Do You Want To Build a Snowman?

Jack Frost

Director: Troy Miller

Cast: Michael Keaton, Kelly Preston, Joseph Cross, Mark Addy

Released: December 11, 1998

This is a weird movie. I had never seen it before until now, but the only think I knew was that Michael Keaton's character dies and he is reincarnated into a snowman with the help of his young son. The first half hour of the movie he is alive and, well, honestly, I kept waiting for him to die. (Well, I knew it was eventually going to come!) He plays Jack Frost (yes, that's his real name; who names their child 'Jack Frost'?) and he's in a band called The Jack Frost Band (very original) that sometimes get air time in the small town they live in, Medford, Colorado. The radio station seems to pride itself on playing music from the '70s and '90s and promises it won't play anything from the '60s or '80s. Wouldn't it make more sense to play something from two consecutive decades? I would rank the '70s as my least favorite for music from those four decades, so I wouldn't be listening to that station! The Jack Frost Band has a song called "Frosty the Snowman." No, it's not a cover; it's an original song. At the beginning of the movie, we see them playing and a talent agent is there and is just so amazed by them. :::whispers:::: They're not that good. 

Jack is married to Gabby (Kelly Preston) and they have a ten-year-old son named Charlie (Joseph Cross). Charlie is on the hockey team and he wants his dad to attend the big game. His dad has band practice or a gig or something to do with his band, but he promises Charlie he'll be there. When he's saying this, I thought for sure he was going to get killed in an accident while driving there, but that doesn't happen. He does miss the game and Gabby is furious with him since he promised Charlie he would be there. He apologizes to Charlie and gives him a harmonica that's special to him because he got it the day Charlie was born. He tells Charlie it's a "magical" harmonica because he can hear it whenever Charlie plays it, no matter where he is. Since Christmas is near, he tells Charlie that he has a great idea of the three of them spending the day at their cabin in the mountains with no distractions and have a nice family Christmas and Charlie loves this idea.

Somewhere between this scene and before Christmas Eve, Jack and his son build a snowman and Charlie tells his dad it looks like him (it doesn't) because it's wearing his hat or something. I don't know. 

On Christmas Eve they've got the car packed and are ready to go to the cabin, but Jack gets a phone call from a big name label that wants to listen to The Jack Frost Band and potentially sign them. When he tells this to his family, they are ecstatic for him, but when he reveals he has to do it tomorrow (which is Christmas Day), they are not so happy. Gabby is a little more understanding and asks him how long he would have to play. He says only a couple songs, it wouldn't be a full set. Both him and Gabby think he'll be able to play the set, but still be able to spend time at the cabin. Charlie, however, is not happy about this at all and he gives his dad the harmonica back, telling him he doesn't want it anymore. 

Jack and his friend, Mac (Mark Addy), who's also the band's keyboardist, are driving to the gig in one car while the rest of the band and equipment are following them in a van. At one point, Jack tells Mac to pull over. He has decided he needs to be with his family and that they're more important than his career. He takes Mac's car and its now dark and snowy and the windshield wipers won't work and he's driving through a windy mountain road and I knew this was when he was going to die. 

Ironically, if he had just stayed with his band, he not only would have (most likely) still been alive, but he probably would have had a very lucrative career and I'm sure his son would have forgiven him for missing the Christmas when he was ten. But now he's dead and Gabby is working two jobs: we see her as a teller at the bank and a teacher at Charlie's school. Well, maybe she's just volunteering at the school; I wasn't really sure. 

After the car careens off the mountain, the screen goes black, then we are given a title card saying that it's one year later. This surprised me somewhat because I was thinking the snowman that Charlie and his dad had built was the one that is reincarnated into Jack. But it does make sense that they let a year go by because it would be a lot to deal with in this family comedy if we had to see how a young boy copes with the death of his father right after it happens. He's still pretty torn up about it a year later which is understandable. 

He has withdrawn from his friends and has quit the hockey team. One of his friends is played by Andy Lawrence and I'm like, okay, that's the one who wasn't on Blossom or Boy Meets World. Mika Boorem plays another friend who is also on the hockey team and I think she lives next door to him and I think she has a crush on Charlie, but they don't really explore that. We also never see them walk home together, so I may be wrong on her being his next door neighbor. There's also a bully named Rory who picks on Charlie and we see this in a scene before Jack dies and Charlie is usually able to get the upper hand on Rory. 

One snowy evening, Charlie builds a snowman while "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac plays over the scene. He draws the snowman's mouth in the snow instead of using material like most kids would do, but this is probably for the sake of the production of the snowman (which was created with puppetry and some CGI). He's wearing a hat (the one that made him look like Jack) and a red scarf. He has a cork for a nose and his eyebrows are made out of pine needles, which I thought was clever. I can't tell what his eyes are made out of. 

Even though Charlie gave the harmonica to his dad before he died, he has it back and starts playing it in his room. We see some wind whip around the snowman and voila!, he comes alive. Okay, if I had built a snowman and it came alive, I would be terrified. Espeically if it looked like this snowman. And Charlie is terrified. Jack doesn't seem to realize he's a snowman until he sees his reflection in the mirror and even that doesn't deter him from people seeing him walk around town. 

When Charlie is pelted by snowballs the next day by Rory the bully, Snowman Jack has followed him and starts launching snowballs at Rory, just like that scene in Elf when Buddy pelts snowballs at the kids. Rory and his minions start chasing after him and Snowman Jack saves the day by rescuing him on a sled and they go down the mountain (I didn't even realize they were on top of a mountain in the first place) with the bully entourage chasing him with sleds and snowboards set to some very '90s song. I did some research and found it was "Hey Now Now" by Swirl 360, a song or a group I'm pretty sure I've never heard of in my life...and I was around in the' 90s. The song is so '90s it simultaneously made me cringe and feel nostalgic. While they're sledding down the mountain, Snowman Jack says, "I'm the man! No, I'm the snowman!" Insert groan here. 

Since the snowman helped Charlie escape the big bully and the little bullies, he thinks it might actually be his dad, so he asks him a few simple questions that his dad should know, right? Wrong! Jack gets them both wrong! But then he calls Charlie "Charlie-boy" while he's talking to him and Charlie is all, "What did you call me?" And this is his proof that the snowman is his dad. Really? I honestly feel like any random person could just guess that "Charlie-boy" is his nickname. I don't think that would be enough proof for me, but it's enough for this eleven-year-old. 

I mentioned that this was the first time seeing this movie and while watching it, I thought that perhaps the snowman isn't actually sentient; perhaps it's all in Charlie's mind and he's just imagining it to be alive because his grief is still so fresh. Charlie tells his dad that he came alive as a snowman after he played the harmonica and says he didn't know it really was magical and even Jack admits that he was bs-ing him when he said that. Being that this is just an ordinary harmonica, I wondered if Charlie had created this fantasy when he played the harmonica. However, there were a few scenes that made me question if this could actually be the case. Snowman Jacks tells Charlie he's hungry, so they go back to the house where Charlie gives him frozen vegetables (I guess that's what snowmen eat? Why would a snowman even need to eat anything? It's a snowman!) and while they're in the kitchen, they don't hear Gabby's car pull up. She's walking towards the house and notices the snowman isn't there. Snowman Jack is hiding in the pantry and Charlie tries to distract his mother until the snowman can go back to the front yard where it was. When Gabby opens the blinds, she sees the snowman back in its place and just thinks she's losing her mind. The only thing I could explain for this scenario if the snowman isn't sentient is that Charlie brought in the snowman himself (Gabby did mention the floor was all wet). 

Charlie isn't the only one to witness a talking and moving snowman; his hockey coach sees Snowman Jack when Jack, who seems to forget that he's a freaking talking snowman, stops the coach in his car to ask him something and the man just screams. We will see later that he's being interviewed on TV about it and when the reporter asks if there were any other witnesses around (heh, clearly she doesn't believe him), he can only tell her no. Also, when Rory was chasing Charlie down the mountain, Snowman Jack comes up from behind him to wipe him out and Rory sees a snowman on a sled and he screams, "Ahhh! Snowman!" 

So those two examples don't really help my case that the living snowman is all in Charlie's mind. Even though it's still December and we got a couple months of winter left, the weather is getting warmer and if Charlie doesn't help him, he's going to turn into a puddle. 

After some heart to hearts with his snowman dad, Chatrlie has decided to rejoin the hockey team and Snowman Jack goes all the way to the rec center or wherever they have hockey games and watch his son play hockey since he always missed it when he was alive. The best thing about this movie is the adorable pet dog Charlie has named Chester and he uses the dog to pull a sled. By this time Snowman Jack knows he can't just be walking about since he's a freaking snowman so he has the dog pull him on a sled. You might be thinking the dog was a husky or a Samoyed, but it was a Wire Fox Terrier; at least that's what Google told me. I knew it was a terrier, but I had to look up what breed it was. But whatever it is, it is an absolutely adorable dog and easily the best part of there movie.

So Snowman Jack makes it to his son's hockey game (don't worry, he's not sitting with the rest of the spectators, he's sort of hidden...somewhere) and he only sees about the last fifteen seconds of the game, but Charlie scores a goal and he's able to see that, whoopee. After the game, Charlie doesn't seem one bit surprised that he's there. He does notice his snowman dad needs to get somewhere colder because he's starting to melt. He runs to the bank his mom works at, telling her she needs to help him and admits the snowman is her deceased husband. Of course she doesn't believe him and basically tells him she's not driving a snowman up a mountain. I mean, can you blame her? She had seen him talking to the snowman and was worried about him, but never did she think it was this bad! She runs after him, but he's gone, so she goes to see if Mac can help. By this time, Charlie has spotted an alpine tree truck heading towards the mountain so he decides to get his snowman dad on the truck. He does this with the help of Rory, of all people. At first, Rory taunts the boy, but then Snowman Jack talks to him, startling the boy. It kind of reminded me when Woody talks to Sid, but Rory handles a sentiment snowman way better than Sid handled a sentient toy. I probably would be more like Sid. Rory has grown up without a dad...I think he's in jail, maybe? I don't know, but he knows what it's like to not have a dad so this makes the two boys bond, I guess, and he helps Charlie get Snowman Jack in the truck. Charlie also rides with him even though Snowman Jack could easily just jump out of the truck when the truck reaches the  top, but I guess they need Charlie here as part of the plot. 

So they go to the top of the mountain and jump out and slide down. There's lots of snow and it's very beautiful, but the jacket Charlie is wearing looks very light. Maybe it's one of those coats that are warmer than it looks. I also noticed that this kid never wears a scarf or anything to cover his neck or lower face and I can just imagine how cold he must get. Maybe it wasn't as cold as it looked, I don't know. Maybe I'm just a wimp when it comes to cold weather and I like to bundle up. But luckily, they are near their cabin, so Charlie is able to get warmed up on the couch in front of the fire. We don't see who made the fire, but how f***ed up would that be if the snowman made it? 

It's now dark outside and you can imagine that Gabby is besides herself with worry because her son not only thinks his dead dad is a snowman, but he's also missing. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, when she and Mac are looking for him, we see them go down a street, just missing Charlie and Snowman Jack jumping onto the truck. Gabby gets a phone call and it's Snowman Jack telling her that Charlie is safe and he's at the cabin. Gabby wants to know who's calling her, then realizes it sounds like Jack's voice and when she says "Jack"? he hangs up. I would be a little concerned if I were her and would probably call the cops to accompany me to the cabin. Who knows if this is some sick creep who kidnapped Charlie and maybe he knew Jack so he's able to impersonate his voice and now he's trying to lure Gabby into his trap. Just saying!

But Gabby drives up alone and there's nothing to worry about because it's just a sentient snowman who's her deceased husband. I guess the magical curse or whatever you want to call it wears off because the snowman disappears, but then we see Michael Keaton with a glow emitting from him as he says goodbye to his son and wife for the final time. By the time Gabby witnesses this, I knew for a fact that Michael Keaton was really a sentient snowman this entire time and Charlie wasn't just imagining it. I sort of figured this out earlier, but kept trying to tell myself that they would explain the odd things. No, it's a real f***ing snowman! That was brought to life by a regular old harmonica! O-kay! 

Another thing I felt they never address or maybe I just missed it, was if Gabby and Charlie knew that Jack was coming to see them at the cabin last year at Christmas? Did they figure out when they realized his car was coming towards them? But his car flew off a mountain, so how would they know if he was going towards the cabin or away from them? I kept waiting for Snowman Jack to tell Charlie this, but he never does. Maybe he just didn't want to make Charlie feel guilty. 

I suppose this could be classified as a Christmas movie and even though it's set around Christmas and there's a Christmas tree and Christmas decorations, it just doesn't feel like a Christmas movie. It feels more like a winter movie, you know, with the winter sports like hockey and snowboarding and, duh, the snowman. When I was looking up the song that played during the sledding scene, I noticed there were Christmas songs listed, but I honestly don't even remember hearing them. I doubt this is on anyone's top ten Christmas movie list, let alone top fifty! 

Okay, bye. 

Corresponding in New York

You've Got Mail

Director: Nora Ephron

Cast: Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Parker Posey, Dabney Coleman, Dave Chappelle

Released: December 18, 1998

Wow, this movie brought back memories of AOL. Not necessarily good memories, but aggravating memories. Remember how long it took to get onto AOL and that ANNOYING dial tone sound (which I was reminded of because that irritating sound is used in the movie when they get on AOL). It was like EUGHGHGHGHGHRRRRH,,,RRRRRRRR...!!! Okay, I can't really mimic it with my typing, but if you've ever used America Online, you know what I'm talking about! Now, I liked AOL when I had it, but I didn't have anything else to compare it too, but once internet connection got better, you can bet I was done with that sh*t! 

So as you may or may not know, this is the third movie Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan star in together. Even though they have way more screen time together in this movie than they did in Sleepless in Seattle, I would say Sleepless is the more iconic and beloved movie. The first movie they were in together was Joe Versus the Volcano, a movie I don't think I've ever seen (if I have, I've forgotten everything about it). 

The beginning of this movie with the credits has some of the worst computer graphics I've ever seen, but I'm guessing for the time (1998), they were supposed to be innovative or something. Yikes! We are first introduced to Kathleen (Meg Ryan) who lives with her writer boyfriend, Frank (Greg Kinnear). After he leaves for work, she tiptoes around the house to make sure he's gone so she can sign onto AOL and essentially cheat on her significant other as she's been having a relationship with someone she's met online. The movie wants you to think this is the cutest thing ever. As soon as I heard the sound of that irritating dial tone, I thought to myself, Yep! That's a sound I sure don't miss! As soon as she signs on, we hear the computerized voice tell her, "Welcome! You've got mail!" That's a sound that will be forever etched into my brain, even though it's probably been more than twenty years since I last heard it. (Okay, obviously that's a lie since I just saw this movie not that long ago, but you know what I mean). Kathleen mouths "You've got mail" along with the computer voice and that is kinda cute, I will admit. We see her screen name is Shopgirl which would never happen. More likely, it would be Shopgirl1962 or Shoppppgirrrll. There's no way she would be able to get simply "Shopgirl". I still remember my AOL screen name: it was Hourless. I didn't want to add numbers (I don't know why I was so opposed to numbers in my screen name, I guess because it doesn't look as nice, but now I usually do have to add number to any site where I have a screen name and I usually just use my birthday...now you know my birthday!) I got the name from a horse that won the Belmont Stakes in the early 20th century. I scoured my almanac of the list of horses that won races that are part of the Triple Crown; you can find a lot of interesting names and unusual names since they have very strict rules about what people name their horses since you obviously you can't have repeat names. 

Anyhoo, Kathleen does indeed have mail just like the AOL computer guy tells her. It's an e-mail from someone with the screen name NY152. I suppose this screen name is more realistic to get than "Shopgirl", but yawn, how boring! Though "Shopgirl" isn't particularly exciting or original. BTW, you may be thinking Kathleen chose the name "Shopgirl" because she likes to shop, but you would be wrong. While I am sure she does like to shop, she has it because she owns a children's bookstore called The Shop Around the Corner. The e-mail from NY152 is presumably from a man around her age (how would she even know for sure since she's never met him?) that talks about his dog and how much he loves New York in the fall. This scene establishes that they don't know each other's names or addresses (or what they look like, for that matter). NY152 tells Shopgirl "this not knowing has its charms." Uh-huh, sure. 

If you haven't already guessed by now, NY152 is Tom Hanks, whose character's name is Joe. His screen name is what it is because he lives on 152nd street in New York. These people aren't the most original with their screen names! Like Kathleen, Joe also lives with a significant other. His girlfriend, Patricia (Parker Posey), lives with him. After she leaves, like Kathleen, Joe is also tiptoeing to the computer to make sure he's not caught. I'm not really sure why they gave our two main characters live-in significant others. I guess to be an obstacle, but it just made our main characters unlikeable because they were essentially cheating on them. Sure, Shopgirl and NY152 have never met, but they were still having an emotional connection online and were keeping the other a secret from their significant others. Super shady if you ask me! It's also so weird how Kathleen is acting like she is in love with this man she's never met (and could be anyone from a sixteen-year-old boy messing with her or an eighty-year-old lonely man or a man her age....but who is a serial killer...I guess the concept of being "catfished" wasn't something people thought of back then). She writes him, "I can't wait to hear those three little words (she means "you've got mail", not the other three you may be thinking of!). I don't hear the streets of New York, jut the sound of my heart beating." Huh, what? Who says that?

As "Dreams" by the Cranberries (the only good song in this movie) is playing, we see a montage of both Kathleen and Joe walking the streets of New York...and just barely missing each other several times! Joe goes into Starbucks just as Kathleen is coming out of it and we see them walking parallel each other on opposites sides of a gate. 

So I mentioned Kathleen owns a small children's book shop called The Shop Around the Corner. It used to belong to her mom, but Kathleen took over when her mom died...whenever that was as we're not given a definite time when this happened. Since it only caters to children (and probably only children to a certain age because I didn't see any young adult novels in there, though maybe there were) it's a very niche shop. It is a very charming little shop and feels very cozy and homey. Kathleen is very personable with her patrons and knows many of them by name. She has story hour and just makes sure everyone who comes to her store has a good experience. The only thing people might gripe about on their Yelp page might be the prices because they tend to be a little higher than what you would find at a chain bookstore. 

And speaking of chain bookstores...Joe's father (Dabney Coleman) owns a chain of Barnes and Noble clone bookstores called Fox and Sons and they're opening on on the Upper West Side which isn't too far from The Shop Around the Corner. (In fact, I'm pretty certain where they filmed was a B&N). Joe tells his friend/employee, Kevin (Dave Chappelle), about their customers: "We're going to seduce them with our square footage, our discounts, our deep armchairs and our cappuccino." 

Joe's dad is getting married again. The "again" implies that he's been married quite a few times. The woman he is marrying, Gillian, is quite younger than him as they have a four-year-old son together. They've been living together for five years. At this point, why even bother getting married? So a thirty-something man has a four-year-old brother. Granted, it's his half-brother, but still, that's odd. The whole thing with Joe's unusual family situation doesn't really add anything and doesn't need to be in the movie. 

I had to chuckle during a scene where we see Kathleen on the subway and she's reading a book as are some of the other people around her. No way this would happen now; most people would be on their phones! I say that even though I would be someone with a book.

When Kathleen opens her shop the same day she's just messaged Joe, her young employees, Christina and George (Heather Burns and Steve Zahn) can tell something is up with her because she's acting all lovey-dovey. When they ask her what's going on, she asks, "Is it infidelity if you're involved with someone on e-mail?" Uh, yes, especially if you're building an emotional bond with that person. We find out that she met NY152 in the "Over 30" chatroom. Oh, man, the only thing I remember about chat rooms were the stupid A/S/L template somebody would type every thirty seconds, I swear. Also, I remember that in chat rooms everyone was talking at the same time and it was just a mess. That got real old real fast. She tells her co-workers they both started chatting about "books and music" and how much they "both love New York." You know, I listened to a podcast where they said they treat New York like it's some quaint little town and I have to agree with that statement. I wonder if they went into their own private chat room or just kept chatting while there were other people in the chatroom. Oh, besides not knowing his name or what he looks like, she also doesn't know what he does because they agreed not to tell each other that for some reason. Gee, how totally convenient! Because if she learned he was part of the Fox Books empire, she would not take so kindly to him! 

And speaking of Fox Books, Kathleen and her employees see the building where they have painted "Fox Books Coming Soon" ON THE BUILDING. Why did they paint that on the building? Why not just make a sign? They're just going to have to paint over the letters. 

We get a montage of NY152 and Shopgirl (aka Joe and Kathleen) exchanging cutesy little stories and insights. We see Joe attempting to read Pride and Prejudice as we hear a voiceover from Kathleen telling him she's read it 200 times (200 times? That seems like overkill.) She tells him that she gets "lost in the language" and we see Joe looking really bored and flippantly toss the side aside. I'm on Joe's side here. I've never read Pride and Prejudice. I once tried to read Wuthering Heights. Boy, that didn't last long. I think I read the first chapter, then was like, Nope, not for me. But when Kathleen tells him, "Read it. I know you'll love it," he throws up his hands in defeat and reaches for the book which he does read. I'm not really sure why Kathleen thinks he'll love it. I guess they've had enough discussion about books for her to come to that conclusion.

The day Joe meets Kathleen (without knowing she's the one he's been corresponding with, obviously) is the day he spends with his four-year-old half-brother, Matt. Also along with them is Annabel, the daughter of his grandfather, who is probably around ten. What the heck is up with this family? They sure like to have children when they are old! Gillian brings the kids to him along with the nanny in case he couldn't handle them, but he tells the nanny to take the day off. Gillian tells Joe to kiss her because she's going to be his "wicked stepmother" and as he hesitantly kisses her on the cheek, she turns her head so they're kissing on the lips. I thought she was making a pass at Joe because she is closer in age to him than she is to Joe's father, and let's face it, she's only getting married to Mr. Fox because he's worth a lot of money. 

We see a cute montage of Tom Hanks and the two kids at the fair doing cute stuff like a ring toss, riding in cars that go around in circles, getting their faces painted, eating cotton candy, and hitting a scale with a hammer to see how much weight they can hit (which when Joe does, the hammer goes flying, so I don't know if this was purposeful or something they left in because Tom Hanks accidentally lost control of it). When they leave the fair, they walk past Kathleen's shop where there is a sign saying that story hour is about to begin and the kids want to see the "Storybook Lady", who is obviously Kathleen. While she reads from a children's book (I don't even remember what it was, but I wasn't familiar with), the children are engrossed in the story and Joe is clearly charmed.

Afterwards, Kathleen is showing Annabel some books. She assumes Joe is her dad, which, I can't blame her, because I would probably think the same thing. I would not think that this little girl is the aunt to this grown man, but that is what she tells Kathleen. 

Annabel sneezes and Kathleen offers the girl her (unused) handkerchief. Okay, why would you give a child (or anyone for that matter) a handkerchief to blow their snotty nose with? There are daises on it and Kathleen tells her that her mom embroidered them on it because daises are her favorite flower. I thought this was going to tip off Joe, like maybe Shopgirl had mentioned daises being her favorite flower, and he was going to figure out who she was, but he doesn't. I suppose even if he did know that fact about Shopgirl, I'm sure a lot of people like daisies. However, daisies will come back later on in the movie. And it wouldn't make sense for one of them to know who the other is so early in the film. We still have a lot of shenanigans to go through! Anyway, in a later scene, Kathleen reaches under the counter to retrieve a box of Kleenex which she offers to a woman who is crying because she is upset that Kathleen has to (spoiler alert!) close her store. This is proof that Kathleen didn't need to give Annabel her handkerchief! I would rather give someone my handkerchief to dry their tears than to someone who just sneezed! Look, I get that we need to have a link to the daisies, but that just bugs me! 

When Joe asks who she is, she tells him her name and that she owns this store. When she asks who HE is, he just replies, "Joe. Just call me Joe." This won't be the first non-truth that he keeps from her! 

The Fox bookstore has been opened for six days and Kathleen learns that they did $1200 less than the same week last year. Her young employee, Christina, is worried they will have to close and she will never be able to find another part time job and won't be able to pay her rent and will have to move to Brooklyn. I have so many questions: Where does she live now? And does she have another job? Because surely she can't afford anything in Manhattan if she's working part time at a children's book store unless Kathleen is super generous with the salary. Also, I'm sure it wouldn't be that HARD to find a part-time job....there must be thousands of them in NYC. Of course, I don't live there, so what do I know? Also, when she mentions she'll have to move to Brooklyn, she says it with such disdain dripping in her voice. I guess this was before Brooklyn became a cool place to live. 

Kathleen learns who Joe really is (as in that he's part of the Sons of Fox and Sons Bookstores, not that he's NY152, because, again, it is to early for them to find out who they really are) when she's attending a party with Frank. After she sees Joe and chats with him for a few minutes, someone comes up to her and tells her he can't believe she was talking to Joe Fox. She confronts Joe and accuses him of spying on her because she is the competition. 

Later that evening, Kathleen e-mails NYC152 to vent to him about Joe (which is hilarious since she is talking to Joe), but of course she's being as vague as possible so he doesn't even have a clue she's actually talking about HIM. When he replies back, he asks her if she thinks they should meet and Kathleen responds by closing her laptop. 

We then get a montage of either Kathleen seeing Joe everywhere she goes and trying to avoid him or Joe seeing Kathleen everywhere he goes and trying to avoid her. 

Things aren't looking too good for Kathleen's bookstore. A children's book author will be signing books soon at Fox and Sons, an author who used to have a good relationship with Kathleen and the Shop Around the Corner. Also, it's around Christmas and Kathleen sees many holiday shoppers walking by holding Fox and Sons Bookstore bags. How depressing is that? 

Kathleen emails NY152 and tells him she wishes her mother was still alive so she could ask her for some advice and Joe replies and ask if he can help. When Kathleen is about to reply, she gets an IM from Joe who tells her he had a feeling she would be online. (Um, if I remember right, you can see when someone is online unless they have you blocked or something. It's not like you're blindly sending them an instant message and guessing that they're online). Anyway, this seems to be the first time they're chatting live. She tells him her business is in trouble and he replies that he's a "brilliant businessman" and that he can help. When he asks her what she does, she refuses to tell him since they had both agreed on "no specifics." Obviously, this is done for plot purposes. Haha, can you imagine if she had told him she owned The Shop Around the Corner and he realized he was talking to Kathleen? But it's not time for either of them to realize who the other really is yet. 

So she vaguely tells him the problem and he tells her she "needs to go to war". Basically he writes a three paragraph essay on IM; doesn't he know that's what emails are for? I almost wanted to type out the entire thing he wrote to her, but that would take way too long and I didn't want to bore you with the details. (There were a lot of references to The Godfather). He writes her, "It's not personal, it's business" and tells her to recite that until she's all psyched up.

She asks Frank if he could write something about the store and he does. After his article comes out, people start picketing in front of Fox and Sons with signs that read "Bigger isn't better" and "Put socks in Fox" (eh, I feel like that one's kinda stretching it). They chant, "1, 2, 3, 4 we don't want your superstore, 5, 6, 7, 8, go away and close the gate." 

Ever after all this publicity, there hasn't been any difference in Kathleen's store's sales. So she e-mails NY152 to tell him she needs help and ask if he still wants to meet. They really hadn't talked about meeting since he had asked her earlier and she just ignored his comment about it. So now this is when the movie starts to get interesting. They're finally going to realize who the other person is and that they actually hate each other in real life! Ruh-roh! So they agree on a time and place to meet.

While Kathleen is already at Cafe Lalo (insert Better Call Saul joke here) Joe is walking with Kevin to meet Shopgirl. He has brought Kevin with him so he can check out the woman he's to meet. Shopgirl has told Joe that she will be have a book with a rose in it (ugh, how cliche is that? I would be too embarrassed to have a book (that she so prominently places on the table) with a rose sticking on it. If I were meeting somebody I never met, I would just tell them what color top I'm wearing or something like that) so that's how he will know it's her. Joe plans to only stay ten minutes. He'll say hello, have a cup of coffee, then "split". Now I know what you're thinking: couldn't have Joe just peered into the cafe and take a peek and see for himself? Well, yes, of course he would have, but it wouldn't have the same impact. You see, Kevin knows what Kathleen Kelly looks like because he saw her being interviewed on TV. 

Cafe Lalo -
they serve killer coffee!

So Kevin peers through the entrance and spots the book with the rose in it and first tells Joe that the woman looks very similar to Kathleen Kelly, then tells him it IS her. Joe is such a douche in this scene and I'm wondering why we are rooting for these two to get together? Instead of going in and admitting that he's NY152, he decides to let her wait there for a few minutes, then go in and act like he just popped in for a coffee and pretty much torments her and makes her feel bad about being stood up even though he's the one who stood her up! He tells her "this is a coincidence" that he ran into her. He sits at her table even though she tells him she's waiting for somebody (although, unbeknownst to her, the person she is waiting for is already sitting at her table!). He tells her he'll just sit there until her friend arrives. Obviously he knows nobody will be coming and just wants to rub it in her face and watch her face fall as any guy who enters completely ignore her. He even makes fun of the rose she brought. And when she asks him to leave, he just sits at the table behind her. This has to be the worst character Tom Hanks has ever played! He's such a jerk! He's just making her feel bad for being stood up and she tells him the man she's meeting is nothing like him (Oh, honey, if you only knew...) and tells him, "If he's not here, he has a reason." Joe takes offense to this and tells her she doesn't really know him to which she replies, "If I really knew you, I know what I would find. Instead of a brain, a cash register. Instead of a heart, a bottom line." She also tells him nobody will remember him or his and store and that he's "nothing but a suit." 

Of course she e-mails NY152 to tell him she went to meet him but he wasn't there and she felt foolish and wishes she knew why he wasn't there. I feel like if this happened in real life, the person who was stood up wouldn't even contact the person who stood them up because, odds are, they wouldn't even reply. She tells him while she was waiting for him, "a man who has made my professional life a misery" showed up, and, "for the first time in my life, when confronted with a horrible, insensitive person, I knew exactly what I wanted to say and I said it." She writes him this because they have had conversations about this. She had told him when she is provoked by someone she doesn't like, she gets tongue tied and her mind goes blank, then she "spends all night tossing and turning, trying to figure out what [she] should have said." She tells him it was the first time in her life she was able "to say the exact thing [she] wanted at the exact moment [she] wanted to say it. She goes on to say she she felt terrible afterwards and pretty much apologized to Joe without realizing it.

When Joe receives this e-mail, he thinks of an excuse as to why he wasn't there and starts typing things like he was out of town or he was stuck in a meeting and the electricity went out and he couldn't get out of the building. This scene drove me absolutely crazy because every time he would delete something, instead of highlighting the section he wanted to delete and pressing the "delete" button, he would press the backspace/delete key several times to delete the individual characters he had just typed! UGHGHGHGH! That was so irritating! WHY do people own a computer if they don't know how to use one?? 

After taking ten minutes to delete everything, he starts over and writes, "Dear friend, I cannot tell you what happened last night." (Oh, yeah, that doesn't sound shady at all!) He continues to say he feels terrible she found herself in a situation that caused her "additional pain" and that he will "explain everything" someday. Why not just come clean right now? I think the longer he waits, the worse it's going to be. At least, in theory. 

The movie takes a surprisingly realistic turn when Kathleen finally realizes she needs to close her store. I honestly was expecting her to come through and "win" and be able to keep her store. It is very sad when she has to close it. She puts a sign on the door which reads, "After 42 years, we are closing our doors. We have loved being part of your lives."  Now, ironically, Fox and Sons Bookstore would be closed (probably not too long after Kathleen's shop closed) because Amazon would be taking over. So suck it, Joe Fox!

She and Frank break up and it is the most mutual break up ever. They go out for dinner (well, first, actually they go to a movie, but they end up leaving during the previews because Frank can tell Kathleen is upset about something, so basically they wasted their money on a movie they never saw). At the restaurant Kathleen basically tells him she wants to break up and he agrees. He even admits he has his eye on someone. It's like, dude, maybe not mention that. I know she wants to break up with you, but you don't need to justify why you want to break up with her. Though to be fair, she's essentially been cheating on him this whole time so I guess it's only fair that he has someone else on the sideline He asks her if there's someone else and she says no (:::coughthat'saliecough:::), but that "there is the dream of someone else." Okay, Kathleen, whatever makes you feel better. 

For some reason, she goes to the children's section at Fox Books. I guess to make herself even more depressed. No, the reason for this scene is for Joe to observe her. While she's there, someone comes up to a guy who is working and asks him about a certain book he can't find but the employee has no idea what he's talking about. Kathleen, overhearing all this, gives them her expertise. 

Joe also breaks up with his girlfriend and moves into his boat. Because apparently he can't afford an apartment? They sure tied up Kathleen and Joe breaking up with their significant others into a nice little bow, didn't they? We also found out Joe's dad broke up with Gillian. She ran off with the nanny, of all things. I was so confused by this because throughout the movie it seemed like she was coming onto Joe. There was the scene where she tricked him into kissing her on the lips. There's also another scene around Christmas where the entire family is listening to Annabel sing Christmas carols and Gillian sits next to Joe on the couch and starts massaging his thigh! Like, what the hell? This prompts Joe to get up and the nanny sits in his spot. I guess you could say that was a ruse to get Joe to leave so the two secret (very secret, as this came out of left field!) lovebirds could sit together. 

Okay, I mentioned earlier that Dreams is the only good song in this movie. I totally forgot that Signed, Sealed, Delivered plays while Joe goes to Kathleen's apartment to bring her flowers. And not just any flowers, but daisies! Aha! That scene with the daisies on the handkerchief has finally paid off! Joe is bringing her flowers because he heard she was sick (from who?). He rings her buzzer and she doesn't want him to come in. Even if they were on good terms, I doubt she would want him to come in because when you're sick, the last thing you want is to socialize! You just want to stay in bed and sleep! Even though she has adamantly told him she doesn't want him to come in, he does anyway when someone is leaving the building. Kathleen is in her pajamas and she's got Kleenex everywhere and is eating soup. Joe tells her he wants to be her friend and wants to know what happed with the guy at the cafe. Obviously, he knows what happened! He seems to have a sick pleasure of messing her this way. She replies "nothing" and affirms she is crazy about him. But why? Why is so so head over heels about this guy she's never met and (as far as she's concerned) stood her up? It doesn't make sense to me. Joe suggests that she should meet him. Oh, really, Joe? 

Kathleen agrees with Joe (for whatever reason; I know, I know, it's all part of the plot) and later e-mails NY152 to tell him she wants to meet him and he agrees and replies, "I'm in the middle of a project that needs tweaking" and they will meet after that. Of course, his project is to groom Kathleen to make her fall for him and get info about her conversations with NY152, to see her side of things. He gets Kathleen to tell him what NY152 wrote to her and he suggests that he might be married. She doesn't believe this at all, but he's all, "Oh, are you sure?" and this makes her write to NY152 to ask if he's married and he replies with something like, "I can't believe you would ask me something like that" and never gives her a yes or no answer. Aurgh, at this point he is just messing with her for his own amusement. I honestly don't understand what the point of all of this is except for him to be an a$$h0le. 

We find out that Kathleen is working on a children's book and she tells Joe that that NY152 was the one who got her thinking about writing, so you know he felt pretty smug when she told him that!

Kathleen mentions that they keep bumping into each other (because he is low-key stalking her, it's all part of his plan) and Joe suggests that they "bump" into each other on Saturday, knowing full well that Kathleen can't meet with him because she's already made plans to meet with NY152 that afternoon at Riverside Park. Joe suggests he mights be a "westside" and Kathleen says, "Maybe I've seen him and don't even know it" and Joe replies, "You could have seen him every day and not know it. He could be anybody." At this point, I'm wondering if Kathleen is beginning to suspect it's him. We get no real evidence that she might. 

Joe tells her this guy has great timing and has waited until he's convinced "that there's no other man that [she] could possibly love" and proceeds to tell her that if he wasn't who he was or she wasn't who she was (basically if they had different careers that didn't conflict with each other's), then he would have asked her for her number and took her on a date. He also wants to know, "How can you forgive this guy for standing you up, and not forgive me for putting you out of business." Yeah, I might be annoyed if someone stood me up, but if it was someone I had never met before, I probably wouldn't be as annoyed if it was someone I had an established relationship. I think someone taking your business and your means of making a living is way worse than some rand-o standing you up. She doesn't even answer him; just tells him she has to go. 

During this scene, I thought the movie might go in a different direction. I thought she and Joe might have a long, serious talk and Joe would confess his feelings for her and she would decide he was the one for her and just stop communicating with NY152 altogether. At this point, it seems like too much time has gone by for Joe to reveal he is really her pen pal without her getting ticked off. I don't know what you would do in a situation like this. If you started a relationship with a person who didn't know you were the one they were talking to online, would you tell them or just let it slide? However, this movie knows that their audience wants Kathleen to find out who NY152 is so it's not surprising it ends the way it does. 

NY152 (btw, super weird that you would be meeting someone in real life you met online and not even know their name; I get it's for plot points, but this makes no sense) told Kathleen he would be with his dog, Brinkley. Joe has never told Kathleen he has a dog. Very clever, movie. When Kathleen goes to the park to meet him, she hears a dog barking and hears someone yelling, "Brinkley!" That's when she sees Joe. She is surprised at first, then just smiles and laughs, shaking her head, like, "Oh, you." I'll tell you one thing. I would not have this reaction. I don't think anyone would realistically have this reaction. I think most people would be a little irked that he was basically jerking her chain this entire time. She tells him, "I wanted it to be you." Okay, she had to know it was him, right? Does she know how astronomical the odds are that NY152 and Joe would be the same person? They kiss and Brinkley jumps up on Joe which made me laugh. 

And they lived happily ever after. Until Fox Books went under because of Amazon. Yeah, this movie infuriated me how Joe was pretty much messing with Kathleen the last third of the movie and she seems to be okay with it when it's revealed he's NY152. Also, the weird subplot with his soon-to-be stepmother didn't need to be in there at all. 

So I found this wild fact when I was cruising through the movie's IMDb page. I don't know if any of it is 100% accurate because I know nothing about computers from 1997, let alone how much they would cost, but this blew my mind:

Joe is using an IMB Thinkpad 770 series, which had a retail price of $6,900 in 1997 dollars. Kathleen is using an Apple PowerBook G3 250, which had a list price of $5,700 in 1997 dollars.

Good lord! I can't imagine paying $6-7 thousand dollars for a laptop in any year's money! Apparently, $7,000 in 1997 is equivalent to nearly $13,000 in today's money. WTF? That seems insane! Is that even right? Basically I got my iMac, my MacBook, and my phone all for less than what Joe paid for his stupid clunky-ass laptop in 1997! Good thing he's a multi-millionaire!! 

Wickedly Cool Stepmother

Stepmom

Director: Chris Colombus

Cast: Julia Roberts, Susan Sarandon, Ed Harris, Jena Malone, Liam Aiken

Released: December 25, 1998

This might be my favorite late-'90s Julia Roberts movie. It certainly isn't Notting Hill or Runaway Bride because those movies made me want to tear my hair out. My Best Friend's Wedding isn't as bad as those two, but still managed to drive me crazy. It's been a very long time since I've seen Stepmom and honestly, I thought I was going to hate it, but actually really quite liked it. The only things I remembered about it was the "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" dance scene and that the ending was very sad. Oh, and just in case you've never seen this, there will be spoilers).

Jackie (Susan Sarandon) and Luke (Ed Harris) are parents to twelve-year-old Anna (Jena Malone) and seven-year-old Ben (Liam Aiken). They are now divorced (probably a couple years now) and Luke has been dating Isabel (Julia Roberts) for a year and she moved in with him in his Manhattan loft and has been living with him for a month. Oh, yeah, everyone is really rich in this movie. Luke is a lawyer, Isabel is a photographer and shoots photo spreads and ads for well-known fashion magazines, and while Jackie doesn't work anymore, she used to work at Random House and lives in this huge Victorian house with a wraparound porch that's by a lake. This house is ridiculously gorgeous and amazing and I would love to live in it! I guess there's plenty of other problems for the characters in this movie to have, but financial problems won't be one of them! 

When the movie starts, I thought Isabel was already their stepmom because the kids are at the loft and she's trying to get them up and ready for school. Luke isn't there (it's implied he works a lot and that's one of the reasons why he and Jackie got divorced) and Isabel isn't having much luck with the kids. Ben, who is an aspiring magician, is hiding from her (he seems to do this a lot)  and Anna is ticked at her because it's "purple shirt day" at school and Isabel forgot to wash her purple shirt. Isabel makes up some bs excuse of how she didn't forget, she was up all night thinking that Anna shouldn't wear the same color as everyone else and gives her a red shirt to wear instead. 

When Isabel starts making breakfast for them, she opens one of the cabinets and that's when she (and the audience) discover that Ben was hiding in there. Um, no. There is no way that child could fit in the cupboard. Especially when we see not only is there a divider, but both shelves are stocked full of boxes and cans of food. Heh, I'm not the only one to complain about this. This is also mentioned in the "goofs" section of its IMDb page. 

Jackie arrives to pick them up and the kids are overjoyed to see her. She tells Isabel, "I'll handle it from here." Clearly, she thinks Isabel can't take care of her children. 

So, yes, Isabel is not their stepmom at the beginning of the movie; in fact, while Luke does propose to her, she never becomes their stepmom during the duration of the movie (which starts in September or October and ends at Christmas; I'm guessing they had a spring or summer wedding). When Jackie and Luke are having a meeting with Anna's school counselor (or maybe it was just her teacher), we get exposition about the relationship between Luke and Isabel. Anna's parents have been called for a conference because apparently she told the school her parents were getting remarried and the family was moving to Switzerland. The teacher/counselor tells Anna's parents that Anna seems "apathetic toward her work knowing she's leaving before this semester." Jackie and Luke are quick to tell her that is absolutely not true and when the counselor/teacher asks them could there be anything going on at home for Anna to make up this stuff, this is when we find out about the living arrangement with Luke and Isabel. Jackie says she's half his age, but Luke says she's not. Clearly, she is younger than him, but we are never given the ages of the adult characters, so I can't verify if she is indeed half his age. However, if we're never given an age for a character, I always just assume they're the same age as the actor playing them. Ed Harris is seventeen years older than Julia Roberts, so Jackie is pretty much right that she is half his age. Unless, of course Ed Harris is supposed to be playing younger and Julia Roberts is supposed to be playing older. The counselor/teacher thinks Anna may be responding to the "underlying hostility" between her mother and Isabel. 

During a scene between Luke and Isabel at their loft, things are a bit tense because he's going to Pittsburgh for work and tells her he'll call a baby-sitter because he doesn't "expect [her] to handle [the kids herself]." Um, why can't the kids just stay with their mom? I don't understand why Luke would go to the trouble of getting a baby-sitter for the weekend instead of just asking Jackie to take care of them. Of course, the film's plot needs Isabel to watch them, so they can't have the kids stay with their mom. If they had put in a throwaway line about Jackie being busy that weekend, that would have helped a lot. Isabel tells him he means that he doesn't think she can handle them herself. She asks him to give her a chance to watch the kids, so he agrees.

While they're having this conversation, the phone rings three times and Isabel answers each time, but nobody replies. It's actually Anna on the other end and she's clearly pissed every time Isabel answers. I don't know why she just doesn't ask her to speak to her dad; she knows that Isabel lives there so it shouldn't be that surprising Isabel is answering the phone. By the third time Isabel answers the phone and doesn't get a reply, she says, "What is your problem, a$$h@le?" and Anna (finally) replies, "YOU are my problem!" (I thought she was going to call Isabel an a-hole, too, but she doesn't.) I don't know what possessed Isabel to answer the phone like that. Okay, I get things were already a little tense between her and Luke and she was annoyed that nobody was answering the phone, but why not tell Luke to answer the phone the third time it rings? Did it even occur to her that it might be one of his kids calling? She already knows they're not crazy about her so it makes sense they would be petty and not want to talk to her when she answers the phone. 

When she takes care of the kids, Luke, the aspiring magician, is making a "magic potion" that he put a spell on and whoever drinks it will go to sleep for one thousand years. It's just hot cocoa and he brings it over to Anna who's working on her drawings (if Luke is an aspiring magician, Anna is an aspiring artist) and she threatens if he spills it on her stuff, she'll put him to sleep for a thousand years. I kept waiting for the cocoa to spill and the siblings to get into a huge fight, but it never happens. 

Isabel comes into the room and tells them she has a surprise for them and has them sit on the couch with their eyes closed. She presents them with an adorable golden retriever puppy. Ben is thrilled, but the first thing Anna tells her is she's allergic to dogs. Isabel tells her that her dad didn't say anything about it (so it sounds like she got permission from their father to get them a dog) and Anna replies that he probably doesn't know she's allergic because he's never around. I'm sorry, this is such bs. I think her dad would know if she's allergic to anything. He may be busy with work, but he still spends time with his kids and would know details like that. Also, we'll later see Anna cuddling with the puppy. She's just saying this because she wants to hurt Isabel and is being a brat. She continue being a brat when Isabel tells them they should give the puppy a name and Anna suggests "Isabel" because she smells like her and, as she tells Isabel, "And I'm allergic to you, too. It fits perfectly." She goes to her room and Isabel follows her and tells her she would really like it if they could get along and Anna tells her she doesn't have to listen to her because "you're not my mother", to which Isabel replies, "Thank God for that!" When she realizes she's hurt Anna's feelings, she tells her, "What I meant to say is you have a great mom. You don't need another one." Heh, nice "save", Isabel. She adds that she would like to be treated with some respect when Anna is in this house. Anna tells her this is her dad's house, but Isabel is quick to remind her that this is her home too. Anna tells her to get out of her room, so she does and this is when we see Anna pick up the puppy who's come over to her door and she cuddles with it for the rest of the night. One thing I like about this movie is that the relationship between Isabel and her boyfriend's/fiancé's kids (especially Anna) is very realistic. It makes sense why these kids don't like her because they want their parents to get back together and they resent Isabel very much. 

Isabel reads to Ben who tells her to drink the cocoa because he made it specifically for her. She starts to get very sleepy and eventually falls asleep in the middle of reading. I thought Ben would think his magic potion worked, you know, since he said it would put anyone who drank it asleep for a thousand years, but instead he tells Anna that he killed her. It was all just very odd. 

The next morning, Isabel is late arriving with the kids late to Jackie's (amazingly ridiculously gorgeous) house. Jackie is mad because it's 7:23 and Isabel and the kids were supposed to be there at 6:30 because Anna had a riding lesson. (Ugh, who would want to have a riding lesson that early? I used to take take horseback riding lessons and they were seven in the evening!) Isabel tells her that it's Monday and Annas's riding lessons are on Tuesday, but Jackie corrects her and says, "Except for the third Tuesday of the month, which switches to Monday." Okay, that sounds way complicated! Also, wouldn't Anna know this and remind Isabel? Unless, she specifically didn't tell her to sabotage her which is I'm guessing what happened. Isabel asks for a cup of coffee and Jackie says she doesn't have any. She must be the only adult in the country not to have coffee in her house! Though, granted, I don't keep coffee in my apartment. (What's the point when both Starbucks and Scooters are less than five minutes from where you live?) 

You can tell there's already tension between Isabel and Anna because when the kids go upstairs to get ready for school, Anna is glaring at her. I thought she was still mad at Isabel about the previous night, but when Jackie asks her what happened, Isabel tells her that Anna saw her and Luke in the shower that morning when she "sort of walked in without even knocking." Who goes into a bathroom without knocking when the door is closed? And didn't Anna hear the shower running? I completely blame this on Anna...she's old enough to know better. Jackie wants to know if either her or Luke talked to Anna about it afterwards and Isabel tells her no, that she thought it would be uncomfortable for her and Jackie responds, "You mean for you." Uh, if I were Anna, I wouldn't want anyone to bring up me walking in on my dad with his girlfriend in the shower. No, I don't need to have a "conversation" about that; I'd rather just pretend it never happened! 

The two women start arguing and Jackie tells Isabel she could never be a mother because she is so self-involved and Isabel tells her maybe the problem is Anna and that "she is a spoiled, wiseass little brat." Look, I don't disagree with Isabel, but maybe not the best thing to say to the girl's mother. Of course, this pisses off Jackie and she tells Isabel to get out of her house. 

The next Saturday afternoon, both the kids are with Isabel in Central Park at a professional photo shoot because both their parents are busy. Isabel is shooting a woman with a long blonde braid wig (she is supposed to be Rapunzel) at Belvedere Castle in Central Park (I've been to Central Park and had no idea there was a "castle" there!). A guy in rock climbing gear is climbing up the castle wall, using her braid. I have no idea what product they're selling here. Rock climbing paraphernalia? I had to laugh when Ben tells his sister, "Wouldn't it be cool if her hair came out of her armpit?" That just seems like something a little boy would find "cool". Anna had the same reaction as I did; she looks disgusted and replies, "Sick." 

The kids start whining to Isabel that they're hungry. Apparently, they've been there for five hours! Good Lord, that is a long time! Isabel tosses Luke her coin purse and tells the kids to get some ice cream. We see time has elapsed and Anna has fallen asleep after eating her ice cream. Ben isn't with her and Isabel wakes Anna up, asking where he is. Anna doesn't know and a panicked Isabel starts screaming his name. (That has to be a terrifying situation to be in; my mind would go straight to the worst possible scenario). Anna thinks he may have been kidnapped (apparently, her mind also goes straight to the worst possible scenario), but Isabel assures her (but let's face its, she's trying to assure herself, mostly) that isn't the case; that "he's just hiding."

We never see Ben get found; but she must have called the police and they must have told them a police officer found him because Isabel and Ben's parents come rushing to the police station where he is sitting with some officers, showing them a magic trick. The police tell them they found him at the zoo. Isabel apologizes to Jackie, but she ignores her and tells Luke, "That woman is to have nothing more to do with my children" and Luke corrects her and says, "Our children." Jackie tells both of them she's getting a court order and that Isabel "will never be with these children alone again." I understand why she's so upset, but she's being a tad overdramatic. She must think the same thing because later, when Luke asks her not to go through with it, she tells him she's going to give him one last chance.

Soon after, Jackie is late picking up the kids from school. So late, in fact, that the school calls Isabel's place of work and ask if she can pick them up. The kids can't believe their mom forgot about them. Ben tells Isabel that's something she would do and Isabel tells them that's exactly what happened. She makes up a story about how their mom had to help a friend with an emergency and called to ask her to pick up the kids. Isabel says she got caught up at work and just forgot. At this moment, we see Jackie walk in and take the kids home. She looks at Isabel, but doesn't tell her thank you or anything. She and the kids just walk out of the school. 

Later, Jackie asks Isabel if she can watch the kids Saturday afternoon because she has an appointment. This appointment is a doctor's appointment and Jackie finds out she has cancer. She is meeting Luke at a restaurant and he tells her he has news too, so she tells him to go first. Clearly, she is procrastinating in telling him the news! Luke's news isn't too surprising. He tells Jackie he's going to ask Isabel to marry him and he wants her to be okay with it for the kids' sake. He knows if Jackie will be okay with it, so will the kids. When he asks what her news is, she says it was nothing and that they "have quite enough to deal with" just with his news. Yep, totally avoiding telling him! 

We see the proposal scene, then soon after we get a scene where Luke and Jackie tell the kids the news and they are not happy. (Interesting that it was Luke and Jackie telling them, and not Luke and Isabel, but I think this way does make more sense). Jackie tells her kids that Isabel isn't going to take her place as their mom (eh, that's debatable!) and Luke says, "Isabel's going to be in your life and hopefully you can learn to accept her." Jackie comforts her crying daughter, who really thought her parents would get back together (even though she is too old to think that would happen) and tells her life is unfair and full of hard choices, but she has a choice: "You can either take the hard things and make your life better or you can make it worse." She tells her to see the good side of Isabel and what she brings to her dad's life and to hers. This is showing real character growth for Jackie. 

So that is exactly what Anna does. Halloween soon rolls around and Ben is dressed as a wizard (or maybe he's dressed as a magician dressed as a wizard?) and Anna is dressed as Elvis. (Isn't sixth grade a little too old to still be trick-or-treating?) It is still broad daylight when they're trick or treating, so they must be doing this around 2 or 3 in the afternoon. I looked up to see what day Halloween was on in 1998 and it was on a Saturday, so they didn't have to worry about school, so they could have easily gone in the evening. This seems so weird to me...usually when kids trick or treat, it's already dark. I understand that they probably did it this way because it's probably more convenient to film during the day. Anna tells her mom she's been thinking about what she said about Isabel and to see the "good side" of her. Perhaps she took her mother's advice a little too well because she goes on about how Isabel knows all about "clothes and stuff" and that she knows "every rock 'n' roll song ever written" and she knows all the "cool junk food places to eat." She concludes with, "Once you get to know her, she's kinda cool." I can see a twelve-year-old girl being into a young, cool stepmom type who knows about clothes and junk food. The rock 'n' roll music? Eh, young kids wouldn't care about that. Now if Isabel knew about current music, then she would definitely be in with Anna. She tells her mom not to tell Isabel what she told her. Oh, Anna, I don't think you have to worry about that! 

Turns out Jackie is starting to feel a little insecure (and we get many instances of this) that when Anna drops the kids off at her house after picking them up from school, Jackie, right in front of Isabel, tells Anna that they are going to the Pearl Jam concert that night. After an excited Anna tells her mom she's the coolest and goes to get ready, Jackie tells Isabel, "That was a great idea, thanks." This is a low blow because Isabel had asked Jackie if she could take Anna to this concert and when Jackie found out it was on a Thursday night, she said absolutely not, she's too young for that. (I think she would've come up with an excuse not to let Isabel take her if it was on weekend night). I guess Jackie wasn't worried about it being on a school night; she just wanted her daughter to think she was the cool one. 

Jackie has started undergoing chemotherapy and she still hasn't told anyone about her illness. At Anna's soccer game, Isabel asks Jackie if she's feeling all right and says she looks a "little tired." Jackie tells her, "I hate when people say that. It's a polite way of telling you look like sh*t." Yes! This annoys me too! Especially if you're not tired when people tell you that! Luckily (er, maybe that's not the right word) I always AM tired so when people tell me that, it's usually because I am! Isabel tells her she's noticed she's been busy lately and asks her if she's seeing anyone. Jackie tells her she's been spending some time with her old boss and "trying to decide whether or not [she's] going back to Random House."

Jackie starts her chemotherapy treatment and isn't doing to well. She calls Isabel to tell her she got a call from Random House and they want her to come in that afternoon to meet with the editor. She won't be back in time to pick up Ben at a birthday party and asks Isabel if she get him and Isabel tells her she can. 

For some reason, when Isabel is driving down the highway, she has the window open.... even though it's November. And they're in New York. There's absolutely no reason why she should have the window rolled down, but they need to have her lose the piece of paper with the address she wrote down on it. She's holding it while she's also looking at the map and while she's messing with the map, the little piece of paper flies out the window. I also thought she was going to lose the map, but she doesn't. They need this to happen so she can call Random House to ask Jackie for the address, but only for her to find out that Jackie, in fact, is NOT there and the woman tells her she hasn't seen Jackie since she left Random House eleven years ago.

After Isabel drops Ben off at Jackie's (extremely exquisite) house (guess she was able to pick him up without the address!), Jackie goes inside with him, talking about the party and Isabel starts going through Jackie's mail which she had brought outside with her in a little sitting area in the yard while she waited for Ben to come home. While Isabel is rifling through it (shame, shame!), she finds someone from Random House has typed her a note that says, "Can't wait to see you here. I know you're anxious, but it's going to be wonderful. Everything will work out perfectly." She also finds round trip airline tickets to Los Angeles. She puts the mail back before Jackie returns, but quickly confronts her and tells her she knows her secret. There's a moment of surprise that passes over Jackie's face and she's probably wondering how Isabel knows she has cancer, but in the same breath, Isabel tells her she saw the note and the airline tickets and that she knows she's not working at Random House in New York. She accuses Jackie of taking the kids and moving to L.A. At this point, I'm confused because while I don't know why she's going to L.A., I know she's not moving across the country for a new job. I get even more confused when Jackie pretty much confirms Isabel's suspicions when she tells her she thought she would have loved this because "you lose the witch and her two little brats in one swoop. Simplifies everything. You get your life back." The two argue back and forth: Isabel tells her there's plenty of publishing houses in New York she can get a job at and Jackie tells her it's called "bi-coastal parenting" and that Luke will get the kids every other holiday and one month in the summer and adds, "It's not ideal, but it works." Gee, that sounds awful! I'm not sure what their arrangement is now, but it seems like the kids are with their mom during the week and their dad on weekends, and while I don't know how far away their parents live from each other, it's sure a hell of a lot closer than flying across the entire country! I've flown across only half the country and that felt long to me! Isabel tells her she can't take Luke's kids away from him; that "We can't live like that!" Jackie questions the "we" and tells her it's not her problem and that Luke should talk to her (Jackie). Isabel disagrees and tells her she's going to marry Luke and they're going to share their life together. As she tells Jackie, "His kids are everything to him and he would be devastated not to be near them." 

So after all this, Jackie tells her she's wrong about everything and explains a colleague of hers wrote the note. This colleague now lives in L.A. and Jackie will be staying with her while she gets protein injections that were recommended by her oncologist and you can only get them in L.A. Needless to say, Isabel is shocked to learn that Jackie has cancer and asks her if she's dying and Jackie replies, "Not today."  

Can we go back to that note for one second? The one that Jackie's colleague wrote to her that said, "Everything will work out perfectly." This seems very weird to write to someone who has cancer. (I'm assuming the friend knew why she was coming to L.A.) Why would you tell someone who has cancer that "Everything will work out perfectly."? (Spoiler alert: it doesn't). That seems a little...presumptuous to assume that. 

Now that Isabel knows about Jackie's cancer, she really has no choice but to tell Luke and together, they tell the kids. Anna is angry that her mom never told her about it until now even though she's known about it for a long time. Luke defends her and says she wanted to "wait until the right time" and Jackie tells them she didn't want to scare them and wanted to wait until her sickness was "smaller." Anna says that Isabel should be with them because it's Thursday and that's her day to pick them up. Ben says he'd rather be with his mom and Anna (quite harshly) tells him their mom is dying and Isabel is their new mom now (not quite yet, Anna, hold your horses!) She accuses her mother of lying to her and how she can never trust her again. When she runs upstairs, her dad tells her, "You do not run out on your mother!", she stops, turns around, looks back at him, and replies, "No, that's your job." Ooh, harsh burn! I audibly gasped when she said that. 

So later that evening, after Anna has had time to process everything and after Luke has left, we get the scene where Jackie dances and lip synchs to "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" with her kids. Like I mentioned earlier, this is the only scene from the movie I remembered. 

During the kids' school's Thanksgiving pageant (it's kinda weird that Anna and Ben attend the same school since he's in elementary school and she should be in middle school, though technically I guess sixth grade (I'm pretty sure that's the grade she was in) could still be elementary school, but by 1998, that seemed kind of passé), Isabel tells Jackie that Anna's been "going out" with the "class heartthrob", Brad, for two weeks. For the record, Brad looks like a low-rent Devon Sawa. Very low-rent Devon Sawa. That day, during lunch, he publicly announced he was breaking up with her. Isabel knows all this because Anna told her when she picked her up from school that afternoon. She also told Isabel she cried in the bathroom (aw, poor thing) and she didn't tell her mom because she didn't want her making a big deal out of it. Isabel is telling Jackie all of this because Anna asked Isabel what she should do and Isabel told her she should talk to her mom and gives notice to Jackie that Anna's going to ask her tomorrow so she should be ready. 

The next day is Thanksgiving and as Jackie and Anna are setting the table, Anna tells her mom what she told Isabel yesterday and the reason Brad is breaking up with her is because she didn't let him kiss her with her mouth open (and before you ask, yes, Jackie did ask her if she let him kiss her with her mouth closed and Anna just gives her mom a look) and apparently Brad told his little minion friends this because every time they saw her, they would call her names like "Ice Princess." Hell, I would embrace a name like that. Makes you sound cool like you're Daenerys Targaryen. She says she retaliates and calls Brad names like "fart face" and Jackie's advice for her is that she should just ignore him. Since all he wants is the attention and once he doesn't get it, "he might try a little harder, but then he'll get frustrated and give up." Anna asks her mom if she thinks that's what Isabel would do and slightly throws shades at her mother when she tells her, "She's younger. Maybe she remembers how to do this." Hmm, I think Anna wanted Isabel's advice on this all along. To be fair, she DID ask for Isabel's advice and she was the one who told Anna to talk to her mom. 

So a few day later, when Isabel picks up the kids from school (she's late because she was working), she sees they're the only ones waiting outside and Anna is crying. After Isabel tells Ben to wait in the car, she asks Anna what happened and she tells her that her mom told her to ignore Brad, which she did, and he called her "Frosty the Snow Bitch" (remember, Christmas is right around the corner) in front of everyone. This kid really needs to be smacked. Preferably twice. Isabel says she has an idea, but Anna snivels and tells her no thanks, that she doesn't need advice from a stepmother (again, she's technically not their stepmother yet). Isabel says she has a choice: cry about it or do something about it. Anna chooses the latter and they go to a diner where Isabel hatches her plan: Monday after school she'll walk up to Brad "with attitude" and tell him "I'm not going to waste my time with some loser who doesn't even know what snowblowing is." Anna interrupts her to ask her what that means and she tells her, "It's a disgusting and not even remotely sexy thing" she once heard described in a movie she'd never take her to. My first thought was, is this movie Nine and a Half Weeks or Basic Instinct? I've never seen either of them but I know they're highly sexual, but I'm guessing she's talking about a fictional movie. Actually, I lied. That was not my first thought. I also wondered what snowblowing is and I don't know if this is a real thing and to be honest, I'm too scared to look it up on urban dictionary because if it is a real thing (which wouldn't surprise me), I am sure Isabel is telling the truth when she says its "disgusting" and frankly, I would rather not know! Please, let me remain in my ignorant bliss. Even if it wasn't something in 1998, I'm sure it became something (and this movie can take credit for it....but, uh, that's probably not something to be proud of!) 

Isabel continues and tells her after she says that, Anna will walk away, whip back around and say, "The guy I see is in high school and he laughs his ass off whenever we talk about you." She adds that there will be a "suitable boy" with "a very expensive bike" (she's talking about a moped, not a bicycle, for the record). "Suitable boy" makes me laugh because it makes it sound like she's going to find an average-looking boy, at best. Isabel does clear things up when she tells Anna, "He will be a stone fox, even if I have to call an escort service." Okay, eww, I hope she's joking because it is highly inappropriate (and some might even say illegal) to have a guy from an escort service flirt with a twelve-year-old girl. It's a good thing Jackie wasn't privy to this conversation! Also, consdering that Isabel is a fashion photographer, she has ample access to many good-looking (and hopefully age appropriate) male models to play the role of "Anna's new hot older boyfriend." 

So Monday afternoon rolls around and Isabel is standing by her car pretty much spying on Anna and Brad and everything that goes down between them. We know she's not even supposed to be there to pick up the kids because she's surprised when Jackie shows up and asks her what she's doing there and Jackie tells her she's there to pick up her kids. (Duh, Isabel!) So they're both watching Anna performing the skit that Isabel thought up for her and after she tells off Brad, she walks over to the bike rack and hugs a good-looking young male mode and he kisses her (well, it's more like a peck on the cheek). I would say he was no older than sixteen so at least he looked age appropriate. Still a little weird that a high schooler would date a girl who attends elementary school (or even middle school, but considering both Anna and Ben were waiting for Isabel outside the school together makes me think they attend the same school, unless one of their schools is nearby and the other walked to this school to wait for Isabel together...but I think I'm giving way too much thought about this and both kids go to the same school, thus making Anna a sixth grader who attends elementary school and it's super weird that a good-looking high school boy (or any high schooler) for that matter would ever date someone in elementary school). The more I write about this, the more I understand why Jackie was so upset! 

All of Brad's friends are ribbing him, calling him a "loser" and he just looks like an idiot with his mouth hanging open. Yeah, he doesn't look so hot compared to that male model! Jackie asks Isabel, "Who is that? He looks familiar. He looks like that guy in his underwear for Calvin Klein." Isabel corrects her, "Fully dressed for Ralph Lauren." Ha! I wouldn't be surprised if Jackie was right and he was also in the CK ad. After the male model gives Anna another peck on the cheek, she runs up to Isabel and hugs her, exclaiming, "It worked! It worked!" She should have at least pretended to leave with the model, but Brad did leave first, so I guess he wouldn't have seen anything. 

Of course, Jackie wants to know what's going on, so Isabel has to tell her what happened and she and Jackie get into a fight about the advice Isabel gave Anna. Jackie is not happy about certain words Isabel told Anna to use and the fact that she lied about having a boyfriend. Yeah, but she only lied to her lame, jerky ex and his equally lame minions, so I don't think she should be getting upset about that. Isabel asks her what she has done and Jackie replies, "You have turned her into you" and Isabel tells her she is trying and the she has the children's "best interests at heart." 

After their fight, they meet later at a restaurant and Jackie admits she lost Ben in the grocery store a year ago. Isabel confesses that she feels inferior compared to Jackie about being a mother; that she will never live up to her. Jackie has the history with the kids. Isabel talks about the future with Anna's wedding. She'll be in a room with Anna helping her with her dress and telling her how beautiful she is and she fears that Anna will be thinking, "I wish my mom was here." Jackie tells her that her fear is that Anna WON'T be thinking that. Then she says, "The truth is, she doesn't have to choose. She can have us both. Love us both. She will be a better person because of me. And because of you." She says that she has their past and Isabel can have their future. Susan Sarandon is crying, Julia Roberts is crying, I'M crying! OMG, the tears are flowing everywhere! 

The last scene takes place on Christmas and everyone is celebrating at Jackie's (astonishingly enchanting) house. In an earlier scene, her doctor had told her the chemotherapy hadn't worked but there are other options available like treatment in Paris or Switzerland. Jackie tells her she wants to spend what time she has left at home with her family. We aren't given a time frame of how exactly how much time she has left, but I think it's pretty apparent that this will be her last Christmas and it's so sad! 

Isabel, Luke, and the kids are downstairs and Jackie is upstairs in her room where she has requested some time alone with each kid separately so they can open their present and essentially have a "good-bye" scene with her. I was confused at first and thought maybe she was too weak to come downstairs to spend Christmas with the rest of the family, but that isn't the case. She just wants to have some quality time alone with each of her kids, then she will come downstairs. 

Ben goes upstairs first and Jackie has made him a magician's cape that have pictures of them together patched onto it. Ben asks his mom if she's dying and is sad that he won't see her anymore. She tells him since he's a magician he should know the secret of "just because you don't see something, doesn't mean it's not there", alluding to she'll always be with him inside and his heart and that they can still meet inside his dreams. He says it's not the same thing, which he is right! Before he leaves, he asks her to make sure his dad knows how to double knot his sneakers the way she does for school in the morning. Jackie says she will and looks so sad. It's so sad because he knows she won't always be around to do that! 

Anna comes in with a cup of tea for her mom and opens her present: a quilt Jackie has made with pictures of them together. She tells her daughter, "It's like a scrapbook you can keep warm with." Things start to get real when Anna asks her mom if she's scared and Jackie replies that she was mostly scared for her (Anna), but isn't anymore because she knows she's going to be okay. This shows real growth of the relationship between her and Isabel. Mother and daughter have a nice heart to heart, then Anna tells her, "I don't want to say goodbye. I'm going to miss you so much!" Oh, God, and here come the waterworks again!

Everyone (including Jackie) is downstairs opening the other gifts and Isabel is taking pictures. There's an earlier montage in the movie where she was taking photos of Jackie with her kids - reading to them, riding horses, ice skating, so it's nice that they'll have these memories of their mom's last moments to look back on. Isabel has the kids sits on the couch with their parents and takes their photo. Then Jackie says, "Let's get one with the whole family. Isabel?" and invites her to sit on the couch with them and Isabel sets the timer on her camera and the movie ends. And I'm probably still crying! 

Oh, in case you were wondering, here is a picture of the house I keep raving about. It's located in Nyack, New York and it only costs a little over 3 million! Luke and Jackie must have been making really good money if they could afford that! I wish I could create that house on Sims 3 (yes, I still play Sims 3; I could care less about Sims 4!), but I majorly suck at building things so that will never happen!