mountain in Colorado and that was not fun. And this looks way more steep (with lots more obstacles!) I love when Luca and Alberto are in a boat as they're watching Giulia swim and Luca says, "I guess that's how humans swim?" and Alberto replies with, "That's embarrassing." Haha, that was hilarious. 

As Giulia is swimming, Ercole and his cronies (Ciccio and Guido) are in a speed boat and they get near Luca and Alberto, splashing their boat and water gets on Alberto, turning him into a sea monster. He ducks down for cover and Luca goes to get him a towel but ends up accidentally pushing him off the boat. Ercole gets suspicions when he only sees one of them and sees the tail of Alberto, but then he gets distracted when Giulia starts shaking his boat and Luca is able to pull Alberto back in the boat and dry him off.  

Later that evening, while looking at the stars from the tree house where Giulia is letting the two boys stay, she sets Luca straight and tells him those aren't pescare in the sky and explains about le stelle. She shows him a telescope and he takes a look at l'universo. He gets super enthused when she shows him more books and maps and he's amazed that there are other towns and cities in Italy that are even bigger than Portorosso and is awed by the solar system. Heh, if I were Giulia, I would be thinking, what rock did this kid crawl out under from? She tells him how she's going to use her school's telescope when she's in advanced astronomy. She goes to school in Genoa and when Luca suggests to Alberto that they go visit her, they get into a fight and Alberto tells him they can't go to school because sea monsters aren't allowed. 

This fight escalates the next day when the three kids are near the sea. Luca suggests to Giulia that they go to school with her and she thinks that's a great idea. Alberto asks if her school takes non-human species, "like, perhaps, sea monsters?" (Way to get to the point!) Of course, Giulia is confused so Alberto tells her he'll show her and jumps into the water to reveal his true identity. She is freaked out by what she sees, but even worse, Luca pretends to be scared and surprised to see a sea monster too. Ercole, who was nearby, sees this (he doesn't know that Alberto is the sea monster) and starts throwing spears at him. Alberto swim away, unharmed, but it is clear he is hurt by Luca. 

Back at Giulia's house, Luca tells Massimo that Alberto left and doesn't want anyone looking for him, but Massimo decides to look anyway. Luca starts worrying about the race since it will now just be him and Giulia and asks Giulia if it's allowed if she swims and eats and he rides the bike. Apparently, this race will let three people enter together or just one person - none of this pair nonsense! Giulia is trying to tell him something but Luca won't stop babbling, so she grabs a glass of water and throws it at him. He puts up his hands and they turn into green fins, exposing that he's a sea monster. Giulia seems to understand what's going on and tells him Portorosso is no place for sea monsters. (Yeah, no kidding!) She advices him to leave before her father, hunter of sea monster, finds out. They are both sad, but Giulia tells him it's not worth risking his life over a Vespa. Especially a run down Vespa. (Giulia didn't say that last part, that was my own thought.) 

Luca swims to the island with the stone lighthouse where he finds Alberto at the top. He apologies, but Alberto is having none of it. On the wall, Lua notices a bunch of marks scratched into the wall, counting off days that Alberto has been living on his own. It turns out his dad told him he was old enough to be on his own and just left him there to fend for himself. He says his dad is better off without him and so is Luca, to which Luca replies he's going to win the race and get that Vespa. 

It's now the day of the race and Luca and Giulia are entering separately. They will have to swim first, then eat (good thinking about not having the eating portion before the swimming segment!), then ride their bikes up, then down the steep terrain. For the swimming relay, Luca is wearing an old scuba diving suit so nobody will see him turn into a sea monster. The suit is so heavy that he has to walk (slowly!) on the ocean floor and can't even swim. Meanwhile, on Ercole's team, he has oiled up one of his cronies so he's nice and slick (Ercole is doing the riding portion) and when they get to the eating portion, he stuffs his other teammate's face with pasta (even though that's against the rules!) Giulia is the first to finish the swimming and eating legs, but the others, including Luca, are not far behind her. 

Luca has already thought he's seen his parents in town and when he starts riding his bike up the steep hill, he sees them. They know it's him and try to block him, but he just swerves around them and continues. He apologizes and tells them he has to do this. Thunder clouds are starting to appear and by the time he's made it to the top, there's a downpour. (You think they would pause and/or cancel the race because it can't be safe riding a bike down a steep hill during a rainstorm!) Luca has managed to hide under a shelter and sees Alberto running up the hill with an umbrella. This is around the time Ercole starts his ride down the hill and shoves Alberto out of the way so he trips and drops the umbrella, transforming into a sea monster in front of everyone. This causes Ercole to brake on his bike in shock. He charges at Alberto, telling his friends to fetch his harpoon. Luca wants to help, but Alberto has told him to stay where is. However, Luca doesn't listen to him when Ercole and his minions throw a net over Alberto. He rides his bike toward Alberto, and reaches a hand to to him (or a fin in this case since he's now changed into a sea monster) and they both cruise down the hill together. Ercole quickly follows them on his bike with his spear. At one point, he's standing on top of his bike (and they're still going down hill), ready to throw the spear at the sea monsters; but Giulia, who has also been following them, also sees this and runs into him which knocks him off his bike and she also falls off as well. This happens near the bottom, near the fountain, where the finish line is. Luca's and Alberto's plan had been to jump in the water and swim away, but when they see Guilia might be hurt, they both run over to her to make sure she's okay. By this point, a bunch of the townspeople have crowded around, blocking any path for them to escape. Many of them are holding harpoons or nets. Massimo is in the crowd and grabs a harpoon before he starts to walk towards them. Ercole has now joined the crowd, wanting to be the one to kill the two sea monster boys. Giulia (who's okay, by the way) tells him and the other that Luca and Alberto are not monsters and Ercole asks what they are. It is Massimo who tells everyone, "I know who they are. They are Luca and Alberto, and they are the winners" as he drops his spear. Now I thought he was going to say something like, "and they are good friends of my daughter" or something more along those lines, then add that they won the race.

So everyone (except Ercole) is happy. Even Ercole's two cronies give him the old heave-ho. Now all sea-dwelling creatures are accepted and we get a fun reveal of two old ladies who we saw earlier in the movie eating coni gelato are actually seas monsters. (I bet they know Luca's grandma!) All posters promising rewards for capturing sea monsters are torn up. 

When everyone is at the train station to say goodbye to Guilia who is heading to Genoa to go to school, Alberto sees that Luca is sad that he's not attending school with her. After she boards the train, he tells Luca that he sold their Vespa and hand hims a ticket. Luca's parents inform him they've arranged for him to go to school and he'll be staying with Giulia and her mom. Now, when Guilia talked about going to school in Genoa, I just assumed she went to boarding school. It didn't cross my mind that her parents were divorced and she stayed with her dad in the summer. His mom makes him promise to be safe and write every day. We find out it was Alberto that talked everyone into this arrangement. I wonder if Giulia knew about it or if she was surprised when Luca got on the train. Luca asks Alberto if he's going with them, but he's going to stay in Portorosso and help Massimo with his fishing. 

This movie didn't make me turn on the waterworks like most of Pixar's other work (come to think of it, nether did Turning Red), but it did make me shed a few light tears (so did Turning Red). It is one of their most aesthetically pleasing movies. I would totally visit Portorosso if it were a real place (but mostly because there seems to be no tourists!). And now I need to find some pasta to eat. Arrivederci!

Graduation Day

Can't Hardly Wait
Directors: Harry Elfont and Deborah Kaplan
Cast: Ethan Embry, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Seth Green, Lauren Ambrose, Charlie Korsmo, Peter Facinelli
Released: June 12, 1998

Despite the grammatically incorrect title (and I am a stickler for grammar, people!), I really kinda love this movie which takes place in one day. The beginning starts in the afternoon at a graduation ceremony for high school seniors, the majority of the movie takes place at a huge party, and it ends the next morning.

"Special K"

There are tons of kids at the party (most of them probably extras, but there were a few familiar faces), but the movie follows six characters. The main character is Preston (Embry) who finds out the girl he has "loved" (I don't know how he can be in love with her when he's never even talked to her, but whatever) since freshman year has broken up with her boyfriend that afternoon. He has written Amanda (Hewitt) a letter and vows to tell her how he really feels. Preston attends the party with his friend Denise (Ambrose) who's really cynical and acts like she's more superior than everybody else and can't wait to get out of town and say good riddance to her high school life. At the party she ends up getting locked in a bathroom with her childhood friend Kenny (a hilarious performance from Green) who wears baggy clothes and acts all ghetto. He goes by the name Special K (and he's "special", alright!) and is not happy by this turn of events because he had planned to score with some "fine honey" at the party. They are in the upstairs bathroom, so nobody can hear them downstairs.

Meanwhile, William (Korsmo - he looked familiar, so I looked him up: turns out he played Robin William's son in Hook) the nerd who plans to get revenge on douche bag jock Mike Dexter (Facinelli) aka Amanda's ex who has made high school a living hell for him and his other nerd friends. He has this whole elaborate plan to humiliate Mike and while his two Star Wars-obsessed friends wait outside for him, William ends up getting drunk and becomes the life of the party.

In cameo roles we have Melissa Joan Hart as an excitable girl with school spirit who wants everyone to sign her yearbook, Jaime Pressly and Sean Patrick Thomas as part of the cool clique, Donald Faison and Breckin Meyer as part of the band, Selma Blair, Clea DuVall, a pre-How I Met Your Mother Jason Segal, a pre-24 Eric Balfour, a pre-BtVS Amber Benson, the Asian girl from Bring It On, and the Sherminator who plays a kid who steals everything. Rounding out the cameos is Jerry O'Connell as a college student who tells Mike breaking up with his high school girlfriend was the worst thing he's ever done and Jenna Elfman as an angel stripper who gives Preston advice on what he should do about Amanda. My favorite minor character was the girl who had the party at her house. She was hilarious with all her reactions and freak outs to how her house was being destroyed - everything from people defacing a family portrait to the curtains being set on fire.

Checklist time!

Is there a party scene? Duh

Is there a prom scene? Negative

Is there a football scene? Negative 

Is there a makeover scene? Negative

Is there a scene where all the different high school cliques are being shown? Yes, they're all represented at the party.

Was this movie spoofed in Not Another Teen Movie? Yep. Lacey Chabert plays the Amanda character (interesting both she and JLH were on Party of Five!) and they spoofed the slow motion and wind blowing in her hair.

Do I own the soundtrack/favorite song - I don't own the soundtrack, but I have my two favorite songs from the movie on my iPod. The first is the title song by the Replacements that plays at the end credits and the second is "Paradise City" by Guns 'n Roses that Williams sings after he's been drinking a little too much.

Darkest scene - This is a pretty light movie so there are no dark scenes per se, but I was a little bit disturbed by how Preston was so infatuated with Amanda - well he was probably only infatuated with her for the same two reasons JLH is famous, haha - but this is a girl who dated the douchey bullying jock for the majority of her high school life. They try to paint her as somebody who isn't superficial, but let's face it: the girl is superficial. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad the movie didn't go the obvious route and have Preston realize he has feelings for his female friend who has been right in front of him this entire time because that has been so overplayed, but I never understood why he was so into Amanda. Other than she's hot and they both like Pop Tarts. Maybe I'm just overanalyzing this too much. After all, it's just a teen movie. 

Favorite line -  "THESE ARE MEMORIES FROZEN IN TIME, PEOPLE!" - yearbook girl. Also everything Kenny said was hilarious.

Favorite character - While Kenny was one of the funniest characters, I have to go with nerd William. He really stole the whole movie with his song and dance number.

Favorite scene - It's a tie between William singing to Guns 'n Roses and the bathroom montage with Kenny.

Hey, it's the '90s! - There's one scene where Preston is using a pay phone - a PAY PHONE! Come to think of it, it was really weird to see a whole houseful of teenagers and not a one of them was talking/texting on a cell phone. Also, Kenny is donning Tommy Hilfigure attire.

Now to add another reason as to why the class of '99 is the best graduating class in all of high school history:

1. Many teen/high school movies came out in 1999.

2. The song  that told people to "party like it's 1999."

3.  Buffy Summers is an alum from the class of '99.

4. Bella Swan is not a graduate from the class of '99. (Sorry class of two thousand whatever!)

Remember when terrorism was funny?

True Lies
Director: James Cameron
Cast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis, Tom Arnold, Bill Paxton, Tia Carrere, Eliza Dushku
Released: July 15, 1994

Oscar nominations:
Best Visual Effects (lost to Forrest Gump)

True Lies is the James Cameron movie sandwiched between arguably two of his most well-known movies, Terminator 2 (1991) and Titanic (1997). True Lies leans more towards T2 than Titanic, though. They both star Arnold and are action flicks, though True Lies is an action-comedy while T2 is a little more serious.

While a fun action movie, True Lies is a bit of a hot mess. It doesn't have a coherent storyline. It's like there's three different stories in one movie. A lot of stuff that happens in this movie is really dumb. This movie was made for and intended for the male population, but you can still get a kick out of it if you are not of that camp. You just may roll your eyes more often!

Harry Tasker (Schwarzenegger) works as an undercover agent for the government in the anti-terrorism department called the Omega Sector. Because this is so top secret, his wife, Helen (Jamie Lee Curtis) and 13 year old daughter, Dana (Eliza "You gotta have Faith" Dushku) don't know about his real job and thinks he is a computer salesman who goes on a lot of business trips.

"Dad, this snow globe is totally not five by five!" 

There's a running joke throughout the first part of the movie that Helen thinks her husband's job is boring and she tells one of her co-workers whenever she needs to fall asleep, she'll ask her husband about his day and that will do the trick. Dana, the rebellious daughter, thinks her dad is really lame. Oh, if only they knew of what he really did and the exciting life he led when he was away.

Before and after:
Tom Arnold Schwarzenegger

Harry's partner is Albert (Tom Arnold) who accompanies him on all his missions. He's the brains behind the operations working with the computers and sound equipment. Harry is the guy who beats everyone up. Makes sense to me! In the first part of the movie they are after a terrorist. There's a big shootout in a public restroom, then Harry is on a horse chasing the guy on a motorcycle. They go through the hotel and into the kitchen, then the guy gets on one glass elevator (still on the motorcycle) and Harry gets on another glass elevator (still on the horse). You think this whole scenario is ridiculous? Just wait, it gets even more ridiculous! The terrorist, now on the roof, sees another hotel across the street and drives the motorcycle across the room, flies across the sky and lands in the pool. Uh-huh. Then Harry tries to do the same with the horse, but being a smart animal, the horse stops short of jumping off the roof and flings Harry off the side of the building, still holding onto the reins.

The terrorist guy is pretty much all forgotten about as we go into the second part of the movie. While going to his wife's work to see if she wants to have lunch with him, Harry stops short when her co-worker tells Helen she has a call from her "mystery guy". Harry eavesdrops and can only conclude that she's cheating on him. He tells this to Albert who in turn tells him, "Welcome to the club." He and Albert put a bug in Helen's purse, then spy on her the next day when she's suppose to meet her mystery man. He is Simon (Bill Paxton), a used cars salesman who is pretending to be a spy so he can hook up with lonely housewives. He invites Helen over to his trailer and tells her he has to fly to Paris on a mission and wants her to pretend to be his wife. By this time, Harry and a whole task force are surrounding the place and blow the roof off the trailer. It's a little ridiculous he has all this hoopla to rescue his wife from a smarmy cars salesman. After Harry and Albert give Simon a good scare, we never see him again. I know Bill Paxton is a Jimmy C favorite, but I don't think he was really necessary in this movie. Yes, we do get some funny moments (like when Harry imagines punching him in the face) and it does help set up the next (kinda pointless but still needed) scene, but it just seemed to be totally thrown in randomly.

Then we get to part two of the second section which is still focused on Helen. She is brought to an interrogation room where her husband and Albert are on the other side of the mirror and their voices are disguised. They ask her questions about her relationship with Simon and whether or not she slept with him and what her relationship with her husband is like. She understandably becomes angry and asks what that has to do with anything. They tell her to avoid going to jail, she must work for them and complete an assignment when she's called. Of course, this is all a ploy, but it spirals out of control as we'll get to in a minute.

Post-makeover

Pre-makeover

We next get the sexy dancing scene which is in the movie to have an attractive woman dancing in lingerie. I don't know. It's a guy movie so you gotta have something like that in there. Helen gets her "assignment" where she's suppose to go to a hotel and pretend to be a hooker for a guy who just "likes to watch". After she bugs the phone in his room, they will be set. Now they have made up Jamie Lee Curtis as very conservative, wearing frumpy clothes, pearls, and glasses and has a "Mom" haircut. Her idea of a dress a prostitute would wear is that awful black taffeta number you would find a bridesmaid wearing, but she gets some sense and cuts off the sleeves and ruffles until it's a little black dress, shows some cleavage, wets her hair, puts on some lipstick and she is instantly changed. Who knew Harry was married to such a hot woman? He sure didn't when she stars sexy dancing for him. Yes, Harry is the guy she's dancing for (he's sitting in the shadows), so it's not so creepy that at least it's her husband watching her, although she doesn't know that, so it's still it a tad weird. She's wearing black lingerie when she's dancing and I'm sorry, but no woman who dresses like June Cleaver would own underwear like that! She lays on the bed and Harry tells her to close her eyes. She does and he kisses her and she, thinking it's some perverted guy, grabs the telephone and smacks him in the head with it. You would think she would be able to tell her husband's kiss (but I guess it's been awhile since they've been intimate!) This is the moment when she finds out her husband is a spy and as it so happens, at that exact moment the terrorist guy, along with Juno Skinner (Tia Carrere), the villain of the movie, capture them.

In the next part of the movie (which is part 3 of section 2 - the longest section of the movie) we get these gems:
-Harry, who is tied up and been given truth serum tells a guard that he is going to kill him by stabbing him in the throat, then taking his gun and shoot the other guards, and I don't know, it's this elaborate plan he has, but he's telling the truth because he does exactly what he says he's going to do.
- Helen sees a bad guy about to aim a gun at Harry who is preoccupied with other bad guys, so she takes a gun and starts shooting it, but she ends up dropping it and it falls down the stairs and every time it hits the ground and it pointed at the bad guy, it shoots and hits them, but she is miraculously never hit!
-Juno escapes and kidnaps Helen and they are driving across a long bridge over the water. Harry gets  the National Guard - or something like that - and they blow up a section of the bridge to stop the bad guys. Really? We're going to blow up the bridge? The guy driving the car Helen and Juno are in is shot, but his feet are still on the gas, so the two women have a catfight in the car and Harry, who is on a helicopter, has to rescue Helen before the car dives off of the bridge. Luckily, he does.
-There's a funny scene where the terrorist is making a video and the guy recording him sees that the battery is low, but the terrorist doesn't want to be interrupted and has to do his speech again when he is told the battery died.

So now we get to the third - and final - segment of the movie. I don't know about you, but I'm already exhausted and feel like this movie has a satisfying ending with Harry saving his wife's life, but nope! Now he's gotta save his daughter's life! Remember Dana, who we saw a few times in the first part of the movie, but had no screen time in the entire middle section? Well, the terrorists have found her and have kidnapped her. So Harry takes a jet (which of course he knows how to fly) and flies to the hotel she's at. Dana has escaped with the key that is meant to detonate the bomb (did I mention there's a bomb in all this?) and goes to the roof (why do people go to the roof when they're trying to ESCAPE?) and crosses some scaffolding. She's just like that little girl from Adventures in Baby-Sitting who escapes the bad guy by going out the top floor of a Chicago skyscraper. Smart, girls, smart. Meanwhile, Harry is in his jet and destroying everything in his wake....he is going to have one large bill to pay! He sees Dana on the scaffolding and tells her to "jump on the plane". Right. She does and the bad guy also does the same and and he and Harry get into a fight. The bad guy somehow gets strapped onto a missile and Harry says, "You're fired" before releasing the missile where it then flies right into the path of a helicopter that more bad guys are flying and they all burn in a fiery ball. It is so absurd. Harry manages to get himself and Dana down safety and the Tasker family lives happily ever after and Helen even becomes a spy.

There was suppose to be a sequel in 2002, but then 9/11 happened and Cameron scraped the project saying that terrorism just wasn't funny anymore and it's like, Huh? When was terrorism ever funny? But I do kind of get what he's saying. Obviously that was a sensitive time in our history and making an action-comedy about terrorism wouldn't be the best idea. But sometimes the best medicine is laughter in times like those, so who knows, maybe the public would have welcomed it. Or...maybe not.

Taylor-Made

I'm sharing my ranking of Taylor Swift's albums on this totally random day!  

Taylor Swift is one of my favorite artists, so I thought it would be fun to rank her seven albums from my least favorite to absolute favorite. I do not take in account who or what the song is about; I judge the song on its own merit and if I just like it. I do not own any of her albums with the bonus songs so none of those will be mentioned when taking my ranking into account. 

7. Speak Now, 2010 

I looked at a lot of other rankings of her albums and a lot of people had this ranked #1, if not at least #2 or #3. Hardly anybody had this ranked at the bottom of the list, but here I am placing it dead last.  This album does not speak to me, or, should I say, does not speak now to me, ba-ba-dum. I admit this is the TS album I've listened to the least; I have tried giving it several chances, to see if my opinion of it has changed (because this has happened with a couple of her other albums), but no, still feel (mostly) nothing for this one. I can listen to this album and one hour later, if you ask me to sing one of her songs (with a couple of exceptions), I could not tell you how they go. I just feel a lot of these songs are forgetful; they don't have that hook that she's so great at creating and get into your head. Even a song like "Look What You Made Me Do" (which is not one of my faves) can get into your head, but the songs on Speak Now? I'm just like, wait? How does that one go? The fast songs aren't that fun and the slow songs are too slow and long. This album has the most songs I dislike/don’t care for, thus why it’s ranked last. Many of her songs are way too long; clocking in at over five minutes. 

“Dear John” is nearly seven minutes long and people seem to love it, but I just find it endless and boring (Which is exactly how I feel about "Last Kiss", the other song on this album that clocks in at over six minutes...WHY?) Also, why is she wasting her time writing/singing a song about John Mayer who everyone knows is a douche. (He has a song called "Your Body is a Wonderland" for God's sake). I know what you're thinking: that I should like the song because I don't like John Mayer and this song is not a positive one, but honestly, this one is a skip for me. 

"Innocent" is about the Kanye West/MTV music video awards fiasco and you think it would be interesting, but yawn, the song is SO BORING. This might be my least favorite song of hers, truth be told. At least the music is interesting in "Dear John". She has a lot of boring songs on this album. 

"Better Than Revenge" is so obnoxious. I find it a bit hypocritical that in "Mean" (a song I do like) she's crying about a music critic being mean to her, but yet she's being quite mean and catty to the girl (actress Camilla Belle) who apparently "stole" whichever Jonas brother she used to date (I think she dated the one who's married to Sansa Stark now?) With lines like, "She's not a saint and she's not what you think, she's an actress. She's better known for the things she does on the mattress", this is not one of Taylor's finest hours. It's also super obnoxious the way she starts the song with, "Now go stand in the corner and think about what you did." In the words of herself, "Why you gotta be so mean?” 

“Back to December”, “Sparks Fly”, “Speak Now”, “The Story of Us”, and “Haunted” are ones I just don't care for and usually skip. I don't dislike them as much as the others I just mentioned, but I'm not invested in any of them and when/if they come on if I'm listening to her music, I'm not singing along with them (probably cuz I don't know the words!) like I would with one of her songs that I do like. “Never Grow Up” has a sweet melodic harmony. It’s not my favorite, but I like it better than the songs I already mentioned. 

Believe it or not, there are actually songs I do like on this album! I really like the popular singles, "Mine" and "Mean". It's no wonder they became hit singles with their catchy hooks. "Do you remember, we were sitting there by the water? You put your arm around me for the first time. You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter. You are the best thing that's ever been mine" is one of the best stanzas she's written. 

I used to be on the fence about "Enchanted" and "Long Live". While I like them better than the string of songs I dislike, I never put them up there as my favorites. While working on this ranking, I've listened to them a lot more and I really like them. Especially "Long Live." It's like I was sleeping on that song and suddenly woke up and realized what an amazing song it is. It’s pretty epic and I understand why her fans love it so much. "Enchanted" has a dreamy quality to it and sounds like it could be theme song for a Disney Princess.

6. Taylor Swift (aka Debut), 2006

Her debut album is good. It's not great or groundbreaking, but it's good. She can only go up from here. And while her first four albums have some sort of country influence, this is definitely the most country out of all of them. You can hear the banjos, fiddles, and all those other yee-haw! instruments.

I divided all the songs into four tiers. The first tier, the top tier, include my stand out songs which are "Tim McGraw", "Teardrops On My Guitar", "Our Song", and "Mary's Song (Oh My My)". The first three were singles. "Our Song" is infectiously catchy and even though it was played on the radio a thousand times a day, I never seemed to get tired of it. 

"Mary's Song" is a bit of a sleeper as nobody ever seems to mention it. It's such a cute song, about the lifespan of a couple. The first line is, "She said, 'I was seven and you were nine. I looked at you like the stars that shined'." And the last line is, "I'll be 87, you'll be 89. I'll still look at you like the stars that shine." I mean, c'mon! How can you not love this song? And that banjo-fiddle thingy throughout? Don't get me started! This song deserves more love. I have no idea who Mary is, though. 

The second tier includes "Stay Beautiful" and "Should've Said No”, songs that I enjoy, but don’t quite love as much as the other four I mentioned. They're both catchy and can get stuck in your head.

The third tier includes “Picture to Burn” and “Cold As You.” "Picture to Burn" is a bit of a cousin to "Before He Cheats", but not as good. Sure, it has a great beat, but honestly, the line, "So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy, that's fine. I'll tell mine you're gay" makes me cringe. It's like, oh, no, honey, no, no, no. I understand you were only fourteen or fifteen when you wrote this, but that did not age well. I must be as cold as the "you" in "Cold As You" because a lot of people seem to love it (as much as you can love a non-single from her first album), but it just leaves me, ahem, cold. 

The forth tier, the bottom tier, include the songs I aways forget about which are “The Outside”, “Tied Together With a Smile”, and “A Place in This World.” If you asked me to sing a line from any of those songs, I would just stare blankly at you. I at least recognize “Picture to Burn” and “Cold as You” when they come on, thus the only reason they’re not in this bottom tier. 

5. Fearless, 2008

While I have much respect for this album for giving me “Love Story”, “You Belong With Me”, and “Breathe”, which all belong in my list of favorite Taylor Swift songs of all time, I can't rank it any higher. 

Obviously “Love Story” and “You Belong With Me” were huge hits and were not only played on country radio stations, but also on pop stations. You still occasionally hear then on pop stations that play "old" music. Sometimes I forget just how good "Love Story" is. I feel like I listened to a lifetime of it, so I admit I will sometimes skip it, but the storytelling of this song is quite brilliant, not to mention it's super catchy. I also love how it builds with anticipation when you get to the last part where "Romeo" proposes to "Juliet". (Uh, Taylor, did you ever READ the play or at least see the Baz Luhrmann movie?) Well, great song, nonetheless. I remember being at a piano bar with my family circa 2009 and of course somebody suggested "You Belong With Me" because it was the popular song at the moment and it got a lot of cheers. This song still puts a smile on my face when I hear it on the radio. It's just so cute and catchy. Has anyone ever noticed in the video that the boy she likes (who looks like the most vanilla white bread teen boy in all of existence) lives next door to Taylor, but yet there's a line in the song that goes, "I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night." Wait, what? Guess they didn't take that lyric into account when they created the video! "Breathe" is an amazing beautiful song that is extremely underrated and doesn't get any credit or much love from what I've seen. She wrote it with Colbie Caillat who sings backup. That was my favorite Taylor song for quite awhile. It's so good, you guys! I just don't understand why people are so dismissive of it!

"Hey Stephen" is a fun, catchy song that seems criminally underrated. I think it's cute when she says, "All those other girls, well, they're beautiful, but would they write a song for you?" I love those Irish fiddles (or whatever they are - I'm horrible at trying to identify instruments!) on "Tell Me Why".

"Fearless", "Fifteen", and "White Horse" are good, butI can't quite put them up as my favorites even though a lot of people love these songs. When one sees the title of "Fearless", they might think it's an empowering song about an independent young woman, but no, it's just another song about not being afraid of falling in love or going on a date or something like that. :::rolls eyes::: I know a lot of teen girls love "Fifteen" because it "speaks" to them, but while I appreciate the message, it's just not for me. I see your "White Horse" and I raise you a "You're Not Sorry", which is the sad song I prefer more on this album. It has a little more oomph. 

There are a few songs I don't particularly care for. "The Best Day" is usually a skip for me. It's a bit too saccharine for me. It's a song she wrote to thank her parents for moving to Nashville so she could pursue her dream. It's a sweet sentiment, but I'm not her parents so I really don't care. Also, with all the money she has, I hope she's done more for them than just write them a treacly song! 

This one is going to make everybody mad because everybody seems to love this song: "Forever and Always." I'm sorry, I just don't like this song. People say it's really catchy, but I just find it frenetic and disjointed.

I really have no opinion on "The Way I Loved You" or "Change". They're just there. Apparently "Change" was used as an inspiring song for the 2008 Olympics and was used during daily clips. I do not remember this at all...probably because the song really isn't all that memorable. It's okay, but, eh. Honestly, I feel like "Long Live" would have been a better Olympic song than this one. It has more of an epic feeling. 

4. Red, 2012

This is a pretty good album, although it's a bit all over the place. There's country, there's pop, there's rock. There's a few songs I really love and a few I don't particularly care for and all the rest, they're pretty good. I feel like this album being ranked squarely in the middle is the perfect place for it. I like more songs on this one than on Fearless (though to be fair, this one has 3 more songs), but I can't justify ranking it higher than her three recent albums (which, you may have noticed, haven't been ranked yet). 

Let's start with the songs I love:

-"All Too Well" - When I made my top 15 Taylor Swift songs, I ranked this as number one. I thought I was going into the deep cuts for this one (you know, because it was never made into a single), but turns out this is EVERYONE'S favorite TS song! Like, EVERYBODY'S. I guess I can't blame them: it IS a good song. It's almost like listening to a musical audiobook because you're sucked into this story about this doomed romance. She even uses the scarf as a literary device as we hear about it in the first stanza, then the last. Sidenote: I was surprised when I learned that this song was about Jake Gyllenhaal (quick! somebody do a fact check: did he have glasses as a kid and play on the T-ball team? At least we know he has a sister!) I remember when they dated for like a blink of an eye way back when, but I thought they "dated" as in, You're famous, I'm famous, let's hang out together in front of the paparazzi and get more famous. I had no idea she was so into him that she would write such a heartfelt song...they were only together for three months! Also, I always thought it was weird when they dated because he's nine years older than her! Especially when this was around Taylor was barely 21. Jake, don't make me not like you! But yeah, I had no idea she had those feeling for him. 

-"We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" - This is probably my favorite lead single. It is a bop and a half. They never play this on the radio anymore which is a real shame. She is bringing her "Oooh-oooo-oooo-oooooh" a-game on this one. Apparently this song is about Jake too, which is kinda funny because in "All Too Well" she's all forlorn and sad he messed up the special thing they had and in this song she's pretty much, "F**k you!" The little "phone conversation" in the middle is stupid, but you know what? I love it. 

-"22" - "Twenty-twooooooo, oooo-ooooh!" I love this song; its' so fun and infectious. I will say this song has one of the stupidest lines when one of the "cool kids" says, "Who's Taylor Swift, anyway? Ew." Bitch, please. PLEASE. The cool kids may not like your music, but they know who you are! Was this supposed to be ironic? While I appreciate her poking fun at herself, it does not make any sense! 

-"Starlight" - Yes, it's true. I love all the fun boppy songs (aside from "All Too Well") on this album. I love the old school vibe of it. Is it super cheesy when she sings, "Ooh, ooh, we could get married, have ten kids and teach then how to dreeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMM!" I love the passion in her voice. Also, true story, for the longest time I thought she was saying "I'm a Barbie on the Boardwalk" instead of  "I met Bobby on the Boardwalk." 

Her one-two-three punch of "State of Grace", "Red", and "Treacherous" are a very solid start for the album and I think those songs are all very good. For the longest time after I acquired this album, it was bugging me because "State of Grace" reminded me of another song and I finally realized it reminded me of "Space Age Love Song" by A Flock of Seagulls. 

Here are the songs I don't care for:

-"I Almost Do" - There are a few songs that are still a lit bit of country and this one has some country stank on it. This song is pretty unmemorable and boring, so I usually skip it. Also, the lyrics are a little disturbing if you really look at it because its about trying not to contact an ex because she's still obviously into him and this just seems to send the wrong message to her more impressionable listeners who still might be mooning over an ex. I just get an icky feeling when I hear this: "I just wanna tell you it takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you. And I hope you know that every time I don't, I almost do. AUGRH. Taylor, you are a strong, independent woman...grow a backbone and tell this guy to F off! Don't give this guy any satisfaction that you're still thinking about him!  I suppose it's probably cathartic to write a song when you still have feelings for someone. I did some research and found out this song is about Jake Gyllenhaal too, which I had feeling. I guess she wrote this before "WANEGBT". She should have just called this the Jake Album because I'm pretty sure 90% of the songs on here are about him! 

-"The Last Time" - she sings this with Gary Lightbody who I just recently decided to look up to see who he was and he is (or was, I don't even know if this band is still together) the lead singer of Snow Patrol. I guess I always figured he was some country singer even though this particular song doesn't have a country vibe to it. It's just a weird combination, why are these two singing together? "Oh, I really want to hear a collab between Taylor Swift and that guy from Snow Patrol," said nobody, ever. The song isn't really one of my favorites, so I skip.

-"Stay, Stay, Stay" - This song is so lame, lame, lame, I wish it would go away, way, way. There was a time for, like, five minutes, when I liked this song, but it’s not one of the album’s best. First of all, the music at the beginning sounds like a theme song for a children's show (it sounds like a plastic child's piano is being played) and they lyrics are just so juvenile with the annoying repeating words: "And I said, Stay, stay, stay. I've been lovin' you for quite some time, time, time. You think that its' funny when I'm mad, mad, mad." UGH. I'm rolling my eyes as I write this. Also, why does this dude think it's "funny" when she's "mad, mad, mad." Why the f**k would you want to be with someone who think it's funny when you're mad?? That would just irritate the s**t out of me...like this song does! This song seems like it would it have been a better fit for one of her first two albums; there's something very immature about it which doesn't fit with the rest of the album. "I threw my phone across the room at you" seems more like a teen girl thing to do. 

Here are songs I also don't particular care for, but I won't skip them as often as the others I just mentioned. It just depends on my mood. They're okay, but they're not my favorites:

-"Sad Beautiful Tragic" - As you may have guessed, a song with the words "Sad" and "Tragic" in them is a bit of a downer. While I like the sitar or banjo (I seriously cannot identify any instrument!) that is prominent throughout, the song can either be a meditative experience that can put you in a trance  or super boring and slowly paced. 

"Everything Has Changed" - this is her first collaboration with Ed Sheeran. Everyone seems to go gaga over this song, but honestly, this sounds exactly like a song you would expect from those two. Sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes I skip it, sometimes it plays and I didn't even realize it was on. This is also how I feel about "The Lucky One" and "Holy Ground". They're both fine songs and have catchy hooks, but it just depends on my mood how I feel about them. 

"Begin Again" - When hearing the first stanza of this song, one might think this is about Taylor breaking up with a guy who didn't like certain qualities about her and now that she's single she can embrace those qualities because this is who she is and she likes them: "Took a deep breath in the mirror, he didn't like it when I wore high heels, but I do. Turn the lock and put my headphones on. He always said he didn't get this song, but I do." But no, this song isn't about embracing yourself or being single...it's about meeting someone new who accepts you after being in a bad relationship. :::rolls eyes::: This song is nice, but not overbearing or anything. It's something you would put on during brunch (I'm trying to think of the most milquetoast event for the most milquetoast Taylor Swift song). This is the song she ends the album and she usually ends with a strong song. While I don't hate this song, I definitely this it is the weakest of her ending album songs. “Long Live”, ”Clean", "New Year's Day, and "Daylight" are all much better.  I wouldn’t say "Our Song" is much better, but I do prefer it more. The only last song of an album it might be better than is "Change".

"I Knew You Were Trouble" - I think this is Taylor's most manufactured song and what I mean by that is that I can hear just about any current pop singer performing this song. I can hear Pink singing it. I can hear Kelly Clarkson singing it. I can hear Rihanna singing it. I can hear Miley Cyrus singing it. I can hear Katy Perry singing it. You get the idea. This song is somewhat catchy, so I understand why people like it, but I seriously hate it when she does those weird "Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh!" whatever the f**k she's doing. It's just very distracting and not very pleasant to my ears. The dubstep is super prominent in this. There's just a lot going on.  This song is sometimes a skip for me, not gonna lie. However, I did find it super cute when she was performing this at the AMAs and her parents were singing along in the audience. 

3. reputation, 2017

This album being ranked at #3  is pretty good considering I did not like it the first few times I listened to it. In fact, had I ranked her albums right after this one came out, it probably would have been ranked lower than Red and Fearless. I think there are a few factors that made me not like it - for one thing, it followed what I believed was one of the best TS albums (slight spoiler there, but there's only two spots left and I haven't mentioned 1989 yet!), so I knew there was no way this album was going to live up to that one. Also, the first single is what I believed to be her worst single - EVER, "Look What You Made Me Do." Oh, dear God. I totally loathed that song. There was  just something really irritating about it, but yet it had a tendency of getting stuck in your head. "Ooh, look what you made me do, look what you made me do, look what you just made me do, ooh, look what you just made me do, look what you made me do." AUGH! STOP! There is nothing melodic or audibly pleasing about this song. The first time I listened to this album all the way through I skipped it because I had already heard it a million times on the radio, so I already knew I didn't like it! You may have noticed that I wrote I loathed it in the past tense. I don't hate this song anymore. Oh, sure, I still think it's terrible, but I can listen to it and enjoy it because I find it so damn funny. It just makes me laugh when I hear it. I'm also able to listen to it because it's never played on the radio anymore. At least not on any of the Top 40 stations I listen to. Has anyone else noticed that? They'll still play "Delicate" and other songs from her older albums, but it seems that the radio stations only played this song when it first came out, then stopped when they didn't have to play it anymore because nobody likes this song! While I understand why it was her first single, there were better songs to release as a first single. As I read somewhere, this song was more of a publicity stunt than anything else. I think it being released as the first single left me with a sour taste in my mouth because I really did not like it, which is rare because, honestly there's never been a Taylor Swift hit single I didn't like...until the summer of 2017. What a dark time for everyone! When I listened to reputation the first few times all the way through (sans "LWYMMD", of course), I only liked about four of the fifteen songs. The others, I was either meh about or just didn't like. It just seemed like she was trying way too hard to be "cool" as many of the songs you could hear being playing in the clubs. Also, several songs mention drinking alcohol and drinking. It's like, nobody cares that you can drink, Taylor. You've been of the legal drinking age for the past two albums! I didn't listen to this album for several months, then went back to it and listened to it a few more times and found that there were songs I really liked that I was lukewarm about before. There are still songs I don't care for, but this album was a big turnaround for me. It gets the award for most improved.

Here are the songs I originally liked (and still do!):

"Gorgeous" - I love the humorous undertone about Taylor having a crush on her now boyfriend. The line about her stumbling home to her cats kills me. I  watched her Netflix special (you know, nearly a year after it came out) and when she sang this song, multiple pictures of her cats popped up on the screen. That made me laugh. The triangle chime at the end of some of the lines is a nice touch and I like that funky '80s electro-pop whatever you want to call (call it what you want!) it is totally my jam. Oh, and Blake Lively's and Ryan Reynold's baby saying "Gorgeous!" at the beginning is super funny and cute.

"Getaway Car" - this has a very '80s vibe to it and sounds like something that could have been on 1989 (or could have been released in 1989!) SUPER duper catchy! When she sang this for her Netflix special, EVERYONE was getting into it and waving their arms and singing along; it's just that kind of song. When this song comes on my iPod, I have to turn it up and sing along. This MIGHT be my favorite song from this album, but there are still a couple more I really like, so it's a tough call. I loved this song when I first heard it and I think I love it even more now. You could say my love for it accelerated...like a (getaway) car, ha, ha, ha. 

"This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things" - Even though I could care less about her feud with Kim and Kanye and even though I could care less about Kim and Kanye, this song (which is about her feud with Kim and Kanye) is seriously catchy and infectious. Like, seriously, how can you not sing along when this song is on? How can you not? "This is why we can't have nice things, dar-lin'.....This is why we can't have nice things, hon-ey…..cuz you break them, I have to take them aw-ay-ay-ay...........didn't you think I wouldn't hear all the things you said about me-e-ee-e-e-e-e."  I've noticed this song being compared to "It's a Hard Knock Life" from Annie and I totally see (or hear) it. 

"New Year's Day" - a very lovely ballad that ends the album, so at least it ends on good note. It feels very different from the rest of the high energy songs that have pumping bass and slick production as a piano is the only instrument. This song is very simple compared to the others. This is definitely a song that can bring the feels if you're feeling a certain way (i.e. sad).

While not my favorites, I liked "Don't Blame Me", "King of My Heart" and "Dancing With Our Hands Tied" alright enough and I still like them well enough. "Don't Blame Me" has a very "take me to church" vibe (probably because of the background choir). It reminds me of something Christina Aguilera would sing. She really loves using a voice enhancer on this album because her voice has this computerized quality in "King of My Heart". I do love the drums on this song and the bridge is very catchy. 

I did not like "Delicate" and "Call It What You Want" (I know, I know) when I first heard the album, but now I consider them among my favorites. I did not like "Delicate" because of the autotune at the beginning (there's quite a few songs that use autotune on this album, thus another reason I wasn't a big fan of it at first) and I thought the way "Delicate" was said in that weird voice was just laughable, but I do really like the song now. I do think her music video for this song is her best one. I didn't like "Call It What You Want" because of its generic title and I thought it was boring, but one morning, I was listening to it and I was like, 'Damn! This song is really good!' The whole "My baby's fly like a jet stream, high about the whole scene, loves me like I'm brand new" stanza just gets into your head and never leaves. And that's okay with me cuz it's a cool groove. 

Songs I'm slowly coming around to:

"...Ready For It?" - This is the first song on the album and it starts off with these thumping beats like I'm in the club or something, and then she starts rapping and I'm like, Uh, no thanks. Although I do think the "And he can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor" line is very clever. Haha, for the longest time I thought she was saying "Let blood games begin" and I was super confused, thinking maybe "blood games" were similar to The Hunger Games? Which, I know, makes absolutely no sense. She's saying "Let THE games begin which makes more sense...she just punctuates "the" so it sounds like "blood" to my ears. I call this song "Dot, dot, dot, ready for it?" just to be obnoxious.

"I Did Something Bad" - I have a love/hate relationship with this song. I could listen to the chorus again and again on a loop. However...I don't really love anything else. I hate the weird vocal chanting thing. 

Songs I might skip:

“Dress” - I think for a song that could be either super cheesy or super sleazy, she does a good job of not making it either of those things. Even though I think it’s produced and written well, this is a song I usually skip because I feel so weird about listening to such an intimate song. It just feels like I’m intruding on a private moment. I can't imagine her sharing this song with her parents, let alone the world! Also, the “ah, ah, ahs” are a bit much. This song totally sounds like something that would be on a 50 Shades soundtrack. 

“End Game” has some catchy lines (The “big reputation” part, am I right?), but this feels like she’s trying to be too cool with not one, but two special guest rappers, Future (who I’m not familiar with, but I don’t really listen to rap, but he had to lose some street cred for rapping on a Taylor Swift album) and Ed Sheeran. You know, the famous ginger-haired rapper! But no hate here, he’s not too bad with the rapping. The part where Taylor sings "I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me" makes me roll my eyes. 

“…So It Goes” is okay, but it’s the song I alway forget about. Apparently she forgot about it to because she doesn't even sing it during the Netflix special where she sings all the songs on this album (plus a few of her past songs!), but not this one! They just play it over the end credits. I don't hate this song or anything, but it's the one where I'm like, "So how does "So It Goes" go again?" (That was a weird sentence!) There's a line in it that always cracks me up cuz it's really dumb. When she says, "You did a number on me, but honestly, who's counting?; I did a number on you, but honestly, who's counting?" which is all fine and well, but then she literally proceeds to count with "1, 2, 3...."

2. Lover, 2019

Her most recent album is so good with hardly a miss and I was really, really tempted to put it as my #1, but I'll explain why I put my #1 as my #1 when I get to it (which you should know what it is by now!) But this was definitely right behind it. I love pretty much every song on the album and even the songs that rank towards the bottom are still pretty good. There are only three songs I MIGHT skip; depending on my mood, but I'm happy to listen to the entire album either straight through or on shuffle. Two of them I skip because they're just not my favorites, although they are growing on me- "I Forgot That You Existed" and "It's Nice to Have a Friend." The former starts out this album so it was the very first song I heard when I first listened to Lover. I liked it well enough when I first heard it; it has a bit of a sassy attitude and kind of reminds me of something Mariah Carey would sing in the early '00s. Even the little laugh and the indifferent "so, yeah..." at the end reminds me of something MC would do in a song. However, after listening to the entire album, I came to the conclusion that this is the weakest song on the album. (Well, either this one or "ME!"). I don't know who the person she's referring to that she forgot existed (I've read many theories), but it has to be a fellow musician because of the "Would've been right there, front row, even if nobody came to your show" line. I just assumed it was about Calvin Harris, *shrug*. HOWEVER, if the point is she's telling this person that she forgot they existed, then why is she writing a song about it? She obviously didn't forget they existed if she went out of her way to write a song about how she forgot they existed. But I digress... As for "It's Nice to Have a Friend", it's a different sounding song with a choir in the background. I wasn't crazy about it the first few times I heard it, but I'm slowly coming around to it. Even my lowest ranked songs on this album are still pretty good. The only other song I sometimes might skip is "Soon You'll Get Better" and that's only because it's a sad song, not because I don't like it. It's about when her mom had cancer (hopefully it's still past tense) and it's probably the first time I cried listening to a Taylor Swift song. I like the inclusion of the Dixie Chicks because I am a big fan of theirs (if you're not familiar with their work, go listen to "Goodbye Earl" and "Not Ready To Make Nice"; so good!), but I like that they don't overshadow Taylor.

When I see people's rankings of the songs on the album (this would be nearly impossible for me to do!), I notice that her first two singles, "ME!" and "You Need to Calm Down" are generally towards the bottom. I don't know if this is due to song fatigue because those songs were everywhere by the time this album came out or if there are so many other great songs that they got pushed to the bottom. I can see a case for both. I like both songs; I think they're both fun, poppy, upbeat songs. Are they among my top favorites of this album? No. You know, when "ME!" first came out way back in April or May or whenever it was, I had no idea it was the first single to Taylor's new CD. I just figured there was a new Panic! At the Disco album coming out and it was a single from that. You know, like when she collaborated with Boys Like Girls (remember them? What was their big hit? :::Goes to look it up::: Ah, yes, "Love Drunk"; that was a banger!) and they did "Two Is Better Than One" and that was on their album, not hers. 

"False God" has a smooth jazz feel to it. It's a different sound for her, but I like it. I feel like this song is for her older audience. It has a sexy, grown up, mature vibe to it. And that saxophone! 

When I first saw that there was a song called "Cruel Summer" on this album, I knew it wouldn't be a cover of the Bananarama song, but I thought she might sample from it. She doesn't, although that would have been cool. This song sounds like a sister song to "Getaway Car"; very similar vibes. I love this song. I love the "ooooh-aaaahhh, cruuuueeeel summer" and when she shouts, "He looks up grinning like a devil" because it just comes out of nowhere (especially the first time you hear it; it certainly took me by surprise!)

I think "Lover" is her first truly great single from this album. It has the dreamy quality that makes you want to sway back and forth and sing along. I see this being the new song that will be played at weddings. Even though I hate the word "lover" in this context (because, seriously, who introduces their S.O. as their "lover"? NOBODY), there's really no other word that would work. She can't sing, "You're my, my, my, my significant other." Doesn't work. And she definitely can't sing, "You're my my, my boyfriend." Ick even worse!

"The Man" is her most clubby sounding song with the strong bass and that weird horn thing. It's a female empowering song where Taylor tells us that if she were a man, she'd be THE man. I like the end where they alter her voice to almost make it sound like she's waking up from a dream/fantasy of pondering how her life would be different if she were a man.

If there was any song that had the potential to take over "All Too Well" as my #1 favorite TS song, it would be "The Archer", (so yes, it's my favorite song on this album), which she didn't release as a single, but did leak it on YouTube a couple weeks before the album was released. It has that '80s dream pop vibe with the synthesizers and I love how it builds and builds. However, for now, this song will have to settle for my second favorite TS song of all time because I just can't see anything passing "All Too Well". Hmm, interesting that both songs are Taylor at her most vulnerable. 

I freaking love "I Think He Knows." Bless my soul, what a fun song!  It reminds me of something you would hear in a musical (I think because of the finger snapping sounds) and it also reminds me of something Prince would sing (I think because of her falsetto voice). When I first heard the "He got my heartbeat skippin' down Sixteenth Avenue" lyric, I just assumed she was referring to New York, but it's actually Nashville. In my defense, I am familiar with neither city. The drum beat after the bridge is SO good. Like, I have to pretend play the drums whenever that part comes on.

When I first heard "Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince" (great title), it reminded me of "Toy Soldiers" by Martika because of the children's chorus, although in the Taylor song it's cheerleader chants. I think it's clever how she uses cheerleading words (like, "Okay!" and "Go! Fight! Win!") throughout the song. I really want this to be a single because I think a music video for this would be really cool. 

"Paper Rings" reminds me of something that would play during the prom scene in 10 Things I Hate About You. Can't you see Letters To Cleo singing this circa 1999?  I'm not the only one who thinks this. I saw someone post this on Twitter and had to tell them I had the exact same thought. Apparently, searching for "Paper Rings" and "10 Things I Hate About You" on Twitter, many people have also came to the same conclusion. It's a very fun song; uh huh, that's right! 

I love "London Boy" (heh, and so does Ms. Swift!), another super fun song on the album. When I first heard the song, I assumed the guy talking at the beginning was her boyfriend because it's a guy with a British accent and, you know, the song is about her boyfriend. But, no, it's actually Idris Elba. Do you think they were on the set of "Cats" and she recorded a conversation they had? Or, probably, less creepily, do you think she asked him to say something for her song? I'm sure she got his permission either way. This song is so darn catchy and I must sing it every time it comes on. I laugh every time she sings "I'm your queen like a Tennessee Stella McCartney on the Heath" because she's obviously name dropping. Now I know she and Stella have a fashion collaboration, but could the name dropping be any more obvious? 

I love the pan flute (probably the wrong instrument!) that's throughout "Cornelia Street", another great song. I love the plucky instrument that's played throughout "Death By A Thousand Cuts", which is quite upbeat for a breakup song. "I ask the traffic light if it will be alright, they say, "I don't know" is my favorite line. Apparently this song was inspired by the Netflix movie, Someone Great (when does Taylor Swift have time to Netflix and chill??), which I haven't seen. "Afterglow" is also another good song. 

She continues her string of amazing album ending songs (well, except for "Change" which is her weakest ending song...oh, and I guess "Begin Again" also wasn't my favorite ending song) with "Daylight". Between "Long Live", "Clean", "New Year's Day," and "Daylight," I don't know which is my favorite album ending song from her. (I mean, I think "Our Song" is super fun, but no way it's in this conversation!) But "Daylight" is definitely a contender. I like how there's an echo of her voice and it almost sounds like a ghost of her past self (ooh, that's deep!), especially with the lyric, "I once believed love would be burning red, but it's golden like daylight", obviously a nod to her song "Red" from the titular album.

1. 1989, 2014

You guys, this album is amazing. A. MAZE. ING. No wonder it won a Grammy for Album of the Year. First of all, it gave us so many great singles: "Shake it Off". "Blank Space". "Style". "Wildest Dreams". You still hear these songs all over the radio occasionally. Compare that to her singles from reputation where only "Delicate" is still played on a regular basis. Even "Bad Blood", the weakest song, is still pretty darn catchy. It was another big single, but you don't hear it as much anymore...at least as not as much as the others I mentioned. Really, this album is so good that all the tracks could have been singles.

This is her first full pop album. When she first ventured into pop with Red, I was all, "Wah-wah, she should stick with country" (even though I loved "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" the most poppiest pop song, so yes, I am a hypocrite). How wrong I was! Transitioning to pop was the best thing she ever did. Of course, I do prefer pop music to country.

Not gonna lie; when I first listened to this album (I bought it off iTunes), I was sitting on my bed and the first words out of my mouth were, "What the f**k is this?" when hearing the opening to "Welcome to New York". It was just something different, so it just took me by surprise. Was I enamored with this album the first time I listened to it? No, but I did like it and I listened to it every single day for at least a year (probably more) and the more I listened to it, the more I loved it.

This might be a hot take, but "Welcome to New York" is my favorite opening to a TS album. When I went to NYC in 2004, they were playing the Frank Sinatra song ("Start spreading the news...") in the lobby of the hotel we were staying at in a loop. They need to play "Welcome to New York" at every hotel in NYC on a loop (cuz that wouldn't get irritating!) I'd be the one dancing and singing along, "It's the new soundtrack, I could dance to this beeee-eeee----eee-at....the lights are so bright, but they never blind meeee-eeee-eeeee--eee!" I always thought this song should be the theme song to The Carrie Diaries (remember that show? Probably not) even though that show was already cancelled by the time this album was released and it takes place in the '80s, but can't you see AnnaSophia Robb looking around in wide eyed wonder as she walks through the city during the credits while that song is blaring?

Speaking of the '80s, there's definitely an '80s throwback vibe to many of the songs and it's no wonder I love this album since I love '80s music. If Style had come out in 1984 instead of 2014, I could totally see it being used in a John Hughes movie in a scene with Molly Ringwald looking at herself in a mirror as she's getting ready for a date with the coolest boy in school.

Whenever I listened to "Blank Space" (which is tied with about ten other songs for my favorite song on 1989), I kept hearing her say, "Got a lot of Starbucks lovers" and I was all, sure, that totally makes sense! I was very intrigued by these Starbucks lovers, then decided that lyric probably wasn't right and looked it up and she's actually saying "Got a long list of ex-lover".  Ohhhh. But you know what, I still hear the Starbucks line whenever I listen to it, but I also hear the real line. It's like that portrait where sometimes you see an ugly old woman or you sometimes see a beautiful young woman depending on how you look at it. Love the sound effect of the pen clicking; this entire song is just pure pop perfection (I mean, let's be real: the entire ALBUM is pure pop perfection).

"Out of the Woods" could have become easily annoying with its repetitive chorus, but it works, at least for me. Please excuse the terrible pun, but I like the swiftness of it; there's a bit of an urgency to it. I just love the way she shouts, "GOOD!" at the end. The bridge is probably my favorite from the album....at least tied in first place with about eight other bridges. There's also a sense of urgency to "I Wish You Would"; another great song with a great bridge.

Her fans have pointed out that all her track five songs have been ballads where she's usually at her most vulnerable, but I don't think Taylor was privy to this until after 1989 because her track five song on this, "All You Had To Do Was Stay", is super poppy and doesn't really follow the track five formula. Don't get me wrong; I love the song, but "This Love" would have made more sense in this spot.

"Shake it Off" is probably the most overplayed Taylor Swift song of all time (is there any data  on this?), but I love it, especially now since they don't play it 50 times a day on the radio like they did back in 2014/15! It's just a really fun song and I like the big band influence with the horns. This song just makes you want to dance and you have to clap your hands during the clapping parts (much like you have to clap your hands whenever you watch the opening credits to Friends). A couple years ago, when my niece was two, this song came on, and she started shaking her little booty - she couldn't deny the power of this song making you want to dance; it was pretty cute! I also love the "You could've been getting down to. This. Sick. Beat" part. I think this is the song that Taylor is best known for.

I mentioned "Bad Blood" is the weakest song on the album, but I still kind of love it, cliche lyrics and all. It's about her stupid feud with Katy Perry, but they've made up, so does that mean this song is no longer relevant?

She gets a little breathy on "Wildest Dreams" ("in your wiiilllllllllldddddeeeessstt dreeeeaaammmssss, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh----ahhhhhhhhhh"), but I still love it (the song, not the weird breathy part!)

"How You Get the Girl" doesn't seem to be a favorite among many people, but I love it. It's just so darn catchy! I've seen criticism of it sounding like it belongs in a teeny bopper Disney channel movies and damn it, they'e right. It is a very bubblegum pop song. Perhaps I just loved the boppiness of it, that I never really dissected the lyrics and they are a tad problematic - the whole song is Taylor giving advice to some dude on how to win his girlfriend back. Shouldn't she be on the girl's side; I mean, maybe there's a reason why they broke up in the first place. But it's such a fun, upbeat, song and my favorite part is when she sings, "and yooooooo-oooooou knoooooooo-oooooooow (oooooh-oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh!) that I dooooooon't want yoooooouuuuu to go oh oh." Okay, that probably doesn't translate as well in text, but you know what part I'm talking about. I LOVE that part!

When I first started listening to this album, for about the first month or so, I would skip the last three songs (and I deeply regret this because I was wrong for doing so!) because I just didn't care for them. Now I listen to the entire album ("Bad Blood" is the only one I might skip). I love the last three songs on the album and one of them is one of my favorite TS songs of all time. I used to skip "This Love" because it was the slowest song on the album (thus the reason it would have been a great track five) and I just wanted this to be a fun, upbeat, poppy album to listen to and I guess I felt it disrupted its flow. Now I appreciate it more and love the dreamy, atmospheric mood of it with the synthesizers. It kind of reminds me of "Love You 'til the End of Time" - a deep cut Mariah Carey track from the early '90s.

I used to skip "I Know Places" because it was just such a different sound, not only from the album, but from Taylor herself, I guess it just took awhile for me to get used to it, but now I really dig it. It's pretty apparent that this song was brought to you by the letter "I"!

Why did I ever skip "Clean"? I really don't remember, because this song is amazing and when I did my TS song ranking (before reputation), it was ranked #5 and it would still be in my top ten. I know I said that I didn't know which album ending song was my favorite, but I lied. I do know. It's this one. I would recommend this song to someone who isn't familiar with TS songs other than her singles. I love the music, I love the lyrics, I love the bridge, I love the inclusion of Imogen Heap, I love the song! And, obviously, I love the entire album!

Thanks for taking your time to read this!