Sister Act

Big Business
Director: Jim Abrahams
Cast: Bette Midler and Lily Tomlin
Released: June 10, 1988

This '80s comedy has a plot that's a little inconceivable, but it's more believable, than, say, Armageddon. We start out with a rich couple who are being chauffeured through a really small town when the woman goes into labor (after complaining to her husband that she didn't want to go on this trip because she's "40 months pregnant") and the closest hospital is a small one three miles away. At the same time, another woman from Jupiter Hollows, the small town closest to the country hospital, is also giving birth at the same hospital. 

Both women give birth to twin girls. The country man overhears the rich man say he wants to call their daughters Rose and Sadie and he suggests the same name to his wife. Because there were so many babies being born at the same time, the nurse gets confused and accidentally mismatches the twins so the rich parents go home with one of their own daughters and one of the daughters of the country folk and vice versa.

Flashforward about 40 years later in the '80s where we meet both set of twins. The rich twins live in New York and own a large company they inherited from their father. Sadie (Midler) is the biological daughter and she has no problem with being rich and ordering people around and feels more in her element while Rose (Tomlin) is always flustered and confesses that she hates shopping and New York in June. 

The Ratliffs, the country twins who grew up in Jupiter Hollows, are a reverse of the other twins with Rose being the more confident one, as she is their biological daughter and Sadie feeling like a fish out of water in this small town she grew up in. 

It turns out that the corporation the rich twins work for is trying to tear down Jupiter Hollows, so the Ratliff twins travel to New York to try to stop them. Many hijinx ensue including the rich twins' chauffeur picking up the country twins at the airport in the limo (the twins he knew were also there to pick up somebody) and he's confused when they both act like they've never been in a limo before (because, of course, they hadn't!) Both sets of twins are staying at the Plaza Hotel and the concierge is flabbergasted when Sadie is acting nice to him one minute, then being a total bitch the next. 

Country Rose's boyfriend comes out to New York to propose to her, but of course he ends up proposing to city Rose and country Rose ends up with city Rose's boyfriend. 

Here's a fun fact: Seth Green plays city Sadie's son. I saw his name in the credits, but even if I hadn't seen it, I would have easily recognized him.

There's an amusing scene where both Sadies are in the bathroom and think they're looking into a mirror at first, then realize there's no mirror and  both of them freak out. 

So yeah, this movie is kinda stupid, but both Milder and Tomlin yuk it up and there are a few laughs for a good time. 

Nostalgia Redux

Super 8
Director: J.J. Abrams
Cast: Joel Courtney, Kyle Chandler, Elle Fanning
Released: June 10, 2011
Viewed in theaters: June 14, 2011

In a summer full of sequels and comic-book adaptations, Super 8 is a small gem to be found among those blockbusters and will most likely get lost in the shuffle, but if you want a fun and suspenseful summer flick reminiscent of Speilberg-esque supernatural movies such as E.T. or Close Encounters of the Third Kind and coming-to-age films like Stand By Me with a little bit of The Goonies thrown in for good measure, then I can't recommend Super 8 enough.

The movie takes place in the summer of 1979 and is centered around a group of middle school-aged kids from a small town in Ohio who are making a zombie movie to enter in their town's film festival. What I like about the cast is that they are actually the age one would be in middle school and they act like normal kids, none of that precocious, cutesy kid stuff you see from so many annoying child actors. I also like the fact that the dialogue doesn't seem to be written by a Kevin Willimason or Diablo Cody-type and there are no lines that are trying to be clever or witty. They're just normal kids who are friends and that's why you believe. Even though they're all really cute kids, I also like that they're not all perfect-looking like they just came from the Disney channel.

Goonies 2011!

Joe (newcomer Joel Courtney) is the main character who's Dad (Chandler) is the local sheriff. He lost his mother in a horrible accident only four months ago and is trying to cope with the loss. He works on the lights and the make-up for the film and has a crush on Alice (Elle Fanning) who agrees to play the leading lady in their film. This was the first time I've seen Dakota's little sister in a film and it was weird to hear her speak because I was expecting this high-pitched, girly voice to come out of her, but her voice was lower than I was expecting. Alice's dad is an alcoholic and he and Joe's dad don't get along because he was somewhat responsible for Joe's mother's death. Neither Joe's or Alice's dad allow them to be friends so they have to sneak around to hang out with each other. Charles is the requisite fat kid who directs the movie and also has a crush on Alice. Cary is the kid with the straggly blond hair and in need of braces with an affinity for fireworks and explosions who plays the lead zombie. Martin is the tall, awkward kid with glasses who plays the lead character and Preston is the wimpy kid who's always saying his heart is beating too fast and refuses to go with the gang when they decide to do something risky.

One night, while shooting a scene near the train tracks, they witness a horrific train crash, which, believe me, even if you don't like the movie, you will get your money's worth just for that scene alone. It is one intense scene. After that, some crazy stuff starts to go down. There's a monster that we don't see fully until the end of the movie, but we do see glimpses of it and when it's rustling in the trees, it reminded me of Jurassic Park and the smoke monster from Lost. Even though it was an integral part of the movie, I much preferred the coming-of-age angle rather than the monster angle. I didn't quite understand the whole story with the monster, but I had a "medium" Wild Cherry Pepsi (really, it looked more like a large!) and had to use the bathroom. I went after the kids get caught sneaking in the school, so maybe I missed some important plot points while I was gone. Oh, I also had Twizzlers and the kids eat Twizzlers during the beginning of the film. Shoutout!

Even though I wasn't around in '79, this movie has a very nostalgic feel to it. I am familiar with movies and TV shows and have seen family photos from around that time, so I was familiar with the "look" of that era. The soundtrack is great! Kids back then listened to way better music than kids do today. Granted, the only songs I remember in the movie are "Don't Bring Me Down" and "My Sharona". One of the podcasts I listen to (Extra Hot Great - I highly recommend it) talked about Super 8 and someone pointed out that the mentioned Rubik's Cube and the shown Walkman didn't actually appear on the market until the early months of the early '80s, but according to the Wiki, the Walkman was first available in the summer of '79.

Now how could have I gone this long in this review without mentioning the lens flare? I've seen/heard several people bitch about the lens flare, but honestly I only noticed it in that one scene where the kids are getting ready to film by the train tracks. It was blue and it was very distracting and noticeable and I kept asking myself, "What the hell is that? What are those blue lights? What does it mean?" Then when I kept hearing about the lens flare, I knew exactly what they were talking about. If it was in any other part of the movie, I didn't notice it, though.

The end of the movie made me choke up and there's a scene that reminded me of Titanic. If you've seen the movie, you know exactly what I'm talking about! (And if you've seen Titanic, of course, which I'm sure you have.) They show the kids' homemade movies during the end credits (about two minutes in so don't get up and leave right when the credits start) and let's just say they are much better filmmakers than that idiot in Cloverfield with his damn shaky camera who was twice their age!

Somewhere Out There...

An American Tail
Director: Don Bluth
Voice Talent: Phillip Glasser, Christopher Plummer, Madeline Kahn, Dom DeLuise
Released: November 21, 1986

Oscar nominations:
Best Song - "Somewhere Out There" (lost to "Take My Breath Away" from Top Gun)

This animated non-Disney film is a childhood classic for me. I had seen it numerous times as a kid and it's possible I saw it in the theaters, but if I did, I don't remember. I hadn't seen it in a very, very, very long time, though and it still holds up even though the animation isn't as good as the animated movies you see today or even as good as Beauty and the Beast which came out five years later. However, there is something about the grainy animation that adds to the nostalgia of the film.

The film starts out in Russia where the Mousekewitz family live. The Mousekewitzes are a family of - you guessed it - mice. There's Mama, Daddy, Fievel, Tanya, and a baby mouse that we inexplicably never see again after a couple of scenes. They are immigrating to America with other mice from foreign lands because "there are no cats in America and the streets are paved with cheese!"

On the boat, there's a huge storm and Fievel gets swept off and separated from his family who thinks he's now dead. Only his sister believes that he might still be alive and of course he is because this is a children's film, after all! Fievel ends up in a glass bottle that floats him to a nearly finished Statue of Liberty (this takes place in 1885) where he meets a pigeon who advises  him "never say never!" when Fievel forlornly tells him he's never going to find his family.

Poor Fievel. He can't find his family and he finds out that there are indeed cats in America.

On his search for his family, Fievel meets other characters including Tony, a mouse a bit older than him who tells him to stick close because he knows how to get around in the city, Bridget; a girl mouse who fights for mice rights against cats and who Tony has a crush on; Gussie Mausheimer, a rich mouse advocate who wants to have a "ra-wee" concerning the cat problem. (That would be rally.) He also meets a shady fellow named Warren T. Rat, a cat disguised as a rat who is trying to take all the mice's money. He becomes friends with Tiger, a cat who is a vegetarian and would like to be friends with mice.

I didn't remember anything at all from this movie, but the one thing I did remember is when Fievel and his sister are singing "Somewhere Out There" from different locations at the same time. Of course these were little kids singing, so their voices weren't that great, but it was really cute and heart-wrenching - I teared up a little!  I love the radio version of the song and believe it should have won the Oscar over "Take My Breath Away".

The Negotiator

The Negotiator
Director: F. Gary Gray
Cast: Samuel L. Jackson, Kevin Spacey, Ron Rifkin, David Morse, J.T. Walsh, Paul Giamatti, John Spencer
Released: July 29, 1998

I had seen The Negotiator about twelve years ago, but hadn't seen it since, so while I remembered the general plot, I didn't remember who was revealed as the bad guy in the end. Danny Roman (Jackson) deals with hostage situations and the film begins with one where he's trying to talk a crazy man from shooting his daughter. You see that he is very skilled at his job and knows how to talk to people to get them to do certain things and the tables are soon turned when he finds his partner has been murdered. Roman is framed for his partner's murder (unfortunately he just so happened to be at the scene when the police arrived because his partner had asked to meet him at this location). Roman knows that someone on the inside had his partner murdered because his partner had information that would implicate this certain someone.

Roman decides to take matters into his own hand and ends up taking the Internal Affairs office of a government building hostage because he knows that's where he'll find something that will disprove his guilt. For some reason I thought he had taken many people hostage, but the only people he's holding is Niebaum (Walsh), the man who he believes knows the truth about who murdered his partner, Neibaum's secretary, a shady fellow played by a pre-famous Giamatti who provides the comic relief, and a cop (Rifkin) who works with Roman. He also takes two more police officers when they come in through the window.

Because Roman is a negotiator, he knows all the tricks his team has planned to get him out of the building and tells them he will only talk to Chris Sabian, another skilled negotiator who works with another police department in Chicago. He believes Sabian is the only one who will be able to understand and help him and he knows Sabian has had a great record as a negotiator with no deaths. Sabian is played by Spacey and he doesn't show up until forty-five minutes into the movie which seems like quite a long time for your second lead to appear in a movie!

As one might expect, there's plenty of finger-biting moments, especially during one scene when Roman is talking to a fumbling police officer while they're waiting for Sabian to appear on the scene. The police officer keeps saying the wrong things to Roman who points this out to him and threatens to kill someone the next time the officer says "no" and Roman keeps baiting him and asking him questions where it's impossible to say "no". (Such as "Have you ever cheated on your wife?)

We know one of the cops on the scene is the one who had Roman's partner killed and is framing Roman. The obvious one would be the one played by Morse because it was established early in the film that he wasn't particularly fond of the way Roman handled the hostage situation and he demands that they take a shot at him every time they have a way to take down Roman. He just seemed too obvious to be the one who was the mole so I knew it wasn't him.

It's kind of funny because when I first saw this movie the only actors I knew were Samuel L. Jackson and Kevin Spacey and I was familiar with some of David Morse's work, but that was about it. Now when I watched it a second time, I recognized a lot more people: Paul Giamatti, of course, along with a bunch of actors I recognized from TV: Arvin Sloan from Alias, Leo McGarry from The West Wing, Walter White's brother-in-law from Breaking Bad, Detective Jim Brass (he played the murdered partner) and the coroner guy from CSI. They're all in this movie.

While I think this movie is great and highly recommend it, there is something that bothers me: I understand that Roman wanted to clear his name and see who was really behind all of this, but he had to know that holding people hostage at gunpoint (and not to mention causing some major property damage) wasn't going to be taken lightly and most likely he would have been sent to jail for that, but the movie just ends with him finding out who the bad guy is and going to the hospital for his injuries. I guess he got immunity since he was framed...I don't know...well, it's a good movie nonetheless!

It's On Like Donkey Kong

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
Director: Seth Gordon
Released: August 17, 2007

If you ever fear you have no life, just pop this movie in your DVD player and you will see a whole bunch of people who truly have no life. Now even though I just insulted pretty much everybody in this movie, I will say I did find it hellava entertaining and fascinating. This documentary follows two people: Billy Mitchell who is the Donkey Kong champion (of the world!) and got the first highest score for it back in 1982. He's since scored over a million points. There's also Steve Wiebe, a middle school science teacher who, during a time when he was unemployed, decided he was going to try to beat Mitchell's score and did achieve this in 1999.

Wiebe videotaped his gameplay and sent it to some place in Iowa (of all places!) that apparently records scores for video game play. There, one of the workers had to watch the hours of Donkey Kong gameplay to make sure Wiebe didn't use any cheat codes and can verify his score is legit. The same guy also mentioned he had over two hundred video tapes to watch of other games. Wow, if I had a job like that, I would kill myself. No, I really would. I can't think of anything more boring and monotonous. Just imagine having to watch hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours...(okay, you get the idea) of footage of video games and having to pay attention to every little detail. Ugh... And I mean, does anyone really give a crap about who holds the highest score for a certain game? I certainly have never heard of Billy Mitchell before I saw this, but I digress...

When it's verified that Wiebe did beat Mitchell's score, he gets lots of press for it in Seattle. (And if there was any national press about it, I certainly don't remember it.) However, his score is revoked when people (you could say they're Team Billy) cried foul and said there was something amiss about Steve's arcade machine. This was a part of the movie I really didn't understand and it seemed a little fishy that fanboys of Billy were trying to get Steve's score disqualified... Seriously, get a life...

So Steve's score doesn't count and Billy returns as the Donkey Kong champ, but Steve goes to some video game convention and beats Billy's score live, but Billy sends in a videotape of him reaching over a million points and it goes on and on. In fact, I believe the movie ended with Steve having the highest Donkey Kong score at the time the movie was wrapped, but one of the special features on the DVD continues with Billy and Steve alternating the highest score. I think Billy has the highest score now and I could look it up, but I honestly don't really care.

As for Donkey Kong, I don't think I've ever played it. It's possible I played it when I was really young and don't remember. The only games I remember playing in the arcade were Super Mario Bros. (the old school one!) and Pac-Man. I do remember playing Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat a couple times, but I would get my ass kicked in five seconds.

If you're a Donkey Kong/ arcade game aficionado, you will really enjoy this movie and even if you aren't, you'll still get a kick out of it.

I hate Twilight...

Here's to the Hair

Tangled
Directors: Nathan Greno and Bryan Howard
Voice Talent: Mandy Moore, Zachary Levi, Donna Murphy
Released: November 24, 2010

Oscar nominations:
Best Song - "I See the Light" by Alan Menken and Glenn Slater (lost to "We Belong Together" by Randy Newman from Toy Story 3)

I remember seeing a trailer for this movie the summer before it came out (probably one of the trailers I saw before Toy Story 3) and I couldn't help thinking how awful the film looked. Not the animation (that's gorgeous), but the actual movie. All the trailer showed was the main guy character getting beat up and whipped by the long, blonde hair that belongs to the main female character. I immediately thought it was going to be one of those slapstick animated comedies that only cater to kids who have a five-second attention span and thought it would fail at the box office.

Well that goes to show you should never judge a movie by its trailer because after hearing positive reviews and people recommending the movie, I decided to watch it and see it if was good as everyone was saying, and what do you know? It was actually really good and quite an enjoyable movie. In fact, that dumb extended scene they showed as a trailer was cut down in the movie.

Mandy Moore and Zachary Levi (the guy from Chuck - yeah, I don't watch that show either) voice the two leads, Rapunzel and Flynn Rider. I'm not really familiar with the fairy tale of Rapunzel. All I know is that she has really long hair and lives in a tower, so I have no idea how close this movie stayed true to the original material.

Rapunzel is a seventeen-year-old girl who has lived in a tall tower for mostly her entire life with a woman (voiced by Donna Murphy) who has raised her as her daughter, but she is not actually Rapunzel's real mother. She kidnapped Rapunzel as a baby because the girl's hair has a magical power that made the woman appear youthful. Rapunzel has never been allowed to leave the tower and no one has ever been able to get in. For her eighteenth birthday, Rapunzel begs her mother to let her out on her birthday because she wants to explore the world and so she can inspect the "stars" she sees every year on her birthday (which are really Chinese lanterns that her real parents light every year in hope that their daughter will find them and return home). Her mother refuses and Rapunzel comes up with a plan that will make her mother have to go to the village and will be gone for three days.

Meanwhile, Rapunzel meets Flynn Rider and has information that he needs. She strikes a deal with him: if he takes her to the lights, she'll give him the information he needs, so they set out on their adventure. Of course Rapunzel's mother finds out that her daughter has escaped and tries everything she can to make sure Rapunzel never makes it to her real parents and finds out the truth.

One of my favorite scenes was a montage right after Rapunzel has escaped from her home and the scenes keep alternating from her being really happy and enjoying being free to her feeling really guilty about disobeying her mother and telling Flynn that she should go back home.

The animation is beautiful, the story is a lot of fun, and the ending even made me tear up a little. Not at all a bad movie. It should have been nominated for Best Animated Picture along with Toy Story 3 and How To Train Your Dragon.

Maid of Dishonor

Bridesmaids
Director: Paul Feig
Cast: Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Melissa McCarthy
Released: May 13, 2011
Viewed in theaters: May 19, 2011

Melissa McCarthy, Ellie Kemper, Rose Byrne, Wendi
McLendon-Covey, Maya Rudolph, and Kristen Wiig

This movie has been referred to as "the female Hangover" which I guess I can understand because, much like The Hangover, Bridesmaids is a R-rated raunchy comedy that takes place before a wedding but stars all women instead of men. Of course, there is more to this movie than just laughs and dirty jokes.

Annie (Wiig) is at a point in her life where nothing seems to be going right for her. Her bakery has gone out of business and she now (unsuccessfully)  sells jewelry, she's seeing a guy who's only using her for sex, and when her best friend Lillian (Rudolph) tells her she's getting married she starts to compete with Lillian's new friend from work, Helen (Byrne), for the attention of the bride.

There are plenty of funny moments, but they still remind us of just how insecure Annie is and how she wants to be known as Lillian's closest friend. When a party is thrown for the newly engaged couple, Annie gives a little toast to Lillian, then Helen steps in and overshadows her toast with a much better one and Annie steps up to the mike again to "say a few more words." This goes on for quite a while with each woman trying to one up the other until they're both singing to Lillian.

Moments before disaster...

The one scene that makes it extremely raunchy and had everyone in my audience laughing was when they went to a very chic bridal gown shop where you need a reservation to get in and the dresses that are eight hundred dollars are the ones on sale. Right before, Annie had taken everyone to a Brazilian restaurant and everyone except Helen became sick because they ate the meat. They all get food poisoning as they're wearing their expensive gowns and have to race for the one-toilet elegant bathroom. I'll let your imagination take it from there. It is a gross scene, but it's not as graphic as it could have been, thank goodness!

As the movie goes on, Annie continues to resent Lillian's and Helen's friendship more and more and ruins all of Lillian's big pre-wedding events. They don't even make it to Vegas for a bachelorette party due to her acting up on the plane after taking some pills Helen gave her that would calm her down. (I loved it when she called the flight attendant "Stove" (his name was obviously Steve) and declared she could do anything she wanted because, "this is the '90s!")

Her biggest rock-bottom moment was when she exploded at Lillian after Helen told her she was taking Lillian to Paris to get her wedding dress and Annie started going ballistic and vandalizing all the decorations. Because of this and her behavior, she was not allowed to take home a puppy as a party favor. (Yes, a puppy!)

Interwoven in the movie is a subplot where Annie meets an Irish cop who encourages her to go back to baking her cupcakes because he had been to her bakery before it closed. There's also a few funny scenes with Annie and her two roommates, siblings from England. There was really no need for them, but I did laugh when Annie found out the sister had been reading her diary and she replied, "I didn't know it was your diary! I thought it was a really depressing handwritten book!" Oh, I'm going to have to use that excuse if I ever get caught reading someone's diary... It was also funny when the brother told Annie they they were kicking her out because they thought it was weird that "two siblings were living together with a flatmate."

The film is a little on the long side (a little over two hours, they probably could have easily trimmed it), and it's not necessary to see on the big screen, but I would recommend renting it or putting it on your Netflix queue when it's available on DVD. Oh, and if you love the Wilson Phillips song, "Hold On", you will get a kick out of the wedding!

Class of '99

10 Things I Hate About You
Director: Gil Junger
Cast: Julia Stiles, Heath Ledger, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Larisa Oleynik, Andrew Keegan, Larry Miller, Allison Janney
Released: March 31, 1999
Viewed in theaters: April 17, 1999

This is my tenth and final teen movie that came out when I was a teen. And I decided to save the best for last. Or, at least, my favorite. Have I seen this movie as many times as the number in the title? Definitely, if not more. Can I recite the lines verbatim? Pretty close, pretty close.

I love this movie so much, I think, because I have such fond memories of it. This is the movie that introduced millions of teenaged girls to Heath Ledger and I can attest that any female who was in high school/college when this movie was released has definitely seen this movie. I mean, who didn't swoon when he serenaded Julia Stiles on the bleachers? I remember when I was in college and this was one of the movies we watched for movie night in our dorm's lobby. There were, like, 25 girls and only 3 guys and of course all the girls had already seen the movie. Hilarious. I remember all the girls were being all fan-girlish when Heath walked into Club Skunk wearing leather pants and of course, when he sang Can't Take My Eyes Off of You. 

Best scene ever! 

Tommy Solomon and Alex Mack:
Cutest Couple

Here's a quick plot synopsis: Cameron (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is the new kid at school and he wants to go out with Bianca Stratford (Larisa Oleynik - I have no idea how to say her last name; I've always pronounced it "oily neck" but I don't think that's right! ) who isn't  allowed to date because of her father's strict rules, but he tells her she can date when her older sister, Kat (Julia Stiles), does. Only problem is nobody likes Kat because she's a "heinous bitch" who hates everybody at her school. Joey Donner (Andrew Keegan) is the school's part-time model and full-time douche bag who also wants to date Bianca so he can "score" with her. Cameron and his friend Michael try to recruit somebody who will be brave enough to take Kat out and they enlist the mysterious Patrick Verona (Ledger) who has a questionable reputation. They then get Joey to pay Patrick to take Kat out so he  can go out with Bianca, then tell Patrick that they are doing this for Cameron and not for Joey because he's only a pawn. So while Joey's paying Patrick a hundred bucks a date, Cameron and Michael are gathering intel from Bianca about her sister which they in turn give to Patrick so he can get on her good side and she'll want to go out with him. It makes more sense when you watch the movie, trust me.

I don't think Kat and Patrick would have ever made it as a couple in real life. She was insulted when he didn't kiss her back in the car, but I have to side with him because he didn't want to take advantage of her being so drunk, then after he sang to her and everything was looking good again, they got into a fight about going to prom and he said that she needed therapy. I sided with her because that's just not cool. Then Kat decides to forgive him and they go to prom and that's when the big secret is revealed and she finds out that he was being paid to take her to prom. Of course all is forgiven at the end of the film and they kiss and make up. But they don't discuss the fact that she's going to college in New York while he'll most likely stay in Seattle. Yeah, we can kiss that relationship goodbye...

In case you didn't know, I should mention the film is based on the Shakespeare play, The Taming of the Shrew (which I've never read, but really, why do I need to?) and the title of the film refers to a poem Kat reads at the end of the movie.

Is there a party scene? Affirmative. 

Is there a prom scene? Affirmative. 

Is there a football scene? Negative.

Is there a makeover scene? Negative.

Is there a scene where all the different high school cliques are being shown? Affirmative.

Was this movie spoofed in Not Another Teen Movie? Affirmative. The main guy sang "Janie's Got a Gun" because the main girl's name was Janie and everyone freaked out because they thought Janie had a gun. They also spoofed the poem.

Do I own the soundtrack/favorite song - Yes, I like "The Weakness in Me" by Joan Armatrading and "Even Angels Fall" by Jessica Riddle. The best song that's not on the soundtrack is "Just Be Good To Me" by SOS Band. (I also have a rare cover that Mariah Carey performed live in Japan - that was back in the good old days of Napster.)

Darkest scene -  I would say when Bianca punches Joey twice in the face and then knees him in the groin, but that was more hilarious than anything, so I'll say when Kat finds out she was being used as a bet. (Hmm, we've come full circle to She's All That!) 

Favorite line - "There's a difference between like and love: I like my Sketchers, but I love my Prada backpack." - Bianca. I also get a good chuckle everytime the guidance council (played by a pre-West Wing Allison Janney) asks, "Judith, what's another word for engorged?" when she's writing her steamy romance novel.

Favorite character -  Ms. Perky is great. Allison Janney is only in about three scenes, but she's hilarious in all of them and you wish she had more screen time. 

Favorite scene -  Duh, I like the scene where Heath Ledger sings to Julia Stiles! 

Hey, it's the '90s! - Bianca watches The Real World, there are mentions of Dawson's Creek, Marilyn Manson, and the Spice Girls. Also, fliers are used to announce a party. Yes, FLIERS! No Facebook or texting for these freaks who went to high school in 1999! 

And now you've waited for it. The #1 reason why the class of 1999 is the best graduating class of all time. I won't rehash the other nine reasons why it's such an awesome year because you can just go back and read them in my other reviews (and most of them were pretty lame, I will admit). 

So 1999 is the best graduating year of ALL TIME because not only are we the last graduating class of  the nineties, but we are also the last graduating class of the century and millennium. Now before you nitpick and whine that technically 2000 was the last year of the century and millennium, I know that, but to me the clock starts over when you reach 999 and flips to 000, so therefore I count 1999 as the end. Everybody celebrated 2000 as the millennium anyway, except for, like, supernerds.  SO IT TOTALLY COUNTS!!!! Besides, class of 2000, you can brag that you're the first graduating class of the century and millennium. (Sorry, class of 2001). 

                                                                        

Are you ready to go back to high school?

Never Been Kissed
Director: Raja Gosnell
Cast: Drew Barrymore, Michael Vartan, David Arquette, Mollly Shannon, John C. Reilly, Leelee Sobieski
Released: April 9, 1999

This is the only teen movie I've reviewed where the main character isn't a teenager (notice I said character and not actor). Drew Barrymore plays Josie Gellar, a mousy editor at one of the large newspapers in Chicago (I forget which one) who is assigned to go undercover as a student and check out what high school kids are up to and what they think is relevant. So 25-year-old newspaper editor Josie transforms into 17-year-old high school senior Josie and enrolls at a nearby public school where Jessica Alba and James Franco are students.

Her boss (played by John C. Reilly before he became well-known) wants her to befriend the popular kids because he thinks they're where the stories are. The one problem with this is that Josie isn't sure how to do this because back in her high school days, she wasn't just painfully unpopular, but was also unaware of how nobody liked her and it just made me cringe because I've known people like this in my lifetime. She was called "Josie Grossie" by the other students and was subjected to a very cruel joke when the boy she had a crush on asked her to the prom. Of course any person could see he was going to play a horrible prank on her, except for her (and her equally dorky friend) and he ends up throwing eggs at her when he drives by her house in the limo with his real date. Ouch.

Mean girls

At first, Josie befriends a nerdy girl played by Leelee Sobieski who invites her to be part of the school's math club, the Denominators, but has to ditch her when her boss tells her to befriend the popular girls.

Michael Vartan (who is also very familiar with playing people going undercover) plays the English teacher, Mr. Coulson, who becomes very smitten with his "student", Josie. It becomes a tad creepy because, remember, he thinks she's 17! Since Josie is always wearing a hidden camera, everyone at the newspaper is always watching what's going on and her boss wants her to do a story about student-teacher relationships. I don't understand why Coulson was so mad when he found out the truth about Josie. Okay, so he probably wasn't happy that she was planning on writing a story about his inappropriate relationship with a student, but she wasn't going to do that in the first place, and she's 25, not 17! He should be happy that he wasn't flirting with a 17 year old!

He doesn't stay mad at her very long and realizes that he's in love with her and she gets her first real kiss and finds her first true love. Awww.

Is there a party scene? Affirmative. 

Is there a prom scene? Affirmative. Their prom was really weird, though. They were going to go with the theme "The Millennium", but once they found out another school was also going  to have the same theme (gasp! "The Millennium" as a prom theme in 1999???), they decide to change it to "Famous couples in history" and people come to the prom dressed as couples such as Romeo and Juliet, Mary and Joesph, the hare and the turtle...but that's not all. Josie's brother (David Arquette, who is also posing as a student) dresses up as Tom Cruise from Risky Business, so he's wearing no pants; a group of guys come dressed as the Village People, so they're wearing no shirts, Jessica Alba and her clique come dressed as Barbie and one of them is Malibu Barbie so she's only wearing a bikini. Leelee Sobieski and her nerd group come dressed as strands of DNA. WTF? This is the prom, not a Halloween dance! You wear formal crap to prom, not costumes! 

Is there a football scene? Negative, but baseball is an important plot point to the film.

Is there a makeover scene? Affirmative, but it's shown off-screen. Josie makes herself over when she enters high school (again). 

Is there a scene where all the different high school cliques are being shown? Negative, the only two main cliques there were shown were the popular kids and the nerdy kids. 

Was this movie spoofed in Not Another Teen Movie? Affirmative. They have this woman who is obviously in her 50s pose as a high school student. 

Do I own the soundtrack/favorite song - Yes, the soundtrack is really good and the best part is I got it for free because my friend burned it for me, yay! I like all the songs, but my favorites include "Candy in the Sun" by Swirl 360, "Erase and Rewind" by the Cardigans, "Lucky Denver Mint" by Jimmy Eat World, and "Watching the Wheels" by John Lennon.

Darkest scene - Definitely the cruel joke that was played on Josie when she was in high school. Even though they tried to play it for laughs, it was pretty brutal. Most disturbing scenes were Mr. Coulson hitting on his student.

Favorite line - When Leelee Sobieski tells Josie that she wants to go to Northwestern, Josie says, "I went there! Uh, I mean, I went there to use the bathroom once." 

Favorite character -  I enjoyed Molly Shannon's character who worked with Josie.

Favorite scene -  It was totally a cliche, but I did laugh when Molly Shannon's character comes by the school to visit Josie and it just so happens that a guest speaker is supposed to talk to the students about sex-ed during English class (why English class, I don't know) and Mr. Coulson sees her and mistakes her for the guest speaker. It was much, much funnier than the time Gwynnie the Pooh was on Glee and was teaching the kids about sex through freaking singing. Ughhhh.

Hey, it's the '90s! - Cell phones look ridiculously outdated,  soundtrack is very '90s, several shoutouts to the class of '99 :-)

And speaking of shoutouts to the class of '99...

1. Many teen/high school movies came out in 1999.

2. The song  that told people to "party like it's 1999."

3.  Buffy Summers is an alum from the class of '99.

4. Bella Swan is not a graduate from the class of '99.

5. "You Get What You Give" by the New Radicals was released when the class of '99 were seniors.

6.  "Graduation Song" by Vitamin C may have been released for the class of 2000, but it was recorded and probably written in 1999, so I like to think that she got inspiration from the class of '99 for that song.

7. At my school, our class was the last who could leave campus for lunch as freshman.

8. Baz Luhrmann's "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)" was released in the spring of '99 and has advice for graduating students.

9. While there were many teen movies that came out in '99, it was also a great year for movies in general.

Okay, I know I'm reaching with some of these reasons, but I'm saving the best for last!

Two-Eleven-Double O

Bring It On
Director: Peyton Reed
Cast: Kirsten Dunst, Eliza Dushku, Jesse Bradford, Gabrielle Union
Released: August 25, 2000

I'll admit it: before I saw this movie I thought that all cheerleaders did were wave their pom-poms, jump around a bit, and yell "Go, team go!" at football games, and wear cutesy matching outfits. I would not count cheerleading as a sport, but more of a recreational sport like golf or bowling. Let's be honest: cheerleading is pretty lame.

But then I saw this movie and I had a new respect for cheerleaders. Like Eliza Dushu's (or, "The Dushku" as my brother likes to call her) character, Missy, I didn't know there were cheerleading competitions where cheerleading squads compete against each other and make up their own routines with insane gymnastic moves and with precise coordination. Now that's what I call a real sport!

This movie has a cult following with cheerleaders. Or at least, I'm pretty sure it does. There's a really funny scene in Fired Up (that really stupid movie where two boys pretend to be cheerleaders so they can spend the summer at a cheerleading camp) where all the cheerleaders are watching Bring It On and they're reciting every line. It's so funny. I love the gay kid who says, "I love that Jesse Bradford kid! No, really, I love him!"

Hey, it's Glory!

The Toro cheerleaders at Rancho Carne High School in San Diego are the best squad in the country and have won the nationals for several years now. Their captain has graduated from high school and now the torch has been passed to senior Torrance Shipman (played by Kirsten Dunst) who now must make sure their squad continues their winning streak.

You know how in Glee it seems like the only class they have is glee class and all the other subjects are ignored? That's exactly like Bring It On. I think you only see Torrance in one class.

When one of their teammates is taken out due to an injury they hold auditions for a new member and end up choosing Missy, the new girl from L.A. When she sees the girls perform a cheer, she gets all haughty and drives Torrance all the way to L.A. (102 miles!) and when they get to a school in Compton (and they just HAPPEN to arrive right at the moment to see the Clover cheerleading squad performing), they're doing the exact same cheer the Toros were and Torrance suddenly realizes that her predecessor had been stealing the Compton Clover's cheers all this time and they've been winning the competitions with stolen cheers and moves.

Game on! 

Suffice to say, they are pretty screwed and must come up with a whole new routine and cheer in order to qualify for the nationals which takes place in Daytona Beach, Florida, on February 11, 2000 (the meaning of my title in case you were wondering). And let me just say, the routines are the best part of the movie and are excellent and fun to watch.

Meanwhile, Torrance begins to have a romance with Missy's brother, Cliff (Jesse Bradford) who makes her a mixed tape (tape?! Now by 2000 I'm pretty sure we had evolved to CDs!) even though she's already dating this goober of a guy who's now in college and cheating on her with women in their 40s. Hmm, guess who she will end up with?

This movie is a lot of fun to watch, but even more surprisingly, it's actually really good for a teen movie. I've seen it at least six or seven times and I never get bored with it. Soon I'll be able to recite it verbatim like those cheerleaders in Fired Up! 

Is there a party scene? Of course not! These girls are too busy cheerleading to party! 

Is there a prom scene? Of course not! These girls are too busy cheerleading to attend dances!

Is there a football scene? Of course. The joke is that the football team is awful while people come to see the cheerleaders.

Is there a makeover scene? No, unless you count Missy's off-screen makeover from L.A. tough girl to cheerleader.

Is there a scene where all the different high school cliques are being shown? No

Was this movie spoofed in Not Another Teen Movie? Yes, "It's already been brought-tan" is one of the most memorable lines from that film.

Do I own the soundtrack/favorite song - I own the soundtrack and my favorite songs are "Anywhere USA" by PYT, "See Ya" by Atomic Kitten, "Jump Up" by  Da Beat Bros, "Freakin' You" by Jungle Brothers, and even though it's not on the soundtrack, it is featured on the trailer, so I'm gonna count "Happy Boys and Girls" by Aqua because that song is a-w-e-s-o-m-e. (I mean, anything by Aqua is awesome...)

Darkest scene - Cliff tells two boys in his class the last school he went to the kids brought guns and homemade bombs. What, did he transfer from Columbine?! This does take place during the '99/'00 school year....oh, wait, he's from L.A.

Favorite line - It's hard to choose a single one, but I do love "Cheerleaders are dancers....who have gone retarded!" 

Favorite character -  I like Missy and Cliff - Missy because she tells it how like it is, and Cliff because he's cute and cool. For a minor character, Torrance's little brother is really funny, although he kinda reminds me of my brother (even though mine is older). Like Justin, my brother also likes to provoke (I've still never gotten over the time he kept throwing this blue Nerf football at my friend and me) and do gross things like fart right in front of you.

Favorite scene -  The Toro's and Clover's routines at the end and I also love the cheer at the beginning. 

Hey, it's the '90s! - Yes, this movie came out in 2000, but the first half of it takes place during the latter months of '99. I already mentioned the mixed tape (which is more '80s...), there's also Torrance's felt '99, '98, and '97 numbers she has on her walls (presumably cheer-related). In the scene where Torrance is riding in her boyfriend's car, her hair is done up in little barrettes. I remember wearing my hair like that in the '90s! It wasn't often because it took forever to do, but it sure brought back memories...

Torrance may have been a graduate of the class of 2000, (a very respectable graduating year) but I'm going to give you another reason why the class of '99 is still the best ever:

1. Many teen/high school movies came out in 1999.

2. The song  that told people to "party like it's 1999."

3.  Buffy Summers is an alum from the class of '99.

4. Bella Swan is not a graduate from the class of '99.

5. "You Get What You Give" by the New Radicals was released when the class of '99 were seniors.

6.  "Graduation Song" by Vitamin C may have been released for the class of 2000, but it was recorded and probably written in 1999, so I like to think that she got inspiration from the class of '99 for that song.

7. At my school, our class was the last who could leave campus for lunch as freshman.

8. Baz Luhrmann's "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)" was released in the spring of '99 and has advice for graduating students.

Pie-oh-my

American Pie
Director: Paul Weitz
Cast: Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Eugene Levy, Seann William Scott, Chris Klein, Mena Suvari, Tara Reid
Released: July 9, 1999
Viewed in theaters: July 31, 1999

If you like immature and raunchy movies, this one is for you! As far as my rankings for the teen movies I've reviewed thus far, I would only put it ahead of She's All That and Drive Me Crazy (both of which I didn't care for), but below everything else. There are some genuinely funny moments, but the gross-out scenes outrank the funny.

The movie's premise is pretty simple: four senior guys make a pact to "get laid by graduation". Kevin is the only one of the four who has a girlfriend, so the other three have to make their move. Finch goes around spreading rumors about himself that gets girls interested in him, Oz joins the school choir because he learned from a college girl he dated that he should look and appear sensitive at all times, and Jim, the main character, goes after Nadia, the foreign exchange student who is way out of his league, so instead he has to settle for going to prom with Michelle, the band geek.

As you can guess there's plenty of embarrassing scenes Jim finds himself involved in and his dad walks in on every single one! You think he would learn to lock his door! Or not assault a pie in the kitchen in the middle of the day! At least find some privacy in a bathroom or your bedroom!

Most people who've seen this movie when it came out twelve years ago, only remember three scenes: the disturbing pie scene, Finch and Stifler's mom, and the band camp joke. Oh, and maybe the Sherminator. Everything else is pretty forgettable. For instance, I had totally forgotten about the odd porno style music that is used throughout this movie during the more risque scenes.

Is there a party scene? Yes

Is there a prom scene? Yes, and they hired the most tacky band ever!

Is there a football scene? No

Is there a makeover scene? No

Is there a scene where all the different high school cliques are being shown? No

Was this movie spoofed in Not Another Teen Movie? Yes, the opening scene where he's watching a porn-o and his parents walk in is spoofed and I'm sure there were other scenes spoofed.

Do I own the soundtrack/favorite song - No, and  the only song I remember from the film is "One Week" by BareNaked Ladies, a song I do like.

Darkest scene - There are no dark scenes, but I think we can all agree on which the most disturbing is!

Favorite line - "This one time, at band camp -"

Favorite character - the Sherminator! I felt kind of bad for him when the girl humiliated him in front of the whole school! 

Favorite scene - The one where Jim's dad is showing Jim those porno mags is pretty funny.

Hey, it's the '90s - Jim's computer and webcam look like prehistoric artifacts!

And to continue my list of why '99 is the best graduating class:

1. Many teen/high school movies came out in 1999.

2. The song that told people to "party like it's 1999."

3. Buffy Summers is an alum from the class of '99.

4. Bella Swan is not a graduate from the class of '99.

5. "You Get What You Give" by the New Radicals was released when the class of '99 were seniors.

6.  "Graduation Song" by Vitamin C may have been released for the class of 2000, but it was recorded and probably written in 1999, so I like to think that she got inspiration from the class of '99 for that song.

7. At my school, our class was the last who could leave campus for lunch as freshman. The following year freshman were no longer allowed to do this! (Sidenote: this is probably more because we caused too much trouble and not because we're special just because we're the class of '99, but hey, I'm gonna count it!)